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Emotional Alchemy: Turning Polarized Emotions into Growth Opportunities - The Demartini Show
Episode 1889th June 2023 • The Demartini Show • Dr John Demartini
00:00:00 00:21:11

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For how long have you been trying to get rid of negative thinking? You need positive thinking if you're down, you need negative thinking if you're up. You need balanced thinking if you want to master your life. Join Dr Demartini and learn how to read the valuable feedback of 'negative' thinking and learn how you can use this feedback on your personal growth journey.

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Transcripts

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If you're gullible, you need negative thinking. Skepticism.

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Skepticism is an essential part of life when people are throwing at you

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something that's delusional.

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What I'm about to share is probably going to startle you a bit and shock you

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because you're probably accustomed to so many people talking about positive

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thinking. And I'm going to

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transform the idea of that a little bit. So get ready to write.

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Your brain is a homeostatic

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system. And what do I mean by that?

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You've all walked into a room,

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each of you have walked into a room and the room has a

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thermostat, let's say. And let's say if it's hot,

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you bring it down and cool it. If you're cold,

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you warm it up and warm it to probably get it to about a 72 degrees Fahrenheit.

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Your brain has that. If you overeat,

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it gets you satiation to calm you down, make you not eat. If you undereat,

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it makes you hungry to make you eat. If you get hot, it makes you sweat.

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If it gets cold, makes you shiver.

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And those are homeostatic mechanisms to try to bring you back into balance.

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Walter Cannon, who was a physiologist, a famous physiologist,

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in 1963 or something who wrote a book on The Wisdom of The

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Body. And The wisdom of the body is also the brain obviously.

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And the magnificence is the entire body is filled with feedback systems.

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There are two types of feedback systems. A positive feedback system,

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which causes a runaway effect,

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where you probably had moments where you had a negative emotion and then you

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think you,

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you started thinking of even more negative emotions and it got to be a vicious

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cycle. Or you got optimistic and you started thinking of a positive emotion,

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you got even more of positive at it and almost manic.

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And you go into manic depressive states. In fact,

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manic and depressive states are positive feedback systems run wild.

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And then there's a negative feedback system,

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which is brings you back to homeostasis, back to balance,

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brings it back to the temperature balance. Almost every aspect of your body,

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from blood pressure, to blood sugar,

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to eating and overeating and undereating and temperature and

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almost every part of your body is feedback systems. Well,

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your mental capacity has it too. If you try to get manic and up,

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you know, really puffed up and proud you attract events to bring you back down.

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If you get really humble, people lift you up.

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And society is participating in not only in your physiology,

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not only your symptoms,

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but your psychology and your sociology are all trying to help you maintain

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homeostasis, balance.

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So when you're having positive emotions,

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what that really means is that you are subjectively biased and

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conscious of the positives and unconscious of the

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negatives that are there at that moment. We've all done it.

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You've been infatuated with somebody before and you met this new person,

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you really didn't know them, but you got infatuated,

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a little enamored with them, and you were conscious of the upsides,

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the positives, and unconscious of the downsides and blind to the downsides.

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We call it ignorance, we're ignoring the downsides. And then over time, days,

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weeks, months, or possibly years,

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you eventually discover those and discovered that that

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like and dislike, both sides.

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And so the brain forces you to discover that over time,

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even though at first you're blind and you have subjective bias and distort it

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and you know, you don't even, you have a disconfirm bias.

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You don't even want to look at the negatives when you're infatuated.

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And at the same time when you're really resenting somebody,

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you're conscious of the downsides, unconscious of the upsides,

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and you're blind and ignorant and unconscious of the

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upsides, the positive things about them. So both of those are skewed.

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Both of those are subjective biases.

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Both of those cause seek or avoiding response.

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Both of them are extrinsically driving us to seek or avoid and the world

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outside us with our misperceptions is running our life.

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But we have a homeostatic mechanism,

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an intuitive feedback trying to make us aware of both sides.

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If we're aware of both sides,

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instead of being conscious and unconsciously split,

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we become mindful and fully conscious.

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And so what that means is that when you're infatuated,

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you need the downsides to bring you back into balance.

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Or otherwise you'll infatuate them.

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You'll then stop doing what you normally do in a day and sacrifice what's

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important to you to be with them for fear of loss of them.

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And you disempower yourself.

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So if you are basically optimistic and always positive about somebody and blind

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and gullible to their positives and not seeing their downsides,

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you need negative thinking to bring you back down.

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Negative thinking is an essential component to break down projects.

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Imagine going to Mars and you're Elon Musk and you're wanting to go to Mars and

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you don't think of every possible thing that could go wrong.

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And then with foresight, prepare for it, mitigate the risk, and so you're,

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you're not likely to go out there and have to learn by trial and error.

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If you're blinded by an infatuation, you're going to live by trial and error.

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You're going to find out a fatal attraction.

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But if you have an intuition that's trying to whisper to you the other side,

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the downsides to make you see both sides,

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so you're fully aware of what you're involved in, well then you have wisdom.

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In fact when you see both sides, you actually have love.

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It's the same thing on resentful, when you're seeing the upsides. See,

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positive thinking has a place when you're starting out with negative thoughts.

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And negative thinking has a place when you're sitting gullible about positive

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infatuations.

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Your intuition is trying to point out the negatives when you're infatuated and

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the drawbacks, pardon me, the benefits when you're repressed and resentful.

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So it's trying to get you back in homeostasis, just like the temperature,

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just like blood sugar, blood pressure,

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your brain is trying to keep you in equilibrium so you have balanced thinking.

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You can't have a balanced physiology without a balanced mind.

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And anytime you have an imbalanced ratio of perceptions about reality,

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you're going to create symptoms and signs in the body to let you know that.

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And they're illnesses.

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Illnesses are nothing but an expression of all those imbalanced perspectives

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that have accumulated. They're stored in the subconscious mind.

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Every time we see one side without the other, negatively or positively,

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then we automatically store those imbalance perceptions in our subconscious

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mind, which makes us have impulses and instincts to avoid that predator-like

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negative or that prey-like positive to seek it.

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And we basically are skewed in running from that,

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which is unavoidable and seeking that which is unobtainable.

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But if we actually have a balanced view and use negative thinking when we're

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gullible and optimistic and seeing only the positive and we have positive

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thinking when seeing only the negative,

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we bring ourselves from a subjective bias and a runaway positive

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feedback system back into a negative feedback system to bring us back into

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homeostasis where we have wellness, where we have sound mind,

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where we are mindful, where we are able to see both sides.

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In my Breakthrough Experience program, which I teach pretty well every week,

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or almost every week,

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I've been training people on how to maximize that balanced state.

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You know, a balanced state and a full mindful state,

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which the Buddhist's have called mindfulness,

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is a more powerful state than the one-sided state.

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We've all been caught off guard by an infatuation and then found out, oh,

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broadsided by an unexpected fatal attraction.

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We've also been resentful and then we found out later, days, weeks, months,

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years later, we found out, thank God that occurred.

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So why have the wisdom of the ages with the aging process when you can have the

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wisdom of the ages without it, by looking right at front when it happens,

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whatever you're perceiving and intuitively prompting yourself to see both sides.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I teach a method called the Demartini Method on

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how to bring yourself back into balance.

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Claude Shannon in his work on what they called entropy and disorder,

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he said entropy is a tendency to go from order to disorder and disorder was

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missing information.

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Now what he called disorder and missing information is what I call the

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unconscious. When we have missing information, we're ignoring something,

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we have a disorder, we create symptoms in our body.

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But if all of a sudden we ask quality questions and allowed to see both sides of

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the event, we turn disorder into order.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I show people how to to take their emotional

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disorders, those things that they're gullibly infatuated with,

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that then been broadsided by,

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the things that they've resented to find the upsides to and show you how to

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balance the equation and bring yourself and see the hidden order in the apparent

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chaos, to find the order in the disorder.

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And what that does is brings wellness instead of illness,

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eustress instead of distress,

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and allows you to be grateful and love and inspired and present and

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certain about your life instead of wobbly and uncertain and volatile and manic

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depressive all the time.

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That's one of the reasons when I teach the Breakthrough Experience,

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I want people to master that skill and I make them go through the Demartini

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Method and for hours to make sure they know how to do it so they've got a tool

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the rest of their life.

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The rest of their life once they know how to use that and know how to ask the

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right questions because the quality of your life's based on the quality of the

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questions you ask,

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if you ask the right questions and become aware of what you've been unconscious

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of and balance the equation,

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you can liberate yourself from the emotional vicissitudes that occur when you

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have an imbalanced positive runaway feedback perspective.

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So the second you're able to see both sides of it, you liberate yourself,

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it's a moksha, it's an enlightened stage, it's a mindful stage,

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you're full conscious. We call it super conscious.

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In the Breakthrough Experience I have

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people also realize that if they live by their highest value, where their blood,

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glucose and oxygen goes into the forebrain, where they're most objective,

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which means neutral, they're most resilient, adaptable,

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they're more self-worth, they're more leader oriented,

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they're more empowered, they're more enlightened,

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than if they're basically living by lower values,

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which puts them into the amygdala,

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which the amygdala is wanting to skew the perspectives.

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The amygdala and the what I call systems 1 thinking is the basic system that

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causes positive feedback runaway systems,

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which is why you find that in manic depressives and addictive behaviors and

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bipolar conditions and impulsive and compulsive disorders,

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all of those are a result of the positive feedback runaway systems and

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misperceptions and not seeing both sides. But systems 2 thinking,

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which is the executive center in the forebrain is designed to see things with

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reason and objectivity, where you're thinking before you react,

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instead of reacting before you think.

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People that react before they think and then they end up having learn by trial

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and error and they end up emotional,

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and the people that actually think before they react are more likely to be

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centered and poised and present and purposeful and patient.

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And they're the ones that actually have the long-term vision and the patience to

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make things happen and sustain persistent actions until they get unstoppable

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momentum build and achievement.

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So taking the time to ask quality questions to balance out the perspectives,

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to see that negative thinking has a place too, when you're living in a fantasy.

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You know,

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if you've been highly infatuated and you can't see any of the downsides of

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somebody, you're blind.

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If you're really resentful and you can't see the upsides, you're blind.

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But when you can see both sides simultaneously,

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you're actually able to see people for who they are.

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I'm not a nice person or a mean person. I'm not kind or cruel,

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I'm not you know, generous or stingy, peaceful or wrathful,

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I'm a human being with both sides. And you have both sides.

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And thinking that you're going to get rid of one side and only be one-sided is a

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delusion. And anytime you have a perception of yourself or others,

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that is one-sided, you have a delusion. There is no one-sided individual,

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there's two sides. And so a balanced perspective

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because anything we infatuate with occupies space and

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us,

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anything that we resent occupies space and time and runs us and we have noise in

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the brain instead of love in the brain.

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So that's why in the Breakthrough Experience, I go

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which is a series of very precise questions to take

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to be able to see both sides of it,

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to all of a sudden dissolve the things that distract you so you can be really

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present. You know, people who have done meditation,

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who sit in meditation for 20,

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30 minutes and they finally get the noise to calm down,

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what the Demartini Method does is that,

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so you do it scientifically, reproducibly,

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you don't have to wait to see if meditation's going to solve it,

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it just takes you there, and then you don't have the noise in the first place.

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Many times when you get out of the meditation, you come back,

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you've still got the emotional charges there,

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you just transcended it temporarily and kind of dissociated from it.

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But the moment you actually go in there and dissolve the charges and see both

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sides of things simultaneously, you have a balanced orientation.

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You don't have just positive thinking, you don't have just negative thinking.

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You have the balanced thinking. And that sets you free.

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That doesn't have all the noise.

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That's why I tell people to come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can teach

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them the Demartini Method so they can basically ask new sets of questions so

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they can liberate themselves from this, this lopsided perceptions.

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So their physiology returns to wellness,

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their dietary patterns go back.

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I've seen people and I ask people in the Breakthrough Experience,

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how many of you, when you get distressed, you overeat or undereat,

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it's 50 50 in the room, you see it, you can just ask that question.

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You'll see it. Because some that stimulate ghrelin and some stimulate leptin,

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and these hormones are basically making us think that we're falsely saturated or

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falsely hungry,

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and they make us overdo it because of these subjective biased states.

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But if we go in there and balance our perspectives,

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we calm down our eating patterns, we're more rhythmic, more consistent,

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more governed. If you'd like to have more self-governance,

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this method helps you have more mastery over your life.

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When you have mind mastery, you have life mastery.

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When you can have governance from the executive center instead of the amygdala

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down below, you're able to see things and not overreact,

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you'll basically act.

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I'd much rather be inspired by spontaneous action,

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by living by our highest values than sitting in the amygdala,

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reacting in lower priority reactions.

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So that's why I just want to take the time that if you try to have this idea

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that you're only going to be positive all the time, you have a delusion,

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you're going to be negative, and you need both signs.

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Most people are going to try to tell you, get rid of all that negativity.

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But the reality is you need both sides in order to function in life.

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If somebody says, I've got an unbelievable deal on the moon,

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you can buy this unbelievable deal for right now on half price.

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If you're gullible, you need negative thinking. Skepticism.

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Skepticism is an essential part of life when people are throwing at you

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something that's delusional.

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When all of a sudden somebody's trying to throw you a how to get rich really

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quick, if you don't have healthy skepticism and negative thinking,

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you're going to be gullible and then you end up having negative thinking

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afterwards, instead of simultaneously, you have it later.

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I'd rather teach you how to see both sides.

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That's why I tell people come to the Breakthrough Experience.

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I want them to live by priority where they're most objective,

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where they're most in command, where they're least amount of distractions,

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least occupied by things on the outside, and governed from within.

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I want them to be able to master their life.

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That's why the Breakthrough Experience is something I've been doing for 34

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years, teaching millions of people around the world the principles,

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and hundreds of thousands of people in the Breakthrough Experience this tool,

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the Demartini Method for you to be able to master your life.

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So if for some reason you're not seeing the growth opportunity,

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the big growth opportunities is to have a balanced mind.

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Maximum growth and development occurs at the border of the positives and

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negatives. It's like the yin yang symbol you've seen the yin yang symbol,

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there's yin inside yang and yang inside yin. You need both of those,

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simultaneously, if you want to master your life.

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And so I'm not here to teach you one side and not teach you the other side.

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I'm not interested in you getting rid of half of yourself and only gain one side

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of yourself thinking that's what perfection is. The

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That's what your physiology shows. That's what your chemistry shows,

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that's what your psychology shows.

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That's what sociology's going to bring you to have a realization.

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That's your authentic self. That's your super conscious awareness self.

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That's where you're able to go and do something amazing with your life.

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If you'd like to master your life, if you'd liked to be more inspired,

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you'd like to act from a state of intrinsic drive

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all the time,

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if you'd like to not be bipolar and have all these emotions going back and forth

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and go crazy with them,

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come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can actually show you how to do the

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Demartini Method. It's an amazing tool. You'll use it for the rest of your life.

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You'll be able to help you and the people you care about with it.

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It's amazing to be able to watch work.

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I've been working on it for 50 years of my life developing this tool.

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I'm absolutely certain it can make a difference in the way you function.

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And if you'd like to master your life, come and master this tool.

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I'm looking forward to seeing you at the Breakthrough Experience.

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Thank you for joining me for today for this presentation.

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I look forward to our next week's presentation,

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but just know that I'm not here to teach you how to be only one-sided.

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A lot of people will teach you, you know this positive thinking all the time,

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but I'm interested in having you have both sides in life.

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I want you to be balanced. I want you to appreciate all of you.

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I don't want you to have to get rid of half of you,

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and I don't want you to seek a fantasy.

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I don't want you to have to avoid a nightmare.

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I want you to be able to be poised and present and purposeful, patient,

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productive, prioritized, and empowered.

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Come to the Breakthrough Experience. I'll see you there.

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That way I can spend 25 hours with you instead of just 30 minutes.

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Thank you for being with me today. I'll see you next week.

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