Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, What's really driving my decisions?

So often we think we're making choices based on wisdom or responsibility, but underneath the surface, fear may be influencing far more than we realize. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of disappointing others. Fear of not having enough. Fear of missing God's plan.

In this episode, Kristin explores a powerful insight from Peter Crone about how fear quietly shapes our lives and why we can never find peace by chasing safety through fear. Together, we'll look at what Scripture says about living from faith instead of fear and how curiosity, trust, and God's love can begin replacing anxiety as the foundation for our decisions.

If you've been overthinking, feeling stuck, or carrying constant worry, this episode will help you recognize what's been driving you and show you a better way forward.

Takeaways

• Fear often influences our choices more than we realize.
• Decisions rooted in fear rarely produce lasting peace.
• God's Word repeatedly calls us to live by faith instead of fear.
• Curiosity opens the door to growth, while fear keeps us stuck.
• Recognizing the fears beneath our actions is the first step toward freedom.
• We can replace fear based thinking with trust, peace, and God's truth.
• Living from love instead of fear changes the way we approach relationships, purpose, and everyday decisions.

Join us for Joy Camp Summer here - https://kristinfitch.com/joy

Grab the Rewire Your Mind: From Negativity to Joy- download here.

Grab the Joy Rising- Daily Gratitude & Joy Journal here.

Download My Free Joyful Living Devotional: https://kristinfitch.com/devotional

Ready to take your first step towards a more joyful, faith-filled life? Download our Reignite Your Passion Workbook and start living with purpose today!

faith over fear, overcoming fear, Christian women podcast, how to trust God, anxiety and faith, Christian encouragement, overthinking, fear and anxiety, renew your mind, Christian mindset, fear of failure, making decisions with confidence, living by faith, trusting God, Christian personal growth, overcoming worry, peace through faith, biblical encouragement, spiritual growth, Christian podcast for women

Hey.

Hey, friends, and welcome back to Faithfield Living.

This is your host, Kristin.

Today we're going to talk about what is driving us.

What is it that we're afraid of, or what is it that's behind our actions and decisions?

I can't wait to dig into this.

I heard something today that really hit home for me, and I want to share it with you.

And then I'm going to tie it back to scripture and how it tells us to live and how so many of us are stuck in anxiety and fear instead of how the Bible tells us that we can step into each day.

Welcome to Faith Fueled Living, the podcast for women who want to find joy again, grow closer to God, and rediscover the woman he created you to be.

I'm your host, Kristin Finch.

Each week you'll find encouragement, honest conversations, biblical perspective, and practical tools to help you experience more joy, purpose, and peace in everyday life.

Because the woman God created you to be is still there, and it's never too late to come alive to the life he created you to live.

Okay, so I heard something that Peter Crone said today, and a lot of, I guess he goes by the mind Architect, but he basically helps people get out of their heads or past hurt or things like that and kind of be present and then stop telling themselves, themselves the same story that's in their mind about who they are or who they are not.

And anyway, so it's really powerful listening to him work with people and the shifts happen quickly.

But here's what he was talking.

Oh, he was talking to a woman today in one of his, I guess, master classes or masterminds.

And she was just saying that she was struggling with, like, health anxiety.

Like she wanted to be healthy because her cousin, who was pretty young at the time, passed away.

And so she has this fear of, like, not being healthy, right.

Or getting sick or dying.

And so, you know, he was talking to her about that, and then this is sort of what they went over.

And I'm telling you, it.

Wow, it hit me.

So it might hit you, too.

So basically, he said anytime you're seeking.

So she was fearful of being sick.

And.

And she's.

She was carrying the weight of all that.

Right?

She had all this anxiety around not being healthy.

So she was doing everything.

She was taking, you know, the best supplement.

She was learning Ayurveda, which is a very traditional holistic type health module or, I guess, way of living.

But anyway, so she's doing all these things to try to be healthy.

So he goes on to Say that if what are.

If what we're choosing, right?

If our actions or our behaviors or our choices are driven by fear, like her fear of not being healthy, then nothing will get resolved because we just stay in this loop of anxiety, right?

Of worrying about not being healthy instead of trying to just enjoy our health.

And so he goes on to explain that most humans are seeking for.

We're seeking for more money or love or health or fill in the blank.

But his point is we're seeking.

And when we seek, it's a place that we're coming to from being scared or of fear.

Meaning we're not just saying, like, I want to be healthy and I am a healthy person and so I make healthy choices.

We're doing it because, let's say we don't have a significant other, so we're always like, oh, no, I don't want to be alone, so I want to find somebody.

In other words, what are we being driven by for the thing?

And then where are we coming?

What's the place we're coming from?

So he goes on to say, you'll never find anything by seeking because you're being driven by the absence of it.

But absence is like darkness.

In other words, darkness will never light the room.

And, you know, basically says you have to come from a place of exploration, right?

Of.

This is my words, but curiosity.

You have to approach things from a place of love and exploration, and the difference changes everything.

Meaning if you showed up, and let's just use the example of wanting to find a partner, you know, a spouse, if you showed up and it was like, ah, I can't wait to meet, like, my future person, I'm so excited.

Like, I. I'm just.

Everything about it, you know, gets me giddy.

And I want to have a family that is very different.

And so in getting curious about people you meet and wanting to know them better so that you can one maybe find that special person versus wanting to meet somebody because you're afraid to be alone, right?

For the next many decades.

And so, you know, just this just got me thinking.

And where in my life am I running?

Like, is the operating system in my thoughts or the story I'm telling it?

Is it running in the background on fear or worry or angst or, you know, like, I need this thing because I don't have it or I should say, or.

And where am I running thoughts and things from a place of love and interest and curiosity.

And so I'm going to share some scriptures, scriptures with you today.

But I think it's worth thinking about this because I'm going to be honest with you, sometimes with health metrics, I do find myself coming from a place of worry.

What do I mean by that?

Well, I take supplements and I have a lot of healthy choices, right.

But of course, I also have other things I do that could be better, right?

Maybe, you know, when I eat out, I pick the nachos or I enjoy, you know, wine, things like that.

But I do a lot of, you know, so in this, if I had to put a line down the sheet, I have all these healthy behaviors and choices, but then on the other side, there's some that aren't as healthy.

And the point is, when I choose those things, am I then worried?

Like, oh, is this bad for me?

And so then I get stuck in the anxiety of it, or the fear, or I'm putting focus on, like, am I trying to make healthy choices because I'm afraid of not being healthy, or is it because I am healthy and because I love myself and I want to show up as best I can for the people around me and to serve the world.

And that's one example.

But the another one is at different times in my life, depending on what's going on, if I've wanted to change my financial situation, I was focused on the lack of it, right?

Or that I wanted more of it.

You know, maybe it wasn't where I wanted to hit, so then I was focused on that instead of just showing up to serve only.

But do you see how it can change things?

And I don't know about you, but if I started looking through a lens and saying what's behind it, like, what's behind my choices and my patterns, my thoughts and everything, wow.

Would I start showing up different when I start shifting my.

What's behind what I'm doing?

Would I start talking to myself differently?

And I have to be honest, there's a lot of times where I talk, I try to talk pretty positive, right?

And speak into myself in my life, what God says.

Right.

About me.

But.

But I definitely easily can get stuck in worry and fear and anxiety.

I mean, if I'm being honest, the other night I was having dinner with my family and one of my sons said something.

And it wasn't that it was bad at all.

It was that it just caused such.

What's the right word?

I guess you could say fear and worry in me that I stepped away from the table and literally I went outside and did some stuff in my garden because I was just so upset I couldn't come and come to the table.

I felt so bad, but it's because one of my sons is going to be moving soon.

And the idea that he's going to be far and, you know, like I said, his comment, it just, it kind of shook me.

But it wasn't because of his comment.

It was because of the story I was telling myself about, you know, what if this went really right, but what if he wasn't happy there?

Right.

I started playing this whole thing in my head and feeling bad about, you know, like, him being far and taking and accepting this new opportunity.

So my point, though is if I had just stayed in the mindset of, this is going to be amazing.

This is going to be such a good opportunity.

If I had stayed there, that wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't have been gone from dinner for 30 minutes.

So I can absolutely see how even though I've done a lot of work and I stay in a good mental state a lot, I still have these patterns that come, you know, they crop up still in my life.

And so maybe you can relate to this as well.

But I thought it was really powerful.

Right.

So in other words, we don't want to be seeking, we want to be exploring.

We want to approach it from love and service and exploration, you know, and like I said, curiosity.

Okay.

And before I share a couple scriptures with you, I did want to share this.

I recorded the first part of this episode, see, a day ago, and I just.

I ran out of time to get it finished.

And what's interesting about that is, is something I. I saw something else today that just connected even more for me about this idea.

And what I love is sometimes when we're forcing something or trying to finish something and there's.

There's like super resistance.

Maybe we weren't meant to finish it yet.

Maybe the whole download, the message hasn't come through.

And so I want to share something that I read by Lucida, Lucida Meyer, and she's sharing on her Instagram that she learned from, I guess, an LA producer, the black coffee theory.

I don't know if you've heard that, but it really connects to the idea of what is it that we're going after and for what reason?

But it also, then I'm going to tie it to that.

Jesus in the Bible asks things like, what do you want?

You know, or what are you seeking?

Or what do you want me to do?

And it's very tied to this.

And so here is the idea of the black coffee theory.

Basically, somebody walks into a coffee shop, and they're, you know, trying to decide what they want.

And the barista asks them, you know, what do you want?

And they just.

The person says, I just.

I just don't want black coffee.

But they don't know what they want.

And so, of course, the barista is like, okay.

So she lets her think a little longer, and she goes and makes more of her drink, of other people's drink orders.

And the barista walks away, is doing these orders.

And the only thing that she remembers about what that person said was black coffee.

Because that's the only thing that this person, right, that's about to order, drink, said.

And so here is what Licita goes on to explain about this idea.

She says, okay, so why did.

Why is the black coffee the only thing the barista remembered?

And it's because that's all the person talked about, and that's how most of us are moving through life.

She explains, in other words, we're saying, I don't want this, I don't want that.

I don't want this.

I know I don't want that, but I don't know what I want.

And then here's the two statements she makes that I just.

I just.

It really hit me.

She says, but saying I don't want black coffee or I don't want to be stressed or I don't want to look this way or whatever it might be.

I don't want to be in this financial situation.

She says, but that's not.

That isn't direction.

That's resistance.

And she says, you're not choosing where you're going.

You're just describing what you're running from, right?

So it's seeking.

Because, in other words, when we're seeking something, it's because of the absence of it, right?

Like we're trying to fill in a hole or a gap or something that we don't believe is enough right now.

And this is the same idea.

If we don't know what we want, then we can't be moving towards it.

We can only be stuck in resistance because we keep describing what we don't want or where we're stuck or feel stuck.

And so anyway, so she goes on to explain that when your focus stays on what you don't want, that's what stays front and center.

And she says, even when you think you're trying to move past it, it's kind of like the idea that if you keep repeating, like, I was talking about a story or thoughts in your head, or you Keep speaking life into what you don't want.

Like, I'm so broke, I never have enough money.

You know, I'm poor, okay?

That's if it's financially.

Or maybe you say, I always pick the wrong person.

You know, I have terrible, terrible relationships.

I pick the wrong guys, whatever it is.

But you just keep speaking what you don't want instead of speaking what you do want, right?

That you're going to meet, you know, an amazing, amazing person, a faith person, somebody that's loving and kind and, you know, godly things like that.

So then she goes on to say, once you see it, you start to notice it everywhere.

She says it's in conversations and goals, the way people talk about their lives.

And then she says, but if you ask a different question, what are you actually ordering?

What are you actually choosing?

What do you actually want?

Right?

We want to choose on purpose.

And basically, in the Bible, I think they say it is more than.

There's more.

Jesus asked more than 300, 300 questions of people in the four Gospels, but probably two that you've definitely heard of is he asks the blind man Bartimas what he would like.

He asked Barnabas what he would like Jesus or him to do for him.

And Barnabas says he would like.

He wants to see.

And so Jesus, you know, gives him sight and he says, you know, your faith has healed you.

So that's one example, right, of God asking us, what do you want?

And then another time, his disciples asked him.

I'm sorry, Jesus asked his disciples, I think it was John and James, what they wanted.

Now, their response wasn't necessarily aligned with their faith or with Jesus.

And so he challenged them on it.

But my point is God wants us to be in a deeper relationship with him.

And when we act, when we know what we want, when we align it with what God wants for us and what he's put us here to do, things start to line up.

But I just thought, wow, this whole black coffee theory makes so much sense, right?

Because in other words, we have to know what we want and we have to go towards the positive of it, right?

Not we don't want to keep moving towards what we don't want or making choices from a place of what we don't want.

Okay?

So I just thought, wow, that's.

It just hit home for me, those two ideas.

And, you know, maybe some piece of this will hit home for you, too.

You know, what.

What is it you're focusing on?

Do you know what you want?

Are you going after it?

But are you going after it for the right reasons, from the right mindset, in the right heart, you know, place of your heart, not from the place of fear or absence.

Right?

Because you know, you're.

You feel like you're.

I guess some people say that's like coming from a place of lack versus abundance.

But God promises us so many things, right?

He doesn't.

He never says so.

I'm going to share a couple scriptures with you.

God tells us not to be afraid.

He tells us not to be fearful.

He tells us not to worry, but he tells us to show up in love.

And he also explains that there, when we are coming from a place of love, we are love.

There is no place for fear.

It's kind of like the darkness versus the light.

When we're love, when we're light in the world, we do light up the room.

We are beacons.

But when we come out of a place of fear, there is no light in that, there is no love, because it can't be both at one time.

So 1 John 4:18 says, There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, for fear has to do with punishment.

And whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

So when we show up in love, when we partner with God, we can show up in love instead of fear.

But like he says, for fear has to do with punishment.

In other words, when we are afraid, when we are in anxious thoughts, when we're worrying, we're punishing ourselves.

Like, in other words, we're not helping anyone.

Definitely we're not helping ourselves.

But how can we be present and help other people when we're stuck in fear?

We are not rising to the occasion to be able to partner with Christ and actually show up in the world the way He God, wants us to when we show up in fear.

So here's another thing that he says.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God and what is good and acceptable and Perfect.

That's Romans 12:2.

And another one is Galatians 5, 13, 14, which says, for you were called to freedom, brothers only, do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love, serve one another.

For the whole law is fulfilled in one word.

You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

Well, think about flesh as it really is, going back to our mind.

And when we get caught up in our thoughts, instead of just showing up to serve and love each other, then once again we can't really love our neighbor well as ourself when we can't get out of our own head.

Okay, another one.

One other one I'll share with you is.

Let's see.

Fear not, for I am with you.

Be not dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and I will help you, and I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

And here's the thing.

Throughout the Bible, it talks about these things so much, right?

Like, don't be anxious, do not worry, to renew our minds each day.

So, right.

Getting in Scripture, getting in God's word.

Because when we do that and when we continue to do it throughout the day, we're able to try to stay out of this anxious and this worry and instead focus on showing up the way God wants us to show up in the world.

And I read something interesting by.

Let's see if I can find it by Rainier Wild.

He's an artist, but he's in a. I think a writer.

And he basically helps people kind of express themselves, you know, be creative and creators in the world.

And so he has this.

I don't know if it's a master class, but it's called Shameless Creativity.

And he said this about shame because at first I thought, oh, shame, I don't have shame, right?

Like, that's.

That's how I thought.

And the reason this is relevant is it goes back to this fear, and it goes back to seeking for the wrong reasons or not showing up in love.

So here's what he says.

The thing about shame, it shows up as editing, self containment, as the joke you swallow down, the idea you don't pitch, or the version of yourself you keep tucking away and making smaller so the room stays comfortable, you start to call it being polite or having manners.

It isn't manners.

It's exile.

And you're the one doing the exiling.

One of the hardest parts of creating isn't about talent.

It's about.

It's believing you no longer need to shrink, perform, or ask permission to become who you already are.

In other words, when we stay anxious or we worry or we think we care what people think, if we're doing it because we're afraid if we don't do it, of the outcome, or we're afraid to show up for ourselves and do the work that God has put us in this world to do, whatever that might be, because we're all creative, right?

We're.

You're part of the Creator, and he's made us to be to be able to do things, like unique things in the world.

And so.

But the reason I shared this, because you might think, well, that's about creativity or making something.

Well, that's true.

And I think it's super important that we show up and do that.

But it was the idea of it that not doing things, editing ourselves, self containment about, exiling ourselves about, is another form of operating out of a place of fear or, or of absence.

Right?

Like I don't want to be too much.

I don't want someone to think that what I'm doing, silly.

So in other words, all of these things, there's a through line.

And the through line is, are we being curious?

Are we exploring?

Are we showing up in love?

And are we stepping into who God made us to be?

Or are we letting the world in the messages it shares with us, dictate how we show up?

In other words, if we're always shrinking or we're asking permission for before we try something, if we're hesitating, if we're acting out of that idea of absence, like I'm afraid, you know, I, I'm.

I'm operating out of lack, right?

Like I don't have enough of something or I'm afraid I'll never have the thing that I want or most want.

And so today I only share all of these different ideas with you that have a similar through line.

Because we need to be present, we need to be aware of how we're showing up.

We need to be aware of what is behind how we think, what's behind how we act, what's behind either us moving forward or staying stuck where we're at and then what's driving us?

What are we running on?

Is it what we're scared of that's running us?

The story that we keep hearing or thinking about in our heads, that we're not enough.

And so I just encourage you think about this, write down what comes up for you when you heard some of these ideas.

Did something resonate with you that I shared either scripture or some of the people's ideas I shared with you, or some of the stories I shared with you?

Because I think when we take time to think about where we're at and what's going on, we can show up really different in the world.

And I think that's so freeing.

And I also think it's how God wants us to show up.

As I first started off this episode talking about the master class Peter Crone was sharing about, I've seen some other clips of his and the one I saw today was basically an older gentleman.

I say older, probably my age.

I just meant, you know, not a younger person.

And he said he struggles with procrastination.

And Peter said, you know, what's behind that?

And anyways, they basically got to the bottom of it.

And feeling bad about procrastinating is basically us judging ourselves.

And they were explaining that, you know, and he explained where that came from.

And the gentleman that he was talking to explained that he was never celebrated right most of his life.

But growing up, for sure, his dad was harsh and he was always critical, and no matter what he did, it wasn't enough, right?

If it was sports, even if he had a great game, he scored lots of goals.

The dad always complained and yelled at him, and he was abusive things.

But my point of that example is just to say, what are we holding on to?

And basically Peter explained to him, like, what's the lie you're believing?

And the lie he was believing is that no matter what he did, it wasn't good enough.

So everything felt like procrastination, like it wasn't enough.

And I don't know about you, but I know a lot of women, we get caught up in that.

We can't rest because we haven't finished everything.

There's always something someone else needs us to do.

And so we continue to go from a place of having to perform before we rest.

And God did not design us that way.

He did not design the world that way.

He act.

I mean, the Bible actually talks about rest before we get up the next day and work.

And yet so many of us get caught in these lives that we can't take a break or we can't have, you know, enjoyment or whatever it might be.

So I'm only sharing all this with you to say, where are you operating from?

And is.

Is there some area in your life that you need to think about?

What are you running on?

Right.

What's that operating system that's running.

Running your system?

And for anybody that some of this resonated with today, I have two things to share for you.

One is head over to KristinFitch.com and grab my Rewire your Mind workbook.

It's absolutely free to download.

If you go to my website, it's my workbooks page.

Just scroll down a little bit.

The second thing is this summer, I'm doing Joy Camp Summer.

And it's basically inviting you to experience more joy in your life.

And so if you haven't already, and if you're not getting my emails.

Just go to Kristin Fitch.com joy and sign up and you'll get my emails that I'm putting out this summer.

So I can't wait to share my next episode with you.

It's going to be shorter, but it's going to be really good.

So come back next week and join me.

And until next week, I hope you that you find yourself being curious and exploring what it is that you're stepping into in your life and what are the reasons you're stepping into those things.

If you enjoyed today's episode, if you could leave a rating review on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to podcasts, it helps the show get discovered by more people so that we can continue to uplift and encourage people in their faith journey as well as all of the other parts of their lives.