In this special game segment from The Iconic Midlife, Tonya Meisenbach plays "The Fire Couldn't Take..."—a powerful fill-in-the-blank game that reveals the strength, hope, and resilience that carried her through life's darkest chapter.
With every answer, Tonya reminds us that while tragedy can change our lives, it doesn't have to define who we become.
This isn't just a game—it's a moving conversation about confidence, purpose, love, dreams, and the woman she's still becoming.
In this game, Tonya reveals:
• What the fire could never take from her
• The strength that carried her through recovery
• What continues to inspire her every day
• The dreams she's still chasing
• The legacy she hopes to leave behind
If you've ever wondered what true resilience sounds like, this is a conversation you won't forget.
If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to follow The Iconic Midlife, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little hope today.
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Transcripts
Roxy Manning:
The name of the game is the fire couldn't take. And then it's a fill in the blank because you are so inspiring. So I want to know all of these answers.
The fire couldn't take my confidence because blank.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Because it comes from growth and healing, because it's inside of me. You can't take it away.
Roxy Manning:
It is ingrained.
Tonya Meisenbach:
It's not on my skin.
Roxy Manning:
The fire couldn't take my ability to.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Blink, love, and just love people and want to help people that didn't get taken away. His darkness doesn't dim my light.
Roxy Manning:
The fire couldn't take my purpose because.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Blank, the pain built the purpose. I always say you turn pain into purpose. So the fire couldn't take my purpose because it's part of it.
Roxy Manning:
Tanya, we always like to play a fun game with our guests if you.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Are up for it. I love games.
Roxy Manning:
Let's do it. Amazing. Okay, so the name of the game is the fire couldn't take. And then it's a fill in the blank.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Okay.
Roxy Manning:
Because you are so inspiring. So I wanna know all of these answers. Okay. So whatever comes to mind first.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Okay. I'm gonna do the first thing.
Roxy Manning:
Yeah, totally. The fire couldn't take my confidence because blank.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Because it comes from growth and healing, because it's inside of me. You can't take it away. Yeah, it is ingrained. It's not on my skin.
Roxy Manning:
Yes, yes, absolutely. The fire couldn't take my ability to.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Blink, love, and just love people and want to help people that didn't get taken away. His darkness doesn't dim my light.
Roxy Manning:
That's huge. The fire couldn't take my love for.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Oh, life. I would say my kids, but never that. But my love for life. My love for. Actually, my love for beauty also. That really amplified.
I've always been that girl that wants to play with hair and makeup, but it. It couldn't. Couldn't take my love for. For any of the things that make me feel good about myself and that.
Roxy Manning:
Really are about who you are. You know, like that's something that he could never take.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Oh, my God. That's who I am.
Roxy Manning:
That's who you are.
Tonya Meisenbach:
He never wanted me to be that, though.
Roxy Manning:
Oh, he didn't?
Tonya Meisenbach:
No, they never want you to be that. They always kind of insult you. You look cute and they kind of look at you like you're wearing that so they tip away at you. So he didn't want that.
And that's really important. I'm glad you point that out.
Roxy Manning:
Yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:
He couldn't take it.
Roxy Manning:
He couldn't take it.
Tonya Meisenbach:
And the fire gave it back.
Roxy Manning:
Yes. Yes. That's.
Tonya Meisenbach:
That's amazing.
Roxy Manning:
That's amazing.
Tonya Meisenbach:
That's pretty amazing.
Roxy Manning:
I was like, yes. Of the fire.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Couldn't take my dreams of blank coming to Hollywood. I always. I wanted to do this when I was 18 years old, but I didn't have any money, so I was in North Carolina. Not a good idea.
So I had to go to school instead and have a career. But, you know, everything that I wanted to do when I was 18. I got here when I was 51 and started doing perfect time, midlife.
Roxy Manning:
Perfect time, perfect.
Tonya Meisenbach:
The kids are grown.
Roxy Manning:
Yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:
And it's on God's time. That's what we have to remember. I wanted it at 18. And God said, hold on, wait, wait, wait. Now?
Roxy Manning:
Yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:
And now I actually have something to offer.
Roxy Manning:
Life experience. I mean, life experience. It's like the time. I think the. Just midlife in general is such an amazing time. It is to start something new.
Tonya Meisenbach:
I think it is. I mean, look at how many of us are so successful. Martha Stewart.
Roxy Manning:
Yes.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Started what, our business at 50.
Roxy Manning:
Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:
To become a billionaire. And. And I always remember that, you know, I'm like, she can do it. I can do it.
Because I'm really, you know, at 50 is where it's like, okay, now I can figure out how to make money doing this because I. I started doing this out of love, didn't need the money, wasn't concerned about how to make it. And now I. Now I support myself with it.
And, you know, I wanted to come to la, I wanted to come to Hollywood, but I can't sing and I can't dance, so what was I going to do any day? So now I actually have something I can do. Right? You do. Now I have success. So God said, hold on, Davy, you know, hold on a minute, baby.
Roxy Manning:
And screw the timelines, right?
Tonya Meisenbach:
No timelines. You do what you want whenever it's not too late.
Roxy Manning:
Right.
Tonya Meisenbach:
And I certainly don't feel, you know, people do you feel? No, it's not owned. I'm 53. I feel. I have energy. I feel just as. I'm probably better than I have.
Roxy Manning:
Yes. You know what? Yes. We also don't give as many fucks.
Tonya Meisenbach:
As we used to.
Roxy Manning:
You know, it's like. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Exactly.
Roxy Manning:
We don't care about what other people are saying and thinking and doing. You know, it's about our time right.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Now and what we want to do and what we want to accomplish. Yes. And I want, too. I love makeup. I love beauty. I want to do some modeling, and I want to help women. I want to help people.
Not just women, not just people in domestic violence situations, but like you said, people who can't quite find their happiness, their confidence. Because I do have a lot of followers that aren't at all related to burns or abuse. And it's good to be able to live a life where you can help people.
Lead by example.
Roxy Manning:
Yes. 100%. 100%. Which is what you're. The fire couldn't take my purpose because.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Blank, you can find the pain built the purpose. I always say you turn pain into purpose. So the fire couldn't taint my purpose because it's part of it.
Roxy Manning:
That's right. I love how you've made this all your story and your journey. You've taken ownership of all of it, and I love that.
Tonya Meisenbach:
Own it.
Roxy Manning:
I love that. I love that. Okay, how are you living iconically now?
Tonya Meisenbach:
Iconically.
Roxy Manning:
You are an icon.
Tonya Meisenbach:
I feel like iconically. That's amazing. I'm living my best life. I'm happy. When I get up, I'm just doing things.
I'm taking care of myself and doing things that I wasn't doing for a lot of years. And when we get to midlife, we might start to slow down some things or just feel tired with it, and I don't. I feel like living iconically.
Get up, get dressed, you know, do your hair, do whatever you're gonna do, but just do it.
Roxy Manning:
Just do it. Put that foot in front of the other and do it.
