Can five minutes of meditation really touch depression? It will not fix it and I would not pretend otherwise. But it changes what you do with the thought.
A friend on the spinal unit broke his neck shortly after I did. He was the positive one, but he talked about the past constantly, about the way things used to be. A couple of years after I came home I heard he had taken his life. I am not against medication. Sometimes the water is too muddy to see through at all. What meditation adds is the chance to ask whether the thought is even true.
One thing to try: Take one thought that has sat heavy today and ask a single question of it. Is that actually true?
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Thank you for listening.
Steven
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Welcome to a new episode of Stillness in the Storms. The podcast that helps you to find that inner peace
Steven Webb:when you need it most and you have it least. I'm Steven Webb, your host. And today I'm talking about
Steven Webb:those feelings of depression and what we can do with them. How we can turn them around. And how just
Steven Webb:five minute meditation twice a day can have a real profound effect on your life. And it doesn't have to
Steven Webb:be complicated. It really can be quite simple. And at the end of this podcast I will share with you...
Steven Webb:A five minute meditation that I have recorded especially for this task. So you'll get to download that at the
Steven Webb:end of this podcast. And just before I start talking about it, I want to just point out that what
Steven Webb:I'm talking about when I say depression, clinical depression. And if you've been diagnosed with clinical depression and you've seen
Steven Webb:the doctor about it and and I don't mean diagnosed yourself, I mean you've gone and got help and they've
Steven Webb:said you have clinical depression and you're under professional help for that, this may not be for you. I'm
Steven Webb:talking about more that when we're feeling fed up, when we have times in our life where things just aren't
Steven Webb:going to plan. I always feel depression is more like you're standing in the road and you get run over.
Steven Webb:And you stand up, you dust yourself off and you get run over again. And you don't know where to
Steven Webb:turn, you don't know what to do, and you don't know how to get out this hole that you're in.
Steven Webb:That's what I'm talking about. A feeling of really fed up.
Steven Webb:I want to start the story about a friend of mine on the spinal unit. He broke his neck shortly
Steven Webb:after I did, and he was on the other ward. The ward was split up into two wards. There was
Steven Webb:the Avon Ward and the Tamar Ward. I was on the Avon Ward with several other patients, and he was
Steven Webb:on the other one. And I got to know him a little bit. He was about the same age as
Steven Webb:me. He was a real happy-go-lucky person.
Steven Webb:And he gave me my first taste of... Getting really high. I remember we went down to the greenhouse one
Steven Webb:day and I don't know if you've ever heard of it. It's like some bottle and it's called a bong
Steven Webb:or something like that. I wasn't really into that kind of thing, but we did it in the greenhouse house
Steven Webb:on In the hospital. And I can remember for the next few hours all of my life was just in
Steven Webb:a weird time loop. I remember going into the lift and then coming out of the lift and I thought
Steven Webb:I'd been in the lift about four hours. Meanwhile, I thought I was only in there like just a few
Steven Webb:seconds. So yeah, that was all weird. He came in that weird experience in life. I'm glad he did it
Steven Webb:was It was an eye-opener. And it probably stopped me doing a lot more of that later on because it
Steven Webb:freaked me out to be quite honest. But the funny thing is he was always quite happy. He was always
Steven Webb:quite positive and... Enjoyed life. But he used to talk about the past a lot. He used to talk about
Steven Webb:the way things used to be, meaning in his life. He broke his neck the same as me he was
Steven Webb:His arms were paralysed. He could have slightly more movement in his arms, which meant he could push his chair
Steven Webb:easier than what I could. And he used to be able to push it around the spine unit a lot
Steven Webb:quicker than me. But he did not have his hands and he found life very difficult just like I do.
Steven Webb:But he would talk about constantly about what he used to do with his mates you know before breaking his
Steven Webb:neck. And his mates used to come around. They used to take him out and all that. But it was
Steven Webb:never the same, he would say. And he would talk about all the things he couldn't do. And that was
Steven Webb:his main focus on he just wasn't happy with the way things were. And, you know, that's
Steven Webb:understandable. You're able-bodied and suddenly you break your neck or you break your back. And you're paralysed. You can't do
Steven Webb:anything. Your life is totally changed. Not only that, you're in the prime of your, I was gonna say
Steven Webb:mating season, I guess, really. You're in the prime of your um courting and getting on with life
Steven Webb:and leaving college and getting drunk and doing all those things. And then you're struck down with breaking your neck
Steven Webb:and you're in hospital for 12 months. Shortly after I came home, after a couple of years, I heard that
Steven Webb:he took his life. He went out with his friends one night and they gave him a huge cocktail of
Steven Webb:drugs and they took him home and they put him to bed.
Steven Webb:Now then, I don't have first-hand experience with the story but that sounds about right and I have no reason
Steven Webb:to question it. And I guess really on the outside he was really happy. Go lucky. He seemed to have
Steven Webb:it all together. He was at the gym every day on the spine unit Everything looked like on the outside
Steven Webb:that he was ready for life. Always had a joke. He always had a smile and laugh on his face.
Steven Webb:I don't think I ever seen him without it. But the conversation was always in the past and he was
Steven Webb:joking about the past and joking about what he couldn't do. But I guess there was something deep down that
Steven Webb:he couldn't deal with. And he wasn't accepting. He wasn't letting things be what they were.
Steven Webb:And I cannot speak for him, but as a guest, he found it very hard to deal with. Very
Steven Webb:hard to cope with.
Steven Webb:And come to that decision. On the flip side, there's me
Steven Webb:um Did I talk about the past quite a bit? I don't know. But
Steven Webb:I was looking forward to the future I I wanted to get out of the hospital. I wanted to see
Steven Webb:what I could do with my life. Did I want a life paralysed? No, of course I didn't. Do I
Steven Webb:enjoy dropping things and not being able to pick them up? No. Do I enjoy carers not being able to
Steven Webb:make me toast properly? Hell no. Drives me insane
Steven Webb:you know how many different ways of making toast there is? Yeah. There's more ways of making toast than there
Steven Webb:is atoms in the universe. Really, believe me, trust me on that one. But I don't focus on
Steven Webb:the bad things. I don't focus on what's wrong in life. But sometimes I do go there. And when I
Steven Webb:lost my business and I lost the computer shop, I did get really depressed. I stopped eating. I went down
Steven Webb:to
Steven Webb:very, you know, I was under eight stone. I'm six foot tall, under eight stone. You could see every rib
Steven Webb:on me. I was telling people in the evening that I ate lunch. I was telling people at lunchtime that
Steven Webb:they ate in the morning in the evening. So nobody knew I wasn't eating. And when I was given a
Steven Webb:plate of food, I would feed it to my golden retriever dog. Just couldn't face food. I couldn't face... I
Steven Webb:didn't want to face life. But
Steven Webb:I was that down and fed up that I didn't have the will to go and do anything about it
Steven Webb:either. And
Steven Webb:that lasted for about seven or eight months. And during that time... I did take antidepressants prescribed by the doctor
Steven Webb:and I do think they help as long as they're subscribed properly and we take the right dose and we
Steven Webb:continue them until we're ready to come off them. I believe there is a place for that kind of help
Steven Webb:just to just to take the edge of it so we can think a little more clearly. You know, sometimes
Steven Webb:we get our glasses so full of the muddy water that we're not able to think clearly. And
Steven Webb:sometimes just lifting us out of that lowest level of feeling gives us the ability to carry on climbing. So
Steven Webb:they have their part when we're feeling really fed up.
Steven Webb:But the depression that I'm talking about is more so that
Steven Webb:we don't like life the way it is.
Steven Webb:We're fed up with things that are happening in the world. It might be in politics. It might be in
Steven Webb:the social side of things it could be what we might be fed up with facebook or fed up with
Steven Webb:Social media. Whatever we're fed up with, we might have a family that is just are full of narcissists that
Steven Webb:just don't listen to us and their opinion is best and we don't feel like we belong most of the
Steven Webb:time. Whatever the thing is, it's about life right in this present moment is not what we want it to
Steven Webb:be. And we often talk about I think about the past and the future. We go to this Place in
Steven Webb:the future that we want it to be. Or we go to this place in the past of where we
Steven Webb:want to be. You know, I just want it to be like it used to be. I just want to
Steven Webb:find a person like my first love. Or I want to go out on a night out like I did
Steven Webb:when I was 20. You know, we're wishing for those times now. I wish I was back at school. Not
Steven Webb:sure I do. I spent most of the time skiving in the toilet, I think. But that's that's a whole
Steven Webb:different story. Sorry, teachers, if you're listening my podcast but That's the reality. Nothing about your lessons.
Steven Webb:Just the toilet was more fun um
Steven Webb:Why am I even telling you? It's what it is. Let it go, people. Let it be
Steven Webb:and then And then the next time in my life that I really got depressed was when I ended up
Steven Webb:single. And it wasn't nothing to do with a breakup. It was because I had my whole life mapped out
Steven Webb:in front of me in my mind. And then I thought, well that's it. My life's over now. None of
Steven Webb:that's going to happen and I And then after that I set goals and I watched all these videos online
Steven Webb:and listened to podcasts and they all said, I'll set goals, set a date and you'll hit them. Well four
Steven Webb:years later and I've missed all my goals nearly one after the other. But
Steven Webb:I learned to accept things. It is what they are. You know? I don't try to change this present moment
Steven Webb:but How do we do that? How do we not change this present moment? Or, more importantly, how
Steven Webb:do we learn to accept the present moment without trying to drag the past to it or without wishing it
Steven Webb:was different? Well, meditation. Meditation and mindfulness. Hear me out on this. You
Steven Webb:may not meditate you You may think that you think too much. Therefore, you cannot meditate. And when you sit
Steven Webb:down to meditate, your thoughts come racing more than before. So it actually has the opposite effect. Although it feels
Steven Webb:like that, it is kind of like that, but this is exactly why we need to meditate.
Steven Webb:So how can meditation help you with depression? Or help you with the feelings of being fed up and depressed?
Steven Webb:Well, it gives you the ability to become aware of your thoughts. And when you become aware of your thoughts,
Steven Webb:you can do something with them or not.
Steven Webb:Now then you can have a thought that you're fed up and you're going to go and have a Chinese
Steven Webb:because it will pick you up.
Steven Webb:Well, normally you would just go and do it. Well, meditation will give you the ability to go, well, wait
Steven Webb:a minute. Is that really going to help me? And
Steven Webb:the other thing is when we have a thought, perhaps we're going through a breakup or perhaps we've got a
Steven Webb:boss that's on our back. We have a thought that the boss is deliberately picking on us or our partner
Steven Webb:know cheating or something like that. Meditation gives us the ability to question it and go but is it really
Steven Webb:true? Is
Steven Webb:it my opinion do I Do I have all the facts? And then when we start questioning our thoughts,
Steven Webb:we can then choose which ones to put weight on or not. It's much like I said in the last
Steven Webb:podcast about our subconscious mind is like training a puppy. We need to focus on what we want it to
Steven Webb:think. And your subconscious mind thinks that you just want to keep thinking what you normally think. So it keeps
Steven Webb:hitting you with that. But what if you can tell it, give it a score. Give
Steven Webb:it a score, say one to ten So every thought you have, give it a ten if you like that
Steven Webb:thought and give it a one if you don't like that thought. But also add an emotion to it. So
Steven Webb:if it's a ten feel really good with the thought. If it's a one don't feel anything. Not feel
Steven Webb:negative because the body stores negative thoughts as important. And rightly so you know you If
Steven Webb:something hurts you often enough, you need to remember that.
Steven Webb:But when meditation comes in, it gives you that ability to be aware of your thoughts and feelings. And
Steven Webb:we do it by, when we sit down to meditate, because I'm
Steven Webb:aware that some of you may meditate a lot, and I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about when,
Steven Webb:you know, you have the subject and the object. The subject is you. The object is your thoughts and feelings.
Steven Webb:But if you don't meditate and you think you cannot meditate, I want you to just try this. And I
Steven Webb:want you to be open-minded for just a few weeks. And just do this twice a day for five minutes.
Steven Webb:Just sit down. Take a few deep breaths. Become aware. For the first minute, just breathe in and breathe out.
Steven Webb:Become aware that you're breathing in and breathing out. Then after a minute, just go into observation mode. You're
Steven Webb:just observing. Any thoughts that come up, allow them to come up and go.
Steven Webb:Any feelings that come up, allow it to come and go. And if you find yourself going with the cloud
Steven Webb:or with the thought,
Steven Webb:just bring yourself back and say I'm on my breath and I'm going to wait for the next one.
Steven Webb:So if you find yourself getting on the thought, get off the thought and then wait for the next one.
Steven Webb:Don't get annoyed. Don't don't get like passive aggressive with it oh Yeah I wish these thoughts wouldn't come along
Steven Webb:or anything like that. Don't get anything like that. Just be with the thought. Be with whatever arises. And it
Steven Webb:builds up a neuro network, a neuro path in your mind that brings you back to the present moment. And
Steven Webb:the way it helps with you in your everyday life when you're not meditative is you
Steven Webb:have a feeling of being fed up or you're depressed or you have a thought that something's going on or
Steven Webb:your boss really is picking on you and singling you out. You can go, ah, there's a thought. And you
Steven Webb:can just allow that thought to go. And after over a long time, your subconscious mind will build up a
Steven Webb:bank of the kind of thoughts that you want and the kind thoughts you don't want. Over time, you'll stop
Steven Webb:having the feeling of depression quite so much. You'll go to more where you want to feel. And it stops
Steven Webb:you having this anger with the way things are at the moment, the way life is at the moment.
Steven Webb:I've recorded a five minute guided meditation to help you with this. And I put it on my Patreon page
Steven Webb:for my patron there's only four dollars a month to be a patron and you get extra guided meditations and
Steven Webb:you get extra things that I record and do to help you find a little inner peace um And I
Steven Webb:appreciate the patrons out there. And I answer your questions directly in the secret podcast. So you don't want to
Steven Webb:miss out. You don't want to miss out on the secret podcast that is all starting next month. So, until
Steven Webb:then, take care guys. Head over to my website and there's a link at the top to my Patreon site
Steven Webb:if you want that guided meditation.