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How to Have Crucial Conversations with Dr Ed Pooley
Episode 8529th June 2021 • You Are Not A Frog • Dr Rachel Morris
00:00:00 00:44:54

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Dr Edward Pooley joins us again to teach us how to communicate well. He discusses the three strands of communication and explains how to be aware of them. We also share frameworks to help you navigate difficult conversations.


[05:58] Three Strands of Communication

  • It’s not only what you say, but also the emotion and identity. 
  • Try not to start talks when you’re irritated or frustrated. 
  • Think of how your conversation will make the other person feel about themselves.

[09:49] About Ranting

  • A rant is a one-way method of communication. 
  • Your message may be correct, but the other person won’t receive it well.
  • Instead of laying blame, ask them about their observations of the situation. 

[12:49] Giving Better Feedback 

  • When systems no longer work, it’s crucial to implement change.
  • Instead of pointing out what’s wrong, suggest solutions for improvement.

[16:17] Risks of Depersonalisation

  • Depersonalising can get the message across, but leave emotion behind.
  • You may not offend other people, but you may also not convince them.
  • Pair depersonalisation with emotion to deliver authentic communication to your team. 

[21:00] Expressing Your Emotions

  • Use “I” statements to express how you feel.
  • Your thoughts aren't emotions. Tap into your feelings and express them.

[21:56] The CORBS Model

  • Make your feedback clear, owned, regular, balanced, and specific.

[24:35] Difficult Conversations

  • The term ‘feedback’ tends to put people on high alert. Reframe it to a ‘conversation.’
  • We tend to adjust to soften the blow to avoid upsetting other people. 
  • Practise ‘and’ statements to avoid wobbling during difficult conversations.

[28:10] Learning Conversations

  • You may have a skewed perspective. Seek to understand the bigger picture.

[32:54] Communication in Healthcare

  • We often assume we are good communicators unless told otherwise.
  • If you assume you’re a good communicator, you won’t seek improvement.

[34:07] Having Difficult Conversations

  • You can become a good communicator and handle difficult conversations with ease.
  • Frameworks help you navigate these conversations.

[41:25] Tips on Dealing with Conflict and Being a Good Communicator

  • Find a way to communicate issues to prevent them from becoming bigger. 
  • Be aware of the bigger picture.

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