hello there,

have you found your sweetheart yet or are you bored already or are you happily single or desperately single ?

we are all so different. How can we find a match when it comes to relationships ?

in this episode I will dive a little deeper and share with you how I learnt to get to know people

thanks so much for listening, reviewing and sharing

love

Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:10

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I hope you're doing

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well. Thank you so much for spending some time with me

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today. Today's episode is about relationships and how different

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we all are, and how dating, being with a person is so

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different. When you are in your 30s, maybe 40s, compared to when

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you are in your teens or in your 20s. At least that's how it was

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for me. Back then, as a teenager, you might be insecure

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about your hobbies or about your physical appearance, you want to

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impress the other person you want to be liked, you want to

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maybe share your hobby with them. And then in your 20s, you

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want to be seen as a full grown adult, with a job with a purpose

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and impress even more not only on a physical level, but maybe

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even intellectually. And in your 30s 40s I mean, in the 40s, it

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might be very different. I haven't experienced the 40s yet.

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But in the 30s you realize holy, I need to know that other person

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is Yeah, impression is for the moment, but trust is forever.

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How do you build trust with a person you have to listen, and

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you have to be fully present. It is not enough to wanting to

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impress them anymore, be it on a physical level, or

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intellectually. It goes more into depth. And if you're single

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at the moment, I really, really want you to listen to that

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episode, because I've learned that not too long ago, what I'm

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about to share with you. And I thought it changed my life, it

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changed the way I looked at dating, and I looked at life in

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general. So here we are listening and producing this

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podcast. And I've talked about it before, it is most important

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that you know who you are. You have to know what you're drawn

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to, and why. So many people out there, see a person and think,

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oh, that person is out of my league. And don't even try to

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connect, because they just judge by the physical. But they don't

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know that maybe deep down that person is longing for you and

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needs you and would feel strongly connected to you and

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would be able to relate to you. But you judge them by their

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physical and think out of my league. Not worth it. I'm not

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going to waste my time. And then when you start a conversation

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with somebody so additionally to lowering yourself, you need to

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listen and really find out can I connect with that person? Or is

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it just on a physical level? Would they be sorry? Would they

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be able to understand me? Or is it a waste of time and we're

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just attracted to each other? Because we're both very

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beautiful people and ambitious and interesting to be around.

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Can that person handle your weak spots, your soft spots? And can

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you handle their weak spots? Their soft spots? So you see

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dating goes way deeper than just the attractiveness? Just maybe

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horniness and just the

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or how do we call it social status.

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If you are looking for a long term Um, relationship, you have

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to make sure that you can relate with that person on many, many

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levels. So we have family, how is that person relating to his

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or her family? Are they very close? Do they need to contact?

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Or are they totally independent? What are your views on that? And

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how do you relate to your family? When it comes to health

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and fitness? How do you keep yourself healthy and fit? Most

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importantly, healthy, and how they do they keep themselves

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healthy and fit. You see, a lot of times we enter relationships

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because of wrong decision making, we feel lonely, or we

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connect on a couple levels. And that's just good enough for now.

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But if you're looking for the long term thing, then you have

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to go a little bit deeper. So we had health, we had family

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financially, if you are in your 30s, you have to be sure to be

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financially stable, you cannot rely on your partner, and your

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partner cannot rely on you. Unless you are heading for the

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classic provider and receiver role. And you would enjoy that

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role. You have to make sure that both people can be brutally

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honest when it comes to their financial status. And then we

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have the lovemaking the physical touch. Can you connect on that

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level? Do you both want the same? Or is one person more in

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need of physical touch and sex than the other? There has to be

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a balance. And again, it's not only the chemistry and the first

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couple weeks that will define your future. And then when it

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comes to the future, do you have similar views is maybe one part

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and to having cats and settling down. And the other is into

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traveling and feeling independent. You have to figure

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out these things very carefully. Not to aggressively be open for

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suggestions. But you got to know what you need and want. And your

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counterpart so to say has to be very clear about what they want.

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Because if they don't know it, chances are they will wake up

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one day and want something else than you have right now. And is

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that the end of the relationship then? Yes, maybe? Maybe you guys

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can figure things out afterwards. But it's very tough

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at times, when one person wakes up and realizes Oh shit, I

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actually don't want to have kids, I want to be independent.

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And now you invested all your time and that person wanting to

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build something and create something and it's being

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destroyed with just one discussion. So when it comes to

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boundaries, are you very clear with your boundaries? Are you

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clear with how much time you want to spend with that person

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and how you want to live your life? Or are you more of a

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people pleaser? And you just go with the flow and when stuff

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comes up, you just voice it and say that you don't like it or

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you like it a lot. So setting boundaries is a very, very

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important thing to learn about another person because it shows

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character it shows what they made off and it will show you

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very quickly if you want to connect with that person on a

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deeper level. I was walking in the forest today it's a very

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rainy Sunday afternoon and I just looked at the trees and

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again and again I realized wow look at all those trees. Not one

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tree looks like the other. Yet there are so beautiful and

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unique and I feel we can apply that on to people. People are so

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beautiful fallen so unique. And we really have to be interested

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and curious to find out who that person is, in order to connect

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deeply in order to have that magical connection that can lift

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you up to higher levels and make you feel stronger than you were

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before. You don't meet and feel the need to fix the other person

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or a rescue. You meet the other person because you have

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admiration and utter respect for them. And there's a little bit

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of mystery and there's a little bit of playfulness, and trust.

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When you get to know what personnel and you know how their

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mind functions, you build trust and trust, can be forever. You

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can be open and transparent about your likes and dislikes.

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You can share sensitive information with that person.

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And when they feel they can trust you, then they will not do

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stuff behind your back than the likelihood of being disappointed

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is very, very small. So I'm reaching the end of the episode

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here. I hope I can. Yeah, give you a little bit of content to

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reflect on and to elaborate on and think about and feel about.

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For if you are out there and dating people. It's not about

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impressing the other anymore. It's about how that other person

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makes you feel and how you make that other person feel. I'm

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sending my love out to you. I have deep respect for you and so

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much gratitude that you listen to my podcast here and that you

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choose me and that you helped me to spread and share that

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podcast. I feel deeply honored to serve you. Thank you so much.

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Until next time,