Listen in to Host Mari Wagner and guest Leah Darrow, discussing the integration of faith into everyday life, especially for women aiming to live Christ-centered lives amidst modern-day challenges. Leah Darrow, a former America's Next Top Model contestant, shares her journey from pursuing a secular modeling career to rediscovering her faith and purpose. She speaks candidly about the struggles and revelations that led her back to a life with Christ, emphasizing the message 'I made you for more' that she believes came from God. The conversation also delves into overcoming limiting beliefs, the importance of aligning actions with God's will, and achieving a balance between motherhood and personal dreams. Leah advocates for a life that is open to God's direction, suggesting that true fulfillment comes from surrendering to and actively pursuing God's plans.

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Hey friends, it's important that I share some context

2

before we jump into this episode.

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Leah and I recorded this amazing episode

together about a month ago, and if you

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follow her on Instagram, you may have seen

the updates that her husband and friends

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have been sharing on her page since then.

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Leah underwent an emergency C section

about halfway through her pregnancy,

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and her baby and her are in critical

condition in the hospital right now.

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They are in dire need of

our prayers and support.

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To read the full update on her health,

please visit her Instagram at Leah.

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Darrow, please join me in praying

for Lyra and her baby's health

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and that the Lord would heal them

and restore them to full health.

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And if you feel called to help

them financially, the family

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is needing donations right now.

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You can help by Venmoing Leah's

husband, Ricky, at Ricky Paul.

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That's Ricky with a Y, Ricky Paul.

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Thank you, and I hope

you enjoy this episode.

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Leah is such a powerhouse woman,

full of wisdom and encouragement.

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Speaker 9: Hey, I'm your host, Mari

Wagner, and you're listening to the ever

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be podcast where faith meets lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here, whether you're

a new listener or a longtime follower,

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I know there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real life conversations

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and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to Ever Be.

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Mari Wagner: Welcome back

everybody and happy Wednesday.

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I have an incredible

guest joining me today.

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Someone who I've learned so

much from over the years.

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I'm sure you've heard of her as well.

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She is a speaker and author

and entrepreneur host of the

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power made perfect program.

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I know she's a proud wife and if you

don't already know who this is, we

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have Leah Darrow on the show today.

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So Leah, welcome to ever be.

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Yeah, thanks for having me.

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I'm excited for us to

chat and get into it.

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Let's do it.

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Yeah, this is gonna be

a great conversation.

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, I just think your story is so

inspiring and speak so much to the

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mercy of Jesus and the beauty of

a life lived with Christ, which is

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something I just love to talk about.

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A lot of what I talk about is Christ

centered living and how a life lived

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with Christ is so much more full, so much

more joyful, so much more dream filled

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and exciting than a life lived without.

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Um, so we're going to get

into that a little bit today.

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Talk about how to reach that kind of like.

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Full god given potential.

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, but before we dive into all those good

questions for the audience that might

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not have heard of you before, can you

just share maybe a little bit of your

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background, who you are, so those

new listeners can learn about you.

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Yep.

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Absolutely.

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So, um, many moons ago I was on

America's Next Top Model and I did

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that whole reality TV thing and I

was on season or cycle three, that's

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what they call it, uh, of that show.

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And at this point in my life,

I was a good almost 10 years

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into living away from my faith.

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I was born and raised Catholic, um,

grew up in the church, grew up with

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all the things that you're told.

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But about, you know, high school ish

time, uh, I just made some mistakes

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that I thought were unredeemable

and I thought, well, that's it.

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That's it's it for me, man.

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I missed the boat.

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Like there's nothing good for me left.

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Uh, no, no good.

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Like there's not going to be some great

dream guy waiting for me saying, yeah,

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I want you because of what I had done.

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And I just thought,

well, that's it, I guess.

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I guess, you know, because I was raised

in the church, because I was raised

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with knowing right from wrong, even if

I didn't understand anything behind it,

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I was, I was raised in the faith and

I was raised with really good parents.

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Like I'm really blessed.

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I have a great upbringing.

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Um, you know, two parents, In the same

home who loved each other, stuck it out.

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You know, I mean, took us to

church every single Sunday.

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We had like the reserved pew in church.

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We were that family, you

know, like that was just it.

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So when I made all these mistakes,

it was, it just felt like, Oh yeah.

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You see, mercy is for the

people who just didn't know.

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And mercies for the people who, um,

are just not like you, like you were

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given everything and you screwed up.

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So that was the voice of the

enemy and I listened to that.

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So that kind of led me on a path

that just is that just, I just

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thought like, okay, I guess this

just isn't the place for me anymore.

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Like, Church isn't home for me.

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So you, we all want to belong.

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We desperately want to belong.

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You look at social media,

look at the comment sections

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on anybody's post anywhere.

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Like so many people who are creating

division because they're wanting to belong

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to a certain group or a thought group

or, uh, uh, any type of social group,

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whatever it is, but we want belonging.

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And so when Uh, you feel

like you don't belong.

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You're going to find people.

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You're going to find a group.

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You're going to find a way of life.

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You're going to find something

that helps you belong.

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And so that's kind of what I did.

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And that just put me on a path,

which led many years later to

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me thinking, Hey, let's audition

for America's next top model.

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This seems like a great idea.

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Like what a great way to live my life.

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Yeah.

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To be objectified in front

of millions of people.

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Maybe even billions of people,

you know, around the world.

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Like this is great.

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So I did.

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I was on cycle three and it

was everything that you would

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probably expect reality TV to be.

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It's dramatic.

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It's ridiculous.

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It's most of the things that they

present to you on TV are complete.

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Um, It's like there's like a little

element of truth of what they show, but

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the way that they show it, it's just,

it's not the way it actually went down.

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And uh, you know, that's

probably another episode, but

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it was just a really wild time.

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So I was on the show, I was eliminated

from America's Next Top Model.

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I decide, okay, well

what am I going to do?

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Like I didn't win.

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Um, and knowing me and my personality,

it's just like, then try again.

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Just keep going.

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Like, it's going to work

for you at some point.

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Like, don't give up.

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I've always had that mentality.

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Don't give up no matter who

tells you, no, don't give up.

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Um, it doesn't matter

what other people say.

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And for better or for worse, I have

this, this part of my personality.

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So I was like, I'm going to keep going.

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I know I relate all the way.

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Yeah.

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You either go forward or you go home.

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Right.

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And I mean, I wasn't going to go home,

so we're going to keep going big.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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No.

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So I stayed in New York and I found

myself a place to live and I decided

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I am going to keep doing this.

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If I went on this stupid TV show and said

I was going to be some fashion model,

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I'm going to be some fashion model.

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And I, and I did that.

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So I, I did that.

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I got jobs.

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I was, I was working, I did New York

fashion week and I was doing all

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the things that I was climbing the

ladder, so to speak in that space.

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And, um, uh, you know, getting a

paycheck, my paycheck had a comma in it.

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My picture was on the billboards in

times square is on the side of taxi cabs.

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So I'm walking around New York

city at this point, you know?

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Um, and.

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And this is in the early 2000s.

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I know this is like a long, like just,

just so long ago at this point, it's

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crazy to think about, but you're walking

around and, you know, social media

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hadn't hit yet, you have to remember

this, like social media wasn't there.

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Like.

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AOL chat was going on.

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So like, I don't even know if you

have a listener who can even relate

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to what I just the words I just said.

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I don't think I had one.

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Yeah.

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So I mean, I didn't either, but

like, like there were forums and

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chat boards where people would go

online to comment about other people.

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And it was kind of like in

this secluded place on the

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internet, but it was still there.

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And, um, Okay.

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I mean, you know, just going through

that show and I remember going to one of

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those forums and seeing what strangers

all around the world had to say about me

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was just There's nothing like a punch to

the gut than reading about strangers who

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have Such hateful things to say about

you and they don't know you they I mean

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and the things that they would say um

I mean, there were people telling me to

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kill myself because of how I look and I

said, no, like, like it's, it's intense.

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I mean, I say that, so it's not just

like, you're not pretty, like who cares

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about that stuff, but it's other things.

174

There's people talking about your

character and your integrity and if

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you should even exist on the planet.

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And that was this, Window into,

you know, I guess the experience

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that unfortunately, a lot of

people have today on social media.

178

So, I, I just, you

know, kept my head down.

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I was going to keep going, um, living

in New York and I, it looked like

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everything was good because if you

saw the billboards and you saw the

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taxi cabs and all right, you made it.

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And you saw me on TV, um, and then

you'd have some people recognize

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you like, weren't you on that show?

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That's on right now.

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You know, um, it makes you feel like

it makes you feel like you're somebody

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and it makes you feel like you belong.

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But then you're like, but like

where, like who do I belong to?

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Like, what's that group?

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I mean, and there's a lot of longing

and a lot of loneliness going on, but I

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had to pretend that everything was fine.

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So anyway, a lot of

that was stirring in me.

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Again, I'm not practicing my

faith whatsoever at this point.

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Right.

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Whatsoever.

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Um, I had abandoned it.

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This is about 10 years in now.

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Um, I've abandoned my faith completely.

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It's not that I did not believe in God.

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I was not an atheist.

200

I was not agnostic.

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It

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Leah Darrow: was just on the back burner.

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Mari Wagner: If yeah, if it even was

there, you know, it was just, it was

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just like, it was a blip of my past.

205

It was like if somebody said something

and it was religious or spiritually based.

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I'm like, Oh yeah, I think I

know what you're talking about.

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I was raised Catholic.

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Leah Darrow: Like

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Mari Wagner: it was this thing that

happened to me in the past and you

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know, I didn't go into it, but it

was just like, yeah, it's just,

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it's, it didn't carry through.

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And I think that's really, it's where

a lot of people find themselves in

213

is, um, no, don't know how to quite

identify with that old group because

214

of clearly you have a conscience and

you have enough intellect to know that.

215

You don't practice that anymore,

but you, but you were raised that.

216

So it's just a quick thing to say

like, Oh yeah, I was raised this way.

217

So I under, I can, I can, I can

pick up on the conversation.

218

Well, anyway, so all this kind

of culminates into this photo

219

shoot that I was asked to do.

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So I was asked to do this photo shoot

for this international magazine.

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It was supposed to really help my career.

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And so I agreed to do it, of course.

223

And, um, it was, you know, in the photo

shoot where, um, We were changing sets.

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And so they were changing the

set and getting everything ready.

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And there's just a lot of people in

this big warehouse, you know, and,

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um, Upper East side of New York.

227

And, uh, we're getting everything

ready and, and they do hair and

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makeup and everything else on me.

229

And so they're, they're priming me and I'm

changing outfits and I'm coming back in.

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And I remember the, okay, Leah stands

here and we just need to take a picture

231

really quick, just to check like

lightning, to see what it looks like.

232

And they took a Polaroid.

233

So they have like these spots where

you're supposed to stand and get

234

into your pose and do your work.

235

And so I did that.

236

They took a Polaroid and they

showed me so that I would remember,

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like, I need to make sure that my

feet are right here at this spot.

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I said, yeah, okay, I got it.

239

And I gave the Polaroid back to them.

240

Um, and we started up with the shoot.

241

And then the first, the first shot that

the photographer took for me in that

242

pose, um, I just made the rookie move

and I looked straight into the flash

243

instead of the lens, which is like,

this is a really bad rookie move because

244

there's a lot of flashes going on here

at this time of, of, um, uh, experience.

245

And I had to hold up my handles like,

hold on a second, hold on a second.

246

Um, and they knew what was going on.

247

Like, I clearly like, you know.

248

Head stars in my eyes.

249

And I was just blinking as fast

as I could to regain my focus.

250

And it was in that moment of regaining

my focus where I saw myself inside

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my head, like a little movie was

playing and it wasn't like a big deal.

252

Like I just saw myself and it was just

like the picture that they had just

253

shown me, like the Polaroid pictures.

254

I was like, it's, I

mean, that was just it.

255

Um, but I did notice that my

hands were cupped together

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like this, like at my waist.

257

And then I was raising them up to.

258

Give them to somebody.

259

And then I saw Alton up above me,

the shadowy profile of a man's face.

260

And this is all my head.

261

It's like a little movie

is playing once again.

262

Um, so it's like the shadowy

profile of a man's face.

263

And I raised my hands and I give them

to him and he just looked at them and

264

bowed in his head and disappointment.

265

And I pulled my hands right back down to

my waist to see what was so disappointing.

266

Um, and they were just completely empty.

267

Like they were just empty.

268

And there were five words I

heard in my heart at that point.

269

And.

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And again, all of this is happening

within a matter of 60 seconds.

271

Keep that in mind.

272

This is all very, very fast.

273

Um, it's just all in my head.

274

And

275

Leah Darrow: I heard,

but I heard five words.

276

And

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these seem to be even more real

than what I saw in my head.

278

And it just, the five words that

I heard were, I made you for more.

279

Even when I say it, like, it just, I like

start crying immediately when I say it.

280

And I've told this story, I've been

on stages for 15 plus years now.

281

I know.

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Thousands of times.

283

Thousands.

284

I don't even know.

285

I don't even, I couldn't even count

how many times I've shared this.

286

It's so many and it still gets me.

287

I've even heard these words.

288

I've even heard you share this story live

like maybe three times and every time

289

it pierces my heart too, because it just

shows the heart of the father, like what

290

you said earlier about how you thought,

you know, mercy was just for the people

291

who were, who didn't know, like, that

just proves like, that's so not true.

292

Like, the father has a heart for every

single one of his children and here he

293

was, you know, reaching out for you.

294

Yeah, yeah, and I heard it five times.

295

I made you for more.

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Mari Wagner: I made you

297

Leah Darrow: for more.

298

Mari Wagner: And then the last two times,

the emphasis to me, I heard it more on the

299

first part, which was I made you for more.

300

And it just kind of, to

me, it reminded me of

301

Leah Darrow: You didn't do this.

302

You didn't make yourself.

303

I know you think you're making your life,

but I'm, I made you, and I have a plan

304

for you, and this is not the plan I had

for you, and then that's just like, a

305

fact, it's just the truth, it's just a

statement, and it's just, we have, we

306

have to react, respond to that, we have

to respond with an action to that truth.

307

And I just stood there.

308

I remember I kind of came out of it cause

I heard snapping from the photographer.

309

And he's like, Leah, come on, let's focus.

310

Let's let, let's get back into it.

311

And I remember just being like,

looking around being like, I

312

think I want to do this anymore.

313

And they were like, what?

314

And I'm like, um,

315

I got to go.

316

And they're like, Oh,

317

no, no, you see, you

don't get to choose that.

318

Like, I know you think you're special

being the model, but you're not.

319

And you have to stay and finish the job.

320

Like you have the

contract, we've signed it.

321

There's legal things.

322

You're already here in makeup.

323

We've already finished half of it.

324

You're going to finish it.

325

And I was like, no, I'm not,

I'm not going, I'm not going to.

326

And I just, I just knew, I just

knew the right thing to do.

327

And when you know the right

thing to do in a moment.

328

It's, you know, you can offer whatever

you want to somebody, but they're,

329

you know, if they're, if they're

stuck on the right thing, they're

330

not gonna, they're not gonna falter.

331

So I just threw off their

clothes, put on mine.

332

They were talking, they

had people coming up to me.

333

They sent like the hair and makeup ladies

over to me like, Hey, come on, it's okay.

334

Everybody feels like

this in the beginning.

335

You're going to get more used

to it because they didn't

336

know what was going on.

337

They didn't know why I was

picking up and leaving obviously.

338

Um, I just grabbed all my stuff.

339

I remember just grabbing things and, um,

clutching on myself and just like going to

340

this big, big warehouse, warehouse door.

341

It just felt like this big block

of cement, but it's like this big

342

metal door and I was opening it and I

remember the photographer was standing

343

in the back and he was just pissed.

344

I mean, like not happy, not

happy at all that I ruined his,

345

his

346

day.

347

And now he's got to go back and tell

other people like, Hey, our model

348

just just walked out on the shoot.

349

Um, But he just said, if you leave,

I remember turning around at the door

350

because his, his voice is so piercing.

351

He goes, if you leave, you'll be a nobody.

352

I'll make sure of it.

353

If you leave, you'll be a nobody.

354

And I looked at him and I

just said, do you promise?

355

And, um, he just like, Like what?

356

Yeah.

357

So do you

358

promise?

359

And then he, I mean, they didn't respond.

360

Everyone just stood there like, what?

361

And I just walked out.

362

So I walked out and I walked out that

door, got into the open air of New York

363

as open air as it could be in that city.

364

But you go, and I just remember just

walking down fifth Avenue, crying

365

like crazy, you know, mascaras

just dripping down my face cause

366

all the makeup they put on you.

367

Um, And I remember just

thinking, what am I going to do?

368

I think I just left my whole career.

369

I think I just walked out.

370

I think that was like a symbolic

walking out of everything I'm doing.

371

I think that's, I think that's

what's happening right now.

372

Um, and you know, um, so I got, I got

home, I got to my apartment and, um, I

373

did the only, anything, the only thing

that a girl could do, you know, I mean,

374

I, um, I called my dad and, uh, I called

home and I called my dad and my dad

375

answered and I said, um, if you don't come

and get me, I'm going to lose my soul.

376

And that's all that I said.

377

I didn't even say hello.

378

And there was this long pause.

379

Um, You After I said that to

my dad, I mean, it was long.

380

I don't, I don't know what it

was, but it felt so uncomfortable.

381

It was, I just thought, I

don't know, I don't know what

382

he's going to say, you know.

383

At this point, they knew that I had

been very away from the faith for

384

quite a while, and that I wasn't

practicing, and I wasn't living

385

a life at all close to anything

resembling somebody with morality.

386

Like, it, it, It was so obvious.

387

Like they, I was the talk of the

Thanksgiving dinners of praying

388

for like, how many novenas are

you going to start for that girl?

389

Because like I was the one that

they said all their novenas for,

390

um, well, praise God for that.

391

When he, yeah.

392

I mean, you know, I mean, I

guess if gossip helps somebody

393

pray, I mean, go for it, I guess.

394

But, um, I don't know what you're walking

a fine line there, but yeah, but, but,

395

but, but there, but there were, there

were very, sincere people praying for me.

396

Yeah.

397

And, and that was definitely needed.

398

Um, cause I couldn't pray for myself.

399

I couldn't pray for anything.

400

And, but when my dad finally, you

know, spoke, he just said, um, okay.

401

All right, baby, I'm coming to get you.

402

And then my dad drove 2000 miles

and he came and he picked me up.

403

I mean, he literally drove, um, yeah,

404

and get me and he got me and he got to

my doorstep, he knocked on the door.

405

And at this point I'm like a,

I am like a stupid hot mess.

406

Like we're talking, it was bad.

407

Um, and I know that we've all had moments

like this, but this was definitely like

408

the low, one of the lowest of the lows.

409

I'm still to this day, I've ever

experienced before and I get to the door

410

and I'm, I mean, I'm just done and he sees

me and I open up the door and he's got his

411

hands out, like totally stretched out and

he like leans in, he kind of jumps at me

412

and he's like, I am so happy to see you.

413

And he's like, before we leave New

York, I'm going to go to central park

414

and I want to go to Carnegie deli

and eat this big Reuben sandwich and

415

blah, and I'm like, uh, what, what?

416

What?

417

What?

418

I'm like, do you know why you're here?

419

I am the screw up.

420

I failed.

421

I didn't make it.

422

I have been a horrible example

to my five younger brothers and

423

sisters most of my entire life.

424

I have been the reason why you

have been in tears and praying and

425

on your knees for the past year.

426

10 years.

427

I have made every horrible decision.

428

To be honest with you, I can't believe

I haven't died from my whole lifestyle

429

that I've been living lately and that

you're not picking me up at a morgue.

430

So why would you be happy?

431

Like, I'm almost angry.

432

Like, right.

433

You can't be happy to see me.

434

Like I'm such a mess up.

435

Like you don't get to be happy.

436

You know, you don't get

to be happy about me.

437

Like, no one should be happy about me.

438

No one, like, I'm not happy about me.

439

I haven't been happy about me for years.

440

I'm an angry, bitter, cynical,

sarcastic, vain girl who is stuck in

441

a rut and doesn't know how to get out.

442

Like, how would you, why

would you want to be happy to

443

see me?

444

And I can't get any of that out.

445

Cause I was like, what?

446

And he's like, yeah, I'm like, okay.

447

So you want to go get

a sandwich at a park?

448

And he's like, yeah.

449

So I grabbed my keys

and I'm like, um, okay.

450

I mean, my dad's a hungry guy, but.

451

I'm just thinking this is a really

awkward time to be hungry, but okay, fine.

452

We'll go get this sandwich.

453

So I'm trying to leave and he is not

leaving the doorframe of my apartment.

454

He's like, he never

entered into my apartment.

455

All of this conversation is

taking place at the doorframe.

456

And so he, um, he just doesn't move.

457

And I said, dad, let's go,

let's go get that sandwich

458

that you really want to have.

459

And he's like, yes, but first, first.

460

We go to confession.

461

Oh, and that's when I melted

into a puddle on the floor.

462

I was like, oh Okay That won't

463

work for me, right?

464

I mean, you know back in

ten years more, right?

465

That's crazy Yeah, yeah.

466

Mari Wagner: Um, I remember passing

by churches in New York on a

467

Sunday and smelling incense and

I would stop for a quick second,

468

you know, and look at the door and

just be like, I had good memories.

469

I just didn't think I

belonged anymore there.

470

So I never went back in and uh, yeah.

471

Yeah, and that's all, I

mean, it's so many things.

472

It's pride, it's shame, it's, um,

fear, um, it's change, you know?

473

I mean, we're, we, we either

look for change or we run

474

away from change in our life.

475

And that's kind of how you can tell

the difference between somebody

476

who's growth mindseted or not,

has a growth mindset or not.

477

It's like, do you, do you,

do you look for change?

478

Or do you run away from it?

479

Because we're, we like being

comfortable, you know, we, we do.

480

And that's not always a bad

thing, but we're not meant to

481

stay in any state or place.

482

We're not even, this isn't even

our home, where we are right now.

483

Right.

484

Um, we're meant for something greater.

485

So, there's gonna be a very big change

happening in all of our lives at death

486

and, Every little change we experience

here on earth prepares us a little

487

bit for those bigger changes And I

think it was just so much of that

488

fear because when you accept truth

489

Leah Darrow: and you accept

mercy It asks you to change

490

It's kind of like the assumption that

like okay, so we're starting over but

491

not to go back You start over to move

beyond to try something different Right.

492

Um, so my dad said confession.

493

Yeah.

494

I mean, um, it was really scary, but,

uh, And again, he wouldn't let me

495

talk before I could even say anything.

496

He knows me well enough.

497

He was just like, look, you

were the one that called and you

498

said you wanted to come home.

499

I'm, I'm, I'm here to take you home.

500

And Jesus is home.

501

And if you want to go anywhere else,

you can call Southwest Airlines.

502

So, um, That was it.

503

That was it.

504

Like that, that was the beginning

of me coming back to faith.

505

It was the beginning of

me, uh, restarting my life.

506

It was the beginning of

me having a new life.

507

Um, there's, you know, we all have

these demarcations in our life of

508

different moments where it's like

you, like life was never the same

509

after that one thing happened.

510

And this is one of them for me.

511

Life was never the same

after this happened.

512

It was like, okay.

513

This is really hitting that reset button.

514

This is like, okay, like,

let's look at our life.

515

Let's see what we're doing.

516

Let's see what we're not doing.

517

What do I need to change?

518

What thinking do I need to change?

519

What thoughts do I need to change?

520

Which actions, all of it.

521

And so that became that moment.

522

And then from there, um, what a lot

of people now know me for in public

523

speaking in my work and what I'm

currently doing now is all after that

524

moment of that demarcation, right?

525

So it's from there, it was, you know, um,

I spent about three years just working on

526

myself, like what I call spiritual rehab.

527

Like I was just in deep spiritual

rehab and, um, trying to untangle all

528

of this stuff that got tangled up, um,

over those 10 years of what I thought

529

about myself, what I thought about

God, what I thought about faith, what

530

I thought about the church, um, what

I thought about men, um, sin, shame.

531

Learning how to forgive, learning

how to let go, learning how

532

to appreciate my future enough

to make it affect my present.

533

And that just kind of led from all of

that after about three years, which I

534

had no intention of this whole life that

I'm doing right now of ever happening.

535

Um, but there was an opportunity for

me that I did not create, um, where

536

I, it was for me to share my story.

537

And then that opportunity

rolled into another one

538

and

539

then another one and then I

was like, okay, I think I'm, I

540

guess this is what I'm doing.

541

This is what I'm doing.

542

Is this what I'm doing?

543

I don't know.

544

What's this what I'm doing?

545

So, so I just started public speaking.

546

I started sharing my story and then

that kind of started developing

547

into the work that I'm doing now.

548

And then, um, and here

I am now and I've got a.

549

Now I do personal development and

I actually do business coaching.

550

So it's just moved.

551

It's kind of evolved

all throughout the time.

552

And so here I am.

553

That was a really long intro, but

hopefully you can edit that to make

554

it background info that we needed,

but no, your story is so beautiful.

555

Thank you for sharing that.

556

I think that it's so

relatable on so many levels.

557

Um, Whether, you know, you too,

you know, listening are the New

558

York model, which I feel like

that's not most listeners, right?

559

But I think that there's something

that like every woman can relate to,

560

you know, I've heard it being called

like the God sized hole in you and

561

especially like, we talked about the

beginning, like our personalities,

562

like dreamer, go getter, like, there's

just this like innate desire, I think,

563

in women to like, To be great, right?

564

To be seen as beautiful to like live

up to this, like gift that the Lord has

565

given them to live up to this potential.

566

And it feels like your story, like

that's what you were trying to do.

567

Like wherever you were placed,

you were trying to reach that

568

call, reach that given potential

that the Lord placed upon you.

569

And because of where.

570

Your maybe values were or your eyes

were set on it was being misplaced and

571

I think that's something that a lot

of us can relate to at some point in

572

our life of just like I'm Trying to

make it or I'm trying to do it, right?

573

Or I'm trying to like be the best that

I can or maybe maybe you're not trying

574

but you even want to and you wish You

could and you just don't quite know

575

Where to place it or you just don't

quite know where exactly it is that the

576

Lord is it's calling you to reach that

so Let's, let's start, like, real simple

577

here, like, what does it even mean,

right, to reach your God given potential?

578

I think, like, this sounds kind of

intimidating, and some people might

579

be like, Oh, I don't know, like,

God maybe doesn't have that big, you

580

know, a big plan, like, that for me.

581

But everybody has a God given potential

and a plan, so what does that really mean?

582

Yeah.

583

I mean, so it's going to be

completely unique and, you know, and

584

unrepeatable for every single person.

585

So like, like just calm down when

you ask yourself this question

586

because you inevitably will want to

naturally compare something about

587

somebody else and what they're doing.

588

And then you, and listen, maybe

somebody, somebody's inspired you.

589

Maybe they're, maybe they're,

they're living out their God given

590

potential and you're like, yeah.

591

Yeah.

592

Yeah.

593

What's mine?

594

Is mine just like that?

595

Probably not.

596

Even if it's the same thing, you're going

to do it in a different way, you know?

597

So your God given potential is you

being fully you with God and it's

598

allowing God to fully work in you

and being very comfortable in that

599

and doing that from a place of

sincerity and humility and service.

600

So any, I, it's so common.

601

It's such a common.

602

One of my biggest pet peeves is this very

common phrase that I'm going to share with

603

you now, and what you, you kind of touched

on it, which is when somebody talks

604

about this, like, what is your potential?

605

Like, what is God?

606

Um, like what, what, what do

you think God wants from you?

607

Or are you, um, his plan for your life?

608

Uh, the common phrase,

like, Oh, I don't know.

609

Like there, there's no plan for me.

610

I'm just like, stop one.

611

You are completely, you're

completely negating scripture,

612

which is the word of God.

613

So you're wrong.

614

You're just so wrong.

615

It's not funny.

616

And you have to stop lying to yourself

to make yourself comfortable because for

617

you to step out and become who you are

is going to make you so uncomfortable.

618

And you're scared of what may people

may think or say of you deal with

619

that, but don't deal with this crap

that God doesn't have a plan for you.

620

Like it's nonsense.

621

And it is a, it's a, it's a

crutch of faith that people use.

622

To not fully be all that they can be.

623

And when we talk about be all that you

can be and be all that you can be with

624

God, it does not mean that you have to

go and abandon all of the people God's

625

given you to go out into the world

and do something completely secular.

626

That's also something else.

627

Like when you think about like

achieving your dreams or your plans

628

or the plans, God has God given, given

each one of us that are unique to us.

629

It doesn't necessarily mean that you have

to go and like be an entrepreneur or go

630

be a missionary like no Actually that that

might not be it But there is a plan and

631

there are these things that we are called

to do and so much of our plans that God

632

gives Us to do are hidden And there, no

one sees them except for a few people.

633

Definitely God.

634

I mean, the most interesting thing

about me has nothing to do with

635

my public persona, has nothing to

do with my Instagram, has nothing

636

to do with the programs I run.

637

It's the least interesting thing about me.

638

Like I've got so many more interesting

things that I do that God's given me

639

plans for that I'm doing right now, but

you don't know them and you don't see

640

them because their plans for me and my

life and my children, my husband and our

641

farm, you It's, we're, we're multifaceted.

642

So I think we need to, again,

calm down about this whole

643

like dream and plan thing.

644

Cause we get so overworked, like if I

don't know what the whole plan is, then

645

I don't, then I don't know what to do.

646

Then I'll, then I'll never know.

647

And a lot of times what God gives

us is little bits of breadcrumbs.

648

He sometimes doesn't reveal the whole

thing right away, but what, what do

649

you think is your next best step?

650

What do you think is your next

best step in your life to really

651

becoming fully you as God?

652

Amen.

653

For you to engage in his divine

energy and power and work in your

654

life with him What do you think is

like your next best step like today?

655

What could you do today?

656

And if you start there it will begin to

the plan will be revealed to you and a lot

657

of times that plan is something where it's

going to be very similar to What we read

658

in the gospels of peter calling out to

or jesus calling out to peter in the boat

659

saying, you know Step out of the boat.

660

Um You Peter had no idea

what was the next move.

661

He had no idea.

662

He's like, he's just calling me out

of this boat and it doesn't seem like

663

I should be walking on the water.

664

I mean, it does.

665

I mean, I see him doing it, but I

don't see, this doesn't make sense.

666

And if Peter would stick, if, if,

if we were Peter, we would never

667

would have gotten out of the boat.

668

Right, but when you start keeping your

focus on Christ and know that you know

669

what I'm gonna step out of this boat I'm

gonna do the thing that's uncomfortable.

670

I'm gonna do the thing

that's a little scary.

671

I'm gonna start when I'm not ready I'm

gonna start and it's gonna be messy and I

672

might I might fall God's there picking you

up and he's gonna redirect you and I think

673

we kind of forget that God's a part of

this plan and When we forget that God's a

674

part of the plan, we put too much control

and responsibility on our shoulders.

675

But Christ says, take my yoke upon you.

676

And when he talks about that,

if you just remember what a

677

yoke is, it's for two people.

678

It's not for one.

679

So he's not saying, Hey, take my yoke.

680

I'm going to, I'm going

to get out of here.

681

I think you can handle on your

own like he's not doing that.

682

He's saying no be under the yoke with me

So if this is the plan for our life, then

683

we have to trust that god will redirect

us and recalibrate us when we take a

684

step That's not quite right or didn't

seem like it was the right way to go.

685

Like god's god.

686

Just let him be him You be

you And just take some action.

687

Absolutely.

688

No, I agree with that so much.

689

And I think where people might get stuck

with that is sometimes we feel like we

690

hear that call or we kind of feel that

call and it's not super clear, you know?

691

It's kind of like a Holy Spirit

nudge of like, this is the way, or

692

like, take that leap, or, you know?

693

And I think even though

we feel that, we doubt it.

694

And we're like, Lord, is this really you?

695

Or like, how do I know for sure?

696

Like, God, can you give me a

sign that this is actually you?

697

Like, I actually need to know.

698

So what are maybe some of those,

like, concrete or practical things

699

people can do if they feel that nudge

or if they're ready to take a step?

700

Like, what do they really do to go for it?

701

Yep.

702

Yep.

703

Absolutely.

704

So I'll take you through a few steps.

705

Actually go through this in

detail inside of power me.

706

Perfect.

707

We have like a whole session on this

and it's, it's the, the, the title of

708

that session actually is, is how, um,

uh, our decisions determine our success.

709

And.

710

What type of decisions we make will

determine obviously what, where

711

we're going and what we're doing.

712

It sounds obvious, but we get really

stuck of like, is this God's will?

713

Should I do this?

714

Should I not do this?

715

And then you like get into like this

thought loop and you never get out of it.

716

That's a.

717

Tactic of the enemy, number

one, is just to sit there.

718

So kind of keep in mind like

you're in spiritual warfare

719

when you're in that space.

720

So it doesn't mean necessarily to go

and do that thing, but you're in the

721

middle of spiritual warfare, whether you

do that thing or you not do that thing.

722

So one, you have to figure out, like,

to be honest with you, a lot of these

723

decisions that we have to make are

usually amoral, meaning they're not like

724

these grave moments of like, should I?

725

Should I hurt this person and stab

him with the pencil or should I not?

726

Like, okay.

727

But I think you have a problem if you

don't know the answer to that right away.

728

Right.

729

But a lot of the questions

that we have are amoral.

730

So they don't have a huge

weight to them morally speaking.

731

And that might relieve people just

to know that, you know, just be

732

like, okay, I can make a decision.

733

And if it doesn't work

out, it'll be all right.

734

You know, um, so you have to

figure out like one, does this

735

follow God's commandments?

736

Or does it not so literally you'll

pull up your ten commandments and

737

you're going to go through This

idea that I have to do this thing.

738

Is it an alignment with

god's law and love for me?

739

Let's just say that it is now you're

going to move on to Is this an alignment?

740

With my state or vocation in life

So, you know if one of my it's

741

not but if one of my dreams was I

want to be Delta Airlines pilot.

742

I that's that's it.

743

It's all I want to do right now.

744

I would say is this does this follow

God's, you know, Ten Commandments,

745

you know, I might get away

with saying, yeah, okay, it is.

746

And then I go to that second one and

be like, does it align with your state?

747

And vocation and life.

748

And I'm like, well, let's see.

749

I'm a wife.

750

I got a lot of kids at home.

751

Don't think me leaving for pilot

school and then taking a job or

752

I'm a full time pilot is going

to be the best for that vocation.

753

So then it stops me right there.

754

That's an extreme example, but you have

to see like, what does, how does this

755

affect my vocation and state in life?

756

What are the positives?

757

What are the benefits, pros and cons?

758

And then from there, it's,

it's, is this bringing me peace?

759

Is there, is there peace about it when

I can put away what other people think

760

about it, when I can put away the fears

I have of failing in front of others?

761

Does it bring me peace?

762

Does it bring me joy?

763

Like, is there something deep within

there that I can say yes to or no to?

764

And then from there, like sometimes

like those three easy steps are just

765

a quick way to like check yourself and

then decide, okay, what would be the

766

smallest first step I could make in the

direction of this dream or goal or plan?

767

Then you take that and you just

need to get more information.

768

A lot of times we just stay up in our

head with our ideas and we don't do

769

enough practical applied knowledge.

770

So, okay.

771

Um, you, you, maybe you want to change

careers or you want to change schools.

772

Like, okay, have, have you

interned at this new job that

773

you're thinking About doing?

774

Have you visited that school?

775

Have you, um, whatever it might be.

776

Blake, have you done anything?

777

Have you taken any action that

doesn't require a permanent

778

step in that direction, but get

you more information about it?

779

And those are the things that you can

do practically to kind of start to

780

see, um, how much more you understand

that this new dream of yours, and

781

if it's still something that you're

very excited about, even after you

782

start taking these steps through it.

783

Yeah, no, that's beautiful.

784

Thank you for sharing all that.

785

It makes me excited.

786

I want to take a look at that whole

section of your, of your course.

787

I think Those are such good questions.

788

I've never thought about before

but like you said like basics, but

789

like they help you make decisions

And I think so many people struggle

790

with decision making these days.

791

It's like Especially big decisions.

792

They're like paralyzing, you know,

and it's just like, Oh my gosh, like

793

what if I make the right decision

or what I hear a lot is like,

794

what if I make the wrong decision?

795

Like, is that going to

screw up God's plan for me?

796

Or like, am I not going to find the person

for me if I choose this instead of this?

797

And in the end, you know what

you're seeing is like discernment

798

takes action and you like taking a

step in whatever direction, right?

799

With prayer, like you said, like with

discernment, um, not just like randomly.

800

But, like, the Lord works with us and,

like, has given us that will and intellect

801

and, like, we can't mess up God's plan.

802

That's just impossible, you know, and he

works with our life and even, like, your

803

story, you're saying that, like, the, for

all those years, like, you were away and,

804

like, you know, you can say, like, oh, my

gosh, I messed up the life God had for me.

805

But.

806

But look at you now, like the Lord

works with everything that we give

807

him and all those small yeses that

lead to bigger yeses that we give him

808

to craft this amazing story for our

lives, um, that will sanctify us and

809

hopefully those around us as well.

810

So that was really beautiful.

811

Um, sometimes, you know, we put

limitations on ourselves, even when

812

we're taking these steps, or we

start to hear these voices in our

813

head and we start to believe, you

know, things that might hold us back.

814

Um, what is your advice?

815

To how to overcome these

things, these voices or these

816

limiting beliefs that we have.

817

Yeah.

818

Oh boy.

819

I love this.

820

I love talking about limiting beliefs.

821

I have, um, I'm actually gonna be

putting it out again really soon.

822

I have a free masterclass on limiting

beliefs and it is It is so good.

823

It is so good because I'm just like,

man, how many limiting beliefs do we

824

hold on to that are running our lives?

825

It's very possible that your life

is not being run by you, but it's

826

being run by your limiting beliefs.

827

And that's why you're so

darn unhappy in your life.

828

It's not because you've necessarily

chosen it, but you've let your limiting

829

beliefs run amok and they're on autopilot.

830

Transcribed And you just, we have to

stop that those voices of limitation and

831

really see like, what is God calling?

832

God is calling to us in scripture.

833

He calls us to renew our mind.

834

He calls us to not listen to the lies.

835

He calls us to keep

our minds set on truth.

836

This I mean, okay.

837

If you call yourself a Christian, you've

entered into the greatest personal

838

development program in the world, by

the way, so don't tell me you don't

839

like personal development because if

you call yourself a Christian, you

840

like, you are a, you're a member,

you've got the jacket, you're wearing

841

the pen, like, it's done, okay?

842

Christ shows us the way.

843

I mean, I kind of joke

around in my in my program.

844

My Paul is like one of the

first personal development

845

coaches, life coaches out there.

846

I mean, he's constantly talking to the

people right of Corinth and everything

847

else saying, what are you doing?

848

Do this.

849

You were doing that.

850

Like he is.

851

Coaching us in this space and Christ

gives us the entire plan in the whole way.

852

So limiting beliefs.

853

Let's let's go back to that one

Okay, there is there's a lot

854

of talk around limiting beliefs

and around personal development.

855

That's really unhelpful.

856

That's not very helpful So there's

all this toxic positivity of like,

857

you know what you can do anything

you can accomplish anything talk

858

to the universe Where's your mom?

859

I'm like, okay.

860

Well, okay Talk to the creator of the

universe that might be more beneficial

861

for you than the thing he created, right?

862

Um, and then two, we have to use truth.

863

So when it comes to eliminating

belief, you have to acknowledge it.

864

You cannot pretend it doesn't exist.

865

You can't, um, just shoo it away.

866

You have to say, Oh, okay.

867

This is a limiting belief like

where is the truth in this belief?

868

And then you really try to find the

truth and like what's gonna happen is

869

that possibly in these limiting beliefs

you're gonna want to support it because

870

Subconsciously if you do that it keeps

you from from this taking massive

871

action in your life And our brains are

meant to are meant for survival So it

872

wants you to just survive, but Christ

calls us to elevate our minds to him.

873

So we have to be able to say,

okay, where's the truth in this?

874

Is this statement, would this

statement literally come out of

875

the mouth of Christ or would it

come out of the mouth of Satan?

876

And that's usually a

really big help, right?

877

It'd be like, would Christ say this to me?

878

In truth, would he say it to me

with his lips, with his words, where

879

nothing out of his mouth could ever

be anything but perfectly true?

880

Would he say this?

881

Would he say it like that?

882

Would he say it with that tone?

883

Would he say it with that emphasis?

884

Would he say it like that?

885

And you have to be really honest

with yourself with that one limiting

886

belief that you're working on in

this moment of like, is that really

887

something that Christ would say to me?

888

Now, would, is this something that

the enemy would say, say to me?

889

And then where does that belief,

what does that belief turn into?

890

If that luminum belief turns into

something where it puts you into a

891

pit of despair, where it puts you into

the point of like, ugh, I'm the worst.

892

I'm like, the, I'm like, I'm not smart.

893

I'm not, I'm like, you

know, whatever it is.

894

If that leads you down a path of

depression or despair or anxiety or

895

fear, We know right away that the, the,

the root of that is not from Christ.

896

And so it's just taking that

time to be able to discern like,

897

what are these limiting beliefs?

898

So I talk about limiting beliefs in my

program and I call them muddy puddles.

899

So they're like muddy puddles, right?

900

And you have to learn to

walk around the muddy puddle.

901

You have to like, see

it like, Oh, I see you.

902

I see you.

903

I see that you want to tell me that,

Oh, this always happens to me, right?

904

But it doesn't.

905

It doesn't.

906

And I'm going to choose not to get

into your mess and you walk around

907

it, you choose a different path.

908

So you choose to replace that limiting

belief with an empowering belief,

909

one that's also based in truth,

but it leads you to positivity.

910

It leads you to an empower belief of

that is hopeful and full of truth.

911

And so that's, you just have

to start changing them out.

912

I didn't encourage you for anybody

listening to to take some time

913

and either on your phone and your

notes or something, but create

914

like a locked note for yourself.

915

And anytime you have a

limiting belief, write that.

916

Piece of junk in there and then

later go back and be like I need to

917

reword this I have to reword this

918

and

919

Mari Wagner: you know I think any

anybody who's a mom knows this when

920

you have little kids and They start

talking and they start having ideas

921

about themselves and the first time

you hear them say something that's like

922

a limiting belief You're like what?

923

Like what?

924

Yes, you can do this Of

course you can do this.

925

You know, and then you hear these little

kids, and they say these things like, Oh,

926

I'm never ever going to be good at this.

927

I always screw up.

928

I am the worst.

929

Nobody likes me.

930

I'm never going to have friends.

931

And they say these different phrases,

and it's a really good reminder.

932

I know as me as a mom, it's

taught me that limiting beliefs

933

don't just start in adulthood.

934

They start when we're really young.

935

And there was probably a trigger

to those limiting beliefs.

936

And if you can figure out those triggers,

you might, you might start engaging in

937

some really amazing and deep healing

where you can let go and you can forgive.

938

And even if it's forgiving yourself

for holding onto that limiting belief

939

for so long, even, even if sometimes

those limiting beliefs are given to us.

940

Like we didn't create it.

941

And so that's like a really hard thing,

especially when we might've be raised,

942

we might've been raised in an environment

where limiting beliefs were just the norm.

943

Sarcasm was the norm.

944

And if that's the case, there could

be a lot of limiting beliefs that

945

are actually holding you back.

946

And setting out your future in

front of you in a place where you

947

really don't want to go anymore.

948

So doing a little bit of work,

and it's, it's not a, it's

949

not easy and it's not quick.

950

That's one thing I will say,

like personal development work is

951

something where it's a constant thing.

952

You can learn the tools and the skills.

953

relatively quickly, you

have to apply them daily.

954

So what happens inside the brain,

this is like the neuropsychology

955

part of it, um, of limiting beliefs

is that these, these beliefs become,

956

they become grooves in your brain.

957

And those grooves, the more that you

say it, the more that you think it, and

958

then the more that you act on it, they

become deeper and deeper in your brain.

959

And then they get triggered quite

easily with any type of experience.

960

And then you start, you just, it just

drives like right into that groove.

961

Like, you know, you say that one

thing and you feel that thing and

962

then you do that thing, right?

963

So to change it up, you have to layer

those grooves with that empowering

964

belief over and over and over.

965

And it's a habit you have to create, but

once you start creating it, something will

966

trigger you and you'll start, Oh, going

up to that new level of that new groove.

967

And you'll start doing that.

968

But they show this, um, In

neuropsychology, research, and

969

science, it's really amazing.

970

So it's true, God's made our brains

to work with Him and not against Him.

971

That is amazing.

972

That reminds me, I've, I've been doing

this Bible study with my friends,

973

and one of the things of the Bible

study, one of the things that they,

974

like, ask you to do is to start

doing, like, Biblical declarations.

975

And that was something I had never

really done in my life before.

976

And actually, It was something that I kind

of like, kind of laughed at a little bit.

977

I was like, Oh, wow, that

really works for people.

978

Like seeing all those like positive

thoughts, like, does that really work?

979

And you know, and like girls would

like put the scripture verse on their

980

mirror and like say it in the morning

and be like, I'm empowering myself.

981

And I was always kind of like, Hmm, that

might work for them, but I don't know

982

if that would be powerful enough for me.

983

And I, I just never really tried it.

984

And just recently in this Bible

study, it came up and we all did it.

985

All the girls in the group, we like,

we wrote it down and put it on our

986

mirror or on our phone or whatever.

987

And I just really underestimated

like the power of the word.

988

Okay.

989

Like this wasn't just like

a Pinterest, like, you know,

990

happy quote that I found online.

991

It's like, no, we're using like

the Lord's word in scripture, which

992

like, is like a sword in battle.

993

And in those moments where I was

experiencing like fear or nervousness

994

or anxiety, and like, I would start to

say this scripture verse that I, that I

995

memorized, that was like my declaration.

996

It was like, Physically different,

you know, like a piece wash over me

997

a strength, like a confidence, like

all of a sudden I'm like, no, like

998

I can do all things through Christ.

999

You strengthen to me like it's him.

00:50:45,327 --> 00:50:45,947

It's not me.

00:50:45,967 --> 00:50:49,927

So that just reminded me of that because

I love how you're, you're phrasing

00:50:49,927 --> 00:50:51,777

like, okay, take that limiting belief.

00:50:52,237 --> 00:50:56,197

Let's rephrase that what is the truth

that the Lord would say to that and

00:50:56,197 --> 00:50:58,397

like you called it the grooves, right?

00:50:58,397 --> 00:51:02,657

Like you get into a new groove a

new standard, but it takes practice

00:51:02,677 --> 00:51:06,927

and it takes Repetitiveness of like

actually seeing that and believing

00:51:06,927 --> 00:51:08,777

that because I was listening.

00:51:08,777 --> 00:51:12,172

Maybe it was a Recent podcast of yours

or something like 80 percent of the

00:51:12,172 --> 00:51:17,522

thoughts we hear in our head or yeah

are negative What negative it does take

00:51:17,562 --> 00:51:21,762

and we have practice and like repeating

those positive ones over and over again

00:51:21,762 --> 00:51:28,657

to retrain our brain To know what the

truth is Yeah, we have, we about, we

00:51:28,657 --> 00:51:34,267

have around average 60, 000 thoughts

a day and 80 percent are negative.

00:51:34,327 --> 00:51:36,077

This is in general for most people.

00:51:36,957 --> 00:51:37,927

You want to know why?

00:51:37,957 --> 00:51:40,557

Like, I don't say you want to know why,

like this is the only answer, but like,

00:51:40,607 --> 00:51:44,757

uh, if you find trouble in your life,

it could just be your thought light.

00:51:44,767 --> 00:51:49,437

Like our, the quality of our life is

determined by the quality of our thoughts.

00:51:50,817 --> 00:51:53,487

Bottom line, the quality of

your life is determined by

00:51:53,497 --> 00:51:54,637

the quality of your thoughts.

00:51:55,157 --> 00:52:00,337

And if our thoughts are not on truth, if

they're not on the things that are above,

00:52:00,347 --> 00:52:06,817

the things that are good, true, and holy,

then your life will be affected by that.

00:52:07,267 --> 00:52:11,442

And the language you use, the language,

oh my gosh, I have, uh, Mari, I have

00:52:11,442 --> 00:52:15,022

a whole, like, section on language

and I love that session so much

00:52:15,022 --> 00:52:18,942

in Power Made Perfect because it's

like, people, your language matters.

00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:21,972

If you walk around, when

everybody asks you, how are you?

00:52:21,972 --> 00:52:22,862

You're like, I'm fine.

00:52:23,282 --> 00:52:24,012

Um, I'm good.

00:52:24,012 --> 00:52:24,502

I'm fine.

00:52:24,522 --> 00:52:27,272

If you use fine for everything,

like, you'll have a fine life.

00:52:27,442 --> 00:52:28,622

Who wants a fine life?

00:52:28,662 --> 00:52:29,992

I want a magnificent life.

00:52:30,042 --> 00:52:32,437

I want like a, Extraordinary life.

00:52:32,777 --> 00:52:36,657

I want a life where I can just

give all of this joy and energy

00:52:36,657 --> 00:52:38,417

to my children and my family.

00:52:38,427 --> 00:52:39,987

Like, that's the life that I want.

00:52:41,147 --> 00:52:42,597

Then I have to change my words.

00:52:42,627 --> 00:52:48,477

If I'm using fine all the time, or if I'm,

if I describe all of my feelings as fine,

00:52:48,717 --> 00:52:50,617

or if my husband says, Hey, what's wrong?

00:52:50,787 --> 00:52:51,317

I'm fine.

00:52:51,737 --> 00:52:52,187

I'm fine.

00:52:53,187 --> 00:52:54,547

Oh, you're not fine.

00:52:55,307 --> 00:52:56,447

You're not fine at all.

00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,337

And we all know that.

00:52:57,337 --> 00:52:58,647

Like, it's a funny little thing.

00:52:58,657 --> 00:52:59,407

Like, oh, no, I'm fine.

00:52:59,447 --> 00:52:59,697

I'm fine.

00:52:59,707 --> 00:53:00,327

It's fine.

00:53:00,467 --> 00:53:01,137

Everything's fine.

00:53:02,617 --> 00:53:05,327

I know for humor, it's funny to laugh at.

00:53:05,327 --> 00:53:08,747

But the reality is, is that

your life is not a comedy show.

00:53:09,437 --> 00:53:12,827

You've got one life to live and you

don't know when you are going out.

00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:14,667

We don't know the last day.

00:53:15,642 --> 00:53:16,792

We don't know the last minute.

00:53:17,012 --> 00:53:18,262

We don't know the last breath.

00:53:18,902 --> 00:53:21,562

Every thought, every

word is accounted for.

00:53:22,102 --> 00:53:26,302

And like you said, like these

declarations, yes, spiritual affirmations

00:53:26,542 --> 00:53:29,222

are so beneficial, so beneficial.

00:53:29,222 --> 00:53:32,232

And, um, I'll give you the link

if you want to give it to people,

00:53:32,232 --> 00:53:35,202

but on my website, I have a whole

free download of script, scripture

00:53:35,202 --> 00:53:38,492

affirmations that you can take.

00:53:38,967 --> 00:53:42,627

These are so wonderful and it shows

you the scripture right next to it.

00:53:42,997 --> 00:53:46,687

And these are just affirmations you

can say because they're based in truth.

00:53:46,717 --> 00:53:50,842

I mean, if the word of God

literally created Our world,

00:53:51,212 --> 00:53:52,912

what could it create in you?

00:53:53,242 --> 00:53:58,832

If you took on the word of God and

began to say this, um, one of my

00:53:58,832 --> 00:54:03,622

deck, my declarations or spiritual

affirmations is, um, everything

00:54:03,622 --> 00:54:04,722

is always working out for us.

00:54:04,832 --> 00:54:05,192

That is.

00:54:05,702 --> 00:54:06,322

That's what I say.

00:54:06,932 --> 00:54:08,142

It's from Romans 8 28.

00:54:08,892 --> 00:54:10,222

Everything is always working out for us.

00:54:10,442 --> 00:54:14,212

I have said this at the best of

moments of my life when I'm like, Oh,

00:54:14,812 --> 00:54:16,262

everything is always working out for us.

00:54:16,262 --> 00:54:17,082

Like, it's so clear.

00:54:17,082 --> 00:54:17,812

Like, look at this.

00:54:18,262 --> 00:54:18,412

It's happening.

00:54:18,752 --> 00:54:19,942

You know, everything is

always working out for us.

00:54:20,512 --> 00:54:24,802

Um, I've said this during

days when I'm exhausted.

00:54:25,312 --> 00:54:27,642

I have no more energy

for anything or anybody.

00:54:28,787 --> 00:54:30,047

And then I have to go do something else.

00:54:30,047 --> 00:54:32,297

You know, like everything is

always working out for us.

00:54:32,317 --> 00:54:35,347

I've said this at the graveside

of my daughters that I've buried.

00:54:35,757 --> 00:54:37,017

Everything is always working out for us.

00:54:37,647 --> 00:54:43,397

It's when you, when God will lead

you to something that he wants

00:54:43,397 --> 00:54:45,097

you to hold on to with his word.

00:54:45,237 --> 00:54:49,297

And when you, when you do, when you hold

onto it, it's not become like the, you

00:54:49,297 --> 00:54:53,127

know, mantra or declaration, whatever you

want to call it, of our entire family.

00:54:53,477 --> 00:54:58,847

Our entire family says this, I mean,

um, dozens a time a day, honest to God.

00:54:58,867 --> 00:55:02,797

Like it's something that mindset

work is so big for me and my family

00:55:02,797 --> 00:55:04,657

with my kids and my husband too.

00:55:04,687 --> 00:55:08,877

Like we all work on it because

the enemy is here to attack us.

00:55:09,392 --> 00:55:11,612

Um, and mind, spirit, and body.

00:55:11,902 --> 00:55:16,622

And we have to begin to do the

work to protect ourselves so

00:55:16,622 --> 00:55:19,552

that we can do God's work and be

a part of that mission for him.

00:55:19,972 --> 00:55:24,652

So yeah, I love all the things with

script like scripture affirmation.

00:55:24,652 --> 00:55:25,332

It's so good.

00:55:25,382 --> 00:55:25,782

I love it.

00:55:25,782 --> 00:55:28,772

I'm definitely going to go check out

that download and we'll make sure to put

00:55:28,772 --> 00:55:32,172

the link in the show notes too so people

can check that out because it has been

00:55:32,172 --> 00:55:33,872

transformational in my life as well.

00:55:34,652 --> 00:55:38,492

Um, so good before we wrap up, I

want to touch on one last thing.

00:55:38,812 --> 00:55:44,032

Your message of babies and dreams, I think

is one that our world needs to hear today.

00:55:44,062 --> 00:55:47,662

And women, especially, um, I

was a focus missionary for a

00:55:47,902 --> 00:55:49,372

few years on the college campus.

00:55:49,382 --> 00:55:53,792

And so I walked with women for a few years

and they were trying to live their faith.

00:55:53,792 --> 00:55:56,752

And they also, a lot of them

were very career driven as well.

00:55:56,752 --> 00:55:59,982

And they also had these dreams

of being wives and mothers.

00:55:59,992 --> 00:56:00,612

And it is.

00:56:00,882 --> 00:56:04,642

So beautiful to see women with dreams

and like I said in the beginning like I

00:56:04,642 --> 00:56:08,432

feel like the lord has just placed This

beauty on our hearts as women to like

00:56:09,182 --> 00:56:13,062

like fulfill, you know, like fulfill

this call and to be great and to be

00:56:13,062 --> 00:56:18,382

beautiful Um, and I think women are

getting conflicting messages and we know

00:56:18,382 --> 00:56:21,422

this is true It's not even I think like

I know women are getting conflicting

00:56:21,422 --> 00:56:26,042

messages both from secular sides and

even From some circles in the catholic

00:56:26,042 --> 00:56:30,937

world, you know In the secular side you

see like Oh, like you have to climb the

00:56:30,937 --> 00:56:35,077

corporate ladder to be successful or

like motherhood is unimportant and like,

00:56:35,087 --> 00:56:36,777

that's not what your focus should be.

00:56:37,087 --> 00:56:39,947

And then sometimes even in some

Catholic circles, it's like, you

00:56:39,947 --> 00:56:41,397

should just be a stay at home mom.

00:56:41,397 --> 00:56:43,157

And like, you don't need a career.

00:56:43,157 --> 00:56:46,437

And like, you know, those dreams that

you have for your job, like are not good.

00:56:46,467 --> 00:56:48,107

Like you just need to be

at home with the kids.

00:56:48,107 --> 00:56:52,057

So, um, what advice or like what

words of wisdom would you have to

00:56:52,057 --> 00:56:56,427

say with women who kind of like feel

this pull of both and just are lost

00:56:56,437 --> 00:56:58,077

in the midst of all these messages?

00:56:59,187 --> 00:56:59,657

Yeah.

00:56:59,727 --> 00:57:04,687

So this is, it's, it's slightly,

it's a slightly nuanced conversation,

00:57:04,687 --> 00:57:07,867

so it's not, um, it's not so easy.

00:57:07,987 --> 00:57:14,897

It's not going to be a 15 second clip on

social that's going to solve this debate

00:57:15,007 --> 00:57:16,827

as much as some would like it to be.

00:57:17,387 --> 00:57:21,837

Um, but yeah, I, I, what, as you know,

I 100 percent stand behind babies and

00:57:21,837 --> 00:57:25,447

dreams and I will to the end, to the,

to the day I die, God love me, God

00:57:25,447 --> 00:57:26,817

forgive me for it, but that's what I do.

00:57:27,167 --> 00:57:30,697

Um, so one.

00:57:31,167 --> 00:57:35,357

What can women do when they're hearing

these conflicting messages, especially if

00:57:35,357 --> 00:57:39,667

you are in a position where you haven't

entered into either one of these things?

00:57:40,377 --> 00:57:40,927

Um,

00:57:41,917 --> 00:57:43,247

Leah Darrow: Stop

listening to other people.

00:57:44,467 --> 00:57:46,267

Stop listening to other people.

00:57:47,697 --> 00:57:50,707

Listen to your heart and to

what God's calling you to.

00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:55,877

Like, if it's so, even if it's

so scary to submit to what God's

00:57:55,937 --> 00:57:58,447

asking of you, listen to Him.

00:57:58,657 --> 00:57:59,737

What is He calling you to?

00:58:01,207 --> 00:58:06,477

I will say of, of the two,

you'll never regret motherhood.

00:58:06,477 --> 00:58:07,970

You could regret the career.

00:58:07,970 --> 00:58:08,567

Mm hmm.

00:58:11,727 --> 00:58:13,317

But you'll never regret that one.

00:58:14,627 --> 00:58:19,757

It's one that you want to

prioritize above all and go for.

00:58:20,247 --> 00:58:21,937

You don't want to put off thinking, ah,

00:58:22,197 --> 00:58:22,997

I'll do it later.

00:58:24,477 --> 00:58:26,397

Mari Wagner: Yeah, you

don't know if you can.

00:58:27,417 --> 00:58:30,707

Or, or what you're doing,

because it's not just you.

00:58:30,707 --> 00:58:35,337

I mean, marriage and children

don't just involve you.

00:58:35,347 --> 00:58:35,557

They

00:58:35,557 --> 00:58:42,467

Leah Darrow: involve a lot of other people

and that's why I would prioritize that,

00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:48,237

for sure, for somebody who is not

sure if they should go, like, should

00:58:48,237 --> 00:58:50,777

I start a family now, or should

I, should I, like, make that the

00:58:50,777 --> 00:58:52,507

priority now is to get married?

00:58:53,047 --> 00:58:57,057

I mean, if, generally speaking, I'd

say, yeah, yeah, I think you should.

00:58:57,462 --> 00:58:58,062

I think you should.

00:58:58,822 --> 00:58:59,212

I do.

00:59:00,352 --> 00:59:07,632

If God calls you into space, we're

also, he's asking and presenting you

00:59:07,632 --> 00:59:11,442

opportunities that again, don't conflict

with his 10 commandments and don't

00:59:11,472 --> 00:59:16,242

conflict with your vocation, but could

even potentially help it or support it.

00:59:16,657 --> 00:59:22,277

In a way, that's when you're like,

okay, maybe, maybe this could

00:59:22,277 --> 00:59:24,087

work out and can it work out?

00:59:24,117 --> 00:59:24,617

Yes.

00:59:25,217 --> 00:59:26,517

Is it balanced perfectly?

00:59:26,927 --> 00:59:28,997

No, not at all.

00:59:29,387 --> 00:59:31,257

You don't do a hundred percent of both.

00:59:31,757 --> 00:59:35,217

Um, there have been moments of my

business where I've given more time

00:59:35,217 --> 00:59:39,027

to the business in these short moments

and these short sprints that are

00:59:39,107 --> 00:59:40,797

carefully planned out with my spouse.

00:59:41,732 --> 00:59:47,022

Um, most of the time my business gets a

lot less of me than I give to my family.

00:59:47,462 --> 00:59:49,762

Rightly so, because

that's the right order.

00:59:49,762 --> 00:59:50,052

Yeah.

00:59:50,432 --> 00:59:53,692

But I'm still able to do the things that

I do and I've learned a lot of things.

00:59:54,122 --> 00:59:58,682

And this is what I do in my business

coaching is I help other women save time,

00:59:58,872 --> 01:00:03,752

effort and money to do them effectively,

but not take forever to do them.

01:00:05,332 --> 01:00:11,422

And you know, it's just, Mari, it's

one of those things where, You never

01:00:11,422 --> 01:00:13,762

want to put a baby over a dream, right?

01:00:13,772 --> 01:00:14,592

That's not everywhere.

01:00:14,912 --> 01:00:15,922

That's not what I talk about.

01:00:15,922 --> 01:00:20,012

That's not what I do

whatsoever, but to say that.

01:00:21,722 --> 01:00:25,912

to say that the baby is the only thing

that the only dream you can have and

01:00:25,912 --> 01:00:31,022

the only thing that you can do just

like whoever saying that is somebody

01:00:31,022 --> 01:00:35,992

else it's not god like keep in mind you

need to be talking to god you need to be

01:00:35,992 --> 01:00:40,692

praying and having good spiritual counsel

i think there's also something here we

01:00:40,692 --> 01:00:44,282

have to talk about or at least mention

and i think it's really important to

01:00:44,282 --> 01:00:49,422

mention this because this gets overlooked

a lot there are a lot of women that i

01:00:49,422 --> 01:00:55,737

work with In the business coaching side

of my business that have to have kids.

01:00:56,207 --> 01:01:00,027

Um, some of them are married,

some of them are not.

01:01:01,637 --> 01:01:05,087

And they would give their right

arm to stay at home with their

01:01:05,087 --> 01:01:06,147

kids and be a full time mom.

01:01:06,157 --> 01:01:06,537

Yeah.

01:01:07,162 --> 01:01:09,412

They would do anything,

anything in the world.

01:01:09,412 --> 01:01:14,042

Like it makes me tear up because they

would do anything in the world to do

01:01:14,042 --> 01:01:20,332

that full time job of those stay at

home moms that want to bring their pitch

01:01:20,342 --> 01:01:25,192

forks and their fire and to burn down

everybody who says babies and dreams.