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EP. 5 Your Pain- Identity [self-awareness]
Episode 510th December 2022 • The Borealis Experience • Aurora Eggert
00:00:00 00:12:48

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Hello there,

Let's make some time and reflect about some stuff that we might be very un-aware of.

We all go through pain and trauma/ suffering. It's a given .. now.. let's ask ourselves this question:

To which degree do you identify with the pain you have gone through in the past ?

Why is this important to reflect about ?

I believe it is very important to reflect about how pain can become a too important part of our identity because if we are not careful and attentive and self-aware enough to see that pain can change our character and how we show up in this world.

If we are not willing to address pain and let go of sorrow and resentment then we don't need to wonder why specific things/ unwanted situations keep happening or why we are feeling stuck and/ or lost.

With much love

A.

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.


Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com


Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.





Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 




In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.


with love and much respect

Aurora




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Transcripts

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host, Aurora, licensed life coach and

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companion on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you

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feel good, I hope you feel supported, safe, loved, I hope

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you have everything going for you. And if not, I hope I can be

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a value support you to bring you back to center to help you

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ground and find space, to take really good care of yourself and

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to find out how you can be and show up as the best version of

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yourself. Today I want to talk about pain, and especially about

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identifying with your pain. Let me explain a little further

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here. Sometimes we go through difficult situations. Sometimes

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we remember difficult situations from back in the day when we

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were children. And in one way or another, we now have identified

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through our pain. What do I mean by that? Let me give you some

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examples. Let's say you grew up with an absent father. And this

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affected you so much influenced you so much on how you perceive

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the world that you didn't notice that over time. Now that you are

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an adult, it still holds you back from living a fulfilled

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life. Because you don't feel deserving of attention and love.

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Because your dad attention and love of your parent back then

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was missing you, on a subconscious level still believe

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that this is normal, and has to be carried out in not allowing

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people to come close to you because you don't feel

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deserving. A rape victim for instance, can never get over the

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pain of being raped, and totally identify as a victim and take

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that into adulthood into old age. And by not healing that

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wound by not taking in that pain as your full on identity. You

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could be living a life that is more fulfilled. Yes, you went

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through pain and trauma in the past. But we can learn to heal

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from that. And to let go from a victim identity. And at first,

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it sounds like an attack to your sense of self, to your whole

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being because for so many years, you have carried that pain

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around and it became normal to identify through that pain. But

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what I want to talk about today is Does that still serve you?

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And if it doesn't serve you can we learn to let go of it. A lot

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of you people know that my dog went missing two weeks ago now.

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And I had a very hard time to stay aware of that feeling of

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wanting to drift into a very painful state of mind and

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emotional state of being because the pain was so intense. The

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grieving was so yeah, so much that I thought this is it. This

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is part of my personality. Now when people will get to know me.

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I will tell them first thing. I miss my dog. I'm in pain because

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my dog is not around anymore. And maybe you can see through

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that examples. that, if I was going to do that for decades, I

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would hold back from living a fulfilled life, I would keep

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myself stuck in an identity that doesn't serve anybody,

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especially not my dog, but also not me. Maybe you are a widow,

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maybe you have lost a loved one, maybe you went through a

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heartbreak, recently through divorce. Maybe you had a car

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accident a decade ago, and you're still limping. Because

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that's how you learn to cope. But if we were to look at your

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body, and if we were to train, and heal certain parts of your

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body, we might find out that you don't need to limp anymore. But

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you are limping, because you had that accident. So long ago, you

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are shutting yourself out from community and socializing,

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because you went through emotional pain of divorce and

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heartbreak. And all the other intense pains that there is out

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there that a human being can suffer through, goes through. So

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I want to invite you to look at yourself, and to maybe write

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down what you think you are made of? And from what you're writing

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down? How much of it is past pain that you still identify

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with? Or do you identify with the location you were born in?

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The job you're working? The role you're playing in your community

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or your family? How do you what do you identify with? It is

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very, very important question to ask yourself, because this is

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how you perceive yourself. This is how you're going to show up

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in the world. And if you are not aware of what your system, so to

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say is running on, right? If you were to look at your brain, your

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emotions as a computer system? What is your hardware made off?

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What's the software made of what are you downloading on a

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constant? What can we fixed? What can we let go off? What are

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some new stuff you want to download in order to live a

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content life, a fulfilled life? What is it that you identify

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with? That you really don't need to identify with any more,

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because it belongs to the past, you have done some healing on

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it. And now you can move on from that level of pain into a level

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of growth. This is what I want to talk about in the next couple

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of episodes is post traumatic growth. We all too often talk

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about the post traumatic stress and know that it is deeply

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affecting us on a mental and emotional, sometimes even

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physical level. But what we also need to talk about is that

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stress and trauma is not always crippling us. It is always

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painful. It is always uncomfortable, because it means

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change. But sometimes the exact trauma that we went through is

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what makes us more resilient, more compassionate in the

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present. And we need to recognize this more and more. We

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need to make people aware of that it is a possibility. Not

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everybody who went through trauma is now going to be

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growing from it and become a superhuman human. But it is

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possible. You can become a very valuable, heart driven leader.

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This is what I believe at least, if you have gone through intense

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pain and trauma, and have healed from it, because you know what

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it means like to go through pain, you know what it takes to

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heal and to move on. And you can inspire others to heal and grow.

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But you can only do that if you are willing to not fully

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identify with this past pain anymore. But to identify as a

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person who is able to let go, reflect, and then expand and

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grow and share with others. And I really hope that all this pain

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I had to go through right now is, is going to help me serve

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you guys and girls out there better in the future. I have to

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do something with that pain. And I really want this to transform

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me for the better because I know, a couple of days ago, I

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was feeling like balancing on a thin chord where I could fall

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into deep bitterness and depression or into a direction

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of acceptance and healing and growth. So this is what I'm

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working on right now. This is what I would love you to reflect

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on for now. I will be out there very soon. Again, thank you

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endlessly for being here. I hope I was able to bring you value

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and bring you closer to yourself. If you like my

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content, my podcast please consider making little comment a

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review. And yeah, that would help me a lot. All right. take

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really good care of yourself. Until next time, bye bye

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