148: Teaching Children How To Navigate Friendships // Deana Thayer and Kira Dorrian of Future Focused Parenting
I recently asked the 3 in 30 podcast community on Instagram to help me choose episode topics, like how to navigate friendship, for the rest of 2020 and into 2021. I asked, “If you could hear a 3 in 30 episode about anything what would it be?” The responses were amazing and I used them to craft a content calendar that I hope will be incredibly enriching and inspiring for all of you in the next many months.
One comment in particular got so many likes from other mothers, that I knew we needed to address it on the podcast ASAP.
This comment from a mom with the Instagram handle “Merecooley” said, “I’d love to hear an episode about how to help children choose and navigate friend groups. It is such a strong outside influence! How much should I guide him/her on choosing friends? How do I explain red flags within unhealthy friendships without judgement for others decisions/difference?”
It occurred to me that this could be a great topic for this month’s theme, which is YOU are your child’s most important teacher. What could be more important than explicitly teaching our children how to be a good friend and choose good friends?
I’m so excited to introduce you to today’s guests who are going to dive deep into this topic: Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer are the founders of Future Focused Parenting and co-hosts of the popular podcast “Raising Adults.” They say that they “aren't all about ‘raising kids’...instead they hope to raise fully functioning, happy, healthy adults and believe that parenting with a long-range view is the key to that.”
Between them, Kira and Deana have a background in childbirth, sleep consulting, education and mental health. Dina is a mom and stepmom to five teenagers, and Kira is a mom to 9-year old boy-girl twins.
I am incredibly excited for them to share their wisdom on teaching our children to choose good friends and be good friends today.
Three Takeaways on How to Navigate Friendship:
Remember the acronym PAL:
1) P - Pay Attention. Teach your children to pay attention to their friends’ behavior, how they treat people, and if that matches with what they believe to be the characteristics of a good friend.
2) A - Ask Great Questions. “How do you feel when you are around that friend?” “Do they always choose you, or do they go back and forth on whether or not you are their friend that day?” “Are they happy for you when you are happy?”
3) L - Lead By Example. how your children what it looks like to be a good friend by the way you connect with your own friends and talk about them when they aren’t around.