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Following the Synchronicities with Evans Putman
Episode 419th March 2021 • The Becoming the Big Me Podcast • Djemilah Birnie
00:00:00 01:00:37

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Evans Putman is a coach, consultant and best-selling author who helps individuals and change-making entrepreneurs with big, positive missions monetize their messages and build profitable, scalable dream client businesses that change lives.

Evans is going on his 20th year in the online space as an entrepreneur. He is the creator of the Infinite Impact Method™, 7-Figure Dream Client Podcast Blueprint and Co-Founder of My Podcast Coach.

Along with being a co-author of the #1 Best Seller Million Dollar Dads and soon to be released Entrepreneur's Playbook; Evans is also host of the Infinite Impact Radio and Message to Millions podcasts and his trainings have been licensed by and featured in ClickFunnels Founder Russell Brunson's high-ticket coaching programs.

evans@evansputman.com

Insta @evansputman

facebook.com/evans.putman

facebook.com/EvansPutmanHQ

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Hi! I am your host Djemilah Birnie of www.becomingthebigme.com . I have been building businesses online since the age of 17. When I discovered the power that we hold within our own minds my world truly began to change.


I love to write and have published some books, some of them have even hit some charts 😲 You can check them out here http://bit.ly/djemilahbooks


Ready to start playing BIG and step into your Big Me potential by harnessing the power of your mind? Then make sure you join the free Rewire challenge to get all the tools you need! https://www.djemilah.com/rewirechallenge


Don't forget to check out the little lady's podcast "A Kid's Perspective" where she answers your questions on all of life's most pressing issues, in her eyes, a kid! http://bit.ly/akidsperspective


Let's Connect! #allthelinks ⬇


https://djemilah.com/


https://www.facebook.com/djemilah/


https://www.instagram.com/mimi.the.genie/


https://www.tiktok.com/@djemilah

Transcripts

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Hello, fellow Earthlings. Welcome to the becoming the big

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me podcast. I'm your host, Djemilah, Birnie. And together,

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we will be stepping into our highest potential, exploring all

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things mind, body, and soul. With justice, major business,

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you're a spiritual badass solopreneur and a warrior for

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change, you're ready to expand your impact and leave your old

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self behind in order to raise your vibration so that you can

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positively influence your business, your community, and

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ultimately, the world. Without further ado, let's dive right

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into it.

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the becoming the big new podcast.

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today. I have with me Evans Pittman. He is a coach and

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consultant who helps social entrepreneurs and changemakers

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create a profitable, profitable, purpose driven online business,

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which aligns with their core values and serves their ideal

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customers. He's also the host of the infinite impact Radio

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Podcast and creator of the infinite impact method. Oh,

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Evan, how are you doing today? I'm good. I'm good. I was it's a

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little bit of a tongue twister.

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Purpose Driven profitable? Yeah, I know that. I do that on

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purpose to throw everybody off and get and get things off, like

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in a fun way. So it's, I'm doing great. Thank you for having me.

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Yeah, I'm super excited to bring you here. I know that you have a

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really powerful message and story to share. And I'm really

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excited to dive into that. So let's just go ahead and get

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rolling with us. Can you tell us a little bit about you kind of

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your background, your history? Sure. How far back You want me

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to go, we can get back really far. But I'll tell you, what

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I'll do is I'll take you back. Because I think this is a sort

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of a cool story.

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There was a time before I got into entrepreneurship. It was

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right before I started my entrepreneurial journey. I was a

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personal trainer. And I was burnt out not happy. Not you

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know, just not fulfilled in any way really.

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And I reached a point where I was a little bit, you know,

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desperate not knowing what I wanted to do. I knew I loved

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working with people and helping them like change their lives

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when I'd see that change. But I there was something else going

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on. It just wasn't connecting, right. And I remember this day

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that I was out.

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I went for a ride. I went to see my friends and I'm coming back.

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And I lived down near the coast of South Carolina. So I'm

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blessed to have this beautiful island, Isle of Palms and

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Sullivan's Island, two islands, actually, with the beach right

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there. So I took the beach ride on the way back, just to soak in

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the air and enjoy the atmosphere. And as I turned back

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on to the mainland, I'm getting ready to cross while I was

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getting ready to cross the bridge onto the mainland. I

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started having this feeling like you know, I need to go back to

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there was a pub called done Levy's is I'm gonna get it done

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ladies and get a burger to eat. And it's I was a little weird

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back then. Because as a personal trainer, I always planned out my

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meal. So I'm like, No, I'm sitting there having this inner

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conversation, this little argument, like one side's going,

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No, you've got something at home. And the other side's like,

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No, you want to go back that was like No, go go home and just

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eat. There's no need to go spend money. And then finally I just

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pulled over, turned around, went back to get a burger. And when I

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went back to get this burger, I sit down at the bar. And there's

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like one other person there, this lady and she's sitting next

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to me. And I order my food and she just starts talking to me.

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And we're talking and she's like, Is everything okay with

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you? And she was just sort of, I guess I was putting off an

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energy that was there. And she told me she was like, just out

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of the blue. She's like, you need to go read this book. And

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she told me about this book called the way of the Peaceful

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Warrior by Dan Millman. And I was like, okay, and we had this

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long. I mean, we had this conversation and she was telling

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me she was like, the funny thing is

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I don't even know why I'm here today. So like, I just fed this

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feeling that I need to come here to eat, and get my food and take

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it home to my family. We've already got food at home, but I

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just called him and said, I'm coming here to get food, take it

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home. And she said, they've messed up my order. I should

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have been gone like 30 minutes ago, then you sat down. And I

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felt like I needed to tell you about this book. And so I was

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like, Okay, this is just a little bit crazy. So I left and

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went home immediately, I ordered the book, it was before amazon

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prime. So you didn't have like all these

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things. I think I ordered it from Barnes and Noble, because

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at the time I went to the store, they didn't have it. So I

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ordered it. And I read the book. And I don't know if you've read

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that before. It's a great book. But I read this book. And after

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reading the book, I started, a lot of it was teaching things

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like you know, mindfulness, and how just to calm myself down,

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calm my brain down. So I did that. During this period. I know

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the story's a little long, but during this period, after

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reading the book, I had this amazing dream one night that

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this guy who was one of my mentors, one of my friends, when

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I was growing up, consider him a friend. He was a lot older, but

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I used to go to his basketball camp. And his name was

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addictive. enzio he shows up in my dream, and it's a really

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intense dream. And I hadn't seen or talk to them probably in 15

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years. So I get up. The next day, I go online, look them up,

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try to figure out how to get out, see an email, or reach out

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via email. The next day, I get an email from his brother. He

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says that Dick was just diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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And they didn't expect him to live for like another week. He

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said, but I want to tell you something diff something even

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bigger than this. He's like the stranger. You are like the

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second either the second or third person that had reached

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out to them saying that dick had shown up in this dream. And it

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was such an intense dream that they felt like they needed to

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reach out. So come full story. First full circle, Dick passed

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away, I ended up going out and traveling that summer, leaving

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my job behind traveling that summer and teaching basketball

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camps with his brother, along with another guy who left his

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position as an attorney in his partnership, because he had a

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visit from dick as well. And we traveled the country.

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And when I came home from that, I was like a total different

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person. I was happy I felt healed. And from there, I moved

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forward. And I moved to where I live now and actually started on

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my entrepreneurial journey.

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Oh, talk about chronicity That's crazy. Yes, it was. During this

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time, were you like, before you met this woman? Were you going

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through something like,

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what's just my I mean, just, I was not happy I was, you know,

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in not a good position in life.

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I just come back from trying, I was actually left personal

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training to work another job, and ended up moving back to the

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city that I grew up. My father was there, my father was going

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through deep depression and all these things were happening. And

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he dealt with mental illness. And so I think a lot of that was

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pouring into my life too. So when I went back to the location

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where I was where I've met that lady, I mean, at that time, I

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was just sort of, I was not happy with life, you know, I was

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coming home from from work as a personal trainer everyday where

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I was the healthy guy. You know, helping people get healthy,

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helping them change their lives. And I would come home and I

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would fall asleep in my lazy boy every night. Like staring at TV

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with a glass of you know, liquor next to me. And just like

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drinking myself to sleep and eating horrible food. I'm like,

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What am I doing? I'm not, you know, my energy was so off.

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So yeah, it was just to me, it was something somebody was

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looking out for me somewhere and it pulled me in the right

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direction. And you know, that that dream with with Dick divins

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do and it was like one of the most amazing situations because

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the other guy that actually came and went on the camp with us

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that had also been visited in a dream. I mean, this was somebody

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who was very successful. He had argued cases in front of

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supreme, the Supreme Court. His his career was at his peak, and

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he left and walked away to go be a camp counselor at basketball

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coaches. I mean, at basketball camps, yeah, because he felt

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that, but he was miserable in his other job. And now he's

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still doing he does that to this day, and he's like happy and

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thriving and he's like this

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What I always wanted to do, but I never did it because nobody

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always did what I thought I should do. Right. And that was

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go to law school, go, you know, do the whole thing. And it was

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just an amazing journey. But it did. It took it brought me back

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to where I started serving others again, without, you know,

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there was no money involved. I was helping these kids, like,

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all summer long, it was very healing. And when I came back, I

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started looking at my life from a different perspective, like,

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Okay, what do I really want to do instead of what I should be

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doing? And I started learning about online marketing. And

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that's where I got into the world of online marketing for

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the first time. So that was like your big turning point in your

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life? Yeah, yeah. One of the one of them for sure.

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Yeah, that's crazy. And so when you first started into

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entrepreneurship, what were you What were you doing? You're

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doing marketing or well actually started by I came home, and I

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had no, I mean, this is, you know, we're talking about my

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first online business was 20 years ago. Okay. So I actually

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found it online. I went I remember there's a website, you

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can go to called like the Wayback Machine.

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Like way back WAY. Ba ck.org. I think it is. And you can type in

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and it takes has like screen grabs of everything that's

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happened online. So you know, if you're doing if you've done

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something online is probably out there. But I went after a recent

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podcast interview, I was like, I wonder if that's up there. And I

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found my original business that was online, this horrible

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website, and it just looks like it's all you know, it. It's so

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badly the coding is so old that it doesn't actually completely

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show up on the screen. But it's, it's there, but it was Yeah, it

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was 20 years ago, I started it was a website called Charleston,

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arts, etc. And basically, I was, I was, before Amazon was around,

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I was creating an e commerce store where I went, I had

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friends that were artists, who were people that did sweetgrass,

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baskets, crafts, people who I'd met through my personal

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training, and I decided I wanted to help them. And I knew how to

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get things online. And they did. And so I started selling their

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stuff through like an online portal. Yeah. That was my first

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venture into the online world. And I just sort of self taught

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myself from there to where I am now. Yes, I'm curious, how did

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that how did that develop into what you're doing now with

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infinite impact?

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Well, that was I mean, 100 180 degrees different than what I do

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now. But it all the one common thread through everything that

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I've done, from offline to online, has been serving others.

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You know, when I serve others, I feel like I'm at.

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Like, whenever I get off of like, a quick coaching call or

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something, I'm just like, inspired and fired up, you know,

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it's like, sitting here writing an article working on, you know,

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a sales funnel a marketing message, that's a necessity, but

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it's not what lights me up. So it's always everything I've

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done, there's been that common thread, where I've helped serve

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others, whether it's serving others by, you know, helping

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them write their content, which I used to do a lot of content

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marketing and copywriting back in the day.

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And now, you know, I've moved into more of a coaching

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consulting role, because I've done almost all of the things

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that you need to do to run an online business through the

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years I've learned, and I've figured them out. I'm not

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perfect at them. I still have a lot of learning. But um, yeah,

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so I've gotten more into the coaching consulting role at this

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point. Yeah, my, one of my personal beliefs is that in

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order to be both fulfilled and successful, you have to be doing

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something that is contributing towards other people's lives,

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and you're helping other people. I believe that's, you know, why

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we're here is to help lift each other up. It is and I mean, that

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and you asked me, that made me that reminded me there was

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another impactful thing that happened. This was two years

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ago, the first time I went to funnel hacking live, which is a

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big marketing event that Click Funnels for people that don't

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know. And

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I was there with my business partner for my last business.

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And, you know, I was fulfilled in that job as well. We I was

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working with somebody who I consider a mentor and a friend.

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But it was his vision and his thing you know, I was serving

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him to help him serve his mission. Right, and I go to this

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event.

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While I'm sitting there, I'm watching these entrepreneurs,

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and I had no idea what to expect. I'm thinking, it's an

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internet marketing thing, people are going to be up there, it's

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gonna be like sort of techie and this and that. And instead,

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like, the first couple of speakers were these amazing

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women that came on stage. And they started talking about their

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tribes that they built in the impact that they were making.

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And they were sharing stories. And they were almost coming to

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tears with the stories of transformation that they were

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getting in these people by, you know, with their products and

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services. So they were making money. So the focus, the money

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part was not lost. That was, you know, that was still there. But

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the impact and like every person that came on stage that weekend,

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it was like, I got chills constantly. I could feel my

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goosebumps. And

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it was there that I first had like the next sort of tap on my

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shoulder that was like, Okay, it's time for you to sort of

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step out from behind the curtain. You know, you've been

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helping, you've been serving others, but you can go out and

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take it a step farther, go bigger, and serve more people.

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So I waited, I'd already committed to my business partner

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to help him grow that business. So I stuck with it for that

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year, we kept grinding and doing well, we took it from zero to

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half a million dollars in 12 months. And, you know, I get

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profit sharing, I had equity in the company. And I walked away

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from all of it. Because I was like, I had that tap on the

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shoulder that weekend. And I just told I had to sit down and

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have this hard conversation with him, which he made very easy.

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But I was like, I just I feel this need to go out and impact

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other people's lives. I don't know how yet. I don't know what

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the mission is. But it's not where I am now. Because I'm just

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the guy behind the computer, figuring out things and not

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going out and really, you know, getting that one on one or

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getting to impact other people. So that was the next sort of act

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in my life. So I don't know what act that is like act 24. I mean,

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we go through a lot of different that's the way I read it the

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other day, I was like this is life is a lot like a play,

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there's a lot of different acts in our lives.

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This is one of my favorite parts about your story, actually,

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because you were in a very successful, you know, position

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with that business. And you made the decision to walk away from

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that. And, and to me, like, that's very impactful, because a

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lot of times, there's so much fear behind that and people will

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stay stuck in positions. That's not a bad position. It's not

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like you hated it. But it wasn't your full potential of what

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you're truly here to do. And so I'm curious, like, how was that?

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Like? How did that feel? Was there a lot of fear? or How was

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that transition? I know, you have a family and everything

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like that, like was that difficult? Well, yeah, I mean,

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first difficult step was I had a family through the business.

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Because we, we had gone from myself a VA, and pat my business

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partner to grow in an actual team. And within that team, we

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had, you know, one guy who I still communicate with and he

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had, he was able to buy, buy his wife and family a new home,

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because they were getting ready to have their first child. So

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they needed to have a bigger house, able to buy a house keep

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the other one is a rental investment for their future. We

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had another guy who him and his wife were living in a part of

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the neighborhood where they didn't feel that safe in this

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one neighborhood and they were able to move to another place.

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And I'm thinking, Okay, this is really awesome. But it also made

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me fearful that if I left that the business would collapse,

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because I was sort of the guy that not I'm not trying to this

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egos. I'm not speaking from ego but more from I was integral in

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setting up every system. And my problem all along was I didn't

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have enough trust in everybody. You know, I think that was one

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of my issues.

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And I should have known better because they were all great

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people. And they did we're able to continue it. But I was I was

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scared about I was fearful of that. I was fearful of letting

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people down them down first because I hadn't really thought

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out the money issue yet.

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Then I was sort of, you know, like, how am I going to have

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this conversation with Pat. Because, you know, we had gone

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from me just being a contractor working with him to being a

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business partner to be in a friend. Yeah. And I was like,

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how is this gonna happen? And I actually just got off another

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interview. He was like, how was that conversation? I was like

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which conversation you mean the one I had two weeks

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In my head, before I ever had the actual one or the actual

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conversation, because for about two weeks, when I knew I was

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gonna have it, it was like, every day, I'm having these,

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like, pretend conversations that are never gonna, you know, they

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never existed in the real world.

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But then when I went to meet with him, I mean, I remember it,

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like, you know, I can still visualize the situation because

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it was downtown, in the Starbucks, and we live in a

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college town and a busy little downtown, people are coming and

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going, it was like nine o'clock in the morning. So a lot of

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people are going on their way to work, school kids are coming in

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at college kids. And it was almost like, there was this zone

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where it was just, I was sitting there, and it was all this noise

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going on. But I wasn't even processing it. Because I was so

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stressed out about the conversation I had to have. And

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then when I told him that I've made the decision, he just

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looked at me, he's like, how can I help? And I was like, Holy

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mackerel, I mean, I felt like my body just almost felt like it

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went limp, because I had been so tense for two weeks.

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And I should have known it would be like that, because that's the

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kind of person he is. So that part was over worth. And then I

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still hadn't really planned out, I don't think I was even worried

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about the future. Because I felt like it was such a right

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decision

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that I didn't really worry about the money, you know, how is it

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gonna? How is gonna do anything what I was gonna do, and I

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actually spent about the first six months not really focused on

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what I was going to do. But by first making myself better by

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transforming myself. Because I knew I was scared, the biggest

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thing I was scared of is if I take the first opportunity, that

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it's going to take me down the wrong path again, that I have to

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be clear on myself, you know, at peace with myself know myself to

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know what I want to do.

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So, so that was like the first six months just sort of getting

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clear on that. And to be honest, I mean, I still have times where

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I get stressed, because the money isn't where was before

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yet. It's coming. But not yet. But I still wake up. But I tell

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myself that I wake up and I have you know, I have a gratitude

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practice every morning. So that helps get me in the right

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vibration in the right mindset. So I don't really worry about it

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like today, I had this thing come to me this morning. It was

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like, you know, just go into your day, be totally effortless

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in your day and live in the present moment. And it's like

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little things like that, if I remember that, to get in tune

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with that first thing in the morning when I wake up like I

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woke up today, and today has been totally effortless. I told

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myself this morning, it would be and it hasn't been.

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So that's a long, long answer to your question. Yeah, so you

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brought up a couple of things in here. You know, one is a tuning

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your vibrations and things of that nature. Have you always

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kind of had this view of the world? Or is that something that

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has developed over time? It's been no, it hasn't. But you

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know, it's funny, as I look back, and

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I see a lot of it's like a cycle. Yeah. Because when I had

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that time back when I, when I met that person in the bar, the

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lady and she told me about the book, I really got deep into a

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lot of,

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you know, more metaphysical spiritual things where I was

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reading a lot of like Wayne Dyer books, I was, you know, just

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looking into reading books on Buddhism, and doing things like

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that. And I actually, it's funny, because I was reading a

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book recently, that was discussing how, you know, we

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that the universe is within us, and we are within, we're all

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just one part of the universe. So it's really basically all

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within us. And I just thought about that. I was like, holy

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crap, I was like, you know, I've got I've got a few tattoos,

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which you can't see. But one of my tattoos that I got, probably

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15 years ago, when this was all sort of when that cycle was

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happening was I got a tattoo of like the universe, I went and

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told my tattoo artists that I wanted it to look like my skin,

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like you could pull my skin apart on my shoulder, and the

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universe would be coming out of it. And then I read this in a

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book just the other day, and it sent me back in time. And I was

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like, I was actually in tune with a lot of the things that

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I'm in tune with now, more purposefully now, but they were

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there then and I just wasn't ready for that knowledge yet,

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but it was there. You know, so

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I mean, it's it's really amazing. It's like you know it

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because I had a discussion with the guy yesterday and he was

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talking about how 20 years ago he

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He wrote in his journal that he wanted to, he always wrote

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things like goals. And then he said, but also write big goals

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like magic goals, things that just seem unattainable. But he

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said, you have to put those in your journal. And he, he wrote

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down something about changing the way that the education

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system works for our younger children as they come up through

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school. And 20 years later, he is now filming, he all that was

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sort of put out of his mind, then he had a health scare,

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something happened, he ended up writing a book with all these

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things in it to his son, because he was like, laid on the floor

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thinking I was gonna die. And my son would never know these

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things. So he wrote them out, then now in throughout this,

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though, but he's working with like the University of North

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Florida, to work on bringing in things like meditation and

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different teachings like that for kids in the educational

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system. And he just happened to open this journal up. And look

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20 years ago to like, almost the date. He had written then that

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he wanted to do that he was like, sort of planted the seed.

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And for 20 years that seeds been growing, and it just now came

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out.

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So yeah, so it's just amazing how those things happen. I love

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that and, and you guys, I just want you to take note of

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something that he said here, the seed was planted, and then he

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left it alone. He didn't obsess over it, he didn't stress about

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it. He just did it out of, you know, an intuition. Something

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made him have that feeling that he wanted to do that he wrote it

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down. And then he kind of forgot about it. And then it happened.

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And this is something that I've noticed so much in my life as

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well with my manifestations is when I set the intention, and

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then I release it and I just I just have a faith and a trust

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and I just forget about it, then it happens. But if I write down

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an intention, and then every day, I'm like, okay, when's it

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gonna happen? When's it gonna happen? Then it doesn't happen,

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because that obsession is a resistance against it that's

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coming from a place of fear that it's not ever going to happen.

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Yeah, I never thought of it that way. That's true. That's

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definitely true. And he did. And he is like, I, I have not

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thought about this for you know, he started, he had a family, he

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had to go out. And he started his career as a landscape

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architect, and designer, and went about his business all

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these years until that health scare happened. And it almost

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triggered him and pushed him into this new path. And he's

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like, ever since he, he told it was an amazing story said ever

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since he.

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He started, like, he had that health issue. And then they

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started like, doing these things that he had talked about 20

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years ago. All these coincidences are coming in play.

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Like he randomly met this person who just showed up one day, I

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can't remember he told me the story. But the guy used to work

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at Nickelodeon, as an he was an illustrator. So he just randomly

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showed up out of the blue had moved from Long Island, or Long

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Beach, California, all the way to Florida, Jacksonville,

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Jacksonville Beach, Florida on the east coast. For some reason,

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that seemed very random. And then he shows up meets this guy.

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And now he illustrated all the pictures in the guy's book.

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So he has like, you know, all these things are happening now.

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And it's all almost because of the seed I planted 20 years ago.

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Yes, it is. Man. I don't I don't believe in coincidences.

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Personally, I believe everything is happening for a reason, even

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if we can't, you know, even if we can't see what it is every

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step. I mean, I'm sure you feel this in your journey as well

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every step that you have taken in your life. You had to have

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taken you had to have gone through that business with your

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friend, you had to have gone through all of those experiences

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to get to that point that you are now. Yeah, it's true. I

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mean, and

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I think now I'm like, why did I wait all this time to start

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doing what I'm doing? Well, I wouldn't have been ready. I

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mean, I just would not have been ready it's just like some people

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are like why did you wait to have a child when you were the

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age because I was 44 when I had my daughter and it's like I

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don't know I just never really thought about it before First of

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all, but I would have never but when I look back on my life pre

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that time I would have been the absolute worst. You know, parent

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who knows I might have changed you know, you can always say

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that but at the time I was not ready. My life was not ready my

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journey. It was not time and yes, I

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I think that, that I think what you said is true. And it's

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something that I try to focus on a lot too is not to. It's funny

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because I had I went to a float tank, my daughter got me this

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like gift certificate to a float tank. And I went and they have

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these stickers and they say do more nothing. And the funny

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thing is, is that, you know, I look at that. And, you know,

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obviously, you could look at it they Oh, what are you just

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laying around being lazy at the spa? I'm like, No, I don't think

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they mean that. I think they mean it in the way that you

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know, like, what you're just saying do more nothing. Don't

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don't expect it. Just put it out there. Let it happen, you know,

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go down the river, not up the river. So yeah, it's, I think

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the journey that I think going back to your question, the

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journey, we have to just be patient and trust, because

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you'll be in the right place at the right time.

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So another thing that I know is really important to you. And

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something that you help people with, is stepping into their

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authenticity and being their true self. I'm curious, you

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know, these days in this community, I make fun of myself

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for it all the time. But authenticity is definitely kind

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of like a buzzword. So I'm curious, like, what does that

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what does that mean to you? And what are some things that you do

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personally, to make sure that you are living in your truth,

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and you are living in your personal authenticity? Yeah, I

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think, Well, you know, it's funny, because one of the

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reasons that it took me as long as it did to get to this point

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now, where I'm putting something out, that the I'm getting ready

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to launch something new and the new year and the reason it took

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me so long that I look back now I'm like, I wasn't ready, I

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wasn't in my authentic self yet. And I had to go everything that

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I'm getting ready to teach is what I learned and a lot of it

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over the last year.

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You know, a lot what I did, like I was explaining the first six

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months or so it was working on myself. I got up every morning

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and I started putting together a morning routine that consisted

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of meditating.

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You know, well, first, I'll go through the way I do it, the way

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I do it is drink like 36 or 40 something ounces of water, right

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out the gate? Well, first First things first, I don't check my

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emails or anything at all that stays notifications are off,

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everything's off, get up, drink my water.

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Go outside, usually to have like a cup of coffee, but I'll

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meditate. I'll have coffee, I'll read something. I don't read

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anything like a business book or read like something spiritual.

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I'll listen to the spent, like a longtime listening to the Dalai

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Lama would watch his his videos, because there's just something

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about him when I like see him. I just feel happy. Yeah, I mean,

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he's like, you just feel his glow, his happiness, his love

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that just sort of comes off of him. So I would watch, like some

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of his videos of him talking. And that would be my morning

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routine. And then while I wrap it up outside, I do gratitude

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because I have a friend who created a gratitude app. So I

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would actually write down five things, I would use my phone for

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meditating for gratitude, but none of the email and Facebook

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stuff, then I would exercise and have a green drink. So that was

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my morning routine. And I set aside that time to have no

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interruptions. I mean, I even I would go outside and do it. So I

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didn't, you know, wouldn't be involved with my family. Not

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that I don't love my family, but wife and child. But it was like,

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I need to go out here and have this time for me to set my

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intention for the day to get myself, you know, to that better

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vibrational level. And I really focused on that. And I got to

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know myself in that time. And that's how I say, you know, you

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have to when I talk about authentic self and my, a lot of

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people talk about, oh, you know, I practice, I'm working on my

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mindset. It's like, Well, you know, just sitting down and like

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reading something or meditating isn't just necessarily, it's

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great, that's good. But to get to your authentic self, you have

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to like start going in and looking at things. And looking

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at yourself not judging, give yourself grace, but look at

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yourself and be like, and forgive yourself. One that's

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like one of the biggest things. Forgive yourself for the way you

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the things you've done that you're not happy with. But don't

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hold it against yourself, let it go. But you have to go into that

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discomfort zone. I think a lot of entrepreneurs it's like the

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buzzword is mindset, man. You have to have the right mindset.

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It's like, well, the right mindset isn't just like

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thinking, Okay, I've got to hustle. 24 seven or the right

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mindset is I've got to meditate like once every two months, you

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know, the right being authentic means actually getting to know

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yourself on a level that's like uncomfortable, you know, and

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then just become an actual

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be worth it and liking yourself. Yeah. And I just want to touch

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on one of the things that you said is you said, you know, you

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take that time for the morning without your family. And you

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said, you know, obviously, I love them. But one, one thing I

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want to point out is by you doing that, that's actually

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showing a massive amount of love to your family. Because how are

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you supposed to show up for your wife and your daughter, when

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you're not in the right mental space? To do that, you know, so

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you taking that time alone by yourself to get centered and to

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get in the right space is actually showing a massive

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amount of love towards them, so that you can show up for them in

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the best way possible. I mean, that's why I wake up, you know,

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I do the same thing. If I don't wake up, you know, at my

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scheduled time to wake up so I can have two hours in the

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morning alone before I have to wake my daughter up for school.

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I'm not a good mom, like I'm, I'm more reactive, and I'm not

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as patient. And so like, that's crucial for me to be able to

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show up and to love her. So I just want to point that out.

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Because I want you to make sure that you know, you know, yeah,

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that's

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Yeah, I agree with you. 100%. And, um, you know, it's funny,

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because my daughter, it's like, she knows, it's like, I'm not I

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don't snap at her anymore. I don't get angry anymore. I mean,

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yeah, sure, I get disappointed and things that happen. But I'm

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not like that angry. Father. And you know, that's not like,

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that's not me. Anyway, I'm not like an angry person. But it

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was, you know, stress levels so high and always working and

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never taken the time to decompress and take that time

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for ourselves for self care.

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It just put me in a bad place to where I was not. In my I mean,

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my biggest goal, through all of this was to be a good father

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first, you know, to my daughter, because I didn't have the best

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father. You know, one thing that I don't tell a lot of people,

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I'll tell everybody on here is that one of the things that

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happened when I came back through that cycle of you know,

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going off to the camps after I got the book and the dream and

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everything, and I came back, I spent like a week with my

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parents. And my dad was like, really like having struggles

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then mentally ill. And at one point, I woke up one morning,

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like, do this blood curdling scream. And my father, like hid,

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was threatening was trying to kill my mother. And was it gonna

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kill her with a hammer and then was gonna kill me and kill the

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cat. He had it all planned out. And it was all from his mental,

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you know, problems. But, um, so that was a big thing for me was

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like, Okay, one thing about that you can look at it in a way

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like, Oh, my gosh, that's horrible in this and then, you

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know, then he, he went on and passed away and died and sort of

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disconnected from the rest of us. But it brought me and my mom

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to a place that we had never been before really connected. I

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mean, so can I've got a tattoo of her on my portrait on my arm.

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And people always say, Oh, that's so nice. And I'm like,

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She's not dead. It's okay. You can talk about her. She's still

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alive. I just did it for her to it. Because what good is it

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after the fact you know, it makes you can't see it, then?

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Well, she might be able to but

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but it you know, you could look at that part of my life as being

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something that was just a horrible thing that happened to

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me, but I look at it as almost a gift because it brought me and

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my mother together. And it also, it almost flipped a switch in me

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to where I went from being almost this person that wasn't

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living responsibly, what and, you know, just to a totally

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different person. And it also helped me once I became a

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father, to say, Okay, this is the one thing I can say for him

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as it you know, and it's sort of funny, because he was a good

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father and a lot of ways but very emotionally unattached. And

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then all that stuff that happened was all mental illness.

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You know, it wasn't him as a person. But, you know, it sort

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of laid the groundwork for me to sort of look at him and say,

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Okay, I'm not going to be that way. I'm not going to be the guy

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that works all the time, who comes home and is totally

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mentally detached, emotionally detached. I've got to be there

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for my daughter. So a lot of that self work was necessary to

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get to my authentic self so I could bring myself back because

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I had sort of, you know, while I was enjoying work and doing that

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work, it was pulling me away from the Father I want it to be

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and taking me away from my authentic self.

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Yeah, wow.

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I mean, listening to that it kind of blows my mind because I

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had my story is very similar with that. And you know, I grew

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up with a dad who's very smart. And you know, a good father, you

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know, quote unquote, a good father, but again, has some

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stuff going on that makes it so that he can't connect on an

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emotional level and drinking problems and all that good

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stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, I came from it, you know, I grew

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up, I didn't need anything I didn't want for anything. So I

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mean, a lot of ways he provided. But and then I also have to look

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at where he came from the situation that he came from, was

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really bad. So I, you know, at one point this year, actually, I

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finally, during this six months of contemplation and getting to

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my authentic self, actually, and I heard Russell Brunson say this

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of all that all things you ever hear like a marketing guru? say

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he was talking about forgiveness.

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And the one thing you have to do if you're going to be successful

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in life, or in business does you have to learn to forgive. And he

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was talking about so I mean, I actually went out and I didn't

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force myself, but actually, for the first time ever, sat

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meditated on it, let it sort of my mind get quiet, and then

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tried to focus on him as much as possible and did forgave them.

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And then then I made the realization that Wait a minute,

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you said, forgiven the most important person and that's

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yourself. Then I had to forgive myself. And then once I did

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that, everything was great.

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The thing was forgiveness, at least what I've noticed is, it's

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a process like, it takes some time, you will do some you'll do

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something, you'll feel like, Okay, this is great. Things will

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start rolling in a positive direction, and then something

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might come up again later, and you're like, Oh, wait, I haven't

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totally dove all the way in yet.

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Kinda like chipping away at it as, as it comes. At least I

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don't know if that's something you've noticed in your life, but

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it's definitely it's probably, yeah, it's I thought it was

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funny. It's funny, you bring that up, and you're spot on,

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because I remember when I did it, it's like, okay, that's

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done. That's like, celebrating Oh, and I have to worry about

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that again. And then all of a sudden, you're right. I mean,

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like things would, like, you know, maybe it's the time of

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year maybe it's like something that your family used to do

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together. Maybe it's you know, something that reminds you of

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something, it's like all the sudden then it comes back you're

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like, Okay, you can feel that little bit of constraint and

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stress. And then you're like, Okay, maybe I do need to keep

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working on this. So yeah, unfortunately, it's not just a

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pill you can take once I don't think he done with it. I wish it

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I wish. Yeah, no, I recently actually had to deal with that

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as well. Because I've done a lot of work, um, you know, forgiving

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my family for everything during my childhood and just realizing

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what got them to that point to be in that space and and how it

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wasn't, you know, nothing was personal. It wasn't against me.

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But my I had my family here for Thanksgiving. And I felt

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something starting to come up again. And I realize, okay,

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there's still there's still more work to do. There's still more

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we got to do here. That's a big step, though. To actually have

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them there. I guess then. Yeah. Yeah. Good for you. Thank you.

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Um, so, how, like, so you do coaching. So I'm curious, how

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has mentorship played a role in your life? Do you have people

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that you are kind of lean on that you look up to and that

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way? I do, actually, um, I've Well, for one, my business

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partner, Pat, you know, we still go to lunch, at least once a

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month.

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And, you know, he I consider him a mentor, even though he may not

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really think of himself as a mentor. It's almost like

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mentorship by example.

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Because he is just such a, you know, a good person and I, you

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know, I see a lot on him what I want to make sure I am BM is

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very family first, you know, always giving, always serving no

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expectation. And we're talking about somebody who's

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if you saw him, you know, you'd see me looks like me doesn't

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have hair, but he's always like, he's always got like, you know,

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cargo pants and a T shirt and flip flops, he's going to yoga.

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And you know, just and the guy is I don't I don't know how much

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money he has, but he's got a lot, a lot of money. He's very

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wealthy, but his wealth comes more from his being the way he

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is then the actual money in his bank account. And it was just

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surprising to me actually, because I went and I've

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researched him first before I started working with

Speaker:

Just to see like all this stuff out there, like, Oh my gosh,

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this guy's got, he sold over a billion dollars worth of real

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estate. He was the number one real estate agent for Keller

Speaker:

Williams and REMAX both in the entire world. He retired when he

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was 46 years old. He's got like, 100 different streams of income

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coming in, and I'm thinking, Okay, who's this person I'm

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gonna meet? Am I gonna like this person? Because I started having

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all these feelings of like, you know, is he gonna be somebody

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who reminds me of my past, and I'm not gonna really enjoy this.

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And then I went and met him. And I was just like, wow, this guy

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is just so authentic and just giving and serving and caring

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and, you know, compassionate. And so I would consider him a

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mentor, definitely. And then, um, as far as other people I've

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learned from who I'm in a coaching program and Russell

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Bronson's coaching program. And some of these, my coaches, I

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don't know them as personally, as I do with Pat, so I wouldn't

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maybe consider them a personal mentor. But they like Russell

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Brunson himself one of the most authentic, caring nice guys out

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there. He's just somebody's family first. So I look at him.

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And I think that's why I'm so connected with that tribe,

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because I connected with him. And like I said, when I went to

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funnel hacking live, and I just felt that the, it was an

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entrepreneurship event. But it was not about money, it was

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about serving and contributing in impact. And I just fed off of

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that. So I would consider all you know, my coaches that are in

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that program definitely is coaches slash mentors, as well.

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But, um, but yeah, so I think it's important to have that, and

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I'll tell you what else is really important. For everybody

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that's watching this as an entrepreneur. It's a lonely,

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lonely job. It's a lonely, you know, profession, you know, we

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can sit here You and I, this is great when you connect. That's

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one reason that's great about having a podcast is you can

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connect. But you know, I spent so much time before I

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relaunched, but will before I launched my podcasts that I have

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now, because before I was just the strategy guy, I was the

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marketing guy behind the scenes. But I spent all that time and

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you're sort of in a, you know, a vacuum, you know, you're behind

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your computer, you're not communicating. Generally, like

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my friends that I grew up with, they don't understand this whole

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sort of world that I'm in now, because they're not doing it.

Speaker:

And you can get it can get lonely. So the people that are

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in this coaching group with me, once you get into that tribe,

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and you connect with the right ones, it really is good to have

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that support group. And the thing is, is that I think Well,

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I know that once you get in a group and are surrounded with

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that supportive, non judgmental community of people going

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through the same journey you're going through, that will

Speaker:

actually help you rise to your authentic self even farther than

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you thought you would, when you're doing it alone. So I

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think that's just as important as mentorship is having, you

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know, those, you know, brothers and sisters, that you've met

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this, going through this stuff with you that you can talk, like

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this morning, I have a, I have a friend that we get on the call

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every Wednesday morning, and at first there was a purpose behind

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it, you know, we were putting something together, we actually

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did podcast episodes together where we would, we would read a

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chapter in a book, not talk about it together, then jump on,

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set a timer for 10 minutes and just go at it, like what we got

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out of the chapter, and he would talk about it. And so it was

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cool to get the different perspective. But we found

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ourselves slowly like, Okay, this isn't really going

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anywhere. Business wise, so we just kept the calls going. And

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now it's just like, Hey, how are you doing? What are you up to,

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you know, what can I help you with? And, you know, we just

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talk to each other, because he knows what I'm going through.

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And I know what he's going through. So I think that

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connection is very, very important for entrepreneurs that

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are listening to this because it can get lonely if you don't have

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that, you know? Yeah, it really I mean, it really becomes like a

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segment family, at least through the different mentorship and

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coaching like group programs that I have been in. The people

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that I have met through those groups have become like you

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said, you know, my brothers and sisters like they are my family.

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They understand what I'm going through. It is very hard, it's

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very, it can be very long, especially when you're in that

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initial stage of leaving behind everything, all the conventional

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of what you have.

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Thought about the world and what you have thought you were

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capable of, and you're trying to break through into this new

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chapter, you kind of have to

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disconnect from anything that's not serving you at that moment.

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And sometimes people don't take that very well. Right.

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And it's and if you don't, I mean, if you, if they don't

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understand what you're going through, it's hard for them to

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empathize with you.

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So you need you need the people that know what you're going

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through, you know, that are going through that same journey

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people to celebrate victories with you. Which is another thing

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I would say is if you get if you're like me, whoever's

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listening to us, as entrepreneurs, you need to learn

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to celebrate the smallest victories remind yourself, you

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know, like, yesterday, last night, I didn't want to do it, I

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was tired. But I knew I needed to get this podcast episode,

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finished and ready to publish on Thursday. And I did it. And I

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went to bed. And I was like, Okay, I'm actually sort of proud

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of myself, because I, you know, I was like, I was about ready to

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just close my computer and stop. And I was like, that's not a big

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deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's like, you know,

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you have to remember to celebrate those victories. And

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like that one thing I learned the morning I had, I keep a

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whiteboard over here. And I'm my morning routine. Actually, I

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used to just get up and do the morning routine. But then I

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started writing down by everything I do in the morning.

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So I had like an A meditate, gratitude, hydrate, exercise.

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And after I did each one, I got my little

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What do you call it a little marker. And I checked, put a

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green checkmark next to it.

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I'm like, why am I why is that such a big deal. I do them every

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morning. But you know what, sometimes you get so caught up,

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in like, all of a sudden, when you do pick up your phone and

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you do start answering messages, you do get caught up into that

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reactive world, that sometimes you can get carried away and you

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feel like I didn't accomplish anything today, you can look

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over and go, Oh, I got checkmarks next to all of my

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morning routines. So that's a victory. You know, I love that

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sometimes I do the same, I get the same thing, I do the same

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exact thing. Sometimes even if I'm having kind of like a little

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bit more of a down day, I'm not feeling very good about myself,

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I will make a list of all of the things that I've already done,

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whether that be like make my bed, I fed my child breakfast,

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like it could be like the most mundane, simple thing. And I

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will write it all down. And I will put a green check mark next

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to it just the same as what you're saying. Because it

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triggers me to be like, Oh, look, I have accomplished things

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like, exactly. Maybe I haven't, you know, done a TED talk today.

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But I've done all of these things. Yeah, that's like the,

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you know, it's funny, because Carla, the lady that created

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that gratitude app, she talks about, you know, gratitude, and

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a lot of people she's like, the thing that people get wrong

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about gratitude is they feel like it has to be some grand,

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amazing things. She's like, just get up and you know, it could be

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like, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm grateful for the fact that, you

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know, call Chris morning, or I'm grateful for the fact that, you

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know, I got up and I had the coffee tasted good. She's like,

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just it's the act of actually just doing it. So even though,

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you know, we may think it's inconsequential to put a

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checkmark next to Oh, I drink my water this morning. It's still,

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it's something to celebrate. It's something that puts you in

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that higher frequency where you're you're accomplishing

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something, because a lot of times you'll feel like you might

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get to the end of the day, and just like, Oh, I didn't get

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anything done today. And you have to have those small

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victories to feel better about your day.

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I completely agree. And oh, my goodness, like we could talk for

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hours. This is the same thing that happened when I was on your

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podcast, right?

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Um, but I do like to keep these I try to keep them at least

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under an hour. So if there's like a final thought that you

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would like to leave with people today, what what would that be?

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Well, I like to always get back to, you know, well, a couple

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things. But, you know, being focused on your authentic self,

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don't be afraid to be yourself. And to, you know, step through

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when you start to feel constraint or push back from

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yourself, just step through it, knowing that there's greater

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things ahead. And when you if you are, you start to rise into

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your most authentic self, that gives you the opportunity to

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really start transforming other's lives, which is what we

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all want to do, but you can't do

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Until you focus on yourself first. So like you said, you

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know, it's not being selfish. It's just self care, take care

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of yourself get into that authentic zone, then this i

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