https://www.perfectlyimperfect.wtf/shine

Body image and weight loss seem to be in the forefront of so many women’s minds.  I recently received a message from a follower querying my messaging about body image and weight loss, noticing that I had personally changed my body. I had to respond because I never want women to think they need a DIET to live.  

In this episode I get real about ME and my passion for women loving themselves right where they are.  Living in the NOW rather than waiting for a specific size or weight to love yourself. 

Diet culture builds a distrust with our personal beings.  What started as a weight loss journey for me became a transformation to deep trust and self-love.  If it worked for me, I knew it had to work for others. For the past two years I have been working with women around this issue in individual and group coaching. 

Their transformation, enthusiasm, and connection made me realize that MORE WOMEN NEED THIS! SHINE! Love yourself, Light was born!

I also talk about:

-   Badass, confidence, assurance, boundaries

-   Sisterhood and connection

-   Trust

-   The inner critic and compassion

-   Amazing body positive women: Lizzo, Birds Papaya, Running Fat Chef, Melissa McCarthy and badass fashion designer Hillary MacMillan

About the Host:

Tanya's mission is to create a legacy of self-love for women that reinforces trust in themselves through our programs, coaching, podcast, and book, The Trifecta of Joy! As Founder and creator of the Trifecta of Joy Philosophy, she combines over 30 years of research and work in various helping fields, to help you achieve your greatest successes!

Using her philosophy of the Trifecta of Joy, her mission is to empower people through their struggles with the elements of awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibe. This podcast is about sharing stories of imperfection moving through life to shift toward possibilities, purpose, and power in your life!

Having had many wtf moments including becoming a widow, struggling with weight and body image issues, dating after loss, single parenting, remarriage, and blending families, Tanya is committed to offering you inspiration and empowerment – body, mind, and spirit!

As a speaker, writer, and coach, Tanya steps into her life’s purpose daily – to INSPIRE HOPE.

Order your copy of the Trifecta of Joy – HELP yourself in a world of change right here.

Get in touch with Tanya and follow the fun and inspiration in other places too!

www.perfectlyimperfect.wtf 

https://www.facebook.com/PerfectlyImperfect.wtf

https://www.instagram.com/perfectlyimperfect.wtf

https://www.linkedin.com/in/tanya-gill-695aa358/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH9VaHVMPa-Vk0l4LTuc_lQ

https://www.tiktok.com/@perfectlyimperfect.wtf?lang=en

Hugs, Hip Bumps, and Go ahead and SHINE!

Xo Tanya

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Thanks for listening!

Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.

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Subscribe to the podcast

If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher. You can also subscribe in your favorite podcast app.

Leave us an Apple Podcasts review

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Hi, friends, welcome to the trifecta of joy, I'm so happy you are here. I want to share something with you because I love interacting with my audience. And I have a beautiful group of people that I send inspiration to, in our in by way of emails. And of course, we have this podcast, which is, you know, a different way of communicating and, and, and, and we are moving to YouTube as well. So with all of that said, I received a message from someone this week, and I really felt like I wanted to address it really fully. Because perfectly imperfect life coaching is a reflection of me and my heart, and what I believe in, for others until they believe in themselves. And her message was, hey, Tanya, I keep meaning to touch base with you. I've noticed a shift on your posts regarding weight loss and diet culture. I'm curious. Anyways, I think you're a stunning human and someone I've always found beautiful inside and out. Your recent loss has been significant. I know you exercise and practice good habits. Are you taking any supplements or anything? I know. Yeah, I know, you talked about this in your program. I was just curious about it. You are a beautiful lady no matter what. And I was really touched by that on a lot of different levels. Because yes, we have this amazing group shine, which is, you know, something we've talked about in past podcasts as well. But But shine is about awareness, first and foremost. And I responded, and I'd like to share my response with you. It is always joy to hear from you. The truth is, I've always struggled with my weight, and I decided I was done with actually giving a shit about the number. I wanted to build trust with myself and come at it all from a place of love. I started out hoping I'd lose weight. But after a few months, my focus shifted to just loving and trust, and my body followed along. The reason I created shine was to give some basic tools to build a trusting relationship with eating itself. And more importantly, to focus on self love, self worth, and self compassion. As any and every size. Beauty is the light inside and attitude and from love. And diet culture is bullshit. I literally have done every diet imaginable. I'm done with that. I don't take supplements, well vitamins and prescription meds. But I just moved in ways that feel fucking great. Eat what I love and trust the awareness and fucking enjoy life. Thank you for your kind compliment you were a beautiful human hugs to you, Tanya. Now, sharing this with you is kind of interesting, right? Because my body has changed. Absolutely. And a lot of that has come through this incredible focus on love instead of where I used to focus, which was a grind and hating and hating on myself and feeling like I didn't have worth in where I was at the moment I was. Part of the other challenge for me was that that was my experience on the inside. And no one would have ever guessed it on the outside. And so where this all began was that I decided that I wanted to figure out a way to lose weight and do it from a place of love. And doing it from a place of love was very, very new to me. It was bizarre, actually. And it was a practice. And some of the pieces of that practice included identifying three things I love about myself every day. And I will tell you identifying three things about yourself that you love every day can be very, very difficult. When you spend 90% of your time berating yourself, you know, we're 5050 to 70,000 thoughts a day. 80% of them are from the day before and and 90% of those are negative. So I just want you to think about the way awareness plays a role in this. And so I mean, the trifecta of joy, of course, is awareness, befriending your inner critic and raising your vibration. And so when putting together this program, for me, it was the awareness that society is always telling us what we're supposed to look like and feel, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was like, I needed to peel back what the rest of the world was telling Tanya she was supposed to be, and start to figure out who Tanya thought she needed to unwanted to be. And, you know, we've got messages from society, we've got messages from friends, you know, the things we tell our friends about. Our relationships with ourselves, are sometimes really vulnerable. But often, we will be arrayed ourselves mildly compared to how we are actually berating ourselves, in our own minds. And our thoughts are so powerful, that building the awareness around that, for me, was not just about building awareness around food, and why I was eating it, when I was eating it and the choices I was making. It was also about the rest of my life, and doing things that I loved, and making sure that they were nurturing and actually bringing joy to my life. So I chose activities, that felt fabulous. And it's amazing how making those shifts in awareness can bring such massive change. And as I started building the program, and realizing the power of having a focus around goals that weren't related to numbers, the more I realized how powerful self love really was. And so that self love piece, though, is tied, of course, to the inner critic. And the truth is, this is how Dasia was born. I needed to find a way to make my experience with food and, and the inner critic related to food, be someone that I could literally imagine being outside of me, just so that I could distance myself enough to be able to say, and you're full of shit. And so for me, that's where deja came along. My inner critics name is deja, here we go again, poo, as in I've heard this shit before. Initially, because this was a whole experience. And I was believing that my, this was a relationship about food. I envisioned her as the maitre d of a five star restaurant. And she was dressed in black from head to toe in the sexiest suit in the world. And she was gorgeous. She had stunning, shiny black hair pulled slick into a tight, immaculate bomb, she had perfect makeup and lipstick, and she was just, and she walked with walks with confidence on on really tall heels. Interesting. This is the inner critic that I personally needed to create, in order to have my experience of noticing and actually starting to work with that inner critic in a new way. So that's how Dasia was born. What it's so important, though, that we understand that the data is the game changer. And Dasia is not always an adult. So as time moves on, and it became less about food and more about self love, it was about being able to nurture the Dasia at whatever age she was at and she was hurting at because we know that that inner critic comes from a place of fear. That inner critic comes from a place of a fear or a worry that is holding us back from possibilities and serving us due from our cultural stew that is very old, potentially petrified.

And we're still chipping away at it. And so, my Dasia I call her Asia. And what I want to invite you to do is, as you learn about your inner critic, to take that next step to understanding with compassion, it's not about sticking it to your inner critic. Although off handedly, we often sometimes catch up and go like, Fuck you'd Asia because it's a fucking deja vu moment. That's real. But, but when you have that amazing opportunity to cause notice and nurture, the inner critic within is where the power corrupts the power is that experience of being able to hold whatever fear the inner critic has, as you would, the fear you would hold for a child in crisis. That is the power of befriending the inner critic. When you take the space for yourself, and build enough trust with yourself, you have the ability to be friend her. And I will tell you, it is a game changer. And the reason I talk about body positivity is that I will never say that shine is a weight loss program. And the reason I will never say that shine is a weight loss program is because it's an awareness, befriend your inner critic, and raise your vibration program. I will wholeheartedly say that there are some incredibly amazing women in the world, who are of all different sizes, and colors and races and nationalities and gender pronouns. And at every size, they are shining. And I believe that part of building that trust is learning how to love yourself where you are. And in the truth and the truth of it. My body is smaller than it has ever been. And at first that freaked me out. I thought, am I too thin. And now I'm realizing I'm eating healthy, and making decisions that align with myself. And perhaps as I am surrendering and letting go. So is what I've been holding on physically. But it's coming from that place of love. There's no more fighting. There's no more deprivation. There's no more self hatred around a midnight box of cookies. It's a place of compassion. And you know, there are so many women in the world, and especially on social media, who speak to these kinds of things. If you don't already follow like Lizzo obviously is like she's a She's the queen. She is a queen. I actually have intentions of sending her my book. She is about empowerment. She is about owning your body. She is about living juicy, she is authenticity. And other women like the Birds Papaya talking about her own experience at different points in her life with her body, and how proud she is of the stretch marks and the skin and where she and the cellulite because she's living juicy. And then if you have not seen or found running fat chef, I believe her name is I think it's Latoya Shante or Shanti. She is a massive inspiration. It's people like that, who are owning their bodies, living life, juicy, living with authenticity, and saying, This is me now. And my body may change. Like Hell, I even I saw that. Alyssa was having bullshit thrown at her and comments about her losing weight and she's like, pitch whose body is this? Like, I'm making this decision for me and my God, how, honestly, how could she not be losing weight on to her between practicing and performances? And that woman shakes it like that? Woman shakes it. She's done. at us, it's why I quoted her in my book. But that's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about following inspiration. And that, by the way, is a huge vibration razor, right? Vibration is, what are you giving and taking energy from. And these amazing people like owns herself where she's at. And that, to me, is authentic beauty. That, to me is shining light. And that's what shine at the bow. It's about shining your light right back in now, in the life you're in now, not waiting until some stupid number of shots shine out between your toes. Is that where the magic happens? I don't think so. In fact, I know that that is not the case. And so when you start living juicy immediately and start building trust with yourself, immediately, you begin to build a place where you are proud. And trusting yourself. In that moment. You don't wait until your asides, whatever, I'll say 12, before you go out there and buy yourself something beautiful from an amazing designer, like Hillary McMillon. Like there are beautiful designers, for people of every size in the world. And so many people do the Walmart thing because they say all by myself nice clothes, when, by yourself nice clothes, when you are you go do the things when you are you. And that's the beauty of it. That's what I'm about. That's why deja, has her moments, every now and then. And it's an ongoing and I say it's an ongoing practice of presence with him for yourself using a trifecta of joy, philosophy. And ultimately, you love yourself so much where you are. And you make the space of where you are in your life important enough to show up for yourself every day for five whole minutes. And as a result, you grow in badass confidence, assurance, boundaries, I think back to our most recent group and the growth and the connection that has happened, and continues and, and those of you that will choose to join us are going to get to meet these amazing women who are so inspirational and supportive, and loving. And I'm telling you a serious vibe razor, a serious vibration razor. These women chose to join shine. And they were like, Let's see what happens. And what has happened has been beautiful. It's been magnificent. And I am grateful. And I'm deeply humbled to be a part of that journey. And that so many of them chose to continue on with membership to mentor newbies coming in and help them shine their light even more. Could I ask for anything better? The beautiful thing, my friend is this when I got that email of a body positivity. And that shift was really important to me, that people understand that, although my body has changed significantly, I believe wholeheartedly that every body is beautiful. And I believe with every ounce of my being, that when you lean into yourself with love and presence, and intention, and start focusing on the things that really matter, that things change in magical ways. Things change in ways that may have never been expected. That the beauty that comes from it is priceless. It's priceless. So there is my response, friends to the amazing email I received. And please feel free to reach out if you have questions that you would like me to answer in video form as well. The bottom line is this. I want you to live your best life. I want you to love yourself where you are right now.