Our societies, communities, religions, etc. dictate to us the ideal versions of men and women. However, these ideals are tens of thousands of years old. They did fulfil a purpose when we were in groups and communities where assigning roles based on physical and mental abilities by gender made sense. Today we have evolved past that, but as always society is slow to catch up. We are still instilled with the programming that men should not show emotions or cry and women should not be tough and strong. It is very confusing because women complain when men aren't being sensitive enough or men complain when women are too sensitive, yet when a man is sensitive, then he's not tough enough, and when a woman is tough, she is too "manly".
It is equally important to recognise the roles we have chosen to play in our lifetimes, man or woman, depending on your choice, but equally important to recognise that we hold both female and male energy within ourselves. Finding the balance within that is authentically you is the goal. When we show up authentically and compassionately in balance we have an equal playing field to communicate and have civil discourse. Showing up and daring to be vulnerable is key.
When each and every one of us show up balanced we can start to overhaul this Alpha Type Hierarchical society that we have set up. When we are in balance the old system is not going to resonate any longer and the new paradigm will emerge organically and naturally without conflict. Without that internal balance we are going to continue to experience the immune response from within the system that resist change. It is an organismic response because our societies are not set up to deal well with change, it abhors it.
Trying to force our way through change without the energetic balance is causing men to not be male and women not to be feminine. This in of itself is causing the system to have an immune response, because it is out of whack. These imbalances also cause us to become confused, one manifestation is the seeking of release of sexual energies without connections, just fumbling in the dark for the solution. We also tend to seek out a partner to balance these energies, not realising they are intrinsic. This is always going to cause a relationship to be out of balance and doomed to fail. We must do our internal work in order to realise our optimal self that then resonates with another person in perfect balance and you then are in perfect harmony. We have this idea that our relationships are based on these static roles and the success metric is quantitative, not qualitative. Would it not be far better to be in balance and share a truly magical time with someone for the time that it is meant for you to be together and then realise, because you are in tune, if there is nothing further to be gained from the relationship? Do we rush in to these relationships, not only to satisfy and fill a void in our own balance, but also because of biological constraints and societal expectations? When a man thinks "I don't want to be retired by the time my child goes to college", does he then consider the fact that a) retirement is a choice, b) by the time he reaches "retirement age", he is likely to live another 20 years, by today's linear statistics, but is likely, with the technological advances, to be an additional 40 or 50 years. From the female perspective we come up against a more tangible challenge that a woman's fertility comes to an end at around 45 years of age. However, the ability to freeze eggs is very much accessible to the public, however at a significant expense. If we change our mindset and thinking and consider the tools and technologies available to us we can disallow current societal and physical challenges from achieving freedom to balance our energies.
Bringing these types of freedoms into our relationships allows us gradually bring balance to our own beings and our individual experiences as well as expressions. As we change our balance of communication to be equal, compassionate and accepting, we can start to realise the responsibility we bear for our own choices, thoughts, words and actions. When our energies become balanced and thusly we are more in equilibrium with others who are also in balance, we then connect deeper with them as our judgments are no longer obstacles for seeing each other.
The bigger and more continuous process of getting in touch with one's subdued energy is to clear out the limiting energies that you have collected over time that set your belief system. Be brave, challenge and ask questions and balance will come to you.