Castles have long been known for its show of strength and resiliency against enemies that try to overtake them. What if we considered our bodies as castles? Are we doing a service (or a disservice) to those who only want peaceful passage? In today’s episode, we explore how to identify the various parts of our castle that showed up without your permission, and explore ways that you can overcome them, while at the same time, making them inviting places for others to make your castle stand stronger in the long run.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

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determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

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This is Speaking From The Heart.

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Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 135 of Speaking from the

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Heart, and I'm ready for you.

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I've had my castle guards on standby

this whole entire time, and I know

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that you're going to attack me.

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Just wait.

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I have a plan that I'm going to

execute on, and you're not going

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to know any of the details until

you actually do it, so just try me.

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Try doing it.

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Try doing what you really wanted to do

for all this time, because on today's

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episode, we're going to talk about the

unintentional castles that we build.

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I know.

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You never thought on a professional or

personal development podcast we'd be

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talking about castles, but I'm not just

talking about any sort of castle that

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might come to mind, whether that is

something that you found on fictional

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TV, or even found on some sort of

website which you were researching

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growing up, because I'm sure that each

time that you've looked something up

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like this, whether it was in books,

illustrations, or any other sort of

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material, you've always had a picture

of what a castle would look like,

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but I'm not talking about the castles

in which they're physical in nature.

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I'm talking about the castles that re

erect in our lives, and I love this

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concept because I learned about it

way back when I got my life coaching

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certification and the instructors

talked about this presence of a castle.

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It's what we build amongst each other.

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It's not only the things that we

are thinking about as the moats, the

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towers, the guards, the throne room,

even the treasure room for that matter.

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I am talking about the things that are

representations, or even illustrations

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for that matter, of all the things

that we put up as safeguards.

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Things that we often times don't

look at as not only the things

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in which we don't want to be,

but yet they're manifestations.

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Even the rooms that we might have in

our castle might be booby trapped.

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They might be full of traps.

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They might be full of guards ready to

attack you; situations in which you might

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have never thought what you would find in

a castle, let alone even the people, maybe

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even the paintings, even the furnishings

of the castle represent who we are.

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In every sense of the word, the

castles that we build are often the

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things that we represent in our lives.

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Castles for a long time have been

known for strength and resiliency.

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That's why you see many of them,

even in European countries that have

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lasted for centuries on end, but what

if we considered that the physical

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manifestations of those castles might

not be a good thing for even ourselves

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to think of them as a fictional or

emotional or mental type of castle?

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Maybe the guards that are defending a

certain type of event or memory that

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often triggers people with depression

or anxiety are oftentimes the things

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that we closely guard, while other

rooms we might be able to freely enter

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into; the closets in which they have

all kinds of different clothing, all

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kinds of different bedroom furnishings,

maybe even studies for that matter.

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Even this concept, which I've

learned through life coaching, has

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evolved into even some of the therapy

that I've done, working on myself,

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imagining what the room is around me.

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Many of my psychologists would know what

that technique is, and I would certainly

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leave it to you to explain to your clients

that might be interested in exploring

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what that might be because it's not meant

for everyone, but having a visualization,

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having that understanding of what's around

us, why we can't have peaceful passage

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through our castles, can be a gateway,

or window looking into that castle,

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if you will, of somebody that's either

doing really well, or doing really bad.

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How do you look at your castle and how

do you represent it towards other people?

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Well, it's simple.

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If the things that you're trying to cover

up all the time, whether it's some sort

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of addiction that you have, maybe it's

some sort of pain that you're hiding,

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or even other sort of issues that come

up throughout your life, might be stored

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away in some of the closets, maybe even

some of the locked rooms, maybe even

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dungeons for that matter, of your castle,

if they even exist, but even then, maybe

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the places that you allow people to fully

enter into, whether it's the happiest

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aspect of your life, might be something

that you really want to show off.

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It might be the throne room with the

encrusted diamonds on your crown, maybe

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it's even in the scepter that you're

holding, being the king of all kings

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being able to rule over their subjects,

but maybe it's even in the people that

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you're trying to work with; maybe they

are trying to find places in which they

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should exist, because those people,

they might be good people, but maybe

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they're slowly stealing things from

that castle that you never thought that

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could be stolen in the first place.

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I'm talking about not just the time

that you spend in a castle, but

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also the illustration of what you

think might be the most important

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things within that castle as well.

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Let's not even talk about the color!

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Is it a dark, despondent castle?

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Is it a very lighthearted castle, in

which it has many different elements

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that bring out the natural light

that is allowed to be entered into?

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Let's face it, we don't want to always

be exposed to the light, especially if

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we want to hide things in the darkness.

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Does it have features in which

you're trying to defend that castle?

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Maybe you have a moat that surrounds

it with a drawbridge that only allows

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certain people to come in and come out.

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Is your castle willing to have

people that come in, no matter

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what kind of background they have?

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Are there even some things that you're

afraid of people seeing, maybe even

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some of the individuals that you invite

as guests that you try to tuck away,

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whether you cover them with some sort

of rug, maybe even have a pitfall,

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if you will, into some of the other

areas of the castle that normally

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would dispose of an enemy very quickly?

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Let's even talk about the bedrooms.

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What do you have inside your

bed that maybe is not even

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something that you want to share?

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Each of the rooms in our castle

have a different way in which we

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look at the lens of our lives.

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Whether we invite those people in or

not is totally the question that we're

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asking today: what is it that you

build inside your castle, whether it's

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intentional or not, that you should be

working on, instead of trying to defend?

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I can't tell you how many times

that I have built my own castle

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just thinking that I was going to

do really well with just defending

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everything that I've ever gained.

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I thought that hard work, even working

on that castle for that matter, would

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make such a big difference in people's

perceptions when they came to visit.

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In other words, every time that I had

somebody over, whether it's in my office,

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whether it's in my apartment, whether it's

in some other place in which I know that

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I have to look pretty darn good, I always

worried about what other people saw of my

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castle, but even then, if I didn't care

about what my castle looked like, would

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you still invite others to come over?

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Would you even have that conversation

with someone if they're really wanting

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to work on their castle in the first

place, maybe even help to rebuild walls?

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Maybe even fill in that moat that you

have around it, with all the alligators.

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Maybe even reduce the number of guards

that are really defending what is

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on your heart, but oh yes, that's

what it really all draws down to.

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The ultimate question that

we've continued to ask on this

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podcast: What is on your heart?

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I think that we build castles because of

the things that we try to hide within our

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soul, within our hearts, within our minds,

and we try to use the castle as a defense

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mechanism, maybe even times try to use it

as an offensive weapon, trying to attack

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people that are trying to get into places

where they shouldn't be attacking; where

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they shouldn't be in the first place.

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How do we find peaceful passage,

let alone worrying about the

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permission that we give to people?

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How can we overcome that image of a

dark, dainty castle, and have it be

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an inviting place in which people

can stand stronger in the long run?

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It's not really that simple.

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Unlike other episodes in which I

feel like we have a simple solution

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to a complex problem, your castle is

developed in a lot of different ways.

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The personal, the professional, the

business, the public speaking, the

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resumes, the interview preparation,

all these different things that

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I even work on each have their

own different type of castle.

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That's even what I deal with clients,

making sure that we can get to the

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root of what is really happening; to

be able to understand what is truly

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going on in order to understand and work

through what you might be going through.

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No castle is unique, which is why you

see castles of all different shapes

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and sizes, and that's why you have so

many different types of rulers to even

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the most friendly of all individuals.

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Probably even the most

contemporary example would be

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looking at the British monarchy.

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Looking at the ways in which they conduct

business, and even if you have one opinion

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over another when it comes to what their

castle looks like, we are all entitled

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to the ways in which we manage our own

house; our own castle, if you will.

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Are we really doing a service or a

disservice when we are putting up

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all these walls, all these things

that we have going on, and not

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letting people come in and out?

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Well, I have to tell you, that for

some people, they never be able

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to get out of their own castles.

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They are stuck in the ways in which

they've always learned throughout most

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of their life, while other people, easily

enough, can break down those walls and

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create new rooms in which they're able

to situate themselves in, and feel

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comfortable about the progress and the

progression that they're entering into,

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regardless of what role that they play.

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I know that for some people, this is easy.

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For others, it's not.

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I love the fact that we can all have

different castles, and I respect the

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fact here on Speaking From The Heart,

that your castle might not look the

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same as mine, or even somebody else's

for that matter, and if we were all

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similar in terms of our castles, we

would not have the individuality, let

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alone the identity, that we represent.

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It's even the things that we

build that allow us to speculate

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and even make improvements on.

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That's why I even talk about learning

from other people and growing from those

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experiences, whether that is even reading

or through a podcast, or even some other

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area in which I've even challenged on

previous episodes, but even with people

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that show up unannounced to your castle,

and even then, when you're facing and

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eliminating some of the pitfalls, maybe

even some of the dungeons, maybe even

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some of the places that you normally

don't go to and you don't use anymore,

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it means that you have to invite yourself

to stand stronger; to be willing to

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learn and grow in the ways in which

you should be growing, but even then,

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knowing that your castle is ever evolving.

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The ever evolving that we've already

talked about on this show is just

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about learning more of who you are, and

understanding and believing that you have

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unlimited potential to develop anything

that you could ever develop in your life,

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just by not letting it stand in your way.

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That could be a castle in itself.

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That's why I even say that castles that

come in all shapes and sizes have to

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have by design something that might

be the reason why it was erected in

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the first place, so if you're not sure

why that castle stands in the way it

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does today because you unintentionally

built it, it might be time to examine

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if that castle is really needed.

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If you have had that problem with a

friend that you've been holding back

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for so long and you have kept them

in the dungeon, maybe it's time to

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go talk to them and release them from

the jail cell that they've been in.

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If you've had somebody that has really

hurt you, and you have not yet forgot

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about that situation and what they

have done to you, maybe, just maybe,

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they might be one of the guards that

have been silently watching you.

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It's time to walk up to them

and strike up a conversation.

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Maybe there are things in the kitchen.

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Maybe there are places

within your treasure room.

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Maybe there are other areas of your

life that might be missing that

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all important piece of the overall

puzzle; the block that is missing

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from the overall castle wall that

needs to be repaired once and for all.

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Castles can come not only in the

shapes and sizes that we have already

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mentioned, but they come in the ways

in which we want to address those ever

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deteriorating situations that might

be happening, and even if those things

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are not deteriorating, they might be

things that you've been putting off for

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so long that now is time to address.

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Castles do not have to be the source

of inspiration or even of negativity.

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They are places in which we live.

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We have to be able to live within the

comfort, within the care, within the

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compassion of the walls in which we

surround ourselves with every day,

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and so if you're not doing that for

yourself, in which you're working on

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your own castle, let alone letting

even other people in, or even letting

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other people out for that matter, you

might have a dysfunctional castle.

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Maybe the castle that you have always

held on to needs to be finally let

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go of in order to be able to have a

new owner that can take occupancy.

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Whether you think you are a king or a

queen, a prince or a princess, a castle

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guard or a cook, maybe even a knight for

that matter, always saving the day of the

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many peasants that live outside of it and

around that castle, just know that you

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still have a valuable place, and maybe

sometimes walking out of that castle

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could be the biggest part of winning

your salvation back, maybe even finding

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the freedom, not being trapped in those

walls that you've always been trapped in.

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I'll leave you with this note.

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A long time ago when I did learn about

this concept, I once examined what

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those walls looked like, but I put it

to the side, thinking that my castle

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walls were mightier than ever before.

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I had a good job.

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I was doing really well with

learning all kinds of new things.

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My life was getting better, but the

problem that I had was that one thing

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led to another; inside my own castle,

that I never paid attention to, and

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one day, it all caught up to me,

and the walls of my castle fell in.

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The castle that we build doesn't

mean that it stays forever.

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It takes a lot of work to maintain,

which is why, I am asking you

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to examine your castle today.

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Don't let it go another day where you

might have somebody or something that's

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holding you back, but even then, it's

okay to have a conversation with some

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of the individuals that represent the

feelings, the problems, the situations

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that you have spent some time in,

because you are allowed to talk.

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You are allowed to be with other people.

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You are allowed to address what these

issues are, because I'd rather that

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you step outside your castle from

time to time and allow me to help you.

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I would hope that somebody was helping

you, even if you feel trapped inside

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that castle, because it's time to not

be part of it anymore if it's holding

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you back, but if you have a nice

castle, please think of me, Joshua D.

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Smith, the next time that you are holding

a party, because I would love to celebrate

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within that big castle, and I think those

castles are pretty darn cool to be able

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to take photos in, even if they're just

selfies, because those selfies, are really

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one big special thing, especially when

we're building our own castles to compare.

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When we compare, by the way, we're able

to learn a lot more about ourselves,

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especially when we're invited, and that's

a great feeling to have inside, knowing

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that you're loved and appreciated.

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Thanks for listening to episode

number 135 of Speaking From The

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Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart, very soon.

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Outro: Thanks for listening.

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For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

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The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

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Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

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services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

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See you next time.