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Stop Holding Back Your Team: The Secret to Leading More and Managing Less as a NGO Supervisor
Episode 903rd November 2025 • The Modern Humanitarian and Development Leader: Make a Greater Impact by Creating a High Performance Team while Avoiding Stress and Overwhelm • Aid for Aid Workers
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Do you ever feel like your team can’t move forward without you — that every decision, question, or problem somehow ends up back on your plate?

If you’re constantly answering questions, solving problems, and feeling more like a manager than a leader, you may be unintentionally holding your team back. This episode explores how shifting from “having all the answers” to empowering others can free up your time, build trust, and create a team that thinks — and acts — independently.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • A simple mindset shift that transforms dependency into ownership and initiative.
  • Why managing instead of leading creates stress — and how to reverse it.
  • A powerful, step-by-step conversation tool you can start using today to help your team solve their own problems with confidence.

Press play now to discover how empowering instead of managing can lighten your load, strengthen your team, and make you a more effective, inspiring leader.

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What Is Your Leadership Style?  Free Quiz:

Want to know how to lead better?  It starts by understanding your leadership style.   To

find out yours, take my free quiz “What Is Your Leadership Style” - you’ll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting your team and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.  Just click on the link fill out your quiz and click submit.

 

This podcast empowers international development and humanitarian NGO UN leaders to achieve high performance teams, fostering diversity, inclusion, and wellbeing, overcoming burnout and overwhelm, while maximizing impact and productivity.

Transcripts

Torrey:

Have you ever considered that you might be the one holding back your team?

Torrey:

Find out if that's the case and what to do about it on today's episode.

Torrey:

Welcome to the Modern Humanitarian and Development Leader podcast.

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The podcast helping humanitarian and development supervisors make a

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greater impact by taking control of your time, leading more inclusively

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and empowering your team all the while avoiding stress, burnout and overwhelm.

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I'm your host, leadership coach and former aid worker, Torrey Peace.

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Are you ready?

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Let's get started.

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Hello my aspiring modern humanitarian and development leader, I hope

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you're having a wonderful week.

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So, how do you know if you are holding your team back?

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Some of the symptoms include, you are answering every question that

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they have; when they come to you they're looking for answers and

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they're not bringing their own.

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And instead of feeling like a strong, confident leader, you feel more exhausted.

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And meanwhile, your team is waiting for you for direction

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instead of taking it on their own.

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So, in this episode, you're gonna discover how a simple shift in perspective

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can empower your team and free up your time, while managing instead of

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leading, creates stress for everyone.

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And a practical conversation tool that you can start using today

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to build independence and trust.

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Let's get started, shall we?

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Alright, so this is part, I think, three or four in our CLEAR Leadership series.

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And today, we know we've already talked about having Clarity, Aligning our actions

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and Letting Go of old ways of leading.

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And that has set us all up for this next step, which is to Empower those around us.

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So this is part of the CLEAR model that transforms your team from dependent

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to self-driven or somewhere along that line, but more on the independent scale.

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Because from my experience, many leaders are either at one or the other

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end of this spectrum, and many leaders confuse that managing with leading.

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So, they think that they're leading.

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But remember, the definition of leading means that we have people who, yes, are

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following us - but not because we are telling them what to do, but because we

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are inspiring them to do their best work.

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So, that is where true leadership comes in.

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So a leader does not need to know all the answers, and this is another common

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misconception many of my students have, is that as a leader, you have to know

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it all, and that is just not true.

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Actually, as a leader, and especially as you progress and take more responsibility

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as a leader, you will find that your job is more about surrounding yourself

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with people who have the answers.

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I always make the comparison of, let's say, one of the President Barack

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Obama, or President Mandela, or so many other leaders that we know.

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Do you think that they knew all the answers on how to run an economy for

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a country or so many other things?

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No, they didn't.

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They had teams that they could consult for those things, and

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it's the same way with us.

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As a leader, our job is not to know all the answers, but to help others find

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their own best way, and that creates also a more independent and proactive team.

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So the best way that I have found to empower our teams is through what I

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teach in my course, which is called the Coach Approach Leadership Style.

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And that is basically using 'coaching' as a way of helping

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others find their own solutions.

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So, specifically, the way we do that is, I teach a model

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that I've created called PACT.

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So, PACT stands for, first of all, Problem.

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What is the Problem that they want to resolve?

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We need to define that first and become clear on that first, before we

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go to the rest of the conversation.

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Then we want to look at Alternatives.

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What are the different options that they see for resolving this problem?

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You would be surprised, many times when someone comes to you with a problem,

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they have already thought about it.

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They know the problem, and they probably can come up with better

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solutions than we can, who are more removed from that problem.

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Challenges is the next step.

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So, what might get in the way when they're pursuing some of these options?

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And then, finally, they need to say what are they gonna do

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next, which is Taking Action.

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So this type of conversation structure allows for a much more productive,

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much more efficient conversation, while also empowering our team.

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So, let me share a specific example with you, so that it becomes even more clear.

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This is an example with one of my students, Belmerio

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Jeronimo, from Maluk Timor.

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So, he started applying the Coach Approach with his team, and he found that, for

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example, one time they came back from the field with several challenges, and

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instead of jumping in with solutions, he started using the Coach Approach.

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He asked his team what they thought should happen, encouraged them

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to explore alternatives, and he set a timeline for follow up.

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And, two months later, he was very surprised to see that his team

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had solved their own problems with better solutions, that he might

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have even come up with himself.

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And they were more confident, more proactive, and more responsible for it.

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Belmerio was becoming a modern humanitarian and development

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leader, and his workload, because of using this empowered approach,

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dropped and his team grew stronger.

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That's what Empowerment looks like - it's a win-win.

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You win as a team or as a leader because you are freed up to do other

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things, because your team's not coming to you all the time asking questions.

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They might come to you and have a problem, but you can ask them for solutions

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and so, then they start thinking for themselves and eventually they might

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even not come to you as much because they realize they can find their own way.

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And then also they win because they develop more, they become stronger,

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they become more confident, more motivated in what they can do.

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And so, they take more responsibility and because of that, they grow.

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So, this week, I want you to try having one conversation using the PACT approach.

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Once again, Problem: so, someone comes to you from your team, they

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have a challenge or a problem that they want you to help resolve.

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Instead of solving it for them, resist the urge, and I want you to instead ask them.

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What is the problem that you want to resolve?

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What are some options or ways that you can resolve it, remember, Alternatives.

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Then, Challenges: what are some challenges that might get in the way when you

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take action to resolve this problem?

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And then, finally, what are your next steps - Taking

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Action, what will you do now?

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And see, when you use this approach, how your team responds, but then

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also how the dynamic changes, and

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if

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they seem to become more open and confident and start sharing more

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with you instead of relying on you all the time for all the answers.

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So, next week, we're gonna wrap up the CLEAR Leadership series with

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the final step, which is Resilience.

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I will share how resilient leaders stay grounded and effective

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even when things get tough.

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Alright, until then, keep evolving.

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Bye for now.

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Are you the type of leader that tells others what to do, or do you let

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them figure it out for themselves?

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Understanding your leadership style is a first step to deciding what's

Torrey:

working for you and what's not.

Torrey:

To find out your leadership style, take my free quiz, What is your leadership style?

Torrey:

You'll immediately find out your default style, how it may be impacting

Torrey:

your team, and a few practical ways to become an even better leader.

Torrey:

Just click on the link in the show notes, www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz.

Torrey:

Fill out your quiz and click submit.

Torrey:

So what are you waiting for?

Torrey:

Go to www.aidforaidworkers.com/quiz and discover your leadership style now.

Torrey:

Your team will thank you for it.

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