Tired of feeling like you’re either “all in” or “off the rails” when it comes to your habits? In this episode of 1,000 Waking Minutes, Dr. Wendy Bazilian shares the Rule of 2—her surprisingly simple, science-backed system that brings structure without rigidity, and flexibility without guilt.

Whether you’re working on limiting something (like desserts, social media, or alcohol) or building something (like movement, meal prep, or mindfulness), the Rule of 2 helps you move forward with intention—not exhaustion.

You’ll hear how this approach can help you:

• Avoid decision fatigue
• Stay consistent without being perfect
• Build habits that actually last

We’ll walk through the research behind it, offer real-world examples, and of course, take a mindful minute together to pause and reset.

Because when you have a rhythm you can trust—even one that’s just two times a week—you’re more likely to stick with it for the long haul—and that’s where real health and well-being take root.

(10:52) What is the Rule of 2, and how can it reshape the way we build habits?

(12:21) Why structure with flexibility beats “all-or-nothing” thinking in habit change

(12:46) Real-life examples: applying the Rule of 2 to eating, movement, and screen time

(17:23) The mental load of daily decisions—and how planning ahead protects your energy

(23:09) The ROIs: Surprising research on how small rituals support self-control and follow-through

(35:29) A mindful minute to pause, reset, and reflect on your next small shift

(37:50) Key takeaways—and how to put this into practice without overwhelm

CONNECT WITH WENDY:

• Follow on Instagram: @1000WakingMinutes
• Visit the website: wendybazilian.com
• Email: 1KWM@wendybazilian.com

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Thank you for tuning in to 1,000 Waking Minutes and being part of this journey—together. A huge thank you to our amazing collaborators, including our production and marketing teams, and Gabriela Escalante in particular. To the ultra-talented Beza for my theme music, my lifelong friend and artist Pearl Preis Photography and Design, to Danielle Ballantyne, Jen Nguyen, Joanna Powell, and of course, my family and everyone working tirelessly behind the scenes.

HEALTH DISCLAIMER:

The information shared in this podcast is for educational purposes only and should not be considered individual medical or health advice. Always consult with your trusted healthcare provider before making any changes to your diet, exercise, or medical treatment.

REFERENCES:

Fournier, M., Keller, J., Fleig, L., Knoll, N., & Hagger, M. S. (2021). Habit formation following routine-based versus time-based cue planning: A randomized controlled trial. British Journal of Health Psychology, 26(3), 813–830. https://bpspsychub.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/bjhp.12504 

Ordali, E., Marcos-Prieto, P., Avvenuti, G., Bilancini, E., & others. (2024). Prolonged exertion of self-control causes increased sleep-like frontal brain activity and changes in aggressivity and punishment. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 121(47), e2404213121. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2404213121

Tian, A. D., Schroeder, J., Häubl, G., Risen, J. L., Norton, M. I., & Gino, F. (2018). Enacting rituals to improve self-control. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 114(6), 851–876.

https://www.hbs.edu/ris/Publication%20Files/Enacting%20Rituals%20to%20Improve%20Self-Control_a1680de9-d84b-44c6-8db0-01d05f77c2c3.pdf   

The best habits aren't about doing

something every day.

They're about having a plan

that works in real life.

A little structure, a little

flexibility, and a simple approach

to stay on track without

getting lost in the BAZILIAN

daily decisions.

That's what I call the

rule of two.

We experience 1,000 waking minutes

on average every day.

How are you spending yours?

I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and

you're listening to 1,000 Waking

Minutes.

I can't wait to connect

with you here with practical

ways to eat well, move

daily, and be healthy.

To optimize every waking minute

you live for a happier,

healthier life.

Thank you for sharing some

of your waking minutes with

me today.

Let's get started.

Welcome to 1,000 waking minutes.

I'm Dr. Wendy Bazilian and

I'm so glad you're joining

me today.

You know those moments when

you're really trying to make

a new habit, a new

behavioral change.

Maybe you're cutting back on

sugar, trying to move more,

get more exercise during your

week, or maybe being more

mindful of your alcohol consumption.

And it's going along fine

until it isn't.

Maybe it's dessert after dinner

with friends that you just

can't resist, or a glass

of wine after a long,

exhausting day.

Or maybe you miss a

workout because, well, life happens

and deadlines approach and family

encroaches on that habit.

And just like that, one

moment turns into what feels

like a slippery slope, like

you've blown it.

The voice inside pops in

and says, well, there it

goes again.

So what's the point?

Or I missed today, so

I'll just start again next

week.

It's an all or nothing

mindset that's familiar to so

many of us.

And it's like total restriction,

like a free-for-all,

a falling, and it can

be exhausting.

More importantly, it typically doesn't

work long-term, as you've

probably, as we've all probably

experienced at times.

But what if you had

a more simple way to

build habits without feeling so

restricted?

Building in flexibility with a

little routine.

A way to enjoy the

things you love, some structure

without rigidity.

Flexibility without chaos, though.

And you can actually progress

without burnout or what you

feel like is failure yet

again.

So this is ultimately about

a way to stay on

track that I'm going to

talk about today.

And never feel like you

failed in the first place,

because as I've said before,

and I'll say forevermore, health

is dynamic, it's not static,

and we're all works in

progress.

So what I want to

talk about today, and what

I want to share with

you, I call the rule

of two.

This is something I've used

for years.

I've used it with clients,

I've used it in my

own life, and what I

love about it is it's

simple, it works, and it

never leaves you feeling like

you're either on or off

the wagon, whatever the wagon

and wherever that wagon is.

Always wondered about that.

Of course, I'll bring some

research to you and some

practical strategies, because this isn't

just about ideas and an

arbitrary rule, it's about what

actually works.

So what is the rule

of two?

Well, being a numbers and

science person who is constantly

trying to make sense of

the world, aren't we all?

I use words and practices,

I pay attention and I

observe, I research, but things

that can help keep us

on our feet, on the

ground, moving forward, I'm always

keen to pay attention to.

And a lot I get

to thinking about time, as

you know, and how much

we accomplish at times with

our time.

Those days, those waking hours,

over days, over months, over

years.

Things like habits, and how

many habits can we acquire

in a year, I've pondered

before.

Does it really take three

weeks or 21 days to

establish a habit?

Well, actually, science says no.

The median there is closer

to 60 days.

Or things like is restricting,

or maybe more gently, choosing

to not have a dessert

once or twice a week,

if that's something that you're

trying to change or alter,

what's the better approach?

Does it feel like you're

depriving yourself one way or

the other?

What's the strategy?

What's the mindset?

Well, if you measure your

days in minutes, and your

weeks in hours, and maybe

your years in weeks or

days or months, of course,

what's coming into my mind

is the Seasons of Love

song from Rent, if you

know it.

They measure your life in

love, which is Seasons of

Love, of course.

But if you think of

numbers in a bigger context,

in your days and times,

and more expansive than just

right this second or right

this day, sometimes we can

find that we have lots

of opportunities to engage, even

indulge, in the things that

we love to do, and

time to set aside to

maybe do a little less

of the things that we're

trying to curb or change

in our lives, even when

we're pulling back or that

you don't do in certain

times.

So this may feel very

abstract in what I'm saying.

I'm going to make it

more concrete in a minute.

So let's make it more

specific.

So I've worked with many

individuals, smart, achieving, goal-oriented,

motivated individuals for many years.

And I'd like to think

of myself that way at

times as well.

But I can see how

quickly certain roadblocks and obstacles

can emerge at times when

certain behaviors that someone is

consciously expressing interest in changing,

how hard it can become,

how the roadblocks come up

quickly, maybe establishing an exercise

routine they actually stick to,

end quote, this time, or

curbing the sugar in their

diets, and so on.

So one day I found

myself sort of negotiating with

a client with whom I

had been working.

And we had very good

rapport and banter, a nice

relationship.

And he was sort of

teasing back and forth how

full restriction actually works.

And then, well, until it

didn't.

It definitely worked, but then

it didn't.

And then it became a

free-for-all again, he

would say.

So he was sort of

arguing a case for just

give me the plan and

I'll do it.

And at the same breath

saying, I won't like it,

but I'll do it.

And I'm not saying that

I'll do it forever.

And I just was so

perplexed, I got to thinking

that that's just not the

way to go.

And as I've said many

times, I'm not the tough

love type of person in

the first place, personally or

professionally.

So you'll just get love

and a million, or dare

I say a BAZILIAN, attempts

at figuring out what will

work for you.

What is the way to

find how to make the

habits stick for your health

and your lifestyle, your conditions,

your preferences, your personality, your

specialized circumstances, your peculiarities maybe

in a way though, that

it feels life enhancing, that

it feels reasonable.

And maybe even pleasurable if

possible.

So it hit me one

day, could we adopt a

practice, something different one day

a week?

You know, I just, I

started like, let's think of

one day, let's think of

our day as a series

of minutes.

Is it too much to

ask in a seven day

period to curb something one

day or to add something

one day?

Most people say, well, if

I'm going to try to

take on a health habit,

that's not enough.

Maybe not.

Well, you know, it turns

out that most people can

do something once a week.

When they know and when

they plan, they can do

it, which is amazing.

We feel we have enough

control to actively plan in

the one.

How about twice?

So I started to revisit.

Well, yes, but you know,

the but here is planning

is one thing for one

day a week, but what

about spontaneous moments?

All of a sudden I

see like certain challenges arise

with the second day creeping

in.

And then dare I suggest

a third, which I won't,

you know, I don't know

what I'll feel like that

day.

What if my schedule changes?

What if I have a

hard day?

What if a surprise visitor

comes?

What if it's a celebration?

What if, what if, what

if?

There's so many, what ifs

that we react to in

our busy active lives where

we have lots of choices,

but there was something to

practicing two times that required

and showed me that two

was possible because every day

we show up, every day

I'd like to see elements

of eat well and move

daily and be healthy.

But when you're working on

something very specific, like cutting

back or adding in a

behavior, two was a number

that I could work with.

And I tried it on

a lot of people and

it often worked because two

times in a week is

just shy of a third

of the time, a third

of your seven days.

It's not half, it's not

more than half, it's just

shy of a third.

And two in a week

translates to an opportunity to

have 104 of something in

a year.

If you think 52 weeks

times two, 104, 104 days

of practice, of regular routine,

consistent practice, if you chose

to expand whatever habit you're

trying to form to that

duration, that's relevant.

So what is this rule

of two?

And why does it work?

Well, the rule of two

is a simple framework and

it helps you create structure

without feeling stuck.

It works in two ways

conveniently, depending on whether you're

trying to limit something or

build something in.

Two days in a week

and not two days in

a row.

This is practical and not

about restriction.

It's not about getting it

perfect even every week, but

making it easier than you

thought.

It's about planning one and

having one that's spontaneous, which

we'll get to.

And it's practical.

Think of it like bumpers

in the bowling lane, you

know, the ones we pop

up for kids so that

you don't land in the

gutter.

It turns out that symbolically,

those types of bumpers can

help us adults too while

we're acquiring new habits.

The goal isn't to bowl

a perfect game every time,

but it is to keep

yourself out of the gutter,

right?

So the rule of two

keeps you moving forward without

veering into the all or

nothing thinking, the gutter.

I'd like to think of

that.

And so I started realizing

that this could work with

a variety of practices that

we often try to do

or undo in our lives

because it helps keep you

from getting stuck in extremes.

It can give you a

system that's flexible, but also

has some structure.

And it can work with

habits that can actually help

them stick over time because

it's the practice engagement, but

not through willpower, but through

consistency.

As an example, let me

first apply the rule of

two for things you want

to limit but not eliminate.

Let's say you're working on

something you want to cut

back on, but not completely

eliminate.

Maybe like desserts, alcohol, perhaps

it's scrolling on social media,

or even default ordering takeout

because you haven't planned dinner

in advance.

For some, it might be

staying up too late watching

TV every night.

So the idea of the

rule of two here is

that you're going to allow

and practice building in the

habit rather than eliminating it

two times a week.

You simply allow it in

as a choice or option

into your life twice a

week.

So you take it off

the table, the others.

You plan in the behavior.

This is where the rule

of two keeps you from

feeling like you're constantly making

a decision because the decision

is already made.

It helps you with decision

fatigue, and you write it

down and you commit twice

a week.

And here's the thing, and

this is important.

One is planned and firm.

You know when you're going

to do it.

But one is planned but

flexible.

You know it's going to

be one more time, but

you don't know when.

So let's take desserts as

an example.

You decide.

I'm going to ease off

dessert every night as a

habit.

But instead, we're going to

plan for two nights a

week that you will have

your dessert.

So Saturday night, perhaps, you

have plans at a favorite

restaurant that has a fabulous

pastry chef.

So there it is.

It's a planned dessert.

You don't have to negotiate

in advance, like I'll have

a lighter entree so I'll

have the dessert or I'll

skip the dessert because, you

know, none of that.

You plan it.

Whatever you order, whatever you're

doing, you're having dessert on

Saturday.

And the other?

Well, mark it on a

calendar so you remember.

So you have a plan.

But that's the flexible one.

Let's say a friend invites

you out for coffee and

there's a pastry case and

there's something that looks amazing.

Or your friend says, hey,

you want to split this?

And you feel like yes

would be the answer you

want.

You've got room for it.

That's the flexible opportunity, and

it's your second time.

Ideally, and the idea of

rule of two, is that

it's not two days in

a row.

So most times, let's make

it that it's Saturday, but

it won't be Friday or

Sunday, but it could be

any other day of that

week.

Because, my goodness, if you've

had it one time, it

will never be more than

a couple days away until

you get it again.

So that's really beneficial psychologically,

not to mention you've made

the decision.

It helps you keep it

as a choice, not as

a habit that you're doing

every single day.

It helps you keep the

glass of wine from turning

into a nightly routine, if

that's something that you're working

on.

Or social media can stop

the scrolling from becoming an

automatic part of your winding

down routine.

It keeps us slightly aware

without us having to be

hypervigilant and making a decision,

am I, am I not,

scolding yourself when you do

something.

And it gives you a

sense of control without feeling

deprived, because you always know

that the activity is right

around the corner within a

day or two.

It forces us also to

take a look ahead and

to engage a tiny bit

in planning.

So we commit mentally, maybe

even on paper, I encourage

that, or digitally on your,

if you keep your digital

calendar, but put it on

your calendar.

You can code it if

you share your calendar with

others so that you know

what you're doing in your

rule of two.

And when you plan, when

you commit and verbalize to

yourself or others, you're more

likely to follow through.

And here's the thing, two

times a week is 104

times a year.

I've mentioned that before.

If you're doing something 104

times a year, can you

possibly really be deprived?

It's just a structured way

of helping you keep in

balance, keep your mind in

the game, and be sort

of lighthearted about some of

these things that feel like

dreadful that we're having to

do all or nothing.

I'm avoiding desserts this month.

Gosh, that sounds depressing, just

saying it.

So here's another example.

We're going to flip it.

For things that you want,

things you want to be

consistent with, but not rigid

about.

So this may feel like

a little different than what

you're used to.

If you want to be

consistent, but not obsessive about

something like exercise, for example,

this is where the rule

of two works the opposite

way.

Instead of deciding first when

you will do the thing,

first decide when you'll take

a break from the thing.

So let's say you're trying

to exercise more consistently, and

you know I want you

to move every day in

some way, but talking about

the structure, like a exercise

routine.

And we also know from

science that working out or

doing half hour or more,

150 minutes a week, that's

on average about 30 minutes,

five days a week, that's

not seven, is consistent with

health promotion and disease risk

reduction.

So I have to work

out every day is a

mantra that really is not

realistic.

We know that.

But how about setting your

two off days first?

So maybe your planned off

days are Wednesday.

Arbitrary here, but let's say

that's your busy work day,

and you know you need

the extra time, and consistently

it's not a hit, it's

a miss when you do

try to do exercise in

your other attempts over time.

So Wednesday, it's a day

off.

The other day could be

flexible, because remember the rule

of two, it's just not

two days in a row,

but you can choose to

be spontaneous with it.

But let's plan it just

so we have it into

the calendar.

Maybe it's Sunday.

And again, I'm making this

up, but let's say Sunday

is a day that you

can sleep in.

Maybe it's a day that

you want to run errands.

Maybe you just don't want

to stress about working out

that day.

To some people, exercise brings

the greatest joy, they can't

wait to do it, they're

all in.

Other people exercise is a

little bit getting over the

hurdle, like I know it

makes me feel good, I

know I need to do

it, I know that it's

part of my active life

that I want to live,

but I don't always love

it, and I do enjoy

my days off, and I

do enjoy other things, and

that's fine.

So what does this all

do?

Well, it makes your workout

days automatic.

It doesn't allow you to

think like, should I work

out today?

No, because you already know

that today's the day because

your day off is planned.

Or worse, like thinking all

day about it.

I don't know if you've

done that.

I have, and I've had

to re-up my rule

of two on this one.

You think all day about,

like, I've got to get

my workout in.

You're beating yourself up figuratively,

practically, literally, as you crawl

into bed thinking you've failed.

If that sounds familiar, and

I've been there before, most

of us have, then the

rule of two can really

help.

If it's a day off,

there's no sweating about it.

I took this day off.

If it's your spontaneous day

off, then it resets the

next day automatically as a

workout day, and you can

feel motivated and enthusiastic even

about that.

When you plan the days

off, there's really no debate,

no guilt, no talking yourself

in or out.

And why?

It removes the decision fatigue.

You'll hear me say that

in a variety of ways

today.

You don't spend energy wondering

if today's the day to

work out or not.

And it may even make

the days on, dare I

say, more solid, more rewarding,

because you do have days

off on the horizon and

as part of your well

-lived and balanced life.

So you're not falling off

if you miss a day.

You've planned for it.

It creates a rhythm.

It makes consistency feel more

natural.

And it allows you to

feel like you have some

say here and some control

with flexibility, too.

So let's really be realistic,

though, about this.

Even the best intentions, even

with the rule of two,

can become unraveled at times.

And that's a fact of

life.

But by having the rule,

you have some guidelines, and

it's not so extreme that

you can't adjust.

You can still be on

track and successful and making

progress even if your plan

upended.

Seven days in a week

allows for more than one

example of removing or fitting

in something two times.

So to recap this little

bit, and then I'm going

to share some research with

you, why this works.

Well, numbers don't lie here,

too.

I love a good reality

check.

If you limit something to

twice a week, it's 104

times in a year.

That's plenty of opportunity and

hardly deprivation.

If you commit to something

and just take two days

off a year, for example,

exercise, that's 260 active days

a year.

That's consistency without burnout, and

that's remarkable.

So it's enough to see

progress.

It's enough to keep momentum

and enough to make things

feel like a choice and

not a chore.

So that's really the heart

of it.

The rule of two isn't

about being perfect.

It's about having enough structure

to keep you moving forward

without feeling stuck.

All right, so let's get

into some of the research

behind why the rule of

two actually works because it

isn't just about making a

rule and hoping that it

sticks.

It's about understanding how we,

as humans, build habits, make

decisions, and create sustainable change.

And there are three really

important benefits or the ROIs,

the returns on investment, to

know about here.

Benefit number one, habits stick

when they're structured but not

rigid.

A study published in the

British Journal of Health Psychology

a couple years ago examined

how different cues influence habit

formation, particularly in everyday nutrition

behaviors.

So participants were assigned to

plan their new habit around

either a routine-based cue,

like a regular activity, think

breakfast, or a time-based

cue, like a specific time

of day.

And the findings showed that

consistency is more lasting than

frequency.

It took participants a median

of 59 days to reach

peak what they called automaticity.

I tried to get that

word for you for today

to commit that to memory.

Automaticity in their new habits,

emphasizing, and making the habits

automatic is what I mean

to say with that super

intellectual word out of the

science.

Emphasizing that habits form over

time with consistent practice.

That shouldn't be a surprise

to you, but it's good

when science shows it.

But not necessarily just daily

repetition, but consistency.

So habits don't have to

happen every single day to

stick, but they do need

to be consistent enough that

they start to feel automatic.

So think about something you

do regularly.

Maybe it's making coffee in

the morning or going for

a walk after dinner.

Maybe it's checking your phone

when you wake up.

You didn't decide one day,

I will now do this

every single day for the

rest of my life.

No, it just became part

of your rhythm because you

did it often enough that

your brain started to expect

it.

And the other piece of

this research was about what's

called flexible anchoring.

And I've talked about this

before.

It's about linking or aligning

behaviors with already existing routines

or timing.

So both routine-based and

time-based cues were effective

in this research, suggesting that

linking new behaviors with existing

routines or specific times can

help forward or facilitate the

habit formation without the need

of a rigid routine.

So they found that linking

the behavior to routine-based

cue like breakfast or after

lunch or a time like

9 a.m. each day

led to stronger and more

automatic habit formation.

So this study underscored that

habits don't require daily execution

to be ingrained, rather they

benefit from consistent and a

flexible structure.

And this is consistent and

supports the rule of two

idea because we can limit

behaviors but have reasonable access

to them.

They don't have to be

all or nothing.

For actions like consuming desserts

or alcohol, if you don't

have alcohol disease or struggle

with addiction, of course.

For allowing yourself indulging or

participating, I should say better,

twice a week, one planned

and one flexible, those two

occasions.

It provides both structure without

complete restriction.

It reduces the feelings of

guilt but it gives you

a plan to act on.

And it also helps by

actually helping you practice and

build the habit in because

when you take it all

away, you're not actually practicing.

So there's no surprise that

all or nothing becomes nothing

or all again.

So for activities like exercise

or meal prep, scheduling days

off, those two days off,

can require and ensures that

you regularly engage without the

pressure of daily commitment.

And it makes a habit

something that you can grow

and attain and become sustainable

with.

So the key from this

to remember is that predictability

coupled with flexibility fosters the

sustainable habit formation.

And by implementing the rule

of two, you create a

balanced framework to support your

long-term behavior change, shall

we say, without the rigidity.

So predictability and consistency without

rigidity.

Benefit number two, too many

decisions just wear you down.

I can't even say the

word decision, too many decisions,

because there are so many.

We make micro decisions constantly

every single day.

So this is something that

drains our energy faster than

any long work day, I

think, and it's decision fatigue.

You know the feeling when

you've spent your day making

choices, what to wear, what

to eat, how to respond

to emails, when to have

that meeting, when to make

the calendar plan, what's for

dinner.

And by the time dinner

rolls around, you just can't

even make another decision, it

feels like.

You either order takeout, maybe

you skip your workout on

top of it, or you

just go on autopilot on

what you've done, whatever's easiest

at the moment as you

sort of scroll, I call

it scrolling, but you open

the refrigerator and just scroll

up and down, like what's

in there?

This is decision fatigue, and

it's very real.

A 2023 study published in

the Proceedings of the National

Academy of Sciences found that

when people exert prolonged self

-control, when they're constantly weighing

choices and resisting impulses, their

brain actually starts to slow

down.

You can feel it.

It's almost like sleep deprivation

is how it shows up.

The part of the brain

responsible for decision-making, the

prefrontal cortex, shifts into a

state where it's less efficient

at making thoughtful choices.

And what happens when this

happens?

People become more irritable, become

less cooperative, and more likely

to make impulse decisions.

And these are decisions that

they might not have made

if they weren't so mentally

exhausted.

So one media report about

this study made the connection

to everyday life, and I

sort of liked how it

went, so I'm going to share

it with you, how about

after a long decision-heavy

day that we would be

more likely to snap at

someone, to skip a workout,

or grab whatever is easiest

to eat?

Not because we want to,

but because our mental energy

is just tapped out.

So has this ever been

you?

As a self-employed and

driven working mom, I have

to say it has been

me before.

I can certainly relate to

this.

So how does the rule

of two pertain here?

Well, it can help immediately

because it removes some of

the extra decisions about some

of the very important things

in our life, like health

and our health habits that

we want to work on

that we know will foster

feeling good in so many

ways.

It literally removes the mental

gymnastics of should, shouldn't I?

Instead of constantly debating whether

you will have the dessert

tonight, what you're going to

do, whether you're going to

have a glass of wine,

you decide in advance two

times per week, one planned

and one flexible.

That way, when the moment

comes, the decision is already

made.

No guilt, no impulse, no

energy wasted.

If that sounds easier said

than done, just try it.

Try it.

You will find that the

decision made helps you immensely.

The decision is made.

There's no all or nothing.

There's another day, another dessert,

another whatever it is that

you're forming.

It works.

This makes a real difference,

and it may be additive

when you learn how to

reduce some of that decision

fatigue through this method.

So the study, back to

the study here, it showed

that people who preplanned decisions,

they avoided some of the

mental burnout that led to

impulsive choices.

So when we create structure

around habits, like the rule

of two, we actually make

it easier for ourselves to

stick with those over time.

When you have a structure

in place, all you have

to do is follow it.

And the third and the

final benefit I'll share with

you today is about simple

rituals, like applying the rule

of two, that make self

-control easier.

Yikes, self-control.

Can we even talk about

that?

Now, this is something that

many of us often think

of as a real challenge,

the challenge of self-control.

We tend to assume that

people who stick with their

habits, who don't overdo on

desserts or consistently get in

their exercise, they just have

more willpower, right?

And don't get me started

about willpower topic for another

day.

And who is Will anyway?

And Will wants his power

back.

That said, I walk down

the path.

But research shows that having

willpower isn't really the case

at all.

A 2018 study published in

the Journal of Personality and

Social Psychology looked at how

rituals, those small repetitive behaviors

that we do, they actually

enhance self-discipline and make

it easier to stick with

our goals.

So researchers conducted six experiments

and they found that when

people engage in simple structured

rituals, they were better able

to resist temptations and follow

through on their intentions, whether

that was eating less or

staying focused or making healthier

choices.

One of the experiments had

participants have like a pre

-eating ritual that they would

perform for five days.

Something as simple as like

taking a deep breath or

cutting food in a simple

way or pausing before taking

a bite.

And when compared to the

group that didn't have the

ritual, those who did consumed

fewer calories and reported feeling

more in control of their

choices.

That's from something like taking

a breath.

Think of that.

Another experiment found that when

people tied a small ritual

to a goal, like repeating

a phrase before tackling a

task or using the same

prep routine before a workout,

they found it easier and

stuck with the behavior longer

and felt less resistance in

doing it.

In fact, small rituals improve

focus and persistence.

So why does this matter

with the rule of two?

Because the rule of two

itself is a ritual.

It's a simple, repeatable framework

that guides your choices.

Instead of constantly debating, like

we've said before, should I,

shouldn't I?

You follow a system that's

already in place.

And it's this small shift,

having a plan that you

stick to, even in a

flexible way, it can remove

the mental strain of making

decisions in the moment.

It literally provides a clear,

repeatable system that removes the

in-the-moment decision fatigue.

It's really the difference between

saying, you know, ugh, I

guess I shouldn't have a

glass of wine tonight to,

you know, I already had

my two this week.

I'm good.

Think about that.

And instead of battling yourself

about your workout, maybe you

just celebrate.

This is a day off.

Maybe you get to the

point where you can just

proclaim it.

You can say it proudly.

This is a day off

without burying it in some

kind of guilt.

So when we pre-plan

decisions and there's a simple

system in place, we're far

less likely to be mentally

exhausted too.

So remember, simple structure, clear

decisions make self-control feel

more natural instead of forced.

It's less struggle and it's

how habits stick.

So we're going to launch

into some practical tips to

get us started in a

moment.

But because we've digested all

that, I thought it would

be good to take a

mindful minute together first.

So as you know, in

most episodes, we do a

mindful minute together and it's

our pause to reset, to

simply be present.

There's nothing to do and

it's just a moment for

yourself.

So as preparation, put your

feet grounded on the floor.

If they're crossed, uncross them.

You can be seated.

You could be standing.

Let's ground our hands, our

energy, roll your shoulders back

and let's take a preparatory

breath in together through your

nose and out through your

mouth.

I'll start our timer now.

Just enjoy this mindful minute

together as

you're breathing easy, think about

something you've been working on.

Maybe around eating well, moving

more, being intentional about rest

and consider the rule of

two.

What if you gave yourself

two dedicated times for this

habit?

One planned and one flexible.

What if you had more

space for balance instead of

the all or nothing?

As you breathe, recognize you

don't have to have all

the answers.

Just noticing this thought is

enough.

Let it sit.

And imagine how you might

feel after you try this.

The rule of two is

something that you're trying to

work on.

One more deep breath in

and out.

And that's it.

Just a moment to pause

and reset.

I hope you gave some

time to yourself either just

to let your mind wander

or maybe consider the rule

of two in your life.

And you can come back

to mindful minutes on your

own anytime.

It only takes a minute.

Thank you for sharing that

mindful minute with me today.

All right, let's talk about

how to actually use the

rule of two in your

life.

Because an idea is just

that, an idea, until you

apply it.

And this one is designed

to be simple, flexible, and

something you can stick with

and try.

Think of it like training

wheels on a bike or

those bumpers, again, remember, in

the bowling alley.

The goal isn't to ride

with them forever, but they

give you enough structure and

you can put them into

place as you acquire new

habits over time.

And there's no reason you

can't do them for as

long as you wish.

But they keep you steady

until the habit becomes second

nature.

So here's how to get

rolling, so to speak, with

the rule of two.

Number one, step one, let's

say, pick one habit and

apply the rule of two.

That may seem obvious, but

pick one.

If you're trying to limit

something, like the desserts, like

sugar, like social media, like

alcohol, or if you're trying

to build something, add something

in, like meal prep or

reading before bed, I didn't

mention that yet today, or

exercise in a fashion and

a routine that you're looking

to do.

Start with just one thing.

No need to overhaul your

whole life overnight.

And then step two is

set your plan.

This is where the rule

of two kicks in.

For things you're limiting, choose

your two times this week,

one planned, one planned but

flexible.

So maybe your planned dessert,

like we talked about before,

it's Saturday night, or maybe

it's Sunday dinner with family.

And then you're flexible for

the one that can be

a spontaneous moment when you're

so moved.

Or maybe you plan to

have a drink on Friday

night at the end of

a long work week.

And then one's flexible, in

case something fun comes up,

a friend comes in town,

you're out on a business

dinner where it's sort of

expected.

The key is just not

two days in a row

so that you don't fall

into the daily habit loop

that can happen.

And for things that you're

building, choose your two days

off so your days on

are more automatic.

If you're starting a workout,

don't try for seven days

this week every single day.

That will surely lead to

some pain and soreness, mental

stress, and probably burnout.

Pick your two days rest

ahead of time.

If you're meal prepping, set

two no-cook nights.

Maybe that requires you planning

and prepping in advance.

Maybe it allows for leftovers.

Maybe you plan for takeout

or going out.

But then you know the

other days are covered.

The key is the decision

is already made.

No more daily mental debates

on the one thing that

you're working on.

Step three is adjusting without

guilt.

So life happens.

This isn't about being perfect.

And it's always important for

me to remind people of

that because we can get

rigid and fixed even on

simple strategies.

So if life plans change,

if your plans change, swap

your day.

Shift things around.

The structure allows for that.

If you've had your flexible

dessert already but another event

pops up, maybe swap your

planned one or skip it

this week.

No big deal.

The whole point is to

try to avoid the guilt

spiral and give yourself structure

and freedom.

You'll feel really empowered as

you experiment with this, I

assure you.

And I encourage you to

write me and tell me

about it.

At the end of the

day, the rule of two

isn't about restriction.

It's about knowing you always

have another chance coming.

It's about staying consistent, but

not feeling deprived.

Remember two times a week,

as I've said before, and

I'll say again, it's 104

times in a year.

That's a lot of opportunities

and you're never more than

a couple of days away

from your next one.

So what is the habit

you're going to start with?

Pick one, set your plan,

and give yourself permission to

make this easy.

So as a wrap up

for today, this is what

I hope you take away.

The rule of two is

simple, but it's powerful.

It's not about rigid rules

or forcing yourself into any

extreme.

It's about having just enough

structure to make things easier

without feeling stuck.

And whether you're limiting something

like desserts or social media

or sugar, or building something

like meal prep or daily

movement, the approach gives you

a system to keep you

consistent without the guilt, the

stress, or decision fatigue.

It at least takes away

one of our million daily

decisions.

And most importantly, it helps

you stick with your habits

in a way that actually

fits within your life.

So this week, I invite

you to try it.

Pick one habit, set your

two days, see how it

feels.

And if it works for

you, keep it going.

Adjust as needed, and make

it your own.

And if today's episode got

you thinking, I'd love to

hear from you.

You can always connect with

me at 1KWM@wendybazilian.com .

.

That's my email.

Or you can visit wendybazilian

.com and find me in

through those doors as well.

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And as always, thank you

for sharing some of your

1,000 Waking Minutes with me

today.

Until next time, be well.

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I'm saying yes to better

days, yes.

I'm on my way, yes.

It's gonna be okay, yeah.

I'm saying yes to better

days, yes.

I'm on my way, yes.

It's gonna be okay, yeah.