In this episode, we're tackling the challenges and triumphs of balancing motherhood, guilt, and chasing our dreams. I open up about my own experiences and how my network impacts my journey as a mom and entrepreneur. Loneliness, a common but often overlooked aspect of personal growth, is explored as I share my journey of feeling disconnected despite being outgoing and well-connected. We'll dive into categorizing relationships, prioritizing supportive ones, and evaluating your current network to ensure it aligns with your personal growth goals.

Discover the power of cultivating a supportive community in different life seasons and the importance of distinguishing between supportive and unsupportive relationships. I encourage you to reevaluate individuals in your life who may not be fostering your personal growth. As you listen, consider the three groups of people in your life: those who hinder progress, those who don't understand, and those who support and encourage. Evaluating and utilizing your current network is crucial for personal growth and success, and we'll explore this further in our next episode. Tune in!

What you'll hear in this episode:

[1:35] Loneliness and its relationship to personal growth.

[3:55] Categorizing supportive and unsupportive relationships.

[7:30] Prioritizing supportive relationships in personal growth.

[9:00] Evaluating current network for personal growth.

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0:00

Who do you currently have in your life? What is your current Association? What is your current network? In the three buckets are one, the people that are currently in your life that are possibly hurting you, and definitely not helping you. The second group is people you love, they just don't understand. They can't lead you to where you want to go. There's kind of a long side, but they're not helping you up. They're not pushing you and pulling you to where you want to go. And the third group, is people that are helping you get where you are saying, Have you tried this? How can I help you? Welcome to mama has goals, your weekly reminder that you shouldn't have to sacrifice your dreams to take on the role of mom. I'm Kelsey Smith, mom of two boys. Why an entrepreneur who's passionate about helping other moms current and aspiring to reimagine mom life. I'm bringing you the resources, support and relatability to debunk that limiting belief that you may have about your ability to achieve your goals while raising a human. We're covering everything from mom guilt, marriage, relationships, careers, finances, mental health, physical health, you name it, your life doesn't have to fully shift. Once you become a mom, you can have it all. And we'll show you how.

1:34

Don't know about you. But I've definitely had seasons of life where I feel lonely. And this is a conversation that I think people don't talk about enough in being semi extroverted and outgoing. I often get feedback that people that aren't that way, are feeling like they're the only ones that feel lonely. And being lonely, in my opinion actually has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted or outgoing. It has to do with feeling connected to the people that are in your life. Yeah, and if you are evolving and changing and going through an evolution yourself, you may have lots of people in your life, you may be really outgoing and have so many different friendships and connections, but you don't feel like they're connected to you because you're becoming a different version of yourself, or they're just not giving you what it is that you need in that season. And it's not your fault, and it's not their fault, it just kind of is what it is. And if you're introverted, and you're more of a homebody, and you aren't putting yourself in situations, to meet new people, or to have these relationships, you may feel that's why you're feeling lonely when sure you have less people that you're connected with. But that actually has so little to do with how you're feeling about the people that are in my opinion. And so there's a couple of different seasons of life that I felt this way. And when I go back and I look at it, it really is because there is this new version of me or I have new priorities, or a new focus that I maybe didn't have before. And when you realize that that's really where this is coming from, you can kind of be more peace with it. And then work on a solution so that you do find whoever and whatever you need in that season. And so for myself, there's a couple of different lenses that I run this through. And so what I want to do today is give you this framework of cultivating the community and network that you may need in this season. So that if you do feel lonely in this season, or if you ever feel lonely, again, you have this framework to come back to to be able to evaluate your current Association and get the association that you need for where you're going. And so the first one is thinking about really what do you currently have? Who do you currently have in your network? Who do you currently have in your association? Because whether it's our goals, our income, our association, everything starts with evaluating where we're currently at. Because if we can't take into consideration where we're currently Yeah, we don't know where we want to go. And so the first thing I want you to do is think about, okay, here's where I currently am. And now here's what I'm going to do with it. So when you think about where you're currently at, I like to think of my association in three buckets. You don't have to share this with anyone and there's no shame around it. There's no good or bad. So don't get caught up in feeling bad about putting someone in a bucket it just, it just is what it is. So think about first bucket is who are the people that are in your life that are not supportive and possibly even hurtful for where you want to go. And then I want you to think about the secondary bucket So who are the people that you love and are important to you, but they just don't understand what you're trying to do or where you want to go there, maybe just have different priorities or different experiences than what you're currently going through. And they just can't help you in this next step. Okay, so I want to break down those two buckets a little bit more before we get to the third, because there really is a differentiator here, the first group of people are in your life, but they're just kind of there, they've maybe been associated with you for a long time. Maybe they're family, maybe they're not. Maybe these are like high school friends or childhood friends. They could be blood, they could be coworkers, different people that you're realizing are in your life, and you've been connected with them. And I'm not telling you to go burn all the boats, and we'll break that down. But these people are not supportive, and are possibly hurtful for where you want to go, or what you're trying to currently do. And when you look at your association, and you look at your goals, you're realizing that these people are not in alignment, and not supporting where you're going. Now, the second group of people, maybe can get tricky with understanding the difference here. But the difference here is, these people are in your life, you love them, they're important to you, and they're not hurting you. But they're not helping you get to where you want to go. They are helping you from the standpoint you love them. They're important to you for your future. So this could be a family member who's really important to you in every other aspect. But when you think about your goals and your self growth, and where you want to really get on a path towards there, you're like, I don't understand, what are you doing, I don't understand why you would do that. They're giving you unsolicited feedback, but you love them. Those people are different. Because those people we can put into a bucket of I love you for what you are, you're important to me for XYZ, and I'm not going to talk to you about this version of my life. Or I'm going to wait and see if you understand as I continue to evolve. And right now you're not hurting me, you're just misunderstanding, you're not putting negative energy on me, you're just not willing to or not able to understand. And that's okay, that person isn't necessarily pulling you to where you want to go. But they're also not pulling you down. They're just kind of on the track, like Sure. I'll grab a sandwich. I'll be over here. You have fun with that. Those people are okay. The people that see us climbing and want to pull us down the people that are pulling us back and saying no, don't do that. Do this instead. No, that's dumb. Come over here. Oh, why would you think you could do that? Those are the people we want to reevaluate, especially if there isn't a positive that's associated with them. When you look at your life, and you look at these people, and you say, okay, yeah, this person in my life, but I don't really know what they're bringing, that's good. I don't really know what they're bringing, to me that is really supportive of who I want to become or what I want to be. That's when we look the other direction, that's when we look and say, Okay, if they're not having any good, they're not supportive to me, then maybe I need to not prioritize, it doesn't mean you say, Hey, we're no longer friends. But maybe I'm not going to prioritize continuing to put these people into my life. Wow, that secondary bucket we talked about, you may still prioritize these people, maybe you prioritize them around the holidays, maybe you prioritize giving them a call here and there, or sending them a letter or a text, but they're not supportive of where you want to go. In support, it's not even the right word, they're not able to lead you to where you want to go. It doesn't mean that they're unsupportive. It doesn't mean that they're bad people. They just can't lead you where you want to go. And then the third group of people that we haven't talked about yet, is the people that are in your life currently, people you already know, that can help you get to where you want to go in this season. And you may have anyone in this bucket, you may be looking at your goals and you may be looking at your association and realizing there is no one in my bucket right now. That is going to help me get to where I want to go, that knows how to support me. Maybe it's not that they don't want to but they just don't know how they don't have that experience that skill set that expertise to move you forward. Okay, so the very first activity just to recap that for you is who You currently have in your life? What is your current Association? What is your current network? In the three buckets are one, the people that are currently in your life that are possibly hurting you and definitely not helping you. The second group is people you love, they just don't understand. They can't lead you to where you want to go. There's kind of a long side, but they're not helping you up. They're not pushing you and pulling you to where you want to go. And the third group is people that are helping you get where you want to go. They're saying, Have you tried this? Are you able to do this? How can I help you have, here's an example of how you can do that. Let me lead you let me show you let me help you. Let me pull you up. Let me encourage you. Here's how I can help you. Here's the experience I have. That's your third bucket. Okay? So I want you to break down those three different things for yourself. And once you have an idea of who some of these people are in these three different buckets, then I want you to think about how you're going to actually utilize your network and build it to the way that you want it to be. Okay, we're going to cover that in the next episode. So make sure you come back so that you can hear how to build your network once you've evaluated your current network in association. All right, I'm sending you so much love Mama will chat to mom in your life that you see and love her by sharing this episode. Giving while your cup is overflowing always pays itself back tenfold when you need it most.