Comparisonitis among coaches is rife. Jo offers strategies to overcome this tendency, including recognising when comparisonitis is happening, shifting focus to one's own journey, celebrating wins, collaborating with other coaches, reframing comparison as inspiration, highlighting unique value proposition, seeking feedback and improvement, practising self-compassion, and prioritising self-care. Jo shares personal experiences and encourages listeners to trust and believe in themselves, emphasizing the importance of their unique perspectives and contributions.

Part One: Recognising the trap [00:01:12] Explains the trap of comparisonitis and the negative effects it can have on coaches' progress and success.

Part Two: Focus on your own journey [00:02:29] Encourages coaches to shift their focus from others' achievements to their own journey, celebrate wins, and acknowledge progress.

Part Three: Embrace collaboration [00:03:48] Highlights the importance of collaborating with other coaches, sharing knowledge, and building a supportive network instead of viewing them as competition.

Part 4: Embracing your unique value proposition [00:12:07] Recognise and embrace your unique strengths and ways of explaining things, as they are valuable and needed by others.

Part 5: Trusting and believing in yourself [00:12:07] Have confidence in your abilities and trust that you are capable of achieving great things as a coach.

Useful Links

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Joanna Lott's website and programme

Download the 12 ways to get clients now

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Hello and welcome to Women in the Coaching Arena podcast.

I'm so glad you are here.

I'm Jo Lott, a business mentor and ICF accredited coach, and I'm on a

mission to help brilliant coaches build brilliant coaching businesses.

In this podcast, I'll be sharing honest, not hype, practical and

emotional tools to support you to make the difference that you are here for.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone): Hello, welcome to the 18th episode

of women in the coaching arena.

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm your host, Jo Lott.

And today I'm talking about comparisonitis as a coach.

Comparing yourself to others is something that I see a lot and it can truly hinder

your progress and success as a coach.

Comparisonitis.

I don't know if that's an actual word or not.

I'm sure you know what I mean?

It's that tendency to constantly compare ourselves to others in the industry

who are usually way ahead of us.

Which then leads to feelings of inadequacy.

Self-doubt diminished sense of self worth.

And that tendency to want to hide away and give up.

So let's get started and explore some strategies to overcome this

so you can thrive as a coach.

Part one recognising the trap.

Before we can address this, comparisonitis, it's

important to recognise when we're falling into this trap.

So as coaches, we are exposed to endless social media from other coaches.

It can feel like the entire world is a coach and everyone

else has their stuff together.

And it's easy to feel really small in comparison.

Especially if you are just starting out.

But no matter how far along you are in your journey, there is

always someone who's further along who seems to have it all sussed.

And every coaches has journey is unique.

Success looks different for everyone.

Maybe you don't even want what they have.

It's just that tendency to always want more.

If you are able to recognize what's truly important to you.

You might have more of that than you realize.

Once you have recognized the trap part two would be to focus on your own journey.

Instead of fixating on others' achievements, shift your

focus to your own journey.

Really celebrate those wins.

Acknowledge your progress.

Remind yourself of the impact you have made on your client's lives.

Every win is worth recognizing.

On every single one of our calls.

That's exactly how we start because genuinely, we can't see it

unless we are asked the question.

As we know, as coaches, our brain will start to seek the answer.

But we never ask ourselves that question.

What went well?

Our brains are trained to just look for what didn't go.

Well, what if I messed up?

So it's super super important.

Something I truly prioritise in my programme, asking

ourselves, what went well?

What could have been better and what did I learn?

I would really, really encourage that practice.

So part three- embrace collaboration.

Rather than viewing other coaches as competition, embrace collaboration, reach

out, become friends, share your knowledge.

And it not only helps you to learn and grow, but it also

builds a supportive network.

It's my most favorite part of my community.

And everybody says the same because if you can broach it from that mindset,

you will do so much better than you would if you were keeping your

stuff secret, not sharing, because then they don't share with you.

I work with the most amazing people who have huge strengths.

Someone's great at Tik TOK.

Someone's great at public speaking.

Someone's great at cold emailing corporates, we all

can share that experience.

And all those different things that we all have going for us with each other.

So that more people succeed.

A rising tide lifts all boats and it really is worth coming round to that

growth mindset instead of the lack mindset of someone's gonna steal my ideas.

The best thing is we're all unique.

So there is no such thing as stolen ideas, nearly all of the ideas are out

there already, and you will have your own unique twist on anything that you do.

So even if someone is doing the exact same thing as you, you really

can't start taking it personally, or you will never succeed in business.

I promise you, I have seen in my community, people create amazing

things together and go further than they would ever go if they

were trying to do it alone.

Part four reframe comparison as inspiration.

On my onboarding, because I always say here's the traps

you could possibly fall into.

When working in our community.

There are two ways to look at when someone's doing well,

look at it in the comparison.

Oh, it's all right for them.

It's just not fair for me.

Or look at it as inspiration.

Like everybody started where you are now.

No social media following.

No clients.

No niche.

So instead of allowing it to deflate your confidence, reframe it as inspiration,

look for what is possible out there.

I know that if it's possible for them, it is possible for you too.

Look at those successful coaches in your field, not as rivals, but as role models.

Study their strategies.

Learn from their experiences.

Adapt their techniques to suit your own unique style.

With that one it's always worth remembering that most of the people that

you compare yourself to are well ahead of you, like years ahead of you often.

They may have a huge team.

They may have been in business for years.

They may already have a massive audience.

So do you take that one about adapting their techniques with a pinch of salt?

For example, if you want to launch your membership.

It's actually really, really hard to launch a low-cost membership

if you have no audience, because you might get like two people

join and it's 50 pounds a month.

And then you're putting so much effort in at that rate.

Because maybe you see all these big names, launch memberships, but they

have an audience of 40,000 followers.

So they can launch a low cost membership because they have the audience to fill it.

So do be really careful if you're looking at people well ahead of you

thinking, oh, they're doing that.

I'll do the same.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone)-1: Part five focus on your

unique value proposition.

So remember that you have your own unique value that sets you apart from other

co-chairs, it's really important to.

I identify and emphasize what makes you special, your unique skills,

your coaching approach, niche, expertise, personality, strengths.

There is so much that you think is easy because it is easy for

you and you're good at something.

That other people will really struggle with.

And vice-versa.

So do you communicate your value to potential clients highlighting how

you can help them to achieve their goals in a way that no one else can.

What are your values?

What are your strengths?

What are you just brilliant at.

And even if you can't see those things, ask people because it is

really hard to see your own strengths.

Or do you one of those free StrengthsFinders online

or personality tests?

Like it's a really nice thing to do when you're feeling like everyone else is

better than me, just do one of those.

I love when I did one recently, I can't remember which one it was now.

But, you know, when your top strength comes out as coach, you're like, oh wow.

This is what I'm meant to be doing versus, oh, I'm just not as good as

everybody else and all the things that we can easily say to ourselves.

Part six is seek feedback and improvement.

So continuous improvement is a real strong value of mine.

You do need to stay relevant as a coach.

And I'm sure as a coach, you are already in this personal development

world, constantly wanting to improve.

So I don't need to say this one twice.

Seek that feedback from people you know- it will be so valuable

to you to hear other people's view of what your brilliant.

I went to a mastermind recently and the business coach that is

hosting it introduced me to the group saying Joanna has created so

much success, but she's so humble.

And it was like, oh my gosh, really me.

I had no idea.

I had created so much success.

So sometimes it's just lovely to hear somebody else's feedback

because it's so rare that we allow ourselves to go there long enough

to realize what we have achieved.

Part seven practice self-compassion

I went to a wonderful Brene Brown self-compassion workshop, and they talked

about doing things like putting your arms around yourself and giving yourself a

hug and putting your hand on your heart.

Putting your hand around your face to help you to feel loved.

And it really does work.

So be kind to yourself, acknowledge that everyone has their own path

and timeline just because they are gaining clients in the first month.

It doesn't mean you will, but guess what?

You might be still going a year in and they may have given up.

Everyone is on their own journey and we have no idea what life

has in store for any of us.

So just know that everyone has their ups and everyone has their downs.

No matter what it looks like on the outside, if you are comparing

your inside -your feelings, your emotions, to somebody else's outside,

you will always lose out because we don't know those negative feelings.

We just see they're doing amazing.

They're feeling good.

We don't know that they were crying in the toilets five minutes

before coming into the restaurant.

So give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them.

Grow.

It is a journey and you will only get there if you do make

mistakes and learn from them.

Think about what you can do to practice self care.

Can you do affirmations, meditation?

What is it going to take to make sure that you are prioritizing you and training your

brain to look for those positive things?

Like for example, I do a gratitude journal every night.

It has really helped.

And I genuinely do think it has retrain my brain because.

I cannot now.

now.

help thinking, wow, this is good.

This is good.

This is good.

Like it does start to slowly, slowly sink in.

So at least 50% of the time you might be looking at positive stuff

versus 90% of the time looking at negative, which is probably the

way most people live their life.

I started doing yoga when my daughter was about.

One year old.

And I felt really selfish going off insisting on this yoga every single

day, but actually it's my one savior.

It's my one piece of heaven.

My one moment where I slow down.

Long enough to breathe deeply and really connect into me.

And then I can connect into her and everyone else around me.

So we covered a lot today.

Comparisonitis is a really challenging thing, especially

when you first start out.

With the right mindset and strategies, you can overcome it.

I very rarely think about how anyone else is doing these days.

I don't scroll on social media.

I don't really see and think, oh, they've got it all sussed.

So embrace your unique strengths, focus on your journey, collaborate with others

and strive for continuous improvement.

Know, that it's all part of the journey.

And whoever you are comparing yourself to has probably had a similar journey to you.

You just don't see it because you're only seeing the outside.

I hope you found today's episode helpful.

Remember that you are capable of achieving great things and your

clients need you and your guidance.

I truly believe that we are all here for our own unique purpose.

And people need to hear your unique stance on how you explain things.

I remember once.

I explained niching to someone.

And then I sent them Seth Godin's video.

Who's like one of the top marketeers in the world.

And said oh, he'll explain it a lot better than I do.

And she sent me a thing back going.

Yeah, it was interesting, but the way you explained it was so much

better and I'm like, wow, if I can explain stuff better than Seth Godin.

That's pretty cool.

But it's just that she needed to hear my unique way of explaining niching.

So you will also have your strengths and your unique way that people need to hear.

So, as I say, at the end of every episode, trust yourself, believe in

yourself and be the wise gardener who keeps on watering the seed.

Microphone (Samson Q2U Microphone): Thank you so much for listening to this

episode of Women in the Coaching Arena.

Please come and say hi to me on LinkedIn or Instagram and let me

know how you are getting on in your coaching business and how you are

gonna go for your dreams this year.

My name on LinkedIn is Joanna Lott and on Instagram is at Joanna Lott Coaching, and

I'll also put links in the show notes.

Let me know if you found this episode useful.

Share it with a friend and leave me a review, and I will

personally thank you for that.

Thank you so much for listening.