Today's guest is the wonderful Christina Brown of the Motivational Mums Club, who found herself pregnant again within months of giving birth. As someone who was very career driven, this was a huge shock and she developed maternal mental health issues after the birth of her daughter. Chrissy talks about this experience and how it renewed her passion for helping other mothers - this time with an emphasis on supporting their mental health. She is determined that other mums should have access to the help they need. (This episode was recorded in the middle of winter.)
*TRIGGER WARNING: BRIEF MENTION OF EARLY BABY LOSS*
IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSS:
[00:00] Teaser quote.
[02:07] Introduction to Christina Brown.
[03:26] Chrissy's background in the corporate world, very ambitious and career driven.
[07:15] Getting pregnant - in-between bleedings and worry about miscarrying, keeping quiet.
[09:39] Relaxing into the pregnancy and the safe delivery of her son.
[10:21] Starting 'Motivational Mums' whilst a new mum - sharing experiences of motherhood.
[13:34] Feeling emotionally well, thanks to a good support system.
[14:58] The shock of finding herself 12 weeks pregnant, when her son Zane was less than 7 months.
[19:40] Getting referred by her GP and her first scan.
[22:23] The impact on her return to work - a lot to take in.
[23:51] Filled with anxiety - "I lost myself".
[28:51] Life with '2 under 2' - tears, but unable to tell the midwife.
[31:09] The pressures on black mums - being judged, not being listened to, cultural expectations.
[34:19] Telling her GP - the Edinburgh Test, rejecting anti-depressants and a lack of peer support.
[36:21] 'Motivational Mums' is reborn - positive affirmations about motherhood, keeping it real.
[38:29] Offering free mental health sessions for mothers and birthing people.
[39:32] 'Young Positive Minds' - encouraging self confidence and resilience in young people.
[40:44] The huge need for children's mental health support and how we, as parents with mental illness, can help them through our own lived experience.
[41:44] The affect of the pandemic, uncertainty in the world and social pressure on our young people - being told how they should look, how they should behave.
[43:02] The importance of affirmation and positive reinforcement in building emotional resilience.
[44:15] Partners shouldn't be forgotten about - they need support to.
[45:33] Losing her identity - the importance to still be 'you', despite looking after everyone else.
[47:01] "We don't have a moment to be still" - give yourself grace, you have permission to "be still"
[50:21] So many mums feel guilty for doing anything for themselves. But self care is crucial.
[51:19] How to get hold of Chrissy - website and contact links.
[52:22] "The first year after giving birth, every mother is entitled to counselling under the NHS."
[53:30] Talking helps - counselling is a safe space.
[54:24] Chrissy's calling - taking a career break to concentrate on both her businesses.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
- According to the NHS, you can get pregnant as little as 3 weeks after the birth of a baby, even if you're breastfeeding and your periods haven't started again. Unless you want to get pregnant again, it's important to use some kind of contraception every time you have sex after giving birth, including the first time. Breastfeeding is not a contraceptive.
- Black mums are 4 times more likely to die in childbirth and rates of PND/anxiety are significantly higher than they are in white mums - yet black mums are less likely to seek help or be listened to. (Metro)
- FiveXMore is a grassroots organisation committed to changing Black women and birthing people’s maternal health outcomes in the UK.
- 1 in 6 children and young people have a diagnosable mental health illness, and many continue to have these problems into adulthood. (Place 2 Be) With children's mental health at an all-time low, having a parent who has experienced a mental health issue is actually helpful for them - we are empowering our children, bringing them up in an environment where they know it's ok to not be ok, and giving them the tools for mental resilience.
- ELFT (East London NHS Foundation Trust)
- Motivational Mums Club - Contact Chrissy here. MMC offers Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist who’s also a Mother.
- It is so important as mothers to allow ourselves to be still, practice self-care and reconnect with who we were before we become a parent. For help with this, please listen to the resources below:
- The Self Compassion episode (part 1)
- The Self Compassion episode (part 2)
- Loving Kindness Meditation (specially created for Blue MumDays listeners)
If you enjoyed this episode, please share, rate and subscribe. It really does make the difference in helping others find it – which means helping more parents in need.
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Email: bluemumdays@gmail.com
NEXT WEEK’S EPISODE:
In Episode 15 - my most personal to date - I chat to my own beloved mum, Nina, for the first time about her experiences of postnatal depression in the late 1960s.
SUPPORT:
If you are struggling right now, please know that it’s okay to talk and reach out for help.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WILL NOT FEEL THIS WAY FOR EVER.
We hope these support services are helpful (please note we do not check or monitor them individually).
Action on Postpartum Psychosis (APP)
Moderated Forum, click here to find out more.
Email: app@app-network.org
Tel: 020 3322 9900
Andy's Man Club
A non-judgemental talking group for men
https://andysmanclub.co.uk/club-information/clubs/
Email: info@andysmanclub.co.uk
Association of Postnatal Illness
Helpline: 10am – 2pm – 0207 386 0868
Email: info@apni.org
Live chat online facility
Best Beginnings
Free NHS-accredited Baby Buddy app offering
evidence-based information and self-care tools to help parents during pregnancy
and early stages of parenting.
App users also have access to a confidential, text-based Crisis Messenger which provides
24/7 support for new and expectant parents who are feeling extremely anxious or overwhelmed.
Bi-Polar UK
email: info@bipolaruk.org
Birth Trauma Association
Email: support@birthtraumaassociation.org.uk
CALM
Contact CALM
on their national helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm-midnight)
Cedar House Support Group
Email: lwise@talktalk.net (Liz Wise)
Mobile: 07773 283556
Contact: for families with disabled children
Support, advice and information for parents with disabled children.
DadsNet
Offers support and knowledge through a community of dads on practical parenting and fatherhood.
Family Lives
An organisation providing immediate help from volunteer parent support workers 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Family Rights Group
Support for parents and other family members whose children are involved with or need social care services.
Fathers Reaching Out
https://www.reachingoutpmh.co.uk/
Run by Mark Williams, campaigner, speaker and writer, offering support to dads.
Gingerbread
Single parents, equal families. Help and advice on the issues that matter to lone parents.
The Hub of Hope
A directory of mental health support around the UK.
Make Birth Better (Birth Trauma Support)
Email: hello@makebirthbetter.org
Maternal OCD
Peer support available, email info@maternalocd.org to
arrange
The Motherhood Group
Dedicated to sharing and supporting the black maternal experience through peer support, projects and advocacy.
info@themotherhoodgroup.com
Motivational Mums Club
Offering Trauma, Mindfulness and Meditation sessions for Mothers and Mums to be with an NHS Mental Health Specialist, who’s also a Mother.
Music Football Fatherhood
Open conversations around fatherhood, including blogs, peer support and podcasts.
hello@musicfootballfatherhood.com
Muslim Women’s Network
Helpine: 0800 999 5786, open Mon-Fri 10am –
4pm with support offered in English, Urdu, Punjabi, Mirpuri, Putwari, Hindko,
and Bengali.
Email: info@mwnhelpline.co.uk
Online chat: www.mwnhelpline.co.uk
Text: 07415 206 936
Netmums
Netmums offer peer support via their Maternal Mental Health Drop-In
Clinic.
NHS
Contact your local GP surgery.
Call the NHS on 111
or contact a local NHS urgent mental health helpline
If you are in crisis, visit Accident & Emergency at your nearest hospital.
PANDAS
Helpline open from 9am-8pm every day – 0843 2898 401
Email support available – info@pandasfoundation.org.uk
Petals
Petals offers free-of-charge specialist counselling to anyone who has experienced pregnancy
or baby loss.
Web: petalscharity.org/counsellingcontact/
Email: counselling@petalscharity.org
Tel: 0300 688 0068
Samaritans
Tel: 116 123
(this is a free telephone number and will not appear on the phone bill)
Web: www.samaritans.org
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Shout
Text SHOUT to 85258 to start a confidential conversation with a trained Shout volunteer.
Twins Trust
Twinline is Twins Trust’s listening service for parents of twins, triplets and more. All
the calls are answered by volunteers who have multiples themselves.
Twinline is open Monday to Friday 10am to 1pm and from 7pm to 10pm. 0800 138 0509,
alternatively email asktwinline@twinstrust.org.
Web: twinstrust.org/let-us-help/support/twinline.html
Tommy’s
Tommy’s has a team of in-house midwives who offer free support and information for women and their families at any stage of pregnancy and after the birth.
Web: www.tommys.org
Helpline: Tommy’s
helpline has been closed temporarily but their midwives are answering questions
via email, Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Email: midwife@tommys.org
MUSIC by Joseph McDade
