In this episode of Finding Your Balance, Tiffani Fritzsche and Kirk Fasshauer continue the conversation about getting started with therapy by exploring what happens after the first sessions. From finding the right therapist and building trust to understanding why therapy can feel uncomfortable before it feels healing, this episode offers a realistic and encouraging look at the therapeutic process.

Together, they discuss how therapy helps build resilience, strengthen coping skills, and create lasting emotional growth through honesty, self-awareness, and practice. Whether you’re beginning therapy for the first time or returning during a new season of life, this episode reminds listeners that healing is a journey—not a quick fix—and that growth often happens one small step at a time.

00:00 Tiffani

Welcome to Finding Your Balance, a mental health podcast. My name is Tiffani Fritzsche. I'm a

00:04 Tiffani

licensed mental health counselor. I'm joined with my friend, Kirk Fasshauer, a licensed clinical

00:08 Tiffani

social worker. If this is your first time joining us, welcome. We are jumping back into our topic

00:13 Tiffani

of getting started in therapy. Our last episode, we talked about what does it look like to make

00:18 Tiffani

those first steps into therapy. And today we'll be going deeper into that conversation. So Kirk,

00:22 Tiffani

you've decided that you want to get started in therapy.

00:28 Tiffani

How do you go about finding the right fit for a therapist? Because every person is different and

00:33 Tiffani

every therapist is a little bit different. So, you know, people have said this before.

00:38 Kirk

It's true with doctors, other doctors as well, is shop around. Again,

00:45 Kirk

last session I talked about, you know, don't settle on that one unless it feels really good.

00:50 Kirk

If it feels really good, then stay with it. But if it's not feeling right. Move on to the next one.

00:56 Tiffani

Well, and you know when you've made a connection with someone. Absolutely. I think part of the

01:00 Tiffani

therapy process, what you've talked before in the last episode, is feeling vulnerable and

01:04 Tiffani

comfortable to really open up and share. And if you walk into a room and you feel intimidated or

01:10 Tiffani

you feel judged or you feel like it's not the right fit, it's probably very telling about how that

01:16 Tiffani

therapeutic process is going to go because if you're already feeling very hesitant to share. Right.

01:22 Tiffani

maybe you're not going to open up. And if you're not willing to open up in therapy, you might not

01:27 Tiffani

get the most out of it. Correct. Correct. Because again, it's a partnership. It's where you're

01:33 Kirk

doing a lot of exploration with somebody who can help kind of guide that process. You know,

01:39 Kirk

and that's really what therapy is about. It's not about advice giving, like we said in our last

01:43 Kirk

session. So, yeah, you want to explore, you want to shop around. If it fits,

01:49 Kirk

great. You want to also ask people about their style or get an idea of what their style for therapy

01:54 Kirk

is because you may be asked a lot of questions that bring you in and make you feel good about

02:02 Kirk

coming to therapy and what you hope to achieve.

02:07 Kirk

really sets that comfort level. That's really a lot of what that first session is about, is setting

02:13 Kirk

the tone for the rest of your time together. So finding that right fit, you've got to feel

02:19 Kirk

comfortable, you've got to feel some trust, and communication matters the most, especially in

02:24 Kirk

therapy. I mean, if it's set up right, you can come and talk to your therapist.

02:30 Kirk

about things you probably wouldn't even say to your best friend, you know, and that's kind of the

02:35 Kirk

point. You can come see somebody who doesn't have a biased opinion that's going to kind of give you

02:41 Kirk

a viewpoint that is outside of your circle,

02:46 Kirk

your bubble, you know. So ask them questions about their style, their approach,

02:53 Kirk

what their experience is like. Different folks have different experience levels.

02:59 Kirk

Like you mentioned, you've got interns. They may just be starting out. If that's the case, ask,

03:05 Kirk

well, what kind of supervision do you get? Do you have somebody who's behind that curtain that's

03:11 Kirk

kind of watching as well? Who do you talk to? I mean, those are good questions to ask a therapist

03:18 Kirk

that you're just starting out with. Well, and most therapists, you know, as they go through their

03:23 Tiffani

graduate program, they're going to be pretty equipped with most things. That said,

03:28 Tiffani

you know, everybody comes to the table with something different. And so if you're looking for

03:32 Tiffani

someone who specializes in trauma or if you're looking for someone who specializes in the aftermath

03:39 Tiffani

of a divorce or early childhood, there are therapists who have, you know, very specific

03:45 Tiffani

specialties. For example, myself. I have a license in mental health counseling,

03:50 Tiffani

but I also have some certifications in infant and early childhood. So, you know, the little ones,

03:55 Tiffani

not everybody has that. You have a lot of expertise in trauma. And depending on what's bringing the

04:03 Tiffani

person to the table to pursue therapy, you know, maybe they would be perfectly fine, you know, just

04:08 Tiffani

reaching out and seeing, you know, a therapist. Maybe they need a specific specialty. We also have

04:13 Tiffani

specialties in substance use. Maybe what's bringing you is struggling with substance. They're

04:17 Tiffani

struggling with alcohol. There's a different specialty for that as well. And so a lot of times

04:23 Tiffani

people come and they have these preferences in mind, and that's okay. You're allowed to have

04:27 Tiffani

preferences because you know you. A lot of the preferences that I see are a preference to a male

04:33 Tiffani

provider or a female provider or maybe a provider of a certain faith, and that's completely fine.

04:40 Tiffani

Absolutely. Absolutely. And we said it before. We're going to say it again. We'll continue to say

04:46 Kirk

this. Therapy is about the relationship. If you don't feel heard or feel comfortable,

04:53 Kirk

move on. It's okay. It doesn't mean anything that they're a bad therapist necessarily.

05:00 Kirk

You've got to feel it's okay to try something. new and feel comfortable and safe in that

05:06 Kirk

environment. If you don't, go on, try somebody else. You know, a good therapist always welcomes

05:12 Kirk

feedback as well. And some therapists may say, you know what, they may say this may not be a good

05:19 Kirk

fit. And they may recommend that it not happen. Sometimes that shocks people.

05:25 Tiffani

That's part of that. We've talked before about active listening. So as the therapist, you're

05:28 Tiffani

sitting there and you're already assessing, you know, body language and nonverbal cues. And you

05:34 Tiffani

might be able to tell right away, you know, your client is uncomfortable or they feel a little

05:38 Tiffani

anxious. And so you can address that. And I think it's a good call of a therapist to say, hey,

05:42 Tiffani

like, it's OK if I'm not for you. We want to make sure you get where you need to be. Now, say, you

05:47 Tiffani

know, you find the right fit and you get started in therapy and you've done that intake process and

05:52 Tiffani

you've done all. the paperwork, you know, all those things. A lot of times it's not uncommon the

05:57 Tiffani

first couple of sessions, honestly, to feel worse after therapy gets started.

06:02 Tiffani

And so then I've had many a times, you know, a parent will call me and they'll say, well, I don't

06:07 Tiffani

really know what's happening, but you know, we've had three sessions and things are worse in the

06:11 Tiffani

home than before we started services. I think this isn't for us, or I think that maybe we need to

06:16 Tiffani

switch providers, like something's up. And so it's a very common thing that things get worse before

06:23 Tiffani

they get better. Absolutely. Because you're coming into that session or maybe I do have a team of

06:28 Tiffani

therapists who go out to the home. And you're stirring up, you know, thinking about your trash can

06:33 Tiffani

analogy from earlier, you're stirring up the discomfort and those emotions are raw and,

06:39 Tiffani

you know, you feel exposed. And so you're in a safe therapist office where you feel safe and the

06:45 Tiffani

stressors aren't there. But then you take your bundle of raw emotions and then you go back home.

06:50 Tiffani

You see where the stressors are waiting for you. And then, of course, you know,

06:55 Tiffani

we see some. And decompensation sometimes just because you're learning new skills.

07:01 Kirk

Absolutely. And that's part of the struggle. That's part of the learning process.

07:06 Kirk

I think people forget that part of the learning process is making mistakes and for it to feel

07:12 Kirk

uncomfortable. Because I call it the struggle. Somebody needs to struggle with those new skills and

07:18 Kirk

struggle through the process in order to really make it their own. Yeah,

07:24 Kirk

we can have an outline of a theory, but for people to make it their own is to struggle with it a

07:32 Kirk

little bit, to make mistakes and like, oh, that doesn't fit right. What if I tweaked it this way or

07:37 Kirk

tweaked it that way? And you're right. You know, things sometimes are worse or not worse.

07:43 Kirk

Well, they can get a little bit worse at the beginning because you're starting to dig through that

07:48 Kirk

trash can and you hit a patch and oh my God, that smells so bad, right? And if you're going to kind

07:53 Tiffani

of equate it to like, you know, physical health, maybe you're in physical therapy or maybe you're

07:57 Tiffani

exercising, you know, new muscles, if you will.

08:00 Tiffani

And you almost get excited because you see that soreness as a sign of progress,

08:06 Tiffani

as a sign of movement. And I think sometimes we forget with mental health, it's so connected to

08:12 Tiffani

physical health. And there's so many similarities. There's differences. But that similarity of

08:16 Tiffani

like, this is uncomfortable. Okay, that must mean I'm making some progress. Right.

08:21 Tiffani

Right. Exactly. Exactly. Instead of thinking this is uncomfortable, I'm failing. Right. Exactly.

08:26 Kirk

So, you know. I guess the message we're trying to say there is hang with it, especially in the

08:32 Kirk

early sessions. Because in the early sessions, you're starting to explore the issues. You're

08:37 Kirk

building the trust to really start to explore those things. And, yes, there's going to be those

08:42 Kirk

aches and pains that you didn't know. Sometimes new things pop up and you're like, I didn't know

08:46 Kirk

that was there. Or I thought this issue was I dealt with this, but really there's more there.

08:54 Kirk

And that can happen. Once therapy gets rolling and you get past the earlier sessions,

09:01 Kirk

there's that middle phase. Excuse me. So that's where things,

09:07 Kirk

you really start to explore it and look at it from all angles. You know,

09:12 Kirk

you're looking for patterns and you start to practice those new skills. And you may stumble a

09:18 Kirk

little bit and you pick yourself back up. Sometimes therapy is being a cheerleader for someone

09:23 Kirk

who's trying out, you're doing a wonderful job, keep it up. You know, giving those positive

09:28 Kirk

affirmations, especially where there's a lot of negative messages that people hear.

09:34 Kirk

They stumbled and they, I can't do this right. I see it on social media and people seem to be doing

09:39 Kirk

better. Again, with social media, you're seeing the best of the best. You're not seeing the 27

09:46 Kirk

efforts it took to get to that best. Somebody in their best moment. Yes, exactly. Because they

09:51 Tiffani

deleted all the other. Absolutely. All the other pictures. Absolutely. Well, going right there in

09:56 Tiffani

that middle phase, a lot of the things that, you know, as a therapist, what I connect my families

10:00 Tiffani

and my clients to is that cognitive triangle. So, you know, the early part is, like you say,

10:06 Tiffani

making that connection, creating a safe space, that trust. The middle phase, you know, we're

10:10 Tiffani

linking you those skills. And so one of the tried and true. methods that we use in CBT,

10:17 Tiffani

cognitive behavioral therapy, and we'll talk more about different types of therapies later on, but

10:21 Tiffani

the cognitive triangle, and that is very simply your feelings influence your thoughts, your

10:27 Tiffani

thoughts influence your actions. And so if you're using these new techniques, what are you doing?

10:31 Tiffani

So when that feeling pops up, I'm feeling annoyed, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling

10:36 Tiffani

disappointed, I'm feeling rejected, I'm feeling sad. You connect it to, OK, what thought pops into

10:41 Tiffani

your head? And then you take that thought captive. And, you know, I'm feeling left out. They must

10:46 Tiffani

not like me. I'm feeling left out. You know, I must not be important to them. You take that thought

10:52 Tiffani

captive and you say, no, no. Maybe it's that or maybe it's this.

10:58 Tiffani

And so, you know, in the olden days, maybe you would feel left out and you feel like they don't

11:02 Tiffani

like you. And then now you're going to avoid them or now you're going to hang back or, you know,

11:06 Tiffani

and then maybe with the new technique, you realize, you know what? They have a lot going on in

11:12 Tiffani

their mind. I bet that's not even about me. Or, you know what, that was kind of odd. I'm going to

11:17 Tiffani

just check in and say, hey, is everything okay between us? But taking that thought captive and not

11:21 Tiffani

allowing that feeling to continue to influence negative thoughts. And I know we've talked before

11:26 Tiffani

about ants, automatic negative thoughts. And so eventually what you'll find. Instead of that first

11:32 Tiffani

thought that pops into your mind automatically being negative, you start to notice a change.

11:37 Tiffani

Correct. But those changes take some time. And I think that it's so important. Therapists give us a

11:43 Tiffani

framework or some kind of skill, some structure to where when those feelings and those thoughts pop

11:48 Tiffani

up, we have something that we can do in that moment to redirect our thinking and to teach your

11:54 Tiffani

brain new pathways and new skills. And it sounds like, well, that wouldn't really work.

12:00 Tiffani

It works. It works. Yeah, you'd be surprised. It works. It's subtle at first.

12:06 Kirk

And that's the beauty of therapy. It's the small steps. And those small steps add up.

12:14 Kirk

I use an analogy in some problem-solving teaching that I do, that people get so overwhelmed with

12:21 Kirk

their problems, they see it as the Mount Everest of all their problems. And they can't ever get to

12:26 Kirk

the top of that mountain to get control over it. And I like to tell people, well, people do get to

12:32 Kirk

the top of Mount Everest, but it doesn't take a day. It takes... A lot of time. And it's small

12:37 Kirk

steps. You climb a little bit. You stop. You acclimate. You adjust. And then you climb a little bit

12:43 Kirk

more. And you acclimate. And you adjust it. You climb a little bit more. Right? And you do all

12:48 Kirk

these little steps to get to this big, huge mountain. And sometimes you need a guide. That's where

12:53 Kirk

I throw in. You can get a therapist to guide. You get it. And so it takes effort.

13:01 Kirk

And sometimes you can't do it alone. Some people can, but not everybody. So, you know, get that

13:06 Kirk

help, get the guidance. So, yeah, in the middle phase, really,

13:11 Kirk

sometimes you can find yourself kind of lost. Maybe even the therapist gets lost in that process a

13:18 Kirk

little bit. It's good that if your earlier sessions are involved in focusing in on what are the

13:26 Kirk

goals, what are the objectives we're trying to achieve in our meeting together, because this is a

13:31 Kirk

professional, you know. get together how do we what is it that we want to work on and so if you

13:38 Kirk

find yourself in that maintenance phase of working on stuff and practicing those new skills and

13:45 Kirk

you're kind of like I'm not really sure where we're going with things, you kind of plateau a little

13:50 Kirk

bit in the middle sessions. It's always good to reflect back on that treatment plan that whether

13:56 Kirk

you're in private therapy or you're doing stuff in community mental health, there's always a

14:01 Kirk

treatment plan of some type. Those treatment plans are important to guide you where we're going in

14:08 Kirk

these sessions. And then as you start to see, okay, it's also good.

14:13 Kirk

That treatment plan is good to go, oh, I did that. I've done that. Look how much growth you've had.

14:18 Kirk

And it may not seem apparent right away, but when you start to go do a review,

14:24 Kirk

there it is. It is pretty concrete. And it's like, wow, we did achieve a lot.

14:30 Kirk

And that's where the later sessions start to wind down. You start to consolidate some of the growth

14:36 Kirk

that you've achieved. You look at those wins and things like this.

14:42 Kirk

And that's the opportunity for therapists to work with individuals on transitioning and being on

14:51 Kirk

their own and preparing for independence. Lots of times in that. termination phase of sessions,

14:59 Kirk

people are like, well, I'm done. Bye. And it's funny.

15:04 Kirk

A lot of what happens in people's lives is We don't know why it ends.

15:10 Kirk

There isn't that smooth transition. It's a healthy way to transition in life and to move on.

15:16 Kirk

You gradually move down. You titrate down the sessions so that it's gradual over time.

15:23 Kirk

And I know in the early days of therapy, when I was doing more one-on-one kind of work,

15:28 Kirk

it was... You prepare that person. You know, we only have three more sessions left. So they can

15:33 Kirk

start to prepare for the wind down as well. It doesn't come as a surprise. And it shouldn't really

15:38 Kirk

be a surprise. It should really feel comfortable. It's like, oh, yeah, it's kind of time.

15:44 Kirk

Yeah, it's time. But remember, therapy is not a sprint.

15:49 Kirk

It's a marathon. It's something that's going to take a time, little steps at a time,

15:55 Kirk

and you're slowly going to get to your goals and your goals. that you've set out in those first few

16:01 Kirk

sessions. And, you know, it can be tough at times, and it's part of the normal process.

16:08 Kirk

It's part of growth. I think when I look back at that final stage, a lot of times what I'm looking

16:13 Tiffani

at is the level of resilience that has grown in that client, right? And then I see the resilience

16:20 Tiffani

typically. strengthens a lot. The other thing that I hope that I see that we aim towards is

16:27 Tiffani

strengthening the act of not reacting so much to things that happen.

16:35 Tiffani

You know, something can go wrong in your day. And I've been there before where something happens.

16:40 Tiffani

If I let it, this could ruin my whole day. If I let this situation kind of take power.

16:48 Tiffani

Man, like the day is gone. And then in that moment, you decide, no, I'm resilient. I have got

16:54 Tiffani

coping skills. Maybe I spilled coffee all over my shirt. Maybe, you know, I blew it in that

17:00 Tiffani

meeting. Maybe, you know, whatever happened, it happened and it's done and I can't change it.

17:05 Tiffani

And what's next? And so using those coping skills and instead of reacting, responding to the

17:11 Tiffani

situation with those gained skills that maybe I didn't have before. That's my goal a lot of times

17:16 Tiffani

for my clients where you can have something go wrong because just because you've gone through

17:21 Tiffani

therapy, you are not guaranteed for the rest of your life for everything to be fine. Things are

17:26 Tiffani

going to happen. But how are you different in this season? You have new skills.

17:31 Tiffani

And so when they do happen, are you able to find that new balance? Are you able to regulate your

17:37 Tiffani

emotions or does something happen and it throws you a curveball? And maybe you find yourself in

17:43 Tiffani

need of therapy again. That's fine. Right. Exactly. And so I think that, you know, therapy isn't

17:48 Tiffani

always a one and done. Sometimes things happen and you need that extra guide like what you were

17:53 Tiffani

talking about before with Mount Everest. But the main things that I look for, you know, is it time

17:58 Tiffani

to conclude services are. Your level of resilience and also your ability to respond to situations

18:05 Tiffani

instead of reacting. And that's not just for the child whenever I work with families. It's also for

18:09 Tiffani

the parents. It's also for the caregivers because a lot of times what I have found is when you're

18:14 Tiffani

working in a family system, that entire family speaks into the peace in that home.

18:20 Tiffani

And so if you've got one person that's really practicing those skills, you tend to have one person

18:25 Tiffani

acclimate to the system. And so that's why I love family work because when we get the whole family

18:29 Tiffani

in there, the whole family. are learning those skills. And then they can encourage and champion

18:33 Tiffani

each other. And I usually see the stability and the resilience as longer lasting when you have the

18:40 Tiffani

whole family on board. Absolutely. Because people adjust the roles that they've learned.

18:45 Kirk

Because if you don't, yeah, the roles stay the same. And if you don't fit that role,

18:51 Kirk

they're going to make it happen to where you do all of a sudden fit back into that role.

18:57 Kirk

And you mentioned a good... Good point. Yeah, when you wind down with therapy and you find out

19:04 Kirk

later on you may need to go back, that doesn't mean you failed. Yeah. It just means you understand

19:08 Kirk

this is a tool. Therapy is a tool for growth. It really is. And so every once in a while you need

19:15 Kirk

to go back and grow some more, you know, or tweak what you've learned or you've come across

19:21 Kirk

something new and you can't quite figure it out. You go back and kind of explore,

19:27 Kirk

especially if it was good sessions. And that's the thing with therapy.

19:33 Kirk

There are going to be good days and bad days going through this. It's all part of the growth

19:41 Kirk

process. There are going to be some sessions that feel really great. This was all. This was the

19:45 Kirk

best. I'm glad I did this. And there will be other days like, oh, my God, why am I going to this?

19:50 Kirk

I'm just torturing myself. And it's going to be really tough. Yeah, therapy is not always going to

19:56 Kirk

be easy. It's going to be some areas you're going to struggle more with.

20:02 Kirk

Those are the tough things that maybe you need to unpack a little bit and take a look at and get

20:08 Kirk

through that. Some feelings people might have along the way in therapy is that relief and hope,

20:14 Kirk

which is great. They may not always be continuous because there's also feelings of vulnerability

20:20 Kirk

and discomfort. There may be even frustration and doubt, especially in the beginning.

20:26 Kirk

Like you mentioned earlier, Tiffani, that it's like, why am I doing this? Oh, my God, this doesn't

20:30 Kirk

seem to be working out. It gets tougher first before it starts to get better. But you hang with it

20:37 Kirk

and you start to work through that. You start to feel a lot more confident in what you're doing and

20:45 Kirk

you feel empowered. It's like, yeah, I do have some say in these choices. I may not have control

20:51 Kirk

over everything, but I do have a lot of things that I do control. I'm taking control of those

20:58 Kirk

situations. I'm empowering myself.

21:03 Kirk

Completely normal to have mixed emotions through the entire thing. Going to therapy isn't about

21:07 Kirk

they're going to make me feel happy. It's no, it's work. I'm going to struggle. There may be days

21:13 Kirk

I am going to be happy. There may be days I'm going to feel really sad and struggle with that

21:19 Kirk

because growth is messy. It's not easy at all. And they're there to help you through this process

21:26 Kirk

in a place that's safe. And I don't even know if happy is always. Maybe the goal,

21:32 Tiffani

maybe it was initially, I think the goal is contentment, healing,

21:38 Tiffani

peace. There's been several situations in my life where the end result was kind of closure and

21:47 Tiffani

peace and not even necessarily happy, but I knew time gives perspective.

21:55 Tiffani

You realize your role in different situations and you realize what you could have done differently

22:00 Tiffani

and you have the skills to do things differently in the future. And you kind of let go of the

22:05 Tiffani

things that you don't have control over. And it just kind of gives you a sense of peace. And then

22:10 Tiffani

that thing that was weighing on you and that thing that was controlling really how you see the

22:16 Tiffani

world and how you do your life, it doesn't have power over you anymore. Right. Because you've.

22:21 Tiffani

You've overcome that situation. I think that may be even the goal a lot of times is overcoming the

22:26 Tiffani

things that are holding you back, causing dysfunction. Right. And you're right. It's not

22:30 Tiffani

necessarily happiness that people seek in that. Sometimes it is happy.

22:35 Kirk

Sometimes it is. But I think more importantly is understanding. Having some understanding of

22:42 Kirk

whatever it may be. And having some understanding about it gives you a sense of power.

22:49 Kirk

And then you can feel however you want. You can feel happy about it. You can feel content about it.

22:53 Kirk

You can feel sad about it still. It just doesn't control you anymore. It doesn't control you.

22:56 Kirk

Exactly. I understand this now. It's like, okay. And then be able to regulate how you feel.

23:02 Kirk

Don't let the emotions run the show. That's where we get a lot of reactivity is when we're

23:07 Kirk

emotional versus being responsive, which is much more in the irrational, the rational side of the

23:13 Tiffani

brain. That's really what it is. Getting your power back. I say that to little ones all the time.

23:18 Tiffani

Like, okay, let's talk about how, you know, so-and-so made you angry and you did this and you

23:22 Tiffani

gave him all your power and that reaction. Exactly. And so it's learning how to not be reactive and

23:28 Tiffani

to gain back your power in situations that sometimes are unsteady. That's a good perspective. Yeah,

23:33 Kirk

it really is. So how do you get the most out of therapy? I mean, really what you want to do is be

23:39 Kirk

honest, even when it's hard. I mean, that's the safest place you can go to really be honest.

23:48 Kirk

And really, we shouldn't be honest with our doctors when we're going for physical health, too. We

23:52 Kirk

should. But we're not. We tend to minimize stuff so that we don't look as, well, it's not as bad as

23:58 Kirk

all that.

24:00 Kirk

We need to be honest, all right, and be honest and open. There's homework with therapy.

24:08 Kirk

You're going to learn and practice skills in the session, and then in between those sessions,

24:14 Kirk

you've got to do some stuff. It isn't just going to magically happen. So practice those skills that

24:20 Kirk

you've learned. And then give feedback on what's working and what's not working. It's like,

24:25 Kirk

you know what, I tried that, and I don't think it's really working. It's like, okay, let's take a

24:29 Kirk

look at it. Maybe we need to fine-tune it and stuff like that. Again, it's a partnership. Well,

24:33 Tiffani

and that's why it's helpful to remember your therapist doesn't always know you intricately like you

24:38 Tiffani

know yourself. And so if a therapist recommends, for example, journaling, maybe journaling is your

24:43 Tiffani

thing. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's not. I get stressed out when I journal. It's like, okay,

24:48 Kirk

we don't want to stress you out, but maybe you do need to push it a little bit and do stress

24:53 Kirk

yourself out. But again, right, they may give you something that's not your thing.

24:58 Tiffani

And that's where it's your job to advocate and say, yeah, I tried that and it didn't work, or I

25:03 Tiffani

don't think it's going to work, but I'll try it. But like you said earlier with therapy, sometimes

25:08 Tiffani

the level of frequency, if you're going to a therapist once a month, And you're not going home and

25:14 Tiffani

practicing those skills. You can't expect the results. Right. And so you really want to make sure

25:19 Tiffani

if this is a priority for you and you want to see the most out of your therapy, then do the work

25:25 Tiffani

outside of it. Because that I think that the repetition and the practice is where you're really

25:30 Kirk

going to see those results. Absolutely. And be patient. You know, be patient with the process. It's

25:35 Kirk

a process. And again, it is a marathon, not the sprint. Because some people think,

25:41 Kirk

well, I should be better by now. Who's keeping... here.

25:48 Kirk

What do we need to look at if we need to go faster with something? Or what is it we're missing that

25:54 Kirk

you feel you need to rush through something? It takes time. It takes time. So be kind with

26:01 Kirk

yourself. So that's how you get the most out of therapy, really. Again, it's the partnership. It's

26:07 Kirk

you working in an open and active way in the whole process, not just sitting back and saying,

26:13 Kirk

well, you got the degree, you tell me. That's not how it works, you know. It's a team effort.

26:19 Kirk

So bring your lived experience, because sometimes we're doing therapy with people who have more

26:25 Kirk

life experience than we do. It's like, let's learn together. Tell me more about this and what you

26:30 Kirk

struggled with.

26:32 Kirk

We bring the tools to help you build that.

26:39 Kirk

You know, that's how to get the most out of therapy and really, you know, understanding that if you

26:44 Kirk

start to see yourself creating more self-awareness, you're better at handling stress.

26:51 Kirk

You start to have improved relationships and outlining those expectations of what you want in those

26:58 Kirk

relationships, you know, and feeling more confident and hopeful. Those are signs that therapy is

27:03 Kirk

actually working.

27:06 Kirk

If things are uncomfortable, you're feeling kind of stuck, it's not moving forward,

27:12 Kirk

provide that feedback to the therapist. That's when you really need to talk to them about that.

27:17 Kirk

So, again, we encourage you to, you know. If you feel like you need to involve a therapist,

27:23 Kirk

get them involved. There are options out there. Explore those options. So I think that wraps up our

27:31 Kirk

talk on what to expect in therapy. I'm sure we could talk more and more about this,

27:36 Kirk

and we probably will as time goes on. But thank you for joining us for this session of Finding Your

27:42 Kirk

Balance.