Welcome back! I’ve had a few curve balls thrown at me since my last episode and I’m glad you’re back with me.

The biggest thing I’ve had to deal with was a surprise diagnosis of Stage 3 colorectal cancer, which has influenced my approach to hardship and inspired me to dive deep into literature for solace. Among the books I read during treatment was Kennedy Ryan's 'Before I Let Go', a complex tale of love, grief, reconciliation and healing that uniquely highlights the experience of a divorced couple. The story's themes of self-compassion, therapy culmination into growth and resilience resonates deeply with me, encouraging me through my own recovery. 

The book also makes a mark with its dual-narrative structure, realistic portrayals of flawed characters and the enticing inclusion of southern cuisine. It’s a lovely reminder that relationships are a journey, and that true love can find its way back even after devastating losses.

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Culture Lit is a community in celebration of black women and black love, and a reminder that black women deserve joy, love, success, second chances, and all the beautiful magic the world has to offer.

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As 2022 came to a close, my world was turned upside down.

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What I thought would be a

routine colonoscopy revealed I

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had stage 3 colorectal cancer.

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Shit, I was still navigating the

aftermath of COVID, lockdown,

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and being outside again.

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Pondering the direction

I wanted for my life.

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What I landed on Was refusing

to tiptoe through life, only to

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arrive safely at death's door.

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What I learned from my journey

through treatment is that,

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in this lifetime, if you're

lucky, you'll get a hundred years.

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Yet, it'll never be enough.

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There's always more to see, more to do.

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And more to become.

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So I chose not to tiptoe.

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I choose to take up space, make an

entrance, and walk the path less traveled.

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And when necessary, I'll forge my own way.

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I will never allow myself to be small or

molded into someone else's version of me.

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I ain't tiptoeing anymore.

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Few people may remember I was

here, but those who knew me

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will say she was fearless.

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Not because I was devoid of

fear, but because I never

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let fear dictate my journey.

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Let's create memories.

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Take that leap and do it

even when we're scared.

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Because remember, we ain't tiptoeing.

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I'm diving back in and bringing

more of my culture led podcast,

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delving into the world of Black

love and Black romance novels.

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During my treatment and now through

my recovery, of which I'm still on the

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road to recovery, I embrace my love

of romance novels to get me through.

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In keeping with that theme of

embracing second chances, today I

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have an amazing novel to discuss.

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One that delves into the

complexities of love, Loss,

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and the journey to rediscover it.

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Join me as I embark on the powerful

journey within the pages of

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Before I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan.

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Before I Let Go features a

divorced couple, Yasmin and Josiah.

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This novel stands out from other

romance novels by portraying the

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journey of a divorced couple.

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Now that's a thing not

commonly explored in the genre.

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They are very broken as

a couple and as a family.

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They've been divorced for about two years.

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They have two children, but they own

a business that they run together, a

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restaurant in Atlanta called Grits.

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It brings a sense of maturity and

relatability to the story, delving into

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the complexities of adult relationships.

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Yasmin and Josiah find themselves in

therapy and co parenting their children.

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Their divorce was not an easy

decision, and the reasons behind

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it are devastatingly relatable.

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Their journey towards reconciliation

is both heart wrenching

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and inspiring.

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Through the dual perspectives

of Yasmin and Josiah,

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we witnessed Their imperfections,

their struggles, and their growth.

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It's a reminder that relationships are

a journey, and true love can find its

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way back even after devastating losses.

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Another captivating aspect of the book

is its integration of southern cuisine.

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For all the food enthusiasts out there,

this novel serves up a delightful treat

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with its mouth watering descriptions and

the inclusion of some incredible recipes.

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I'm not a chef, so I

haven't tried any of the

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in the book.

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Prepare to savor the flavors and aromas

as you immerse yourself in the story.

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One of the central themes in

Before I Let Go is the importance

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of healing and self discovery.

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Yasmin's journey in therapy

resonates so deeply with many

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readers, including myself.

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Learning to be gentle with oneself,

that's something I've had to

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struggle with during my treatment.

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And so I completely understand,

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learning to forgive our failures

and grain ourselves some grace.

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These are some vital lessons

we can all relate to.

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It's empowering to see these

concepts normalized and

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integrated into the storytelling.

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Before I Let Go takes us on an emotional

rollercoaster as we witness the couple's

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profound despair and brokenness.

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Yasmine and Josiah face

unimaginable losses.

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These events take a toll on

their relationship plunging them

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into deep depression and grief.

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However,

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the story also offers

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glimmers

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of

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Octavia Marie: hope and joy,

reminding us that even amidst

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the darkness, there is hope.

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Love and happiness can find a way,

and I needed that during my treatment.

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There were some moments where I

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could have gone down

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a rabbit hole of depression, but reading

and reading this story and some of the

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other novels that I read during treatment

helped me to stay above all of that.

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But there's also this chemistry

between Josiah and Yasmin

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that's kind of a slow burn.

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I usually like

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romance

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novels a little bit more spicy, but

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you can feel the attraction

is palpable between them.

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Even though they're not a couple during

a big portion of the book, there's still

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some real chemistry, you can feel it.

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Which leads to a very

spicy garage sex scene.

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I'm not gonna provide any spoilers there,

I'mma let you read that on your own.

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When we start the book, Yasmin

has already been in therapy.

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She's on antidepressants.

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She's on the upswing.

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And I think readers sometimes

get the impression Kennedy Ryan's

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books are sad and heart wrenching.

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Now don't get me wrong, Before

I Let Go definitely has some of

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that, but there's also so much joy.

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One of the great things about Before

I Let Go is that it's told from a

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dual perspective, and I like that.

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The book would have still been amazing

told from Jasmine's perspective,

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but then as you get into the therapy

aspect of it, I think it's critical

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in understanding what this couple is

going through, and I think getting these

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moments of Josiah and his point of view.

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are critical in this book.

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I think having Josiah's point of

view was a much more immersive

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storytelling experience.

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Neither Josiah or Yasmin are perfect

characters and that's a good thing.

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You're not going to agree with all of

their decisions and that's the point.

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You get to go on their journey

with them and witness their

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healing and how they grow.

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As you read their story, you get to

see that there's a terseness in Josiah,

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and I think if we had not gotten his

point of view in the storytelling,

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we may not have understood him.

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And I also think we wouldn't

have liked him as a character.

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We, as readers, would have misunderstood

that part of his personality.

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There's a part in the book

where Josiah snaps at Yasmin.

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And because we're in his point

of view, when it happens,

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he sees that he's hurt her.

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He sees I've hurt her, and

he's like, I'm an asshole.

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And he's asking himself,

how do people do this?

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Like, it's so hard for me to be with her.

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They have the rhythm of running

their business together, co

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parenting their children, It's

a forced proximity of sorts.

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So he's like, how do people do this?

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How am I supposed to be with

her, but not be with her?

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When I thought this was the person I

would spend the rest of my life with.

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How do people pretend they're

not, you know, that the whole

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world has not collapsed on them?

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And they're like, you know

a beam is on their chest.

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You know, he's like, how

am I supposed to do this?

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And I feel like that kind of inner

dialogue, not having the benefit of

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what we wouldn't really understand,

how hurt Josiah is by the divorce

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and how much he resents losing her.

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And he has this one line where he

says, I'm really bad at losing you.

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And what I get from that is

that he's not good at doing life

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without Yasmin as his partner.

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Before I Let Go showcases the

complexities of grief, the various

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ways that people cope with it.

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Some characters run from grief,

while others confront it head on.

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Kenny D.

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Ryan masterfully explores different

types of mourning, from mourning a

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relationship, to mourning the collapse of

a marriage, and the loss of loved ones.

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I think it's a testament to the depth

and intricacy of the human experience.

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One thing that struck a chord

with me personally was the

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importance of self compassion.

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Yasmin's journey mirrors my own

experience with my therapist where

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I've learned to be gentle with myself

because I can be very hard on myself too.

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I'm a classic firstborn older child

and as I started digging more into

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that and giving myself grace, forgiving

yourself when you feel like you failed.

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Before I Let Go beautifully

portrays the necessity of concepts

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like grace and forgiveness.

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for Yasmin.

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but also for the readers who may

resonate with these struggles.

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There's a lot of on page therapy

in this book, which I think is

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meant to help normalize therapy.

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While Yasmin has embraced

therapy, there are two very

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emotional incidents in this book.

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They send Yasmin into a very deep

depression, but Josiah really

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doesn't stop to process his grief

and the cumulative losses, including

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losing his wife to divorce.

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It's a lot of loss and Josiah starts

off very resistant to therapy, which is

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also so relatable because so many people

are resistant to therapy, primarily

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because they view it as stigmatizing.

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so I think this was an amazing arc

for the character as a model for those

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people to see themselves and to see his

growth, to see how much therapy really

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was a part of Josiah's healing journey.

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This feels like a romance for grown ups.

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There's living and life in

their story that I think so

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many women will connect with.

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It's a powerful story about a divorced

couple and their reconciliation and

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then the life that they lived and

built together and how they were

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able to overcome the hard balls

from life and kind of prioritize

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themselves in their relationship.

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As I watch and talk to my close friends

about marriage and life, One thing I

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learned is that they all come to a point

in their marriage where they're like, Am

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I going to be able to do this forever?

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Or, you know, this person

really gets on my nerves, and

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I really get on their nerves.

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Or, you know, they just have

those kind of bumps in the road.

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I think Kennedy Ryan skillfully

crafts this layered narrative,

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expertly balancing the moments of

heartache with moments of levity.

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Before I Let Go is an emotional and

powerful tale that will resonate

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with readers evoking tears, laughter,

and a renewed appreciation for

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the strength of the human spirit.

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So that's it for me for now.

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Thank you again for joining me

on this exploration of Before

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I Let Go by Kennedy Ryan.

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I hope I've piqued your interest and

inspired you to dive into this heartfelt

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and transformative second-chance romance.

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Join us next time

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as we uncover more remarkable

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black romance

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Octavia Marie: novels.

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Until then,

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Octavia Marie: keep reading and

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embracing the beauty of

love in all its forms.