There’s a quiet weight that comes with the constant decisions, expectations, and identity shifts that unfold in early motherhood. In my conversation with Kelsey, we explore what it looks like to navigate that season while trying to stay connected to yourself. From becoming a mother during COVID to returning to work just a few months postpartum, Kelsey shares how quickly life changed and how those changes brought both growth and internal tension.

We talk about the mental load of decision fatigue, the pressure to meet external expectations, and the guilt that can creep in no matter what choices you make. Kelsey opens up about how faith, community, and simple practices like journaling helped her stay grounded and reconnect with small moments of joy. Her story is a reminder that self-discovery doesn’t happen all at once it unfolds slowly, in the middle of the chaos, as we learn to release control and trust ourselves a little more.

Key Takeaways

• Decision fatigue can quietly impact mental health and requires intentional awareness
• Personal reflection practices can help shift focus from overwhelm to appreciation
• Support systems look different for everyone, and finding what works for you matters most
• Letting go of control can create more space for presence and emotional balance

About The Guest:

Kelsey Magnuson is a mom of 2 (ages 3 and 5) and lives outside Boston, Massachusetts. She has her Masters in Public Health and works full time as the Community Benefits Manager for a local non-profit health system. In addition to working, she leads a local mom group at her church once a month where moms come together to share in their experiences and deepen their faith. She is also in the process of launching a new podcast called Find Your Feathers which you can find on Instagram @findyourfeatherspodcast. She enjoys spending time with family, focusing on her health through fitness and nutrition and being active outside.

About The Host:

Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a family physician with a clinical focus on aesthetic medicine, women’s health, and psycho-education. Her work is grounded in a holistic, whole-person approach that integrates medical science with a deep appreciation of the mind–body connection. Alongside her clinical practice, she is deeply committed to medical education and mentors the next generation of family physicians through her work with the Department of Family Medicine at the University of British Columbia.

She is the founder of Reclaim The Pink Within, a community created to support women through life’s most profound transitions. This project was born from personal experience. After becoming a mother, Dr. Oliver-Dussault became aware of a quiet but profound shift in her sense of self, one she had long observed in her patients, yet only fully understood once she lived it herself. What had once been a clinical observation became a deeply personal insight, shaping the lens through which she now supports and guides other women.

You can connect with her on Instagram at @drchristellemd and @reclaimthepinkwithin

Website: www.getyourpinkbackproject.com

Email: [email protected]

Medical Disclaimer

The Reclaim The Pink Within podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only. The content shared in this podcast reflects the personal views and professional experiences of the host and guests and is not intended to replace medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

While Dr. Christelle Oliver-Dussault is a licensed physician, this podcast does not constitute a doctor–patient relationship. Always seek the advice of your own qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical or mental health concerns, diagnoses, or treatment decisions. Never disregard or delay seeking professional medical advice because of something you have heard on this podcast.

Thank You for Listening

Thank you for spending your time with us and for being part of the Reclaim The Pink Within community. This space exists because of women who are willing to listen, reflect, and engage in conversations that are often kept private. Whether you are in the midst of transition, questioning who you are becoming, or simply seeking connection, your presence here matters.

Your willingness to show up—for yourself and for others—is what makes this project possible.

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New episodes are released regularly, each offering insight, reflection, and shared experience.

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I think that I strive to be an optimistic person,

but there's again, kind of going back to. I strive

to find those moments of joy, to be able to journal. But there's definitely a

lot of moments of those, those journaling over the past five years that are

not that are the negative times. And I think that sometimes as

I've looked at that and progressed, it's sometimes helpful to see those

negative times to say, oh, I made it through that. And so I

think just the ability to have strength to make it through

that and to be able know, okay, that

was a season, and we're gonna get into a new season and things are gonna

keep changing. Welcome to Reclaim the Pink Within.

I'm joined today with a woman who reached out to

me through LinkedIn the beauties of the digital age, because

otherwise our paths wouldn't have crossed. She is a mum

of two and works in public health. And motherhood

had a significant impact on her like it does for Winnie women,

and made her reflect on what way she want

shape her career and her family life. So without

further ado, Kelsey, welcome. Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for having

me. I'm excited to be here, excited to do this. Yeah. I'm so glad that

you reach out to me at really, because you're all the way on the east

coast of the states. I'm on the west coast of Canada. So it's really wonderful

that we're able to make these connections. So before we kind

of dive into the motherhood, would you be able to share a little bit about

who you were before you became a mom, what your life looked like like back

then? I grew up in a small town in the middle

of Vermont, so maybe similar to some of the towns around

you and, you know, small town,

knew everyone, moved to Massachusetts and got

my degree in kinesiology and then got my

master's in public health and kind of was navigating

career life. I was always very social, hanging out with friends on the

weekends, doing some small traveling. Not a huge

traveler, but traveling and always active and focused

on my overall health. So very interested. I like to cook,

so a lot of free time spent trying different recipes and

entertaining friends and hanging out that way. So that was kind of life

before kids. And how did you imagine motherhood would

be like? Is that something you thought about before becoming a mum?

I thought about it. I've two older sisters and my husband

also has two older siblings. So we were surrounded by kids when we got

married. Our wedding had seven kids

as part of the ceremony and Even have

grown since then with more kids added to the family. So I think it was

always something that was something that I

thought I wanted, but I always had reservations around

it and was concerned and had fears around being what

would I be a good mom? I babysat a little bit, never

loved it and never felt like I was great with kids. Like I

watched other people hang out with kids and just love it. Or I

had people, you know, that would say, I can't wait to be a mom. That's

what I'm destined to be. And I never really felt like that. So I

knew that it was something that I wanted, but never. It was never going to

be all of me. Yeah, it was going to be one facet of

you. How would you describe your transition into motherhood

after your first child was born? An absolute

whirlwind. I did a lot of

preparation for birth and

pregnancy. Kind of wanting to know how best to take care of myself

during pregnancy and how I could best prepare for birth. So

my first was born in 2021, so kind of still Covid times

there weren't really in person birth classes or the traditional birth classes

that existed. So I signed up for something that was online and

was kind of a self paced course to be able to go through

different modules and education around that. We watched some

videos about birth, but definitely very focused on that event

less so what happens after. And so then when it came to

after she came, my oldest was

born. First of all, we didn't find out if it was a boy or a

girl. And I was shocked that it was a girl. And I sort of

like. And then

brought her home and was like, what do we do now? We

gotta figure this out. And so my method to

trying to figure it out was try to control as much as I could control

in that time of trying to create a schedule and really stick to that

schedule. And we all know that babies are on their own schedule and they do

things on their own time. And so I was never diagnosed with any

kind of postpartum depression or anxiety or any mood

disorder, but definitely was a difficult transition and the

circumstances hit me hard of navigating

those tiny decisions that you make all day long with a

newborn, of sleeping and eating and when to go out

and who to interact again. It was still kind of. She was

born in May, so I feel like we were a little bit lighter of being

able to be outside and interact with other people. But there were still decisions

of how are we exposing her to germs and

things like that. And I Was definitely very consumed with

all of those little decisions. And we are very

fortunate to have my father in law lives in the town next door from

us. And so he was. We knew that he was going to be our caregiver

and I was going to go back to work. I think that I

held that decision of going back to work lightly, of trying to just.

I wasn't sure how I was going to feel, but I was very much

ready to go back to work and just see how that worked out.

So I think it was the best decision for us and

our family of knowing that we had family, being able to support

and be a caregiver, additional caregiver in the family

helped us to be able to navigate that support system.

And how did you find that? How old was your daughter when you went back

to work? 3

and a half months old. So. Okay, so she's quite young.

Yeah. How did you find that transition?

I think there was

some guilt associated with it of leaving her.

I found comfort in knowing that she was with family, so that definitely

helped. But then I also

loved being away and being able to do different things. And I think that's where

some of the guilt came into was it wasn't that I was just away, it

was that I liked being away and navigating.

Oh, this is time that I can do something for me and I can

take care of myself in these different ways. And I have a flexible job that

allows me to, you know, I was working from home some, a little bit

in the office. And so when I was at home I could fold the laundry

or be able to get some things done that just helped

overall manage the transition of motherhood

and being able to feel like it wasn't absolute chaos

or there was no time to do anything.

You mentioned that guilt of wanting space for yourself.

Did you ever get the chance to reflect on why you felt that guilt or

where were there any perceived

thoughts or pressures that led you to feel

that emotion? I think that's something that I

still struggle with almost five years later of navigating it.

And I think that it comes from. I am surrounded by

a lot of women who are choosing to stay home. And

while I know that that is in the grand scheme of things the minority,

it's still very in my close circle. And so I think

that there's that aspect of comparison

and I think, you know, today's social media of making us

feel like no decision is the right decision, even though we know that it's the

right decision. So I think I've tried to Tackle

it as best as I can and kind of really reflect where it's coming from

and knowing that we're making. I'm making the decision, you know,

we're making the decision that's best for our family and what's

best for each of us in those different situations and finding comfort and

peace in that. Yeah, it can be hard to shit out thin away

sometimes because your normal sometimes will become

your surroundings, and that might not necessarily reflect your

values or how you wish to live your life within

your family. What are the aspects of motherhood

that you found the most challenging or continue to find the most

challenging? I think I go back to

those little decisions that there's just so many decisions that you make

throughout the day with your kids. And,

you know, at the beginning it was navigating the sleep and the

feeding. And now it's grown into still a little bit some of the sleep

and the feeding of, you know, preparing they eat six

times a day of what. What are they going to eat all day long

or navigating now as the kids are getting

a little bit older and they're being out with other people and wanting to

eat what other people are eating. You know, I don't have that full control of

what's being offered. So navigating all

that's being offered to them that way, or

the decisions of discipline and what we're letting

go of and what we're sticking, staying firm

on how we're handling those discipline

or behavioral challenges that sometimes.

Is it just a phase or is this an ongoing issue

that needs to be addressed? So again, it's just all of those

are a constant cycle of, okay, whether

I'm with them or not. It's constantly going through my mind of how we're navigating

each of those decisions. Yeah. So a lot of decision fatigue

and a lot of stress around that loss of control. How do you

find or have you found anything helpful in navigating that loss

of control that you might face organized

life? Yes, my

faith is really important to me. And so I think that letting go and praying

through that, you know, reading scripture and going back

to, you know, the foundation of our faith and knowing that we.

I believe that God is in control. And so I think that. That

I have to keep reminding myself of that on an ongoing

basis and surrounding myself with people that are

reminding me of that too. And you mentioned the

noise. It's putting the positive noise around

me as well. Yeah. Choosing what noise you let in and

what noise you reduce the volume

on. Was there a moment where you felt like you

didn't recognize yourself anymore or you felt very disconnected from

the person you once were.

I think I didn't. I don't have a

specific moment that I felt like that, but I think that it was,

you know, in those early days of my first

being born, feeling like I had made some

kind of mistake of again, not knowing how to navigate

all the changes. And so I think

it has taken time to find true joy

in having and being able to see all of the

small moments. So one thing that I

do or a practice that I have in place is I

have a journal that sits by my bed. And I've never been a journaler.

And it's called the one line a day for moms, I think

is what it's called. And so I just highlight something that

happened throughout the day. And I'm on year five.

It's a five year schedule. And I'm on year five of

doing it. And it's been something that's so cool to be able to

look back and look at all the one lines that I've put in

for the day. Many of them are more than one lines. And I think

that being able to find the positives of the

day and kind of highlight or have something that documents

the big and small moments of joy. So little, you know,

I've documented milestones of first steps

or first trips or interactions with different people.

But also little things like the

words that get said wrong or,

you know, just little moments,

little moments that I can document. And I think that that's helped me to,

you know, go back to that. And I think as they're getting older and more

independent and we're able to go out and do more things, it's

really shifted how I viewed motherhood. So I think that

sometimes it's important for us all to remember that there's different

phases for everything and we don't have to love every

phase. And it's okay if you don't love every phase.

Yeah, I think the journaling itself is

even just the one line. Cause it's not something that's too time intensive intensive.

And you're taking the time to just grab that snapshot. Because we

all have this internal negativity bias. So it's easy for us to go back

to just all the tantrums or feeling completely overwhelmed.

But when you make an effort to take those moments

of joy and map them out, it can really help. Particularly if

you're having days that are harder than others to reconnect with

a specific Moment that you put down on

paper, how did your transition from one to two kids go?

It was, I think, easier than I thought because my second was definitely an easier

baby. So I think that

it was being able to kind

of do over the baby phase again. A little bit of

going back and saying, how do we want to do this phase differently?

I think was really helpful and just to be able to try

as best as I could to. To enjoy those little

moments of snuggles and early days of

things. And I think that it's been, again, kind of going

back to the joy. So fun to see them interact and see

their relationship grow and evolve throughout the past

couple of years. And so, yeah,

it's been fun having them. And now that, again, they're getting more

independent, they're playing with each other a little bit more. That often ends up in

fights, but we're navigating that as well.

Just fun to see them interact and see them have little conversations with

themselves, with each other. Adding referee to the list of

jobs that you do as mum. Yep.

How did the transition to motherhood impact your relationships either

with your husband or friends or family? Did you notice a change in any

of those? Yeah, I think

with my husband, it's meant that we've needed 10 times more

communication of navigating again all of those little decisions

and me trying to be intentional about not always

keeping those decisions on myself. I know that there's a lot

of conversation about, you know, the mental load and how we're

sharing that. And I feel very fortunate to have a very

supportive partner who is so active in

caring and making these decisions. And

so it's me needing to say, okay, we're in this together, we're doing this

together. But with that means, okay, extra communication,

extra figuring it out and trying to find the time to be able to do

that, I think has definitely shifted things. And,

you know, we're not just disagreeing on where to go out to

dinner. We're disagreeing on how to handle

behavioral challenges and discipline and, you know,

where our kids are going to go to school or who they're going to hang

out with, and those, again, bigger kids, bigger problems, bigger

decisions. So navigating all of that. And then I think

that with friendships, it's affected it in the

sense of how we hang out. You know, before it was

just, oh, let's hang out, let's go do something. And there was

much less complexities to that. And now

it's sort of, okay, are we hanging out with the kids?

And how is that going to be. And that means that it's not going to

be as quality time, because it's going to be focused on the kids, and they're

going to have their own opinions and want to say things

versus, okay, are we spending time, you know, just me and

another person or me with a friend group and then finding

out or finding care and navigating the other

support that's gonna have the kids? Yeah.

Do you ever find that you have pressure to be, like, a certain woman or

a certain type of mother within the society that

you live in? I actually don't feel a lot of pressure,

which I feel like goes back to,

why do I feel that guilt? I'm not really sure. I think that I

feel very fortunate to be surrounded

by at work. I'm surrounded by mothers.

My social circle is surrounded by mothers. And so I think that

even in those different circles of how

we're making different decisions with our kids, I feel fortunate

to. Whether it's my own. Own walls that I've

put up that I don't let the pressure cave in, or it's just the situation

of surrounding myself with people who are letting us

make decisions that we feel are best for us. So I think that

I don't feel, even in those times of, oh, should

I be working? Or, oh, should I be hanging out with friends? I should be

with the kids. I don't feel like there's this external pressure

of other people making that decision for me. And so I think

that I feel very fortunate for that. I recently

went to a conference with working moms,

and there was a big conversation about, you know, motherhood in the

workplace. And I think I've just been really lucky to

have bosses and leadership that

supports motherhood and that flexibility and

navigating those challenges of working

and being a mom and other areas too.

In what way has your work supported you?

I have never felt,

you know, put down or punished

for needing to go to a doctor's appointment, for taking a sick

day, or even when it comes to

preschool celebrations or, you know,

a performance that's happening, that's always something that's

celebrated and supported of being able to go to those things.

And so I think that that in and of itself is just huge to be

able to have the flexibility and not necessarily have any negative

pressure of needing to take that time to do those things to. To be

the mom. Yeah. That's wonderful. Really nice to hear

that. What did you learn about yourself or

maybe discover about yourself in these first few years of

motherhood? I think I Knew I had control

issues, but it just took it to a new level

of, you know, wanting to control things and

how when things were out of my control, how uncomfortable I felt

in that. I also,

I think I have this, you know,

duality of pessimism versus optimism.

I think that I strive to be an optimistic person,

but there's again, kind of going back to. I

strive to find those moments of joy, to be able to journal. But there's

definitely a lot of moments of those, those journaling over the past five years

that are not. That are the negative times. And I think that sometimes

as I've looked at that and progressed, it's sometimes

helpful to see those negative times to say, oh, I made it through that.

And so I think just the ability to have strength to

make it through that and to be able to

know, okay, that was a season and we're gonna get into a

new season and things are gonna keep changing.

I think. Yeah, those are some things that I

feel like I've learned. Yeah, I'm glad you touched on the negative too, because

sometimes the journaling, even getting out those negative

thoughts on paper, will help you to

ruminate less. And as you said, reflecting back, you're like, oh, I'm noticing these

patterns and I am getting through the storm. I'm probably stronger than I realize.

I want to touch on some beautiful prints that you have in the

wall behind you. For those of you who are watching on YouTube, she's got

these beautiful watercolor flamingos. Tell me a

little bit about those. And that's probably going to lead you to talk to us

about your project that

led us to connect. Yeah. So

after my first was born, I was introduced

to the get your pink back movement and understanding that

when flamingos have their babies, they lose their pink, but they

can get it back too. And we as women can get our pink

back. And when we feel, you know, those early times

and times throughout our kids lives that

we feel just so depleted that we're giving everything to our kids,

there's times that we're gonna get. Get our back and our color and whatever

is meaningful to us and that's going to look different for every different person.

So for some people, that means getting back to work. For some people, that

means fitness and health and achieving,

you know, certain goals that you might set there, or it might

be spending time with your kids and watching them grow

and really truly giving to them. And that could be

getting your pink back too. So I just, I've been inspired

by this idea and so I want to find all of those

different women and be able to talk to them. So I've. I'm in the process

of launching a podcast called Find you'd Feathers,

inspired by the get yout Pink Back movement, and

interviewing women of how they're finding their feathers and

in all facets of life and all types of motherhood, you

know, their journey and what they're learning about themselves through

that process. That's wonderful. Yeah. I was

really excited to hear about your project, and it's always so nice to meet you.

Other women from a different part of the world who have had

a similar inspiration,

and I think there is a big need and desire

to share stories and share how multifaceted that

transition is, and it's not one size fits all. And

there's, you know, internal pressures we put on ourselves, like you mentioned,

that decision fatigue, the loss of control, and then there's those

external pressures that that noise sometimes comes in. And, you know,

you really eloquently talked about, you know, you know, letting in

the positive and letting out that that doesn't serve you.

So I'm really looking forward to listening

to your podcast. And for those of you who are listening now, if you're

wondering about where you can find all that information, I'll make sure to put it

all in the show notes so that you can find Kelsey's work

as well. Are there any words of wisdom, Kelsey,

that you'd like to share for either women who

are pregnant and about to have their first baby, or mothers

who are in the throes of it and feeling completely

depleted or feeling lost? I think

that a couple things. So one is finding community, whatever that

looks like. And that's part of why I wanted to do this, too, was to

be able to share stories that women are. You are not alone.

No matter what phase you're going through, and no matter what your situation is, there's

most likely someone else that's faced something similar. If it's not the exact

same with something similar or dealing with their own challenges.

I think that it's so easy to look at social

media or even the Persona that we might be

outside the house and how that differs from the trenches,

as we like to say. And so I think that bringing together

a community and being able to talk about it and talk about those challenges

is so helpful, not only for yourself, but also for

others. And I think, you know, just

knowing that everything is a phase and it's

constantly changing, and so if something is really hard right now, it's

probably not going to be hard for that long and if something is really great

right now, you're probably going to come up with some challenges soon

and we can be encouraged by that and

also reminded to enjoy all of the,

you know, the positive things that are happening too. I like to say instead of

the ups and the downs, it's the ups and the challenges of what we go

through through and finding, you know, joy in those and

community in the challenges and being able to rely on

others of how they've navigated it and

how we can navigate it too. Yeah, the ebbs and

the flows of motherhood and this too

shall pass the good and the bad. So thank you very much for

sharing your insights and if any of you have any questions

or would like to reach out, you can contact me at

infoclaimtheplinkwithin and I'll make sure to include

Kelsey's details down below if you'd like to reach out to her.

So until next time.