Evans Putman is a coach, consultant and best-selling author who helps individuals and change-making entrepreneurs with big, positive missions monetize their messages and build profitable, scalable dream client businesses that change lives.

Evans is going on his 20th year in the online space as an entrepreneur. He is the creator of the Infinite Impact Method™, 7-Figure Dream Client Podcast Blueprint and Co-Founder of My Podcast Coach.

Along with being a co-author of the #1 Best Seller Million Dollar Dads and soon to be released Entrepreneur's Playbook; Evans is also host of the Infinite Impact Radio and Message to Millions podcasts and his trainings have been licensed by and featured in ClickFunnels Founder Russell Brunson's high-ticket coaching programs.

evans@evansputman.com

Insta @evansputman

facebook.com/evans.putman

facebook.com/EvansPutmanHQ

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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.

I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks

Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge

Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective

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Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big

me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together,

we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all

things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,

you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for

change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old

self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can

positively influence your business, your community, and

ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right

into it.

Hello, hello, and welcome to the becoming the big new podcast.

today. I have with me Evans Pittman. He is a coach and

consultant who helps social entrepreneurs and changemakers

create a profitable, profitable, purpose driven online business,

which aligns with their core values and serves their ideal

customers. He's also the host of the infinite impact Radio

Podcast and creator of the infinite impact method. Oh,

Evan, how are you doing today? I'm good. I'm good. I was it's a

little bit of a tongue twister.

Purpose Driven profitable? Yeah, I know that. I do that on

purpose to throw everybody off and get and get things off, like

in a fun way. So it's, I'm doing great. Thank you for having me.

Yeah, I'm super excited to bring you here. I know that you have a

really powerful message and story to share. And I'm really

excited to dive into that. So let's just go ahead and get

rolling with us. Can you tell us a little bit about you kind of

your background, your history? Sure. How far back You want me

to go, we can get back really far. But I'll tell you, what

I'll do is I'll take you back. Because I think this is a sort

of a cool story.

There was a time before I got into entrepreneurship. It was

right before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I was a

personal trainer. And I was burnt out not happy. Not you

know, just not fulfilled in any way really.

And I reached a point where I was a little bit, you know,

desperate not knowing what I wanted to do. I knew I loved

working with people and helping them like change their lives

when I'd see that change. But I there was something else going

on. It just wasn't connecting, right. And I remember this day

that I was out.

I went for a ride. I went to see my friends and I'm coming back.

And I lived down near the coast of South Carolina. So I'm

blessed to have this beautiful island, Isle of Palms and

Sullivan's Island, two islands, actually, with the beach right

there. So I took the beach ride on the way back, just to soak in

the air and enjoy the atmosphere. And as I turned back

on to the mainland, I'm getting ready to cross while I was

getting ready to cross the bridge onto the mainland. I

started having this feeling like you know, I need to go back to

there was a pub called done Levy's is I'm gonna get it done

ladies and get a burger to eat. And it's I was a little weird

back then. Because as a personal trainer, I always planned out my

meal. So I'm like, No, I'm sitting there having this inner

conversation, this little argument, like one side's going,

No, you've got something at home. And the other side's like,

No, you want to go back that was like No, go go home and just

eat. There's no need to go spend money. And then finally I just

pulled over, turned around, went back to get a burger. And when I

went back to get this burger, I sit down at the bar. And there's

like one other person there, this lady and she's sitting next

to me. And I order my food and she just starts talking to me.

And we're talking and she's like, Is everything okay with

you? And she was just sort of, I guess I was putting off an

energy that was there. And she told me she was like, just out

of the blue. She's like, you need to go read this book. And

she told me about this book called the way of the Peaceful

Warrior by Dan Millman. And I was like, okay, and we had this

long. I mean, we had this conversation and she was telling

me she was like, the funny thing is

I don't even know why I'm here today. So like, I just fed this

feeling that I need to come here to eat, and get my food and take

it home to my family. We've already got food at home, but I

just called him and said, I'm coming here to get food, take it

home. And she said, they've messed up my order. I should

have been gone like 30 minutes ago, then you sat down. And I

felt like I needed to tell you about this book. And so I was

like, Okay, this is just a little bit crazy. So I left and

went home immediately, I ordered the book, it was before amazon

prime. So you didn't have like all these

things. I think I ordered it from Barnes and Noble, because

at the time I went to the store, they didn't have it. So I

ordered it. And I read the book. And I don't know if you've read

that before. It's a great book. But I read this book. And after

reading the book, I started, a lot of it was teaching things

like you know, mindfulness, and how just to calm myself down,

calm my brain down. So I did that. During this period. I know

the story's a little long, but during this period, after

reading the book, I had this amazing dream one night that

this guy who was one of my mentors, one of my friends, when

I was growing up, consider him a friend. He was a lot older, but

I used to go to his basketball camp. And his name was

addictive. enzio he shows up in my dream, and it's a really

intense dream. And I hadn't seen or talk to them probably in 15

years. So I get up. The next day, I go online, look them up,

try to figure out how to get out, see an email, or reach out

via email. The next day, I get an email from his brother. He

says that Dick was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.

And they didn't expect him to live for like another week. He

said, but I want to tell you something diff something even

bigger than this. He's like the stranger. You are like the

second either the second or third person that had reached

out to them saying that dick had shown up in this dream. And it

was such an intense dream that they felt like they needed to

reach out. So come full story. First full circle, Dick passed

away, I ended up going out and traveling that summer, leaving

my job behind traveling that summer and teaching basketball

camps with his brother, along with another guy who left his

position as an attorney in his partnership, because he had a

visit from dick as well. And we traveled the country.

And when I came home from that, I was like a total different

person. I was happy I felt healed. And from there, I moved

forward. And I moved to where I live now and actually started on

my entrepreneurial journey.

Oh, talk about chronicity That's crazy. Yes, it was. During this

time, were you like, before you met this woman? Were you going

through something like,

what's just my I mean, just, I was not happy I was, you know,

in not a good position in life.

I just come back from trying, I was actually left personal

training to work another job, and ended up moving back to the

city that I grew up. My father was there, my father was going

through deep depression and all these things were happening. And

he dealt with mental illness. And so I think a lot of that was

pouring into my life too. So when I went back to the location

where I was where I've met that lady, I mean, at that time, I

was just sort of, I was not happy with life, you know, I was

coming home from from work as a personal trainer everyday where

I was the healthy guy. You know, helping people get healthy,

helping them change their lives. And I would come home and I

would fall asleep in my lazy boy every night. Like staring at TV

with a glass of you know, liquor next to me. And just like

drinking myself to sleep and eating horrible food. I'm like,

What am I doing? I'm not, you know, my energy was so off.

So yeah, it was just to me, it was something somebody was

looking out for me somewhere and it pulled me in the right

direction. And you know, that that dream with with Dick divins

do and it was like one of the most amazing situations because

the other guy that actually came and went on the camp with us

that had also been visited in a dream. I mean, this was somebody

who was very successful. He had argued cases in front of

supreme, the Supreme Court. His his career was at his peak, and

he left and walked away to go be a camp counselor at basketball

coaches. I mean, at basketball camps, yeah, because he felt

that, but he was miserable in his other job. And now he's

still doing he does that to this day, and he's like happy and

thriving and he's like this

What I always wanted to do, but I never did it because nobody

always did what I thought I should do. Right. And that was

go to law school, go, you know, do the whole thing. And it was

just an amazing journey. But it did. It took it brought me back

to where I started serving others again, without, you know,

there was no money involved. I was helping these kids, like,

all summer long, it was very healing. And when I came back, I

started looking at my life from a different perspective, like,

Okay, what do I really want to do instead of what I should be

doing? And I started learning about online marketing. And

that's where I got into the world of online marketing for

the first time. So that was like your big turning point in your

life? Yeah, yeah. One of the one of them for sure.

Yeah, that's crazy. And so when you first started into

entrepreneurship, what were you What were you doing? You're

doing marketing or well actually started by I came home, and I

had no, I mean, this is, you know, we're talking about my

first online business was 20 years ago. Okay. So I actually

found it online. I went I remember there's a website, you

can go to called like the Wayback Machine.

Like way back WAY. Ba ck.org. I think it is. And you can type in

and it takes has like screen grabs of everything that's

happened online. So you know, if you're doing if you've done

something online is probably out there. But I went after a recent

podcast interview, I was like, I wonder if that's up there. And I

found my original business that was online, this horrible

website, and it just looks like it's all you know, it. It's so

badly the coding is so old that it doesn't actually completely

show up on the screen. But it's, it's there, but it was Yeah, it

was 20 years ago, I started it was a website called Charleston,

arts, etc. And basically, I was, I was, before Amazon was around,

I was creating an e commerce store where I went, I had

friends that were artists, who were people that did sweetgrass,

baskets, crafts, people who I'd met through my personal

training, and I decided I wanted to help them. And I knew how to

get things online. And they did. And so I started selling their

stuff through like an online portal. Yeah. That was my first

venture into the online world. And I just sort of self taught

myself from there to where I am now. Yes, I'm curious, how did

that how did that develop into what you're doing now with

infinite impact?

Well, that was I mean, 100 180 degrees different than what I do

now. But it all the one common thread through everything that

I've done, from offline to online, has been serving others.

You know, when I serve others, I feel like I'm at.

Like, whenever I get off of like, a quick coaching call or

something, I'm just like, inspired and fired up, you know,

it's like, sitting here writing an article working on, you know,

a sales funnel a marketing message, that's a necessity, but

it's not what lights me up. So it's always everything I've

done, there's been that common thread, where I've helped serve

others, whether it's serving others by, you know, helping

them write their content, which I used to do a lot of content

marketing and copywriting back in the day.

And now, you know, I've moved into more of a coaching

consulting role, because I've done almost all of the things

that you need to do to run an online business through the

years I've learned, and I've figured them out. I'm not

perfect at them. I still have a lot of learning. But um, yeah,

so I've gotten more into the coaching consulting role at this

point. Yeah, my, one of my personal beliefs is that in

order to be both fulfilled and successful, you have to be doing

something that is contributing towards other people's lives,

and you're helping other people. I believe that's, you know, why

we're here is to help lift each other up. It is and I mean, that

and you asked me, that made me that reminded me there was

another impactful thing that happened. This was two years

ago, the first time I went to funnel hacking live, which is a

big marketing event that Click Funnels for people that don't

know. And

I was there with my business partner for my last business.

And, you know, I was fulfilled in that job as well. We I was

working with somebody who I consider a mentor and a friend.

But it was his vision and his thing you know, I was serving

him to help him serve his mission. Right, and I go to this

event.

While I'm sitting there, I'm watching these entrepreneurs,

and I had no idea what to expect. I'm thinking, it's an

internet marketing thing, people are going to be up there, it's

gonna be like sort of techie and this and that. And instead,

like, the first couple of speakers were these amazing

women that came on stage. And they started talking about their

tribes that they built in the impact that they were making.

And they were sharing stories. And they were almost coming to

tears with the stories of transformation that they were

getting in these people by, you know, with their products and

services. So they were making money. So the focus, the money

part was not lost. That was, you know, that was still there. But

the impact and like every person that came on stage that weekend,

it was like, I got chills constantly. I could feel my

goosebumps. And

it was there that I first had like the next sort of tap on my

shoulder that was like, Okay, it's time for you to sort of

step out from behind the curtain. You know, you've been

helping, you've been serving others, but you can go out and

take it a step farther, go bigger, and serve more people.

So I waited, I'd already committed to my business partner

to help him grow that business. So I stuck with it for that

year, we kept grinding and doing well, we took it from zero to

half a million dollars in 12 months. And, you know, I get

profit sharing, I had equity in the company. And I walked away

from all of it. Because I was like, I had that tap on the

shoulder that weekend. And I just told I had to sit down and

have this hard conversation with him, which he made very easy.

But I was like, I just I feel this need to go out and impact

other people's lives. I don't know how yet. I don't know what

the mission is. But it's not where I am now. Because I'm just

the guy behind the computer, figuring out things and not

going out and really, you know, getting that one on one or

getting to impact other people. So that was the next sort of act

in my life. So I don't know what act that is like act 24. I mean,

we go through a lot of different that's the way I read it the

other day, I was like this is life is a lot like a play,

there's a lot of different acts in our lives.

This is one of my favorite parts about your story, actually,

because you were in a very successful, you know, position

with that business. And you made the decision to walk away from

that. And, and to me, like, that's very impactful, because a

lot of times, there's so much fear behind that and people will

stay stuck in positions. That's not a bad position. It's not

like you hated it. But it wasn't your full potential of what

you're truly here to do. And so I'm curious, like, how was that?

Like? How did that feel? Was there a lot of fear? or How was

that transition? I know, you have a family and everything

like that, like was that difficult? Well, yeah, I mean,

first difficult step was I had a family through the business.

Because we, we had gone from myself a VA, and pat my business

partner to grow in an actual team. And within that team, we

had, you know, one guy who I still communicate with and he

had, he was able to buy, buy his wife and family a new home,

because they were getting ready to have their first child. So

they needed to have a bigger house, able to buy a house keep

the other one is a rental investment for their future. We

had another guy who him and his wife were living in a part of

the neighborhood where they didn't feel that safe in this

one neighborhood and they were able to move to another place.

And I'm thinking, Okay, this is really awesome. But it also made

me fearful that if I left that the business would collapse,

because I was sort of the guy that not I'm not trying to this

egos. I'm not speaking from ego but more from I was integral in

setting up every system. And my problem all along was I didn't

have enough trust in everybody. You know, I think that was one

of my issues.

And I should have known better because they were all great

people. And they did we're able to continue it. But I was I was

scared about I was fearful of that. I was fearful of letting

people down them down first because I hadn't really thought

out the money issue yet.

Then I was sort of, you know, like, how am I going to have

this conversation with Pat. Because, you know, we had gone

from me just being a contractor working with him to being a

business partner to be in a friend. Yeah. And I was like,

how is this gonna happen? And I actually just got off another

interview. He was like, how was that conversation? I was like

which conversation you mean the one I had two weeks

In my head, before I ever had the actual one or the actual

conversation, because for about two weeks, when I knew I was

gonna have it, it was like, every day, I'm having these,

like, pretend conversations that are never gonna, you know, they

never existed in the real world.

But then when I went to meet with him, I mean, I remember it,

like, you know, I can still visualize the situation because

it was downtown, in the Starbucks, and we live in a

college town and a busy little downtown, people are coming and

going, it was like nine o'clock in the morning. So a lot of

people are going on their way to work, school kids are coming in

at college kids. And it was almost like, there was this zone

where it was just, I was sitting there, and it was all this noise

going on. But I wasn't even processing it. Because I was so

stressed out about the conversation I had to have. And

then when I told him that I've made the decision, he just

looked at me, he's like, how can I help? And I was like, Holy

mackerel, I mean, I felt like my body just almost felt like it

went limp, because I had been so tense for two weeks.

And I should have known it would be like that, because that's the

kind of person he is. So that part was over worth. And then I

still hadn't really planned out, I don't think I was even worried

about the future. Because I felt like it was such a right

decision

that I didn't really worry about the money, you know, how is it

gonna? How is gonna do anything what I was gonna do, and I

actually spent about the first six months not really focused on

what I was going to do. But by first making myself better by

transforming myself. Because I knew I was scared, the biggest

thing I was scared of is if I take the first opportunity, that

it's going to take me down the wrong path again, that I have to

be clear on myself, you know, at peace with myself know myself to

know what I want to do.

So, so that was like the first six months just sort of getting

clear on that. And to be honest, I mean, I still have times where

I get stressed, because the money isn't where was before

yet. It's coming. But not yet. But I still wake up. But I tell

myself that I wake up and I have you know, I have a gratitude

practice every morning. So that helps get me in the right

vibration in the right mindset. So I don't really worry about it

like today, I had this thing come to me this morning. It was

like, you know, just go into your day, be totally effortless

in your day and live in the present moment. And it's like

little things like that, if I remember that, to get in tune

with that first thing in the morning when I wake up like I

woke up today, and today has been totally effortless. I told

myself this morning, it would be and it hasn't been.

So that's a long, long answer to your question. Yeah, so you

brought up a couple of things in here. You know, one is a tuning

your vibrations and things of that nature. Have you always

kind of had this view of the world? Or is that something that

has developed over time? It's been no, it hasn't. But you

know, it's funny, as I look back, and

I see a lot of it's like a cycle. Yeah. Because when I had

that time back when I, when I met that person in the bar, the

lady and she told me about the book, I really got deep into a

lot of,

you know, more metaphysical spiritual things where I was

reading a lot of like Wayne Dyer books, I was, you know, just

looking into reading books on Buddhism, and doing things like

that. And I actually, it's funny, because I was reading a

book recently, that was discussing how, you know, we

that the universe is within us, and we are within, we're all

just one part of the universe. So it's really basically all

within us. And I just thought about that. I was like, holy

crap, I was like, you know, I've got I've got a few tattoos,

which you can't see. But one of my tattoos that I got, probably

15 years ago, when this was all sort of when that cycle was

happening was I got a tattoo of like the universe, I went and

told my tattoo artists that I wanted it to look like my skin,

like you could pull my skin apart on my shoulder, and the

universe would be coming out of it. And then I read this in a

book just the other day, and it sent me back in time. And I was

like, I was actually in tune with a lot of the things that

I'm in tune with now, more purposefully now, but they were

there then and I just wasn't ready for that knowledge yet,

but it was there. You know, so

I mean, it's it's really amazing. It's like you know it

because I had a discussion with the guy yesterday and he was

talking about how 20 years ago he

He wrote in his journal that he wanted to, he always wrote

things like goals. And then he said, but also write big goals

like magic goals, things that just seem unattainable. But he

said, you have to put those in your journal. And he, he wrote

down something about changing the way that the education

system works for our younger children as they come up through

school. And 20 years later, he is now filming, he all that was

sort of put out of his mind, then he had a health scare,

something happened, he ended up writing a book with all these

things in it to his son, because he was like, laid on the floor

thinking I was gonna die. And my son would never know these

things. So he wrote them out, then now in throughout this,

though, but he's working with like the University of North

Florida, to work on bringing in things like meditation and

different teachings like that for kids in the educational

system. And he just happened to open this journal up. And look

20 years ago to like, almost the date. He had written then that

he wanted to do that he was like, sort of planted the seed.

And for 20 years that seeds been growing, and it just now came

out.

So yeah, so it's just amazing how those things happen. I love

that and, and you guys, I just want you to take note of

something that he said here, the seed was planted, and then he

left it alone. He didn't obsess over it, he didn't stress about

it. He just did it out of, you know, an intuition. Something

made him have that feeling that he wanted to do that he wrote it

down. And then he kind of forgot about it. And then it happened.

And this is something that I've noticed so much in my life as

well with my manifestations is when I set the intention, and

then I release it and I just I just have a faith and a trust

and I just forget about it, then it happens. But if I write down

an intention, and then every day, I'm like, okay, when's it

gonna happen? When's it gonna happen? Then it doesn't happen,

because that obsession is a resistance against it that's

coming from a place of fear that it's not ever going to happen.

Yeah, I never thought of it that way. That's true. That's

definitely true. And he did. And he is like, I, I have not

thought about this for you know, he started, he had a family, he

had to go out. And he started his career as a landscape

architect, and designer, and went about his business all

these years until that health scare happened. And it almost

triggered him and pushed him into this new path. And he's

like, ever since he, he told it was an amazing story said ever

since he.

He started, like, he had that health issue. And then they

started like, doing these things that he had talked about 20

years ago. All these coincidences are coming in play.

Like he randomly met this person who just showed up one day, I

can't remember he told me the story. But the guy used to work

at Nickelodeon, as an he was an illustrator. So he just randomly

showed up out of the blue had moved from Long Island, or Long

Beach, California, all the way to Florida, Jacksonville,

Jacksonville Beach, Florida on the east coast. For some reason,

that seemed very random. And then he shows up meets this guy.

And now he illustrated all the pictures in the guy's book.

So he has like, you know, all these things are happening now.

And it's all almost because of the seed I planted 20 years ago.

Yes, it is. Man. I don't I don't believe in coincidences.

Personally, I believe everything is happening for a reason, even

if we can't, you know, even if we can't see what it is every

step. I mean, I'm sure you feel this in your journey as well

every step that you have taken in your life. You had to have

taken you had to have gone through that business with your

friend, you had to have gone through all of those experiences

to get to that point that you are now. Yeah, it's true. I

mean, and

I think now I'm like, why did I wait all this time to start

doing what I'm doing? Well, I wouldn't have been ready. I

mean, I just would not have been ready it's just like some people

are like why did you wait to have a child when you were the

age because I was 44 when I had my daughter and it's like I

don't know I just never really thought about it before First of

all, but I would have never but when I look back on my life pre

that time I would have been the absolute worst. You know, parent

who knows I might have changed you know, you can always say

that but at the time I was not ready. My life was not ready my

journey. It was not time and yes, I

I think that, that I think what you said is true. And it's

something that I try to focus on a lot too is not to. It's funny

because I had I went to a float tank, my daughter got me this

like gift certificate to a float tank. And I went and they have

these stickers and they say do more nothing. And the funny

thing is, is that, you know, I look at that. And, you know,

obviously, you could look at it they Oh, what are you just

laying around being lazy at the spa? I'm like, No, I don't think

they mean that. I think they mean it in the way that you

know, like, what you're just saying do more nothing. Don't

don't expect it. Just put it out there. Let it happen, you know,

go down the river, not up the river. So yeah, it's, I think

the journey that I think going back to your question, the

journey, we have to just be patient and trust, because

you'll be in the right place at the right time.

So another thing that I know is really important to you. And

something that you help people with, is stepping into their

authenticity and being their true self. I'm curious, you

know, these days in this community, I make fun of myself

for it all the time. But authenticity is definitely kind

of like a buzzword. So I'm curious, like, what does that

what does that mean to you? And what are some things that you do

personally, to make sure that you are living in your truth,

and you are living in your personal authenticity? Yeah, I

think, Well, you know, it's funny, because one of the

reasons that it took me as long as it did to get to this point

now, where I'm putting something out, that the I'm getting ready

to launch something new and the new year and the reason it took

me so long that I look back now I'm like, I wasn't ready, I

wasn't in my authentic self yet. And I had to go everything that

I'm getting ready to teach is what I learned and a lot of it

over the last year.

You know, a lot what I did, like I was explaining the first six

months or so it was working on myself. I got up every morning

and I started putting together a morning routine that consisted

of meditating.

You know, well, first, I'll go through the way I do it, the way

I do it is drink like 36 or 40 something ounces of water, right

out the gate? Well, first First things first, I don't check my

emails or anything at all that stays notifications are off,

everything's off, get up, drink my water.

Go outside, usually to have like a cup of coffee, but I'll

meditate. I'll have coffee, I'll read something. I don't read

anything like a business book or read like something spiritual.

I'll listen to the spent, like a longtime listening to the Dalai

Lama would watch his his videos, because there's just something

about him when I like see him. I just feel happy. Yeah, I mean,

he's like, you just feel his glow, his happiness, his love

that just sort of comes off of him. So I would watch, like some

of his videos of him talking. And that would be my morning

routine. And then while I wrap it up outside, I do gratitude

because I have a friend who created a gratitude app. So I

would actually write down five things, I would use my phone for

meditating for gratitude, but none of the email and Facebook

stuff, then I would exercise and have a green drink. So that was

my morning routine. And I set aside that time to have no

interruptions. I mean, I even I would go outside and do it. So I

didn't, you know, wouldn't be involved with my family. Not

that I don't love my family, but wife and child. But it was like,

I need to go out here and have this time for me to set my

intention for the day to get myself, you know, to that better

vibrational level. And I really focused on that. And I got to

know myself in that time. And that's how I say, you know, you

have to when I talk about authentic self and my, a lot of

people talk about, oh, you know, I practice, I'm working on my

mindset. It's like, Well, you know, just sitting down and like

reading something or meditating isn't just necessarily, it's

great, that's good. But to get to your authentic self, you have

to like start going in and looking at things. And looking

at yourself not judging, give yourself grace, but look at

yourself and be like, and forgive yourself. One that's

like one of the biggest things. Forgive yourself for the way you

the things you've done that you're not happy with. But don't

hold it against yourself, let it go. But you have to go into that

discomfort zone. I think a lot of entrepreneurs it's like the

buzzword is mindset, man. You have to have the right mindset.

It's like, well, the right mindset isn't just like

thinking, Okay, I've got to hustle. 24 seven or the right

mindset is I've got to meditate like once every two months, you

know, the right being authentic means actually getting to know

yourself on a level that's like uncomfortable, you know, and

then just become an actual

be worth it and liking yourself. Yeah. And I just want to touch

on one of the things that you said is you said, you know, you

take that time for the morning without your family. And you

said, you know, obviously, I love them. But one, one thing I

want to point out is by you doing that, that's actually

showing a massive amount of love to your family. Because how are

you supposed to show up for your wife and your daughter, when

you're not in the right mental space? To do that, you know, so

you taking that time alone by yourself to get centered and to

get in the right space is actually showing a massive

amount of love towards them, so that you can show up for them in

the best way possible. I mean, that's why I wake up, you know,

I do the same thing. If I don't wake up, you know, at my

scheduled time to wake up so I can have two hours in the

morning alone before I have to wake my daughter up for school.

I'm not a good mom, like I'm, I'm more reactive, and I'm not

as patient. And so like, that's crucial for me to be able to

show up and to love her. So I just want to point that out.

Because I want you to make sure that you know, you know, yeah,

that's

Yeah, I agree with you. 100%. And, um, you know, it's funny,

because my daughter, it's like, she knows, it's like, I'm not I

don't snap at her anymore. I don't get angry anymore. I mean,

yeah, sure, I get disappointed and things that happen. But I'm

not like that angry. Father. And you know, that's not like,

that's not me. Anyway, I'm not like an angry person. But it

was, you know, stress levels so high and always working and

never taken the time to decompress and take that time

for ourselves for self care.

It just put me in a bad place to where I was not. In my I mean,

my biggest goal, through all of this was to be a good father

first, you know, to my daughter, because I didn't have the best

father. You know, one thing that I don't tell a lot of people,

I'll tell everybody on here is that one of the things that

happened when I came back through that cycle of you know,

going off to the camps after I got the book and the dream and

everything, and I came back, I spent like a week with my

parents. And my dad was like, really like having struggles

then mentally ill. And at one point, I woke up one morning,

like, do this blood curdling scream. And my father, like hid,

was threatening was trying to kill my mother. And was it gonna

kill her with a hammer and then was gonna kill me and kill the

cat. He had it all planned out. And it was all from his mental,

you know, problems. But, um, so that was a big thing for me was

like, Okay, one thing about that you can look at it in a way

like, Oh, my gosh, that's horrible in this and then, you

know, then he, he went on and passed away and died and sort of

disconnected from the rest of us. But it brought me and my mom

to a place that we had never been before really connected. I

mean, so can I've got a tattoo of her on my portrait on my arm.

And people always say, Oh, that's so nice. And I'm like,

She's not dead. It's okay. You can talk about her. She's still

alive. I just did it for her to it. Because what good is it

after the fact you know, it makes you can't see it, then?

Well, she might be able to but

but it you know, you could look at that part of my life as being

something that was just a horrible thing that happened to

me, but I look at it as almost a gift because it brought me and

my mother together. And it also, it almost flipped a switch in me

to where I went from being almost this person that wasn't

living responsibly, what and, you know, just to a totally

different person. And it also helped me once I became a

father, to say, Okay, this is the one thing I can say for him

as it you know, and it's sort of funny, because he was a good

father and a lot of ways but very emotionally unattached. And

then all that stuff that happened was all mental illness.

You know, it wasn't him as a person. But, you know, it sort

of laid the groundwork for me to sort of look at him and say,

Okay, I'm not going to be that way. I'm not going to be the guy

that works all the time, who comes home and is totally

mentally detached, emotionally detached. I've got to be there

for my daughter. So a lot of that self work was necessary to

get to my authentic self so I could bring myself back because

I had sort of, you know, while I was enjoying work and doing that

work, it was pulling me away from the Father I want it to be

and taking me away from my authentic self.

Yeah, wow.

I mean, listening to that it kind of blows my mind because I

had my story is very similar with that. And you know, I grew

up with a dad who's very smart. And you know, a good father, you

know, quote unquote, a good father, but again, has some

stuff going on that makes it so that he can't connect on an

emotional level and drinking problems and all that good

stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I came from it, you know, I grew

up, I didn't need anything I didn't want for anything. So I

mean, a lot of ways he provided. But and then I also have to look

at where he came from the situation that he came from, was

really bad. So I, you know, at one point this year, actually, I

finally, during this six months of contemplation and getting to

my authentic self, actually, and I heard Russell Brunson say this

of all that all things you ever hear like a marketing guru? say

he was talking about forgiveness.

And the one thing you have to do if you're going to be successful

in life, or in business does you have to learn to forgive. And he

was talking about so I mean, I actually went out and I didn't

force myself, but actually, for the first time ever, sat

meditated on it, let it sort of my mind get quiet, and then

tried to focus on him as much as possible and did forgave them.

And then then I made the realization that Wait a minute,

you said, forgiven the most important person and that's

yourself. Then I had to forgive myself. And then once I did

that, everything was great.

The thing was forgiveness, at least what I've noticed is, it's

a process like, it takes some time, you will do some you'll do

something, you'll feel like, Okay, this is great. Things will

start rolling in a positive direction, and then something

might come up again later, and you're like, Oh, wait, I haven't

totally dove all the way in yet.

Kinda like chipping away at it as, as it comes. At least I

don't know if that's something you've noticed in your life, but

it's definitely it's probably, yeah, it's I thought it was

funny. It's funny, you bring that up, and you're spot on,

because I remember when I did it, it's like, okay, that's

done. That's like, celebrating Oh, and I have to worry about

that again. And then all of a sudden, you're right. I mean,

like things would, like, you know, maybe it's the time of

year maybe it's like something that your family used to do

together. Maybe it's you know, something that reminds you of

something, it's like all the sudden then it comes back you're

like, Okay, you can feel that little bit of constraint and

stress. And then you're like, Okay, maybe I do need to keep

working on this. So yeah, unfortunately, it's not just a

pill you can take once I don't think he done with it. I wish it

I wish. Yeah, no, I recently actually had to deal with that

as well. Because I've done a lot of work, um, you know, forgiving

my family for everything during my childhood and just realizing

what got them to that point to be in that space and and how it

wasn't, you know, nothing was personal. It wasn't against me.

But my I had my family here for Thanksgiving. And I felt

something starting to come up again. And I realize, okay,

there's still there's still more work to do. There's still more

we got to do here. That's a big step, though. To actually have

them there. I guess then. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you.

Um, so, how, like, so you do coaching. So I'm curious, how

has mentorship played a role in your life? Do you have people

that you are kind of lean on that you look up to and that

way? I do, actually, um, I've Well, for one, my business

partner, Pat, you know, we still go to lunch, at least once a

month.

And, you know, he I consider him a mentor, even though he may not

really think of himself as a mentor. It's almost like

mentorship by example.

Because he is just such a, you know, a good person and I, you

know, I see a lot on him what I want to make sure I am BM is

very family first, you know, always giving, always serving no

expectation. And we're talking about somebody who's

if you saw him, you know, you'd see me looks like me doesn't

have hair, but he's always like, he's always got like, you know,

cargo pants and a T shirt and flip flops, he's going to yoga.

And you know, just and the guy is I don't I don't know how much

money he has, but he's got a lot, a lot of money. He's very

wealthy, but his wealth comes more from his being the way he

is then the actual money in his bank account. And it was just

surprising to me actually, because I went and I've

researched him first before I started working with

Just to see like all this stuff out there, like, Oh my gosh,

this guy's got, he sold over a billion dollars worth of real

estate. He was the number one real estate agent for Keller

Williams and REMAX both in the entire world. He retired when he

was 46 years old. He's got like, 100 different streams of income

coming in, and I'm thinking, Okay, who's this person I'm

gonna meet? Am I gonna like this person? Because I started having

all these feelings of like, you know, is he gonna be somebody

who reminds me of my past, and I'm not gonna really enjoy this.

And then I went and met him. And I was just like, wow, this guy

is just so authentic and just giving and serving and caring

and, you know, compassionate. And so I would consider him a

mentor, definitely. And then, um, as far as other people I've

learned from who I'm in a coaching program and Russell

Bronson's coaching program. And some of these, my coaches, I

don't know them as personally, as I do with Pat, so I wouldn't

maybe consider them a personal mentor. But they like Russell

Brunson himself one of the most authentic, caring nice guys out

there. He's just somebody's family first. So I look at him.

And I think that's why I'm so connected with that tribe,

because I connected with him. And like I said, when I went to

funnel hacking live, and I just felt that the, it was an

entrepreneurship event. But it was not about money, it was

about serving and contributing in impact. And I just fed off of

that. So I would consider all you know, my coaches that are in

that program definitely is coaches slash mentors, as well.

But, um, but yeah, so I think it's important to have that, and

I'll tell you what else is really important. For everybody

that's watching this as an entrepreneur. It's a lonely,

lonely job. It's a lonely, you know, profession, you know, we

can sit here You and I, this is great when you connect. That's

one reason that's great about having a podcast is you can

connect. But you know, I spent so much time before I

relaunched, but will before I launched my podcasts that I have

now, because before I was just the strategy guy, I was the

marketing guy behind the scenes. But I spent all that time and

you're sort of in a, you know, a vacuum, you know, you're behind

your computer, you're not communicating. Generally, like

my friends that I grew up with, they don't understand this whole

sort of world that I'm in now, because they're not doing it.

And you can get it can get lonely. So the people that are

in this coaching group with me, once you get into that tribe,

and you connect with the right ones, it really is good to have

that support group. And the thing is, is that I think Well,

I know that once you get in a group and are surrounded with

that supportive, non judgmental community of people going

through the same journey you're going through, that will

actually help you rise to your authentic self even farther than

you thought you would, when you're doing it alone. So I

think that's just as important as mentorship is having, you

know, those, you know, brothers and sisters, that you've met

this, going through this stuff with you that you can talk, like

this morning, I have a, I have a friend that we get on the call

every Wednesday morning, and at first there was a purpose behind

it, you know, we were putting something together, we actually

did podcast episodes together where we would, we would read a

chapter in a book, not talk about it together, then jump on,

set a timer for 10 minutes and just go at it, like what we got

out of the chapter, and he would talk about it. And so it was

cool to get the different perspective. But we found

ourselves slowly like, Okay, this isn't really going

anywhere. Business wise, so we just kept the calls going. And

now it's just like, Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to,

you know, what can I help you with? And, you know, we just

talk to each other, because he knows what I'm going through.

And I know what he's going through. So I think that

connection is very, very important for entrepreneurs that

are listening to this because it can get lonely if you don't have

that, you know? Yeah, it really I mean, it really becomes like a

segment family, at least through the different mentorship and

coaching like group programs that I have been in. The people

that I have met through those groups have become like you

said, you know, my brothers and sisters like they are my family.

They understand what I'm going through. It is very hard, it's

very, it can be very long, especially when you're in that

initial stage of leaving behind everything, all the conventional

of what you have.

Thought about the world and what you have thought you were

capable of, and you're trying to break through into this new

chapter, you kind of have to

disconnect from anything that's not serving you at that moment.

And sometimes people don't take that very well. Right.

And it's and if you don't, I mean, if you, if they don't

understand what you're going through, it's hard for them to

empathize with you.

So you need you need the people that know what you're going

through, you know, that are going through that same journey

people to celebrate victories with you. Which is another thing

I would say is if you get if you're like me, whoever's

listening to us, as entrepreneurs, you need to learn

to celebrate the smallest victories remind yourself, you

know, like, yesterday, last night, I didn't want to do it, I

was tired. But I knew I needed to get this podcast episode,

finished and ready to publish on Thursday. And I did it. And I

went to bed. And I was like, Okay, I'm actually sort of proud

of myself, because I, you know, I was like, I was about ready to

just close my computer and stop. And I was like, that's not a big

deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's like, you know,

you have to remember to celebrate those victories. And

like that one thing I learned the morning I had, I keep a

whiteboard over here. And I'm my morning routine. Actually, I

used to just get up and do the morning routine. But then I

started writing down by everything I do in the morning.

So I had like an A meditate, gratitude, hydrate, exercise.

And after I did each one, I got my little

What do you call it a little marker. And I checked, put a

green checkmark next to it.

I'm like, why am I why is that such a big deal. I do them every

morning. But you know what, sometimes you get so caught up,

in like, all of a sudden, when you do pick up your phone and

you do start answering messages, you do get caught up into that

reactive world, that sometimes you can get carried away and you

feel like I didn't accomplish anything today, you can look

over and go, Oh, I got checkmarks next to all of my

morning routines. So that's a victory. You know, I love that

sometimes I do the same, I get the same thing, I do the same

exact thing. Sometimes even if I'm having kind of like a little

bit more of a down day, I'm not feeling very good about myself,

I will make a list of all of the things that I've already done,

whether that be like make my bed, I fed my child breakfast,

like it could be like the most mundane, simple thing. And I

will write it all down. And I will put a green check mark next

to it just the same as what you're saying. Because it

triggers me to be like, Oh, look, I have accomplished things

like, exactly. Maybe I haven't, you know, done a TED talk today.

But I've done all of these things. Yeah, that's like the,

you know, it's funny, because Carla, the lady that created

that gratitude app, she talks about, you know, gratitude, and

a lot of people she's like, the thing that people get wrong

about gratitude is they feel like it has to be some grand,

amazing things. She's like, just get up and you know, it could be

like, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm grateful for the fact that, you

know, call Chris morning, or I'm grateful for the fact that, you

know, I got up and I had the coffee tasted good. She's like,

just it's the act of actually just doing it. So even though,

you know, we may think it's inconsequential to put a

checkmark next to Oh, I drink my water this morning. It's still,

it's something to celebrate. It's something that puts you in

that higher frequency where you're you're accomplishing

something, because a lot of times you'll feel like you might

get to the end of the day, and just like, Oh, I didn't get

anything done today. And you have to have those small

victories to feel better about your day.

I completely agree. And oh, my goodness, like we could talk for

hours. This is the same thing that happened when I was on your

podcast, right?

Um, but I do like to keep these I try to keep them at least

under an hour. So if there's like a final thought that you

would like to leave with people today, what what would that be?

Well, I like to always get back to, you know, well, a couple

things. But, you know, being focused on your authentic self,

don't be afraid to be yourself. And to, you know, step through

when you start to feel constraint or push back from

yourself, just step through it, knowing that there's greater

things ahead. And when you if you are, you start to rise into

your most authentic self, that gives you the opportunity to

really start transforming other's lives, which is what we

all want to do, but you can't do

Until you focus on yourself first. So like you said, you

know, it's not being selfish. It's just self care, take care

of yourself get into that authentic zone, then this i