If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “I should be further along by now,” or “I should just figure this out on my own,” you’re not alone—and you’re definitely not broken. In this episode, we’re looking at the quiet, persistent “shoulds” that can show up in your private practice and how they might be holding you back.

I’ll walk you through some of the most common shoulds I hear from therapists—like “I should already be full,” “I should be doing more,” or “I should just be grateful”—and offer grounded reframes to help you untangle those thoughts. Whether you’re comparing yourself to other clinicians, feeling frustrated by slow growth, or second-guessing your path, this conversation is here to remind you that your way is valid—and worthy.

If you’ve been hard on yourself lately, this one’s for you.

Here’s what you’ll learn in this episode:

1️⃣ Why the belief that you “should already be full” is often rooted in unrealistic expectations—and what to focus on instead

2️⃣ How doing fewer things with intention can actually lead to more growth (and less burnout)

3️⃣ The difference between gratitude and guilt when it comes to wanting more or making changes in your practice

Resources & Links Mentioned:

• Confident Copy: walkerstrategyco.com/cc
• The Walker Strategy Co website: walkerstrategyco.com

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Explore more marketing support for therapists: The Walker Strategy Co website

About Marketing Therapy

Marketing Therapy is the podcast where therapists learn how to market their private practices without burnout, self-doubt, or sleazy tactics. Hosted by marketing coach, strategist, and founder of Walker Strategy Co, each episode brings you clear, grounded advice to help you attract the right-fit, full-fee clients and grow a practice you feel proud of.

Hey everyone.

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Welcome back to Marketing Therapy.

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It's funny when I think about the

clients that my clients therapists most

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often serve, it is some version of a

high functioning, over-functioning,

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anxious perfectionistic woman.

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Now, not all of the therapists

I serve work with that type of

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person , but it is definitely the

most common client type that we see.

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And what's interesting is often the

clients themselves, the clinicians

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themselves are also high functioning,

anxious, high achieving women.

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Is that interesting?

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But as I was reflecting on kind of

this phenomenon, I've noticed how often

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I chat with therapists about the way

that their clients should themselves.

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Do you see your clients should themselves?

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I should be further along.

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I should be handling this better.

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I should be over it by now.

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This shame and lack of self-compassion

that is so common in not just

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women certainly, but people

having this type of experience.

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And how curious is it that therapists

are often supporting their clients in

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this shoulding themselves and helping

them grow in self-compassion and

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greater awareness of what's really

happening there when they themselves

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are also often shoulding themselves.

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Now, your work is usually about helping

your clients notice those thoughts.

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Like I said, extend some compassion.

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Practice grace.

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But I see so many of you doing it in

your own practices, shoulding yourselves.

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I should already be full.

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I should know how to do this.

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I should do what everyone else is doing.

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Now, when you are running a business,

you aren't working for someone else.

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You aren't clocking in

and clocking out, right?

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You're creating something

that is truly your own.

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You're carrying financial stakes.

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Right.

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You are probably a contributor to

your household, possibly the only one.

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You might be breaking generational

patterns in your family by going out and

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becoming this highly trained professional.

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And not just that, but also

starting a business, right?

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I don't need to tell you that

the pressure here is high.

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The pressure is very, very high, and

I think that's why so many therapists

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get caught shooting themselves,

whether they realize it or not.

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So today I wanna look at the most common

shoulds that therapists put on themselves.

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And if you are caught in one of

them, what they're costing you,

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but also what it could open up

if you're able to let them go.

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Now, growing a practice, becoming a CEO

mindset, business owner, all of those

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things, it's not about perfection.

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You're never gonna get there, right?

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We're always gonna have struggles.

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But I do wanna encourage you here to free

yourself from some of the old definitions

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of what a quote unquote good clinician

should look like, so you can build a

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practice that actually fits you, not

just now, but also for the long term.

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All right, so one of the most common

shoulds that I hear from clinicians is

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I should already be full or a variation.

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I should be seeing results faster.

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Oftentimes this is rooted, quite

frankly, just in unrealistic

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expectations in this market.

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It is very unlikely that you're

going to launch a practice from

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the ground up and have a full

caseload in a handful of months.

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That takes time, right?

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And we've all seen the

overnight success stories.

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We've all seen the people that are

making six figures their first year

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in practice, or multiple six figures.

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And while those are wonderful stories

to know about and to strive for, they

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can sometimes lull us into a sense of

believing that that's the experience for

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everyone, and that if we aren't having

that experience, then something is wrong.

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Okay?

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I want you to remember that

sustainable growth takes longer,

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but it also lasts longer.

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And that's not to say if you are

very, very successful in your

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first year, that it can't continue.

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But it is to say that if you are

slowly but surely making progress in

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your practice, chances are that slow.

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But sure, progress is only going

to continue over the long term.

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Not full yet is not the same as failing.

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The only way you fail here is if you quit.

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So how could you shift that here?

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You know, your clients don't change

their patterns into sessions, right?

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Therapy takes time.

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So too does growing a therapy practice.

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Sometimes when I see clinicians

shooting themselves in this place,

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there is like it or not, a bit of

a sense of entitlement as well.

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Well, I did my time.

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I did the marketing.

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I.

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Launched the website, I reached

out to that networking contact

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and they never got back to me.

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And of course, this is never

intentional, but it, there can be

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a sense of entitlement to clients.

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I was actually speaking with a clinician

who launched her practice during the

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pandemic, which was in many ways a

good time, quote unquote, to launch a

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practice because the need was so great.

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Well, here we are in post pandemic

times where the need has shifted.

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The market has shifted.

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Clients aren't just clamoring to go

to any available therapist anymore.

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And so what used to work to get

clients might not work the same way.

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And it can be tempting in the realization

that you might have to make a change

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to feel like you shouldn't have to.

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And believe me, the only reason I'm saying

this is because I know that feeling.

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I too have felt entitled in my own

business in times as I look back.

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But sometimes this feeling that I

should already be full or I should

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be seeing results faster is because I

believe that I've already done my time.

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And so I would encourage you, however

you're experiencing this, should,

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if I have said something that has

struck a chord with you, I encourage

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you to replace the frustration you're

feeling with a bit of curiosity.

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What can I learn here?

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What is this season showing me?

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We've been talking in the past

couple of episodes about the

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seasons of private practice.

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How can you appreciate the

one you're in right now?

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What would failure actually mean

and what evidence do you have that

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maybe you're not failing at all?

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I want to normalize here,

slow and steady progress.

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You are in this for the long game, right?

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You didn't launch a practice

for the next 1, 3, 5 years.

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You did it for the long game, and that's

not to say you can't be successful

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in the one, three or five years.

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But it does mean that what you're

creating, slow and steady, is likely

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going to be incredibly sustainable

as long as you keep pushing forward.

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So what can you learn here?

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If you're finding yourself, shoulding

yourself in this way, the next

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should that I see a lot of clinicians

fall into, I should know how to do

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this, or another version, I should

just figure it out on my own.

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Now, understandably, many clinicians

pride themselves on independence

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you probably have story after

story of how you have been scrappy

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and made it work up until now.

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And obviously we talk

about this all the time.

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Grad school didn't cover business,

and so there's this rub between you

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being independent and scrappy and

self-sufficient, and also never having

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actually been taught these things.

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Whatever these things are.

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Maybe it's accounting, maybe it's

billing, maybe it's marketing, maybe it's

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writing copy, whatever that might be.

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But in the same way that you see your

own clients' benefit in some ways from

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self-help or self-care practices and

strategies, it can't replace therapy.

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Therapy deepens and accelerates

growth that a client on

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themselves can rarely experience.

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And so if you're someone feeling bad about

the fact that you should know how to do

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this or you should just figure it out on

your own, I believe you probably could.

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DIY everything.

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But at what cost?

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What is the cost of continuing

to believe that you should

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figure this out on your own?

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The time, the energy, the frustration,

the opportunity cost of staying there.

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The smartest clinicians I know,

the most successful ones have

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invested in support to fill the

gaps they themselves could not fill.

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Sometimes that means hiring

someone for their website.

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Not always, though.

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Sometimes it's seeking out a coach.

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Sometimes it's working on their mindset.

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Sometimes it's outsourcing the menial

tasks of their business that keep them

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spinning in their admin time, but they

are investing in support so they can

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focus on the work only they can do.

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Only you can show up in the room and

do what you do with your clients.

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And so if you're finding yourself feeling

bad about your quote unquote inability to

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do something by yourself, I wanna remind

you that seeking help isn't weakness.

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It is wisdom and it is so often

beneficial over the long term, even

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if it feels expensive in time, energy,

money, whatever it might be upfront.

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Alright, the next one

I should be doing more.

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Have you ever thought this

one, I should be doing more?

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That clinician over there in the Facebook

group said they're doing this thing.

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Oh, that person did a lunch

and learn at a doctor's office.

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Oh, this person is getting

followers on TikTok.

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This person talked about SEO or blogging.

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It is very difficult in the hyper

social world we live in and that

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you operate your practice in to not

feel drawn in 1 million directions.

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Pulled it toward every platform

and strategy out there believing

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that maybe this will be the thing.

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Okay.

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We call that shiny object syndrome.

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If you've never heard that term before,

but it's you being distracted by the

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new shiny object that someone suggested

or you saw online or you heard about.

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I've said this for a really long

time, since very, very early on

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in the days of Walker Strategy Co.

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And I believe this more now

than I have ever believed it.

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When you focus on fewer things.

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And do them with absolute excellence,

you get far more results than when

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you do a bunch of things subpar.

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So if you look at all the ways that you

could grow your practice and you select

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just a handful that feel authentic to you

and sustainable, and you commit to doing

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them over time very, very well, you will

get such better results and also enjoy the

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journey a heck of a lot more than if you

dabble in every single strategy out there.

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Please hear me.

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That more activity, doing quote unquote

more, does not equate to more progress.

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This is a quality over quantity issue.

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You've probably heard the jack of

all trades, but master of none phrase

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are you being a jack of all trades in your

marketing and therefore a master of none.

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Or are you being intentional

and thoughtful and doing

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those things well over time?

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Refusing to be distracted, refusing

to just be drawn to something

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brand new just because someone else

said it might work, and instead

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doing what feels right for you.

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Because growing a practice,

it is not one size fits all.

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Yeah, you can absolutely dance

on Instagram reels and have an

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incredibly successful practice.

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You could also never show up

on camera and write blogs.

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You could pay for Google

ads when done well.

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You can network your heart out.

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There are so many ways you can do

this, and just because someone else

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experienced success in one way does not

mean that yours has to look the same.

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I've gotten countless messages from

clinicians who have thanked me for

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freeing them from the belief they held

that they had to be on social media

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because it felt so inauthentic to them.

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And they realized, oh my goodness.

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When I don't have to do that, it frees

me up to do what I do want to do.

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And the success stories I have that

follow that revelation are crazy.

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You don't have to do more.

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Do a handful of things that make sense for

you and do them with excellence over time.

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That is what will lead to

sustainability and growth.

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Alright, the next one.

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I should just be grateful

for the clients I have.

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Have you felt this?

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Maybe you look around and you see others

having a hard time gaining traction and

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getting clients, and there's a guilt about

wanting more when others are struggling.

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You have some clients, shouldn't

you just be grateful for them?

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Or this can sometimes be a should.

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That sounds like I should

say yes to everyone.

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You know?

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I am afraid of turning clients away,

who I could help and who will pay me.

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Remember, two things

can be true at a time.

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Gratitude for the clients you

have and a desire for change.

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Wanting something different,

looking to pivot in your niche.

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Looking too deep panel doesn't mean

you aren't grateful for the clients

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who currently have, doesn't mean you

don't cherish those relationships

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or care about their progress.

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Two things can be true at the same time.

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And the boundaries you set around

who you're attracting and who you're

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bringing into your practice are what

contribute to the sustainability

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of your practice over time.

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Because the more you can show up in

the room as the best version of the

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therapist that you are, the longer

you'll be able to stay in this game.

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The more you'll enjoy it and the

better outcomes your clients will get.

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Saying no to some clients allows you

to say a more wholehearted yes to the

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right ones saying quote unquote no is

an act of integrity, not rejection.

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And you can, like I said, cherish

the clients you currently have

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and want something different.

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And if you have felt that tension,

especially as you look around with other

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people, perhaps struggling to get any

clients, please know that that's okay,

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that you can live in that tension and

both things can be true at the same time.

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All right.

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What about this one?

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I should sound more professional.

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I think this one is a remnant of

the blank slate buttoned up ideal

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that clinicians, especially of the

yester year, we're very much taught.

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We've seen the way in this market

that clients want humanity.

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They're looking for connection.

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They're looking for deep, deep

understanding, not jargon, not

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professional language, and it's why

in marketing therapy, in this podcast,

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we talk so much about finding your

voice because your authentic voice,

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it communicates more confidence

than formality can, than a list

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of trainings or certifications

or where you went to school.

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Can.

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Your authentic voice is where the

relationship with your clients begins.

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I've said before that your clients

right now are wading through

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an absolute sea of sameness.

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Right now they're opening up website

after website with stacked rocks

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and beige color schemes and cardigan

therapists, and of course, none

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of these things are bad, right?

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I'm just talking about cliches here.

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But whatever it is that you

bring to the table, whatever

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sets you apart, lean into that.

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If you swear in session, I always

tell therapists that's one of the

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best ways to connect in your copy.

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Swear in your copy.

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If you have pink hair, if you like

bold colors, do whatever it takes.

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And if you like the beige,

the cardigan, that's okay too.

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Embrace that.

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Own it, and be authentic about it.

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What clients don't want right

now is the removed cold.

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Hard to connect to clinician.

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They're looking for a two-way

street for engagement and to

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be in the room with a human.

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How can you show up to

your marketing as a human?

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Professionalism matters.

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No doubt about it, and clients want that,

but professionalism does not outweigh

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authenticity, particularly in this market.

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All right, I got one more for you.

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This is a little bit similar to one

I mentioned earlier, but I should

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do what everyone else is doing.

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Kind of similar to that.

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I should be doing more, I was mentioning

earlier, but this one I think comes

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down to a lot of that comparison game.

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Comparing yourself to peers where they are

people you graduated with and when they

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started a practice, how full are they?

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How full are you?

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This person raised their fees, this

person hit this income, and sometimes

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what that can lead to is a desire

to reverse engineer their success.

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Well, I heard this person did X,

Y, and Z to get a full practice,

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and so I'm gonna do X, Y, and Z.

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Remember, the therapeutic relationship

is more important than the modality here.

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The way that you grow your practice

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matters far less than how you show

up to those things someone's path.

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SEO, Instagram Networking

doesn't have to be yours.

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The tactic by which you grow

your practice is secondary.

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Your voice, your energy,

your authenticity is primary.

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If you're doing things in your marketing

because someone said you should, and

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you despise it, and quite frankly,

resent it a little bit, guess what?

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That's gonna show up in your marketing.

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And when you copy others, whether

you mean to or not, you dilute the

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relationship with your ideal client.

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So whatever it is that you choose to

do to grow your practice, let your

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strategy serve that, not replace it.

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Lead from an authentic place.

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Make decisions about your practice.

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From that place, show up to your marketing

and to your business as the version

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of yourself you want to be, not what

someone else said you should do or what

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that other successful therapist did do.

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What's this gonna look like for you?

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You get to carve that path.

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Alright?

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Did any of these hit home for you?

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I'm curious.

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Just like you help clients notice when

they're shoulding themselves, I want you

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to remember that you can practice the same

compassion with yourself, and I hope this

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episode invited you perhaps to do that.

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Remember that being a good

clinician isn't about polish.

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It isn't about how quickly

you fill your caseload.

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It is so much more about authenticity

and discernment and clarity.

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That's what I want for you.

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Like I said, we've been talking

about the seasons of private practice

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recently and enjoying the ride.

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How could you better enjoy this ride?

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Enjoy this journey and extend yourself

some compassion and some grace.

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Get out of these mindset traps you

might not even realize you're in.

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I heard from a clinician who just

graduated Confident Copy a couple of

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weeks ago, and she told us that this

program really helped me feel confident

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in my niche, the therapy I offer to

clients and the quality of my work.

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I really feel like without this program,

I wouldn't know the value of the work

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I do to the level that I know now.

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She left confident copy with incredible

copy, I can tell you 'cause I read it, but

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also with this really incredible newfound

understanding of what she brings to the

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room and how critical and valuable it is.

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That's what happens when you

market from authenticity.

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You reconnect to your own confidence.

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And it's not to say that clinician or

any of us will ever, not should ourselves

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ever again, but it sure does free you

up to enjoy the journey and to make

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decisions from a place of authenticity.

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It's one of the reasons I love

Confident Copy so much because it

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gives people more than just words.

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It gives them ownership

of their own expertise.

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They really step into that in

ways they don't expect to often

341

as they leave the program.

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Remember when you decided

to grow your practice?

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You built this practice

to be uniquely yours.

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Don't let anyone else's expectations or

your own shoulds take that away from you.

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Okay?

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I hope this one was helpful for you.

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Invited you to reflect a bit.

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Know that I'm cheering you on that.

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I believe you can do this in

whatever way is right for you.

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Thanks for being here today.

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I'll see you in the next episode.