He got to the part in his pitch where he asked for the investment and they just laughed. When he spoke to his team afterwards, one of them said did you go in dressed like that?

Whether it's seeking investments, a date, respect, a job or something else, how we look affects how others see us and with a little awareness and effort, we can make sure we're putting our best Gucci loafer forward.

My guest Joseph Rosenfeld is a style advisor with years of experience in image consulting and personal branding. Modern Luxury Silicon Valley named him 'Best Personal Stylist' in 2020 and 2021. He's on a mission to help you maximise the power of your presence from the inside out and from head to toe.

In this episode:

• Joseph's unusual influence and persuasion role model
• Why appearance is the key to mastering your presence
• How appearance is the prism people filter your gravitas from
• Why personal style saved Joseph's life
• How to get style right
• How many get it wrong
• The 3-part method to create a precise personal style

and more.

Visit JosephRosenfeld.com for more information about Joseph.

Remember to get your brand score from BrandFaceScore.com

Did you enjoy the show? Did you learn anything new or useful? If you did, then the best way to show your appreciation is by sharing the show to your online network. Tag me and I'll give you a shout out on an upcoming episode. Leave a review and I'll read it out on the show.

Of course, if you REALLY liked it, you're welcome to support the show financially too using the link below.

Support the show (https://speakinginfluence.supercast.tech/)

Mentioned in this episode:

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Welcome to the show.

My name's Johnny Ball.

This is speaking influence the show where we delve into the world of

influence and persuasion to help you develop your influence and build

authority in your industry and develop and master the skills of ethical

influence and persuasion to become a powerfully persuasive communicator.

We have had all kinds of guests on the show from people talking about

the psychology of influence and persuasion, talking about marketing.

Recently, we've been talking about branding and storytelling and so many

other things besides, that this is going to be a bit of a first on today's show

where we are talking about style now.

Maybe not complete fast.

We did have an episode a while back with Shelly Golden.

She was wonderful talking really about how to look good on Zoom, and that was great.

This is really talking about influence and style with somebody who has been

styling people in Silicon Valley, the tech startup entrepreneurs, the nerdy

geeky kind of guys who in his own profile,

and he says may struggle to be seen or taken seriously, they may have no

clue about how to dress themselves or have any kind of gravitas to their

looks, and sometimes may even struggle to get dates or even to get laid.

And it's understandable then that working with somebody on your personal

style and how you look can make a huge difference to how you are perceived

and therefore to your own ability to be able to influence and persuade.

These are the kinds of things that we get into on today's show.

Joseph Rosenfeld is a professional stylist

who has worked with many tech entrepreneurs and CEOs

and incredibly successful people to help them develop their own personal style.

He knows what he's talking about.

I connected with Joseph in a Clubhouse room.

Yes, clubhouse is still going, it's still happening and it can be

a great place to connect with and have conversations with people who

you may otherwise not get to meet.

That was how I met Dan French, who was on my episode, 100, professor in rhetoric.

I think you're going to enjoy this conversation.

I did a, it was fascinating for me really insightful, and I don't think I've ever

really heard anyone else talking about the style of influence and persuasion before.

So, hopefully it's a fairly unique conversation that

you get to listen to today.

So, i'm just going to leave it to you to enjoy the show

Welcome to Speaking Influence.

The show that helps you to master the psychology and application

of ethical influence and persuasion, in life and business.

With persuasive presentations and podcasting coach, Johnny Ball.

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a simple online ecosystem for your business where you can create funnels,

build an integrated website, sell and host courses and live programs, build

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solution for your business today.

Welcome to Speaking Influence today.

I've made a little bit more of an effort with my appearance

than I might otherwise do.

I've brushed my hair and my beard and everything because I am speaking to a

style advisor, someone who I've been really looking forward to speaking,

we actually connected on Clubhouse a while back, and I was just really

fascinated by his profile and pestered him and asked him to come on the show.

And he finally agreed.

And so I'm very happy to be welcoming Joseph Rosenfeld to the show.

Thank you so much for having me.

It's great to be with you Johnny.

Joseph, one of the things that I've been most looking forward

to discussing, which I have never really discussed on the show before

is going to be around influence and persuasion and the looks of influence

and persuasion, style and impact of that.

Before we get to into all of that, though, I'd like to know for you,

who is somebody who you particularly, maybe look up to respect and admire for

that influence and persuasion and for what they've done with that, and why?

This will probably be an unusual answer coming from me

if you don't know me, but for people who are listening and watching who do

this will not come as any surprise.

That person to me is Stevie Nicks, the singer songwriter,

and front woman of Fleetwood Mac.

Her music saved my life as a child.

And when, so that's already, you know, like significant influence, if you can

say that about another human being thing is way before anyone started talking

about personal branding, I actually was studying her as a kid into my teenage

years and throughout her life, my life.

And what I think is so fascinating is she looks like she sounds, and

she looks like, she sounds like she sings and like she writes, so

there's the lyrics or the poetry,

there is how she sounds when she sings it, there's the intonation,

there's the where she holds tone.

And then there's this whole thing about how she looks.

And when you listen to the music where you see her in concert, or you look

at her on a music video or in some other kind of performance, like a TV

performance, the way she behaves, the way she shows up, creates a feeling.

I call it an aura in her case.

I, as the onlooker and the listener am taking all of this in, and I am treated to

an entire experience that comes from her.

She's probably the greatest teacher about image and branding that I've ever had.

And that's kind of an unusual example.

But someone that I could really study and follow and see evolution and at

the same time, some kind of constancy and consistency about her over time.

Yeah.

it's not an answer I would have expected, but the way you explained

it completely makes sense.

And so, so that comes across very well and probably is a testament to her

really knowing herself that well, to be able to come through, like for her

personality and her authenticity to shine through in every aspect of what

she does, how she looks, how she sings, how she writes all of those things.

That is a very powerful thing.

So in terms of influence and persuasion, knowing yourself and having that come

through and communicated through all those aspects, that's incredibly powerful.

So a great example.

Thank you for sharing that.

Wonderful.

I think it's important for us to have a bit of a foundation here in terms

of understanding what it is that you do, because you help a very particular

group of people with their fashion, with their style and their image.

And so maybe in this case, I don't always ask people for full information about

what they did, but in this case, I really want to dive into that a little bit,

because this is one of the things that made me really want to to speak to you.

I appreciate that.

It's nice to be stood out as someone who's a little different in that regard,

you know, everybody gets dressed.

The question is, are we all paying attention to how we look in, in

terms of how we use our minds and how we use our own likeness to

communicate with other people.

And so it's kind of ironic.

You are dressed a certain way today and in a way, we're kind of mirroring

each other, even with our colors.

I don't know.

It was like I was having a little kind of empathic sense of how I wanted to

show up for you, because I know you on some level and have a sense that

you would show up looking as you do.

And so we're both in plaid and I've even got a little rust color going on.

That was like a last minute detail that I decided to do.

And that kind of sensitivity is exactly the kind of work that, that I do as an

image consultant and personal stylist.

Yes.

I wear fashionable clothes and yes, I promote the idea of wearing

current fashion for all my clientele.

Fashion

isn't what I lead with.

Clothes are just tools in the toolbox to help us put on what we need to create

more of a mood and more of a focus for ourselves so that we're able to better

serve the needs of people around us.

And that could be professionally, that could be in your family.

And that could be in your community.

So I'm very interested in understanding who an individual is.

And I have a process for doing that, where I study things around a person's

coloring, not just the physical coloring that I call color DNA.

Like the color of your eyes, your body red, your slash hemoglobin the whites

of your eyes and teeth, the color or colors of your hair, all of that.

But there are all the other colors that you can wear that

support your whole energy.

And I love studying a person through the uniqueness of their own color

palette and understanding more about who a person is at their essence.

And then I also love to study by a mind map, essentially, what a

person's personal style is on the basis of how a person identifies

with their own personality, qualities, traits, and characteristics, and

how they envision that they would like to grow and develop further.

So it's not merely a snapshot of, I am statements that are in the present moment.

They are, I want to be, or I need to be more statements

that address the future self.

Then what I love to do is take the current fashion, see it as being on the leading

edge of the future, and then helping somebody to not see current fashion as a

trend, but as a signature of the self that marries the now and the later and putting

all of that into now so that a person can achieve can have the look that they are

on the verge of achieving the success that they envisioned for themselves

and that they can do that right now.

That's a very powerful thing.

And what first really, really made me want to reach out to you was

seeing your clubhouse profile.

I mean, you were speaking in a clubhouse room.

I think it was with Bob Burg.

The the guy from I'm forgetting what his, his stuff is called now.

Go Giver a, yeah.

So it was in a room with him and he was speaking in the room and I checked out

your profiles, like, oh, So interesting.

And, and there was a lot of fun in how you describe yourself as well.

It was certainly your character came through in your profile.

I think a lot of people find that I see a lot of profiles

where there's no real character.

There it's just a description, but you had some funds and characters, some

personality coming through in that as well about what you do and who you

help, particularly in round working with people in a Silicon valley, kind of

area and people who might be discarded otherwise as geeks or nerds who

struggle with style and the major maybe will struggle with things like

getting dates and stuff like that.

And these are particularly people who you often work with and help too.

That's absolutely true.

And it's a wonderful working with these kinds of folks.

Because in a way they emancipated me from being someone who had

a very good career in high-end retail in my Chicago days, which is

where I began all of this journey.

And I was always pretty geeky myself and working with fellow

geeks really helped me to geek out.

Lots of times people are really interested in the bottom line result, geeks are not

necessarily any different about that, but they're so interested in the process.

And so even when I'm, you know, close to or about to onboard new clients, they

always want to know how does this work?

It's like they want a little pre work proof that the process is solid.

And that even if the process is that I will do a lot of this work for you

and I will hold your hand and I will make it feel safe and comfortable

for you to evolve your look, they all want to know about the process.

And I'm very much about the process as an experience, as a journey to take that

it can be Presto Changeux.

But also people want to be able to go through what that experience is like.

And I like to be able to work at the pace of my client, not at the

speed of light that I can work at because I'm in my zone of genius.

Right.

So it's pretty cool working with folks like that, who you think also with geeks,

especially in the technology sector, that their brains are also functioning

at a very high and fast level because they're also in their zone of genius.

So it's interesting to see them fall back away from that because when they

come to me for help and guidance, it is because they are not so strong

in this area, but I can teach them how, and then they loved that part.

In the end, the point I want to make about this Johnny is that it's one thing to buy

a wardrobe of clothes, but it's another to own the look because when you buy the

clothes and they hang in the closet, you go to put them on knowing how to put them

together, how to put pieces of clothes together to make an outfit, and then to

be able to walk out of your house and to go to a meeting or to sit down on a

zoom call or you know, whatever being able to do that with ease and confidence

is what every human being deserves.

And most people really do dream of that.

It's a real deep desire.

Yeah.

It's to say it can be a very transformational experience, not just

in how people live, but of course it can definitely affect how people feel,

their own confidence and probably more things besides, and I wonder what you

mainly notice in the transformation that you tend to see with your clients?

Do you see there?

It's not just having a look too, but what you really see as being

the main difference that they experience working with you?

I find that people have more gravitas overall, which is

one of my favorite things to talk about.

Which really means that when they show up for other people and even for themselves,

that they take themselves seriously in the moment, even when the moment is

about having fun is about socializing is about going out on dates going out

with a spouse on a date night out.

All of that is about really having respect for the moment, which

I think is an extension of what gravitas is really all about.

But I also think is very important through all of this

is that this is an environment.

What we each wear is an environment.

And if all the thinking that we do and all the creating that we do emanates

from within the container of the body, I think that fashioning the container

of the body with amazing looking style

helps a person to show up for all of these moments and they

get more out of life as a result.

So I have worked with executives who were in the C-suite, who wanted

to elevate up and up and up and up.

And while doing that, we're also interested in developing their leadership

profile, in building the company

and making more money for the company and, you know, serving the stockholders

and the employees and all of that.

And certainly of course, about self-enrichment.

So I've seen that happen.

I've seen people go from being single and not feeling good about going

out on dates to becoming engaged and getting married to people who they

Didn't even know before they started working with me and to in short order

felt transformed and confident enough to be able to make those approaches.

I've have several clients who've gotten married under my watch.

And one even asked me to officiate their wedding.

Oh, wow.

There are a lot of, you know, I've seen a lot of different

things over, over all the years of my work, and I've certainly helped people

who felt like they should lose weight, but really needed to earn a living,

not wait to lose the weight before they were ready to absolutely go after

what they really wanted to do and what they needed was confidence in

themselves, and a way of being able to look at themselves in a way where they

felt self-contained where they felt

self-controlled and how that could turn around for other people and say, yeah,

I really want to do business with you.

That's fantastic.

I mean, you really are helping people to dress for success in a very real way.

It is not just a by the book statement and I've taken that

idea a little bit further to tell my clients dress for the life you want.

Not for the life you have, because.

In today's day and age, most of us are working wonky, crazy hours.

Our work life and our personal life becomes so intermixed or socializing with

people that we associate in business.

And yet we also, and we hopefully are doing these things

because it's all enjoyable.

It's not transactional.

It's about creating relationships with people.

And sometimes I have even found quite frankly, that some of the most

transactional people I know get into having better relationships and it

creates greater balance in life because the relationship creates the transaction.

To me, it makes a lot of sense in a lot of the work that I've done over

years of coaching and training, that the journeys of personal transformation

that I've worked on with clients over that time, a lot of it's about

stepping into who they really want to become, not waiting until this is

there or that's there, but being there.

And you've alluded to that already, that you are helping people dress for that.

And I think that is a big part of it because looking the part is is a big deal.

It's important to us.

We are generally very visual people.

If you look that and you feel that in yourself, then that is pushing you really

to elevate yourself to step your game up and to show up as that kind of person

who you already want to be to actually be that, not like faking it, but actually

elevating yourself to live up to that.

Yes, of course.

And think about this.

Some things that I'm working on now are I'm working with trial teams to

help them tip the scale at trial, in their favor ethically by helping

people show up to address a jury in a courtroom, a judge in a courtroom.

It could be for a hearing that happens before trial could be for

a deposition even before trial.

Some kind of potential settlement negotiation before trial.

And then if things do get to trial and they are in front of

the jury, All things being equal.

If you've got, a set of hot shot lawyers on one side and a set of

hot shot lawyers on another side.

Hot shot meaning they're a high profile, very smart well-educated

top of their game, who is showing up and basically looking more relatable

to the story that they need to tell

at the time of whatever these meetings or encounters are either outside or

inside of a courtroom, we're always so even for the non-lawyers, well, all

of us are, you know, telling stories.

The stakes are super high in the case of these corporate trials

that I get involved in now.

And I want people to be able to tell

the best story that they can, because it's absolutely part of how they

best prosecute the case or defend themselves against an accusation that

they feel they can prove otherwise.

So all of us are in the position of not necessarily prosecuting

or defending ourselves.

Okay.

Even when we want to support another human being, to be able to show

up and be supportive of a person, requires a certain kind of a look.

As a leader, to be able to demonstrate a certain kind of confidence in the

team or in one's own self, as the leader pay attention, to me requires a certain

kind of a look someone who is running some other kind of an organization,

maybe a service organization needs to show up yet a different kind of

way, all different scenarios require

that we be true and genuine, authentic to ourselves, whatever word you like.

And that's a little series of ideas.

And yet you can't be you and ignore the audience or your

purpose for being in front of them.

Right.

All of that comes into play.

You mentioned one of my favorite words earlier, which is gravitas.

And I can certainly understand how you look has an impact on your gravitas

on people taking you seriously on being able to command the room

and command respect from people.

How do you start that journey with somebody or maybe they

feel like they don't have that.

They may be identifying as geeky and nerdy and not feeling that they have the

respect to people that people just look at them and maybe think like, you're just

a, you're just a nerd, you're just a geek, how do you start that journey with them?

Well, as I mentioned by doing my profile sessions

around color and style, I get to learn a lot about a person because

they're teaching me one part of it.

I'm really doing a lot of the studying because most people

have trouble with color.

If I ask a series of people to tell me what color eyes they have, oftentimes

most of the people in that sample grouping will be incorrect.

So I use what I see with my vision to know somebody from that level, but when

it comes to personality, I don't want to judge or even evaluate with my own eyes.

What I observe about somebody, because not only may I be wrong.

the way that that person presents themselves to me and the way

they are, therefore presenting themselves to the world, writ large

may very well be incorrect because they don't know any better yet.

So when I study a person and they teach me who they say they are and who

they want to be, we're on the honor system, the honor that they are teaching

me what they know about themselves.

Without any interference as best they can.

And then for me to honor what they tell me about themselves.

And so when I learn that and I'm listening to someone, I hear their

voice, I listen to their vocabulary.

I have a deeper sense of understanding of who a person is.

When I then go out and say, okay, here is a set of clothing, that is

for the purpose that you engage me.

Whether it's a trial or someone is elevating positions or are going out

on dates or whatever the situation is, I then want them to try things on and

tell me how they are embodying the look.

And I have with this process, a very precise way of selecting almost well, it's

over 95% accurate what people should have on their bodies that help them communicate

to themselves and to other people.

And I think in the end that communicates gravitas to that

to the, where to my client.

And it also really helps the people around them see that they put

intentionality in that they put some kind of effort in to how they're showing up.

So when they're thinking about how they want to portray themselves, And

they're even thinking, well, what is this conversation going to be like,

what is this meeting going to be like, what would I like to put into it?

What would I like to get out of it?

So it's a win-win for that person, and the others involved that to

me, shows a sense of deference that shows a sense of respect.

And it shows a sense of, again, that intentionality puts people, the person,

the individual that I'm working with in the position of really thinking in

terms of outcomes and that speaks to what gravitas really is overall makes a

person feel good about what they're doing.

you're an expert in what you do and you've been doing it for some time.

Do you find that you have some natural intuition towards this, or do you try and

suppress that and go through this process so that you don't perhaps bias your ideas

into the, into what they really want?

That.

Yeah I don't like to bias myself.

In fact, there's a reason why I do my color profile before I do the style

profile, because the style profile could bias my eyes if I realize, oh,

they belong to, you know, this look or this look or this look, which I

know has to do with a certain range or ranges of different kinds of color.

I start out organically and let that happen and then let them do

the next part second and everything always reconciles beautifully.

I've never had something that was discordant.

And that speaks to your topic around bias or your question around bias

because I really don't want to prejudge anybody, even though I have

absolutely in natural intuition that after over 30 years of working with

folks on their personal style and image and dressing them means that I would

be foolish to think that I know at all.

I only know that the more I keep working, the more I keep learning.

I let my clients be the teacher often.

And I get to be the humble student who studies them because there's only one

them, there's only one that person.

And I want to really Revere and respect their individuality so that I

can help them properly strategize the way they should visually communicate.

But that certainly makes for a very unique experience.

Then each time that you work with somebody with really nothing being

prescriptive is like, they are guiding you to where you go with them.

And so what kind of recommendations that you have for them?

So I definitely like the sound of that.

I do wonder there are, are there some particular style points in

your mind that do reflect back gravitas that we talked about?

if a person should show up wearing tailored clothing,

like a suit or a sport coat, even knowing whether a sport coat for a

guy and a pair of slacks is the right look versus a suit that matters.

The shape of the lapel could even matter, but that's based on a person's

personality to my way of seeing it.

For ladies,

I . Think if a woman feels really good in a dress and yet maybe she is also in

what is still considered, unfortunately, somewhat a man's world or a man's role.

I wouldn't necessarily want her to show up, trying to look

like a dude in the suiting.

If what really suits her best is a dress.

Sometimes the level of formality has to switch to meet one's own needs, right?

Because every one of us has to have our needs met.

And we have to be able to show up in this right way for the role

that we're playing at that time.

I hope that that's a good answer.

Yeah, I think so.

I was just thinking that I used to be cabin crew for an airline and most

of the time that I was cabin crew, I would work in the first class cabin.

And you would often see particular.

Particular ways of dressing and also some in particular ways that people

would hold themselves, you would nearly always get in that sense.

I mean, obviously with celebrities, you already know who they are, but that

you would nearly always get that sense.

And you would know straight away if somebody was in first class,

he wasn't used to being there.

And, and those sorts of things, you would, you would see that.

So you do pick up on those things, but I do think we are very

visual people.

And we do tend to make judgements very quickly on people based on how

they look and what we interpret, what perhaps are the, if we don't, if

we're a bit clueless on this, like, I consider myself to be completely

clueless on fashion, but I'm also not particularly in, into this as well.

It's not something I've spent that much time on.

I just try to pick stuff up that I like.

But if I were wanting to increase my own level of gravitas or for

anyone who may be listening to this.

Well, where could I start?

That would help me to turn things up to a high level.

If you could do nothing more than take the true

body coloring that you have on your head, your hair, your eye color.

And if you have multi-tone hair, like you have it in your beard as do I by the way.

And even if you can tell that your eyes might be able to twist in

color a little bit, some people with blue eyes can actually

pivot them into something a little bit green.

When you hold up something turquoise or something in that neighborhood

of color can also manipulate the eye to become a little bit greener.

If you do a little bit of testing around like that, and you repeat those exact

types of colors on your physical body,

you're automatically creating a kind of elegance even without having

to put on formal looking clothes.

The other thing I would say is that if you really want to look a little bit more

polished avoid wearing so much pattern and go into things that are more solid.

And if you want to look a little bit softer while you

do that, choose one accessory.

Try to keep things to a minimum where you create a focal point where the

objective is that the focal point really comes back up to your face.

All of this creates a kind of visual balance that onlookers are striving for.

And that kind of visual balance creates a look of attraction.

And I don't mean hot,

sexy attraction it's that there can be this sense of stylish attraction that

creates curiosity in the onlooker if in the onlookers eyes, so that when

they are gazing upon you, they're kind of interested and curious about you.

And you showing up using your own physical likeness to create a pallet of color,

if you will can help you to show up in a way that is natural to who you are and

that people are already tapping into.

I have to say it like this.

Johnny people have a sense of feeling about us based on the way we look, call

it a judgment in evaluation, any of that.

People have a feeling that flows through us faster than the fluency

that we might have to understand it.

So we are all living in society.

We are all creatures of learning about things like color psychology, but most

of us don't have the fluent language that I have to be able to describe

what a person is sensing what a person is feeling when they see color.

What I'm saying is that when you put on in your case, maybe a gray,

because you've got gray in your hair, you've got gray in your beard.

You're showing up to somebody as someone who is a quiet listener,

that wants to like absorb and learn and you are kind of that way.

And so what I'm saying is people who know you well already know that about you.

And so you're really branding your apparel, your style

to who you actually are.

There's nothing discordant there.

And then what that does is it creates more believability it reverberates

into the people that you're hanging out with and they might have to get at

you a little bit to say, Hey, can can you add something to this conversation?

And that's a really wonderful way for people to recognize you, but they

don't necessarily know with fluency of language, why that's happening.

They have a feeling that's faster than that fluency, and that is how

color and style play roles in our lives that are like super important.

Yeah.

Now I know you can't really discuss who your clients are that you work with.

Probably for obvious reasons.

They may not appreciate it, but.

I wonder from you, if we can get maybe a sense of some of the people

who are maybe in public life, who you see getting it right.

May have male and female alike in terms of their style and

their, the gravitas with that.

As a female example, I think Christine Lagarde does an

incredibly great job with her style.

And I think that she shows up with pitch perfect gravitas in her role.

I have great respect for how she shows up and how she shows not

just great impeccable style, but a kind of deference for other global

leaders with whom she meets and for citizens of the European union who,

her work impacts on a daily basis.

And so I think that she does very well.

I think that Jeff Bezos also shows up very well from a male's perspective.

He's worked a lot on his body over the years.

He's definitely buffed up and seems to me he really fancies a lot of Brunello

Cucinelli although not exclusively.

And I think that the clothes really suit him very well.

I think.

He's morphed beyond being kind of a retail tech guy because now with Amazon

studios and things of this nature and Amazon going to space and all these

ventures of his he really has developed a look that looks modern and doesn't look

like the sales guy from Seattle anymore.

And I think that it also even supersedes his abundant wealth.

There is a look about him that makes him look nimble because of

how well-fitted his clothing is.

You could almost look at him in a suit and think, wow, he could

practically go running in that thing.

And I think that's really true for who he is just looking at

him from the outside, looking in, he appears to have that kind of,

that kind of quickness in all ways and the way that he shows up enhances that.

Now of course, there are also people who look at all of that and

probably see that and think, well, you know, that's not so great.

I think that those are just some of the naysayers who just

don't like him or whatever.

So there's always, I say, when you have haters, which when you're at that level

of wealth or that level of infamy you're on, but people are paying attention.

That's the thing.

And I think that if, when you're in control of the message, which he is,

which Christine Legarde is, we're all in control of the messages that we deliver.

I think both of them really get the message right.

And they deliver.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think it's probably a good thing that the people are going

to support and like what these people do and people who aren't.

Suggest that they're not trying to please everybody and that they know

themselves well enough as well to know what they want and that the supporters

of welcome along and detractors as well,

it's just part of life.

I wonder, I don't want to, it would be unfair to ask if there are examples of

people getting wrong, but I do wonder if there are some particular style faux

pas that you see quite commonly that you think would be better to be avoided?

Well, I think, generally speaking, and this is a

little bit more of a mind thing than necessarily hard visual examples.

I do think that there is an issue around people showing up

as the lowest common denominator.

Say you're a person who got a ticket and needed to go to court to the

ticket and you show up with respect for the court and get dressed up

nicely, whatever that is for you.

And then you're there and you see a whole bunch of other people who are

showing up who are wearing jeans that are like exposing their tush with their

underwear exposed and, people who are just showing up looking disrespectful.

I've been hearing for people who have been telling me about their situations

like this, where they say, gosh, I almost really feel like I overdressed and I have

to say in response, why would you let the lowest common denominator drag you down?

You should really raise the standard by being exactly who

you are and how you showed up.

Why are we having a moment in society where we're looking at things as though

we should tone down and as a result of an example like that, I think that people

show up looking too laid back too casual.

Yeah.

know, my idea of casual as a definition is that you're

leaving something to chance when the stakes are high in your life,

do you really want to leave things to chance?

Not specifically.

No.

Yeah.

So out of my own curiosity, someone that comes in and wants to work with you and

you have a avatar, I suppose of people who you'd like to work with particularly.

How long does that process generally go on for?

Well, the engagement can go pretty quickly.

In a matter of hours, I can get to know all the things that I need to know.

In order to go out and then build a wardrobe, which then

takes me the time it takes me.

And then it takes time to present the client where it's a

lesson on here's what's for you,

and here's why.

Try it on.

Let's discuss, make some decisions and then let's go in for alterations and.

You know, Presto chango.

So now you have your stuff and I photograph all the outfit combinations

and that way on someone's iPhone, for example, we just have something to share

between that client and me private album, where it's like I'm in their pocket when

they don't know what to wear, all they have to do is go to their phone and say,

okay, this is how I assemble an outfit.

And when something comes up where they say, I need to be particularly extra

intentional today, not only do I have great ensembles that I can put together

now, but when I'm going to be in this situation and meeting with this person,

and this is what I want to say, and this is what I want to have as the outcome

of the day, knowing Joseph, what I have, what would you tell me to wear?

And I would say, okay, client, this is what you should put on.

And it works.

So a lot of this can go pretty quickly in terms of an initial engagement.

And then what's lovely is that I have clients that have

worked with me for years.

And that's because they really appreciate the relationship and

they know that someone is there as their trusted advisor to help

make sure that they do things well.

Yeah, and that's pretty important.

I feel I've learned a lot from you here.

And I know that we have to start moving towards wrapping things

up, but it's.

Honestly fascinating.

And I'm so happy that we've got to have this conversation and I'm also sure.

I'll probably think of a thousand more questions that I wish I'd

asked after we finished speaking.

But with everything that we learned today this show being all about

influence and persuasion, I have to ask you for you, what is your own

greatest strength around influence and persuasion that if you had a superpower

around influence and persuasion, what would you describe that as being?

Empathy.

I want to be able to put myself in someone else's shoes.

And so I want to stop and listen.

And learn and feel and be with another person on their journey and understand

what it is that they're coming from and where they want to go to.

And I love being that support person who stays discretely in the

background, advising and guiding, and sometimes mentoring my clients

and helping them see how they can be

the greatest sense of self for themselves.

And those around them makes me so happy.

And it all happens from empathy.

Well, given the way you described your process of working

with people, that makes perfect sense.

Let me ask you this.

Then I always ask my guests for a book recommendation.

I know I forewarned for this as well.

You can give more than one if you would like to, but if you

were going to recommend the book, it could be to do with looks,

it could be to do with influence, it could really be anything that you think

would be impactful for people, maybe something that you've really liked.

What would be your recommendation?

Well, a book that I'm reading right now is called The Big Leap.

And I think it's very powerful.

What I'm reading no matter how many things I've read, I continue

to delve further into things.

And I think a lot of people have already read that book and I feel

like I'm later to coming to it.

If you've read it, it be great to reread.

I think it would be one of those books I would reread

after I've completed reading it.

Now another book that I really love is about StrengthsFinder.

And there's actually a a self-evaluation that you can take.

That's part of the whole thing that Gallup the polling company operates.

And I love it because,

despite the fact that I'm an image consultant and personal stylist in order

to really style someone for their brand, it's really important to understand

what your brand strengths really are.

And so to be able to learn, not necessarily from people around

you, which your reputation creates your brand, but to know what

you see in yourself are your own brand strengths is a beginning point

and a very important, crucial point.

Not even just a beginning point, it's like a center point of understanding

who you are so that you can telegraph that information out to other people,

so that they're getting that right.

So you can't have

style without the substance.

And I think that that is a substantive piece of work StrengthsFinder.

I went and took that test.

After the last time we spoke a few months back and I find it

very useful, very insightful.

In fact, even after this conversation, I feel like we need to go and

revisit my results from that, just to remind myself of what came up.

But yeah, I think it was a great recommendation.

I appreciate that.

If anyone who's tuning in things, they would like to learn more about you maybe

even come and work with you, what would be the best way for them to find out more?

Well, I would encourage you to check out my website,

which is Joseph rosenfeld.com.

Connect with me on LinkedIn.

I'm also, find-able there as well.

On my website, I have a number of complimentary reports that

are available for download.

And I'm also available to have complimentary 30 minute consultation

conversation, no obligation.

I just like to learn about what people are doing with themselves and what makes them

interested in developing their personal style and seeing if we're a right fit?

Excellent.

All of the links to connect review and for the books you've mentioned as well, that

would all be in the show notes for anyone who would like to go and check those out.

I will be taking a good look around myself as we do wrap things up.

Let me ask you, I mean, there's a lot of value in this particular episode.

I think a lot of things that I will be going back and revisiting

and making notes on because you shared some really great insights.

If there was just one thing above everything else that you heart people will

take away from our conversation today.

What do you hope that would be?

I would like for you to know that style is not a surface

game, that you can transform yourself by addressing the way you look.

And so that people will get to know more about who you are from the inside out.

I literally saved my life on this premise as a teenager, and by

discovering the power of personal style.

And for me, it's like breathing because it's what I do.

And it gave me a second chance at life.

But I also know that for you, personal style has its own power to help other

people get the best out of you and for you to give others your best.

Absolutely.

That's a great message to finish on Joseph Rosenfeld, I really appreciate

everything you shared with us today.

It's been a wonderful conversation.

Thank you so much for coming and being a guest on Speaking Influence.

Thank you for having me.

It's my honor.

What can I tell you?

I knew that was going to be a good show.

I hope you enjoyed it as well.

It was very interesting and exciting to be exploring style as it relates

to influence and persuasion.

And I hope that you have taken away some useful learning and ideas from

this conversation, as much as I have certainly taken away some new

knowledge and information, and I will be considering my own personal

style in some new and different ways.

Do remember to go and check out Joseph's website, if you would like to know

more and actually have a consultation with him about your own personal style.

And of course do check out our sponsors Brand Face as they are currently

offering a special promotion to give you a branding score, to help you

figure out if your brand is being seen and received in the right way,

by your ideal customer.

Well worth taking them up on that opportunity.

I have a video on my YouTube site all about how that process works.

It's very, very easy.

And of course you can go and visit brand face score.com and

find out your brand score today.

Coming up on the show pretty soon.

Well, I'm excited to say that we are getting confirmation of

having Chris Ducker coming on the show soon at some point.

I have recently recorded an episode with Alex Sanfilippo

from Podmatch and Pod Pros.

And that was an amazing conversation, as well as some

other incredible guests coming up.

So do you make sure you are subscribed and tuned in for those?

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Thanks for taking some time with us.