Shownotes
What if the wall you keep hitting isn’t a strategy problem—it’s a younger part of you trying to keep you safe? Former U.S. Marine turned transformational coach Bobbie Maloy joins us to unpack how unhealed experiences quietly steer our careers, relationships, and leadership…and how to reclaim your direction with deep self-trust.
We talk about:
- Why “external noise” (opinions, trends, even well-meaning advice) keeps high achievers playing small
- How the body remembers what the mind minimizes—and simple ways to read those signals
- Timeline work and re-parenting: finding the origin of a pattern so the “symptom” finally shifts
- Using confidence on demand to take the next aligned action (calls, posts, pitches)
- When group work accelerates healing—and when 1:1 support is best
Bobbie is the author of Healing Your Inner Child and creator of The Aligned Self Method. Grab her free guide, Tap Into Unlimited Confidence in 5 Minutes, at alignedselfmethod.com/confidence and use it the next time resistance pops up.
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Grab a free Client Acquisition Audit and I’ll show you exactly where your message, offer, and CTA are leaking conversions—and the 3 fixes to turn your podcast/Substack into a client pipeline.
👉 Book here: https://coachsalchemist.com
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Transcripts
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What if the reason you keep hitting the same wall in your career or business isn't lack of strategy, but an unhealed part of you that's been running the show all along? In this episode, we'll uncover how to break free from the invisible limits, tap into deep self-trust, and finally move from stuck to unstoppable. Hi, and welcome to the UWorld Order Showcase Podcast, where we feature life health transformational coaches and spiritual entrepreneurs stepping up to
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: be the change they seek in the world. I'm your host, Jill Hart, The Coaches Alchemist, on a mission to help coaches and entrepreneurs amplify their voice, monetize their mission, and get visible. If you're ready to start attracting premium clients without chasing algorithms or hunting people down like a banshee on a mission, head over to Coachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the first step to building a business where your clients seek you out rather than you having to hunt them down. Today, we are chatting with Bobby Malloy. Bobby is a transformational coach, author, speaker, entrepreneur, and former U.S. Marine who helps leaders and organizations break through hidden barriers that hold back performance. With a unique blend of mental toughness and emotional intelligence, Bobby
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Bobby empowers professionals to build unshakable self-trust, adapt to challenges, and align their work with purpose. As the author of Healing Your Inner Child and creator of The Aligned Self Method, she brings proven strategies that help high achievers move from stuck to unstoppable. Welcome to the show, Bobbi. It's great to have you with us.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Thank you, it's great to be here.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Alright, let's ask you the big question, are you ready?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Let's do it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What's the most significant thing, in your opinion, as individuals, we can do to make an impact on how the world is going?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Stop listening to external sources.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So there's way too much noise out here. If you're watching, you know, if you're just listening, there's too many external noises, and we…
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::Bobbie Maloy: as a people, as individuals, don't listen internally enough to what we should do, how we should move. We listen way too much to other people's opinions.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And…
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::Bobbie Maloy: It's part of the reason that ultimately we're gonna get into. It's a lot of the reason why people don't succeed doing what it is that they're going after.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love this. And I can imagine your marine training really has fed into this, because boot camp, from what I understand, is about stripping us back to the very basics and making everybody the same, and then we can start
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Layering stuff on.
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::Bobbie Maloy: For sure.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well, yeah, it definitely had a lot to do with my life. I actually went to boot camp twice. I got hurt the first time and sent home.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And, that's exactly what happened. So I was 18, and, you know, they strip away…
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::Bobbie Maloy: What you… you know, kind of who you are, and and all the way down to, like, you don't exactly think you're very… you're worth much.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Well, that's when I got hurt and sent home.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Is after they had stripped away our ego.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so, I went through a pretty low period shortly after that, like, depression and everything, because I had just been told, like, I'm lower than… well, oh, let's see, the PC version is I'm lower than whale poop, and that's at the bottom of the ocean.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So, think about where my mental state was after I had gotten hurt and sent home.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Well, I pulled myself…
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::Bobbie Maloy: over time, out of that to being a little bit less than feeling like I'm… I'm…
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::Bobbie Maloy: The lowest person in the world.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then I lost the job that I had at the time, and I was like, oh man, I'm gonna try and go for this other position.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And,
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::Bobbie Maloy: But they wanted my military records, because they knew that I had at least a little bit of military service. The only place I knew to go to talk about anything to the military was the recruiter again, so 6 weeks later, I was in boot camp again.
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::Bobbie Maloy: From there, I actually did make it through, graduated as a Marine, but that's exactly what happened. They couldn't tear me down the second time, because they'd already done that once, and I'd pulled myself out of that.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then they added and layered on top of that, here's all the things that you learn and can do and build, and this level of confidence.
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::Bobbie Maloy: That you get from being in the military, and that was one of many
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::Bobbie Maloy: things that I had gone through, where…
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::Bobbie Maloy: You kind of hit that rock bottom, and then you build yourself up, and it's very similar for a lot of things that people do these days.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, I… those recruiters… Every time.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Yes, they do, especially when you're in the, you know, kind of of that age. You're floating around going, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Who do I go talk to? They're very good, and they're very persuasive, for sure.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I remember doing that with my daughter. So, how… how did you…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Morph into what you're doing now, which is helping people really
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Listen to their inner… inner voice, rather than listening to what everybody's telling them to do.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Well, and, you know, when you talk about
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::Bobbie Maloy: all of those different types. I've transformed my life several times over since being an adult, and as someone who, at one point in time, I was living the American dream, right?
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::Bobbie Maloy: I got my college degree. Well, I was in the military, I got my college degree, I was married, I had the… almost the biggest house in the neighborhood, weighed everything except for the white picket fence, I had a six-figure job.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And I was miserable. But I didn't realize it at the time. See, that's the key.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I didn't realize that… that what was going on, I knew something was off.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And I wasn't sure what it was.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then, I started doing some self-help. I'm a recovering self-help junkie, we can talk about that too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We all.
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::Bobbie Maloy: the books, the courses, the seminars, you name it, I've probably done it, looked into it, got the book, got the t-shirt, all the things.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But I started realizing that I was living a life of other people's choices.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And sure, I was successful at it. I was making 6 figures a year.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But I didn't want to get up in the morning to go to work.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I was in a marriage that, from the outside, looked amazing.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It wasn't very healthy.
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::Bobbie Maloy: At all, for me.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And again, I didn't realize it. I didn't know what was going on at the time. I found out a lot more after we got divorced.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But I was living the American dream. Why was I… why was something off? Why was I not…
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::Bobbie Maloy: happy. Everybody told me I had everything that everybody else wants.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's… really where I started to sit in some very uncomfortable moments of asking, well, what does
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::Bobbie Maloy: Bobby won.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And I couldn't answer that. That's how bad I had gotten.
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::Bobbie Maloy: To where… My career choice was because somebody else told me I'd be good at it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then, every move and jump in the career, you'd be good at this, you'd be good over here, hey, you'd be good working for these guys.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And they were right!
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::Bobbie Maloy: But that wasn't… it wasn't my choice. I was just like, oh, okay, and I would follow that path.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And…
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::Bobbie Maloy: that happened in a lot of… I mean, in a lot of things. I followed my ex-husband around, but he wouldn't follow me around.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so what I found was I couldn't answer the question, what does Bobby want?
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::Bobbie Maloy: And I sat with that uncomfortableness for a lot longer than I care to really, espouse, because it was a while.
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::Bobbie Maloy: In that uncomfortable moment.
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::Bobbie Maloy: in that uncomfortableness. And… That's when I realized something had to change.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so…
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::Bobbie Maloy: I didn't know what I wanted to do. I didn't know that I wanted to do this, obviously, at the time.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But I did start to make changes in my life. And each change pointed me more and more and more towards what it is that I'm doing now. And then ultimately, I'm just like, why am I… why am I piddling around over here, doing all of these different things?
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::Bobbie Maloy: when I keep coming back to this idea that
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::Bobbie Maloy: If I can… if I can make it through some of these things.
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::Bobbie Maloy: then maybe I can reach back, and this is this, you know, I learned this in the Marines, if I can make it through, but somebody behind me is struggling.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Well, then I sure as hell better make sure they get over it, too.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah. And so that's… that's where…
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::Bobbie Maloy: You know, that's kind of how this all came about, was this idea that Nobody should have to struggle.
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::Bobbie Maloy: as hard as I have at times, and some people certainly struggle way more than I do.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Nobody should have to struggle that hard to find a calling and a passion and do something that lights them up in the world.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. And there are so many people that are struggling with just that. They're… they're in…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They're in relationships that look great from the outside, and they have the kids, and the two… the picket fence, and the big house, and… and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: their yards are just so, and they go on all the vacations they're supposed to go on, and it's like, you look at their lives in…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I… to be honest, I don't look at them the same way as I used to, but…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: when I was young, I would look at them and think, oh, God, they just have it all together, their lives are so perfect.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I want my life to look like that. Yeah.
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::Bobbie Maloy: American dream, right?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's the American dream.
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::Bobbie Maloy: We do. It's what we're supposed to want.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But it's really the American nightmare.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Because you get trapped in a job, you get trapped in a house, and I live in a small house by choice these days. I've had the McMansions.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: With, you know, the 7 bathrooms, and 87 bedrooms, and it's just like, I am a slave to this house, just to keep it, you know, not filthy.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I'm working all the time!
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I don't… I don't want to do that.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And my kids all slept in my bedroom, so it was like…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: We have all this space?
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::Bobbie Maloy: I had… like I said, I had the perfect life, but it wasn't by my choice. Now, I want to say that because it doesn't sound very empowering when you say that it wasn't by your choice. I obviously made choices along the way.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Oh, yeah.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But I made choices based off of what other people said. And that's where I can look back at it and go, huh.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I can certainly tell why my life is…
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::Bobbie Maloy: kind of haphazard, the reality was, I didn't have a destination I was going towards.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And again, I don't know who says it. I've actually got to look this quote up, because I know it's… I know you can. If you don't know where you're going, any road will get you there, right? Somebody way smarter than I am said that, and it's… it's… it's right. And I was on the path to any… of any road.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I didn't know where I was going. I couldn't answer what did I want.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so, any road was getting me there, and… and it was… it was working
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::Bobbie Maloy: But it wasn't. Makes sense.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so once I decided.
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::Bobbie Maloy: let me actually put something into my GPS. Let's not just let the map take me where it's gonna take me. Let's put an actual destination to this GPS of life.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's when things started to change. That's when…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Now, it wasn't perfect, like, don't get me wrong, like, the moment I put a GPS signal in, it wasn't, here's all highways and there's no traffic.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Or reroutes, or any of that. Nope, because, I mean, I don't know if anybody else drives way better.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Barriers start appearing out of nowhere.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Or if you drive like I do, which sometimes is, you know, you're in your head or you're doing anything but, you know, obviously paying attention to the driving aspect of it, you miss your turn.
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::Bobbie Maloy: You take the wrong turn. You're like, oh no, I totally know a better way than the GPS is telling me.
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::Bobbie Maloy: and you end up having to take U-turns, or it's, like, recalculating route.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And the reality is that's what life does to us anyways, right? Life is…
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::Bobbie Maloy: you know, the universe, God, Source, whatever you want to call it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: is the GPS system for us, so you've got to give it a destination, and then it will sit there, and it doesn't say, oh, you took a wrong turn. Give up forever.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It says, Recalculating route.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes it says, you turn and go back, because there's no way I can get you from this point to where you're trying to go.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I think there's a Japanese-Chinese proverb that says, if you're on the wrong train, get off, because the longer you're on it, the farther you have to go back.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And sometimes we hit those in life, right? Because sometimes even the GPS is like, I don't know how to get you from here to where you want to go, so I need you to turn around.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's… That's where we make these choices in life.
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::Bobbie Maloy: that as long as we have our North Star, what is it that's internal to us? Because if we're listening to all of these external voices, and…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Voices from the past, voices from, you know.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Pick a news organization, or a friend, or parents, or any authority figure.
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::Bobbie Maloy: That says, oh, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
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::Bobbie Maloy: You're listening to all of this out here, And it's… it's confusing you.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's…
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::Bobbie Maloy: that's why I do what I do, is because there's so many people that pay attention to the wrong signals, and then wonder why they're left with playing small, bumping up against, like, obstacle after obstacle after obstacle.
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::Bobbie Maloy: You know, and or just, they're not living their purpose in life.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Walking through a maze.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It is.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It is.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And having a sense of direction, even if you internally don't feel like you're like, oh, I don't know where North is, you don't need to know where North is, you just need to know where you're… where you're ultimately trying to get to, and truly trust
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::Bobbie Maloy: That it will happen for you.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But you also still have to make the movements, and you have to make the change.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And working with you, I think people can shortcut that.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Oh, yeah, absolutely, because I don't tell people what to do. Like, let's be honest. Like, any… any coach worth their… their…
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::Bobbie Maloy: their weight, especially in this, you know, this type of industry. I'm not gonna sit there and say, oh, well, here's the things that you need to do. You have enough noise outside to do that. If you want to know how to do something.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Google it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: you'll find… the step-by-step play on how to do it. If you want to know
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::Bobbie Maloy: what to do. I will show you how to listen to yourself.
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::Bobbie Maloy: and get out of your own way, because the biggest… I mean, like, I don't know about you, but have you ever heard that little voice in your head that says, oh my god, you're not good enough for this, why are you doing this?
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Or that little voice that says, who are you to be sharing this with the world?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Or that little voice that's like…
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::Bobbie Maloy: They find out we're a fraud.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? We all have those.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But that's not us.
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::Bobbie Maloy: We're listening to…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes, years upon years upon years, and if you're like me, you've got decades upon decades of… of…
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::Bobbie Maloy: crap that we've built up. And the reason why this happens, because there's a lot of people that are like, well, why are we like this?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Our brains are hardwired to find problems.
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::Bobbie Maloy: They are very good at it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It's the keypad.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: safe.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Yeah, it's designed to keep us safe. It's designed to say, is there a saber-toothed tiger around the corner, and do I have to run? Like, our brains… is this food going to, you know.
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::Bobbie Maloy: harm me.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? We're hardwired to find these problems.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so… If your brain is left to its own devices.
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::Bobbie Maloy: it will find all the reasons and all the problems to not do the thing. Or, God forbid you make a mistake in something.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And you get this thing called failure, that most people call failure. You get this notification, and all of a sudden your brain's like, oh my god, we were right, we're done, no more, not going out and doing this again.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But all that is is feedback.
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::Bobbie Maloy: That the way, very specifically, the way that you're trying to do something
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::Bobbie Maloy: Or, potentially, what it is that you're trying to do isn't right for you.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So, there's a lot that's going on there.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, there's a lot. And it really comes down to being able to still Those inner voices enough.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: That you can… you can actually hear what your body has to say to you. And our bodies are talking to us. Not our heads, our bodies, our physical bodies.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: talk to us all the time, but we have been trained over the years to ignore it, and that's why people have migraines, and they have stomach aches, and they have bowel problems, and they have hip problems, and cancers, and a lot of
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: times.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Because they're just, like…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: It's gotta be stored somewhere.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And the body remembers. I think there's a lot of science right now, scientific research, that is proving the point that your body remembers things. And so, whether you've experienced the capital T trauma or the lowercase t trauma in your life, your body remembers that. And then it does what it can to protect you from that going forward.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's…
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::Bobbie Maloy: ultimately, a lot of the work that I ended up doing, both personally and helping some clients through that, that led me to write the book, Healing Your Inner Child.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Because as a self-proclaimed self-health junkie.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And I had all the things. I, you know, meditation, vision boards, all the, you know, rewrite your life, all this type of stuff. I've done it all. But it wasn't working.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? So… If you've had the same things on your vision board year after year after year, Why?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? Oh, we want it. We're gonna… we're gonna do the manifestation and the meditation to get it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And maybe we take a couple of steps towards it, but then we… we experience these… these… we experience these blocks that stop us, that, like… like, we almost run headfirst into this invisible wall.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And we don't know why.
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::Bobbie Maloy: what I discovered through a lot of trial and error, and working on myself, and pulling myself out of some of these really dark places…
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::Bobbie Maloy: was… The problem that I'm trying to fix in the moment
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::Bobbie Maloy: is just a symptom. It's not a problem.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So, I started doing… I did this thing called timeline work.
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::Bobbie Maloy: which is where…
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::Bobbie Maloy: you walk backwards on your timeline. Now, you can do this, you know, you do this in, you know, kind of in a meditative state, but you walk back on your timeline to go.
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::Bobbie Maloy: When did this first start?
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::Bobbie Maloy: And…
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::Bobbie Maloy: There's a point in your life where, when you go to… you try to go backwards from that point, and you're like, nope.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I didn't have this issue here. So you'll find where that point is.
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::Bobbie Maloy: When you can work to heal that point.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And it doesn't matter how old you were, because it could have been.
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::Bobbie Maloy: you know, the, oh, I'm not, you know, who am I to… to speak up, right? Like, maybe that's one of yours.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Maybe it was a time where you were like, oh my gosh, I'm really excited to show my mom this drawing that I did in school?
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so what you, as this 8-year-old, is like, mom, mom, mom, look at this! And she's busy making dinner.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So she's gonna go nut now, sweetheart.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I'm busy with something else.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Now, to an 8-year-old, that can be very traumatic.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Because, oh my gosh.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I'm not good enough to share, or to stop, or to get mom's attention.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that…
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::Bobbie Maloy: seemingly small thing, then turns into, maybe I'm not going to show her the next one, or maybe I'm not gonna speak up, or maybe what I did wasn't good enough, and all these things, and it starts to stack.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Over and over and over and over again, to where…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Sometimes, as an adult, you're like, oh, man.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Do I hit submit on, sub, you know, on saying that, hey, I want to be on this podcast?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? Do I tell the world that I have this business, or do I play it small and just hope people find me?
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so, when you go back and you re-parent, can you give that kid what she needed in the moment?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Maybe it was a hug. Maybe it was that… just maybe it was, oh my gosh, this is amazing. Tell me more about it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: It's not your parents' fault.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Caveat, there are some times where, obviously, parents make bad decisions.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But they're also just…
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::Bobbie Maloy: They're doing… they're living their life, and sometimes, in what is a seemingly, you know, innocent moment.
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::Bobbie Maloy: You, as the child, needed something in that moment that your parents may or may not have been even able to give you. So you, as the parent now, as the adult now, go back and you give it to yourself.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then you walk forward on your timeline with this.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And now… So you mean it's not the end of the world? If I say, hey.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I want to do this, but maybe I get crickets at first.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And so that's where this idea of where you can actually really streamline and fast track
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::Bobbie Maloy: the success of anything that you want to do, because now if I've got this 8-year-old who I'm working with instead of against.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Who's now on my, you know, on my team, working with me and for me in the right way.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Now when I do my therapies, and my meditations, and my vision boards.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Things start happening and moving the way that they're supposed to.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's…
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::Bobbie Maloy: That's the power of getting to that idea of what's the originating issue that you're trying to work on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I love that. So, how do you work with people? Is it in groups, or is it one-on-one? Or is it a combination?
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::Bobbie Maloy: It's… I have a combination of things. What I find really interesting about group work is so many people think that their issue is unique to them.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And while that is definitely true for some things, most things it's not. Most things, somebody deals with it in one way, shape, or form. And so a lot of… sometimes group work can actually be more powerful for people than the individual one-on-one.
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::Bobbie Maloy: But, I mean, obviously I have my book, I've got some packages that go around that, I've got a couple of courses, a group program, and I do one-on-one coaching as well, because…
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::Bobbie Maloy: I find that people kind of need all those different layers.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: different people show up in different ways, also, and… and sometimes the big trauma, or big T trauma.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: They need to approach healing from a…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: from a safe space until they realize that they really weren't the only one that went through that big T trauma. I mean, even some of the most horrific things I've run into people, multiple people, who've experienced those kinds of trauma events in their lives, so they're not alone, and most of them do think that they are totally… they're the only one.
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::Bobbie Maloy: They do. And, you know, I want to be clear, I'm not a therapist, right? Like, there are some things that…
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::Bobbie Maloy: I believe in therapy. I've, you know, I absolutely think that it's got its place. And…
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::Bobbie Maloy: And we can continue… we can do, like, these surgical strikes on these, you know, these different things that have gone on in the past. And what's different about me from other, you know, from therapists, other than I am not a therapist, is I don't need the content
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::Bobbie Maloy: Of what you're dealing with.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Right.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So I don't need you to sit on a couch and tell me the story over and over and over again.
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::Bobbie Maloy: We deal with the context of how your body feels it, how you're remembering it in your brain, how have you cataloged it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: That is… is what's… is what makes this super powerful work.
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::Bobbie Maloy: is you don't have to share those details. As long as you know what they are, you can still go through the process.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And be guided through it to where…
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::Bobbie Maloy: That voice, or that negative voice, that negative impact to you is no longer What it used to be.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And it's…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Yeah, it can either be put aside if it's not helpful, or it at least isn't going to be
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::Bobbie Maloy: not helpful going forward. And so you can either say, oh, am I going to use this going forward in a helpful and positive way, or am I okay saying, yes, it happened to me, because we're not erasing the past?
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::Bobbie Maloy: But we're changing the way that it affects you now.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: A lot of the trauma that we experience in life, no matter how bad it is.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Is… is further made
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: impactful in our lives by the stories we tell around it. It's not so much the event that happened. I've seen this in my own life, because it's not like… I know an event that was, like, the trigger for so much trauma in my life.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: But I… Just knowing… going, taking the time to go back and identify when it happened.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: What… what was the catalyst? And… And… Having an explanation
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: for why it happened, for me, was helpful, so that I could move forward and not be, like.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: shackled by this… this memory that has really, like… it shaped all the other memories of my interactions with my mom, because of.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Something that happened.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: that…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: I remembered one way for the longest time, and now I choose to remember it a different way that's more empowering for me.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: She probably doesn't even remember it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: she's passed on, so I don't think that I could ever talk to her about it, but…
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that happens so often. So, like, you know, you get a… you get your teacher in third grade who's like, oh man,
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::Bobbie Maloy: We might not be good at math.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Right? Yeah. And then you internalize this. That teacher doesn't remember that they told you that you might not be good at math, but you'll internalize that, because depending on, you know.
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::Bobbie Maloy: if you really like that teacher, and maybe you made a mistake, or maybe you just… maybe you had it in your paper, and you're like, I got, like, 4 out of 10…
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::Bobbie Maloy: But that sticks with you.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And what's funny is, you don't get a say in what
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::Bobbie Maloy: and what initially leads to this inner child going, -oh, I have to protect from this in the future. We don't get a say in it. We do get a say, however, as an adult on…
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::Bobbie Maloy: How to interact with it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So that we can go, hey, Guess what? We made it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: We're a little bit older now. We've got some more resources.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So, you're talking about, you know, the body remembers.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Have you ever been in a conversation, like, with somebody, and all of a sudden, like, your shoulder will start itching? For no reason? You're like… and then, like, you'll ignore it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then it, like, almost, it's like, if you don't…
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::Bobbie Maloy: go, what's going on here? It gets worse and worse and worse and worse.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And then eventually, it turns from, like, your shoulder to, like, like, now you're moving like this, or even if you're scratching it, but you're still not addressing what's actually causing the problem. Eventually, you're like…
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::Bobbie Maloy: It gets louder and louder and louder so that your body has no choice but to deal with the issue.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Well, that could be an inner you going, hey.
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::Bobbie Maloy: This conversation isn't good for us, or hey, there's something you need to be paying attention to here.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And that's what I really help people with, is going, maybe these are the signals. So instead of, the boss sent you an email, or you send out an email to your employees.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And maybe you get crickets back, even though you wanted a response, so what is a lot, you know…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Why is nobody listening to me? Right? Like, you'll go to this extreme, response, you know, where the boss sends you an email, and now you're like, oh my gosh, I'm being called into the principal's office, so I feel so small, what am I gonna do here? Like, when you… we have these unhelpful responses.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Instead of having these massive swings, maybe it's, huh.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I wonder if there's something else going on here. Maybe I can go inside instead of paying attention to all these external sources and things that I've learned over the years. Maybe I go inside and go.
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::Bobbie Maloy: what is this… what is really going on? Is this… is my reaction…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Normal for the type of event that has just happened.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And we see a lot of this with our parents, especially if you've had a strained relationship with your parents, like a mom that says, you know, hey, how are you doing? Am I gonna see you for Thanksgiving?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Might be a normal thing for a parent to ask, but if you've got a strained relationship, now you can take something like that, going, oh my god, she's gonna want this, and all these types of things, and we could spin out of control.
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::Bobbie Maloy: If we're not…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Understanding and kind of internal, instead of listening to all those external things that are going on.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Yeah, huh? I… Happens all the time, and until we slow down and realize.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: the… It doesn't have to be this way, for one thing, and that there are resources out there, and…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Even for, like, self-help junkies, this is a different approach. It's not a do-it-by-yourself, read the book, and hope you get results. It's come…
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Talk to Bobby.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: See what you can do to,
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Take small steps in the beginning, and one of them was…
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::Bobbie Maloy: Absolutely.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: would be maybe doing your free guided tap into unlimited confidence in 5 minutes.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Yes, that's one of my most favorite exercises, by the way, that, that I've,
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::Bobbie Maloy: kind of put together. So many people are like… they don't…
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::Bobbie Maloy: feel like they have the confidence to take that next step, to pick up the phone and call clients, to make the post that they know they need, like, all of the things. Like, there's something that you're like.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I don't really know that I want to do this.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Or, something that you have to do over and over and over again that you're just like.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I cannot get the motivation to do it.
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::Bobbie Maloy: This type of exercise.
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::Bobbie Maloy: truly one of my favorite exercises is absolutely worth doing, because it allows you to intentionally
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::Bobbie Maloy: Tap into the confidence that you already have in your body.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And it allows you to use that in the moment. Now, it's not a permanent, I'm always confident kind of exercise, but it will get you to the point where you can go.
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::Bobbie Maloy: I need to take this next step, and I'm struggling for a reason. Let me tap into some confidence.
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::Bobbie Maloy: So that you can take that next step and continue moving, which, by the way, enhances your confidence.
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::Bobbie Maloy: to take that motion and everything like that. So this is one of… it is truly one of my absolutely favorite exercises ever to do and to run my clients through.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Amazing. And they can get that at AlignedSelfMethod.com forward slash confidence, correct?
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::Bobbie Maloy: Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Great. Thank you so much for joining us today, Bobby. This has been a great conversation.
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::Bobbie Maloy: Thank you, thank you for, for having me here. I enjoy sharing this message with
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::Bobbie Maloy: everybody. And I think if it can help at least one person.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: Understand that…
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::Bobbie Maloy: It's okay.
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::Bobbie Maloy: And there are ways to… there's ways to be more helpful and more resourceful for yourself, then it's absolutely worth it.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: For sure, for sure. And you've given people so many great Places to start looking.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And I really encourage you to, learn more about Bobbi and her free guide, Tap Into Unlimited Confidence, in 5 Minutes.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: And you can do that by visiting alignedselfmethod.com forward slash confidence, and we'll be sure to put that in the show notes below. Thanks for tuning in with us today.
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::Jill Hart-The Coach's Alchemist: to the You World Order Showcase Podcast. If you're ready to amplify your voice, monetize your mission, and start attracting premium clients, your next step is simple. Head to thecoachesalchemist.com and schedule your free client acquisition audit. Be sure to join us for our next episode as we share what others are doing to raise the global frequency. And remember, change begins with you. You have all the power to change the world. Start today and get this.
