Unknown:
00:00:04
Hello, hello,
Unknown:
00:00:05
and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host
Unknown:
00:00:08
Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you
Unknown:
00:00:12
today.
Unknown:
00:00:14
This Friday, outdoors sunny,
Unknown:
00:00:19
very windy, I hope the wind is not going to disturb you. So,
Unknown:
00:00:24
today I want to talk about abusive nurses. Yeah, what made
Unknown:
00:00:34
me come up with that title? First of all, I want to tell you
Unknown:
00:00:39
that if I have lots of respect for one job that there is out
Unknown:
00:00:47
there, then it is nursing being a registered nurse, every nurse
Unknown:
00:00:54
on this planet deserves way more applaud and tapping on the
Unknown:
00:01:01
shoulder than they can receive. They're doing such tremendous
Unknown:
00:01:04
work. They're rescuing people, they're saving people's lives
Unknown:
00:01:09
and they comfort you they make you feel good. And yeah, what
Unknown:
00:01:17
would we do? Where would this planet Earth? Where would
Unknown:
00:01:21
humanity be if it wasn't for nurses, I've had really good
Unknown:
00:01:25
experiences with nurses being a patient being a client. But
Unknown:
00:01:32
today, I want to talk about abusive nurses or the phenomenon
Unknown:
00:01:37
of strong givers. People who constantly give and nurture and
Unknown:
00:01:45
take care of other people. And them now burning out. It is
Unknown:
00:01:53
usually people with a big heart, lots of compassion, lots of
Unknown:
00:01:59
empathy, who become nurses, they're very well organized,
Unknown:
00:02:04
they're very hard working. And they can take on a lot. But what
Unknown:
00:02:11
if it gets too much what the person who prides him or herself
Unknown:
00:02:17
to rescue other people, when war is going on outside, if they
Unknown:
00:02:25
reach a limit, I feel and to some degree, I think we can all
Unknown:
00:02:33
identify a little bit. As nurses wanting to help wanting to
Unknown:
00:02:38
nurture we can reach a limit, and then have difficulties
Unknown:
00:02:46
communicating our limits our boundaries. And instead of
Unknown:
00:02:53
communicating instead of stepping back instead of
Unknown:
00:02:56
radically taking care of ourselves, we then turn into
Unknown:
00:03:04
little bitter, abusive personalities. And I've noticed
Unknown:
00:03:15
that I've worked in the hospital, and there was nurses
Unknown:
00:03:20
who were really nasty to clients. And I was just a
Unknown:
00:03:24
newbie, physiotherapist taking care of freshly injured people,
Unknown:
00:03:30
people coming out of how do you say that surgery? And yeah,
Unknown:
00:03:40
doing my job. And of course, the nurses had to do the heavy
Unknown:
00:03:43
lifting. And I feel the system is not really built to support
Unknown:
00:03:51
nurses like they have to constantly give they constantly
Unknown:
00:03:55
have to be switched on. But they haven't really hard to take care
Unknown:
00:04:02
of themselves. I mean, there's statistics out there that the
Unknown:
00:04:07
nurses got hit hard with COVID and not only because they will
Unknown:
00:04:14
working closely with COVID patients but because their
Unknown:
00:04:17
immune system is not really strong, they work shifts. They
Unknown:
00:04:25
some of them smoke lots, some of them eat a little bit too much
Unknown:
00:04:30
or not enough and they just have a very stressful environment and
Unknown:
00:04:34
are more susceptible and catching viruses and and
Unknown:
00:04:41
illnesses. And to then having to cater to other people to every
Unknown:
00:04:48
single need that patients have. is so extremely exhausting, and
Unknown:
00:04:54
I feel nurses don't get enough paid and they don't get enough
Unknown:
00:04:58
breaks They don't get enough holidays. And I really wonder
Unknown:
00:05:03
why if we know that the health of a society is built on really
Unknown:
00:05:09
good doctors and really good, nurses, right, our society here,
Unknown:
00:05:15
our health system is all about get sick first, and we make you
Unknown:
00:05:19
fit after we rescued you after. It's not like an East, in India,
Unknown:
00:05:25
where people are more focused on prevention. Here, it is heavily
Unknown:
00:05:33
based on how good your doctor is how good your nurses, that's how
Unknown:
00:05:38
well you're going to do. And it's tough. Like I feel we need
Unknown:
00:05:44
to take way more responsibility when it comes to our health. We
Unknown:
00:05:48
think way too often that the little pill is going to rescue
Unknown:
00:05:51
us or the doctor or the nurse, and think that our health is
Unknown:
00:05:55
none of our business. It is other people's business. And,
Unknown:
00:06:00
yeah, that's something I have a really tough time to understand
Unknown:
00:06:05
that nurses are so important in our society, yet they're not
Unknown:
00:06:08
given the ideal circumstances in order to have a healthy
Unknown:
00:06:13
lifestyle. And so the abusive nurse here is just a metaphor.
Unknown:
00:06:22
But yes, I experienced nurses that got abusive with patients,
Unknown:
00:06:27
because they were just totally burned out. They just couldn't
Unknown:
00:06:32
give in any more, they just couldn't listen anymore. Because
Unknown:
00:06:36
it reached a point where it was too much. And have you maybe
Unknown:
00:06:41
noticed that with yourself, at some point in your life where
Unknown:
00:06:45
someone all of a sudden was heavily dependent on you. And
Unknown:
00:06:50
you had to focus on balancing out your life and maybe your
Unknown:
00:06:54
children's life, and now all of a sudden that other person's
Unknown:
00:06:57
life, be it a spouse or a parent, whatever you can imagine
Unknown:
00:07:04
being Yeah, dependent on you. And then for the first little
Unknown:
00:07:10
bit, it works while you manage to balance it out. And you are a
Unknown:
00:07:14
little bit stressed, but it's going to be alright. But then
Unknown:
00:07:17
the stress builds up. And lastly, maybe worse eating than
Unknown:
00:07:24
ever, and the friendliness, the kindness, the empathy, slowly
Unknown:
00:07:32
but surely starts to Tirico writing. And I noticed that with
Unknown:
00:07:40
children with youngsters, who feel overwhelmed with their
Unknown:
00:07:44
parents, youngsters who want to get out there and conquer the
Unknown:
00:07:49
world. And all of a sudden, one of the parent parents is sick at
Unknown:
00:07:54
home and they have to take care of them. And yeah, there goes
Unknown:
00:07:59
the dreaming they go there goes the goals and then the
Unknown:
00:08:02
resentment builds up. So yeah, this episode is to remind
Unknown:
00:08:10
ourselves that you're not a bad person. If you feel resentful
Unknown:
00:08:15
towards somebody who's dependent on you. It is totally okay, it
Unknown:
00:08:21
is totally normal. But we have to be aware of not becoming
Unknown:
00:08:25
abusive, and to learn to set boundaries before we burn out.
Unknown:
00:08:31
And it is so tough because you will feel selfish at first or
Unknown:
00:08:38
worse, even people from the outside will call you selfish,
Unknown:
00:08:41
because they don't know your real boundaries. They don't
Unknown:
00:08:45
really know you because you always said yes in the past. And
Unknown:
00:08:50
now all of a sudden you set a boundary and people don't really
Unknown:
00:08:54
know. What's the benefit in for me. Why are we doing this? Well
Unknown:
00:09:00
the benefit is that you can be yourself you can be authentic,
Unknown:
00:09:05
you can be calm and as friendly, empathetic, empathetic, not
Unknown:
00:09:11
pathetic, empathetic as you can be when you set the right
Unknown:
00:09:16
boundaries. And when we don't set the right boundaries, we can
Unknown:
00:09:20
become very unpleasant nasty beings, who then push people
Unknown:
00:09:27
away and are being aggressive with other people. And what we
Unknown:
00:09:33
really need though, is closeness and acceptance and the approval
Unknown:
00:09:42
that okay that we can rest. So okay that we can sit in the
Unknown:
00:09:47
corner and read for an hour if we please to do this.
Unknown:
00:09:55
So if you ever noticed somebody being the very kind and giving
Unknown:
00:10:02
person. And all of a sudden, they become very unpleasant,
Unknown:
00:10:08
they become short fuse, they become really nasty to be
Unknown:
00:10:12
around, ask yourself if they have a problem with setting
Unknown:
00:10:16
boundaries. And then the only thing you can do is encourage
Unknown:
00:10:20
them to set boundaries, even better. So, giving them space
Unknown:
00:10:26
and demanding less from them relying more on yourself again.
Unknown:
00:10:31
Because yeah, it is toughest when you are in a relationship
Unknown:
00:10:36
with somebody who has poor boundaries, but you can both
Unknown:
00:10:41
learn or all parties involved, to give people space to take
Unknown:
00:10:48
care of themselves. You know, look at the guy who's the
Unknown:
00:10:52
provider, the breadwinner, and he comes home and is just
Unknown:
00:10:57
totally exhausted and just wants to have peace and just wants to
Unknown:
00:11:02
deflate, decompress. We have to give space or ask what we can do
Unknown:
00:11:10
to support and same goes with us. When we feel like we're
Unknown:
00:11:15
reaching an end we are becoming unpleasant, short fused, it is a
Unknown:
00:11:21
strong sign that we need a rest we need a break. We need to
Unknown:
00:11:26
radically take care of ourselves, but very gently
Unknown:
00:11:32
communicated to the people around us. So I hope this tile
Unknown:
00:11:40
was not confusing. I hope I was able to make the loop back to
Unknown:
00:11:44
you back to us on how important it is to take care of yourself
Unknown:
00:11:52
because if you don't, some people, not all people but some
Unknown:
00:11:56
people can become very abusive, very nasty, not only self
Unknown:
00:12:02
abusive, self destructive, but destructive for relationships,
Unknown:
00:12:06
destructive for other people. Thank you so much for listening.
Unknown:
00:12:12
If you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe. And if you
Unknown:
00:12:17
feel like leaving me a review on Apple podcast, never hold back.
Unknown:
00:12:22
It means the world to me. Thank you so much. Bye bye
