Procrastination can be boiled down to the fear of accomplishing something, or is it more complex than that? In today’s episode, I want to open with a story of a woman who’s spent a good part of her adult life wishing, hoping, and thinking about all of the things that she'd wanted to do, make, build or create, but had not. 

We’ve often been taught and then believed we take up space in a negative way. Instead, let’s focus on feeling the boundaries of our physical space. Find the safety and the comfort it brings you when you feel the fullness of the edge of your skin. 

Listen in to explore your relationship with procrastination and why, even through the fear, you can begin.

Topics Covered:

• Avoiding your own delight in pursuing things
• Denying one’s own greatness
• Feeling the boundaries of where you take up space, safety in your physical space
• Procrastination is about the fear of accomplishing something
• What is your relationship with procrastination? What is on your list to complete?

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Hey, it's your host Jennie with an I. E. And you are listening to this is Jennie Alexis, a podcast about getting curious and doing things differently. Every episode I share personal musings conversations and stories that I hope will invite you to explore ways to live outside the systems we're taught, and often believe we need to fit into. For more information about today's episode, including show notes, be sure to visit this is Jennie alexis.com/podcast. I am so glad you're here. Now onto today's show. Hello, and welcome. This is Jennie Alexis. So today, I wanted to share another story with you. And it feels appropriate to share this early on in this journey, this podcast journey. It was a story that I wrote this summer. And it's appropriate because as you'll hear, the podcast has been on my mind for quite some time. And for a good period of time, I was trying to decide how does it fit into my business. And while I love the work that I do, and the folks that I get to work with. I also realized over the course of this year that I wanted to create something simply for the sake of it not existing before. And then existing and not worrying too much about how it fits into my business and my marketing. And this story explores a little bit about how sometimes there are things we want to accomplish, and the ways in which we avoid accomplishing them. So my invitation to you as you listen to this story is to just perhaps note how it arrives for you, how it feels in your body and your heart, perhaps anything that comes up for you. And I am always interested and curious to know how what I share connects with you or does not connect with you. And I hope that you will share that with me. You can do that by heading to the show notes and clicking my email my contact button and sending me a note or send me a note on Instagram. That's fun, too. Without further ado, here is the story. She'd spent a good part of her adult life wishing, hoping and thinking about all of the things that she'd wanted to do, make, build or create, but had not. She wasn't sure why. And what she was most curious about these days was putting those things back onto her list and moving forward with them. Yet a part of her knew that she'd never actually get to them until she understood why they'd sat there for so long. It was easy to blame it on time or resources. It was logical to claim that she didn't have the skill, or the information or the knowledge. It was obvious that much of it came down to conditioning and assumptions made by society and herself. But it was more complicated to tell the truth. That truth was that she'd been avoiding at all costs, her own delight in pursuing these things. There was always something else to be done, someone to be tended to a job that needed completing. And as she sat in her garden looking at her list, she could see that she'd allowed herself to avoid the doing because she was terrified of the becoming the meaning the possibility she was denying herself and others, her own greatness. She recalled a quote she'd rolled around her mouth for years when she was younger, something about light and being seen and deepest fears. And in this very moment that felt, in part true. But in many ways she was past the point of caring now. She was past the naysayers and the commenting and the hushed voices she wanted to be seen to be witnessed. She was much more interested these days and the levels of curiosity available to a mature woman like herself. She wanted to be held to the standards of her own wishes. But most of all, she wanted to witness herself from the dizzying heights and expansive perspectives, her list offered, she did not need safety nets, and security blankets any longer. What she desired, and what she was no longer willing to dismiss anymore, was her own wanting her own needs. And so, like a child carefully choosing a candy, she allowed her index finger to go down the list, until she landed on the one thing that made her heart skip a beat, and her belly flutter. I'll start here, she said, Because if she knew anything, it was beginning. That would start it all. I hope you enjoyed that. I think that thing for me, when I read that story, and I hear those words, is the denying of the greatness and that denying because of the fear she has, of what it means of what is possible. If she is in that there's a really amazing coach of visibility coach named Danielle Cohen. And she's spoken to me before about this experience of fullness. And really understanding what that means. And for the first time when she described this, it made sense to me. It made sense what fullness meant. And she talked about being at the edge of our skin, sort of at the edge of our own container. And when she shared this with me, she talked about how frequently we hear this thing, this phrase, this very common phrase about taking up space. And I think for many of us, that concept, the physicality of taking up space feels really uncomfortable and really overwhelming. But what for me feels more easeful, more delightful, more exploratory, is being in the fullness of my physical self. So really exploring the boundaries of the space that my body takes up? And how when I explore this experience, and right now I'm moving my hands a few inches away from my body, really feeling like where do I begin? And where does the space around me begin? There's something there that somatically I think, feels more delightful, feels more easeful. There's sort of safety, in that, and being able to sort of feel my own physical space, my own energetic space. And so when I think about this woman sitting in the garden, looking at this list, that's sort of what I imagine is that she comes to this understanding that her own desires, the things that she wants, the things that she really needs and craves, that she can only give those to herself, and that in doing so she is really expanding, and being present in the fullness of who she is. There's something very comforting about that, for me. Very comforting. You know, I love to dance, it is probably, if I had to choose one single Joy thing that I do for myself for no other reason. It would be movement, dance. And when I dance, I often close my eyes. And it is about really pushing and pulling and stretching into and gliding through the space that my body takes up. So in many ways, I think it has the potential to be certain as a way for me to really embody what is possible for me. So those are just a few thoughts on that story. That story, the theme that I was playing with there was around procrastination. And one of the things I've come to learn about procrastination for myself and as I've been taught is that it is not about being lazy. For me, it's really about, in many ways what that story explores, it's about the fear of what it means to accomplish something like what does it mean, for me? What are the possibilities? What are the repercussions? What spheres does it, pull and push me into if I create a podcast, and so the procrastination comes in with that voice that is so loving and caring, because it really wants to keep me safe. It really wants me to be secure, in a way that kind of keeps me where I am. And it says to me, well, it'll take too much time. The investment will be too much. Probably nobody will listen. I mean, you have a lot to say, but does anyone care. And maybe those things are true. And I don't think that it really matters. The procrastination is more the stopping myself from doing something that I know will bring me joy and delight. And it's also a sign for me that when I begin to procrastinate around something, is that it's a sign of flag saying, There's something here for you, there's a gift for you here, there's something waiting for you on the other side of this task, this project, this thing you need to do you want to do. And once I sort of have begun to really recognize that helps a bit with the procrastination. So, my friends, I am curious to know, what is your relationship with procrastination? And even more than that, I want to know what is on your list? What are some of the things on your list that have maybe been there for a while that you are craving, desiring to complete and to explore. And if you want to send me that list, I will hold it with so much care and tenderness. And when you're ready to explore that list, know that from the time you shared it with me, to the time perhaps you make the decision to take action on one of those things that it has been held with the vision that we are all really deserving to explore things that delight us, that bring us into a state of curiosity, or that fulfills some kind of desire or need that we are required through our humaneness to explore and fulfill. So as always, I love hearing from you send me a note. Tell me what is on your list. And I look forward to sharing more of those stories with you in the future. Be well. Thanks for listening to this is Jennie Alexis, I hope you enjoyed what you heard on today's show. As always, it means the world to me when you share this content. So if there was something that got you thinking or made you curious, I'd love to know. Send me a note as this is Jennie alexis.com or over on Instagram at this is Jennie Alexis. If you enjoyed today's episode, another way you can show your appreciation is by leaving a review on iTunes. And if there's a person in your life who could benefit from this conversation, please share this episode with them. Thank you so much for being here. I can't wait to do it all again soon.