In the fifth episode of the Falcon’s Nest Podcast, host Parthi Shah sits down with Linda and Lou Van De Vorst to discuss how impaired driving impacted their family, how to prevent it in your community and share some advice regarding grief.

This episode of the Falcon’s Nest Podcast contains descriptions of death, trauma and other topics our listening may find upsetting. Please be aware of these possible triggers.

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Hosted by Parthi Shah & Liam McKay-Argyriou

Edited by: Blues Boldis, Marius Greyeyes & Brennon Glenister

The Falcon’s Nest Podcast

Mr. And Mrs. Van der Vorst thank you for joining us on today's episode, we believe leave a strong impact on our listeners and spread awareness on road safety and help young drivers on the road.

Before we get started, would you like to introduce yourselves for a bit and talk a little bit about your loved ones who were tragically involved in the accident? Sure. So yeah.

Lou Van De Vorst. Little bit of background about myself. I spent my working career in retail store and then I moved on to driver education and I worked. My final job was at SGI as a claims adjuster. So I was really involved in traffic collisions and that kind of thing before our crash happened. I'm Linda Van der Vorst.

avid photographer and as soon as as a hobby, Katherine McPhee, the other party involved in the crash she had dinner cart documents stated that she had consumed two bottles of wine full bottles of wine prior to while she was cooking dinner and consuming dinner. And then after that, she went out to one of the bars was called the industrial bar. And she spent some time there. I don't know how much she actually had to drink at that time, but she had more to drink. When she decided to leave the bar. Somebody offered her a ride to get home and she refused that ride. And then she got into her car and drove over to her second bar, which is in the north end here. And she was served one beer and then the server there because they knew she was too intoxicated. They didn't stop her from getting back into her car and driving away. She thought she was going home. She actually had a north on one escape and Jordan and Chanda were on Highway 11 when the crash happened at the intersection of Highway 11 and one escape and Catherine McKee was had blood alcohol content of three times the legal limit. She missed the stop sign missed. rumble strips, drove past two lanes on that highway, go the northbound lanes, drove through the median and then hit Jordan was going south on that highway to get home. She broadsided his car pushed them into the ditch. Jordan and Chanda were both killed on impact. The two young ones were buckled into their seat in the backseat. They needed to cut the roof off and the doors off of the vehicle in order to get everybody out of the car. We found out about three o'clock 315 That morning that there was a crash. And then we spent the rest of Sunday and most of Monday had the hospital who'd like to say at 10 to three when we we were in bad. We got the phone call and the phone call asked if we were if I was Mrs. Van der Vorst. And it was Saskatoon city police at the door and they said could you please open the door so we can come in? When you get a phone call in the middle of the night like that? You know, it's not good news. And you're never ready for that at all to when he came into the door and gave us that horrific news. You don't think right? You don't you can't grasp what's happening to be told your son and your daughter in law were killed. And now you've got two grandchildren that are clinging to life at that point. And while we were while Lou was discussing it with the Saskatoon police officer he received a phone call from the neurosurgeon who handed the phone over to Lou and said Your granddaughter is on life support. If you want to see your grandson alive, you need to come to the hospital. So when you get news like that, you know, it's not good. And there's going to be lots of stuff that you have to do with regards to that we were I phoned all the family that morning. phoned my daughter who lived here in Saskatoon and spoke to my son in law, asked them to come down to a pediatric intensive care did not tell them that Jordan and Chanda had been killed, but only that there had been a bad crash and the kids were in pediatric intensive care at that time. And then I found my son and my youngest daughter who both were in Calgary at that time, asked them to come home as soon as they could. And then we waited for the rest of Shannon's family to come to the hospital. And they took McGuire off of life support. Because he was already they could tell he was brain dead from the crash and they took him off of

life support. One of our worst memories of that night was having to tell our daughter that Jordan and Chanda had passed away and it was really horrific to have to tell her that we spent Sunday and because they asked us about organ transplant and turns out that Cameron was the only viable for organ transplant Jordan and and Chanda were okay for tissue transplant but not for their organs. So we waited in the hospital after that after we gave permission go I was too young to donate anything. We waited until Monday afternoon after the crash. So we spent from about 330 in the morning, Sunday morning to Monday afternoon about one o'clock where when they took Cameron down to because the organ transplant teams were had arrived. And they had he had arranged for her to donate five of her organs at that time. So that's basically what happened. Catherine McKay was taken to the same hospital. She was tested for blood alcohol content she had, like I said, tripled the legal level.

But she thought that she did not know what had happened. She thought that Jordan and Chanda had hit her car which was totally inaccurate. She had broadsided his vehicle, and they ended up in the ditch and narrowly missed another vehicle who was Traveling northbound on that highway. What would you say, has been a very big change in your family since the loss of your loved ones? And how have both you and your wife coped with the loss as well as your daughter and her family? Well, to start with, I mean, when you lose, we used to have 14 people around our table at family gatherings. And Jordan and Chanda, and their family had, you know, come over just about every week for Sunday dinner, visited lots with them. We were really involved with the grandkids, and we spent a lot of time with them. So that completely changed after that. So we did not have the for a while was really hard to get everybody all together in our home because they they our home had too many memories for them to deal with. And I can understand that was hard to do. We still get together but there's always a sense of loss, you know, that surrounds us always. I think when you think of 14 people, you've got 14 birthdays that come up in a year, every one of them is affected because we always had a party. And now you just know that there's something missing. There's the things that Jordan and Chandra and the kids brought to each event was was unbelievable. The laughter We miss the laughter the group laughter There's the Mother's Day, the Father's Day, there's Thanksgiving, the Christmas season was so special, and it is supposed to be special. But from November till the end of January flew and I struggle with that it's hard to just get motivated to put the Christmas lights on and do the things that we used to do because they're missing McGuire's birthday, for example, is the same birthday as one of our kids, we don't celebrate that anymore is just too hard. We just pass on the day. How has it affected us? When I hear that there's another family that has lost a child or an adult or a family member due to an impaired driving, I cringe. I cringe why? Because I know what that family is going to go through from that day till the end of life. It doesn't go away. The loss is there, the hurt is there, the pain is there. And it's totally a preventable reason. It's just It doesn't have to happen. So with all those things that we've lost, there's things that we have had to change in our life. We spend a lot of time, you know, going and speaking and doing some presentations to different groups, whoever asked us we we come in and we do presentations such as this one, how we talk about the circumstances of the accident, we talked about, you know, what could have been different we talk about our life. Since then we talk about the choices and consequences people need to make in terms of preventing unnecessary deaths and injuries because somebody gets into his car or her car, when they're impaired, whether it's by drugs or by alcohol or anything else like that. So we spend a lot of our time doing that. And in trying to make our province safer. For people who are driving on the road Jordan and Chanda there was no alcohol in their in their system. The autopsy results came back that there was no he hadn't been drinking at all that night toxicology report rather showed that he was he hadn't had anything to drink at all that night. And I really and I strongly believe that people have you don't have the right necessarily to drive. But you do have the right to get home safely when you go somewhere. And Catherine McKay, the person who was involved in that crash took that away from her family, because she did not have the right to drive when she was impaired. And she went into her car and got into her car and started driving. Not only did we have experienced this loss, there were so many other people that were involved. And I think it's important to know that a crash doesn't only involve the family. It involves the police officers who were at the scene one RCMP officer actually held Maguire's hand as he gave him his last little squeeze. There was the fire department all the members of the fire department that showed up there was the paramedics that tow truck drivers, the hospital staff that had to deal with this. The doctors, the surgeons, the nurses, the babysitter that the kids were supposed to go to the next day, Jordan and Chandra's coworkers cameras just started elementary school. It was kindergarten first day back after Christmas. Well, someone had to call the school and let that teach

you'd know that Cameron wasn't coming back. And she had to tell all these young classmates that their that their classmates not coming back, the public's involved. It's just it's not just limited to the family, when you have a collision crash that involves death from an impaired driver, or someone who's drug impaired, it goes far beyond, and everyone is affected, and people have to realize it's not worth it. Don't do it. What do you think could have been done to prevent the accident? And what changes would you like to see in the future to prevent similar tragedies? In others family? Well, first of all, Catherine made a bad choice, she had problems. And instead of reaching out and trying to get help from her problems from other people, she decided to get into drinking alcohol to try and solve her problems or to ease the pain of her problems. That was a bad choice. But the worst choice was is that she got into her car and drove away. So that's one thing, when you when you talk about impaired are people who are impaired more often than not like Catherine knew, or there's people there that knew she was impaired to impair to dry in the first bar that she was at one of the the people employed at the bar offered her a ride home to get home. And she refused. And she got into her car, the it was a good thing that he offered her a ride home. However, it didn't, he stopped right there and didn't go any further, he just let her drive away. And in the second bar, they stopped serving her, which is the right thing to do, because she's too impaired too intoxicated to drive. But again, nobody tried to stop her. Nobody tried to take her keys away, nobody called the police. And we have a very good system. Very good reporting system. And in Saskatchewan report impaired drivers and the police are more than happy to take your calls. They're completely anonymous, that makes people the police cannot be everywhere, all the time that they are limited in their resources. And and people who notice somebody who might be impaired, maybe you don't have to prove that they're impaired, but they might be impaired because of various things, weaving in the lanes going too slow, going too fast. going the wrong way down the highway, all those kinds of things are hints that somebody's there's something wrong with that person, whether they're impaired by drugs or alcohol, maybe they're sleepy, anything like that. But the point is, is that red is for impaired driving. And and the police are very, very happy to take a call and go and investigate that call. And they would much sooner take that call and go and investigate that call and have to go and take a report and then go to somebody's home and say your son or your daughter got killed in car crash, whether they were impaired at the time or whether they it was an impaired driver who killed them. So that's that's another thing. And that's the 911 Call Report impaired driving, don't hesitate to call. You don't have to worry if you're the judge, the police will figure that out themselves, but you're just saving life. Another thing is stronger sanctions would be really helpful to prevent similar tragedies from occurring in the future. Right now. It's a three day suspension. And that is just a slap on the hand, I would like to see longer suspensions and vehicle impairment, for example, 30 days, that will certainly hurt and it'll hurt your pocketbook, it'll be inconvenient, because you don't have a car to drive around him. Others would be affected by it, your family would be affected your work, when you have a 30 day suspension and have to pay all the costs and have the inconvenience, you're sure as heck not going to do it again. Or I would hope you wouldn't, because it really does affect you and your family and the people around you. Another thing I'd like to see is more education on the effects of alcohol and drug impairment. And its effect on society. I think education is so important and it needs there needs to be more of it. And I need another thing is all individuals to become more socially responsible, making strong choices in calling out if you see someone that's possibly impaired. There's also one other thing that we haven't heard much about right now. But there's an anti impairment technology that is already present in cars in car manufacturers, we need to speak to the government to get this technology into vehicles. It's an amazing thing that that they could do. For example, the technical some of the technologies is maybe a camera to see maybe your eyes are are not focusing on the road or maybe you're falling asleep. There's that there's also the if you're going off the lane, it will alert you there's just so many other things and not only will it help imperative, it also helps if you're having a stroke or a medical problem. So these are the things

Is that I would like to see in the future that would come out that would stop people from dying in crashes. What message or word of advice would you share to people, especially teens, and ones with family. Of course, the biggest message, of course, is always to plan, you're going out, you know, there may be alcohol or drugs being served or consumed. Leave your keys at home, don't take your own car, plan a safe ride home. So the first part about that is if you don't drive yourself, then you're gonna have to find a way away home. And there's all kinds of different ways to get home, whether it's by a friend who is not impaired, who has not been drinking,

Ubers, taxis, anything like that. There's a number of different ways to make sure that you get home safely, stay overnight somewhere, take a bus, if you if you have to. There's there's a lot of ways to do that. That's the first thing, plan a safe ride home. And always plan a secondary, have a backup plan, talk to your parents make an agreement with your parents, and there's a lot of teenagers that have their driver's license already. And it's not just teens that get impaired driving charges. It's adults, it's it's people who are 50. And over that they also have, there's an issue with impaired driving in that age bracket. Make making a pact with your parents that if they need a ride home, you can go and get them, pick them up and drive them make a safe plan for both. And then make a plan with your parents that if you're going out and there's drunk drugs or alcohol served, they'll come and get you no judgment, just get you home safe. That's the main thing more than anything else is to get home safe. And that's what I would say. The other thing I would like to say is, if you're in the situation like we are in where we have dealing with grief and the loss of a loved one, there's there's different ways that you can get help to get you what's the best way to cope with it, help you cope with it, because your grief is always going to be there, you're always going to be missing that person whom you've lost. And you're always going to be grieving that person whom you've lost. And sometimes it's worse than others. So it's always it's a good thing to do is to get get help if you need help for that. And for me, I would like to say, you don't always get a second chance, don't take a chance. Don't get into a car with an impaired driver. And don't drive impaired. Life is too precious. Your family loves you. And we're working hard for Jordan and Chanda and their kids to get that message out that life is precious, you're only guaranteed this moment. So you use this moment wisely. So going back to grieving?

Are there any additional support or resources that have helped you and how have you grieved through this experience? Well, I can say first off is that

everybody grieves in a different way, Linda dealt with her grief by doing certain things and getting really busy. And whereas me I'm more reserved and kept to myself quite a bit, a lot of times, coping with grief is different. I read a couple of things that the grief is sort of like a storm that capsizes your ship in it and you get your first are waves are constant, and they're high, really high and almost impossible to get through. And you're on a life raft or hanging on to a piece of timber to try and stay afloat. And eventually, the waves sometimes is still quite high, but they get further apart. And it's it seems to be that way. So that's an analogy that I read that was good for me.

What got me through I think my way through all these years has been number one, I have a strong faith. And that helps me I have a great family that supports me. And I had to rely and I have to

look at

I think I tried to look at it this way is that I have a great family and my other children who I have, I still have them. And that helped me and I appreciate them so much. The other part of that is that

I don't want to take anything away from my loss. It was horrific loss, but I really feel that you know, some people have losses greater than ours, because they lose a loved one. And that might be their only loved one. And they might have lose a child and that's only their only child and and and an impaired driving crash takes away three young young children and then their whole family is totally destroyed and they can't replace those children. They never will replace those children. So I look at that and I try and think you know, I lost my son. I lost my grandchildren

I lost my daughter in law and but other people have lost a fire greater than I have lost. So I tried to look at that as well. And yeah, and though and the work that we do this way, my speaking about our loss and and trying to lessen the amount of impaired driving crashes causing death and injury, I think that helps a bit too. I just find that grief is so different from one person to another, as Lou shared, when, when the crash happened, I right away closed off my my thinking process. And I just put it over my mind because I couldn't deal with it. And to be honest with you, I think still, it's varied. And one day, it's going to just come out. And that's something I have to work on. But realizing that Lou grieve differently than me. And it took me a lot to realize that it's okay for him to grieve differently than me. I couldn't understand it in the beginning. And yet our kids all grieve differently as well. And I think that's one thing that I like to share that grief is different for everyone. It's very personal. It's very personal, and it should never be judged. And when someone says, oh, you get over it. No, you don't get over it. I'm sorry, you can't get over something as traumatic as a loss. And as a mother, I lost a part part of my heart and you just can't put that heart together again, even in 10 years, 20 years. I live with this every day till the day I die. And anyone who grieves will grieve till the end of time. So it's really important there. There were other resources out there. I know. Some of the family members took counseling. And I don't know if it worked. I never went to counseling, as Lou said, our faith or my faith is trusting, trusting God that he'll help me through it. And thank God he has been and he is with me helping me through this because it's for my life that I have to go on with this. I'm very sorry for your loss. Thank you once again, Mr. Van der Vorst. I believe that we've a very, very strong impact on our listeners. Thank you and sorry for your loss. thank you for having us here.

Thank you Parthi. Drunk driving has been the cause of so many needless deaths over the years and it ruins the lives of everyone involved. I truly hope that our listeners take what they've learned today to heart and make safe responsible choices regarding substances in the future. Now, let's take a look at the many events happening for students at MLG CI are right now. Smudging ceremonies are taking place every week. Keep an eye on announcements for more information. The SRC is annual barbecue celebration the summer sizzler returns on June 16. Come out and enjoy some fresh patties, cool drinks and a variety of games and activities to celebrate the end of the school year with all of them and GCI. The full steam ahead program is hosting their go it presentations from June 5 to 20th of UCSD member in the halls wish them luck in the development and presentation of their apps. If you see a canoe club member, wish them a bon voyage, they are gearing up for the Canoe Club trip, which is taking place June 9 to 10 and MSCI is annual color day. A celebration of the academic achievements of students will take place in the gym on June 19 is a wonderful event that celebrates the many great things MMGCI students have done throughout the 2022 23 school year. SRC grid rep and co-president election day is May 26. determine the future of who represents you in your school. Our track and field season is well underway. Keep an eye on the schedule and come out and support our many talented athletes, their philosophies having a year end soda sale every Friday in the comments. Come on down and check it out. Well, that's all for this episode. Tune into next episode when we examine healthy relationships and intimate partner violence. Watch our Instagram and Tiktok @mmcgcifalconsnest

For more details, as always, thank you for your support. Without listeners like you, this podcast won't exist in the form it does today, and we really appreciate it. If you want to provide feedback on your listening experience, or one suggest students who should be interviewed send an email to falconnestpodcast@gmail.com. Don't forget to check out our website which is linked in the description, fly high falcons and see you next time