This episode dives deep into the transformative power of courage and resilience, emphasizing that sometimes all it takes is just 20 seconds of bravery to change your life.

We explore the journey of overcoming adversity, as Daryl shares his own story of growing up in challenging circumstances, navigating homelessness, and finding strength in vulnerability. With insights from Dr. Erika Mateus, the conversation highlights the importance of asking for help and recognizing that embracing our struggles can lead to personal growth.

We also touch on the concept of a "warrior's spirit," illustrating how everyone has the potential to rise above their difficulties.

Join us as we reflect on the significance of community, support, and the courage to take that first step towards change.

Takeaways:

• The journey from hardship to empowerment can be transformative, as illustrated by my own experiences.
• Recognizing the importance of vulnerability is essential for personal growth and connection with others.
• Sometimes, all it takes is just 20 seconds of courage to change the course of your life.
• Helping others can also mean allowing them to help you; it's a mutual exchange of support.
• Our beliefs shape our reality, and shifting negative beliefs can lead to significant life changes.
• We all possess a warrior's spirit within us, forged through the battles we've faced in our lives.

Links referenced in this episode:

• besitosbeauty.com
• erikamateus.com
• breakthroughradio.net

You can connect with me at:

Lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33

And Dr Mateus

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU via the ProsperaTV Network app. Be sure to like or subscribe so you never miss an episode!

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

Coming up on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

So from the rough streets of Minnesota to the rough life living on the streets later, as a 20 year old, I learned to view the world around me in a 360 dimension.

Sometimes all we need is just 20 seconds of courage.

20 seconds of insane courage can change your entire life.

And I believe that that is true for my life and through other lives.

A Warrior Spirit provides a platform for independent voices, professionals, and thought leaders to share their insights, experiences, and perspectives.

The views and opinions expressed by hosts and guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views of Praxis 33 or its affiliates.

Content shared within this program is intended for informational, educational, and inspirational purposes only.

While the host and some guests may be professionals or subject matter experts, the information presented is general in nature and should not replace personalized advice from qualified professionals regarding your individual circumstances.

By viewing this program, you acknowledge that any decisions or actions taken based on the content are your own responsibility.

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now we're my battle cry without shame this isn't the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within.

Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Darrel Snow.

Let's dive in.

A couple months ago I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Erica Matthias and Dr. Mateus, and I had such a great conversation during it.

She mentioned that she would enjoy coming back and maybe interviewing me.

And in the hundred and some episodes that I've done over the four years, I've never had anyone else take over my show and interview me.

But I thought that was an intriguing opportunity and mostly because I respect who this person is.

She's a trained clinical psychologist and just a wonderful soul and spirit.

I really enjoyed her.

So I thought, what the heck, Turn it over to Dr. Erica.

Erica, thank you for joining me again.

Hi, Darrell.

Thank you.

It's my pleasure again to be here and taking the lead actually this time and see how it go.

Yeah, we'll see if I'm as good of an interview as you were.

So I'll turn the questions in the show over to you.

I'll just kind of run the controls over here in the background and let's have some fun this morning.

Yes, absolutely.

It sounds great.

And thank you.

I mean, I'm still in your show.

What else you can do, right?

Yeah, it's.

Hijacked 100%.

All right.

So obviously, I just want to say something before we start with all the questions, but when you interview me, it was, like, super insightful.

It made me think about why I did things the way I did.

And just because you invited me to your show, obviously I felt so grateful.

And I was like, well, let me put this guy in the spot.

He's putting me in the spot.

Who's questioning my whys.

I want to do the same thing.

I want to return the favor.

So hopefully everybody that is watching or will be watching this episode will enjoy it as much as he's been enjoying interviewing putting everybody else's in the spot.

So do you have anything to say in your defense, Daryl?

Nothing in my defense.

I am a little, you know, clinical psychologists and my brain are kind of a mix.

So I'm.

I'm curious to see what we do.

Well, and let me clarify something to you as clinical social worker, which, I mean, we have the same abilities and obviously talents and gifts that's done a clinical psychologist.

We have the ability to diagnose, provide treatment, make referrals, and everything else.

The difference between a clinical social worker and a clinical psychologist is that clinical social workers can even dive deeper in the sense of making sure the person is being in the proper environment to apply everything that individual is learning.

And I'm going to give you a very quick example is that if we have a. I don't know, if we're working with a child, we can check where that child is being raised, the environment, connect that person with different resources within the community and make sure the child is following proper treatment versus the psychologist is mainly focusing on the psychological treatment that person is receiving or the child in this case.

That makes sense.

Just to clarify that.

Yeah.

No, and I appreciate the clarification.

My life, I could have used both.

So I appreciate you.

Yeah, why not?

Right?

Yeah.

And.

And I gotta tell you, during this, it's going to be hard for me not to also re interview you because you're so dynamic and fascinating that I have a lot more questions.

So there might be a third episode in our.

In our juncture.

We go with the flow, right?

Absolutely.

Perfect.

All right, so, Daryl, you're here, you're in your show, but obviously there's so many questions that I have for you, and probably people that have watched you throughout the years have also for you.

And the first question is, we want to know who you are, why you're doing what you're doing, and what brought you here in the first place.

Yeah, my journey is pretty long.

I've been in the people business since I was 15 years old.

So my whole life, I was an Eagle Scout.

I was a AV student.

I just grew up with my father always teaching us, you know, to help others and do things for others.

So I have a giver's heart.

I really want to give back to others.

And my main goal my whole life is to help others get to their potential, not live in their past, not live in their trauma, but to get to the.

And I've been very good at being able to see the goodness in others that they sometimes can't see themselves.

So I've always tried, you know, I don't care if it's sitting in a coffee shop talking to a stranger or, you know, professional coaching.

Now that I do.

I've always just tried to bring out that passion and that purpose that people have and connect them with each other.

So that's kind of my entire life has been.

I always tell a story.

When I lived in Dallas in my mid-20s, there was a leather store that was going out of business, Wilson's Leather.

And I remember I always wanted a leather coat.

So I'm like, oh, well, they have 70, 80% off.

I'll go in and see if I can find a decent coat.

Right.

And while I was in there, I actually ended up selling three other coats.

I didn't even work there.

I was wandering around for my own coat, but ended up selling three other coats, you know, so just trying to help people, wherever they are, is.

Has been my main purpose.

So that's super interesting, and I love that now you have this podcast in the last.

For the last four years, is that correct?

Yes.

I'm in year four now.

Correct.

This is your year four.

But you always knew that your main calling wants to help people.

People.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

My main calling was to help people.

And the podcast came out of that.

Oh, okay.

Because that was my next question.

If helping people, you know, and obviously all these years of experience led you to get into this podcast, and can you tell us more about your story?

Because I know that there are so many moments, you know, growing up and developing and learning that are crucial or they were crucial for you to be here today, can you just tell us which of those scenarios or situations or experiences were the most important for you to get you where you are now?

Well, people who have listened to me in the.

In the past, they.

They understand that I've had a very tumultuous life.

My.

My mother was very abusive by, you know today's standards.

And so I was the protector of my little sister for a very long time.

And I grew up in the streets of Minneapolis, very rough part of town until I was nine years old when we moved away.

But those first nine years, even my babysitter, who was older, she was 16, I was nine, you know, in the rough neighborhood that we lived in, she had rough boyfriends.

And even as a nine year old I would try to protect her from some of those situations.

And so I grew up being a protector in protective mode.

My mom worked three jobs so, you know, she wasn't home as often.

We were latchkey kids and it just became my defensive mechanism to protect others.

So growing up in that environment was a key moment to be a protector.

I remember in my mid-20s, I was driving home from a bar with some friends and this guy was on the front lawn verbally abusing his girlfriend.

And I stopped and I got out to help her.

He actually pulled a gun on me and said, you know, get the F out of here.

And I was not willing to go because I had seen my mom be abused, you know, and, and so women who get abused are very triggering for me.

I really need viscerally to defend that.

And so I was not going to leave this girl who I didn't know, who was just there.

And my friends actually had to drag me back to my car because the guy had a gun to my head.

And I'm like, you know, I'm not.

Oh my gosh.

So, you know, there's, there's elements throughout my entire life that, that have developed, you know, this.

When I was homeless, living in the car selling blood for gas money, I learned how to be a really good communicator because I would get people to, you know, give me a night on their couch so that I could shower and find a place to work, you know, I could go out and job interviews.

And so, you know, I learned from the streets of Minneapolis because I had to carry a knife to school when I was in kindergarten.

So from the rough streets of Minnesota to the rough life living on the streets later, as a 20 year old, I learned to view the world around me in a 360 dimension.

Like I don't blindly look anywhere.

My, my wife gets annoyed because I'm so observant.

I can see when like one piece of paper has been moved on a, on a table, right?

It's like, yes, I'm hyper vigilant.

So those things have all brought me to this place and, and developed this sense of Helping others get through whatever they're going through.

That is incredible.

Incredible.

And thank you for sharing that portion of your life with me and with the rest of the people that will be watching the show now.

And this is from the clinical perspective.

I always question this when I hear stories like that.

Fear is kind of so ingrained in our system, and that's probably the first response.

I mean, we're here to survive.

That's the main function of the brain.

Right.

So where in this constant surviving mode, fear comes with that?

Because it's the fear of not having food, the fear of not having shelter, the fear of being abused, the fear of being chased and robbed and all these kind of things.

But I hear you saying that everything that you went through created enough resilience to become the protector.

But before the protector, they got to be something else.

I mean, you don't go from 0 to 100 and being this protector just out of the blue.

So I want to understand how you went through all these other probably faces or feelings, if you want to call it that way, feelings and emotions to get to this protector shell custom thing in wanting to protect people and help people.

Yeah, I think in my case, it was zero to 60, because, you know, I was abused my entire life as a small child, up until I was 16.

You know, when I got big enough to.

I remember the day very vividly, my mom had hit me again.

And everything in her reach was a weapon.

It didn't matter if it was your, you know, favorite toy or a hairbrush, or in one case, it was a bullwhip.

It didn't matter if it was in her arm's reach.

It became her.

Her weapon.

And I remember at 16, I was finally big enough and grown enough that I actually put my arms around her and I set her.

I put her to the side of me.

She was in front of me.

And I remember as I'm lifting her off the ground and moving her to the side, telling her, you will never hit me again.

And that was the last time I ever got hit by my mom.

So I didn't have fear.

I had safety, protection.

How can I.

And.

And I used.

I realize now in my.

In my older years, looking back, I used perfectionism as my mask.

If I could just be perfect, if I could just be good enough, if I could just do better, then I wouldn't get hit.

And so perfectionism became the mask that I wore, and I ended up wearing that through most of my life because I didn't realize that's what I had adopted as my identity, as my protection mode for myself.

But I did go from zero to protector because I had a little sister that I didn't want that to happen to.

I had a babysitter who I didn't want that to happen to.

Not from my mom, but from anyone because I had seen it happen to my mom.

And so my little brain instantly said, okay, there's no man in the house.

I have to be the man of the house.

I have to protect these people.

And something new in within me knew that it was my job to protect these people.

When it really wasn't my job, I just took on that role.

And then when my mom married my stepdad and we moved down to Iowa, you know, I remember vividly as a 10 year old little boy angry.

I grew up angry most of my life.

But I remember at 10, my dad saying, you no longer have to do this.

I'm here to do this now.

And part of his guidance helped me separate from having to be the angry protector to just trying to be a little kid.

You know, it was a long process, but I just remember that so vividly.

So yes, I was one of the people who did go from zero to protector.

The wave of getting there was pretty instant because the abuse started so early.

Right?

Wow, that is an incredible story.

Which I feel compelled to ask a thousand questions more, please.

Obviously.

Well, I want to move forward a little bit further in your life because if you give me a chance, I'll be asking you those thousand questions.

But it's so fascinating because obviously in my years of experience working with people and helping them as well, not the same situation, similar situations, People become then the victim or people become then the hero or people become.

They take different roles according to how they internalize experience.

And it sounds that to you and the way that you went through everything was like, okay, I'm going to become the protector wanting to help others.

And I think that is just so beautiful because from so much pain you took that and kind of like transformed that into the gift.

A gift to give to other people and help other people.

And if we move forward, just tell me a little bit more about what happened throughout your life.

Another important experience that help you shape this new role of protecting after you help that girl and you have that gun pointed at your head.

Because that was kind of like the story.

And I'm like, oh, more questions now.

Okay, let's move forward with that.

Yeah, I, when I, when I was.

What caused me to become homeless in my mid-20s was the loss of a romantic Relationship.

I had met a young woman that I fell in love with, I was planning on marrying.

In the course of that, she got into a car accident and was eventually into a coma.

And when she came out of the coma, she didn't remember me or the life we were trying to build.

So for me, it felt like she had died because our life had died.

And so I spent three months just laying in bed wanting to die.

I didn't get.

I. I went to check the mail and that's it.

I spent.

And so I went.

I was living away from home.

And when I went back home, my family didn't know how bad off I was because, you know, I had gotten to a point where I don't want help, I don't need help, was my mentality.

I can't do it myself.

And I was talking with my grandmother, and my grandmother was this beautiful, insightful soul who just had this gentle wisdom about her.

And we were washing dishes and I was drying, and she was good enough to coax my truth out of me through her gentleness and her questioning.

And so she discovered through the dishes where I was in life.

And she asked me point blank, how would my now ex fiance feel about what I was doing with my life.

And I said, well, she'd probably slap me.

And I remember my grandmother wiping the dishes without missing a heartbeat and just saying, consider yourself slapped.

And that jolted me back into, oh, shit.

I can't just lay here waiting to die.

I have to move forward with my life.

And I went back to where I was living.

I packed up whatever remaining things I had because I had to sell things off in order to survive because I had stopped working, I had stopped living.

And so I just packed the rest of my clothes and few items that I had and got in my car and drove to Phoenix and lived out of my car for a month until I could get back on my feet.

So that was a very pivotal moment in my life.

And, you know, from there it's been, you know, still bumps, but not as deep.

The hills haven't been as steep, so.

Wow.

Okay.

Well, another major thing.

And thank you for sharing that with me and with us.

So you're telling a story of strength, endurance, resiliency.

And I want to know when you have that pivotal moment in your life and you said you drove from place A to place B and it took you a month to get back on your feet, can you tell us what happened within that month?

What was the story relating to those qualities that I just mentioned?

Yeah, I refused to Be one of the people who would stand on the corner asking for.

I didn't want to be the guy holding a sign asking, begging for help.

So I knew that I was responsible for getting myself back on my feet.

So I remember one of the very first nights I was here, I was in downtown Phoenix, and I thought, oh, well, I've always heard that the YMCA is a place that you can go and, you know, get kind of back on your feet.

You know, it's inexpensive, you know, they help whatever.

And I remember spending one night in the downtown Phoenix ymca, and it was so scary.

It was so on the bad side of town that I felt safer back in my car.

And so I never went back to any shelter, if you will.

But I spent.

I spent a month living it out of my car.

I would get into conversations with people.

I would go to apartment complexes where a lot of people were out and doing things, and I would get into conversations with them.

They would provide a night on their couch so that I could clean up and go look for work.

And I would sell plasma and blood for.

For extra gas money.

And I just spent a month in my car until I actually got the job and was able to get back on my feet.

So it was definitely a time of resilience.

But I knew that God had my back.

I knew that somewhere along the line he would provide.

I just had to keep doing my part of moving forward.

Absolutely.

So I hear a story of, as I said before, strength, endurance, resiliency, courage, but also inner authority.

Like you became your own leader.

You know, this is what we call self leadership.

And it's just so amazing if you were able to say something today to the world, say something to the world and to all these people that they don't know how to go from here to here, how to escape from this pain and.

And make the pain into a gift.

What would you say?

The very first thing I would have to say is you have to want to get out of where you are.

Some people in the course of my lifetime and the people that I've coached and the people that I've met relish their victimness.

They love the.

They don't love the fact that they're a victim, but they subconsciously love the feeling of others pouring pity on them.

And they want to stay in that.

So, first off, you have to definitely want to change and you have to want to move out.

Secondly, the thing that I did wrong, that caused me to be in my situation for as long as I was, was the fact that I had The I can do it myself mentality.

I didn't tell others where I was, I didn't share my situation.

And you don't have to share your story to be the victim, but you can ask for help.

And once I started asking for help and strangers started allowing me this time on their couch and helping me with direction of hey, try here or try there to find this work, once I started actually moving forward, things started to move forward.

You have to do your part of my business.

Three platforms is co create, transform and empower in the co creation part is the part people miss.

Like I can pray all day long, I can sit all day long and hope to be a Chevy.

I'm never going to become a car.

I have to do, you know, I have to do something to, to propel my life forward.

So I'm a co creator in my life, good or bad.

I co created my despair, I co created my hardship, I co created my homelessness because I stopped doing any type of work, not just work for money, but actually living type of work, wanting to get better.

So you have to want it, you have to want to get out of where you are and you have to ask for help.

It's very, very difficult to do it alone.

Very difficult.

Yes, yes, you're absolutely right.

And now you're saying something that is even more beautiful because yes, all those qualities and inner leadership, but then vulnerability and vulnerability, I think is a concept that no one wants to go there because I don't want to show my feelings to people.

What are they going to think of me?

I don't want to show the weakness, you know, and vulnerability, sadly, in our society is a sign of weakness.

Oh, you feel like that?

You're so weak.

Oh, you're crying.

You're so weak.

So there's so much judgment towards being vulnerable.

But when we're vulnerable is kind of like the reminder that we are humans, you know, and we connect through the pain.

We connect through those moments of vulnerability.

Because if we're constantly portraying, oh, I am this, I'm invincible or you know, I'm a rock kind of thing and nothing gets you, then people are not going to be relating to you.

And that reminds me of our previous interview with being relatable, you know, so.

And I think that comes to you as well because now I know that you have not only this podcast but so many other lines of business in which you're helping people.

So why don't you tell us about that?

And by the way, do we have time or it's time for kind of like a mini.

We'll take that quick break and then we'll come back and we'll talk about that.

We'll be right back.

I told you about I told you a thousand questions.

I love it.

We'll be right back.

We are queens yeah.

Let em see Ruling the world Full of energy musculos we're fierce and bold on your story Let your colors unfold to the queens standing tall and proud In a world full of colors Let your voice be loud potato beauty where the fire the light and power unstoppable ready to ignite Grab your shades it's time for the glow Confidence in color Let the whole world know.

Besitos beauty because it's your time to shine for more information visit www.besitosbeauty.com hey, welcome back to the show and we're here with Erica Mateus.

Dr. Mateus has hijacked my show and interview interviewing me today.

And Erica, I hope that it's going well.

And you were asking me about the next phase of my life and my businesses and some of the opportunities.

So turn it back over to you.

Yes.

So why don't you tell us more about what you're currently doing.

And the question was like, this is not just the only thing that you have to help people.

You have many other ways of helping people.

So can you tell us, can you show us a little bit more about that part of your story?

Yeah.

A few years ago, I decided to get back into transformational life coaching and helping others.

And So I created Praxis 33, which is my personal consulting business.

And a lot of my things in life are spiritual and God related and.

And God centered or spirit centered, depending on who you are.

But I created this because praxis means integrating thought and action.

And I wanted my clients to not just talk about it, but I wanted their thoughts and their actions to be in cohesiveness.

So the word praxis is the word I use.

33 is an angel number for success and prosperity.

So I put the Praxis 33 because if you do the work and then the success can come.

And as I said, empower, co create and transform.

I want to empower my clients so that they can co create the life they want and it'll transform them into who they're supposed to be.

And that's what the symbol on the left is.

It's the integration of all three of those elements.

So that's how Praxis 33 came about.

That's amazing.

I love that number three three, three, three.

Yeah.

And then through that, the warrior spirit came, God and I wrestled with whether I was going to do a podcast or not.

Ultimately, he won.

And he told me that I was supposed to create a place where I could give a voice to the voiceless, turn their mess into their message and make it a survival guide for others.

And that's exactly what I did.

And the vision of a warrior and a warrior spirit came to me as the name.

I was originally going to call it TED Talks without ted, but I was worried about being sued.

Yes.

So I settled on a warrior spirit.

But to me, a true warrior isn't one that just does battle.

It's someone who knows when to lay down the sword and stand in their strength.

And so the warrior spirit came through that.

I came with Elena Rodriguez.

She was starting this thing called Prospera tv.

She called me and said, I'm going to do this TV thing.

I don't know where it's going or what it's going to look like, but do you want to join me?

And I said, sure.

Because I had already wrestled with God saying no.

That didn't go so well.

So I instantly said yes.

And eventually Elena not only got us on her streaming TV network, but now on Roku and soon to be on Amazon Fire.

We're now seen in 17 different countries and all over the world.

She's got a myriad of hosts, she's building this great thing, and people who are sharing their story, their message or their inspiration now have a great platform to do it.

And so she created this thing called the Crown Collective, which is speakers, authors and TV show hosts.

And it's just a faith based place to come and have everyone share their message.

Which then led me to this book anthology, Saying yes to the Whisper.

A friend of mine who was also in the Prospera family was starting the anthology of 20 some people how their life changed by actually saying yes to what God was telling them.

Something that I learned to do a little quicker because of how resilient God is.

Saying no to him when he's put it in your heart to do it, or doing it even if it wasn't originally in your heart, he has a purpose for it.

Saying yes to it is something that really was dear to me.

And in the book I quoted this, I said, I heard a speaker once say, you cannot count the seeds in an apple.

Excuse me?

You can count the seeds in an apple, but you can't count the apples in a seed.

And through that I said, we are God's apple.

Seed.

And we have no idea how many other apples will bear fruit.

Fruit from our tree.

When we say yes to that voice of God, we impact more lives than we could possibly fathom.

And I really believe that we are never given a purpose, a feeling, a desire, or a passion that was meant only to serve us.

I believe that it was birthed through us to bring forth something to impact others in the world.

So that's truly clearly where your life has gone from me knowing your story and where my life has gone.

And then through that, the same woman who did the book anthology, she created a specific song for the chapter that I wrote.

So I wrote this chapter, and in my words, she found a song.

And now I have a song that's connected to me called 20 seconds of brave.

Because one of my favorite movies is called We Bought a Zoo.

And it's based on a true life story.

And Matt Damon is telling his little girl that sometimes all we need is just 20 seconds of courage.

20 seconds of insane courage can change your entire life.

And I believe that that is true for my life and through other lives and then through that.

Now I'm on Breakthrough Radio, Christian radio Network.

So she, you know, has.

Has taken a book anthology and created songs, and now she's creating music and scripture and transformation.

And, you know, through it all, she's had me be a part of it.

So I've been very fortunate, very blessed.

And it all started by just doing the right work and having the faith to step out.

And I say all the time, Erica, faith and fear both require you to believe in something unseen.

Which are you going to step into and you don't need.

You know, people are always like, oh, well, I need to know this or I need to know that or I need to see this or I need to see that.

Well, that's not faith.

That's just knowledge.

Faith is when you can't see the whole road and you step forward anyway.

And you have to step forward in your faith for the rest of the road to shine.

That's just my personal belief.

So that's how I got to where I am today, right?

No.

Well, this is awesome.

I mean, every single thing.

It seems that it was following this power of co creation that you talk about it so beautifully, because it's true.

You can have many, many ideas, those ideas coming from God, right?

But if you don't take action, the co creation ends right there.

So you can have ideas, desires, wants, and the vision.

You even mentioned vision of a better life and helping others.

But you needed to Take action.

You needed to.

To do your work, to do your part for this to blossom the way that it's been blossoming.

And I think it's just magnificent all the things that you're doing and where you're going with all of this, but obviously with all these amazing things.

And you mentioned the world vulnerability.

Before we have the break, I want to know at what point you almost, almost thought that you were not going to be able to do any of this.

Because behind any.

Behind every warrior or any person of success, there's also so many other times in which you doubt it and you're so fearful of the outcome.

So tell us a little bit about that, too.

Yeah, I'm 61 years old, and I didn't actually stop my doubt and my fear internally until I was 58.

So I feel that for 58 years I wore a false identity and a mask to try to survive.

And then once I actually did the inner healing work and dove deep inside, you know, because when we have our traumas and we have our demons and we push them down, well, during that push down, we think that that's acknowledging them and dealing with them because we know what we're pushing down.

Oh, I've got that covered.

So all we've done is just buried them.

And it's the excavation part of removing them and revealing them that gives you release from them.

And that's where the vulnerability comes in.

One of the things my wife said early on in our marriage, just let me in.

I just want you to let me in.

Because she could see who I was, she could see what I was wrestling with, but I wouldn't share that.

And in our world, men rarely get the opportunity to be vulnerable.

Because of what you said earlier, we're allowed anger.

People understand our anger now.

They don't want to see it all the time, and they don't want to deal with it on a large scale.

But that, oh, he's angry.

I understand that.

Oh, he's sad, he's depressed, he's crying, he's vulnerable.

They don't understand that, nor do they allow it.

Oh, he's such a wuss.

He's a pussy.

He's so unmanly.

That's bullshit.

It's the vulnerability that makes us stronger.

And until I realized that it was okay to actually deal with those, it was the only time that I could release those.

And so my vulnerability became more.

I cry now more than I've ever cried in my life.

Even when I was getting hit, like, you know, at some point when you're abused that much, you stop crying about it.

You just, you know, become inwardly stoic.

And I've cried more in the last three years than I did in the 58 total because I've allowed myself to feel right.

And that's.

That's a huge element that many people, not just men, but, but men especially because of society.

But many people don't allow their vulnerability.

You know, I really get irritated now with coaches who, who try to tell their clients to, you know, we're going to help you get over it.

Well, how about we allow you to sit with it and be comfortable with that before we get over it?

Because I don't think we get over it.

We learn to carry it different.

I hope that answers your question.

Yeah, no, it does.

And you're right.

You're right, because it's not about avoiding our story or suppressing our story.

It's about honoring that story, even though if it was painful or regardless of how it was, and taking the best out of it to be who we want to be or become the image of the individual we want to become.

So I think that what you're saying is really true.

It's not about, oh, I'll help you with this.

No, it's your story, is your feeling, is your attachment.

What is it that is there?

Let's reflect on that without having to react to that, and then you can continue moving forward with that.

So I think the way that you said it and the way that you exposing this is the way to go now.

As a clinician, it's so hard not to step into my clinical therapeutic hat here.

Hopefully I'm doing a good job, but I focus my work and probably you already know all this and the people that are listening, I focus my, my work on beliefs.

You know, I'm a true believer that beliefs shape our reality.

And if we don't change our beliefs, we're going to keep repeating the same story for the rest of our lives.

So I want to know, be.

What was the biggest belief change that you went through?

To be who you are today and to speak the way that you're speaking today to your audience or our audience in this case.

Oh, I like how it sounds.

Our audience.

Our audience today.

I learned early on that you shouldn't believe everything you think because our thoughts are an accumulation of the people around us or the information that we're reading, which then turn into our beliefs.

And it's probable and possible that those thoughts and ideas are wrong.

So if you're, if you're believing wrong information, then your beliefs become wrong.

And so you have to be willing to have the openness to absorb other information that goes against what you're currently already thinking.

Because otherwise you won't be able to discern truth from fiction and you will believe falsehoods, including the beliefs you tell yourself.

We talk so poorly to ourselves that we start to believe that mantra.

The outside world talks poorly to us that we believe that mantra.

God did not create imperfection.

We are not these horrible things we tell ourselves.

And if I spoke to you the way I speak to myself, we would never be friends

100%.

So I have to stop believing my own inner dialogue.

I have to change that into reality.

Is it truth or is it reality?

You know, am I really that horrible of a person?

Or was that just a horrible moment or a horrible incident?

You know, am I truly some fat slob sitting on a couch?

Or did I just eat some potato chips that I shouldn't have for a night?

Right.

So our beliefs do take our actions.

Because I believed when my fiance was in that car accident that my life was over.

And so my actions then created my life was over.

I laid in bed literally for three months doing nothing, waiting for God to take me.

Next was over.

I was just waiting for life to be over.

And until my belief changed that, no, this is wrong, life isn't over.

I need to move forward.

Then my actions changed and I started to move forward.

I have built and lost three businesses for a long time.

As I tried to build Praxis 33, I believed that I was a failed business owner because I had three other evidences of it that's false.

They were different evidence, the different businesses at different times, different circumstances.

But until my belief that, no, I can do this, I'm actually good at this.

I'm actually a damn good show host.

I never wanted to be a podcast host.

I didn't believe that I had the

talent and look at you now, that

I just showed you show differently.

But until my beliefs about those changed, my actions didn't change.

My first shows, if you go back to watch those, they are horrible because they were just a zoom call, a crappy canva back screen and a bad camera.

But you know what was good?

The way I talked to people, the way I communicated with people, how they responded.

It is so thrilling for me when I have someone on my show who says, I never shared that part of my story with anyone.

Thank you for the safe space to do that.

You know where I got that from?

Living on the street.

Learning how to talk to people.

And we can look at the hardships of our life, and it is the tapestry to which our foundation and our success is going to be built on.

But we have to believe that and we have to act upon that.

And until we do that, nothing changes.

Nothing.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

If you don't like the life you're living today, change something, anything.

You don't have to change everything all at once.

Change one thing and see if it doesn't start to change.

Yeah.

And when you're saying change one thing, what comes to mind?

Change what?

One thought, one idea, one belief.

Okay.

If you really believe that you have this passion and desire in you that you want to go do, but you also believe that you can't, or it's too hard, or you don't have the time, or you don't have the money or whatever excuse you're going to attach to it, that belief is just going to stay right here that, oh, I should be doing more, I should have more in my life.

But if you change one thing, like, I'm going to get up an hour earlier to make the extra time, I'm going to quit watching two episodes of Netflix and make the time, and you start doing that thing, then it starts progressing forward and suddenly you're doing what you wanted to do, but you only changed one thing.

You changed one belief and you took action upon it.

Right.

So with that being said, I want to know, what are the beliefs behind the warrior's spirit?

How can I become a warrior and how can I have that spirit?

I think, personally, everyone has a warrior spirit in them if they are still here today fighting.

Because it is very easy in the darkened world that we live in.

If you believe the news or social media or all this negativity, all this crap, it is very easy to fall into depression and to fall into, you know, lack of hope and lack of desire and just succumb to, oh, apocalypse is upon us.

So I'm just going to wait for the horses.

No, if you're still standing and you're still fighting and you're still trying to move forward, you have that warrior spirit.

Many of us have either thought of or attempted suicide because of that darkness that we faced.

Those of us who are still standing through it, who found a way out of it, still have that warrior.

And I don't say this about anyone who's actually committed the suicide because I'm a suicide survivor myself.

My family members have attempted it, so I'm very familiar with suicide.

But what I find in My own world is that those who lose all hope are the ones who go through with it.

Those who have one blade of grass worth of any hope step back from that ledge and move past it.

And, and so.

And that goes again to reaching out to others, help, finding the help forward.

But to do that takes that courage which gives you that spirit of a warrior.

I don't know any warrior, metaphorically or not, who goes into their battle without some intrepidation and fear, without some, you know, this might be my last battle, but they still go for it because of what they are fighting for, whether it be their family, their friends, themselves, whatever.

So all of us have that capacity for a warrior spirit, and the meaning is different for every individual.

And you, you're a true warrior, too.

You know, we've talked about it.

You're literally and metaphorically a warrior because you were.

You served.

You served in the armed forces.

You did battle, right?

Yes.

And you, as a young girl, decided, oh, I'm not going to live in Colombia.

I'm going to move to America.

And you planted yourself in Miami and you did battle.

You did battle to live on a thousand dollars, to learn the language, to immerse yourself, to give yourself a new life.

And you found early on that where you ended up wasn't where you wanted to be.

So you pivoted and moved and became Dr. Erica Mateus, author, speaker, clinician.

You fought your battles to become your own warrior, and you have that warrior spirit.

Yeah.

Well, thank you for saying that.

Appreciate it.

Because, yeah, I resonate so much and that aspect with you and the way that you are sharing your story with me today, with us today, because.

Yeah, absolutely.

And when you were talking about your beliefs and your constant thought of, I can, I can do this, I can, yes, I can move forward.

That was my belief as well.

I mean, sometimes, you know, life can be very tough and very rough for some people.

And the easiest way to go is I'm giving in, I'm surrendering to the pain and to this.

And there's, you know, if you change the belief or if you have the personality or the idea or the thought or the endurance, the discipline, whatever that is, or the belief that you can, you can overcome all these obstacles, because again, yes, life is going to show you tons of obstacles.

Many times you.

You probably think that you're going to give up, that there's no future or vision on what you're doing, but the thought or the belief that you can, like it happened to you in the same way that it happened to me is what brought us here.

And you, the warrior spirit and me, the winning mentality that if we merge these two is the same thing.

It's just phrasing different words.

But at the same time is the story of empowerment and self leadership, you know?

Yeah, I think the, the empowerment people feel helpless.

They, they don't feel like, I tell my clients all the time, like, oh, they're like, oh, I can't do this, or oh, a thousand other people have done it, so who's gonna listen to me?

And I, and I use this analogy every single time.

Go to any bread aisle and look at the bread.

There are 30 plus different varieties on, all wrapped in plastic, all sliced, but all being purchased by somebody.

They need to hear it from you and your voice.

You and I have very similar beliefs.

We have very similar programs, we have very similar coaching styles, but people are going to hear it differently from you than they do me.

You know, our voice is meant for somebody.

We don't know who that is.

We don't know who's going to resonate with.

But it has to come through you.

It was given to you to come through you so the right people will hear you.

It has to come from you.

So stop the I can't and start the I cans.

If you're going to play a what if game, why not play what if it goes right?

Exactly.

Yes, I agree with you.

You can either go for oh, this is the worst, or it might be super bad, or I don't want to do this, or you can go to the what if it goes right?

What if this is meant to be for me and both sides of the spectrum require the same amount of energy.

Absolutely.

It's just that one leads to negative results and the other one to positive results, you know?

Yeah.

I wish I would have listened to my dad a lot earlier because he always used to say, you know, what's the worst that's going to happen?

They're going to take you out back and shoot you.

Like, if that's not going to be the end result, then go do it because you can always pivot off of it.

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

You know, it doesn't mean you're tied to it forever, but go do it.

See if it does work.

I wish I listened to him a lot sooner.

I know, right?

Oh, yeah.

We would have saved so much in our life and, you know, but the thing is, we wouldn't be here doing probably all these things.

So things happen for a reason and it's perfect the way that it evolved, right?

Absolutely.

Yeah.

The butterfly effect is real.

If you go back and change your past, you're definitely changing your future, and that can be a good thing.

You don't like where you're at or where your future is going, then change now.

You can't change the before, but you can change now.

But if you.

If you sit in the wish of, I coulda, I shoulda, then you just shoulda all over yourself.

And there's nothing that happens because we can't change.

I'm actually writing a speech now about that.

We can't change what was written.

We can only change the chapters that are ahead of us.

And we have the pen.

Quit giving it to other people.

Mm.

Yes, absolutely.

Present is a gift, Right.

The past is a memory and the future is an idea based on what the decisions of what we're doing today.

The decisions that we're making today.

Yeah.

I heard someone once say that if we have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, all we can do is pee on the present.

You have to live in your present as you're building your future.

You can't spend all of your time in your past, and you can't spend all of your time in your future.

You have to be present today to build today, because that's all you have control over.

Absolutely.

And one more thing, because I think we're getting closer to the end of the show.

We got a couple minutes.

Yep.

Okay.

But what I was going to say is, yes, it's easy for us now to talk about change this, change that, but for all people that are listening to the show right now, what do you think they can do?

They can contact you, they can look for you, they can reach out to people.

You talk about being vulnerable, ask for help.

But usually when we're sitting in the darkness, we think, am I going to call my dad?

Am I going to call my mom?

No, I don't like them.

No.

I don't relate to them.

So where do I start this process and start changing my beliefs and find the help that I need?

As I said earlier, I think that really comes down to your level of desire.

And I know that it's very hard for people to ask for help, especially givers.

And many people out there see themselves as givers.

They're the doers or the fixers.

They're the helpers.

And then somebody asks, you know, can I help you?

And they're like, no, no, no, I'm good.

Right.

Yeah.

Changing that.

And I Have discovered that when we like Erica, if you, you asked me to do this show, if I would have said no, no, I'm good, this would have denied you the opportunity to experience what you're experiencing on your side of the camera.

If someone asks me for help and I say no, I deny them the opportunity to be the giver that they're trying to be.

So receiving help isn't just for us always.

Sometimes it's to allow the other person to actually give.

And in my vulnerability, I've learned that with my wife, I'm a very stubborn, hard headed man, very independent.

So when she wants to do things for me, my first reaction is no, I got it, I'm good.

But that denies her the opportunity to pour into me.

So not only am I denying myself the help, I'm denying her the compassion to give.

Now I'm denying two people instead of one.

So are you going to reach out, get over yourself?

Yes.

Reach out to anybody.

I don't care.

You're not walking this path alone.

Right.

So, yes, realize that you are not alone in whatever it is you're going through.

But nobody will know that you're not alone if you don't reach out.

How many times do you hear, oh, I didn't know they were going through that.

Oh, I wish I would have known that I would have helped because they're so stubborn.

They don't want to, they don't want to bother anybody.

You know what's a bother?

You not being here.

You know what's a bother?

You being in such despair that you're no longer living a life.

If you don't want to bother anybody, then be involved with them.

Right?

Yeah.

No, I agree with you.

And that makes me think of also just reach out to anybody and ask for that help.

What happens when that door close?

Then knock another door, find more help, Continue asking.

Is that kind of like what you're saying?

Does, does one no define you?

Really?

Eight billion people on this planet and one no defines you.

Really?

And I can tell from my own personal experience, a lot of my help came from strangers.

Not close friends, not family strangers.

So if my family and my friends weren't willing to help and I never asked a stranger, never struck up a conversation, where would I be?

So yeah, one no is going to define you.

I can promise you you're going to get way more no's than you get yeses.

It's how life is.

Yeah, true.

So that it's silly to me.

Yeah, no, beautiful.

I agree with you.

So I guess this is what people need to do.

Go look for help and find a solution.

The solution will always be there.

If this door closes, then another one will be open.

And if they can't find anything, then find you, Daryl.

Warriors of spirit and your show, you know.

Yeah.

I think in today's social media, everything instantaneous world, if you can't find somebody or something, maybe you're not looking hard enough because you like where you are and the no becomes your excuse.

Oh, well, they said no, so.

Yeah.

How bad did you want it?

Yes.

The comfort zone.

Oh, that's dangerous.

Comfort zone is very dangerous.

So.

Well, I appreciate you taking over this show.

I appreciate all of this.

I hope that it, you know, was what you had hoped for.

It's more than I had hoped for.

It was wonderful.

So I do think that version three will come to where we can just have more beautiful dialogue and just thank you for doing this with me today.

Absolutely.

I mean, it was a privilege, you know, and even when you said that, I'm probably the first one interviewing you in your show.

Still in your show.

Yes.

So, yeah, this is definitely a first one.

Yeah.

I will mark this one for sure.

But I appreciate you.

And if you do want to get in touch with me, you can do so at Link Bio, Darrell.

And if you do want to get a hold of Dr. Mateus, you can do so on her website, ericamateus.com and as always, thank you for joining us

on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

We're now on all the major platforms as well as on roku via the ProsperityV app and@breakthroughradio.net so be sure to like or subscribe to catch all the episodes.

As always, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So remember to be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

Sam.