Shownotes
Struggling with Christian burnout or feeling like your faith has become performance-based? In this episode, I talk with Karolyne Roberts about our identity in Christ, striving in faith, and learning to rest as a daughter of God.
Karolyne shares how years of ministry and leadership eventually revealed something many Christian women quietly struggle with: a works-based mindset that ties our worth to what we do instead of who we truly are.
We unpack what it really means to live from the secure identity of being God’s daughter - and why rediscovering that truth can bring the freedom, peace, and breathing room so many of us are craving!
If you’ve ever felt like you are constantly trying to prove your worth to God, to others, or even to yourself, this conversation is your reminder of the truth: your identity as God’s daughter was never something you had to earn.
Episode Highlights
- Why so many women slip into performance-based faith before they’ve realized it
- How striving can lead to burnout in ministry and everyday life
- What it looks like to rest in your identity in Christ while still living with purpose
- The role the church can play in creating healthier rhythms of service and rest
- Simple ways to reconnect with God when life feels overwhelming
Resources Mentioned
- The Beauty of Being: Strive Less and Live More with God as Your Guide by Karolyne Roberts
- The Best Yes: Making Wise Decisions in the Midst of Endless Demands by Lysa TerKeurst
- Atomic Habits by James Clear
- Therapy and Theology podcast with Lysa TerKeurst, Jim Cress, & Dr. Joel Muddamalle
Related Episodes For You
- EP 2 - Slow Growth and Capacity with Mary Marantz
- EP 3 - Encouragement for the Woman Who is Drowning in Overwhelm
- EP 7 - Top 3 Questions to Ask Before Saying "Yes"
- EP 14 - Reader Review: Atomic Habits by James Clear
- EP 39 - The Source of Empowerment with Becky Beresford
- EP 59 - Rethinking the Proverbs 31 Woman: Inspiration, Not Expectation
- EP 67 - Spiritual Direction 101: How to Tune In and Trust God’s Lead with Cheryl Weaver
- EP 71 - What If You’re Doing Better Than You Think? with Jennifer Renee Watson
Connect with Karolyne
- Website: karolyne.com
- Instagram: @KarolyneRoberts
- Miss Eternity Christian Pageant
- Dear Daddy Ministry
Connect with Rachel
- Website: racheldbaker.com
- Instagram: @rachel.d.baker
- Email: rachel@racheldbaker.com
I never recommend anything to you that I don't truly love & believe is worthwhile. Some of the links I share are affiliate links, and I’ll earn a tiny commission if you go through them to make a purchase. It's no extra cost to you, and buying through the links I share is one small way you can support this ministry and our podcast.
Mentioned in this episode:
FREE Printable Permission Slips
If you’ve been feeling like you need a minute to catch your breath, hear from God, and remember who you are outside of all the chaos... this is for you. It’s a Printable Permission Slip. Yes, an actual fill-in-the-blank reminder that you are allowed to rest, reflect, and realign with what really matters. When you download it, you’ll get four designs of beautiful, fill-in-the-blank permission slips and 20 permission slip ideas to get you started. You don’t need the world’s permission to step into your purpose - but sometimes it helps to see it in writing.
I'd love to speak at your event!
Hey sis! It’s Rachel, your go-to encourager and coach. I know you love our podcast talks, but imagine taking that connection to the next level – in person! I'm more than a Clarity Coach; I'm someone who's been in the trenches, juggling All The Things. I get it! I’ve danced with chaos, overloaded schedules, and the struggle to prioritize self-care. But I found the rhythm, and I've got the strategies to help your ladies create some breathing room. So, if you're organizing an event, whether it's a conference, church gathering, or retreat, and you want a speaker who brings humor, real talk, and a dose of inspiration, I'm your girl. Let's chat about making your event a memorable one. Visit racheldbaker.com/speaking.
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Transcripts
You're listening to how's all that working for ya?
Speaker A:The podcast where we keep it real, ditch the sugarcoating and ask the questions that bring actual change, not just more noise.
Speaker A:I'm your host, Rachel D. Baker, helping you create some breathing room, set healthy boundaries, and reclaim your time without the guilt trip.
Speaker A:This is real talk with a bit of sass and we are always seeking the truth in God's word.
Speaker B:This episode is so exciting.
Speaker A:I got to meet author Caroline Roberts and what has come forth.
Speaker B:What you are about to listen to is a beautiful, very real conversation.
Speaker A:We get into some nitty gritty and I'm really excited to share it with you.
Speaker A:So before we jump into the conversation, here's a little bit you need to know about Caroline.
Speaker A:Caroline Roberts is a daughter of God, wife, mom of four.
Speaker A:As a best selling author, speaker and YouTuber, she reaches more than 430,000 subscribers worldwide.
Speaker A:Sharing the light of Christ.
Speaker B:How amazing is that?
Speaker A:Caroline has spent over a decade as a leader in full time ministry and has learned the importance of abiding in the Lord to avoid burnout.
Speaker A:She discovered that her worth is not rooted in accomplishments, but in being known and loved by God.
Speaker A:As a daughter, this revelation inspired her to write the Beauty of Being, a book that encourages women to surrender their plans to the Lord and seek contentment in knowing him above all else.
Speaker A:That's the book we're going to talk about today.
Speaker A:Cannot wait for you to hear about it.
Speaker A: tarted Dear daddy ministry in: Speaker A:Alongside her husband, she also co founded Miss Eternity, a faith based mentorship platform raising women in godly character and purpose.
Speaker A:She's done so much.
Speaker A:She's involved in so much and yet she took the time to be here today.
Speaker A:And this conversation around our beauty, just being daughters of God, the beauty of that connection and relationship.
Speaker B:Oh, it's so good.
Speaker A:Let's jump in with Caroline Roberts.
Speaker B:I'm so excited.
Speaker A:Caroline, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker C:Thank you for having me.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:When I heard about your book and I saw what it was about and just really the title just kind of gives this sense of rest.
Speaker A:The beauty of being like, oh, to just be.
Speaker B:Doesn't that sound amazing?
Speaker B:So I'm thrilled to get into this conversation, but before we can dive too deep, I have to ask you the
Speaker A:question I ask all of our guests.
Speaker B:What does breathing room look like or feel like for you?
Speaker B:Mm.
Speaker C:For me, breathing room feels like freedom.
Speaker C:It feels like peace, it feels like just not having the pressure to feel like you need to prove yourself or to prove your worth.
Speaker C:And I don't have to feel like I am, like, stuck in this box where my worth or my value is connected to, you know, what I do or what someone thinks of me.
Speaker C:It's just like I have the freedom to simply be who God has already called me to be and just live out of a place of peace in him.
Speaker B:Love that.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And that listen goes right into what we're talking about today.
Speaker B:I love in this book.
Speaker B:This is your newest book, the Beauty of Being.
Speaker B:Strive less and live more with God as your guide.
Speaker B:Yes, please.
Speaker A:First of all.
Speaker B:Second of all, I love the quote.
Speaker B:This quote from your book says the beauty of your position as God's daughter is that you don't need to strive for it.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:So why is it so important that women have that foundation of truly knowing and understanding their identity as God's beloved daughters?
Speaker C:Mm.
Speaker C:That's so good.
Speaker C:I feel like when we don't know our identity as God's daughter, like.
Speaker C:Like when we don't have that, we'll allow the world or society or people to dictate who we are or dictate our worth and value.
Speaker C:And just looking at history, right, looking at history, books, society, or sometimes even maybe religion has told women, you're less than.
Speaker C:You don't have value.
Speaker C:And what I love about Jesus is that when he came and he walked this earth, he shifted that narrative completely with how he associated with women, with how he pursued them, with how he.
Speaker C:He loved them.
Speaker C:I think of women like the woman at the well who he went outside of his way to go and meet her and make her feel seen and known.
Speaker C:I even think of the story of as we know it as the woman with the issue of blood, right?
Speaker C:She had this issue that she had struggled with for years, and she was, like, outcasted by everyone.
Speaker C:They knew her by, you know, that.
Speaker C:That sickness.
Speaker C:They knew her, that disease that she struggled with.
Speaker C:And when she touched the hem of Jesus's garment, he said, who touched me?
Speaker C:And then he said, he called her daughter.
Speaker C:Your faith has healed you.
Speaker C:And I found it so significant that he gave her identity in that moment.
Speaker C:And he said, you are daughter, right?
Speaker C:Even to this day, it kind of bothers me that we refer to her as the woman with the issue of blood, right?
Speaker C:But Jesus said, you know, no, she is daughter.
Speaker C:And I feel like it's so important to know your identity as a child of God, as a daughter of God, because you show up differently.
Speaker C:You show up with a different level of confidence where it's not like manufactured or man made confidence.
Speaker C:It's not confidence in your accolades or your titles or your accomplishments.
Speaker C:It's like confidence because I know who I am, I know whose I am.
Speaker C:And you're able to confidently carry out your purpose and the plan that God has for your life because it's out of this secure place of identity, knowing that that can never change or shift because God is faithful, he's eternal, he's the same yesterday and today and tomorrow.
Speaker C:And before you could even say a word, he knew you before he knit you in your mother's room, right before you even came into this earth.
Speaker C:God had a plan and a purpose for your life.
Speaker C:And when we recognize that as women and we pull from that for our confidence versus pulling from all the other things that the world tells you to pull from the, your bank account, you know, your status, your following on social media, when we can just pull from that well that never runs dry, that, oh, it makes me go back to what I said.
Speaker C:The woman at the well, it's like she had these different husbands and she had so many pieces.
Speaker C:Like her identity was fragmented in all these different places.
Speaker C:And you know, Jesus was basically telling her, like, I have a well that never runs dry.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker C:If you're thirsty.
Speaker C:And it's like that is the place that we ultimately need to pull from.
Speaker C:And it's just so important as women of God to be rooted in that.
Speaker B:Yeah, I love that and I love you.
Speaker B:You do talk about, in your book, you talk a lot about the different foundations of who we are, these different identities that we have.
Speaker B:And I do, you know, I do think a lot of them were man.
Speaker B:I feel it myself.
Speaker B:I'm striving to be a good wife.
Speaker B:I want to be a good mom.
Speaker B:I want to be a good Christian, a good friend, a good, you know, help me be better at this thing, this identity I'm supposed to have, right?
Speaker B:What am I doing wrong?
Speaker B:How can I do it better?
Speaker B:And it is this sense of striving and needing to be more.
Speaker B:And I love, love, love the scriptures that you bring in to remind us.
Speaker B:This role, this identity, this daughter of God isn't anything we have to do anything for.
Speaker B:There's no doing it better.
Speaker B:There's no being it better.
Speaker B:It just is.
Speaker B:And the peace that comes with that is just beautiful.
Speaker B:So with, with all of that, I think it's easy to say, like, we just rest in this identity, right?
Speaker B:We, we Rest in this.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:But I do think because we have that sense of striving right to do and be more all the time, how do we then rest in our identity in God while still moving forward?
Speaker B:It's not like this is just who I am, the end.
Speaker B:We do still want to live and do and be who God called us to be.
Speaker B:But how do we rest in this identity while still moving forward in life?
Speaker C:Man, that's so good.
Speaker C:I think of like when people say I'm self made, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker C:When I think of myself as a daughter of God, like, I'm not self made.
Speaker C:I didn't make myself a daughter of God.
Speaker C:Like God chose me.
Speaker C:God is sovereign overall.
Speaker C:And one thing that gives me so much peace and helps me to rest just from that place of identity is like, I can't.
Speaker C:I'm not powerful enough to make it happen on my own.
Speaker C:I need God.
Speaker C:I need to abide in him.
Speaker C:Apart from Him.
Speaker C:I can do nothing.
Speaker C:But also on the flip point of that, I am also not powerful enough to mess it all up, right?
Speaker C:God's will is going to come to pass.
Speaker C:That gives me peace.
Speaker C:I think sometimes we put that pressure on us because we forget that God is sovereign.
Speaker C:We forget that he's in control.
Speaker C:We forget that, you know, we are just called to be vessels, to partner with him, to walk in obedience so that we can see his will come to pass on this earth.
Speaker C:And I want to be on that side of obedience.
Speaker C:I want to be on that side of.
Speaker C:I want to do this with you, God.
Speaker C:I want to partner with you, God.
Speaker C:I want you to use me, God.
Speaker C:That's a healthy place to be serving from.
Speaker C:That's a healthy place to be carrying out these different roles, right?
Speaker C:Because God, if God called you to be a mother, if God called you to be a wife, he was intentional.
Speaker C:He purposed you for that.
Speaker C:He called you for that.
Speaker C:But it's like when we forget that he put us in this place and we're doing it on our own strength.
Speaker C:I even sometimes think of my role as a mom.
Speaker C:And sometimes I feel like, overwhelmed, like, am I doing the right thing?
Speaker C:I don't know what to do.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:And I have to remember, God not only called me in this place, this is his child before it's even my child.
Speaker C:I am just rearing this child up right now on this earth.
Speaker C:That's an assignment that God gave me.
Speaker C:But it's partnering with him in everything, keeping him central, knowing he's sovereign and knowing that you are not powerful enough to make it happen on your own.
Speaker C:You need to rely on him.
Speaker C:And you're also not powerful enough to mess everything up.
Speaker C:So there's grace, right?
Speaker C:There's grace for every day, there's new mercies for every day.
Speaker C:You don't have to be perfect.
Speaker C:And I think we strive for that idea of perfection in every area.
Speaker C:Whether that's, you know, being a mom, having the perfectly clean house, having all the laundry done all the time and you know, everything perfect like that is not what God wants from us.
Speaker C:I believe he wants a heart that's surrendered.
Speaker C:He wants faithful stewardship, but he wants us to invite him to be central in every single aspect of our lives.
Speaker B:Part of what you said there really stuck out also, we are not powerful enough to mess up what he has planned.
Speaker B:You know, whatever is in his will, whatever he wants to bring about.
Speaker B:And I did, I had a conversation with a friend at one point and we were kind of talking about, she's like, I'm messing this.
Speaker B:God wants this to happen.
Speaker B:And I'm, I was like, girl, sit down.
Speaker B:You are not that powerful that you can, you know, if he wants this to happen, happen, it's going to happen one way or another.
Speaker B:He'll use whatever he needs to use.
Speaker B:And I do, I think that's a great reminder because I think a lot of us walk around with a lot of guilt, a lot of shame, a lot of not enoughness.
Speaker B:If that's a word.
Speaker B:I'm making it a word today where we feel like we're messing it all up or we haven't done enough.
Speaker B:And I do, I just think it what a blessed reminder that resting in him, depending on him, wanting to walk alongside him, is it just resting there is enough.
Speaker C:It's that fear of failure.
Speaker C:And I used to operate from this place, like I had this fear of failure where I was constantly in this mindset, like, did I mess up?
Speaker C:Is God mad at me?
Speaker C:What can I do better?
Speaker C:And then it moved me into like this performative works based faith where I was just operating out of.
Speaker C:I want to, I want God to be proud.
Speaker C:I want to say well done, that good and faithful servant, that I wasn't operating from a place of relationship, of being his friend, of being his daughter.
Speaker C:And I feel like it's so important to just have that shift.
Speaker C:Right?
Speaker C:To know that there doesn't have to be any fear of failure.
Speaker C:Because when you're in God, you recognize that Jesus already won the victory.
Speaker B:Yep.
Speaker C:So it's more so just about sticking with him.
Speaker C:If you're with him, you are already on the winning side.
Speaker C:Whether make a mistake or not, just stick with him.
Speaker C:And I talk so much about just that abiding, but I definitely struggled with that.
Speaker C:So I understand, like, the root of where that comes from in terms of, you know, coming from a performative place or a workspace place because, you know, you feel like your works or your performance, that's what, you know, grants you, you know, to be holier or a closer relationship with God.
Speaker C:But it's nothing about us or what we can do.
Speaker C:It's all about what Jesus already did.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And even, I think even in the places where we feel like we're doing, like we're doing okay, but there's still more.
Speaker B:It's still not quite enough.
Speaker B:I. I spoke with a friend recently and the things that we were talking about, she said something to the effect of like, I'm doing good, but I think I could do good.
Speaker B:Er, is it, you know, is there more?
Speaker C:Can I achieve more?
Speaker B:Is there better than what I'm already doing?
Speaker B:And I think a lot of that's culture based.
Speaker B:A lot of that is that that feeling of needing to constantly achieve, do better, strive, whether it's for appearances or personal accomplishment or whatever it might be that's all wadded up in there.
Speaker B:And I think it just feels gross.
Speaker B:I hate it.
Speaker B:And so this, this reminder, I keep wanting to say, like, this concept, this idea, this is not a concept or an idea.
Speaker B:This is a truth.
Speaker B:This is a deep in the heart of all the things truth of who we are at our core and what we are called and allowed to do in resting with God as our Father, as daughters of Him.
Speaker B:So, okay, part of what you've spoken to, you spoke just a little bit about, like, growing up in the church and trying, you know, doing the checklist, and girl, we're about to get into that.
Speaker B:Okay, so this is a space where we welcome some of the hard and uncomfortable conversations that are rooted in God's truth.
Speaker B:We always want to be rooted in his truth.
Speaker B:So I'm kind of excited about this next question because we're going to dig in in so many ways, and I've lived this as well.
Speaker B:The church even glorifies action and condemns inaction.
Speaker B:You got be involved, doing the things right?
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:And it really creates this difficult culture for anyone to just simply be and rest in God.
Speaker B:So what can we do to make that shift, to change that culture and support both action and rest?
Speaker B:Because in truth, we are called to do, to serve, to love, to go out and take care of people.
Speaker B:That's a piece of it, right?
Speaker B:We are called to action.
Speaker B:But this.
Speaker B:I don't like the word balance.
Speaker B:I feel like life balance is a lie.
Speaker B:But I love the word harmony.
Speaker B:How do we create this culture of harmony with action and rest?
Speaker C:That's really good.
Speaker C:I'm gonna share what I.
Speaker C:What I feel like God is putting on my heart to share now.
Speaker C:And then also, just some tips of how we can, like, shift as a church.
Speaker B:Love it.
Speaker C:I feel like we put so much emphasis on doing so.
Speaker C:Like, I've been in churches where it's like, if you ain't serving, something is wrong.
Speaker C:You need to serve, you need to be involved.
Speaker C:And it's like, I just got to this church.
Speaker C:I don't know anyone.
Speaker C:I don't even.
Speaker C:I'm not even sure if I'm going to really be a member here.
Speaker C:But it's just that pressure and pressure.
Speaker C:I feel like we need to shift our focus more so to encouraging people to be in community.
Speaker C:That is the foundation we are called to assemble as a body, especially because community, because we are the family of God.
Speaker C:And I feel like when someone gets into a place of community, naturally they're discipled, naturally they're affirmed, naturally they're discovering their gifts.
Speaker C:And naturally they want to be a part where it's just organic.
Speaker C:You don't have to push and prime it.
Speaker C:It's just organic.
Speaker C:And then they end up wanting to serve as God speaks to them when it's the right time.
Speaker C:The recent church that I joined, I had to sit.
Speaker C:I think it was like two or three years where I was just sitting because I had some church hurt stuff.
Speaker C:The Lord moved me to a new church.
Speaker C:I was sitting for, like two or three years before I even served in any ministry.
Speaker C:Me and my husband joined a small group.
Speaker C:We got involved, and then from there we built community.
Speaker C:We got to know people, and then they got to know us, and they got to see, oh, there's something in you.
Speaker C:We see certain giftings.
Speaker C:We see, you know, leadership.
Speaker C:And then organically, we stepped into different roles.
Speaker C:But it wasn't like this rush to, you know, step in, you know, right when you join a church, we got to learn, like, they care about relationship, they care about us.
Speaker C:And I feel like from there, we allowed God to order our steps on, you know, stepping out into a place of serving.
Speaker C:But I feel like different ways that we can shift as a church culture and just help.
Speaker C:I like to see churches where the Pastor takes a sabbatical.
Speaker C:Like, they make it natural that every year the pastor takes a sabbatical.
Speaker C:And there is leadership, there is community, there is support that can step in, whether it's an associate pastor or ministers and things like that.
Speaker C:But when I see that pastors are willing to take a sabbatical and, you know, take care of their own spiritual growth and mental health, and they don't feel like they're the only one who could run the show or the church members don't feel like, oh, I'm not going to church because pastor's not preaching today.
Speaker C:Like, not matter.
Speaker C:It's the work of God.
Speaker C:It's the body of Christ.
Speaker C:I feel like sometimes we put people on a pedestal, so then because you're on the pedestal, they feel like it has to always be me.
Speaker C:The pressure has to always be on me.
Speaker C:I cannot take a break.
Speaker C:So I love seeing leadership take breaks.
Speaker C:I like when rotations are put in place in ministries.
Speaker C:So, for example, at my church, I'm on the worship team, but we have rotations in place.
Speaker C:So I'm not, like, burnt out leading worship.
Speaker C:Every single Sunday day, we have rotations.
Speaker C:So I may lead worship like, once or twice a month.
Speaker C:And then on the other Sundays, I get to receive.
Speaker C:I get to be, you know, as part of the congregation and then also church leaders being sensitive to where the sheep are, where everyone is, like, being mindful to people's life situations.
Speaker C:Some people are single moms.
Speaker C:Some people are working two to three jobs.
Speaker C:I feel like sometimes we're insensitive to that and we're just focusing on, you know, what, we need help, but how are we helping others?
Speaker C:I remember when I joined my church's social media ministry, I was doing good, you know, for a while with, like, posting and scheduling out posts.
Speaker C:But I remember life just got super busy in one season, and I couldn't keep up with posting from my church.
Speaker C:And my ministry leader noticed that I was super busy.
Speaker C:And I felt seen in that moment because he mailed me a thoughtful card to my house.
Speaker C:And he's like, I know you've been super busy and overwhelmed.
Speaker C:I want you and Kal to, you know, have a date night, Just get out.
Speaker C:He gave us a gift card to go out to eat.
Speaker C:And that just meant so much to me that, you know, he didn't reward me when I was just doing great and on top of things.
Speaker C:He, like, saw me when I was really dropping the ball and not able to balance.
Speaker C:And I feel like if more people in ministry and leadership have that sensitivity to what people are walking through in their everyday life and understanding they're trying to figure out.
Speaker C:And that comes in being in community.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:That it'll just make such a difference.
Speaker C:And then that person can come back refreshed and ready to dive back in and do what they need to do.
Speaker C:But those are just some examples of what we can do in terms of the church, in just shifting and serving from a place more organically and just out of cheerfulness and joy versus just like, you know, duty and because you feel pressured to do it.
Speaker B:Yes, yes.
Speaker B: I agree: Speaker B:I've had similar experience.
Speaker B:I was in a church for years and in leadership and planning the women's retreats and all these things, and life exploded.
Speaker B:And I ended up going through an unexpected divorce, and it did not go well and had, you know, switched to a different congregation.
Speaker B:And one of the first things when you get there, they have these things you can fill out.
Speaker B:And it's kind of to make you think of, like, what are your giftings?
Speaker B:What are the areas where you could serve?
Speaker B:And I got that, and I sat with one of the shepherds and I looked at, and I was like, can
Speaker A:I just sit here for a little bit?
Speaker B:Is that okay?
Speaker B:Like, I want to do these things, but not right now.
Speaker C:I just.
Speaker B:I needed a season of healing.
Speaker B:And when the Lord and I have had that time together, and I can come back to it.
Speaker B:I'm here for all the things, and they were so good to just say, yes, please, just sit.
Speaker B:And how can we support you through this?
Speaker B:And it was such a beautiful thing to receive and to be supported in that way.
Speaker B:And then to be able to say, like, okay, I think I can attend a thing.
Speaker B:I think I can help in the nursery.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:You know, to come back into that.
Speaker B:And that community aspect does make sense.
Speaker B:Such a difference.
Speaker C:That's so good.
Speaker C:You know, what you made me think of?
Speaker C:Sometimes serving is not just, you know, what you're doing publicly or what you're doing on a platform.
Speaker C:God may have you serving in your own private life in different areas.
Speaker C:I remember, for example, I used to do monthly Bible studies or teachings with my community, just showing the ladies the Bible and stuff like that.
Speaker C:But in this specific season, in this year, God said, I need you to do that with your kids and your home.
Speaker C:And so it's like, I'm serving, but, you know, and teaching the Bible, but not on the platform that I used to like publicly to an audience.
Speaker C:It's like me and my Kids, we need to sit down every week, and we're going through the word of God, and I'm answering their questions.
Speaker C:So it's like, sometimes we feel like it needs to be on a stage or it needs to be, you know, a specific group.
Speaker C:But God may show you how you can use your gifts and talents or just serve right where you are in your home.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:And it's.
Speaker B:That is supporting both action and rest.
Speaker B:It's not big, bold action that lots of people are even aware of.
Speaker B:And so I. I think a big part of this conversation is compassion and grace for each other.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:An awareness of.
Speaker B:Of the seasons, of the circumstances, of that single mom or the mom who has kids with special needs.
Speaker B:I know there are a lot of times we're like, yes, we would love to come and help at this community event that our church is hosting, but my kids sensory issues are not gonna hold up in that arena.
Speaker B:Like, he's gonna absolutely have a stroke.
Speaker B:If we have to be in that building for very long, that's not something we can come and be part of this time.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:Can I send a pan of brownies instead?
Speaker C:You know, like, yes.
Speaker B:What can it look like?
Speaker B:And to have that awareness and compassion and flexibility.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:To know that, you know, our hearts are all still in this.
Speaker B:Supporting each other in our hearts, in this place, to love and serve and rest and be with God.
Speaker C:That's good.
Speaker C:You just gotta know how to say no sometimes.
Speaker C:Yeah.
Speaker C:Which.
Speaker B:That's all.
Speaker B:We've had that conversation a lot in this space we taught.
Speaker B:No is a complete sentence.
Speaker B:Healthy boundaries matter, right?
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:Okay.
Speaker B:So as we wind down, I would love to know, are there any specific tools or strategies that you have found to be most helpful to manage your time and allow yourself some breathing room?
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:One of the things that I had to stop doing to give myself more breathing room is I used to plan out my whole year, like, before the year came.
Speaker C:So, like, I would do my vision board, I would get ready for the next year.
Speaker C:I would be like, okay, my January is going to look like this, my February, this is what I'm going to do in March, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker C: ber the last time I did that,: Speaker C:I had retreats, I had all these things planned, Stuff got canceled, and I was like, okay, I'm not doing this anymore.
Speaker C:I am not doing this again.
Speaker C:So I, like, rarely when I step into a new year, like, I really have expectation.
Speaker C:I'm like, my calendar is Wide open.
Speaker C:There may be, like, maybe one event that God is really telling me to do that I'm focused on, but I'm like, wide open.
Speaker C:I am not planning it.
Speaker C:And I find that when that year comes, like, it ends up being full because things pop up, opportunities come, you know, invitations or things happen with family.
Speaker C:So it's like God already had the plans.
Speaker C:Are you open to just stepping into it and trusting that he's going to guide you every step of the way?
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker C:And I also created a planner, a strategic planner, but I called it about my father's business.
Speaker C:Right.
Speaker C:So these are not my plans.
Speaker C:God, what are your plans?
Speaker C:I want to be about your business and purpose.
Speaker C:But this strategic planner, it's not just like your simple planner where you put checklists of, hey, this is what I need to do every day.
Speaker C:It has strategic prayer.
Speaker C:So, God, what is the vision for this year?
Speaker C:What is the vision for this quarter?
Speaker C:How can I be praying strategically about that testimony?
Speaker C:So it's kind of like just this holistic resource that I created to really just help me.
Speaker C:And then my best friend, she wanted me to share it with other people.
Speaker C:So it's been helpful to other people as well.
Speaker C:But I just created it for me because it's what I needed.
Speaker C:Just to make sure, really, to keep God at the center in everything that I do.
Speaker C:So that's been a tool.
Speaker C:I also like to just journal and write things down.
Speaker C:But I don't do checklists as often as I used to do because I would realize that I could never get everything done on my checklist.
Speaker C:I would just overly put stuff on my checklist.
Speaker C:So kind of just taking every day and praying and being like, okay, God, what is, like the main one or two things you want me to focus on today?
Speaker C:Like, what are we doing today?
Speaker C:And I find when I kind of approach it like that, with just like, what is the overarching focus for today that my day goes so much smoother versus when I put a checklist, it's like I'm setting the standard, like, this is what needs to be done and checked off.
Speaker C:And then I feel bad at the end of the day if I didn't check everything off.
Speaker C:And then, then I'm emotional and I'm like, oh, man, you know, I'm in the dumps.
Speaker C:But if I could just ask God, what is that main focus for today?
Speaker C:And then as I'm going through the day, I'm listening to the Holy Spirit and he's leading me on what to do, where to go, et Cetera, that works best for me.
Speaker C:So I kind of am more just open, and I kind of go with, you know, what comes throughout the year, what comes throughout my day, and I just take it a day at a time.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:I think doing our daily best is the thing to do.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:I am a huge fan of checklists, systems, all the things, but same.
Speaker B:You know, you do it enough, and you realize, like, I kind of feel like throughout my life, whenever I've done something like what you're talking about, like, I'm gonna plan my year or I'm gonna set all these things up, I'm gonna look way into the future.
Speaker B:First of all, that's hard for me because your girl's got epic adhd.
Speaker B:And so planning too far into the future, my brain just doesn't work that way.
Speaker B:But when I've tried and done things like that, I feel like God's been like, that's cute.
Speaker B:You know what I mean?
Speaker C:Like.
Speaker B:Like, girl, that's cute.
Speaker C:Watch this.
Speaker B:You know, and it never goes as I plan because he's got it sorted already.
Speaker B:And I. I agree with you.
Speaker B:I'll have my big checklist for the day, but I do kind of have to sit first thing in the morning.
Speaker B:And we've talked on this podcast a good bit about, like, morning routine.
Speaker B:Starting your day with God.
Speaker B:What does that look like?
Speaker B:I think that's a huge piece.
Speaker B:You know, you kind of skipped over it, like, in the morning when I sit down, and I think that's a big deal to start your day saying, okay, God, I see this list of 90 things that I could try to work on today.
Speaker B:Where are we at?
Speaker B:What actually matters?
Speaker B:And I've.
Speaker B:I've been doing the same.
Speaker B:I've kind of gotten to where every day, when I do my mornings with God, I read part of my scripture for the day.
Speaker B:I. I have to list my top three.
Speaker C:That's good.
Speaker B:These are my top three for the day.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:Anything else is, like, bonus.
Speaker B:I feel amazing if I've done extra things.
Speaker C:Y.
Speaker B:So funny how just reframing that in your mind makes such a big difference on how you can move forward through your day and how you feel at the end of the day.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:I think that makes it so.
Speaker B:I love that.
Speaker B:I love that you've made that switch as well.
Speaker C:And I like that you did.
Speaker C:You mentioned systems as well.
Speaker C:So I do do systems, and I do do routines because they kind of take the brain work because they're already set up.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker C:I'm already, you know, used to doing it.
Speaker C:So even though I'm not, like, crazy about Checklist, I think that systems and routines are definitely helpful.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:Love that.
Speaker B:I did a reader review I don't know, a couple of years ago on the podcast of Atomic Habits, like James Clear's book.
Speaker B:And I love, you know, his idea, like just getting those routines and systems in place.
Speaker B:And it does it kind of when you get on autopilot with a few things.
Speaker B:I love taking off that mental load.
Speaker B:Like, I don't even want to think about it anymore.
Speaker C:Exactly.
Speaker C:I love that book too.
Speaker C:I read that book as well.
Speaker C:So yes, I agree.
Speaker B:That's a good one.
Speaker B:Okay, so speaking of books, obviously everybody needs to go and get the Beauty of Being by Caroline because it's so good and just, it's.
Speaker B:It's a breath of fresh air, ladies.
Speaker B:So go grab it.
Speaker B:But I would love if there is another book or podcast that you would recommend for us.
Speaker B:I'm always adding to my collection.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:So you all have probably heard about this book before.
Speaker C:It's not really a newer book, but it's one of my favorite books.
Speaker C:And this book really helped me break free from people pleasing and learning how to say no.
Speaker C:It is called the best yes.
Speaker C:By Lisa Terkerst.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:I love Lisa Terker.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker C:That book literally changed my life.
Speaker C:Like in the season where I read that, like, I really needed it.
Speaker C:So I always recommend her book.
Speaker C:Yes.
Speaker B:That's awesome.
Speaker B:I love her books.
Speaker B:And she's got a newer, new ish podcast.
Speaker B:I love therapy and theology.
Speaker C:Oh, wow.
Speaker C:I need to check that out.
Speaker B:Girl is so good.
Speaker B:You do need to check it out.
Speaker B:And we'll, you know, as always, I'm gonna link all the things in the show notes.
Speaker B:Any if we brought it up today, it's gonna be in the show notes.
Speaker B:So everybody be sure to check that out.
Speaker B:And Caroline, where can our people find you and connect with you?
Speaker C:Yeah, you could just find me on my website, caroline.com.
Speaker C:my name is spelled a little different.
Speaker C:K A, R, O, L, Y, N, E. Or on social media at CarolineRoberts.
Speaker B:Perfect.
Speaker B:And we'll link all that as well.
Speaker B:This has been such a blessing to my day.
Speaker B:Thank you so much for meeting with me and sharing your thoughts, your wisdom, what you have learned over the years with our ladies today.
Speaker B:It's been so good.
Speaker C:Oh, thank you so much.
Speaker C:I enjoyed this conversation and I enjoyed meeting you as well.
Speaker B:Yeah, ladies, check out all the links.
Speaker B:Go find Caroline, get the book, and we will see you next time.
