“We can make friends in any stage of life — and good friends.”
–Adam Dorsay
Do you crave more connection? Wondering who your people are at this stage of life? I’ve been exploring that myself and it keeps coming up in FLOW365, so today I’m diving into a conversation about connection with psychologist and coach Adam Dorsey.
It starts with connecting with yourself. Adam suggests asking yourself, “What really brings me alive?” And he shares his FEED filter — Does an activity get you in Flow? Does it Energize you? Does it Educate? Does it add Depth?
We all connect differently and have different schedules for connecting, but even introverts like me need connection.
We talk about:
- Four kinds of connection to self, others, the world, and something greater
- How we all connect differently
- Adam’s driveaway test for connection
- Meeting people through shared interest causes or meetups
- How dogs help us meet people
- Whether our in-person connection has changed since the pandemic
- Taking the risk to be vulnerable
ABOUT ADAM
Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist and executive coach in Silicon Valley where he serves high-achieving adults (including professionals, executives, entrepreneurs, and professional athletes). Adam is the host of SuperPsyched, an award-winning podcast with over 200 episodes available on all platforms. He has given two highly regarded TEDx Talks: one about men and their emotions and the other about friendship in adulthood and his book on the topic of the four ways people connect is available on October 1, 2024.
Beyond his private practice, Adam is a resiliency expert who co-created an international program for Facebook’s Online Safety employees for several years. He now serves as the resiliency consultant to DigitalOcean and has frequent requests from the media for interviews. He has provided keynotes and trainings to multiple corporations and organizations, including Microsoft, Linkedin, and the California Psychological Association.
He is happily married, the father of young boys, and he has a hypoallergenic 33-pound Australian Labradoodle therapy dog named Raffi, who lives at his home and works at his office.
LINKS
DOABLE CHANGES
At the end of every episode, we share three doable changes, so you can take what you've heard and put it into action. Action is where change happens.
Even though we want big change, it’s really little things done over and over that make the difference. So pick a doable thing. Put it in your calendar. Weave it through your days for a week and then move on to the next one. It will have a snowball effect.
Here are three Doable Changes from this conversation:
- CONNECT TO SELF. Before you work on connecting with others, deepen your connection to yourself. Start by asking: “What really brings me alive?” Not sure? As you go through your day, check your activities with the FEED filter: Does it get you in Flow? Does it Energize you? Does it Educate? Does it add Depth?
- TRY THE DRIVEAWAY TEST. Next time you are with somebody, check your connection with the driveaway test. How do you feel as you leave doing something with someone? Do you feel heard? Do you feel like there was a real, rich exchange? Do you feel discouraged, defeated, deflated? The answer tells you something about your connection with that person.
- MAKE A FRIEND DATE. Take a risk and initiate something with somebody you’ve met in a group setting or elsewhere. Ask if they want to get coffee or meet for a walk.
