Most parents struggle to get enough sleep. But solo moms juggling a complex series of responsibilities can find themselves constantly sleep-deprived. 

This episode is packed with insights that highlight the deep connection between sleep and overall health, especially the often-overlooked influence of rest on weight management and hormonal balance. 

Be sure to check out Bijoy's SLEEPNOW tips for improving your sleep habits for better health and wellbeing. (09:45)

So if you or someone you know is suffering from a lack of sleep this conversation is for you. 

Listen now. You’ll discover that sleep is not as elusive as you think.

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Follow this podcast for more tips and strategies to live a joyful life as a solo mom.

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Connect with Bijoy: website | podcast | LinkedIn

Grab a copy of Bijoy's book, Nobody's Sleeping: https://amzn.to/3uWAAMs

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Connect with J. Rosemarie:

FREE PRIVATE CALL: Don't parent alone. If you need help and support or just someone to talk to, connect with me by scheduling a personal conversation: https://rb.gy/tg01ic

For resources and articles specifically for solo moms check out our blog: https://rb.gy/xxbo2d

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Facebook - https://rb.gy/9olde7

YouTube - @solomomstalktv

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Question: What topic would you like to hear me talk about on this podcast?

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Summary

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I've had a life-long struggle with sleep. When I was a teen I had constant headaches from worrying about who would take care of me. Then during my working years, I ignored sleep to focus on work and recreation.

But after becoming a solo mom I realized how important sleep was to my overall wellbeing. Yet I had to find that out the hard way. Sounds familiar?

Thankfully, professionals like Dr. Bijoy John who can help us discover easy and convenient ways to get better sleep so we can transform our health.

Bio: Bijoy John is a board-certified physician and practicing sleep specialist currently in private practice with over 25 years of experience in Pulmonary/Critical Care and Sleep Medicine. Based in Nashville, TN, he treats both children and adults with various sleep disorders. Bijoy is also the founder and medical director of Sleep Wellness Clinics of America offering in-person and online consultation, education, modern diagnostic modalities, home testing, and comprehensive treatment for a full spectrum of sleep disorders.

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Mentioned in this episode:

Don't Parent in Silence

Hello Solo Moms. As a solo mom of three adult sons, I understand the challenges you face on a daily basis. As a mentor, my mission is to help you shift your mindset and empower you to take control of your life, to see yourself as God sees you. I know that unresolved trauma can be a heavy burden to carry and parenting alone can be a lonely journey, but it doesn't have to be that way. I want you to know that you are not alone. You have the strength and resilience to overcome your challenges and create the life you desire. Speaker 1: 0:41 I want to help you to make the effort to tackle unresolved trauma and change your perspective so you can live the life you deserve. I offer complimentary consultation where we can discuss how to move forward, create a plan to help you heal and empower you. You can schedule a consultation by emailing me at jen@jrosemarie.com or by calling + 1-917-994-1329 (WhatsApp), or schedule a consultation with the link below. I am here for you and I want to help you take the first step toward healing and empowerment. Don't let unresolved trauma hold you back any longer. Don't parent in silence. Take action today and let's work together to empower you to live the life you desire. Thank you.

J. Rosemarie : 0:00 The topic of today's episode is near and dear to my heart. I've struggled with sleep all my life, from the time I was a teenager, but when I became a solo parent, especially when I was parenting my two youngest sons, I barely slept and it affected my health. Maybe you can relate this conversation. Solo mom is for you If you or someone in your family is not getting enough sleep. Be sure to check out Bijan's seven tips for getting better sleep. Sleep now is his mantra, so check it out. Leave me a comment, follow this podcast and subscribe, Thank you. My guest today is Bijoy John. Welcome to solo mom's talk, Bijoy. I'm happy to have you. Bijoy John: 1:05

Bijoy John: 5:53 Yes. J. Rosemarie : 5:54 Okay, all right, thank you. So I'm going to have a book and I want you to tell us about it and how it you know why we should go buy it. Bijoy John: 6:05 So there are many books for sleep, you know. You know there's a children's book. There's, you know, insomnia book. There's books or months, but there's none for the whole family. See for me, if the child's not sleeping, the parents are not sleeping, if the older adults are not sleeping, you know the family's not sleeping. I said, just like diet and exercise, this should be a family affair. You know, I have used, you know my own experience as a practicing real doctor, taking care of patients and finding and refining. So I you know, first of all you have to identify your sleep problems and then you have to come to a solution. Why? Just not, you might have many problems why you're not sleeping. So I address all that and then I give the seven proven sleep strategies. I also have an acronym for that. It's called sleep now to help solve the problem. So this is for the whole family and everybody can benefit from it. In a chapter dedicated for children and teens, older adults, women, athletes, you can prove your word. So I have a chapter for all different ages of our lives. J. Rosemarie : 7:15 Okay, so you address each person as you were talking. I saw a little clip on TikTok this morning and it was a little baby and she was teething and but she couldn't, so she couldn't sleep and she was laying next to her dad who wanted to sleep and couldn't sleep because the baby kept going grrrr, grrrr to, to, you know, soothe her gums. I remember that because but we all have trouble sleeping, not just individually, but as families, depending on our, our dynamics, right? Bijoy John: 7:51 Yeah, so you know, in couples are sleeping separately. It's all sleep. Divorce from the snoring from the man. You know the men snore more because you know the the larynx of a man is bigger. So imagine a trumpet through the airpipe and then the it gets amplified in the in the base of the trumpet. So that's what's happened with men. So people are sleeping separately. My aim is to bring couples together to treat the problems that that that is there cause them to sleep separately. I hear that. Okay, thanks All right. J. Rosemarie : 8:18 So what do you do for your clients? I know you you're promoting the book that will help us in some way shape our form. But do you do coaching? Do you help individuals or families one on one, and how does that work? Bijoy John: 8:40 I do that in my clinic. You know you're all licensed in the states where people come and see me. But you know, to help more people, I have a sleep now course on my website, sleep fix academycom. So people can, you know, just register for the course and take the online course and also have a lot of free material, free stuff and also a podcast there so people can listen and empower. So once you have knowledge, you won't act on it. Everybody knows about the sleep problems and we have to to work good. You know we have to work good. You know we have to work good, Work good to get it. Sleep is an art. You know it's contrary to the hustle culture. We hustle and hustle and hustle, but sleep is an art. You have to work at it to get it gently. And that's what I have discussed and, and you know I want to share it with many. J. Rosemarie : 9:28 Okay, thank you. So give us I give us all a mom three tips for getting better sleep. Bijoy John: 9:36

All right, so we're going to give you an upgrade more than that. There's seven things Okay.J. Rosemarie : 9:41 That's the best way. Bijoy John: 9:42

So it's called sleep now. So all the viewers who are listening, they can write now cell EEP and oh so that's the acronym. So the first is the, as is the schedule. So for every plan to succeed you have to have a schedule right. So the best time to go to sleep is between 10 pm and 6 am. So what happens with people if they go to bed at 10, they can't sleep till midnight. Guess what they do? They go to bed early. Now they're starting from 9 pm To midnight, so three hours. So the bedroom becomes a torture chamber. So I tell people, if you can sleep to 11, 30, go to bed around 11 30 and then. But you have to wake up at 6. So that's the schedule. Some, you know, when I start the schedule on, folks ages absolutely don't like me Because they are like you know they don't sleep the whole night. But the key is I'm trying to build a sleep that here. So once you do that for two weeks you will be surprised. You start sleeping better. So once you get to sleep at 11 30, you can move to 11, 15 and then 11, and then you know 10, 30 and so forth. So but you have to make sure you wake up at, you know, 6 am, so this is called sleep restriction. It works for most people, but it's not recommended for people who have significant psychological issues. You know you have to sleep more dead. Sleep Restriction works Greatly and the rest of us, and we're doing this for many, many years. So the next is L is in the acronym is low light, low noise, low temperature. Melatonin, the hormone that makes the sleep, is only secreted in in darkness and you know low temperature melon means darkness. So it's important to have, you know, low light. And then, you know, make sure your bedroom is dark. And you know the noise affects your sleep and also the temperature. You can slow it out, the experiment between 65 and 70. That's why when people are traveling Tropical climates they don't sleep well because they develop on and it's not secreted right now. The next is the big one is electronic. I tell people no electronics, at least 30 minutes prior to go to sleep. Because when you are laying in bed, especially when there is no ambient light, the light from the cell phone just goes inside, you know, goes through your eyes and tells the brain and it's still daytime. So melatonin does not secrete in bright light. So you know at least 30 minutes, right, and also don't have your cell phone close to you, make sure it's a little bit far away. I have it in my bathroom next next to me. So so even in the middle of the night when you wake up you don't look at the time there's things notification people wanting you, texting you. You're not tempted to you all wake up. You know at least once or twice at night, because that's the way you know that the rhythm is built. You know we change through different sleep cycles and then when you look at their phone, it's done you game over. So I keep it far away. I send an alarm for six and able to wake up. Any other questions so far? Jen, you have any questions?

Okay, all right, thank you. We appreciate that and I am going to put that in the show notes for people to see it, along with the link to your website. So I appreciate that. So what is Bejoy grateful for today?

I had a great night's sleep. Bijoy John: 16:56 I slept for seven hours and I woke up, worked out, did two other podcasts, finish my little bit of writing, and then I'm able to rule and capture the world. I'm ready to go play and around golf here, so, so, so I'm grateful for life. I'm grateful that I've discovered this art of sleep and I'm grateful that I'm able to talk to you and then, and you know, I share this message with all your viewers and the rest of the world.

Bijoy John: 18:03 Big question. Remember, you need to follow the schedule, you know. So you need to change your time later and try to sleep six hours in bed. That's it. You're, you're, you're laying in bed, time in bed is probably nine and time of sleep is probably three. So there's a huge gap. Nine hours, You're struggling, six hours, three hours sleep. So you should restrict that to six hours. You know 12 to six, and then you move that backwards. So when I see somebody like you or any other person, first thing I ask them is there a medical reason, is there a psychological reason, or there is a sleep disorder, or is it just insomnia cannot sleep. So first thing is you have a breathing problem, your heart problem, you have diabetes problem, because those things do affect your quality sleep. Or you if you have pain problem, so pain affects the sleep. The next is you have psychological problem if you have anxiety and depression. So If you ask me one thing that is affecting most people don't sleep, underlying anxiety and depression, because anxiety, depression versus sleep, sleep versus anxiety and depression. So it's a vicious cycle. So if you ask me about you, my kinics, every person of the people who have insomnia eggs have an underlying anxiety or depression problem. And there are other medical reasons like thyroid problem, menopause, you know, and that can you know, change your hormones. You're in a hyped up state so you might want to check all that too. And then some people have, you know, aching in their legs. They can sleep, it's restless legs and it's a simple thing. It is due to deficiency of iron. So you can, you know, you know, resolve that. And then the third thing is sleep disorder. Sleep, I mean, is one major thing, because when you have an acne at the brain wakes you up, it's not letting you go to deep sleep. So you could have, you know, sleep apnea or you could be moving your limbs lots, well, limit disorder, so you could be a sleep problem. So this is how I approach answer If you have a medical problem, you have a psychological problem, or if you have a sleep problem or if you're just insomnia. So you go through this list, find out the things that I told, and then you know If you have those things. You have to address that and then you have to work on it. After the end of all this, you say I don't have anything. I've got pure clear cuts. Insomnia I tell people to follow the sleep now. J. Rosemarie : 20:27 All right, thank you. So eating, sleeping is as necessary as eating. I'm probably more so. So if you can't sleep, some things wrong. Right, you got, you got me started on that.