Shownotes
There’s a lot of debate about whether goal setting is helping or hurting progress. But finding your momentum requires having some direction. Instead of ditching goals altogether, I’m sharing how I’ve changed my perspective and process for goal setting. Plus, I’ll share my goals for my latest experiment.
Stand Out of Our Light by James Williams (Available as Open Source)
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Transcripts
Maybe you've noticed it too. There are videos, podcasts, and articles
Speaker:telling you stop setting goals. And maybe the idea is really
Speaker:appealing to you that you can be successful even if you
Speaker:don't have goals. And I think maybe more so if you're someone
Speaker:who's been let down in the past. But what if what
Speaker:they're actually proposing is just a different type of goals? And if you look at
Speaker:your goals differently, it's really achieving the same thing. So maybe instead
Speaker:of ditching goals altogether, start to recognize how
Speaker:types of goals are different and understand the role that each
Speaker:type plays in your success and going after what you want.
Speaker:And so today I'm going to talk about the three different types of goals, how
Speaker:they're all connected, and how I've been using them to
Speaker:workshop my goals and what I want to accomplish.
Speaker:Speaking of that, today I'm going to share my latest
Speaker:momentum experiment and it has to do with social media, which has
Speaker:not always been easy for me. So I'll get into that at
Speaker:the end of the episode. Before I get into specific goal
Speaker:types, I first want to talk about attention. And I've
Speaker:mentioned this before in past content, but if you haven't heard
Speaker:about different types of attention, then I'd love to
Speaker:recommend Stand out of Our Light. It's by James
Speaker:Williams. I'll have the link in the show notes. This book talks
Speaker:about three different types and I want to explain them
Speaker:because they're related to goals and to goal setting.
Speaker:So let's take a look at if you're watching the video, you're going
Speaker:to see some slides. If you're listening to audio, I'm going to walk you through
Speaker:them. So the first type of attention is what he calls spotlight attention.
Speaker:That's where you are paying attention in the moment to the thing you are actually
Speaker:doing. So this could be right now, I am
Speaker:recording this podcast live and my attention is
Speaker:its spotlight. I am focused on this one thing I'm doing directly in
Speaker:front of me. The next type of attention is what he calls
Speaker:starlight attention. And this is more about being in
Speaker:alignment with the person you want to be. Are the actions you're taking
Speaker:day after day actually aligned with the decisions that you want to be making
Speaker:and who you want to be? And then the third type of attention is really
Speaker:this capacity to step back and look at the bigger picture of. Of
Speaker:okay, who do I want to be? How do I know who I want to
Speaker:be? How do I know what's important to me? And it's really
Speaker:reflective attention. So you are looking at the big picture.
Speaker:You're thinking about what matters to you. I love this framework.
Speaker:And one of the other ways you can think about it is that spotlight is
Speaker:doing starlight is being, and
Speaker:daylight is about knowing. Now, I bring this up because
Speaker:of, because when it comes to goal setting, I think it's really important
Speaker:to recognize that daylight attention
Speaker:takes time and space. We need to actually step away. And so
Speaker:often when you think about goals, you might sit down and have a goal
Speaker:setting session, or maybe you work with someone or perhaps even attend
Speaker:a workshop. But the point is you need to step away from your day to
Speaker:day. You need to step away from the spotlight in order to say, what do
Speaker:I really want? How do I know what is important to me? So when
Speaker:it comes to these three, you actually start
Speaker:with the daylight attention, knowing what you want,
Speaker:and then you work backwards and decide, okay, so what does that
Speaker:mean for who I want to be and what is in alignment? And then break
Speaker:it down to just the doing. How am I showing
Speaker:up day to day? I think is really important. So
Speaker:now I want to pivot to goals where we got this idea
Speaker:of attention. And daylight attention is really important for deciding what we want.
Speaker:So let's imagine that there is an athlete
Speaker:and an athlete decides, you know what, I want to be the best in my
Speaker:field and I want maybe a gold medal. We can all imagine
Speaker:there are athletes who compete and they want to be on the top of the
Speaker:podium and they, they kind of say, that's the
Speaker:destination that I want to go to. And you need to have a path that
Speaker:is going to get you there. So you'll have this direction of, okay, I need
Speaker:to take these little steps in order to reach my goal. That's how most of
Speaker:us think of goal setting. It's that there's an outcome that I want to reach
Speaker:and it might take some time, it's going to take some work, but that's eventually
Speaker:where I want to get. Now you need to work backwards and fill out what
Speaker:are the actual things I need to do now, in a way, if we
Speaker:look at attention, you take that daylight attention to decide what's important to you, where
Speaker:do you want to go, what's the destination? But you also have to look
Speaker:at your starlight attention regularly of am I on the right
Speaker:path? Am I following the path that's in alignment with where I want to
Speaker:be going? And really that's the direction. And ultimately you need to
Speaker:take daily action to get there. And I think what's happening is when
Speaker:people think about goals, they start to mix up
Speaker:what types of goals there are. So let's get into the types of goals
Speaker:that exist. And I want you to think about
Speaker:an X and Y axis. So if you're looking at a graph,
Speaker:which in the video. I do have a video here, but I'll try and explain
Speaker:it if you're listening on audio. The bottom of the graph is
Speaker:time. Whenever we start out to set a goal, we're
Speaker:starting from where we are and to where we want to get eventually, that destination.
Speaker:So there's going to be time along the bottom axis there, but
Speaker:then on the Y axis, this is where I like to think about your goals
Speaker:in respect to control and the amount of control you have
Speaker:over the situation. Now, in this case on the Y axis, I more
Speaker:control is at the bottom, closer to where you are right now. And as you
Speaker:get further up, that's where you start to have less control.
Speaker:Now, if we take the example of a gold medal, you have
Speaker:control over what you do, but you cannot have control
Speaker:over the other people you're competing against. And so when it
Speaker:comes to goals, let's map the idea of an outcome
Speaker:goal. So this is where most of us think about goal setting. It's we'll say,
Speaker:what's the outcome we want to achieve? So the gold medal is a good example
Speaker:of that. The next kind of goal would be a performance
Speaker:goal. This is where it's about your personal performance.
Speaker:So the outcome goal you have the least control over. It's also the furthest
Speaker:away. The performance goal you have more control over,
Speaker:although not immediate control because it takes time to get there. And there are probably
Speaker:some other factors you won't know about from today, but it
Speaker:is a little bit more intermediate. So this is kind of in the middle. And
Speaker:then finally you have your process goal, which is actually the most
Speaker:immediate thing, and you have the most control. And it's sort of
Speaker:where your starting point is. And the process goal is all about the daily action.
Speaker:What do you do next in order to start walking
Speaker:along that path in the direction towards the outcome you want.
Speaker:And I think a lot of the advice is really just saying
Speaker:focus on systems and process and stop looking at that
Speaker:outcome goal. But I think they actually all work together really well.
Speaker:Now, another way you can think about this, if we label the idea of an
Speaker:outcome goal as the destination you'd like to end up with, you just can't
Speaker:necessarily guarantee you'll end up there. The next is the direction,
Speaker:the performance goals, the direction you're moving in. These are looking at
Speaker:signs that you are getting better, you are improving. And then
Speaker:finally the process goal is saying what are these daily
Speaker:actions that I am going to take and I could start taking
Speaker:immediately? And you have the most control of them. What's something I
Speaker:can do today, what's something I could do tomorrow? The other thing
Speaker:that's really nice about the process goal and this daily action is
Speaker:that you can succeed so quickly.
Speaker:And let's look at a couple of examples for this. So first we'll
Speaker:look at the athlete or we'll think about the athlete. So the destination
Speaker:that that outcome goal win a gold. Now the direction they need
Speaker:to move in is this personal best. So their performance goal might be to
Speaker:hit some new personal best targets to get faster or
Speaker:more efficient. It really depends on what sport you're playing. But the
Speaker:daily action is showing up and following your training program. And
Speaker:at the end of the day when you complete your training program, workout check,
Speaker:you've accomplished your goal. You get those small wins over and over and over
Speaker:again and you know exactly what you're supposed to do so that
Speaker:you get better, you move along that direction and that maybe you'll reach
Speaker:that destination. But there's a lot of factors outside of your control.
Speaker:Now if we take a look at another one, which is maybe writing a book,
Speaker:maybe your destination, that outcome is that you would love to have a
Speaker:be a best selling author. You don't have full control over that. You
Speaker:don't know what is going to be released, you don't know how it's going to
Speaker:be received. But maybe you focus your energy on your performance
Speaker:goal which is to write a book, publish a book that is much
Speaker:more within your control and that's also the direction that you
Speaker:need to go anyway if you are eventually wanting to be a best selling author.
Speaker:Now that might be publish a book, might be your performance goal. It could
Speaker:be write the best book I can write on this subject.
Speaker:Really there are lots of ways you can think about performance, but it's all about
Speaker:measuring yourself against an earlier version of yourself. And
Speaker:then the process goal, this is that daily action. What do I have to do
Speaker:to get there? How do I make sure I start walking that path right away
Speaker:and repeat that over and over. So that process goal
Speaker:is that daily action, it's repeatable and it's also effective to get
Speaker:you along that path closer. And another example,
Speaker:maybe you're at work and your ultimate outcome goal,
Speaker:you want a promotion at work that's not fully in your control.
Speaker:You don't know what other candidates are out there, you don't know what they're looking
Speaker:for and if you'll be a fit. But your performance goal or the
Speaker:direction you want to move might be your annual review. You want to make
Speaker:sure that you are getting a really good rating from your boss. And how do
Speaker:I do that? Through daily actions, like documenting your key
Speaker:performance indicators. Maybe you have a weekly or monthly check in with your
Speaker:supervisor. So they're on top of knowing what you're working on and how well things
Speaker:are going and how you're driving forward the outcomes at work.
Speaker:So there are three different examples, but you can start to get a feel
Speaker:for, for how this can look. And when it comes to this advice,
Speaker:I just want to zero in on the fact that I see a lot
Speaker:of content out there around stop setting goals. And I
Speaker:think what's happening is that if we think about the
Speaker:outcome goal, the outcome goal, because it's the least in our control.
Speaker:And it is one of those things where when we miss the mark, we might
Speaker:completely negate all of the work we, we've done, how
Speaker:far we've come along the path that we've been moving in the
Speaker:direction. But because we didn't hit the destination,
Speaker:somehow that means that we have failed. And that can be so
Speaker:dispiriting. That can really get you down. And I, I personally
Speaker:think that you do want to focus on these,
Speaker:the performance goal and also the daily action,
Speaker:really zeroing in on the direction you want to be
Speaker:walking. Because when you know the direction you want to go and
Speaker:you think about, okay, what does that mean for me? How will I know if
Speaker:I'm getting better? How will I know if I'm making improvements? And
Speaker:being able to describe in detail what does it look like if I'm
Speaker:reaching my performance goal or if I'm along the path of my
Speaker:performance goal. And then those daily actions are even more
Speaker:concrete of if I do these things, they're going to move me closer to my
Speaker:performance goal. But I don't think you should
Speaker:completely get rid of the idea of an outcome goal.
Speaker:I think you just need to frame it differently. So in an example
Speaker:where I'll use a very common one for people is if
Speaker:they want to lose weight and their outcome goal,
Speaker:they measure all their success against the outcome goal. If they don't
Speaker:see the number on the scale they want, suddenly it feels like they failed. Even
Speaker:though maybe they've been cooking meals at home, but moving their body more,
Speaker:feeling better in their clothing. But when they walk on that scale all of a
Speaker:sudden it just undoes everything. And so I could see why
Speaker:we want to very loosely hold.
Speaker:And personally what I would like to see from people is
Speaker:this idea that you're honest
Speaker:about the direction you want to go. And I think it's honest to
Speaker:sometimes have that outcome goal. If you say don't set outcome goals,
Speaker:I just, I think people work around it. Maybe you
Speaker:say, okay, well focus more on performance, but you still need to know the direction
Speaker:you're going. And I think typically we as humans will
Speaker:have an objective, a place we want to actually get to.
Speaker:And if we have the proper perspective that at the end of the day the
Speaker:destination is not the most important goal. It's more
Speaker:of an that North Star or that starlight of saying
Speaker:that's the direction I want to go in. So I'm going to focus on my
Speaker:performance of what it would take to get there. But don't attach
Speaker:value of whether I'm worth it or not, depending on if
Speaker:I ever get to that final destination or not. When we then
Speaker:focus more on the performance, what does it look like for me
Speaker:to show up the best version of myself and to stay on this path and
Speaker:work towards this and not hold on so
Speaker:tightly to that outcome? I think that's really important.
Speaker:But to just tell people don't even have an outcome goal I think might
Speaker:be a little bit disingenuous because
Speaker:we just naturally think of things that we want to achieve and I don't think
Speaker:there's anything wrong with wanting to achieve them as long as we have the perspective.
Speaker:And if we can do regular check ins to say, well, first of all, am
Speaker:I following the process goal? Am I taking daily consistent action
Speaker:and is it moving me further along this direction that I want to be going
Speaker:and that direction, that's that performance goal, am I getting better relative to
Speaker:myself? So that later when we look back we, we can
Speaker:celebrate how far we've come from those performance goals
Speaker:without getting hung up on whether or not we landed in the exact place.
Speaker:And oftentimes when people are making progress on
Speaker:moving forward and they're doing something consistently, which is amazing
Speaker:and you should feel good about yourself being able to focus in and
Speaker:look at your goals through that lens of saying, am I a better version of
Speaker:myself today than I was when I started this? That's
Speaker:amazing. And it's hard to take that away from someone. But sometimes we hold so
Speaker:much power in those outcome goals that we do let it erase
Speaker:how much, how far we've come and sometimes we end up somewhere else and
Speaker:it might even be a better place that we end up. So I think loosening
Speaker:our grip on the outcome, focusing more on the performance.
Speaker:That being said, when it comes to goal setting, where do you start?
Speaker:And I do think it usually starts with identifying.
Speaker:Do you have a destination in mind? What is the direction I want to go?
Speaker:And that's completely okay. Then you work backwards and say, all right,
Speaker:so if that's the direction I want to, or that's the destination, what's the direction
Speaker:I need to move? What does the path look like? And what are those
Speaker:daily actions I need to do in order to get there? And that's where
Speaker:we can zero in on what's my process goal do. And when I
Speaker:say process goal, cause you might say, well, that's just the method that you use
Speaker:or the plan that you use. I actually think if a goal is
Speaker:I'm going to write 500 words a day, you can actually check off and say,
Speaker:I've accomplished my goal for today, I've accomplished my goal for
Speaker:the week. If I want to cook at home more saying, wow, I
Speaker:cooked five meals at home this week, that's better. That was my goal and I've
Speaker:done it. It is easier to track and kind of stack up those wins, even
Speaker:though you won't necessarily notice right away the performance, but
Speaker:they start to stack on top of each other. Speaking of,
Speaker:I wanted to share some daily actions that I'll be taking with my
Speaker:experiment. On this podcast. I intend to share
Speaker:current or active experiments that I am going through. And one
Speaker:of the experiments I am zeroing in on, especially over the month of
Speaker:September, but it's going to be for a while, probably at least the next
Speaker:year is around social media, short form
Speaker:content, in particular Instagram.
Speaker:Now, I've been on Instagram for a number of years. I believe
Speaker:I started posting in earnest in 2018, maybe
Speaker:2017. But during the pandemic when I
Speaker:switched my focus and I started teaching about virtual presenting,
Speaker:I didn't know how to translate what I was teaching on YouTube to short form
Speaker:content. And I just kind of stopped. And you know what, at the time I
Speaker:thought, this is fine. I'm getting traction over here on YouTube.
Speaker:And I am just. That is fine with me. I don't really know how to
Speaker:make short form content about content about this. And there was also some other
Speaker:stuff which I will share over the coming weeks around some, some
Speaker:baggage and mindset garbage that I have in my head around
Speaker:whether or not. I'm good at social media and
Speaker:I'm going to be exploring that over the coming weeks. But to start, given that
Speaker:we're talking about goals today, I wanted to share why I'm focusing on this.
Speaker:And in order to share my goals for Instagram and short form
Speaker:content, I first need to share that some of my two
Speaker:big goals professionally is that I want to
Speaker:really earn most of my living as a speaker. I
Speaker:love speaking, that's not a surprise to anyone. And I want to do
Speaker:more of it. And so in order to do that, I need to
Speaker:get out there, I need to start building relationships, I need to start, you know,
Speaker:going and doing more talks and having conversations, et cetera.
Speaker:And what helps a speaker is when you do have an existing audience.
Speaker:Similarly, another goal of mine is I do intend to write a book about
Speaker:the momentum formula. And when you are doing research on
Speaker:books and publishing, it doesn't hurt to have a
Speaker:presence on social media as well. Neither of those things require it.
Speaker:But the fact I want to get my message out there, I want to teach,
Speaker:I want to share, I want people to discover this podcast and
Speaker:using short form content. Using social media is a discovery platform,
Speaker:so it supports some of my other professional goals, but it's also a
Speaker:way for me to teach and get in front of people. But I haven't really
Speaker:been using it for a number of years now, so this does feel like new
Speaker:territory. So over the next few weeks I'm going to share about how I'm using
Speaker:the formula for my method, for my mode and also for my
Speaker:mindset. But just this week I just, I want to share around the goals.
Speaker:Now, as far as the three types of goals,
Speaker:I almost don't want to say it out loud, but when I really think what
Speaker:would be a destination that I would like to land, I would
Speaker:like to be able to have an audience or grow an audience
Speaker:on social media. And on instagram it's over 100,000.
Speaker:I'm currently as I record this today at 1400. So
Speaker:there's a very long way to go. And sometimes when we say those
Speaker:outcome goals out loud, it feels so far away, it can
Speaker:be demoralizing. But that's where you focus on the performance
Speaker:goal. And my performance goal is to make engaging,
Speaker:helpful content that is giving people insight and it's
Speaker:helping them discover other content that I have. And when I
Speaker:put it out there, people are engaging. And so as I continue to
Speaker:practice putting out content regularly, I want it to get better,
Speaker:have higher quality content, figure out what works for people
Speaker:so that I can be proud of how far I've come with my content and
Speaker:that the goal is to be using it to be helpful
Speaker:and offer insights and offer value. I also want as a
Speaker:professional tool to have people come and find the podcast
Speaker:or figure out what I'm doing or maybe if I'm speaking somewhere so it
Speaker:is part of the business. But my, my performance goal
Speaker:is just really about showing up as the best version as I can. And if
Speaker:I look back, I can see how far I've come now from that
Speaker:process goal. It's about making regular short form content
Speaker:on Instagram, which I have not been doing.
Speaker:And next week I'm going to share a little bit more about the method and
Speaker:how I'm using my framework to come up with the method. But first
Speaker:I thought in order to understand how I am using
Speaker:the formula, you got to figure out the what and the why. What do
Speaker:I actually want to do, where do I want to go and why am I
Speaker:doing that? And I'm actively working on this. This
Speaker:is brand new. If you as of recording today, see
Speaker:my account, there are very few posts on there and so I'm planning to change
Speaker:that and you can kind of join along and see,
Speaker:see how it's going in real time if you are following along.
Speaker:But that is my experiment. We're going to circle back and I
Speaker:hope that the perspective on the goals today and
Speaker:looking at them from the destination direction and daily
Speaker:action, or we could say outcome goals, performance goals and
Speaker:process goals is giving you a new lens to think about. And I really
Speaker:encourage you, you can use outcome goals, but don't hold onto them
Speaker:really tight. Really zero in on the performance where you, where
Speaker:you want to be the better version of yourself. And then zero in
Speaker:on just having those process goals of saying, yes, I took
Speaker:action again, I took action again. And that is going to help you
Speaker:to build and keep your momentum.
