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028: A Tribe Called Bliss with Lori Harder
26th November 2018 • Do Well & Do Good • Dorothy Illson
00:00:00 00:45:23

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Hailing from small-town Michigan, Lori Harder grew up believing that her weight and anxiety would always define her. But after leaving home at the age of 18, Lori realized she could determine her own destiny and reshaped herself both physically and emotionally, becoming a three-time fitness world champion and transformational coach. With her husband Chris (check out Episode 24) she runs multiple seven-figure businesses, hosts the Find Your Happy podcast and founded The Bliss Project.

In this episode, Lori reveals how she gradually rewrote the story of her life, explains the importance of having a “tribe,” and lays out how her personal struggles influenced her philosophy toward doing good.


Show Notes:

  • What is the “Great Chicken Nugget Battle of 2006” and how did it shape Lori?
    • In her mid-20s, Lori was trapped in “victim mode,” wanting to work in fitness and help other women but stuck at a personal standstill, eating and drinking simply to numb her anxieties.
    • One night out, she started taking her personal frustrations out on husband Chris by throwing (dipped) chicken nuggets at him.
    • Woke up the next morning realizing she had reached a personal low and that she couldn’t push her husband away along with everything else. It spurred her to make genuine changes in her life.
  • How did Lori go about rewriting the stories she had told herself?
    • Took her three years to make smaller, though important, lifestyle changes, settling into healthier routines and behaviors.
    • Started looking up local fitness competitions and who could help her with them, then set personal deadlines.
    • Asked herself what she needed to do to actually accomplish her goals and then built plans around those answers.
    • Small steps built to larger changes.
  • How does Lori define “tribe” and why is it so important?
    • Your tribe is the people you interact with the most—friends, family, coworkers—and who influence how you live your life.
    • Your tribe can reinforce positive and negative behaviors.
    • Need to surround yourself with a tribe whose members help foster your best traits and support you on your ideal path.
  • Have people in Lori’s family followed her on this path?
    • Used to have a very strained relationship with her family due differences in religious beliefs.
    • She needed to really work with her family to improve their relationship in spite of these differences, finding new ways to connect.
    • She did have to get away from them and move out of their environment for a while to find people who did support her healthier habits.
    • It was a struggle because leaving her tribe was scary, uncertain territory.
    • Now she’s strong enough to be with them while still maintaining her independence and help them in turn.
  • How can people stuck in a negatively reinforcing tribe set healthy boundaries?
    • Make your perspective clear to them while also understanding their point of view.
    • Make peace your outcome, even if it means putting the conversation on hold.
    • Find a good time and place, especially if the discussion could turn into an argument.
  • How has Lori’s success allowed her to give back?
    • When you’ve been a victim and/or had the victim mindset, you understand how low a person can feel and how they can get stuck in a pattern of anxiety and inaction.
    • Success has afforded her opportunities to be the encouraging figure in other people’s lives.
    • She can also pay for meals and services that actually help people. Thriving financial enables generosity.
  • Who has been the most impactful person in Lori’s journey to do well and achieve financial success?
    • Her husband Chris.
  • Who has been the most impactful person in Lori’s drive to do good?
    • Oprah Winfrey.
  • What are some constructive daily habits that Lori practises?
    • Waking up, choosing to live in a happy, healthy way, then doing the necessary tasks to make that happiness a reality.
  • What books does Lori recommend to those seeking a more successful path in life?








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