What does it look like when a man who is wired to strategize and stay in control faces a diagnosis he never expected?

Male breast cancer is rarely discussed, yet it carries the same weight of fear, uncertainty, and identity shift as any cancer journey. In this thoughtful conversation, Rene Valdry shares what it was like to hear the words stage three breast cancer and begin navigating treatment while continuing to show up for work, family, and himself.

Rene and Darcie explore the emotional reality men may struggle to express. They talk about the loss of control, the quiet anger, and the vulnerability of speaking the diagnosis out loud. They reflect on continuing to work during treatment, leaning on trusted friendships, and finding strength through support groups and shared experience.

At its heart, this conversation centers on awareness, community, and the subtle ways cancer reshapes how a person listens, leads, and lives. His story is a reminder that even when life narrows to one step at a time, hope remains steady in connection and presence

Highlights

1. How noticing a subtle physical change during an ordinary workout led to a life-altering diagnosis
2. Why male breast cancer often goes undetected and under-discussed
3. What it means to surrender control when you are wired to strategize outcomes
4. Hear how continuing to work during treatment created stability and purpose
5. Discover the emotional complexity men may experience but struggle to express
6. Learn why community, peer support, and shared experience change the cancer journey

Mentioned Resources:

CanCare - www.cancare.org

Book – www.cancare.org/hopebook

About the Guest:

Rene Valdry is a male breast cancer survivor and advocate raising awareness about a disease most people don't realize affects men. Diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer in 2023 after noticing something unusual during a workout, his journey has deepened his faith and shaped his commitment to supporting others through cancer. Throughout treatment, Rene continued working while leaning on his faith, a support group, and his community. He describes a quiet intuition he's developed: the ability to recognize another cancer survivor before a word is spoken.

Love the podcast? You’ll be moved by the book. The Hope in the Face of Cancer book shares inspiring, real stories from survivors, caregivers, and healthcare heroes. Raw, uplifting, and full of heart—for anyone seeking hope and connection. Get your copy: cancare.org/hopebook.

About Our Host:

Darcie Champagne Wells is the President and CEO of CanCare, Inc., a nonprofit dedicated to providing support to the cancer community by pairing cancer patients with survivors. Since joining in November 2020 as the third President & CEO, Darcie has driven significant growth, increasing one-to-one support matches by 45% and healthcare referrals by 66%. In 2022, she initiated the Impact Acceleration Initiative to further expand support for cancer patients and caregivers. Her leadership has earned her recognition as a “Most Admired CEO” and “Woman Who Means Business” by the Houston Business Journal, and national “Fundraiser of the Year” by RAISE. Darcie holds a BS in Business Administration from Louisiana State University and an MBA from the University of Houston.

https://www.cancare.org/

https://www.facebook.com/CanCareInc

https://www.instagram.com/cancare_inc

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📖 Enjoy the podcast? You’ll love the book.

Check out our book, Hope in the Face of Cancer—a powerful collection of real stories from survivors, caregivers, and healthcare heroes. It’s uplifting, raw, and full of heart. Get your copy at cancare.org/hopebook.

Thanks for tuning in to Hope in the Face of Cancer!

We’re so glad you’re here. If this episode moved you, inspired you, or brought you a little bit of light, please share it with someone who might need it. Just hit the share button on this page or spread the word on social—your voice helps us reach more hearts.

🎧 Never miss an episode!

Subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your favorite podcasts to get updates as soon as new episodes drop.

⭐ Help us grow with a quick review

If you’re enjoying the podcast, leaving a review on Apple Podcasts goes a long way. It helps others discover the show and reminds us that these stories matter. Take a moment to leave a review—we read every one!

📖 Enjoy the podcast? You’ll love the book.

Check out our book, Hope in the Face of Cancer—a powerful collection of real stories from survivors, caregivers, and healthcare heroes. It’s uplifting, raw, and full of heart. Get your copy at cancare.org/hopebook.

Welcome to Hope in the Face of Cancer, where we

share real stories of courageous people in their cancer journey,

today's conversation is with someone who listens closely to

life, someone who notices the quiet shifts, the subtle inner

nudges and the moments that ask us to pay attention.

We are joined by Rene Valdry. Rene is a senior strategist

with Boeing, and in 2023 his life took a turn he did not see

coming. During a moment as ordinary as working out, he

noticed something in his body that felt different. That moment

led him to a mammogram and then to a stage three breast cancer

diagnosis. What followed was a season shaped by courage, faith

and the steady presence of the people who love him, Rene

continued working. He continued living. He found a support group

where honesty and understanding were welcome today, Rene speaks

with a new kind of awareness. He carries a sixth sense that

allows him to recognize a survivor before they even speak.

A knowing that lives beyond language. Rene, thank you so

much for being here today and for sharing your story with us.

Thank you for having me. Absolutely it's such an

important topic, and one I think that doesn't get enough exposure

and that is male breast cancer. So take us back to that stage of

life when you were working out and you're focused on on work

and your health, and you notice something wasn't quite right.

Yes, I I had dedicated myself. I just turned

about 60, and I said, I'm going to start doing things. I'm

really, you know, I've been dragging and drag but eventually

I got to the point where every other day I was doing my aging

push ups, and while I was, you know, fairly good at, you know,

all the little tricky ones and the cool ones that were going

on, my mother was going through metastatic breast cancer, and

she was, you know, taking a turn for the worst. So I kind of just

stopped doing a lot of things and just focused on just making

her comfortable and and making sure that she was getting her

appointments. And when I stopped working out on the left side of

my chest, I found that it was still fairly firm, but the right

side of my chest was, you know, I got flabby so. And I basically

asked my wife, you know that? What does this seem, right? And

she says, you might want to get that checked. And I went to my,

my primary care physician, and they basically said, Well, you

know, men get fatty tissue, so we're just going to do a we're

going to do an ultrasound and and then we're in, actually, was

assigned to at the the test facility. The the doctor had the

sense. He says, Well, let me, I'm going to send this request

back to your doctor and ask for a mammogram.

And what did you think of that moment when you

heard that word mammogram?

I was I was surprised, but I didn't really

think it was going to be, what I what it ended up being, you

know, the diagnosis cancer, so but I mean, my mother passed

away from metastatic breast cancer, my grandmother passed

away from metastatic breast cancer. My aunt, she's a cancer

survivor 20 years and my other we call it the superstar. She's

a survivor pancreatic cancer. So it was like I knew that

something could happen or could but I didn't think it was going

to be me, and I didn't think it was going to be breast cancer.

And that's how my, my journey and my, my new level of self

awareness began.

Yeah, well, tell us about that the moment when

you kind of heard those words, when they broke the news to you

that it was cancer,

there was that initial shock, but the doctor

was very quick to say, you're going to be okay. He said, he

says, Don't think that you have to do something today, tomorrow,

next week. He says we're going to put together a team, and

we're going to assess your situation, and you're going to

be okay. And I was in for me, I'm a very analytical person and

and I I'm like, Okay, well, oh yeah, you have the data, but how

can you tell me I'm going to be okay? You know, that initial

shock and concern, but I think that I was reassured that they

were dedicated to making sure that they were going to do

everything they could to to help me. And I think the first time I

said it, when I said it to my wife, I teared up. You know, I

had that because it's one thing. When you hear it and you say it

to yourself, the vocalization to someone that you care about

deeply, it then it just like the whole initial that's when the

rush of emotion and fear and confusion came into play with

me. So, yeah,

it becomes real when you first speak it out

loud. Yes. Yes. So what was that treatment journey like for you?

It was a it was a challenge, because initially,

the the the mass was fairly large. It was, it was in the

centimeter range. It was on nine centimeters. And so the first

thought my on call, I said, Well, let's try and shrink it

first. So I went through the the Herceptin and all the the the

normal treatments for the six weeks. And when I got to the

last treatment, I couldn't go through with it because I

actually had a gastric bleeding ulcer in my stomach. So I lost,

actually, like, two units of blood, so I had to go into the

hospital, and my oncologist says, We're not going to do the

sixth treatment. We're just going to wait a couple of

months, let you stabilize, and we're going to do the

mastectomy. And I was upset. And she was like, why are you upset?

I said, I started a task. I didn't finish. I wanted to

finish this task. And she goes, Rene, this is not a project.

This is your life.

It's the first time you're like, maybe I'm not

in control of all of

this, right? Oh yeah, I quickly learned that I

was not in control a lot of these things, and I was just

more or less, not so much following orders, but just

really understanding that there's a process, and it's very

it's very meticulous, and to the point where you can't really

just, you can't play around with it. And that's what I think,

that the treatment from there really was, it became a

discipline and even and after and post treatment with the

mastectomy, you know, just relearning how to not do things

because I had also 12 lymph nodes removed my left arm. So I

lost a lot of strength, and it's just so there was things that I

just normally did that I couldn't do anymore. So and just

learning my body, learning how it reacted to the medications,

literally, week one, I knew this was going to happen. Week two, I

knew this was going to happen. Week Three, I was feeling good

knowing that I was going to go for my next treatment at the end

of week three, so that all that stuff came into play in terms of

really understanding the the nature of trying to heal the

body and also being aware of the fact that it's, it's unique to

each person and it's, it's, it definitely is a journey when

they talk about the the the medical side and also the the

mental side of it,

being someone you know in the corporate world

who's used to, you know, developing a plan and working

the plan and seeing controlled outcomes. I'm curious what was

harder for you, was it, you know, the treatment itself on

the body, or was that more of that lack of control of the

process and the outcome that was harder for you.

For me, it was more the lack of control, because as

part of my job, you know, when I'm working with Boeing strategy

is five years is something that, you know that's, that's what I

normally do, two or three years. But, you know, I'm used to

looking at things 20 years out and kind of thinking about where

we need to be, and that was the most frustrating thing, because

I had come to a mental juncture where I said, I can't even plan

out my life for 20 years. I have to really look not so much that

I'm not concerned about but I'm so focused on the short term

that it's it's counter intuitive to what I have a discipline that

I have developed over time. So that was probably the most

difficult thing, stepping back and saying that I can't control

this. I can't strategize this. I have to really be open to the

ebbs and flows, and whether I'm going to be going to the left or

the right, and being able to try and manage it mentally. But the

physical part, I kind of pretty much was pretty, pretty

disciplined about, you know, eating right and all that stuff.

And, I mean, I cheated every now and then I had to have a little

gumbo.

But for the most part, pass up the gumbo I get

that.

Oh, definitely, you know, I knew I was going to pay

for it. But you know, some things that, you know, I felt I

had to treat myself because it was also that was a motivating

factor too, you know, just not feeling bad all the time.

Yeah, yeah. So I'm curious that release of control,

you know, once you got through your treatment journey and kind

of went back to work, did you find yourself? Did it change you

in terms of how you approached your work at all? Or did you

kind of just go back to, okay, I'm taking control like

I think one thing that it made me listen more, I

think for the most part, I was always, I always had an opinion

about what was going to happen, where what I was. Going to do

and and already thought about how I was going to respond, the

the the usual suspects at the office. I knew where they were

coming from. It's like I so it became more, more of a a

situation where I was more collaborative, more open to

listening, as opposed to putting on my my battle gear and going

to war.

Okay, I can see where that might have changed

you for the better, in some ways, made you a little bit more

open to, you know, other opinions and experiences, for

sure.

Oh yes, definitely. I'm

curious about, obviously, we don't hear a lot

about male breast cancer. Don't hear enough about it as you were

going through that journey. Did you have the benefit of

interacting with any other male breast cancer patients or

survivors at that time?

Initially, I didn't, and it was kind of just

relying upon all the ladies in my life who helped me along the

way and encouraged me. And I did happen to I was sharing it with

a fraternity brother, and basically he told me, he says,

Hey, one of your fraternity brothers actually is going

through this right now, and we actually made some connections,

and he and all the things that I was sharing with him, he says,

yep, went through that. Yep, went through that. And, and he

was always, he was a little older than me, and he was very

cerebral person who I respected a lot as a as an undergrad. He

just, really just told me, said, You know, you you have to be

ready and to deal with change. There's a amount, a certain

amount of resiliency, and you have to be open. And I think

that was some of the most valuable advice that he gave me,

and and he actually, for him, it turned him around towards he he

was did a lot of research, and he started gearing his research

towards cancer treatments and new technologies, because he had

a it became a passion for him,

yeah, yeah. It became a little bit more of a

purpose for him. Was that settling for you, you know,

meeting someone, talking to someone who had been down the

path that you were walking?

Yes, it was. I mean, because when you there's

always that sense of not so much loneliness, but when there are

people around you who who aren't experiencing it, you

internalize, well, they don't know. They don't understand. And

so it was, it was settling, and it was calming for me to to know

that that number one, that another man was going through

it, and then another black man was going through it as well.

So, I mean, that was the one, because I always like to, I

would always joke with my oncologist. I like, I'm your

unicorn, you know. So,

yeah, so now you you knew there was a tribe out

there of people just been through what you're going

through. I think inherently, men are less apt to verbalize the

emotions of any experience cancer being one of them, and

you talked about that in a moment when you finally said it

out loud and broke down a little bit, and the loss of the control

that you're so used to having. Were there other emotions that

were surprising to you in that experience? I know our listeners

would be interested to hear like, what is a man facing

breast cancer feeling, you know? So can you share a little bit

more about that?

I think the certainly, the the physicality

of it, I mean, the the appearance, you know, because

when I have my mastectomy, my surgeon said, Well, do you want

reconstructive surgery? And I'm like, you know, I said, I don't

run around with a shirt off anyway, so anything I mean,

people will notice that there might be a little difference in

elevations, but so that was the weird thing. But I think the

other emotions that I went through was members of my

family. Sometimes they they I got the perception, or they gave

the perception that I was always okay, because I was always

trying to do things. I was trying to stay busy. I was

trying to to be physically active. And they took it as

well. Since Rene is okay, I don't have to do anything. I can

be lazy. So I, I lashed out at them, you know, and I was very,

I was very angry, and I had a lot of emotions, because I'm

like, you know, I'm doing this because I need to do this

mentally so I can be in a good place, but I feel you're taking

advantage of me, and that just really bothered me to an extent

where I just had to, I. For every time I as I say, I will

pop off. I will come back and apologize to them. I would just

say, you know, I'm sorry that I did this, but I'm just at a at a

place in my life where I'm emotional, and I've never been

that emotional before. So that was probably the most difficult

thing, just to manage the emotional I knew that I wasn't

taking anything from a hormonal perspective that would have

altered my I think it was just the mental thing of just yeah

that you don't understand, and not being able to really deal

with it, and having to learn how to to walk back some of the

things that I would do and say,

Yeah, how did they respond to, you know, your

directness and feedback.

They're like talking to walls. They show no

emotion, so and so. And I would literally, I would look at them

and I would say, Okay, I think I've wasted enough breath here,

and I want to, because I said, The Lord has given me so many

breaths, and you guys have used them. So I'm just going to walk

away and go and go cut the grass. So I mean, they, they're

very different from me in terms of emotions and things of that

nature and but I kind of knew that I was hoping that I would

be able to to get some type of, you know, change from them, but

I learned that you're not going to change people. So really,

just focus on yourself.

Yeah, that's, you know, people around you can be

such an impact to how you're, you know, managing and

processing a journey like this, and it's, you know, even more

challenging when you feel like you're not surrounded by people

who understand and can support you emotionally in that. So I

know that that must have been challenging with the history

that you have in your family. I mean, just the consistent, you

know, generations facing cancer has that impacted at all that

you know, younger generations coming up kind of how they're

handling their health, or their proactivity around their health,

I don't know, but I know I've, I've been very

adamant with my sister about getting her mammogram and

following up. And she shared, she shared with me. Says, Yeah,

my doctor didn't believe you me when I told him, I told her that

my brother had breast cancer.

I said, doctor didn't believe that. That's

amazing.

Yeah, and, and so and, and so I really pushed her,

and she came back the other day. She goes, I have my mammogram,

and everything's okay. And she says, they just going to, she

says, I have some dense tissue, so they want me to do an MRI. I

said, Okay, now, when they do the MRI, I was giving her all

kind of coaching and tips, and said, Now, now the key is you

need to make sure you do this and this and this and these are

kind of questions you have to ask so, so that was kind of like

a little victory there. But, and I think from from the younger

I'm the on the on the maternal side, I am the oldest

grandchild. So I think that I don't know that I had an impact

on them from a testing and early, you know, diagnosis

perspective, but I think they understand that there are things

going on in our family that, you know, they really need to pay

attention to their health. So I think that kind of had a was

very impactful to a certain extent.

Yeah, be a little bit more on alert and proactive

in that. So you continued working through your treatment.

And I'm I would imagine there are people listening to our

conversation today who are going through that too, working

through a treatment. What kind of led you to decide to kind of

continue to to work through this, and what was that like for

you, and how did you handle it at work?

Well, I think what led me to it was I am very goal

oriented, and I I get a lot of gratification out of achieving

interim milestones. And what I've always found is that at

work, there was always a sense of process procedures. There's

always a way of collaborating and engagement that I could rely

upon to be there and to be that was not going to change to a

certain extent. So I had that sense of of comfort and

confidence that I could focus and I could feel good about

achieving something. So that was certainly helpful. And I think

my oncologist said that because she initially, she told me, You

should go on medical and then she goes, No, I saw the

difference in you in terms of having something to do, having

something to focus on and and I think the only and the other the

downside was there were days where right after about a couple

of days after chemo. And when I was coming off of the

supplemental steroids, I would just not be able to focus. And

so I talked to my leadership, I said, these are the days where

I'm going to have to be on a PTO. I mean, I'll probably,

you'll see me log back online maybe in two in the morning. But

I just that mental focus. I think that when you're going

through the treatment it you have to be able to say, Okay,

now I need time to rest for myself. I need to set aside and

really let my body deal with this. And then my leadership

team was very they were very accommodating and put me on a

lot of special projects. So I think I have more brain fatigue

than body fatigue just because they said, Well, we know you

can't do this, so you're going to be thinking a lot. And I

really was, and so I, I think that really helped me, just just

to it was, it was motivating, because I think I would have

been able to sit there and just probably would have blown

through all of the streaming things that I watched in

probably a month, and just really gotten on my wife's

nerves, for sure.

Well, I would imagine it also gave you a

little bit of a sense of control, like this is something

I'm familiar with. I can control. It's reliable. And so

in a in a place where, you know, there's a lot of uncertainty

around you, I would imagine that that gave you some comfort, you

know, to have something steady.

Definitely, it was just, it was like just having

that building that you knew that you could lean on and it wasn't

going to fall

Yeah, now that's good. What other kind of

practices did you implement during your cancer journey to

kind of help you physically, mentally, you know, what kind of

nuggets might you want to share with our audience about how,

what kind of got you through your cancer journey?

Well, certainly the changing my eating habits, you

know? I mean, I, I basically was a seafood diet. I saw it and I

ate it and and that was so that was really a change there, and

really watching what I put into my body. And I think the the,

the real change was just think, listening to myself, you know,

really listening to how I felt and what I needed to do, and

just, I think, unto a certain set. I had a I had, I still have

a very close friend network. I mean, I, I'd say I have, I have

four friends, and I still have one finger left for another

friend. And these relationships with the course of 40 years, and

they were very instrumental in in supporting me and just just

checking on me, just out of the blue, I would get a text message

or a call, and I think that that was really helped me quite a bit

to know that other folks were thinking about you. Because, you

know it, there's always the attitude people say, Well, I'm

praying for you. I'm thinking about you. No, they were truly

thinking about me. And they made it a point to let me know that,

what are you doing? How are you doing this? And and then, and

they'll give me that little squid like, Are you sure you

were really doing this? Because I know you, you know, so I think

that support network was really, really helpful.

Yeah, absolutely. And I understand that your

support network grew. Found a support group that you started

attending. What made you decide to reach out and find something

like that for you?

And it was actually my oncologist recommended it,

because at that time, at that juncture my treatment, I was

with thought that there might have been some spread and, and I

was, I went back into the, the scared, confused, nervous mode.

And my uncle, well, you know, this is, this is a pure group

that you need to probably check out and, and I think that that

group was very dynamic in that because there were people who

were in different stages of of treatment, of dealing with the

realities. Some were terminal, and we really focused in on life

and just accepting and understanding the situation and

just learning how to deal with the emotions of life ending and

and it. And the interesting thing was, it wasn't from a

cancer perspective. It was really from it's like some of us

know what can impact our. Lives, and some of us don't, and we

just looked at that journey in terms of everybody's going to

have to deal with this at some point, and just being able to

mentally prepare and to realize that how it is a part of life.

And some cycles are shorter than others. And that was really very

impactful to me, because we tend to get caught in our daily

grinds, in our rat races, and all the other things that that

tend to distract us from the cycle of life in that kind of

brought me into a little sense of peace in terms of making sure

that you know to a certain extent, you know preparation,

but also feeling comfortable with what could happen, and also

trying to help others, let them know that you're comfortable

with it, and to not feel bad or feel sad for you, but to

celebrate the moment and be you know, part of our living life

right now, as opposed to thinking about not being with

one another.

Do you think your journey has kind of made you

appreciate the smaller moments, or kind of that seize the day

mentality a little bit more. Has it changed your perspective?

Most definitely. I mean, it's the little things

now. I mean, like, I'm out cutting the so in the urban area

Los Angeles, you don't see a lot of things. So I mean, I was

cutting the grass at my dad's house, and I heard something

weird, and I looked up, and it was a woodpecker. I had never

seen a woodpecker in the city of Los Angeles, right? So, I mean,

it's, I mean, just little things that I mean just, I normally

just, I'm not aware of I'm just listening more, I'm looking at

things more. And I just, I just kind of turned off the mower and

just sat there and watch it do its thing. I mean, just, you

know, something, just little things that I started to really

appreciate. And just like my mom had a, she still has a pretty

good garden, I tried to keep it up. And there's this, there's

this one fire dragonfly that comes about every summer, and

literally, she could, I don't I know it's not the same

dragonfly, but I was about

to ask you, how do you know it's

the same I kind of wonder. Because she could walk

up within six inches of this, this insect, and take a picture

of him. And sure enough, every summer, red dragonfly comes and

sits on that stick. And we get our iPhones, and we take our

pictures, we get these amazing close ups. So, I mean, it's

little things like that that, I mean, before just I wouldn't

even notice it. Now it's just like, I sit back and enjoy it.

Yeah, yeah. We talk about the gift of cancer

often times. And, you know, it's counterintuitive, but we hear

many people like yourself who have found themselves just

appreciating the the what we would consider the smaller

things in life, but that are the most beautiful. What would the

gift of cancer be? For you?

I really pondered that, you know, I've thought

about it, and I think it's awareness for others and myself,

and just in the sense that there's something at work that's

bigger than me and I have a role to play, and I have been Given a

an opportunity, and I say as an opportunity, to share and impart

experience and knowledge. Because for a while, you know, I

didn't, I didn't think I added value. I mean, certainly I've,

I'm not going to say that. I didn't think I was a sharp guy

or I didn't have any any knowledge, but I didn't think I

added value to the society at large, or to to others who who

could benefit from something. And now I think that's what that

gift is. It's, it's, it's a sense of empowerment that I can

share something that's that I've experiencing. And not going to

say hope, but to assurance, to know that others are going

through what you're going through, and not to let it take

control of you, to try and do your best to control as much as

you can. You can't control everything, but at least try to

have the opportunity to to grab on to what you feel is that you

can control, you can find confidence in and support in and

just just hold it just tight.

I'm also I'm hearing, maybe a greater sense

of connection. Did this, that maybe prior to cancer, you were

kind of a little bit more of a lone soldier doing your thing,

and then now you've got just this innate sense of being

connected to people around you. You think that would be an

accurate statement?

Yeah, you know it is. I always, because I always

thought, you know, the people in my life were there because I

made good decisions. I was a good friend. I was, you know,

supportive everything. But no, I think that there was there was

it was a symbiotic thing. I think that there was a

realization that I had some qualities and that they were

proven to be valuable when I was not the superstar that I thought

I was. I mean, those, those those relationships really

support, yeah, and like, like, what is the the Lillian, who,

who you guys have introduced me to you as well. I mean, we had

been friends since college, and we always kept in touch, and we

had a very brother sister relationship. I hope there was a

school. I mean, it was and that carried on, even to when she was

diagnosed and and I actually was afraid to tell her, because I

didn't know, because sometimes when a person's going through

something, you don't know how they're going to react when they

hear someone else is going through it as well. And and so I

told her, and she asked all the the questions, you know, in

terms of the treatments and diagnosis, and then she ended

and she says, you're going to be okay, and I'm just like, but you

don't know. Then I said, she does know.

Yeah, she's got some credibility in that state.

Yes, she is. Yeah, she's definitely, does. She's

incredible. You have described that there's like a quiet

recognition when you meet another person facing cancer,

another survivor. Tell us about that. What is that like?

I don't know how to describe it. It's like a I don't

say things, yeah, it's kind of like, you know, you kind of, can

you see it in their eyes? I mean, just in terms of the the

the sense of, I'm dealing with something, but I'm not going to

let it control me. I'm going to live my life, and I'm going to,

I have an agenda, and it's, it's, I want to say, kind of

like exuding, like an inner strength, but it's kind of like

it, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's admirable, because

you have the emotion of caring and concern that I've noticed,

what I've I've approached someone, but also, There's also

that motivating factor. So it's, it's, it's kind of weird to

describe. I think the first time my wife and I were at lunch, and

I it was right at Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and there was

some ladies, and they were all in pink and and we were leaving

the restaurant, and I just had to stop and tell them, said, You

know, I said, Said, I'm a thriver right now, but I'm

hoping to be a survivor. And they all just smiled, and they

just kind of clapped, and I just, that was the first time I

just spoke out to a stranger like that, because, but it was

just that bond there, and just you just, it's, it's amazing,

and it's also the the emotions as well. When you you could, you

can tell when folks are at certain stage their treatment,

whether you know they like some. You know now that you always

can't tell by hair, but certainly you can sometimes. You

can tell by sometimes folks that their strength. You can tell

they're moving a little slower, or they're just, they're just

kind of, it's just the way they're. It's tough to describe.

I'll say they're carrying themselves, but you could tell

that they're, they're, they're struggling with something, yeah,

yeah.

And you've got an antenna now that's probably

pretty sensitive, you know, to those things. And I would

imagine, has made relationships deeper or even strangers feel

closer?

Yes, it really has. I mean, some of my best buddies

now, it's like they're always checking on me and in the

conversations are not as, you know, superficial. They are

really about, you know, talking about health, talking about, you

know, just to say, well, you know, you know, it may not be

breast cancer for you guys, but it certainly can be. Can be

prostate cancer, it can be colon cancer. It can be. A number of

things, that the main thing is to just be one with your health

and just kind of early, early detection. You know, that's why

the most important thing having those conversations with your

primary care physicians?

Absolutely, I want to ask you a few, a quick, rapid

fire questions. So I'm going to, I'm going to ask you something.

You just say whatever word or idea comes to mind, what word

would best describe your cancer journey?

Oh, I would say challenging but rewarding.

That's good comfort food you leaned on

during treatment.

Definitely a nice warm pot of gumbo.

I can relate to that. I'm from South Louisiana

myself, so I get it. How about a song that always lifted your

mood?

Oh, it's dated, but that song was for real happy.

Oh, yeah, absolutely. I mean, how can you

not smile? Yeah?

You know that really just, it wasn't much to

think about. It wasn't much lyrics, but just it just kind of

just got me

going, Yeah. Kind of makes me want to dance, yeah,

even though it's the old but it's still, I mean,

I would listen to it, just to get me on Absolutely.

How about something you now cherish more

than you did before?

Let's say my wife, the support. I mean, you know, I

just, it's one thing when you you know that support is there,

but the the amount of, you know, giving that she went through,

she made sure that she was there for all of my appointments, and

basically, you know, having a little whack a mohammer on the

head to me to make sure that I was staying on the course. And

really just, I think, the one thing, and it's still, even to

this day, she will always say, Where's your mask? Because I'm

still under treatment, and so I'm still, you know, susceptible

to infection. And she's, she is just the she is my guardian

angel. I mean, she's she, she reminds me, even when I don't

want to do things that you have to do this, you know, because

this is important for the both of us.

Yes, our caregivers are certainly the

unsung heroes of the cancer journey. For sure. Yes. So there

may be someone listening right now who has been newly diagnosed

with cancer, whatever that cancer might be, and unsure of

what comes next. What message of hope would you want to leave

with them today?

My message would be just to have faith in your team.

If you are fortunate enough to have a medical team that

supports you and that listens to you and understands you and

really and just to know that it's going to be a journey

that's going to have, I like, see, it's, it's like, that bad

road that you're driving, you're going to Have some potholes, but

you're going to hit some smooth spots and enjoy those smooth

spots, but realize that it's, it's, I'm not gonna say it's not

for the faint of heart, but it will definitely make you a

stronger person. Yeah, it you just you, you come out

different, and you come out for the better. I mean, you learn

more about yourself, learn about things that you you didn't think

you were going to be able to do when you were on the front end

of it, and you're going to feel like, like you're a little

superhero.

I love that. Thank you for that, and thank you for

sharing your story and helping to, you know, raise awareness

about male breast cancer, but I'll just also just being very

real with us today about your journey and the emotions I know

sometimes it's harder for men to express, and so valuable. So I

just applaud what you're doing and how you've taken this

experience and used it to pay it forward and to help others along

their journey. Thank you.

Thank you for having me just like this is the

price I pay for the space I occupy now.

And I want to thank all of our listeners for

joining us for this episode of hope in the face of cancer. If

you or someone you love is facing cancer, CanCare is here

to support you. Visit us @ Cancare.org to learn more. If

you have walked through your own cancer journey and you want to

support others, like Rene does today. We ask you to visit us

and learn more about becoming a volunteer until next time,

remember, there is always Hope in the Face of Cancer.