Today is National Coaches Day, so I’m celebrating (and low-key roasting) the people who stand on the sideline yelling stuff you already knew — “Move,” “Smile,” “Keep your head up.” I riff through the best dumb-but-hilarious coaching moments from Arkansas folks like Dana Altman, John L. Smith and Sam Pittman — yeah, that legendary “I didn’t know what to do” pep talk made the highlight reel. I even joke about a fake greatest-hits album, “Now That’s What I Call Coaching,” because who doesn’t want motivational wisdom remixed into pure chaos? We keep it silly, sarcastic, and loving — coaches teach discipline and teamwork, but sometimes they teach how to lose with style. Oh, and on the real note: proceeds from our gag benefit the Arkansas Edge NIL program, so laughs do some good too.
Takeaways:
I riff on National Coaches Day, poking fun at sideline yelling and obvious coaching clichés — “Move, get back, keep your head up.”
We roast Arkansas coaching moments, joking that some coaches got real good at teaching how to lose.
I pitch a fake 'Now That's What I Call Coaching' greatest-hits album, with proceeds benefitting the Arkansas Edge NIL program.
I play clips of Dana Altman's excited 'I am excited' lines, Houston Dale Nut's rare 'called play' moment, John L. Smith's 'Smile', and Sam Pittman's 'I didn't know what to do'.
We still tip a hat to coaches for teaching discipline, preparation, and teamwork — way more than just X's and O's.
Transcripts
Speaker A:
It's haystack.
Speaker A:
And Today is the 6th day of October, and there's a couple of silly holidays.
Speaker A:
I'm going to talk about today, the first of which, National Coaches Day.
Speaker A:
So give some X's and O's to the guys who scribble the X's and O's.
Speaker A:
Today we honor the people who stand on the sideline and yell things that you already know.
Speaker A:
Move.
Speaker A:
Get back.
Speaker A:
Keep your head up.
Speaker A:
Well, thanks, coach.
Speaker A:
I had planned to just stop moving entirely until you said move.
Speaker A:
Seriously, though, coaches are pretty great.
Speaker A:
They're a big part of sports.
Speaker A:
And great coaches teach more than X's and O's.
Speaker A:
They teach discipline, preparation, teamwork.
Speaker A:
And in Arkansas's case, I guess they get really good at teaching how to lose.
Speaker A:
In fact, some coaches are really, really good at that part.
Speaker A:
And now you can enjoy the greatest hits.
Speaker A:
It's National Coaches Day.
Speaker A:
Celebrate the greatest moments in motivation all on one album.
Speaker A:
Now that's what I call coaching.
Speaker A:
hours in:
Speaker B:
But I am excited about the future.
Speaker B:
I am excited about being your basketball coach.
Speaker B:
We're all excited about being here.
Speaker A:
And who can forget the excitement from the head hong when after nearly a decade on the job, Houston Dale Nut finally made one good play call.
Speaker A:
That was.
Speaker C:
A called play.
Speaker C:
And I called it, Chuck.
Speaker C:
All right.
Speaker C:
Well, congratulations, coach.
Speaker C:
I made some good calls today.
Speaker C:
You sure.
Speaker A:
Did.
Speaker A:
You sure did.
Speaker A:
Plus, who can forget this nugget of wisdom from interim football coach John L. Smith?
Speaker A:
Smile.
Speaker A:
Smile.
Speaker A:
Okay.
Speaker A:
Hey, you guys all right?
Speaker A:
If not, I'm not talking.
Speaker A:
And of course, the number one all time greatest quote to inspire confidence in a team from coach Sam Pittman.
Speaker A:
I.
Speaker B:
Didn't know what to do, to be perfectly honest with you.
Speaker B:
That's.
Speaker B:
That's the truth.
Speaker A:
Now that's what I call coaching.
Speaker A:
Get your copy today and you'll say, if I was a fan, I'd be mad at me, too.
Speaker A:
I'd be frustrated as hell with me.
Speaker A:
Proceeds from now that's what I call coaching Benefit the Arkansas Edge Nil program.
