What if your anxiety, overthinking, and emotional patterns aren’t the problem… but the result of a nervous system that learned to survive?

In this episode of Tammy’s Takes, Tammy builds on her powerful conversation with Dr. Tracy Hutchinson to break down 5 key signs your nervous system may still be stuck in survival mode due to childhood trauma, emotional invalidation, or high-conflict environments.

If you constantly feel on edge, overanalyze people’s behavior, struggle to trust calm, or question yourself, this episode will help you understand why—and more importantly, what to do about it.

Tammy also shares a simple but powerful tool you can use in real time to interrupt these patterns and begin shifting your nervous system out of survival and into safety.

Because healing isn’t about fixing yourself…

It’s about understanding what your body learned—and teaching it something new.

💥 In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

✔ 5 signs your nervous system is stuck in survival mode

✔ How childhood trauma and emotional invalidation shape adult behavior

✔ Why you feel anxious even when nothing is wrong

✔ The truth behind hypervigilance and overthinking

✔ A practical tool to interrupt patterns in real time

✔ How to begin rebuilding self-trust and emotional safety

🔑 Key Takeaway:

You’re not broken.

Your nervous system adapted to protect you—and once you understand it, you can begin to change it.

💛 Ready to Go Deeper?

✨ Book a Confidence & Clarity Call:

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Hey there, I’m so glad you’re here and tuning in! If this episode spoke to your heart, just know there’s even more support waiting for you.

If you would like to ask a question, and hear the answer in a future episode, please leave your question here: https://www.speakpipe.com/Tammyvincentcoaching

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As an international inspirational speaker, NLP Practitioner, Trauma-Informed Coach, Neurofit Trainer, and Best-Selling Author, I bring both deep personal experience and professional training to the work I do. I believe in prevention, not just intervention — and use a body, mind, and spirit approach to guide others toward becoming the happiest, healthiest versions of themselves.

My holistic toolbox includes nervous system regulation, trauma-informed coaching, nutritional support, and natural healing strategies,

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Welcome back to another episode of

Tammy's Takes, where we take powerful

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conversations with our guests and turn

them into practical strategies that

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you can use right here, right now.

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So if you listen to

yesterday's episode with Dr.

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Tracy Hutchinson, whoa, it was a good one.

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She's an author, a psychotherapist,

and an expert in narcissistic

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abuse and family trauma.

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We had such a powerful conversation

and we talked about something that

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you might not have heard, a term you

might not have ever heard, actually.

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It's called high conflict parenting.

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We also talked about emotional

invalidation and how that

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shapes you long after childhood.

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She talked about how growing up with these

high conflict parents can keep you stuck

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in patterns of self-doubt, hypervigilance

and low self-worth for years if you don't

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understand what's actually happening.

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And today, what I wanna do is I

wanna pull something out of the

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conversation that I think is going

to land for a whole lot of you.

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So many of us are walking around

thinking, I'm just anxious.

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I overthink everything.

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I can't relax.

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I'm too emotional.

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I just need to get it together.

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And what you might not realize is,

even though you know all this stuff,

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logically, it may be that your nervous

system is stuck in survival mode.

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And that does not mean that

there's anything wrong with you.

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It means your body learned to

adapt in an environment where it

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did not feel emotionally safe.

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So today what I'm going to give

you is I wanna give you five signs.

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Your nervous system is still operating

from survival and not safety, and I

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really want you to listen to these,

even write 'em down if you have to.

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Not from a place of judging yourself, but

from a place of understanding yourself.

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Because it's awareness and

becoming aware of your patterns

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and why you are the way you are.

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That starts to shift everything.

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So here we go.

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Number one, you feel on edge

even when nothing is wrong.

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This is one of the biggest signs.

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tight.

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Your shoulders may be up, your

chest may feel heavy, your

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stomach may feel unsettled.

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Your mind might be scanning, scanning,

scanning, literally looking around.

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It's called hyper vigilance.

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You might even ask yourself things

like, I don't know why I feel this way.

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I just can't seem to settle down.

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I feel like something

bad is about to happen.

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What's so important to understand here is

that this is not your body being dramatic.

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This is your body doing what it learned

to do, because if you grow up in

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chaos, if you grow up with emotional

unpredictability, if you grew up with

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a parent whose mood could change the

whole room, then your body learned

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it's safer to stay ready than to relax.

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Dr.

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Tracy talked about this so well when she's

described hypervigilance and how some

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people don't even realize they're living

in a constant state of tension because

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it's literally become their baseline.

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So if you feel on edge, even when nothing

is wrong, that doesn't mean you're broken.

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It means your system has not fully

learned that this moment right now,

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right here, what your experiences

is actually different from the past.

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Number two, you overanalyze

people's tone, text, or behavior.

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This one is so common so someone sends

a short text, someone seems a little

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off, someone doesn't respond right

away, someone's tone changes just a bit.

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Suddenly your brain is

literally off to the races.

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These are the things that

might go through your head.

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So I want you to let me know

if this resonates with you.

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What did I do?

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Are they mad?

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Did I say something wrong?

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Are they pulling away?

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Do I need to fix this?

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And here's the thing.

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You probably got really,

good at reading people.

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You may be the person who can walk into

a room and instantly feel the energy.

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You might even be the person who

can tell when someone is upset

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before they even say anything.

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You may be the person who notices the

smallest shift in tone or body language.

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And a lot of times people

call that intuition.

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Sometimes it is intuition, but

sometimes it's a nervous system that

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learned to survive by reading the room.

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Because if you grew up in those homes

where moods mattered, where tone mattered,

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where one look could mean something

was about to happen, then your body

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learned to decode subtle cues fast.

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That was protective then.

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But what about now?

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Literally now it can make everyday

relationships feel exhausting.

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Now your body reacts to uncertainty like

it's danger, and again, that's not because

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you're weak, it's because your body got

really skilled at pattern detection.

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Number three, you feel responsible

for other people's emotions.

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This one can look like

being the helpful one.

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If someone is upset, you feel it.

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If someone is quiet, you notice it.

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If someone is disappointed,

frustrated, withdrawn, angry,

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overwhelmed, you don't just observe it.

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But no.

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If you grew up like this, what happens

is you jump in and you feel like

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you need to do something about it.

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You might try to fix it.

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You might try to smooth it over.

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Make conversation lighter.

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Explain yourself over, give

over, accommodate, over function.

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And a lot of people think this

means they're just being caring.

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And yes, you probably are caring,

but for many people this goes

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much deeper than kindness.

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This is what happens when your nervous

system learned that other people's

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emotional states affected your safety.

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So if mom was in a good mood, if Dad

came home angry, if disconnection

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meant punishment, then your body

learned a specific message, and

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that is, I need to manage the

emotional environment around me.

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This is survival.

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That's not being you.

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That's your system trying to

prevent pain before it happens.

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Unfortunately, over time what happens

is it creates a very exhausting pattern

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where you stop asking, what do I need?

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You start living in this, what do they

need so that everything stays okay.

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Mentality.

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That is not peace, that is

survival, dressed up as helpfulness.

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And I know that sounds so

crazy, but I know some of you

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can resonate with this so much.

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It's, it's just being completely

dependent on other people's

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emotions for your own happiness.

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Number four, you struggle to trust calm.

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This one is really sneaky.

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If I asked you what you'd want,

you'd probably say, I want peace.

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I want calm, I want stability.

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I want consistency.

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I want healthy love.

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I want all of those things.

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That's what you want.

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But then what hap happens

when things are a little calm?

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When someone is steady, when

there's no drama, there's no

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yelling, no one is pulling away.

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When things actually start to

feel a little kind of normal,

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you start feeling weird.

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You get restless, you get uncomfortable,

you get bored, you get suspicious like

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there's something missing in your life.

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That is why a lot of people that grew up

in chaos are literally addicted to trauma.

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feel like something

big is about to happen.

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And Dr.

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Tracy talked about this too, how

someone can be attracted to what is

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familiar, even if what is familiar

is emotionally unhealthy because the

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body is conditioned to activation.

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So Healthy can feel boring,

calm, can feel suspicious.

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can feel unfamiliar, and that's

such an important word here.

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Unfamiliar, not wrong,

not bad, not even unsafe.

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Just unfamiliar.

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I know my very first peaceful

and, and stable relationship.

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Felt so weird to me.

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It was like I was waiting

for something bad to happen.

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I was waiting for the next bad thing.

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I was waiting for that snarky comment,

and I just kept waiting and it never

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came, but it just felt very uncomfortable.

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Honestly, if your body grew up equating

intensity with connection, drama with

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aliveness, unpredictability, with love,

and of course it makes total sense, that

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calm is going to feel a little strange.

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So if you struggle to trust calm,

don't shame yourself for that.

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Just understand your nervous

system may still be learning

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that peace is not a trap.

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Not everything is bad, not everything.

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There's not a bad thing

after every good thing.

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So just learn to sit

with that for a minute.

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So the last one I'm gonna talk about is

that you question yourself constantly.

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This one runs very deep.

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You don't trust yourself.

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You second guess your reactions.

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You second guess your words.

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You second guess your decisions.

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You replay conversations in your

head over and over and over again.

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You wonder if you're the problem.

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You wonder if you took it the wrong way.

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You wonder if maybe

you're just too sensitive.

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And what that does over

time is erodes self-trust.

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You stop learning to listen

to your own instincts.

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You stop trusting what you feel.

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You stop trusting what you

know and why does this happen?

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If you grew up in an environment

where your emotions were dismissed,

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minimized, mocked, invalidated, or

turned back around on you, then you

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learn not to trust your inner experience.

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So now, instead of saying, that hurt

me, you say, maybe I'm overreacting.

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Instead of saying, that didn't

feel right, you say, maybe I'm just

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making too big a deal out of this.

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This is what happens when your real

reality has been challenged for too long.

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You become disconnected from your

own knowing, and that disconnect can

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follow you for years if you don't

start rebuilding trust with yourself.

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None of these signs mean

something is wrong with you.

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They mean your nervous system

adapted really well to an

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environment that didn't feel safe.

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That's what survival mode is.

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It's not weakness, it's not

brokenness, it's not failure.

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It's adaptation.

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This is exactly why the comfort, and this

is exactly why that conversation with Dr.

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Tracy Hutchinson mattered so much.

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Because once you can name the

pattern, you stop personalizing it.

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You stop saying what's wrong with me?

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And you start saying,

oh, this makes sense.

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And that shift right there where you

start questioning it and being curious

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instead of judging yourself, that is

the shift that needs to start happening.

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That's huge because you cannot change

a pattern that you're still shaming.

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So now I wanna give you that practical

tool, and the next time one of these

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signs shows up, the next time your body

tightens, your thoughts start spiral,

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spiraling, and that old pattern kicks in.

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I do not want your first question

to be what's wrong with me.

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Instead, I want you to pause and ask what

does my body think is happening right now?

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Not what is actually happening?

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What does your body think is happening?

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And let the answer come up.

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Maybe it's, I'm being

rejected, I'm being ignored.

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I'm about to get in trouble.

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I'm about to get abandoned.

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I did something wrong.

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I don't feel safe.

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And then ask yourself, what

is actually true right now?

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Now this is the moment I really

wanna slow things down because most

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of the time you don't actually know.

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And that's an important part and

a place to sit for just a second.

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Your brain hates, I don't

know, your survival brain.

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It wants certainty.

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It wants to rush in and finish the story.

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It wants to take your past and

paste it right into the present.

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It wants to say they're mad.

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I knew it.

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See, this always happens.

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I need to do something right now.

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It wants an answer.

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But when you slow down and you pause and

you allow that question, I don't actually

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know or I don't know what happened.

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You create space, and that space is where

you heal, because in that space is where

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you interrupt the automatic pattern.

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You stop reacting as if the

past is happening again.

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You begin separating what your

body learned then from what may

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or may not be happening now, and

that is where healing starts.

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spiritually bypassing your emotions,

but in pausing long enough to say, my

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body is telling me a story right now.

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Let me see if it's actually

true in this moment.

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That is super powerful.

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Let's say someone doesn't text you back.

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When you text them, you

feel the anxiety rise.

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Your chest gets tight, your

thoughts start running.

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Now, instead of chasing,

assuming overexplaining or

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spiraling, you're gonna pause.

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You're gonna ask, what does my

body think is happening right now?

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And the answer might

be, I'm being ignored.

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I did something wrong.

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I'm not important.

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Then ask yourself, is that

actually true right now?

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And the answer might be.

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I don't actually know.

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That doesn't magically make that feeling

disappear, but it slows the pattern down.

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It takes you outta certainty

and puts you back into presence.

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And that pause, that is

where your power comes back.

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this is why I wanted to do Tammy's take.

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Dr.

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Tracy gave such a powerful framework

for understanding high conflicting

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parenting, emotional invalidation,

and how these patterns form.

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Now, what I wanted to do was to

bring that into the right now

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real life moment, because the

work is not just about insight.

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It's about catching the

pattern while it's happening.

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It's about learning how to

support your body in real time.

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It's about moving from, I'm broken

to, my body learns something, and

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now I can teach it something new.

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So this is kind of the work that I

do with my clients every single day.

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Not just helping you understand

your patterns, but helping

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you shift what happens in your

body when the pattern shows up.

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So if you're listening to this and

you're thinking, okay, this is definitely

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me, then your next step is simple.

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You can book a con call, and we

can walk through what's really

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happening for you in real time.

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Or if you wanna go even to deeper

into what your body may be holding

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onto, you can get a complimentary

voice scan and start identifying

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the patterns from another angle.

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Most importantly, your

nervous system is not broken.

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It's been protecting you.

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Now, we just need to teach it something

new, and I hope you can come along

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on this journey and do that with me.

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Until the next one.

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Take care and have a blessed day.