On this episode Joel and Andy discuss some tips and tricks to navigate the holidays. Many times the holidays can be tricky weather its that uncle that brings up topics that will start fights or the loss of a loved one. This episode talks about some ways to handle these issues.

On this episode of the Dudes and Dads podcast, we talk about navigating the holidays.

You're listening to the Dudes and Dads podcast, a show dedicated to helping men be better dudes and dads by building community through meaningful conversation and storytelling.

And now, here are your hosts Joel Damonna and Andy Layden.

Andy?

Joel.

Hi.

It's the holidays.

It is the holidays.

The holly, holly jolly.

It's holidays.

It's officially, I mean, Thanksgiving is past.

But we see we're still in it now.

And so we have the holidays.

It's, you know, Thanksgiving passes, the music turns to Christmas and it's all Christmas.

Andy, did you and I discuss earlier, maybe last month, did we have the conversation about the first, the first time this season that we heard Christmas music out in public?

I don't, I don't think we did.

So Christmas music started for me in October.

Okay.

It was the last, I want to say the last week in October, I was in a, where was I?

Menards.

That's where I was.

And the Christmas music was playing.

I don't be honest with you, Andy.

I got a little bit salty about it because I really feel like I'm all for, I could probably do a mid November, mid third week, November Christmas music entry.

Right.

Totally fine.

I, this, this season, I'm wondering, I'm wondering if other people feel the same way.

This season in particular, I feel like we almost bypass Thanksgiving.

I feel like, I think some Christmas things, as far as the marketing campaigns and all of that started sooner.

I don't know if there's certain economics uncertainties that are looming where everybody's like, listen, let's get people, let's get in there.

Let's get in the, the holiday.

Sure.

Let's get the spirit to the gift giving spirit.

Let's do it now.

So we can make the most of the season.

So I have felt like we've been in the holidays a little bit longer than the, than the huge this year.

Yeah.

I, I had to agree.

And I think it's interesting because I asked my kids and I actually asked this on one of the Friday dudes and dads podcast.

Yes.

Like when is, when is the Christmas, two really to start celebrating Christmas?

And my, my son, Eli was very adamant that it was after Thanksgiving.

Like let Thanksgiving be.

Yes.

And then you can celebrate all you want.

He doesn't want to paint Thanksgiving.

Right.

You have to start with Thanksgiving first.

Let Thanksgiving have its own time.

And then you're able to break out the Christmas music as soon as you eat your turkey and say, right, you know, Friday happens.

It's time for, for Christmas stuff.

Right.

We don't want Thanksgiving to become the middle child of holiday seasons.

Right.

We don't want to forget.

And just pass right over.

Right.

That's what we're saying.

Yeah.

I wonder, I wonder for each of you listening, if you feel like, yeah, what's the appropriate timeline on the, let us know in the comments.

Yes.

I'd love to see what's, what's the appropriate time to start.

I know for us, the, the, the hacking down of a Christmas tree usually happens right after Thanksgiving.

We gave up hacking down Christmas tree.

You're going on official.

Yeah.

And we did that a few years back and I don't think we're going to go back.

Interesting.

It was just one thing you, you set out the, the holiday priorities and you said, this is one thing that we can, we can change.

Yeah.

Well, I forget what the reasoning behind that was, but there was some specific reason that we decided we were going to go ahead and do, do a fake tree that year.

I forget what exactly it was, but we went with it and the kids weren't happy, but every year it's just so much easier to do that.

Yes.

And it's not the same when I know that it's not the same, but it's less messy.

Oh, for sure.

And it's easy to have to go out in the cold and do it.

Yeah.

Do you, so the years that you did go and get a Christmas tree with the family, was this a, was it a jolly time?

Was it a fun?

Oh yeah.

It was a good time.

So you don't have some sort of like strange, no bad memories.

No, no, no bad Christmas tree fell on one of your kids and nothing like that.

Sap everywhere.

I was, I don't know if you saw it.

I'm our good friends, Brian and Brian and Kim, the Chris's, they went out and I mean, here's the deal.

They're in a newer home that they built and their main living space has a very tall ceiling.

This is part of their design.

They wanted, they wanted big windows, lots of light in that.

So tall ceiling.

So this is, this means, and I'm still not entirely sure how they get this thing in, into the front door, but they have gone, they've gone on.

Gone with a tall Christmas tree.

And I think it was Kim that put up the, the Clark Griswold.

It was like some, some, some name.

Right.

And I always just think about that scene when they, when they get the tree that's, oh, several feet too tall for the, for the house.

And it just wedges it right in there.

But yes.

So you don't have that problem.

No, no, I don't.

We don't.

It fits nicely in a box.

That's nice.

And, and I will say, I think there's a number of different ways.

So we have, we go, we go both.

Here's what we do because the setup of our house, our main living space is in the back of the house.

And so you can't really display the Christmas tree in the big front window kind of situation.

Like all, like you go down, you pull down our street and you're looking at all the houses and everybody's got their Christmas tree in the big front window.

Right.

You can all see it.

We, that, that front room, as my wife will tell you is basically useless during the year.

And so what we do is we've done the artificial tree that we decorate, put in the front.

And then we have another real tree that we put in the back that when we are home for Christmas, Christmas morning, that's where we congregate is back there.

Okay.

So we've gone artificial.

We were so Andy, we haven't been as brave as you apparently.

We're, we're just not committing to the artificial.

We say, no, it's got its place and that place is in the front window deceiving our neighbors about the legitimacy of our Christmas tree.

All right.

Well, as much as we want to talk about straight up Christmas.

Oh, yes.

We're going to be talking about surviving the holidays.

But first support comes from Everince financial helping members invest in what lasts through financial services with impact.

More at everince.com/michyanna securities offered through concourse financial groups, securities incorporated member FINRA S I PC.

We want to wish a happy holidays to our friends at everants who are so gracious to give us the gracious gift of support every year and help make things happen on the show.

Yep.

So to everyone over at the everants offices, branches and everywhere across this great country of ours.

We wish you happy holidays and thank you.

Happy holidays and thank you.

We're in the thankful, the thankful season.

So Andy, hey, speaking of the holidays, Christmas trees and all the things that come along with this time of year.

We want to discuss what it is that we do to maybe not even serve me, not just survive the holiday season, but thrive.

But thrive.

So I was thinking, you know, when I brought this topic up with you, the holidays can be tough.

Not, you know, I've got a good family. You've got a good family, but there's a whole set of things that could happen.

I mean, when you get married, you end up inheriting more family.

You do.

And so that can become an issue because either you don't like your family, your in-laws, or you don't get along with some specific person or just even scheduling.

And for those of you that are listening, if there is a family member you don't particularly like, if you just drop their name in the comments,

we just like to, it's an opportunity for us to talk about.

No, no, no, but there could be a multitude of personalities.

Right.

And with those personalities come potential conflicts or things to navigate.

Is that fair to say?

Yeah. And so, you know, even down to the scheduling, you know, you may get along fine with your family,

but scheduling can even be an issue because again, you know, your mom may want to have Christmas on Christmas and your,

your in-laws may want to have Christmas on Christmas.

And that makes it really hard because you end up trying to do multiple things at once.

And it's just, yeah, sometimes it doesn't work.

So how we're trying to figure, talk a little bit about those, like how to navigate the holidays, both, and not even just family-wise,

but sometimes the holidays can bring up other issues too.

Loss of, you know, family members, loss of jobs, like things like that.

So that can be, that can be a tough, of tough time too.

Yeah. So, Andy, I'm thinking about the early days of, and I wonder how this was for you,

the early days when Jack and I were first married and you're starting to navigate the question of how will we handle the holiday schedule?

Whose house will we go to on what days and when?

And, and I know that was at times a topic of, oh, I don't know, a little bit of conflict or an opportunity for conflict, nevertheless.

And so, I, you know, I proposed to our families a tug of war contest to help decide those things.

It did not, it didn't work.

It didn't go over well. People were not willing to engage in feats of strength in order to determine our schedule.

So, here's what, and I will say this, maybe I've mentioned this before on the show.

Our families are different in terms of how we celebrate certain holidays.

And this goes like, how we do celebrations in general, I think, like everything from birthdays, anniversaries on down the list.

Christmas, the whole deal.

Different approaches to celebrating different levels of perhaps importance placed on different days or how it, however it goes.

So, I think, I think that's one thing that we have to, that you have to address.

I'm, I'm doing, doing premarital counseling for a couple right now.

This, this is a converse, this is a conversation that comes up about who, you know, where will you be?

Have you thought about this? Have you had, where will you be on these dates?

Have you discussed this ahead of time?

It seems to me, Andy, tell me what you think, that setting down, you know, the, the family, like our family, setting down and saying, okay, what is the strategy?

What will be the game plan for this year?

And then communicating that as early out as possible.

Yeah, I think, I think that's key. And sometimes you don't really necessarily know what's going to be happening, but it is good to set down with your calendar as soon as possible to know, okay, these are the times.

And I think what's important is you need to decide for your family, your specific holidays.

So if, if as a couple, you know, so for instance, Julie and I, we need to sit down and go, okay, is there some time during these hours?

During these holiday season that we have something specific that we want to do for our family.

Yeah.

And so, you know, because we have different traditions that we do that we've started, you know, we've been married almost 20 years now.

And so we, we do have specific traditions that are incorporated with our, our family, our immediate family, not necessarily extended family.

And so I think it's important to look at those things and say, okay, this is so actually this is a good, a good thing.

This is something we just actually had to do.

We, we had this season, we decided to go with to my parents' house for Thanksgiving.

We're going to be gone over the Christmas time.

So we decided for Thanksgiving, we're going to go to my parents' house.

We're going to do family Christmas with them and my sister during that time.

Okay.

And, but however, we decided that we were going to, part of our tradition is to eat cinnamon rolls and stuff in the morning on Thanksgiving and watch the Macy's Day Parade.

And, and delightful tradition.

Right.

And so we said, we're going to be doing that.

And then we will come to, to your house.

So it may be noon before we leave because we have things that we're doing.

And, and so that was our tradition.

And so we said, and said, this is what we're doing.

Yeah.

We will be there, but this is our, so I think it's important to sit down and say, as your, as you're planning a year out, prioritize, prioritize your family things first, your local family things first.

And then go ahead and, and then go ahead and do that.

And so our friend Tim, the law actually says, the holidays aren't busy enough for your family.

Do suggest a kitchen renovation on top of everything else going on.

Yeah, absolutely.

And that's true.

Tim is doing that right now.

And perhaps a large scale system.

It's a replacement project at work.

Yes.

Tim's hitting both of the things.

I'm doing that large system replacement at work and Tim's doing the, Tim, the kitchen renovations.

It sounds like you've, you've really, you've really figured out how to bring joy to the holiday season.

Seems, seems like that's the, that's the way to go.

If you, well, you know what, Tim, let's, I think we should have a post holiday party for Tim.

That's what we'll do.

We'll just, we'll host.

He's been really on the comments lately.

Gosh, I love it.

Tim, let's, we're going to send Tim a number one, a number one fan trophy.

I don't have it yet, but I'll send it.

Hey, I'm, yeah.

So making that a prior, making the immediate family priorities, setting that out.

Have there been Andy, I'm wondering things that sort of traditions and priorities that

you set out one of two things.

You set out early on in your relationship with you and Julius, you guys started having kids and all of that, that you had to change kind of midstream or partway through.

Or were there new things that you introduced later, had to like realize you had to introduce later on that you didn't start, that you didn't start off with.

I mean, I think, I think, well, I mean, even just the Thanksgiving thing, I mean, that started fairly early, but especially it was, it was more enunciated after we had, you know, lost, lost our daughter.

Yeah.

It's similar name Macy, Macy's Day Pride.

So it may be seem silly, but that's something that we do.

Yeah.

And so that was something that we added afterwards.

But I think, I mean, in general, like you don't really know as you get married, what's important.

That is, that is hard as you're first married because you do have, you know, you're trying to meld and make your own traditions.

And you're trying to please everybody.

Right.

You're trying to please everything.

But you're trying to meld and traditions that you may have done as a kid that your family had created, but then also things with your wife or spouse and their, you know, their family.

And so you're trying to meld these things together.

And so, yeah, it's really, that can be a stressful time.

And like you said, I think those are things that you need to talk about ahead of time.

And you may not even realize that you're getting into them.

And that's an issue.

Yeah.

Because it's just not something you really think about until you've experienced it.

But I think it's important to go in and say, you know, try to try to realize, you know, your family has expectations.

My family has expectations.

And then we're trying to come up with these own, our own things as families, because it is important to do that.

Yeah.

And so, I mean, yeah, we started out with, with, you know, not really any traditions and some things stick and some things didn't.

But yeah, I mean, I can't think of anything more specific off the top.

What about yourself?

Well, I think, I think some things have evolved over time.

So, because one thing we haven't mentioned here is that when like in the holiday season, holiday travels involved, right?

Oh, right.

And I think I've heard it, I've heard on the news that there's more holiday travel this year.

Like we're breaking holiday travel records this year, which is, which is interesting.

You know, if you're having a travel.

At the earlier, for the first several years of when Jackie and I were married and even just before Jackie and I got married,

Hurston family lived in Cleveland, Cleveland area.

And so we were, you know, Chris, there was a, there was a very big, you know, family Christmas celebration out in Cleveland.

And I think, you know, that was, which was a brand new experience to me because it's a much bigger family than I, than I came from.

And, you know, just a lot of tradition there, a lot of people, a lot of family, a lot of, you know, time connecting there and having to figure out,

okay, if, if that's important, you know, if that's important to those family members, then how, how is my, like, how's my immediate family or, you know, my side,

like, how are we going to, to connect and how are we going to schedule that?

So that's what it came really in.

Important.

The early scheduling was like, okay, here's our work schedules.

Here's the family holiday schedules.

Here's when you guys are available.

Okay.

So we're going to leave, you know, we're leaving for Cleveland on this day.

So it means that, that, you know, we're going to be with you all guys, you know, you all, which my parents usually ended up being like Christmas, you know, Christmas Eve, sometimes Christmas day.

I think about three years ago when we did our first Christmas in San Diego, we were, what was it?

We were at my parents on Christmas day.

I think I'm right about this.

We were at my parents on Christmas day and then I said, we're, excuse me, they're there Christmas Eve through Christmas day left later Christmas evening to the airport and flew out and flew out, which I don't,

I don't know if any of you have traveled on, on Christmas day.

It's, it's not that bad actually.

Like no one's out on the roads and, and it was a pretty, it was a pretty easy travel, travel day strange.

I never thought I would be flying on Christmas day, but we did that.

It was, it was great.

So we've, you know, we've always had to navigate that, but I think what was, what was it, what was good and what we're trying to do this, this year and this year's other complexities because my parents are, my parents are headed out to Colorado for the holidays.

We're, we are also headed, we're also doing stuff out of town.

So we've had to schedule our Christmas with them like in a week, like we're doing like early.

And so, yeah, it's just, it's, it's more conversations, it's more intentionality around, you know, around expectations and how we're handling that and doing all that.

And, and I'll say this, Andy, something I'm really, I'm actually excited about.

I have not mentioned this to you yet.

We've mentioned on this on the show before and kind of part of a new exciting thing in our, in our family.

So on my dad's side of the family.

So a few years ago, we found out that I have a uncle that I did not, did not know about, right?

My uncle Barry.

And so since then, my Jill, my cousin, my newfound cousin and I, we've, we've chatted back and forth and Jill's son just graduated.

Son just graduated from high school this past summer.

So I went to the, I went to the open house and which was really, really cool.

I, and I, I have felt so welcomed and so like it's been a really, really good experience.

And, but like my dad and Barry have not gotten together yet.

Like, we've not met in person yet.

And so Jill reached out to me here just recently and said, hey, like let's get our families together.

Like this holiday season, if we can, if we can, like things are busy, right?

But let's see if we can do it.

So in a couple, let me see here, I get my, get my day straights in a, in a couple of weekends, we're, we're all going to do, we're going to meet up and do a big family dinner together.

And I'm really, really excited about it.

But it is, it's one of those things where it's like, we're, we're, we're, we're coordinating this, this get together.

And I'm not, I don't know what I, I don't, I think it's going to be great.

It'll be really, really good.

It's just, it's just one of, one more of those things where, you know, we're, we're bringing another, another moving piece.

Right.

Coordinating with, coordinating with new family members that we have not coordinated with before.

Sure.

So that's a, that's a new thing.

And, you know, I'm really hopeful that there's some, I think it'd be great if there was some new family tradition that, you know, you talk about introducing a new tradition.

Because, you know, it seems reasonable that when you find out that you have new family members that start a new tradition, maybe a new tradition would start.

And we would find a way, you know, and whether it's now or, or at some point that we would be, you know, connecting more regularly.

So I really, I'm really hopeful for that.

I'm really excited.

So yeah, just a few weeks here, we're going to be, well, that's awesome.

Getting all of us together.

I think it's going to be something near 20 of us all hanging that together.

And I'm really looking forward to it.

So yeah.

So now talking a little bit about, about not just trying to navigate schedules because that can be, that can be obviously a big thing.

It can cause fights, right?

I mean, it can.

Yes.

And fights can be happening because you're getting together with family, which you may or may not get along with, you know, you may have sisters and brothers that you grew up with.

But now that you're not in the same household, you have different views, whether it be religiously or politically.

Those are the two big things, right?

I mean, those are the things that are going to start fights.

And who doesn't love to talk about those things?

A religious political fight, right?

And so like those are things that can be brought up.

So how do we navigate trying to get along with our siblings or aunts and uncles or things that are going to be people that are going to be with us during these holidays without causing huge giant fights and everyone leaving mad and give any tips for that?

Well, so here's my question, I think.

If our first interaction with that person, I think this is where it gets tough, right?

In the busy schedule that we have today, if our first interactions are there in that context, that holiday gathering context where we haven't sort of primed the relational pump a little bit ahead of time, I think that's where we're kind of inviting, you know, inviting, oh, how shall I say?

Just yeah, we're inviting unpleasant, unpleasant experiences into our gatherings.

So I guess you knew you mentioned priming the pump.

Yes.

How do you do that?

So are there ways that you can, whether it's throughout the year or leading into the holiday season, reach out to family members, send send cards and some a greeting for maybe for Thanksgiving or an early Christmas, an early Christmas card or things, things like that.

Let people know that you're glad that you're going to be able to spend time with them, that you're entering into that experience, that interaction with them with a sense of hopefulness versus what I think can be the case.

It's like, oh, geez, Uncle Ted's going to be there.

And last time the guy would not shut up about his new girlfriend.

And we all, you know, or whatever.

We almost strangled his new girlfriend.

Oh, what a, you know, is there, and then if that's just, if that's all that's in front of you and you're just like dreading the day, right?

Uncle Ted, if he's, you know, somewhat self aware or aware of the situation, it's going to pick up on your, it's going to pick up on some of your bad, your bad vibes, some somehow.

And I think you have the opportunity to at least, at least ahead of time in some way, shape or form.

We have social media, obviously we have, you can send a card, you can send a text, whatever it is.

Just to send, send them something from Amazon.

Perfect.

A nice gift.

And to do something a little proactively that, yeah, that just, that just maybe kind of, it greases the gears a little bit relationally ahead of time.

And so that you're entering into that, that season, that experience with a little bit of good, a little bit of goodwill.

I'm on top of that.

Okay.

You, you don't have to prove your rightness about a particular topic or, or whatever it is at a holiday, at a holiday gathering.

Right.

And sometimes I don't think, sometimes I think that you are, cannot necessarily avoid that.

I mean, by that, I mean, you may not be the one bringing it up.

They're bringing it up to you or they're bringing it to somebody else.

Like when Uncle Ted goes like, so Andy, tell me, what do you think about Palestine?

Right.

I mean, those are one of those things you're like, all right.

It's, it's, it's for real.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean, but, but yeah, so those things you can't necessarily avoid, but I think some of the things that you can do is just kind of be aware of when topics may be going down that place that you are not comfortable with.

Yeah.

And usually there's places you know, you can excuse yourself around, you can be like, Hey, like I'm going to real quickly be helping clean the dishes up or.

I need some of that gas station cheese.

Right.

Or a green bean casserole.

Right.

Yeah.

Who doesn't want green bean casserole, but.

Let's hear it for green bean casserole.

But I mean, you can, you can be aware of the conversations that are happening, especially if this is not the first time that these are going to happen.

Yeah.

When you know those people in your group, right, that are going to come and there's probably going to be strife between the two of you or you and somebody else or they are somebody else.

So you know this in the past.

And it's not like, Oh, Uncle Ted just came and he's never fought before, but he's going to start bringing up fights.

Right.

Like he's Uncle Ted is sorry, Ted, Uncle Ted, we're picking on you.

Yeah.

If all the Ted's out there, we're sure you're, you're non contentious people and this was just the name that I picked.

So sorry.

But you know, we know that Uncle Ted is going to be, is going to be a fighter.

And so we're going to go ahead and maybe make sure that we're not in a room alone with him.

Or if there's a conversation going on with Ted, that there are other people that you could turn and just have a conversation and not make it awkward.

But you know, if you're in a big group, you could turn and say, so Sally, you know, how's how's the kids hopefully you're not bringing up something that's going to have two fights going on.

Right.

But yeah, yeah, those are things you can be aware of.

But a little bit of again, a little bit of planning, a little bit of a little bit of strategy ahead of time goes that can go a long way and all of those things.

And also just recognizing on top of this, we were talking about family relational things, you know, there's also, there's also can be can be sadness and loss and right in this time here.

You're reminded of the person that's not at the table with you, you know, that that has its own emotions and its own particular conflict.

I know, you know, for us.

So for my family, when Jackie's grandma James passed away, that was sort of the transition.

I think everyone understood this and I because I had asked about it had time like, what will Christmas look like?

And it was kind of a transition point in what Christmas looked like where, you know, the grandma James and her kids and then their families, we all came together.

Well, now those families have gotten bigger because the the cousins are now adults and have kids and families of their own.

And so things have kind of they've reformed, you know, after years of after years of transition.

And, you know, there was a there was a definitely a sense of grief and a loss over that.

And yet it was just kind of a natural, it was a natural thing that happened.

I think it was done in a pretty I mean, from my perspective was done in a pretty healthy way.

And now I'll say like, as as stressed out as I sometimes felt about kind of the whole like as specifically as all of our kids got older and everything it meant of like,

getting all of them together and tracking out there and like trying to manage all of those kids and being in the small house and being feeling kind of nervous about all that stuff like all those kids at grandma's house and all of that.

Like, I will say, I like there's a definitely an element of every Christmas.

I really miss I really miss part of that.

No, you know, and I and I and I was just I'm a I'm an in line Mary. I married into that experience.

I think for for Jackie and her cousins who did that since they were young kids, I, you know, I can only imagine.

I think that's that was a significant change.

So there's some there's some sort of version of that for, you know, the holidays easily mark reminders for us of like things are not the same as they were previously.

Sure. And you're kind of reminded of that and you reflect on that each year.

And some of your traditions can change during that time.

You can there, you know, if you're used to going to grandma's house and grandma can no longer do that or, you know, there's a loss of that, even if Graham was still around.

Right. Yeah.

There's still a loss and a grieving of of the ability for grandma to not be able to do the big giant party at her house where she used to.

Or if she's gone, those things may look different.

You know, you may end up having to go into the cemetery and visit visiting grandma's grave on Christmas or, you know, it just may look different than it did before.

And so there's always, yeah, grief is a tough one too, because grief changes holidays.

I mean, grief changes everything. Right.

Yeah. And so those are, yeah, that's something that you need.

And you may not even realize that it's going to happen.

I mean, that's one of the things with grief, right? It usually hits at the least expected part.

Yeah. There'll be some, there'll be something in the holiday process and experience that will trigger a memory will trigger it will trigger a thing.

Right. And it's not something that you can even usually prepare for, because usually you don't know that that's coming.

Yeah. That's coming. And so, yeah, it's just, it's something that's going to change.

It could change your thing. And then not only that, but you have to deal with the fact that everyone's grief is different.

And so if you're getting together for the holidays, you may, you may be having a tough time or and your sister may not or your sister may be and you may not.

So there's a thing that you need to be aware of and you need to be conscious, conscious of as you're navigating these holidays, because it's something that you don't know what it's going to strike.

Grief strikes at any time. But at the same time, you need to like, yeah, be prepared for that and also give people their space and their, what they need to be.

Because, you know, it may be that all of a sudden you look in Susie's no longer at the house, she may be standing outside because she can't deal with the conversation that came up that you may not even be knowing about.

Right.

Because she may have been dealing with grief.

Yeah. So Andy, let me ask you this. As you guys are getting ready and anticipating all of your holiday things and we're thinking about and anticipating ours.

What are you looking forward to most between now and in the new year?

Oh, that's good. I don't know. I think at the older I get, the more for me emotion I get about Christmas in general. And I think part of that is due to the loss of my daughter and knowing that I'm thankful for Christ coming and providing a way so we can be in heaven.

And part of that is just me getting older and realizing like the grand, well, I mean the grandeur of Christmas and like what it actually is all about.

Yeah.

And so, yeah, that's for me. How about you?

Yeah, I think if I'm real honest, number one, I'm enjoying, I'm looking forward to celebrating Christmas and the holidays.

Like as far as like a church service experience is concerned where I get to go and I have zero responsibility for making any of it happen.

So that's a little bit of my like a little bit of my pastor.

Sure.

Like I really want, I'm really trying to, and this is something I want to, I'm just, I'm trying to invite my family into what I want. This is, now that we've gotten through Thanksgiving, it's probably the next kind of one of my intentional family conversations is like,

like, I do really want to find, find rest in this Christmas season.

I think just as you put it, I think to really keep the main thing the main thing.

I, you know, I were,

you know, Jackie and I have lots of conversations about, again, it's a logistics conversation. It takes, you know, about like the gifts and things like that. And we're, because we're celebrating this year, we're celebrating Christmas away from our home.

Like we've got to ship some things, places or have them delivered elsewhere or whatever and all this, you know, and not a, not a super big deal, but I within within myself and it's a challenge for myself of really just saying like, okay, if we do all of this,

and, and my, my children are not crystal clear on the fact that this, that this is ultimately a celebration about, you know, the greatest gift that we could be given.

Right.

Then we, then we missed it.

Right.

And yeah, I hear you, Andy, it's like, I'm, I'm a deal, the older, right, the older I get, I, it really does like I'm, I'm trying to slow.

I'm trying to slow all of this down. Right. And, and I think, like, I just cannot, I cannot believe another year has gone, like another year has gone by.

It seems like really just yesterday we were putting the tree up. Right. I mean, I have, like, I have, I have, it seems like my memories of each Christmas, strangely enough, are like more, like, yes, or more vivid, like my memory about the previous holiday is more vivid.

Because it's just, it's just like, we just did this. And, you know, I don't know. For those of you that listen to the show, you know, I'm, I quickly approaching 40, like this is, this is my, this is my other, other thing that's in the background.

You're getting old.

Yeah. Right. It's, we're going to cross that threshold. And, you know, I just look at that and go, man, how did I personally get here so, so quick?

You know, Andy and I talk all about where I'm going to have just not too long here. You know, Aaron just turned, just turned 14.

Just I is going to be 13 here soon. Like I now tune teenagers and we're looking at, you know, you've crossed this threshold. I'm looking at high school next year.

I had this thought of like, we're going to be looking for a car for Aaron in like a year. Like, like, I don't know.

This particular one, this particular, this particular holiday season and Christmas, it's like, it's getting it.

It started getting me, but, but all of that to say, like, I want to, like just keeping the main thing and having the conversation about, about the main thing.

And that's what I would hope for any of you listening. That would be my hope and my prayer for you, like whatever this holiday, wherever you're going.

I mean, we don't talk about planning, wherever you're going, wherever you're traveling, whoever you're spending time with, I hope you find yourself.

Yeah. In remembering the story, remember the story, remember the original story of why we're doing any of this in the first place, right?

And, and that would be something that would, yeah, I would, I would just love, I would love to know and it's maybe some way that you guys can interact with us.

Like, I would love to see how you're remembering Christmas in light of, in light of Jesus.

Yeah. Yeah. That would be, that would be super cool. We'd love to see that and hear that story.

Let us know. Definitely send us a message on Instagram, on Facebook, Twitter.

Yeah. And whether that's like, you know, a church service or what you're doing, things you do as a family.

I know some, some families read, you know, read the, the, from the Gospel of Luke and, you know, read the Nativity story, all of that.

But just, I mean, I would say like, that is, you want to make an investment in your kids, you want to make the holiday like kind of like have intentional markers down in the holiday season.

I think that's, that's the way to go. That's the way to go. That's, that's something that you can do.

And I'm going to, I'm going to do my best. I know you guys will too, to, to have that front and center.

But yeah, just to, to rest in this season and all the rest and Christmas and the holidays.

Don't always. Yeah. Those words feel like they don't go together, but especially if you're like our friend, Tim, who's doing a kitchen renovation.

God bless you.

So that's the end of this episode, but we are, we normally do, we rest as dudes and dads podcast or the Christmas holiday.

So we may have one more episode here before the beginning of the year, but we do usually take December off.

And we usually put something out on the social, we'll do, you know, something on the social medias.

But if you don't see an episode from us, it's not that we're gone. We're not dead.

We just usually take Christmas off so that way we can focus on our families and what's important.

Not that you're not important, but you are. You are very important.

Just not as important.

But no, but we, so that we can focus on our, on our family and Christmas and things.

So we, we look forward to when, when we come back.

Yeah. And is it going to be season six for us?

It will be season six.

Golly Pete. So that you want to talk about time flying guys. That's how it happens right there.

Golly. Hey, as always, you can head over to dudesanddadspodcast.com for all episodes, both past, present, but not future.

The show notes and all the goodies over there.

And you can follow us on Instagram.

Nice.

Facebook.

Yes.

And X. I'm going to say X.

Atta boy.

We're going to make the transition.

Dudes and dads podcast@gmail.com is a great place to send us emails, suggestions for future shows, all of your commentary.

We love it. We thank you for it.

And, uh, hey, make sure you jump over on the iTunes, the Apple podcast.

Why do I keep saying that Apple podcasts, Spotify, like share.

It's helpful.

It is.

Okay.

Until next time.

We wish you grace and peace.

Yeah.

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