We can't talk about FinTech, startups, and entrepreneurship without talking about failure, the tough times, mistakes and all the difficult things in life.

Today's episode is a compilation episode for one of my favourite mindset questions

Thank you for all our wonderful guests who have been in the Purpose Driven FinTech pod throughout 2023

👉Svitlanka Sergiichuk Romaniuk at Neofin solutions

👉Monica Eaton at Chargebacks911

👉Tony CraddocK at The Payments Association

👉Shalom Ben Or at Avenews

👉Barry Levett at Mypinpad

👉Lauren Jones at Open Banking Exchange

👉Delphine Emenyonu at ScribePay

👉Jas Shah bitsul

👉Sarah King Obu

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Let’s dive into it!

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Questions:

1. How to deal with failure in FinTech startups?
2. What is resilience in entrepreneurship?
3. How to find strength during tough times?
4. What is growth mindset in business?
5. How to redefine failure as learning?
6. What are traits of resilient entrepreneurs?
7. How to cope with difficult times in startups?
8. What is the role of support network in success?
9. How to embrace discomfort as learning opportunity?
10. What is internal narrative about failure?
11. How to view challenges as test boards?
12. What is work-life integration vs balance?
13. How to be comfortable in uncomfortable periods?
14. What is economic cycle perspective on business?
15. How to extract learning from tough experiences?
16. What is growth through adversity?
17. How to hang on to hope during dark moments?
18. What is psychological safety during failure?
19. How to keep going when scared or crying?
20. What are lessons from entrepreneurial tough times?

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Production and marketing by Monica Millares. For inquiries about coaching, collabs, sponsoring the podcast or creating or editing your podcast email Monica at fintechwithmoni@gmail.com

Disclaimer: This episode does not constitute professional nor financial advice and does not represent the opinion nor views of my current, past or future employers. The guest has agreed to record and release our conversation for the use of this podcast and promotion in social media.

original (24)

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Introduction: The Reality of Building a Business

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Building a business is not fun. It feels fun when you get to a point of success and you think, ah, I can't believe we got here. But you're in the trenches so many times and all of us go through that whatever walk of life we're in. Yeah. So for me, I, I'm literally thankful for every single problem that I've had, even for the most horrible challenges that I thought were absolutely unfair.

And because you know what it's given me, it's given me the ability to be more relatable, to be empathetic, to understand people, to influence people.

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Welcome back to purpose driven FinTech, happy new year. And thank you for every single one of you that comes every week so today is a very first episode of the year, and I wanted to do something special rather than going straight into full audio years.

tonic, Craddock, Monica. Eaton Shalane Ben or barring Levitt loreen Jones.

jazz, Shar and Sarah King. All FinTech champions. And thank you so much for joining us in the show.

Resilience and Strength in Tough Times

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So it's something inevitable. You should, you either go strong or you go home. I like that. Yeah, because there's no way. Somebody asked me recently, like, how do you cope when it gets really tough? What do you do? And I, with a very serious face, I said. I just keep going. And she was like, what? I'm like, well, maybe I stop, I cry, you know, I reassess the other, but I just keep going and that's what you need to do.

Yeah. You keep going. You can be scared. You can cry, but you can still go in the meantime. Okay. Crying, but go. Exactly. Exactly. And I think that's a beautiful message. It's like, yeah, crying, but go. It's like scared, but go. You just keep going. Whatever feeling is coming up, just keep going. Because I always see it as otherwise, the alternative, I never liked the alternative.

And then the other side of success is, of course, life and work can be tough sometimes. So on the Jing and the Zhang, so how did you deal with the tough times when life gets difficult?

Redefining Failure and Success

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Again, we, we give this label tough times to stuff that is simply a mismatch between. Our expectations and the reality. So I know it sounds really strange to say this, but the way in which I deal with the tough times is to redefine what performance criteria is being satisfied by getting to where I am.

This one, we set the bar so high in terms of achievement. So we're going to be guaranteed to be dissatisfied. So to me, so it's not so much, I don't have, I know it sounds really cliched, but I don't have tough times. In my career, I've had some things that haven't worked. I've lost a lot of money with one, one company I've worked with.

I think that's what helps. Does that, does that give you an okay answer? Is that a bit of a cop out? But I'm a generally, I'm a compulsively optimistic person that, that, that my future is always going to be bigger than my past. It always is that way. And, and, and if something doesn't quite work, that's all.

It's just doesn't quite work. I love what you just said. My future is going to be bigger than my past. Cause I'm also very, very optimistic person, but I do have to accept many times. I'm like, Oh my God, the future, beer, beer, beer. Absolutely. Absolutely. And, and it, and if you have this underlying assumption that it will be, and I think most entrepreneurs, most people running small businesses, even if they've done really well, they will have in their mind the sense that tomorrow's always going to be bigger.

original (28): Whether it's life or business startup or corporate, like sometimes life gets tough. We've all been there and that's like a very common human experience as such.

Mindset and Personal Growth

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original (28): So I want to start with how did you deal with the tough times? Failure. I was mulling this over when the, you know, you sent some of the job questions to me.

And, um, I was mulling over the kind of concept of failure, and I find it really interesting because at first I didn't really understand the question. I didn't really understand why I didn't understand the question. And then I kind of took that around in my mind for a bit and, and kind of asked myself why.

I see it much more a way of kind of a test board. So, you know, there are times where it's very clear you're making advances in your personal life or your career. But sometimes, you know, we take very deliberate sidesteps or there are challenges that we need to overcome and we need to level set and recheck in with ourselves.

And sometimes you, you take steps backwards, ultimately to the same outcome. so I don't really use the word failure, but. I'm quite a resilient person, I really enjoy those challenges and I thrive in those challenges. So it's almost that kind of internal narrative where, okay, how can I overcome these?

I think that's a bit of a facety that I've learned to deal with over the years. Yes, I love that. And I, think as you were talking, I was like, yeah, I think I do the same thing. It's I don't talk to myself. I'm like, Oh, I failed. I never did that. But on the contrary, when it's like tough, it's more it, yeah, it is tough and I'm super resilient, but it's more of the what am I learning?

How do I go about things? Yeah, exactly. And even though sometimes you're like, it's tough and you're angry or emotional or like whatever emotion comes up with the toughness, whether that's personal life or work, but still you are like, yeah, but no, but yeah. Yeah. It's more like a iva. There's atrophy.

And that's what we do. And it's also, we should be viewing a year or. Not succeeding in the way that we had envisaged that way, let's sit with it for a day, be frustrated, and then move on and then get to work. And I think it's, treating the success with a lack of advancement to be seen similarly.

I love that.

What do you do to handle those tough times? Do you actually think of it like, okay, cool, next day it's a good opportunity or did you do something else?

Work-Life Integration and Enjoyment

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So that's one thing is I don't put stress on myself to say, Oh, I can't wait to get away from work because actually I just have fun in my personal life. I'm in misery on one side and actually I want to work around people that I enjoy. I want to do things I enjoy. And if I'm not enjoying it, then what can I change about myself?

How can I change about how I'm perceiving things? And we all have horrible days and it's building a business is not fun. It feels fun when you get to a point of success and you think, ah, I can't believe we got here, but you're in the trenches so many times. And all of us go through that, whatever walk of life we're in.

And people, and several years ago, I would have thought it's all about technology and product. I'm going to have the best product. That's it. And you come to appreciate there is nothing without people and life experience gives you a richness that actually you're able to really create more and more opportunities.

And that is probably one of the most fulfilling things. If you interview any entrepreneur, it's not the money. It's What good did you do in the world? How many people did you influence?

Um, We all know that strength sometimes comes from pushing through the rough times and we all have like tough times. So that's why I want to start. What's your mindset when it comes to failure and going through the difficult times? That's a tough question to start with. So when I was a kid, I was an athlete.

It's not something you need to avoid something. It's really important for you to become better in what you do. Cause if you're not losing, it means you're not pushing yourself. You're not competing in the right competitions. You're not in the level that suits you. And once you lose, Now you have the opportunity to learn and become better.

Now, we always want to win and you do whatever it takes in order to, but when you lose, it's fine. Let's put it in perspective. Let's understand and let's fight. And there is more, there is an important fights which win and you're going to win. And there is the ones that you can lose. And if you lose, that's fine.

It's just like life is tough, but at the same time, if we use that mindset that it's, it's tough because I'm, you losing on my ability to manage the situation better, then you're like, Oh, I just learned something. And therefore you can make those tough times easier slash better to cope with. Yeah, a hundred percent.

And if you didn't win, it's the end of the world. Then it's like, you don't have any, it's really hard to celebrate small wins that way because everything, every time that you want something, you know, you diminish it. You said, no, it's what's very small. The important. Is in front of us, let's continue and let's celebrate, continue, like expecting to win will not get you to anywhere.

What do you do to handle those tough times? Do you actually think of it like, okay, cool, next day it's a good opportunity or did you do something else? Um, so there's a lot of discussion about work life balance. I believe personally in work life integration. I want to have fun doing everything that I'm doing.

So that's one thing is I don't put stress on myself to say, Oh, I can't wait to get away from work because actually I just have fun in my personal life. I'm in misery on one side and actually I want to work around people that I enjoy. I want to do things I enjoy. And if I'm not enjoying it, then what can I change about myself?

So for me. I, I'm literally thankful for every single problem that I've had, even for the most horrible challenges that I thought were absolutely unfair. And because you know what it's given me, it's given me the ability to be more relatable, to be empathetic, to understand people, to influence people. And the older that I get, the more I appreciate humanity.

And people, and several years ago, I would have thought it's all about technology and product. I'm going to have the best product. That's it. And you come to appreciate there is nothing without people and life experience gives you a richness that actually you're able to really create more and more opportunities.

Learning from Tough Experiences

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Life is not always easy. So it's also good to learn not just how to navigate work and product and FinTech and purpose, but like ourselves. So I want to start with a few questions on mindset about you. So let's start with how do you deal with the difficult times where the difficult times can be those days that you're frustrated for no reason.

Distract my frontal lobe puts me into a state of like deep consciousness where I'm just concentrating on one thing, which is running or walking or cycling, punching a bag or hiking. So for me, what works for me is fresh air, exercise, and then a cold shower. Again, that sounds really like bro sciencey or ice baths.

And I was like, Oh yeah. And I'm like, yeah, exactly. Went for a hike, go for a walk, just. Pressure because boxing, I was thinking I'd have my boxing gloves as well. I was like, just go to the gym and punch the bag. That's it. It's, it feels so good to just punch the bag. Yeah. You tie, yeah, you tie yourself out a bit and I think maybe with the jet, like it resets your body clock, so you tie yourself out and you feel, you feel tired.

You go to sleep, wake up at a normal, normal hour. And again, a bit more bro science, but like sunlight going out and getting sunlight, what I've realized is when I'm in. In a house, like in a room with limited sunlight for a day or even two days where I'm just working away. Mm-Hmm. makes a massive difference.

It works. Cool. I like that. And I like starting in that way that it's like the tough times because they are inevitable, but it's just part of life.

Let's start with my favorite questions, that it's all about mindset. How do you deal with failure and the tough time? How do you deal with failure and the tough time? My approach is always being comfortable in during an uncomfortable period. And, um, I always look at things from an economic cycle perspective.

Because if you use that as a learning opportunity, it then actually ensures that when you get to that opportunity of growth, really it becomes more accelerated. So for me, I would say being very comfortable in when there is discomfort. Using that as an opportunity to learn, also get, get an advice from different people, because let's be honest, you are not going to be the first, you're not going to be the last person to go through a down period, but then most importantly, reading more around how you can use as an opportunity to accelerate that growth opportunity.

Today I was reminded, I met an amazing woman here the other day, months ago, big CEO in the FinTech space. And then I asked her, what's your secret to success? Like, she's also has a family, this, the other, and she said, my support network, I was like, of course, it's a, yeah, support network, whether that's family, friends, colleagues, makes a massive difference, massive difference.

Yeah, it does.

What are the traits that you think you have or how have you coped? With the difficult times thing. The thing that has served me well throughout my life be that in my personal life or in my career, is always to be learning. Always take the learning from any experience. And I know it can sound a bit cliche, it can be a bit overused, but actually the toughest situations or experiences are often the ones that gift us the most learning, and I think.

Because on the other side, there will be learning. And if there's learning, that means there's growth. And if there's growth, then that, that's success. And that's a positive outcome. And, and I say that as someone who has been through those really tough moments as an entrepreneur and has had tough experiences in my personal life.

And it's hanging on to that sense of there will be another side when I get to the other side of learning. And, and that's always really fueled me. Yes, I like that and it reminds me, if I look back at, I don't know, five, six years ago, Monica, five to six years ago, I used to say a lot, yeah, everything is happening for a reason.

My design thinking background, growth mindset, I'm a leadership coach. That sense of through growth, we develop through growth, we create change. I think is really important, especially in those moments when it feels like the odds are completely stacked against you. In those moments, that's what it's like.