The Transcript

How to Build Strong Connections on LinkedIn Using Dating Advice from Cosmopolitan Magazine

Voiceover: This is The Missing Link, with your host, the insufferable, but never boring, Sean Jackson.

Sean Jackson: Hello everyone. It’s Sean Jackson, your host, and I am finally rejoined by the cheerful, and truly indispensable, Mica Gadhia. Mica, how are you?

Mica Gadhia: I am so good and I’m glad to be back.

Sean Jackson: We certainly missed you. I’m sure your husband and children enjoyed spending time with you, but damn it Mica, don’t leave me again!

Mica Gadhia: I won’t do it Sean, never.

Sean Jackson: This show is too hard. My poor listeners had me without you there to foil my witty repartee. It was tough. It was hard. Don’t do it again.

Mica Gadhia: It was a great show though.

Sean Jackson: Thank you.

Mica Gadhia: It was a great show, very helpful.

Sean Jackson: Thank you. Well, I am so happy to have you back because as everyone knows you are the voice of the audience. And as the voice of the audience on our show, what is a question that you’re starting to see our people wanting to know more about? So, what should we be talking about this time?

Mica Gadhia: I’m going with how to connect on LinkedIn and all of the different facets of connecting: who to connect with, who not to connect with, etc. That’s what I’m thinking I’d like to see about.

Sean Jackson: How to connect on LinkedIn? That’s probably one of the more interesting topics because there is a finesse that goes with it. So let me pull up on my computer — Larry Kim — do you know Larry Kim from WordStream?

Mica Gadhia: I don’t. Tell me about Larry Kim.

Sean Jackson: Okay, so here’s the thing. Larry Kim, apparently has written this article for inc.com that is titled “6 Reasons LinkedIn Is the New Online Dating Site.” I love Larry.

Mica Gadhia: I talked about connections. I mean, let’s do this.

Sean Jackson: I think that’ll work. I like this article. We’re going to go with it. All right. So basically the idea is that LinkedIn is such a great way to find people that you might as well use it as a dating site as well. And I thought that was a clever twist Larry put together. However, I think it also has applicability to what we are doing on the show, as far as what are some strategies and techniques that can help you connect with people on LinkedIn. Sounds good Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: Now here’s the problem though Mica. I have been married for seventeen years. I am not the person to get dating advice from. I’m just not. I’m sorry.

Mica Gadhia: I’ve been married for four. So, hmm.

Sean Jackson: We’re probably not the best for giving modern dating advice. So Mica, where does someone turn for dating advice now?

Mica Gadhia: Oh Cosmopolitan right? Isn’t that where we go? Cosmo?

Sean Jackson: Cosmo? Really?

Mica Gadhia: Yeah.

Sean Jackson: Really? We’re turning to Cosmo for dating advice. Okay, so let me get this episode straight.

Mica Gadhia: I think that’s where we go.

Sean Jackson: Let me get this straight. Based on Larry Kim’s article about using LinkedIn for dating, we’re going to go to Cosmo and find tips on how to connect with people using the dating ideas that they share. Is that basically what we’re talking about.

Mica Gadhia: That’s exactly what we’re talking about Sean.

Sean Jackson: Oh god, our group on LinkedIn is going to go crazy Mica. You understand that right? Our private LinkedIn group is going to go nuts when they listen to this episode. Oh my word.

Mica Gadhia: Let’s just go to the source Sean. We have to connect. Let’s learn how to connect. And Cosmo will be our greatest teacher.

Sean Jackson: I think so. And you know what? Loyal members of our LinkedIn discussion group, please let us know what you think of this episode. So people like Sheryl and Sandy and Lynne, thank you for participating in that group. Putting in all those great questions, suggestions, and post ideas. And Lynne, great job in putting in some case studies there. Right Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, definitely. And success celebrating her.

Sean Jackson: Yes, celebrating. And, of course, Terri asking questions about premium accounts and Sally with some great questions that everyone is learning from. But that’s not all who’s on the group either, is it Mica?

Mica Gadhia: No, there’s so many amazing contributors. Thank you all.

Sean Jackson: We also have a lot of international people. Don’t we Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yes, looks like we’ve got Barry from Scotland and Roman introduced himself from Brazil — which I’d like to go there.

Sean Jackson: Yeah. Great. There’s Michael and Anil and Bonny and Rosalyn. Just all of these people all over the world joining that private LinkedIn discussion group we have. And guys, I can’t tell you enough — Mica and I truly appreciate your contribution. But you know what Mica, we need more people, don’t we?

Mica Gadhia: Sean, we could always use more in our group.

Sean Jackson: So how can the listeners get to that private LinkedIn group we have?

Mica Gadhia: Well first, if you’re in the continental United States, you can take out your phone and text 41411 and use the keyword ‘mylink,’ without a space. Go ahead, and we will send you an immediate response and an invitation to join our private Missing Link group. If you’re international, please email us at MissingLink@Rainmaker.FM, and we will get you added as quickly as we can.

Sean Jackson: That is absolutely perfect Mica. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Mica Gadhia: Yes, I’ve been practicing.

Sean Jackson: Well everyone, truly, if you’re listening to the show for the first time or you haven’t taken the chance, come and join our group. Join people like Sheryl, Michael, Barry, Terri, etc., because it’s really a dynamic group. We’re going on a journey together to do LinkedIn marketing correctly. And when we come back from the break, you’re going to want to listen to how we figure out how to use Cosmo dating advice and use it for LinkedIn connections. So go ahead and stay tuned.

Voiceover: The Missing Link is brought to you by the Rainmaker Platform, the complete website solution for content marketers and online entrepreneurs. Find out more and take a free, 14-day test drive at Rainmaker.FM/Platform.

Sean Jackson: We’re back from the break. And Mica, in the break I was researching this Cosmo article you sent me and my wife walks by, looks over my shoulder, and gives me that look that just goes, “really?” So I said, “Honey it’s for work!”

Mica Gadhia: It’s been seventeen years. She’s got to know by now. It’s okay.

Sean Jackson: So, in order to help save my marriage Mica, we better do something with this Cosmo link, otherwise I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do to my wife later. So go ahead and set this up. We’re basically going to Cosmo’s article about modern dating. Correct?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: So set this up. We’re going to figure out how to connect it into how do you do connections on LinkedIn.

Mica Gadhia: Okay. So Jessica Massa writes this book, ” The Gaggle: How the Guys You Know Will Help You Find the Love You Want.” She goes in and she’s got “8 Ways to Learn How to Connect.” Now this is for dating, but we’re going to transfer this knowledge over to connections on LinkedIn.

Sean Jackson: Okay Mica.

Mica Gadhia: It’s what we’re gonna do Sean.

Sean Jackson: All right. Why don’t you read what she has in that little excerpt and then let me figure out how I can connect the dots.

Mica Gadhia: So the first one is: “Think of every guy as part of your gaggle.” Now I always thought gaggles were ducks, so I’m not quite sure about this one. Everyone is part of your gaggle. Talk about that on LinkedIn, as far as all the people in our communities, in our groups and discussions, and things of that sort.

Sean Jackson: Yeah, I think that’s a good one because this question comes up a lot. Right?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: Instead of the word gaggle, you can use the word tribe. Think of everybody as part of your tribe. I think if you use that tribe metaphor or the gaggle metaphor, it really means are they a part of your ecosystem online. Are they part of your business connections? Are they a part of the universe of people that you want to be talking to?

Guidelines on Accepting Connection Requests

Sean Jackson: For instance, I do not accept every connection request that I get because oftentimes I don’t know them. So if I don’t know them, I tend to be fairly hesitant to make that connection request with them. Or, it could be somebody that I do want to know, and sometimes I will blindly take them because it is somebody that I’d like to connect with in the future. But I think you do have to filter those connection requests. I do think that you have to sit there and think a little bit about those connection requests that come in. If they don’t have a picture — rule of thumb — don’t accept them as a connection.

So just take your time to really consider, “Does this person know me? Do I know them? Is that a good connection or is it somebody that I would like to connect with?” But I would probably advise against just connecting with anybody who sends a random request, only because it will not help you in the long run. Remember, a lot of building connections is with people that know, like, and trust you, and a random person who just would connect may not already have that as a background. Make sense Mica?

Mica Gadhia: Yeah it does. What would you think about if they’re in the same niche as you.

Sean Jackson: Well quite frankly, again, “Do I want to know them or are they just connecting with me because I randomly came up because we’re mutually connected maybe with somebody?” I think you have to filter through. I mean, my personal feeling is no. Even if they’re in the same niche I probably don’t connect with them unless I know them or I really want to know them. Meaning, I will connect and take the time to get to know them. Does that make sense?

Mica Gadhia: Okay.

Sean Jackson: Now I will give you the opposite of that, which is, “I’m trying to build a giant lead list network and I want to take everybody who comes in because I’m just going to spam the heck out of them at some point.” If that’s the way you do it, then take everybody who comes in. But I think it kind of goes to the whole concept of dating in general, right? Just because a guy looks your way doesn’t necessarily mean you want to go on a date with him.

Mica Gadhia: Exactly. Yeah, that’s true. You have to look at age. You have to look at gender. You have to look at all of the different demographics of who you’re wanting to date.

Sean Jackson: So go ahead and tell me the next point Jessica makes.

Mica Gadhia: All right. So the next one is: “Don’t wait for a date.” She said everything and nothing is a date. So for this one I was wondering, what about connecting through birthdays and anniversaries and the more personal areas that are always introduced on LinkedIn?

Why You Should Be Actively Reaching out to Your Connections

Sean Jackson: That’s a great one, because you get those recommendations that come up right? Connect with someone further. It’s their work anniversary, it’s their birthday, etc. Yeah, I absolutely believe this. Don’t wait for a date. Meaning, don’t wait for people to reach out to you, you reach out to them. And I think that’s definitely an operating rule both in dating and in connecting with people on LinkedIn. Is that you should be proactive reaching out to people.

It could be that they’re celebrating an anniversary. It could be that they just posted an update that you found really useful and you wanted to comment and let them know. I think that at the end of the day it is about building a relationship online with someone. And an easy way to do that is to find something that they are doing and comment on it in a very positive and giving way. So if they put an update out, they put a post out, they have a work anniversary — always be looking for ways to find a chance to compliment them or to be facilitating a conversation that is about something they’re doing. Right?

Mica Gadhia: Right.

Sean Jackson: I think it’s always good in a date when you let them talk more and compliment them than when you’re doing all the talking.

Mica Gadhia: Right. Listen.

Sean Jackson: That’s right. Huh, what did you say?

Mica Gadhia: You’re right. Did you like that?

Sean Jackson: All right, what else does Jessica say?

Mica Gadhia: All right, the next one is: “Use your computer,” which is very funny because we’re on LinkedIn. We’re already on the technology thing. But she does say, “If you hear a song that you think your partner might like, send it to them.” So my question on this one is, what do we send to people that we want to connect with? What’s a good rule of thumb for, “I really like this person. I want to connect with them. I think that we can do business. What do I do?”

Subtle Ways to Build Rapport with Potential Connections

Sean Jackson: This is a really powerful way to continue to introduce yourself to new people. I love it when you have a white paper or you have something free that is available out that there that is a real resource, not a promotional piece. Not something that says, “this is how we’re better than everybody else,” but something that has real value — real stats. People love stats about their industry, about their audience.

I think if you have content that you have produced or content that you have curated, absolutely go out there and send them a InMail, which is part of LinkedIn. Say, “I was thinking of you when I was reading this, thought you would find it useful.” Something along those lines. Because really the dating advice she’s giving is, “when you find something out there send them this resource,” is absolutely true in LinkedIn. There are many times when I’m looking at something and I’ll be thinking, “this may apply to XYZ.”

Well, go ahead and send them the link to it and say, “I was thinking...