For decades, women have been told to stay polished, professional, and detached in order to be taken seriously. But the truth is, that old keep it impersonal rule never really served us. The new rules for women in business are about authentic leadership, connection, and humanity.

In this episode, I share lessons from building multiple brick-and-mortar businesses and how I discovered that workplace culture is one of the biggest game-changers in business. I’ll show you why building a positive workplace culture starts with leading as your real self, not a polished version of you. Because when you lean into your quirks, humor, and lived experiences, you not only strengthen your team but also prove exactly why culture is important in business.

Inside this episode:

• Why the keep it impersonal rule is outdated and ineffective
• How my approach to authentic leadership transformed my wine bar and coffee shop teams into true communities
• The surprising ways employees want to feel valued beyond money
• Why personal stories like burnout, motherhood, or failure are assets when building a positive workplace culture
• How to apply the new rules for women in business as a midlife woman entrepreneur leading with authenticity
• Why embracing imperfection proves that workplace culture and humanity go hand in hand

If you’re a midlife woman entrepreneur ready to stop sanding down your edges and start leaning into authentic leadership, this episode will give you the encouragement and strategies you need. Forget perfection – focus on building a positive workplace culture that lasts, because it’s the clearest example of why culture is important in business.

👉 If this episode hit home, you’ll love The Grove – my monthly membership where midlife woman entrepreneurs gather to rewrite the old rules of business together. From money to mindset to workplace culture, we normalize the conversations most people keep impersonal. 

Or, if you’re looking for a weekly dose of strategy and real talk, hop on my newsletter for no-fluff insights to help you build the business you actually want.

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

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CONNECT WITH KATY RIPP: 

Website: www.katyripp.com

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If you're new here, this is a series where we take the old patriarchal rules of business, the ones that were never really designed for us in the first place, and we rip them up. Then we're gonna write new rules that actually fit the kind of lives and businesses women are building right now. So far in this series, we've tackled the grind or die rule, the play small rule, and the don't talk about money rule.

And today's rule is no different. It's to keep the impersonal rule. And actually, this is my favorite one to rewrite. So I know you've heard this one before. Keep it professional. Don't get too close. Don't let emotions cloud your judgment. Don't share too much. Basically, the message is, leave your humanity at the door, and that's the only way to do business.

And for a long time, I thought that's what professionalism meant. I thought that being a good business owner meant putting on a mask, staying polished, and never letting people see any of the cracks. But when I really started building my own businesses, I realized something that the opposite was true for me.

So again, if you're new here. I have opened three brick and mortar businesses over the last five years, and when we opened the wine bar, I had a gut feeling that I didn't wanna run it like a traditional boss. This was my first experience with staff. I didn't wanna be the kind of leader or the kind of boss who kept everyone at arm's length.

I wanted to actually know my staff and create a culture where if somebody called you to help move on a Saturday, they would be there. Coworkers are really what build. Small businesses. So I started really small, which is odd for me, but I asked, I started by asking them just simple questions: what made them feel appreciated?

Yes, it's the most simple way to show somebody that they're appreciated, but it doesn't necessarily translate for everybody. Some people light up when you give them flexibility, or maybe you give them an extra PTO day, or maybe you give them something tangible. Some thrive when they're recognized publicly.

And these were part-time jobs. These were women who were coming in, maybe to get out of bedtime, putting their kids to bed, maybe to just have a little bit of social interaction with some adults. For those of them who were at home during the day, I also had them take a StrengthsFinder. I also had them take the StrengthsFinder test so I could put them in the right roles.

And if something didn't seem to be working, I didn't just write them off and say, Well, you're not a good fit. This is the job description. I moved them around until we found a better fit or something that really rewarded them, or something that they really love to do. And shocker, there is a job for everyone that someone likes, every job that you have out there, for instance, maybe.

And we celebrated everything. Baby showers, wedding showers, you name it. I gave them shout-outs on social media, not because it was good pr, but because I wanted them to feel proud of the way they work and what they were doing. And when we bought the coffee shop a couple of years later, I carried that same philosophy over.

I wanted it to feel more like I wanted it to feel. More than a job, I wanted to feel like a community. And in this particular situation, I was hiring high schoolers, and everybody remembers their first job. So I really took this to heart. One day, two of my high school baristas spilled. This is one of my favorite stories.

It stains everything, and it's hard to get out of anything. They were totally mortified. I could have told them to just deal with it. I could have probably reprimanded them for losing an entire picture of a day-brewed cold brew or a two-day steeped cold brew. But instead, I bought them new Nikes, not because I had to, of course I didn't have to, but because I wanted them to know that they mattered, that one small act said more about a bonus or.

Because remember, we don't work sick. Period, especially around food. And when they see me honoring that, it gives them permission to do the same. I tell them when I'm having a rough day or a rough week, I don't sugarcoat it because pretending to be perfect just builds walls, and being real builds connection.

At weddings, at funerals, at baby showers, wedding showers, and birthday parties, and kids' graduations, and my own staff's graduations. I have been invited to places that most bosses don't get invited to, and I feel really proud of that, and their time and energy are inside my dream. Then it's my responsibility to make sure that they feel valued while they're there.

Do I always get it right? Absolutely not. Do I sometimes let my ego take the wheel and make decisions because I'm the boss? Yes, absolutely, I do. But overall, I'm proud of how I've taken this old rule, kept it impersonal, and done it a different way. And I can tell you my businesses are better for it. My relationships are richer for it, and I'm better for it too.

Hiding the personal stories. So in my case, sobriety, motherhood, burnout, or health struggles, those are my stories that I've been willing to share because I think it creates connection. Now every, not everybody is that vulnerable and I get that, but you can do it on very, very, you can do it on so many different levels.

Just a little bit of a peek into somebody else's life makes your story. Just a little peek into your life makes you just a little peek. Makes it so much more personal.

So from the outside, it looks polished, but underneath it's totally exhausting living that life. It creates distance, and it makes your business feel like a performance instead of a relationship. And businesses are built on people. It doesn't matter what you're selling. People make businesses, people buy things and services.

And you know what? Perfection doesn't inspire trust. In fact, it often does the opposite. When somebody looks too perfect or too polished or too put together, we assume they can't possibly understand our struggles. Think of any Instagram influencer that you follow who is set up perfectly every single time.

Do you really trust that they're that perfect all the time?

But when somebody shares the messy middle, we totally lean in. We feel seen, we feel safe, and we trust them. So the keep it impersonal rule isn't just unnecessary. It's actually quite counterproductive. Humanity is what makes your business magnetic. It what? It's what makes people stay. So here's the new rule.

There are a few ways you can do this. Maybe you send an email newsletter. There could be a snippet of behind the scenes, and you could do some sort of little kitschy.

You could do some sort of little kitschy phrase.

Or writing and speaking in your real voice, not some corporate version of it, or now we use AI for a lot, and I'm a total AI junkie. I love it, but I have trained my chat, GPT. Her name is Eden, by the way. I have trained her basically to talk only in my voice and repeat to me, basically, what I'm saying, just cleaned up.

I do have a lot of resources, though. I do make connections, and I do allow people to actually tell me when I'm doing something wrong and maybe fix it. Does my ego get in the way? Sometimes, yes, it does, but I usually come around and like, Hmm, that is actually a good idea. Let's try it and see if we can figure out a way to make this work for everybody.

Number four, bringing your quirks, your humor, and your personality into your work. I swear. I'm a swear. I like to say, fuck, it's my favorite word. I say it all the time. I say it in front of my kids, my parents. If I still had grandparents, I would probably say it in front of them. Listen, that's just who I am.

And number five, letting people see the human behind the business. This happens to me quite a bit, and again, when we're talking about people seeing it, maybe it's an email newsletter, but maybe it's your stories in your Instagram, you keep your grid real pretty, but in the stories in your Instagram could be something like me where I dropped an entire, a few years ago, I tr I dropped an entire box of nerds, not the little box, like a commercial box of nerds all over the ice cream shop floor. [00:15:00] Everywhere. It looked like nerds threw up. It was all over the place. I posted that, and people were like, Oh my God, I have done that before. Or I've, you know, who hasn't dropped an entire bag of flour or something in their business.

It makes us relatable. It makes us really,

It makes us relatable. Because again, people don't stay loyal because you're perfect. They stay loyal because you're real and you're you, and they connect to you. So my challenge for you this week is pretty simple. Let your humanity show. That could mean posting something personal on social media instead of just polished content.

So, like, there are options like white Dove design. Last week in her newsletter, she just put something in there about making floor, making holiday floor mats with her grandma. It was the cutest story, and it was something like just to get a little sneak peek into her life. It could also mean telling your staff when you're having a really tough week.

Sometimes we just get burned out. We get stressed out. Maybe there's something in the, maybe your tax bill just went up, and they have no idea why we're pulling. Why we're nervous about the sales or we're nervous about money, that might be too personal for you, but I will tell you, I have told my staff, like, listen, hey, we TV time out on a couple of things because we.

So now I have to find all these ways to save money. That's not exactly what we're talking about here, but it could be assumed that way.

Whatever it looks like for you. Pick one small way to make it personal this week. Then notice what happens. Chances are, people will lean in closer, not pull away.

It's linked in the show notes. And if you know someone who's sanding down their edges to look more quote-unquote professional, share this episode with them. They might need the reminder that real beats. Perfect every single time. And don't forget, you can join my email list to get each new rule delivered straight to your inbox, along with behind-the-scenes updates as I turn this series into a book.

Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next week when we tackle the old rule, the competition rule, and Why Building a better sisterhood beats rivalry every single time.