ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
Welcome back to the ADHD Powerful Possibilities podcast! In this episode, we use the 3 legged stool to show how executive functions, personal strengths, and self-compassion create a robust foundation for managing ADHD. Join me as we explore practical strategies to harness these elements for both personal and professional success.
Connect with Katherine here:
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Books:
"Executive Function and Self-Regulation" (Harvard University Center on the Developing Child): A comprehensive overview of executive functions and their importance. Link
Welcome back.
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:My friend.
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:It is ADHD.
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:Coach Katherine.
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:And today we are going to be
looking at how to combine some
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:of the things I've talked about.
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:In previous episodes and which are a key
part of the foundation of my framework.
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:This is your critical trio.
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:That allow you to work with your ADHD.
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:And to still achieve whatever
your desired outcome, maybe.
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:Those three things which I've
talked about in previous episodes.
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:Are your executive functions.
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:Your personal strengths
and self-compassion.
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:Again, I'm so grateful for the wonderful
messages I get from people who have
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:taken things from the Polk, cursed
used them and are finding them, making
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:a real positive change in their life.
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:Bravo.
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:I just want to give you a
great big round of applause.
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:I'm so impressed and.
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:It's exactly why I make this podcast.
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:And the last episode, we talked
about understanding how your ADHD
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:is different from other people's and
why it's really important that you
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:understand how it's affecting you.
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:Because of course, if
we don't really know.
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:Why we findings difficult
or what is helpful for us?
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:We're not going to be able
to create the strategies and
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:structures that we need around us.
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:And yes, we all need a routine, even
if we don't particularly enjoy it.
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:Building strategies and structures
at work with your brain.
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:Is only possible when you
understand your version of ADHD.
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:Now that you understand the
need for self-awareness.
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:We're going to build a foundation by
looking at home executive functions.
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:Focusing on your strengths.
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:And adding in self-compassion.
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:Allow you to create a really real.
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:Bust foundation level.
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:For both personal and
professional success.
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:As we unpack each of these
elements, And I'm going to
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:explain how they work together.
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:And give you some practical strategies
about how to use them every day.
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:I want you to remember that whether
you're struggling with time management.
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:Whether you are feeling a bit overwhelmed
in your business or in your personal life.
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:Learning to use your strengths
and use of compassion.
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:Is really important.
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:Whatever you are with your ADHD.
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:Let's do a quick recap
of executive functions.
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:I love Dr.
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:Russell Barkley's explanation of them as.
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:Who, what, when, why and how models.
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:And I've spoken before about where they
are in your brain, because said are
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:circuits rather than single elements.
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:That affect your executive
functions and how they work.
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:These are the defining features of ADHD.
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:Our executive functions are different
from the neuro-typical standard model
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:it's likely that you are going to
struggle with one or two more than others.
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:For example, some people
with ADHD have no problem.
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:Planning out.
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:Complicated projects.
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:And I know several who work in
businesses and companies where that's
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:their main job and they love it.
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:They thrive on it.
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:But there are others who literally
can't see beyond next week.
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:There are going to be some people with
ADHD who are capable of switching into
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:hyper-focus or floor really quickly.
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:And that focus that laser
beam is used every day is
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:something that they thrive on.
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:But there are going to be
other people who struggle.
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:And when you think is it.
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:Most people.
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:I find it hard to refocus when
we have an interruption, either
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:an internal or external one.
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:And it takes about 20 minutes
to regather your attention.
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:It's no wonder that people with
ADHD find it even more difficult.
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:But basically your executive
functions are the management system,
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:the operating system of your brain
and the connect different areas.
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:They tell you.
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:Who you are.
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:What do you believe about yourself?
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:What are you doing?
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:And what order do you do things in.
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:Why are you doing thing support?
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:What's the meaning of them.
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:Did manage your emotions.
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:That you're hot circuit
is your emotional circuit.
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:And all of them tick is our create.
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:Our experience of the world.
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:But with ADHD brains.
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:Both the structure and the level
of neuro-transmitters in her brain.
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:Are different.
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:We may find it harder to keep up with
the speed of conversation because
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:we're processing what people are
seeing and how they're talking.
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:It's why many parents
of children with ADHD.
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:The first thing I tell them is give
instructions one thing at a time.
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:And if you're in a classroom,
Make sure that you have a visual.
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:On the board as well as
a variable instruction.
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:Because your executive
functions take external.
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:Stimuli and feedback and turn it
into a message or instruction.
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:And one of the main ways
we assess ADHD is to.
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:Determine how affected your
executive functions are.
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:So the first thing to do is think about.
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:Where are my executive
functions struggling.
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:And I've talked about this in
a previous episode, which I
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:will include in the show notes.
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:And I have a mini class, which
is nearly ready to go about
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:understanding your executive functions.
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:And creating your unique profile.
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:It's called brilliant brains.
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:And it will be available.
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:In June.
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:2024.
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:And a few episodes ago, I
talked about strengths and it
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:specifically character strengths.
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:And why those are so important.
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:It's the second lake of your three legged
stool for this particular foundation.
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:And character strengths are those
things which are universally
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:recognized so for instance, creativity.
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:Love of beauty and excellence.
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:Zest is one that's very common
for people with ADHD humor.
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:Kindness love is a character strengths.
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:There's about 24 that you can find on
the via character strengths assessment.
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:So when that I use.
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:But that's different.
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:From a skill.
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:Skill is something that we learn through
practice and training, and these can
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:be things that we use for ADHD support.
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:Time management.
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:Computer coding, learning
to speak in public.
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:Knitting.
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:These are all skills.
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:That we can learn and improve.
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:And finally we have talent.
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:Tell it to those natural aptitudes
or abilities that we have.
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:When we are given the opportunity
to use an express, some.
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:They can become something more.
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:But a talent is obviously
something like being musical.
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:Being artistic.
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:Some people are very good at sport.
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:But there are other things.
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:Some people have a real gift for
catching mathematics, the instinctively
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:understand the principles and the.
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:The enjoy it.
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:We can also develop a skill
with mathematics, but it's
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:not the same as a talent.
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:But once you understand what
your particular strengths are.
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:Your character strengths.
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:You can use them in areas that your
executive functions are struggling a bit.
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:When we work with our strengths.
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:We have a level of resilience.
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:And capability.
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:Of what you call self efficacy, that
feelings that we are able to do things.
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:There is.
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:Often lacking for those of us with ADHD.
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:And sometimes it happens because
people are well-meaning and
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:they sink they're helping.
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:And it just reinforces this idea.
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:We can't do sayings.
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:But when you're using your
strengths, You can start to feel
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:more capable, more confident.
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:You can achieve more in your desired
idiot doesn't mean you need to be.
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:Going out.
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:Setting up a company
like Virgin or jet blue.
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:But your strengths give
you this foundation.
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:And then you can use
your skills and talents.
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:To compliment.
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:The areas that you need help
with your executive functions.
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:For example, if you are somebody who
struggles with organization, And you feel
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:that you just can't get on top of things.
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:You may be lacking a skill.
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:Which could be learned.
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:But when you look at your
strengths, you may find it.
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:You have a strengths for creativity.
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:Creativity doesn't mean that
you can write music like Mozart.
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:It just means that you're more likely to
find an unusual solution to a problem.
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:But when we take the pressure
off for solving that.
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:Challenge of our executive
function syncing.
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:Huh.
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:One of my character
strengths is creativity.
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:Who can I.
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:Adapt.
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:This particular challenge.
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:And use that character strengths
to develop your unique system.
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:The reason that a strengths based
approach is so good for people with ADHD.
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:Is because it moves away.
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:From this deficit and
yes, ADHD is a disability.
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:But when we focus on our strengths,
We're thinking about what is
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:inherently powerful and good.
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:About me.
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:And the positive focus.
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:Changes your motivation.
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:And your confidence and I was asking
clients for feedback this week.
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:And so many of them said my
confidence is so much higher.
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:I feel really good.
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:I know I can do things now and
it's because we focus relentlessly.
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:On what they're good at?
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:What are their strengths?
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:How can they use them
to solve the challenges?
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:That they have a knows they're doing it
themselves, which is so great to see.
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:So using your strengths.
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:Boost your confidence.
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:It gives you a feeling of competence
allows you to accomplish things.
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:Is that.
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:Boost you even more.
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:I know people talk about
the carrot and the stick.
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:People with ADHD, we
worked so much better.
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:With a big bucket of carrots.
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:And lots of praise and.
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:Positive feedback and warm sending.
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:and enthusiasm you might be
able to use the stick there.
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:Negative reinforcement for a while.
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:But ultimately it's not going to be good
for your mental health or sustainable.
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:So using your strengths.
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:You build strategies around the
executive function challenges.
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:Means it tasks become manageable.
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:Less stressful.
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:And it allows you to adapt.
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:As circumstances change.
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:And as your.
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:Challenges change.
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:One is a foundation pieces in the.
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:Framework is it.
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:We focus on using your strengths.
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:And showing you how to create customized.
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:Methods of support and scaffolding that
support your executive function gaps.
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:Which means that it's all about
what is going to work best for you.
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:It's got to be customized.
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:And that is the.
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:Difficulty most people
have when they try to.
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:Sort of shoe horn themselves
into an ADHD in quotes solution.
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:Or app
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:.
And the third element of this foundation that we're thinking about building for
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:your future success is self-compassion.
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:Self-compassion is a really
tricky one for people with ADHD.
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:Not just because we've had so many
negative comments throughout our life.
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:The little judgy remarks
about things you've forgotten.
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:Things you feel to do.
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:And we end up judging
ourselves really harshly.
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:I certainly have in the past, given
myself a fairly hard time for.
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:Normal ADHD challenges before I
knew that's what was going on.
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:But without self-compassion.
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:This can actually become
really destructive.
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:Because we know that all human beings
have a negativity bias were drawn to this,
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:the bad, which is stickier than the good.
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:But with ADHD, we get stuck in rumination.
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:That's partly because of the
interplay between the TPN and the
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:DMN, which is the task positive
network and the default mode network.
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:People with ADHD appear to slip in
a note of those much more quickly.
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:And also the default mode
network is very helpful.
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:And it's what.
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:We might be in, if we're
standing, waiting on a bus.
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:If you're in the middle of a task and you
end up in the default mode network, and
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:instead of focusing on the task, you're
thinking about what your boss said.
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:Before you began, or the discussion
you had with your toe before you
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:began work for the day or your
partner, something like that.
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:That is where your focus starts to go.
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:Your self efficacy takes a hit because
you think I can't steal on task.
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:I'm not doing a good job.
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:And with self-compassion.
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:That is the moment where your
practice kicks in and you think,
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:oh what is going on with me, I'm
going to take a minute and just.
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:Get my self back into center.
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:It can be as simple as choosing
to take a few mindful breaths.
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:It can be having a daily
self-compassion practice.
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:And there is evidence that it changes
how our brains are responding.
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:But with self-compassion that
conversation, when you knew that you
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:slipped into rumination or distraction?
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:It's so much easier to get
back on task because you're not
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:spending five or 10 or 30 minutes.
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:Complaining to yourself about
how terrible your brain is.
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:You just noticing it.
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:And then moving back.
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:It reduces your judgment.
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:And Being less judgmental about yourself.
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:Is absolutely key.
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:Two.
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:Keeping your executive
functions running smoothly.
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:And the reason for that.
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:Is because emotional regulation.
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:Becomes a dominant.
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:Sir, if you like, and your brain
over time, your brain will change.
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:Your amygdala will enlarge this.
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:That pathway, if you like becomes
well-trodden very quickly.
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:And what self-compassion does.
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:Is, it helps with the emotional
regulation piece of ADHD.
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:It reduces your stress, which
we know has a physical impact.
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:And when people with ADHD are
more likely to have diabetes
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:and other health problems.
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:We need to work on our stress levels.
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:And it also helps us with the
resilience that I talked about before.
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:Go back a couple of episodes
and I mentioned resilience.
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:But in a non-toxic.
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:Sort of way.
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:And what it means about being flexible.
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:So self-compassion is essential.
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:To all of those things.
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:And although it sounds like I'm
just going to be kind to myself.
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:So many people have
baggage with the word kind.
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:I like to replace it.
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:And instead of saying,
oh, be kind to yourself.
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:I think having compassion.
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:For yourself.
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:Is so much more expansive.
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:When you think about what most
people are trying to juggle.
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:Especially if you're self-employed,
you're running your own business
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:or, you have a creative practice.
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:You have a family.
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:Any person living in the world today.
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:Is dealing with a lot.
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:And instead of seeing, be kind.
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:B.
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:Compassionate.
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:It's so much more powerful kindness
is like patting somebody on
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:the shoulder and seeing they're
there and doing the head toe.
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:Making sympathetic noises.
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:Compassion.
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:For me.
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:Is.
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:Wrapping your arms around somebody.
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:Giving them a long enough hook
for their breathing to regulate
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:their oxytocin, to kick in.
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:And we know that oxytocin has
a relationship with coaches.
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:Also, the more oxytocin we
have to Lord our cortisol goes.
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:Compassion.
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:Embrace as somebody changes
their chemical state.
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:And we can do that.
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:And the way we communicate
with people and ourselves.
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:And it's important.
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:You learn to do that for yourself.
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:And as always, I refer to.
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:Dr.
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:Kristin Neff, who is the person I always
go to for myself, compassion practice.
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:And the reason we have
to do that is because.
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:We have to build in self-compassion
along with understanding and working
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:with our executive functions.
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:And understanding or strengths.
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:It's because the three of them
are low you to stay balanced.
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:Centered afloat.
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:Even when things get really challenging.
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:And obviously I go into
this a lot more depth.
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:And sessions with people.
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:But sharing this with you isn't to make
you think, oh, I've got all these other
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:things that I have to learn to do.
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:I'm trying to explain.
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:These are skills and
things we're not taught.
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:In childhood.
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:What if we are, they're filtered
through a manual and then they're
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:misunderstood and miscommunicated.
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:But identifying all
three of these elements.
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:And spending time with them.
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:It's going to allow you to Zane, move
on to things like time management.
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:Goal setting.
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:That other areas of life that
people with ADHD struggle with.
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:But having this foundation.
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:Letting go of your judgment.
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:Acknowledging your need
for self-compassion.
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:All of these things.
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:Work together.
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:. Bear with me.
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:It's a bit like trying
to build a garden shed.
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:I have two, which sounds excessive.
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:One is for garden toes.
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:And that was built by my dad.
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:He took out.
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:A few inches of earth filled it with
concrete, leveled it, put down some
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:slabs and then put the shed on top.
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:That one is rock-solid.
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:The other garden shed
was one put up in:
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:And it was.
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:Not built on a foundation.
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:I asked somebody to help and they.
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:Threw down some slabs.
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:I put some cement on
the front of this labs.
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:And then put the shed on top.
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:And although it's still standing.
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:It is definitely less robust.
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:And as my house is on top of a steep
hill, you can imagine which one
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:copes better was so windy weather.
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:When you're going through life, I want you
to have the solid dad built foundation.
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:Of cement and slabs that are level.
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:And when we integrate all three.
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:Supporting executive functions.
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:Really diving in and
focusing on your strengths.
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:And Huge dollop of self-compassion.
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:That is a physical practice
as well as a mental one.
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:Together, this three of
them are so much more.
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:Powerful.
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:Than they are on their own.
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:So here are three ideas for
you to take away this week.
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:The first is thinking about routines.
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:And the reason I talk about routines
is because our executive functions.
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:Quick, they get overloaded.
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:Routines are about reducing the demand.
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:On your executive functions.
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:If Steve jobs or jeans and a
black polo neck every single day.
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:Hit me well have been an affectation.
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:Or as my ground would see, he
might have had a ticket on himself.
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:But the fact is he didn't need to waste.
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:Any mental energy on
choosing what to wear.
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:You don't have to go to that extreme.
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:I am not far away from it.
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:But building as much routine and structure
into your D is going to make your
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:executive functions feel less stressed.
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:No.
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:The thing that most people miss.
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:Is that they need to have
both meaning and structure.
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:There has to be a reason
that matters to you.
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:Why you're doing it.
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:And you could use the five.
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:Why is exercise?
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:Which I'll include a link
to in the notes below.
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:But it might also mean you use
a lot of external scaffolding.
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:These are things that you set up.
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:And that you don't need
to use energy to maintain.
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:You may need to adapt them because
they will become invisible unless
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:they are what I call bright lane.
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:Structures things that have zero.
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:Flexibility like you have
no overdraft on your bank.
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:That's no flexibility.
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:That's a brief lane.
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:But if you have an external structure
that doesn't require energy to maintain.
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:That allows you to function
and set up a routine.
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:It's going to slowly reduce the
Lord on your executive functions.
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:Which means you'll have more
energy for emotional regulation.
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:And you'll be able to think more
about your other goals here.
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:Other ideas here plans instead of.
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:Firefighting every single day.
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:The next thing to try.
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:Number two is strengths-based planning.
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:And problem-solving and.
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:Obviously, I talked about this a
lot more in the strengths episode.
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:But when you are coming up against a new
task or a challenge, that's cropped up.
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:Look at your top five character strengths.
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:You might have a list of your skills.
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:Your talent.
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:And then state of coming up was what's
the most logical way to solve this.
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:Spend half an hour.
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:Really getting silly.
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:I'm thinking this is my strength.
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:What are the possible ways that
I could use it to deal with
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:this challenge or this task?
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:I don't know if you've ever heard
the exercise about the brick
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:and how many different ways.
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:You can use a brick.
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:I'll include a link for you in
the show notes as well, but.
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:Use your strengths like that.
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:And.
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:Okay, messy with it.
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:Use mind maps use braindumps use.
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:Audio notes, but just.
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:Explore.
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:How many different ways can I use
my strengths to solve this problem?
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:Or is one of my number
four or five strengths.
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:The one that I should use for this
particular challenge or this task.
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:Because.
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:You might not come up with the
perfect solution first time.
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:The fact you're spending so long
thinking about stuff you're good at.
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:Is going to.
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:Regulate your emotions.
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:And it's going to allow you
to think of what's possible.
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:And the last thing I'm going
to invite you to do again.
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:I know I've mentioned this before.
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:Is a self compassion practice.
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:Kristin Neff has them on her website.
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:They are between five and 10 minutes long.
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:If you have tame.
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:You can do a 20 minute one.
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:But the one that I phoned.
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:Most powerful whistle, loving kindness.
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:Self-compassion practice.
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:That are fierce self-compassion exercises,
which are really good to, if you're
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:somebody who struggles with boundaries.
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:All of the matter
available on her website.
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:But this allows you to build
up your emotional battery, this
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:like you're charging yourself up.
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:With more flexibility.
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:More resilience.
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:And it allows you to focus more
on the strengths because you're
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:less emotionally dysregulated.
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:And with the strengths
as part of your routines.
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:And your external
structure, supporting them.
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:You feel naturally more organized and
allows you to stay more resilient and
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:flexible when challenges come up and you
need to adapt your strategies over time.
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:Obviously, this is all part
of the foundation of my ADHD.
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:Rising.
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:Great program, which is
going to launch in June.
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:The first program starts in
September, but there will be special
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:warmup sessions over the summer.
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:And again, Going to talk about my
executive function challenge class in.
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:June, which has code brilliant brains.
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:And you'll find out more
about that in the show notes.
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:Using these elements as part of the
ADHD rising framework means that you're
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:building from a very strong foundation.
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:And it.
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:Improves your personal
and professional life.
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:Because let's face it.
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:It doesn't matter if you learn all
these wonderful business techniques.
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:If your personal life is a mace.
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:It's eventually going
to bite you in the bum.
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:When you're trying to work.
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:Please take the time to understand
your executive function needs.
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:What your strengths are.
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:And how you can improve yourself.
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:Compassion.
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:I really hope you will come
along to the live seminar on
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:Monday, the 3rd of June, 2024.
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:When I will explain about how
the framework works is the
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:summary of the experiences I've
had myself and with clients.
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:And brings together the
most powerful elements.
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:Adaptable by and for you.
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:To create.
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:The frameworks that you need.
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:For personal and professional success.
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:There is a signup link in the show notes
below and M my social media profiles.
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:And it's going to have a few extra bonuses
for those people who come along live.
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:And.
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:I would love to hear
about your experiences.
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:With executive functions.
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:What happens when you focus on
your strains, you can share them.
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:With me on social media,
you can email me directly.
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:And.
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:Next week, I'm going to be talking about.
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:My clear message, which is how I manage.
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:A lot of my day-to-day work.
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:And information.
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:But I'm also going to talk about focus
and flow because I think those are
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:really important for so many people.
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:So make sure you come back next
week to hear more about the clear
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:message, which is a favorable
in my ebook and the link below.
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:As well as focus and flow
and how to manage it.
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:Until next time.
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:Take care of yourself.
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:And keep in touch.