Transcripts
A huge shift can happen in
our lives when we just pay
Speaker:attention to that intuition and that
internal sense within us that says,
Speaker:I think it's time. And in order
to meet it when it arrives,
Speaker:you need to have that space within you.
Speaker:Hello and welcome back to
Remember Why You Are Here,
Speaker:a podcast for seekers and sensitives
where you can relax, receive,
Speaker:reconnect your own self, and remember
the most important thing of all:
Speaker:why you're here. I'm Asia Suler, author,
Speaker:earth intuitive teacher and
former owner of One Willow
Speaker:Apothecaries. And in this episode today,
Speaker:I'm going to talk about something that
is super personal for me right now and is
Speaker:really, really dear to my heart,
Speaker:and it is this concept of moving on
Speaker:from something because it no longer
fits, or moving on from something,
Speaker:not because it's wrong or bad or toxic,
Speaker:but just because it's time to let go.
Speaker:The reason why this is so
personal for me right now,
Speaker:and I feel so passionate about it,
Speaker:is that this is my
official announcement that
Speaker:I will not be restarting my
apothecary-at least at this
Speaker:point in time.
Speaker:So just a little bit of backstory -
and this is why I said I was the former
Speaker:owner or founder of One
Willow Apothecaries:
Speaker:so if you're new to me or this
Speaker:podcast,
Speaker:then you might not know that for 12
years I had an apothecary called One
Speaker:Willow Apothecaries, and this was a huge
part of my life path and my journey.
Speaker:This is how my entrepreneurial journey
started. It's how my business started.
Speaker:I used to be called One Willow
Apothecaries as my business.
Speaker:And it really began - once
I graduated herbal school,
Speaker:I had a very strong directive to
start this herbal apothecary - and
Speaker:so it began with tincture
formulas and it began
Speaker:with tea blends and
smoking blends and salves.
Speaker:And I had this beautiful array of things.
Speaker:And I started doing flower essences
right from the beginning too.
Speaker:And the apothecary really
evolved with me over time.
Speaker:So again,
Speaker:I started with this big
product line and then over time
Speaker:I realized what I was most passionate
about was really these more
Speaker:vibrational formulas.
Speaker:And so then I had stone and
flower essence pairing formulas,
Speaker:and eventually I just had
my flower essence line -
which I really expanded out.
Speaker:And I had flower essences
that corresponded with my
classes and the things that
Speaker:I taught.
Speaker:And it was just this really
beautiful operation and
Speaker:endeavor and just such a huge,
heartfelt part of my journey.
Speaker:And about 10 years ago,
Speaker:I actually opened my apothecary
in a physical location on a place
Speaker:called Marshall High Studios in
Marshall, North Carolina where I live.
Speaker:So I had the apothecary in this place,
Speaker:which was the old high
school here in the county.
Speaker:And it was just such a
delightful chapter of my life.
Speaker:This is where I started seeing clients.
Speaker:This is where I first started
teaching in-person classes,
Speaker:and it housed the apothecary as well.
Speaker:So this is where I welcomed in my first
apprentices and eventually my first
Speaker:employees, and we shipped
medicine around the world.
Speaker:It was just incredibly
special in a way that I
Speaker:will prize and cherish forever. And,
Speaker:I remember thinking to myself,
Speaker:I don't know what could ever
convince me to give this up,
Speaker:even though from where I am now,
Speaker:this wouldn't necessarily be an endeavor
I would start at this point in my life.
Speaker:But the fact that I had it, had built it,
Speaker:that had meant so much to me over the
years - that now we were sharing flower
Speaker:essences with people all over
the world -I remember thinking,
Speaker:I don't know what could ever
convince me to give this up.
Speaker:And then last fall,
Speaker:hurricane Helene hit us
here in the mountains.
Speaker:And if you haven't been along
for the ride here at all,
Speaker:this might be news to you. And
if you have, then bear with me:
Speaker:you know this story.
Speaker:But Hurricane Helene came in
and we had massive flooding in
Speaker:the town where I live and the
town where my apothecary was.
Speaker:People are calling it
a thousand year flood.
Speaker:I've heard some other people say
it's more like a 30,000 year flood.
Speaker:B,ut the waters rose and
it rose to about nine
Speaker:feet inside of my apothecary.
Speaker:And so suddenly, overnight,
Speaker:the apothecary and everything I had
built there in the last 12 years was just
Speaker:gone.
Speaker:And at the time I thought, okay,
Speaker:well maybe I can rescue
some of these medicines.
Speaker:Maybe I could resurrect this.
Speaker:But I realized once I oriented to
just the reality of a kind of flood
Speaker:like that,
Speaker:where literally everything is
taken down and buried in toxic
Speaker:muck,
Speaker:that you don't really rescue
anything from that unless
Speaker:it's something like a stone or something
that can be washed in that way.
Speaker:And so I realized pretty
quickly that everything that was
Speaker:physically there was done.
Speaker:And I had this moment of really
sitting with the question of,
Speaker:do I start again? Do I start over?
Speaker:Do I start One Willow Apothecaries
over? And at this point,
Speaker:One Willow has made so many
connections with so many people in
Speaker:all the far flung corners of the globe.
And yet, when I really sat with it,
Speaker:what came to me, the answer
that came to me, was No.
Speaker:And it's something that I've just
been holding very preciously to my
Speaker:heart since this event last fall.
Speaker:And something now I really
Speaker:feel passionate about speaking
to and talking about. And yes,
Speaker:making this very public announcement that
I will not be starting the apothecary
Speaker:again. At least that's
what I'm feeling right now,
Speaker:and that's what I'm moving forward with.
Speaker:And I know a lot of people
have asked me about it.
Speaker:And so this is my first
time saying this in a public
Speaker:way. And I want to talk about why,
Speaker:because I think that this
is such an important update,
Speaker:not just for me - obviously this is
a huge moment in my life -but for
Speaker:anyone who is at a really big
crossroads in their life right
Speaker:now. Because there's this thing where we
Speaker:often think in order to let something go,
Speaker:it has to be in some way
bad or toxic or really
Speaker:draining for us,
Speaker:when actually there's this really profound
update where it doesn't have to be
Speaker:wrong in order for it to be done.
Speaker:And I know you've probably felt
this at some point in your life too.
Speaker:And that is what this episode is about:
Speaker:what to do when it no longer fits.
Speaker:And why I use this phrase is because
I like to think about this in terms of
Speaker:the clothes in our closet.
Speaker:So you might have a piece of clothing
that you absolutely loved for a chapter of
Speaker:your life. You wore every single day.
People knew, ah, that's Asia's outfit;
Speaker:that's her signature
look. And you prized it,
Speaker:you cherished it. And yet
you go to your closet,
Speaker:you get invited to a clothing swap,
whatever you're doing, a spring cleaning,
Speaker:you go to your closet and you try it
on and it just doesn't fit anymore.
Speaker:And this might be that very physically,
Speaker:literally that you cannot get that piece
of clothing on over your body anymore.
Speaker:Or it might just mean that you put it
on and you look in the mirror and you're
Speaker:like, interesting.
Speaker:This just doesn't fit me
in the way it used to.
Speaker:It doesn't fit my essence,
my energy, my personality,
Speaker:where I'm moving in life.
Speaker:And what I have found is that we often
Speaker:wait for things to get to
the point where they are so
Speaker:draining, so dramatic,
Speaker:so toxic before we make big
changes and let big things
Speaker:go... And it's a really powerful update to
Speaker:decide to let something go out of
Speaker:love and deep respect for
that chapter of your life,
Speaker:to let something go, not because
it's wrong, but because you're ready.
Speaker:And the way I think about it too,
Speaker:with this metaphor of our
literal clothes in our closet,
Speaker:is, I have a small closet space,
Speaker:and if this piece is taking up
space in my closet - even if I
Speaker:still love it,
Speaker:even if I think maybe I might want to
wear it again from time to time in the
Speaker:future, or, I don't know,
Speaker:maybe I'll just keep it just in case -
that is taking the space of something
Speaker:that I would love now, that
would really fit me now,
Speaker:that would giving me energy for
the next part of my evolution.
Speaker:And I think that term
evolution here is important,
Speaker:and it's really sparking this
awareness for me that one way that we
Speaker:know that we are evolving in life,
Speaker:is that we are able to make
decisions to directionally
Speaker:guide ourselves without it
having to get to the point
Speaker:where it is totally untenable,
Speaker:where we are navigating the waters of
our life and choosing new paths based
Speaker:on the subtle inner directives
that are speaking to
Speaker:us and that are guiding us;
Speaker:we are able to tune into this more
subtle stream of our intuition and
Speaker:take that leap to trust it.
Speaker:I think this is a huge
sign of our evolution,
Speaker:and I have noticed that
our intuition will speak
Speaker:in louder and louder tones
until the message is received,
Speaker:which feels very annoying sometimes,
Speaker:but is also such a blessing because -
and I know I've said this before - but
Speaker:because the message we
need will never stop being
Speaker:sent. It's a blessing.
Speaker:And so the same is true with intuition.
Speaker:Our intuition will send us messages
of how to move, when to move,
Speaker:what our next direction is,
Speaker:and it will be subtle and subtle
and subtle until it's not.
Speaker:So here's an example of intuition getting
louder and louder until you listen.
Speaker:And it's an example from my own life,
Speaker:probably from back in the day
when I started the apothecary,
Speaker:and it's one I use often because I...
Speaker:it is just so gloriously obvious.
Speaker:So I was once camping with some friends,
Speaker:and this was right when I had first
moved down here to the mountains and I'd
Speaker:fallen in love with this place
and had learned skills like how to
Speaker:camp and how to tend a fire.
Speaker:And we were camping and I was
the fire tender for the night,
Speaker:and I felt really important.
Speaker:These were friends from back
up north who were visiting me.
Speaker:And I was tending the fire and it
Speaker:was the end of the night,
and I remember thinking,
Speaker:as I stood up to get the hatchet,
to cut a little more firewood,
Speaker:I remember thinking to myself - there
was this subtle wave that came over me
Speaker:and thought - I don't think we
need anymore. I think we're good.
Speaker:I think that we're done. We can let
this flow out. And I didn't listen.
Speaker:And I remember I went to go pick up the
hatchet and it had gotten the handle of
Speaker:the hatchet had gotten pushed
close enough to the fire,
Speaker:to the embers that it was starting
to get charred on one end,
Speaker:and I picked it up and dropped
it immediately, like ow,
Speaker:because it had gotten
charred in that one spot.
Speaker:So the message got a little
louder, right? Did I listen?
Speaker:Unfortunately not because
I was still learning.
Speaker:So I put out the charred bit,
Speaker:and then I went to go chop what was
going to be the last piece of wood on the
Speaker:fire, and I slipped and I ended
up hitting myself with a blade.
Speaker:And I am fine. It turned
out completely fine.
Speaker:It was a very painful injury,
Speaker:but all told I was okay.
Speaker:But it took that... to that point
for me to listen to my intuition.
Speaker:And my intuition also that was
helping me orient to like, Hey,
Speaker:you don't need to prove anything
here, you know; just have fun.
Speaker:And so this is one example,
Speaker:and I like to use it because
it's a little bit humorous,
Speaker:but this is what happens in
our lives often, that we ignore
Speaker:the subtle pieces inside of ourself,
the subtle messages that say,
Speaker:I think it might be time to move on,
or I think it might be time to let go.
Speaker:We ignore that. And so the message has
to get louder and louder and louder.
Speaker:But a huge shift can happen
in our lives when we just pay
Speaker:attention to that intuition and that
internal sense within us that says,
Speaker:I think it's time.
Speaker:And even though this event of this
hurricane was so dramatic in our
Speaker:mountains,
Speaker:there's this way in which me choosing to
not restart the apothecary still feels
Speaker:like a very subtle choice.
Speaker:And the call still feels subtle in
that I had never gotten to that point
Speaker:with the apothecary where I felt like,
oh, this is untenable. Or like, oh,
Speaker:I don't want this anymore, or this
is draining me. Not at all, right?
Speaker:It was still something I loved.
Speaker:And yet in the aftermath
of this experience,
Speaker:every time I kept reaching
for this sense of the
Speaker:blueprint of the future,
of the way forward,
Speaker:the apothecary wasn't a part of it.
Speaker:And so it's been this very beautiful,
Speaker:and at times emotional,
experience of letting go.
Speaker:But here's the thing that I
find to be so powerful about
this:if we can learn how to navigate our lives based on
this:those subtle messages,
this:if we can learn to let go of what
no longer fits before it becomes
this:something that is harmful for us,
this:we start to create this life that is
built on this foundation, this legacy,
this:of a kind of spiritual elegance,
this:this elegance of really
trusting what we know,
this:trusting the subtle
hints of where to move.
this:And that elegance I find just seems
to spread out into everything else
this:in your life,
this:and to support you as you move into
the next era of your incarnation.
this:This is not about whether something
is beautiful or good in your life.
this:Something can be beautiful and
good and still no longer be attuned
this:to where you're at and most importantly,
this:where your spirit is asking you to go.
this:So how do you know when
it's time to move on?
this:And
this:I say this at the same time that I
recognize that I had a very clear
this:event that was giving me this choice point
- there's been other choice points in
this:my life that were not
nearly as clear -but the
this:signs are always there.
this:So how do you know when it's
time for you to move on from
this:something? Well,
this:the first thing to attune
to is no longer feeling that
this:sense of movement forward.
this:Think about something in your life that
you were really excited about when you
this:started. And perhaps for this exercise,
this:use something that you've already closed
the chapter on - not something that
this:you're still sort of influx about, but
something you've closed the chapter on.
this:Now, think back to when
you first began it.
this:Think back to that sense
of excitement, momentum,
this:movement forward. When we are meant to
be putting our energy into something,
this:we're going to feel that sense of
movement and energy moving us forward.
this:And when it's time for something
to draw to a close, that momentum,
this:that energy, is going
to start to slow down.
this:And specifically ,if you
don't feel that movement,
this:it also probably means you're not moved
by it anymore in the same way that you
this:used to be:
this:that it used to be this creative
force in your life that was moving you
this:was moving the dialhead
was moving your own
this:evolution and self-concept.
this:And when you don't feel that
movement anymore within that thing,
this:then it's time to let go.
this:We are meant to engage with
people and things that are
this:supporting us in our evolution,
this:that are helping us to get
to the next phase in our
this:evolution, to co-create with us where
we're at, at that moment in time.
this:And there's such a fallacy in our culture,
this:there's such an attachment to this idea,
this:that something is only
truly a success if it's
this:lifelong. So a business, for example,
this:a relationship... that
it's only successful if
this:it lasted forever.
this:And it's such a silly way
to think about success.
this:That's not my measure of success,
this:and I don't think it's the way
success is truly experienced on a
this:spiritual level on our planet.
this:Success means that you stepped in fully
this:and that you grew and evolved
through the experience,
this:that you grew and evolved as much as you
possibly could through that experience.
this:So much so that there's
almost not a charge
this:anymore around the idea of letting it go.
this:And if you're still in
process right now with this,
this:you might still feel a charge.
And that's totally okay.
this:But it's almost this sense
of the charge that was
this:connected to your learning within
this is starting to dissolve.
this:And I really think this goes
along with the concept too,
this:that we think the purpose
of life is happiness,
this:and it's not. The purpose
of life is aliveness.
this:It's to be alive. And so
this:while I found still so
much contentment and
this:happiness and joy through the apothecary,
this:was running the apothecary,
this:would rebuilding this huge
thing - something that would
take me a whole year at
this:least of my life to rebuild
- would that bring me
this:alive? And this is such an
important question, right?
this:Because it almost drains some
of the value judgment out of it:
this:that it's not about it being
good or bad or right or wrong,
this:it's just, is this the thing
that's going to bring me alive?
this:And in this way,
this:we can really navigate our life to
understand that we're not even being
this:asked to know exactly why we're
choosing the things we're choosing,
this:or how that's going to turn out,
this:we just need to trust that
sense of aliveness that is
this:pulling us forward, and that is
sometimes asking us to make choices.
this:And a really good question here that
can help you with this and help you make
this:one of those decisions is,
this:if no one knew or cared about this thing,
this:would you still do it? And this
can even apply to relationships.
this:If the person you're in relationship
with didn't care whether or not you
this:left that relationship,
would you still be in it?
this:And this can be a really
fascinating way to reframe it.
this:And so I think about
this with the apothecary,
this:and I still love making flower
essences and taking flower
this:essences and being able to give
flower essences to my friends.
this:But if I really asked myself,
this:if no one knew or cared
whether I stepped back into
this:production,
this:which is what having a brick and mortar,
this:physical goods business is - it's
a lot about production - would I
this:produce again? And that answer was no.
this:And so I'm curious,
this:as you're listening and as maybe
scenarios or connections or
this:endeavors, projects, people, are coming
up in your mind, to ask yourself,
this:if the outcome was going
to be fine either way,
this:if people were not attached
to this, what would I decide?
this:And that can be a really good indicator
of where your heart is leading you right
this:now. Another sign that you have
outgrown something in your life,
this:another one of these subtle signs is
that there's a slight discomfort to
this:it.
this:And it reminds me again of putting
on that piece of clothing that you've
this:outgrown. It's not bad. You're
not like, I hate this thing,
this:or This is so itchy, I'm going to jump
out of my skin. But it's just like,
this:there's something slightly
uncomfortable about it.
this:Maybe it's like rubbing your body
in a way that doesn't feel great,
this:or you look in the mirror and it's just
something about the way that piece of
this:clothing is cut just
doesn't match your style,
this:doesn't match your identity.
this:And this can be really helpful if you are
this:in the practice of tuning into
your body, tuning into your soma,
this:tuning into and tracking how
you're feeling in your body...
this:Because often when something is not right
this:anymore - I keep thinking about that
Whitney Houston line, "It's not right,
this:but it's okay" - if
it's not right anymore,
this:there's going to be this slight
sense of incongruency and
this:discomfort. And that is an
important thing to tune into.
this:Because what's uncomfortable
about it is that it's not
this:matching you in the person
that you are growing into now.
this:It is not matching you in your
this:unfurling, the deepest unfurling
of who you are right now.
this:It's not a resonance anymore.
this:And that's why there's a
slight discomfort. You know,
this:if we are taking on and internalizing
this:any pieces that are not us,
this:our bodies and spirits are going
to have a reaction to that.
this:So it may not be something as dramatic
as a flu where your body's spiking a high
this:fever and saying, oh, this
is not me! Get it out.
this:That's not the kind of
drama we're talking about.
this:We're talking about the kind of discomfort
of feeling like something's just a
this:little too tight, something's
a little too loose,
this:something's a little too scratchy.
this:And so really noticing and
tracking inside of your body,
this:how do I feel not just
inside this thing right
this:now,
this:but how do I feel about the
idea of continuing to be
this:in this project, connection, relationship,
this:basically having this chapter continue,
this:or in my case really
expending the profound
this:energy that it would take to restart and
this:rework this chapter of my
life. And then finally,
this:the last sort of hint that
something might be done in your
this:life,
this:that you're ready to move on
is just the sense of the river
this:flowing in a new direction.
this:And this is logistically
very literally true,
this:that when we are meant to move
towards something in our life,
this:there will be an energy
flow that is already
this:starting;
this:I almost get the sense of like - and
the visual I have - is it's flowing from
this:behind us, through us, into the future.
this:And there is a distinct energy
flow that is here to guide us,
this:leading into, what we're
meant to step into next.
this:And so a lot of this ability to attune
to the subtle, your subtle No's,
this:these subtle decisions,
this:is being able to recognize
when the river is just
this:flowing in another
direction. And I remember,
this:this is something I said to a
sweetie of mine when I was ending our
this:relationship, ending that incarnation
of our relationship, is I said,
this:"It's not like anything is wrong or bad.
this:I can just sense the river is flowing,
this:and the longer I resist the current,
this:the more tired and the more drained
I feel." And so that's also an
this:indicator, right? When
you resist to the current,
this:you will slowly get more and more tired,
this:and feel more and more drained.
this:And so sometimes it's
just about letting go into
this:that current of energy that is ready
to move you into the new place.
this:And that can be scary because sometimes
we really don't know what that looks
this:like. We really do not know what
that next chapter is going to entail.
this:But you can feel the sense
of the river flowing.
this:And you know, through tuning
into your inner awareness,
this:that the river is not flowing in the
this:direction of that which you are
still holding onto right now.
this:And I want you to know that it's okay
to have a lot of complicated set of
this:feelings around this.
this:It might not just be letting go into
the river and experiencing bliss;
this:likely you will experience grief.
this:There is a real grief in letting go of
something that's been a really beautiful
this:part of our life, even when it's
time for it to return to the earth.
this:And so know that it's okay if there's
a complicated mix of feelings come up,
this:and, also, underneath all those feelings,
this:you will probably notice
a sense of relief:
this:that letting go feels like a sense of
this:relief,
this:of being carried by this current into
whatever it is that's supposed to
this:come next.
this:We don't expect flowers to bloom forever.
this:I don't expect the poppies blooming
in my garden right now to even be the
this:same or be there tomorrow.
this:And yet I don't think they're any
less important or worthy because of
this:that. And the same is true for these
chapters in our lives; flowers,
this:when they're complete,
this:when they've given the gift that
they're meant to bring to this world,
this:when they get pollinated
and they create seeds,
this:the way that they bring those seeds
back to the earth is by letting go,
this:letting the flower go so that the
seeds can come forth and plant a new
this:era.
this:And I really like this visual of literally
this:letting go of a flower. It's
like you loved that flower,
this:that flower was so important
to you, it was so beautiful,
this:and there can be a ritual here
in letting go. So I'm curious,
this:what is coming up for you as
you're listening to this podcast?
this:What people or situations or projects or
this:endeavors, what places where you
putting your energy, came to mind?
this:As I've been talking, we always know,
this:a part of us always knows
what is complete and what is
this:ready to see this ritual
of completion take place.
this:So I'm curious; what is
coming up? Really notice this,
this:because that is a message for
you. You already know this,
this:and this is just making it
that much clearer for you.
this:And the reason why that situation,
endeavor, person, project,
this:came up,
this:is because it is taking a space
in your life that is ready to be
this:used for something else,
this:that is ready to help propel
you into your next phase
this:and your next evolution.
this:So I knew that I had big
dreams for this year of
this:2025.
this:I knew this way back in 2024.
this:And when this event happened,
this:and I really took stock of what
it would mean, what it would take,
this:to restart the apothecary - basically
build this again from the ground up - I
this:realized that if I did that,
this:I wouldn't be able to
step into the next dreams.
this:I wouldn't have the energy to start
the podcast I wanted to start.
this:I wouldn't have the time and the
spaciousness to start the new
this:school I wanted to create,
Earth Angel School.
this:And I wouldn't have the momentum
this:or the creative space
to work on my next book,
this:which is my next project this year.
this:And so in that way of thinking,
this:when I realized that even
though I loved this thing,
this:when I realized that it would
take the energetic place,
this:and the literal physical
place, of my time and energy,
this:of these other things that I wanted
to do, the decision was clear.
this:And so to know this too,
this:that if something is coming to you and
is feeling like it's ready to be done,
this:it's ready to be released and
let go - not because it's bad or
this:terrible,
this:but just because it doesn't fit
anymore - then know that that's
this:because your spirit is
saying there's space for
this:something else that's coming, and
that something else is coming.
this:That sense of its arrival is
part of what is moving you and
this:initiating you to even think about this,
to even want to make this decision.
this:And in order to meet it when it arrives,
this:you need to have that space within you.
this:So know that it's actually not
just about letting something go,
this:it's about creating the
space for the newness,
this:for the next chapter, your
next evolution to come in.
this:So I really encourage you,
thinking again about these flowers,
this:I really encourage you, if something is
coming up for you as I've been talking,
this:as you've been listening today, really
pay attention. Take note of that.
this:And once you get clear on
whether or not it's the right
this:time for you to let go,
this:I really encourage you to create some
sort of ritual to mark the letting
this:go of this thing. And there's going to
be physical actions you have to take,
you know:conversations, you have to have,
you know:websites you need to take
down, whatever it is.
you know:There's going to be
those things, of course.
you know:But we always initiate these
things on an energetic level first.
you know:And having the ritualistic or the
energetic container can really hold you
you know:as you continue to make
this clarifying decision,
you know:and take the steps that you need
to create this space in your life.
you know:And I particularly love to work
with flowers in this kind of ritual.
you know:On the other side of losing the
apothecary in Hurricane Helene,
you know:it was a long process of cleanup,
you know:of literally having these
medicines go back to the earth.
you know:And once we were at a place where
things were a little more stable in the
you know:building and on the grounds,
you know:I went with my wonderful assistant
you know:Aleli,
you know:who's now the administrator of the schools
that I run and is behind the scenes
you know:doing all kinds of amazing
things in my business.
you know:She flew in and we did
a ritual on the island
you know:where the apothecary was,
you know:where she had worked for years
and years inside the apothecary.
you know:And we brought flowers
and we made a mandala
you know:right on the shoreline,
you know:where the water normally meets the island.
you know:And it was such a powerful movement to
you know:ritualistically let go.
you know:Because even sometimes when we
take those physical movements,
you know:a part of our energy is still connected.
you know:And so I really encourage you to design
some sort of ritual for yourself.
you know:Maybe you want to work with
flowers too, put them in the water,
you know:put the petals in the
water and watch them go.
you know:Or maybe something else is
going to be calling you.
you know:But design some sort of ritual that
is marking this change in your life,
you know:that is marking this transition that
you have chosen for yourself based
you know:on your subtle, intuitive knowing,
you know:based on this guidance at the heart
of you. So all of this is true:
you know:that you are ready to move on,
you know:that you're ready to embrace
the next beautiful chapter by
you know:letting go of this thing
that just no longer
you know:fits, and, as you're doing this,
you know:you might feel what I call the pang.
you know:The pang is that out-of-the-blue feeling,
you know:almost like a cramp around your heart,
you know:that comes with the grief of letting go.
you know:And the pang can take other forms
too. The pang can feel like worry.
you know:The pang can feel like fear.
you know:But the pang isn't a
sign that you're on the
you know:wrong path.
you know:It's actually just a natural part
of this process that you're in.
you know:We don't grieve things and people that we
you know:didn't love.
you know:And so grieving for something
being over is a sign
you know:that you loved it, that it was
an important part of your life.
you know:And so when the pang comes,
because it will come...
you know:just know that it will come
in waves. I still have pangs,
you know:even though I made this
decision now eight months ago,
you know:I still have pangs that come up from
time to time when I see a flower
you know:blooming,
you know:or I find one rogue essence bottle
I still have here at my house,
you know:I have a pang that
arrives where I think, oh,
you know:I miss this thing. And, I can
hold both at the same time:
you know:that I miss this thing because I miss
that chapter of my life and all the beauty
you know:it held. And at the same time,
you know:I hold the reality that that
whole chapter isn't gone.
you know:It's inside of me. It's
become integrated in who I am.
you know:And it's actually supporting me into
stepping into this next phase of my life,
you know:because of everything that I learned
about myself through that experience,
you know:through that chapter in my life.
you know:One way I love to work with this is
an exercise that I call breathing and
you know:feeling. And this is
literally just breathing in
you know:and on the exhale, naming that
feeling that you're feeling.
you know:This is also really helpful to
bring you into a interoceptive
you know:state, to really be paying
attention to your inner landscape.
you know:And oftentimes our emotions, they
just want to be felt. That's it.
you know:They're not asking for
anything else of us.
you know:They don't want you to go back into
the past or to change your mind,
you know:they just want to be felt.
And so you breathe in,
you know:and on the exhale, say out
loud whatever that feeling is;
you know:maybe it's sadness, maybe it's grief,
you know:maybe it's fear, maybe
it's worry. Whatever it is,
you know:just say it out loud and repeat
it for as many times as you
you know:need to. So do this exercise for
maybe 30 to 60 seconds, breathing in,
you know:breathing out, saying,
"grief, grief, grief,
you know:grief." And keep doing this for about,
you know:around that time, about a minute.
you know:And then notice if the
feeling has shifted at all.
you know:So maybe you notice again on the
next breath, you're like, "worry,
you know:worry... Now I'm feeling worry.
you know:And that's a little bit of a different
flavor than grief." And so you keep
you know:working with this. And normally I
do this for maybe three minutes.
you know:This is a short exercise. And I
notice that just for having named it,
you know:out loud, I feel so much
different at the end of it.
you know:And so this is a really beautiful way
to work with the emotions that come up,
you know:to feel them so they can be released.
you know:This is charge and energy that
just wants to be released.
you know:It's not asking you to do anything
different. It's just asking to be felt.
you know:And if this pang feels like it has
a really big presence in your life,
you know:or it keeps coming up,
you know:another way to work with
this is to ask that pang to
you know:speak.
you know:So you could even do the same exercise
where you breathe in and you breathe out
you know:and you're naming the emotion, and
then transition into breathing in,
you know:and as you breathe out,
speaking out loud as that pang.
you know:And so you might say something
like, I am afraid that...
you know:Or I'm sad that...
you know:And just let this pang inside of
you have a voice for a minute.
you know:It's okay to breathe in and
breathe out and say, I miss...
you know:Maybe part of you misses some aspect
of this, and that's fine. Say,
you know:I miss this. This is what I miss. This
is specifically what I miss about this.
you know:And once you feel like you've spoken
enough of these, you can ask that pang,
you know:come into conversation with that
feeling inside of you, and ask the pang,
you know:what is it that you need?
you know:Because oftentimes when the pang is
up, when we're feeling these feelings,
you know:when we're afraid or we're
grieving or we miss something,
you know:actually... there's an unmet need in
that moment. And it might just be,
you know:I need to be felt. I just need you to
feel me. That's all. Or it might be,
you know:I need a ritual to mark this ending of
this chapter and the beginning of another
you know:one. Or I miss being
you know:outside every week making
essences as these flowers are
you know:blooming. I miss this.
you know:Can we still do this even though
we're not bottling thousands of
you know:bottles, and sending them around the
world? And I can say to that pang, yes,
you know:yes, we can. I can also
say to that pang, Hey,
you know:we're not doing this
now, but never say never.
you know:It's possible we might do it again.
you know:And sometimes that can also
be very helpful for the pang,
you know:especially when we're talking about
things that we're letting go not because
you know:they're toxic, but because
they're just not right anymore.
you know:And then lastly,
you know:one way I love to work with that pang
when it comes out is to call in the
you know:tug to meet it.
you know:So these are the two forces that I see
at play when we are really being asked to
you know:let go of a chapter and
move on. On the one side,
you know:we have the tug. That is the
thing that we're moving towards,
you know:the momentum, the movement. And then
on the other side, we have the pang,
you know:a thing that is still
helping us process the past,
you know:helping us process what we're letting go.
you know:And so sometimes when I
have the pang come up,
you know:I'll ask for the presence of the tug.
you know:And this might look like a particular
thing - maybe it's a vision of where I
you know:want to be in the future.
you know:Maybe it's visualized as a being,
you know:a guide a color. Let
it be authentic to you.
you know:But really call in that tug,
you know:the thing that's moving you
forward, the exciting spaciousness,
you know:that possibility, and literally that
spaciousness can hold space for the pang.
you know:I know you're sad, and
I know you miss this,
you know:but look at and feel right now the
spaciousness that I actually have to hold
you know:you,
you know:that is grounded in my
excitement for and the energy and
you know:momentum that is building in
anticipation of this really bright
you know:new chapter in my life.
you know:Taking a moment to really sense all the
energy that's going to be on the other
you know:side of this decision can be so
helpful because ultimately that's why
you know:you're being called to make this change.
you know:And this is what we're asked
to do when it no longer fits:
you know:to let go so we can step into the
spaciousness of our own becoming.
you know:And the more you start to call
that feeling into your life now,
you know:the more you will be able to access
the clarity and the strength and the
you know:perspective that you need to make
the changes that you need to make,
you know:in order to really meet what is coming,
to meet what is waiting for you,
you know:to meet your own unfolding evolution.
you know:So you will evolve so many
times in this lifetime.
you know:You'll live so many
lifetimes inside of this
you know:lifetime. And so much can happen
when we let go of that tight
you know:grip of holding onto what was,
you know:if we allow ourselves to move
with the current of the river
you know:of what we're becoming,
you know:we then get to evolve in this way
to touch these unfolding aspects of
you know:ourself, to continually
surprise ourselves.
you know:So there was this quote that I wrote
on the chalkboard in the room of my
you know:apothecary,
you know:and I wrote this quote on the chalkboard
when I first moved in 10 years ago.
you know:And I thought to myself, oh, I'll
change this quote. I'll change it a lot.
you know:I'll change it however I'm feeling
that day. I never changed it, not once.
you know:And this quote by the Irish poet,
John O'Donohue went like this:
you know:"live like the river flows,
you know:carried by the surprise
of its own unfolding."
you know:I had no idea when I wrote that
quote on the wall of my apothecary,
you know:just how much it would mean to me.
you know:I had no idea how much
it would fortell the
you know:unfolding of my life. But I have
thought about it so many times since.
you know:As the waters came in and wiped
the slate of that chalkboard clear,
you know:I thought about how this is
the ultimate way for me to
you know:acknowledge the beauty and the life
force of this thing that I created,
you know:is to continue to live like a river,
you know:to be carried by the
surprise of my unfolding.
you know:And I invite you to step
into that river too,
you know:to let yourself be surprised
by your own unfolding,
you know:and to let yourself be carried
into this next phase of your
you know:life. So thank you so much
for being here, for listening,
you know:for being a part of this
new chapter in my life.
you know:The start of this podcast has been
such a profound new unfolding for
you know:me, and I'm just so honored
to be in this space with you.
you know:So thank you for being here
and know that I am here really
you know:rooting for you and for this change that
is happening in your life because you
know:you know when it's time,
know:and you know that so much is
waiting for you on the other side.
know:So if this is resonating with
you, I'd love to hear from you.
know:I have a voice message
mailbox over on my website at
know:asiasuler.com/remember.
know:And if this is striking a chord with you,
know:I'd love to hear the story of your
river and where it's carrying you.
know:And if this podcast is speaking to you,
know:if this feels like a supportive
place, a restful place,
know:then I would love it if you
gave this podcast a rating,
know:a thumbs up or a review.
know:These just mean so much to
me and they're energy that
know:carries me forward in my own
unfolding. So until next time,
know:may the river carry us all,
know:may we arrive on that other side intact,
know:connected, excited,
know:alive and back in touch with
know:the most important thing of all:
know:that remembrance of why we're here.
