Few people understand perspective like my guest, former NFL player Tommie Harris. His journey is a testament to triumph over adversity, to giving through pain, and to finding the strength to stand up when all you want is to surrender.

Listen in to hear Tommie share his story of enduring the loss of his wife and shortly after, one of his infant daughters. Faced with unimaginable grief, he realized that he still had a purpose to fulfill.

Just as it was with Tommie in the world of business, hardship is an inevitable part of the journey. We will encounter tough decisions, moments when getting out of bed feels impossible, and times when all we want to do is let go. The real question is, are we prepared, willing, and capable of confronting these challenges, walking through them, and persevering, just as Tommie did in his life?

Join us as we explore and answer this vital question of the entrepreneurial journey.

Loral's Takeaways:

• Football, Marriage, And Near-Death Experience (04:45)
• Faith, Hope, And Personal Growth (09:21)
• Perspective And Growth Through Challenge. (14:03)
• Overcoming Loss And Finding Community (17:56)
• Football, Business, And Personal Growth (22:51)
• Coping With Loss And Endurance (31:41)

Meet Tommie Harris:

Tommie Harris Jr., raised in Killeen, Texas by way of Germany, is an American football defensive tackle that last played for the San Diego Chargers of the National Football league (NFL) before becoming a free agent. Tommie has an extensive football career, having achieved many awards and esteemed honors dating back to high school and now spends his off field time giving back to the community and raising his two beautiful children.

Tommie currently resides in Austin, Texas and continues to win off the field by staying active and being involved with non-profits that give back to the community and the world. He’s always been a giver of himself in everything he does. This year he is launching a campaign entitled The Locker Room, which is a series of empowerment sessions, targeted towards youth and men of all races, to remind them that You Can Win against the Odds!

Connect with Tommie:

Website: https://www.changelifedestiny.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tommieharris/

Meet Loral Langemeier:

Loral Langemeier is a money expert, sought-after speaker, entrepreneurial thought leader, and best-selling author of five books.

Her goal: to change the conversations people have about money worldwide and empower people to become millionaires.

The CEO and Founder of Live Out Loud, Inc. – a multinational organization — Loral relentlessly and candidly shares her best advice without hesitation or apology. What sets her apart from other wealth experts is her innate ability to recognize and acknowledge the skills & talents of people, inspiring them to generate wealth.

She has created, nurtured, and perfected a 3-5 year strategy to make millions for the “Average Jill and Joe.” To date, she and her team have served thousands of individuals worldwide and created hundreds of millionaires through wealth-building education keynotes, workshops, products, events, programs, and coaching services.

Loral is truly dedicated to helping men and women, from all walks of life, to become millionaires AND be able to enjoy time with their families.

She is living proof that anyone can have the life of their dreams through hard work, persistence, and getting things done in the face of opposition. As a single mother of two children, she is redefining the possibility for women to have it all and raise their children in an entrepreneurial and financially literate environment.

Links and Resources:

Ask Loral App: https://apple.co/3eIgGcX

Loral on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/askloral/

Loral on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/lorallive/videos

Loral on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorallangemeier/

Money Rules: https://integratedwealthsystems.com/money-rules/

Millionaire Maker Store: https://millionairemakerstore.com/

Real Money Talks Podcast: https://integratedwealthsystems.com/podcast/

Integrated Wealth Systems: https://integratedwealthsystems.com/

Affiliate Sign-Up: https://integratedwealthsystems.com/affiliates

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Tell us a little bit about your story. You actually went to school? Go all the way back. You were born in Germany, right? Yeah.

Black German supremacy do it. So be careful out there talking. I was born in Nuremberg, Germany. My father was a military man also a pastor. Yes, thank you so much. We are on my family, my mother's evangelists and a school teacher. So I didn't really have a lot I couldn't draw out of the lines growing up, and to stay inside. But um, I had a mom and dad or they didn't play and I was familiar with weapons, you know, stayed in line a little bit. And then as life continues, life goes off. We moved to Killeen, Texas, which is in Fort Hood, Texas, they just changed the name of that base. But as Killeen, Texas that's where I got a chance to learn and to navigate. I went off to in Killeen, Texas to become the number one player in the nation to I could have went to any college of choice I wanted to go to, I picked to go to University of Oklahoma, where I was the first to start as a freshman in the history of the school. And I did three years there I was up for the Vince Lombardi twice a one at once. And I got drafted my third year only did three years of college and I left as a first round draft pick for Lovie Smith. Chicago Bears. Yes. Awesome. And yes, I played there at Chicago bear. Couple years had some great season pro bowl season there with them. And while I was in the league, I was still finishing school. I fell in love with education, big time. So I went back, got my master's degree in executive business, and also have a degree in communication and minored in theology. So yeah.

Just a few overachiever.

Yeah. But my greatest degree now that I feel like I'm fulfilled in at this point in my life. I'm 40 years old. And they asked me what do I do for a living now and I'm a hope dealer. I get to travel the world and give hope to people that have been do devastating. Devastating things. So you want me to finish that part? Keep going. Okay. You want me to write a level?

Yeah, the first couple of chapters, you'll be in tears. I can tell you

if I was light skinned, I'll be ready right now. You know. I kind of liked you on the stage and it's dark out there. But you know, intimate moment calls for intimate conversation. But as I begin to go and play Chicago Bears, I have met a beautiful young lady and after my fifth year we got married. I went we got engaged in my last year. I went to San Diego I had a cup of coffee there. I played one season San Diego. It was the worst football. The city's nice but football is not coming from Chicago to San Diego. They didn't care anything about football. They had surfboards while we were going to the stadium, they were going to the ocean. So it was a difference in leaving No, in the tradition in the in the culture, but as I was in San Diego, I was going through a miserable season just just but I was gutting it out with my team. I didn't really like the team, but I committed to these guys. And I want to see it through. So like a week before our last game, I was in prayer. And God said to me, me and my wife, me and my fiance had been together for a while and God said no more just you gotta get married. I was like, what? Yeah, get married. So that week, I literally planned two weddings last season. Last game, she never saw it coming. But I brung all the pastures I bring everybody I wanted in so she just thought they were going to the game, but we ended up having a big win. Yeah, with all my intimate friends and different things. 41 days from there, my wife goes off to have a routine breast reduction surgery. And she is She says she's going to meet me and Oklahoma. She's going to meet me in Oklahoma for Valentine's day after she has her breast reduction surgery, because she wanted to get beautiful for she was already beautiful. But she we had just had another baby. She had wanted to we were going to have that this was January 1. So July 8 was supposed to be the big wedding. So throughout that time, she goes 41 days from January 1, we go off and she tries to have a breast reduction surgery. It still kind of no matter how much I think I'm over going back into it that's up there. But I remember to at that time I had, my daughter was three months and my son was four. So at that time we get married. I after the San Diego vs. Oakland game, she flies off to Oklahoma. I talked to her that morning. While I'm in Chicago. I'm flying to meet her in Oklahoma for Valentine's Day. But I'm gonna make a pit stop in Killeen, Texas, to see my mom and dad and sisters before I fight with Oklahoma. On the flight. I talked to her we pray. I get on a plane and I'm riding on a plane man. This gentleman is having a great conversation the whole time. I'm bragging about my family. He's bragging about his family. He says he owns the Austin jet company. Yeah, right. Why America? All right. I let him just talking. Hey, you know, we're having a good time. He said, If you ever need anything, just call me. I was like, Sure. Yeah. Like, why are you covering but I never said it out loud. I'm just like, sure everybody lives on the plane, like, two hours. Or you can say anything. Anybody sitting there and I take his card. I'm like, Yeah, sure. I'll never call you again. But I got your card. I put it in my pocket. We say our farewells about time I get to the baggage claim. My phone rings in the hospital calls from Oklahoma and they say Tommy, your wife stopped breathing on the table. What are you talking about? No way. We just talked on the flight. Like I just talked to her before I boarded the flight. He said to me, no, you got to hurry up and get to Oklahoma. She stopped breathing. I say so what does that mean? They say you need to hurry up and get here. So I look around and I and for that moment, I was just you know that that blindsided, that being just you have nothing? No answer. No. You don't know what to do. And that's it. There you go. He won't tell it for me. Yeah, so I look around and I try. I'm looking at all the you know, the flight monitor to see if any, no flight looked like it can get out to Oklahoma. So I rushed to the counter. I say, ma'am, is there anything that you guys could do? Does my wife stop breathing on the table? She was like, No, sir. There's no more flights. There's, we can't do anything. So lo and behold, I was sitting there and I just reached in my right pocket and there goes the car. And I call the guy and I say I say sir, you know that family we just bragged about was talking about. I say, Ma'am, my wife stopped breathing. He's like, What do you mean, I need a jet. There's nothing that can get me out. He said, what Tommy, where are you going? I said Killeen it was about 40 minutes from Austin. He said there would be a jet waiting for you. In that moment, I knew I'm a big believer in a higher power. And in that moment, I knew that God had something for me in this and my job was to see it through. I didn't like it. I hated everything about it. But I realized that sometimes God takes you through some things to grow you through some things, and the making of something the process of being made is sometimes difficult when you're being made, but I knew from football. I knew that this was not football God that my mother did not birthed me here to tackle people. She did. Like God made me to tackle tough things, people that are going through, not wanting to get out of bed depression, anxiety, divorces, loss of finances. That's what I'm here to tackle. I'm here to bring the Word together through my, my struggle. The reason I came up with endure, I felt like my wife saved me. Because I, if I don't lose my wife, I go off in this happy world of thinking, I'm doing everything right. And everything's going my way, and I got all the money. But the humblest thing in my life happened when she was on the ventilator. And I was the first in the NFL to make 10 million per season. As a defensive line position, Dion, in 100 years sport I was the first ever make. So and I don't say this stuff to brag, I just say that. You were blessed. I was blessed. But also, no one's untouchable. I don't care if you make a billion dollars today, you better remember that you're not rich enough to buy tomorrow.

So in the process of all of this, I love Laurel so much, because I'm more into enriching this, I need people like her to take care of that part of my life. I don't really play there anymore. And in my league of where I come from, people are snakes. They know you don't know, and they're not giving you a chance to find out, they're going to take advantage of what you know. So you need people like I think God I ran into this lady, things was falling apart. And she is kind of in it is hard. Being such a great athlete and having to learn from pre K levels have the right to have the courage to say, well, when she asked Do you have your LLC? Or is your is this connected to the Holdings Company and that is to really be honest and say, I don't know what you're talking about. But that's how you show up as the novice right? And the same steps I took to become a great football player. I know I'm segwaying a little bit but I'll be back to the hospital. This is like a stretch. It's refreshing to jump out of here real quick. I know that this this thing has some way helped me put everything in some context that we all need one another. I don't care who you are, what color What's your we all can learn something, just like Laurel said, Hey, don't just sit him don't stay parked in one place. Someone needs you. Right? Like, what's crazy is I sit next to a guy that's in his room on a plane and someone said talk to them, but he weren't really given talking. So we've been running each other all day in here. We finally came over here. I say wow. This is so crazy. Like, you don't wanna say method. But you you just never know. You never know what everybody's needing what people are going unless you say hi, how are you? Good Lord. I don't know if you are German. Okay. Jeremy on the one. Yeah. So I just, I just

want to share just your insights about care and hope. So we met and I hope you guys know, I'm going through this extraordinary fun divorce right now. And so we went one on one and just went off just to talk after we met and fabs room. And that's the first thing he said, your eyes are sad. He knew anything about me. He didn't know who I was. I mean, I might have talked by then. But and even on the phone, like when I called you a few weeks ago, you like I can hear in your voice still. I mean, he's Yeah, you you all just

been over to read real. Yeah, the real value is us helping one another. We can all walk around here and act like I do this. And you could be the loneliest person in the world. But you act like you got it all together and you I had a chance to climb Mount Kilimanjaro. And it took me five days to get it distinct change my life. After I pulled the cord on my wife. I made a promise to God that I will give attention. And I was served the day till I leave this place. Every person that breathe and without a monitor. I'll make sure they know that they love that they're safe. And that tomorrow, you can do this one more day. That's all I'm here to do to encourage the people. It's so refreshing to watch people who think they know everything like how is this happening right now. You can't explain it. But it's happening. And it's trying to get people to get the max value out of the inhale. And the exhale. When you go home just go look at your loved ones. Go look at someone don't Oh, argue don't fight just take a chance to watch how amazing it is that they only take out the ones that he didn't even know God is moving. And once you bring conscious to it, you start making yourself a great breather endures about playing through life's hardest hit, don't just go through but grow through. We're actually breathing to whatever your it is you are breathing through it. I don't care how bad it is, what it was you got is one more chance you make it. It's not a machine doing this because all I hear is DDD. I can't get that on my mind. So I know problems are showing you if you have prime, I'm so refreshed when I hear people going through stuff because I say you know that's a living person problem, right?

It sounds like music to me, because I know what it sounds. A bad day is when a hearse is pulling up in front of your house. A bad day is when a doctor walks into the room and say you have three more, you have three months left. So we keep everything in perspective. There's an old man I love this story is the old man that comes out to his porch every day. He's about 73 years old at this time retired. He grabs his newspaper, takes his coffee every morning. And he gets out on his porch and he runs out. Right? Is he running out his porch steps in this update. He looks down 73 of this time. He looks up and he see a big old German Shepherd take off. He said you know what I thought about it. He said this is the first time this happened to me and my life. He said I used to chase and run and scream and get mad and kick it all off. He said but at this particular time. I said I can't catch this dog and I'm too old. And I really just want to sit here and drink my coffee and sit down. He said to the old man through his wisdom, he finally looked down at his shoe. And he said wow, what a beautiful brow you could understand life becomes all about perspective, how are you seeing things? How do you want to see this? And in this you give yourself patience do the process. You allow yourself to know who said I had all the answers who said I knew who said I had to have this all figured out. And when I do that for myself, I allow myself an opportunity to grow not just go do things not just be a human doing but a human being. Yes, sir.

So take us back to the finale if you would, how long did you live once you got off the plane and got there.

So when I got there for three days the world was in this fight with me. All the teammates, all the churches all the for so for three days I have watched her face changed a watch. I knew that it was I just kept believing believing believing in a doctor came in and he said what Tommy we're going to have to put we're going to have to put cords in the feet or Oregon. So I'm thinking there's still potential there's time there's I'm going off in a chapel in the chapel is catty corner to her room. And on the third day I start seeing about seven families start coming in different rooms. And I didn't know what was going on. My marketing. My marketing guy comes in and he says, he said Tommy Have you seen this? I say no what? He shows me his phone. He says All Pro Tommy Harris wife passes away from a brain aneurysm. I found this out on the internet while she was in that room. I said what's the doctor bringing me right now like so he comes in and the doctor I say what is this about what it he said I told you day one that she's gray matter? I say so what does that mean? You should have known that she's rain. I said Wow. So every human that was coming in the seven families they all have a piece of my wife Oregon It's a bittersweet story but I learned I learned that no matter what color you are if if I was dying you're not gonna have a black heart or a white heart that's gonna say my life is you can't you say my life is the question. So it's a lot of maturity. I had to learn that and my promise from that part was I think about organs in our body I made a promise that God as long as you play my organs I'm gonna sing the sweetest song you ever I'm telling you for real and knowing that your organ your your life can save someone else and even if it doesn't get that rastrick start encouraging people start speaking up, start letting people know in this society now, if you don't notice everyone's going isolated, building their own brands, like how are we going to have companies with everyone has their own brand, whose group working together who's coming together and everyone's going off in these little isolations. And I'm watching people struggle in silence. When I need you, you need me. I like that orange shirt. You see how easy I was? Like that. It's just being able to speak into people, we need one another. And I'm telling you, I don't want you to believe me later. Please. Try like practice. I had to realize how did I get so good and football, I had to show up every day in practice. If I want to be good at love, I got to practice love. If I want to be good at finances, I have to find a place to practice what this is all about. And practice, practice, whatever it is in this world, you want to be great at rip it out. I didn't like talking in front of people. But I started working in little at the cash reg at the gas station. How you doing today, man? I knew I could sit there and act like nobody exists. But I know one day I want to do this for real. So how about I get a rep. Let me get a rep. Let me let me go hug a little kid and and see how they react. Okay, getting a rep I want to be better at this thing. So I'm showing up every day. What are you repping to get better at. And this all comes down. Because my wife Ashley taught me how to endure. I believe that I that moment in my life, transition everything to teach me how to not waste time and take advantage of every opportunity and be grateful for everything God gives you.

So, so tell me you go from having a funeral now being a single dad, talk about those moments. And then fast forward to your beautiful new wife Tasha. Yeah. So you have a total of four kids, five kids.

She has three and I have three. Yeah. And we lost four. Yeah, yeah. So you want to talk about

Yeah. Well, I brought you know, I brought him here. I mean, not just for your great story, but you guys are going to need to endure. Like, I mean, you're going to run into projects that are going to cause every hurdle and most people quit. And this isn't about quitting ever. This is finding that community which is here financially for you, business for you, you're gonna have all sorts of struggles. Are you going to go outside of here to find the answer? Are you going to trust that we are a collective community not segregating? We're coming together?

What is a chapter in a book that speaks about a call who's in your huddle? And it's identifying your huddle, like most people thought I was the NFL I have what's known as the I had to fast as get off. I mean, I can jump I can get across the line faster than the quarterback could backpedal out of there. So most quarterbacks love me on my team, because I could get the ball out real quick and make a decent cornerback look like all star. But my secret was everyone thought it was just so my get off was super fast. No, I just paid attention to details growing up in Germany, I had to learn how to read people lips, to try to understand. So if your huddle wasn't close, throughout a game, and you say on one on one on two on two in a huddle and close, I'm in your huddle. So when you say on two, on two for me, but most guys didn't pay attention to the details. The only the thing that made Peyton Manning and Tom Brady the greatest, they managed to huddles to hold you is Fort Knox, you every play they were in you did not know where he was at work, you couldn't get a cheat code. And that's what I learned in business was learning how to surround yourself with the proper huddle. And you also got to learn when to make cut. If you keep getting blindsided and hit by things, as much as I like you, I'm getting tore up back here. And you have to make the proper changes. And make sure that when you get the proper huddle that you keep it tight. And what is that sure enough to practice? Get to know rapid with one another asking questions wanting to learn Hey, you know about this you know about it? Well, let's learn about this. It's been that network of friends who's in your huddle is a very that's a

chapter Yeah. So in our words would be your huddled your mastermind. Your huddle is your coach. The large huddle is this whole community coming together. So you all get to serve more people and have more. So talk about those first like because that had But in some different lessons like you went home to be a single dad. Like, what? What inside of you? Did you have to muster up every day to keep those kids? Because you could have been just a depressed dad and gone home? And yeah, that's yours and you got kids to raise babies.

So I gotta tell you, the first thing I had to do was recognize it. This is going to be difficult.

When you quit. You quit the leg at that point. Yes, I

walked away from football because I had great coaches that knew that the game of life was bigger than the game of football. And I had it didn't matter. I mean, I was at tip top shape. I was running three, four minute miles. Like I was sprinting every I was ready to come back and play. But no coach foot none of my coaches. I was mad at first, but I didn't understand got over it after buying a coach named Rod Marinelli. He's one of the best defensive line coach. But he was a man first and he said, Tommy, what kind of coach when he was in the Dallas Cowboys. I was back in Texas. I'm like, I know for sure I can go and play in Dallas. He said no. He said you need to you need to take care of those children. And he said if something happens to you, Tommy these kids don't have a parent and you did this just for ball. You got enough money. He said love on these kids and go heal your heart and play that game. He said that's the real game.

Got a great man.

Great, great man. Yeah. greatly. Right Man, Natalie. He taught me a lot of different things.

What else did he teach you?

Stick cotton in your years

thick cotton.

Oh, he was a trench will you ever know you've ever heard of the trench? War War to the trench guy. He was wandering down. So Rod Marinelli would come in in the morning and ask you how you doing? And you'll say, Well, I'm going nobody gives us he was a mental guy. He didn't care. He said nobody cares how you think people really care when they heal from football football as a coach like that's, you know, but right mentally taught me stick cotton in yours. And sticking cotton in yours is very important to a defensive lineman but I use it a real life because when someone is sticking cotton yours mean that no matter what this person is like when you hear you jump offsides because you're listening to the cow you're not watching what's happening. So stick cotton in your allows you to see what see people footwork instead of hearing wordplay

action verbs Yeah,

I love you but you never move right? You don't

right? If you can only see Are you are you really don't get

how are you doing? And you just moving on to the next subject. But sticking cotton in here allows you to really see you're not listening in so many words. You're watching people feet move.

Yeah. Okay, so God wasn't done teaching you endure.

No, I'm still endures my life.

But I'd like to move on to Tasha the baby and come on. Come on.

Bring it on, I teared up or you know. So now at this point, I'm with a beautiful woman that I was with since since she's awesome. I've known her in high school, but she taped my ankles and how she was two years older than me. We never thought we were tall. I was fat. She was fat. Like, no, it was just not one of them things we wouldn't I wasn't attracted to her. She wouldn't talk to me. We were just cool. And suddenly I started a hair salon. After I retired in her spare time she likes to do decorating. And after that, she came in decorate and we just caught back up in life and one thing led to another and I have a beautiful doctor now. Yeah, as a partner and not just a doctor, but she's just a great soul, a great a great person. And I just tells you that no matter what you're going through, I've just committed to hold her hand and grow through this and and my journey the rest of my life is just to go and to deal hope to someone that feels like tomorrow when they don't want to be here tomorrow. They can't get out of bed or they can't. Why am I doing this because I fell in a place of nihilism, depression, anxiety and the reason I speak I speak most I believe in mineral wealth. That's what I need because my head was in a million places and it weren't for the grace of God. I don't think I can sit here and be routed into something that is I trust God. I don't And I'm sorry if that offends anybody but I need him. It helps me to Gather. But I want to tell this quick story about Mount Kilimanjaro. Yeah. So, after losing my wife, I had a chance to go to Mount Kilimanjaro. And I told you, it took me five days to get up something and it took me three hours to get down. And it really on this mountain, if you ever get a chance to do it, if you haven't done it, there's a five day hike and a 10 day hike. But you learn the spirit of acclamation. And when you're acclimated, that means you can go to the top, and you can go right back down to the bottom, you can go to the top, you go to the bottom, you go with the people back home on the porch, you go with the people at the White House, you go down here what you can deal with once but you got to do the work. Every step was like this. The first five days, if I opened my gate longer than this, my lungs of explode. The journey of the mountain literally had to invite me up it and you had to respect the process of the mountain. If I was a native of Tanzania, what takes me five days to get if they can get up and down in nine hours. They acclimate. And you tell me I'm a football. I went up there, Ray Lewis, the owner of Under Armour, we had all these jacked up guys. And there was little guys with about 130 pounds, carrying our sleeping tent. They were acclimated so they could go up and down as they please. But we had to do this. And every step our guard will say, Poli, Poli. Every day you will hit it all day for five days. Poorly poorly. Where are you rushing your mouth on life's mountain in Georgia views? So where are you rushing on life's mountain? Are you too busy that you can't see your children needing you? Are you too busy that you can't see a friend and I don't know how he committed suicide. You are too busy. And if you slow down someone can use you I don't care what you're feeling about yourself. Some one could use your help. But when we get an isolation we believe that we nobody and I'm going through this no there's a kid out here I just love my book has just been put in all the geo prisons I have a program called door for all prison reform. And these we just did a serving event in Florida yesterday and all these kids lives were change just by coming there and slowing down I didn't know a touch could change a man's heart that's been behind bars for 17 years and no one even gives them eye contact or I didn't know little stuff we have little kids that are just got over from from Haiti. While we were praying at one of the little kids put his hands in my pocket and I was like what what he put his hands in my pocket and his eyes was closed during prayer I said I said Jack why would why would this guy put his hand in my pocket? He said he don't want to go home he doesn't want you to leave him

we all need it's deeper than being all this this stuff but if we could just learn Polish and Swahili pole a pole a means to slow down Where are you rushing on life man? What what took me when we got to the top we submitted I saw the biggest views but guess what's at the top? You can only stay at the top of his mind for two minutes are you going to freeze to death and the issue with most of us is that we get elevated so high in life that we don't come down and we stay up here and we get so cold hearted we can't relate to people down at this level we don't know what they're talking about. We're so far and distant. I did better I went to Harvard I went to Yeah, it's not about it's about sharing your journey with others inspiring because hey, I made it up there. Maybe you should see what I saw on day three out there. Maybe man the views look different sleeping under the stars. And you be able to talk and encourage people throughout the process but you got to go through the process and get acclimated and that slowing down seeing people moment by moment minute by minute. And when we start in this real thing I'm talking about God does something inside that no man can take away no man can steal no man can can talk you out of it. You just know that you know that you know you know and I know from this day for my job is to go tell it on a mountain hey that you will make it you're going to be alright. You will be I noticed happen but you got to get back up so many people depending on you. But you first must go through life's process and slow down. All right, that's what I got.

So, I'm going to take you a place you might not want to go, but we're gonna go. So you lost a child. So now he lost his wife also has gone through the death of a job. I don't know how many of you have ever outliving your children is I couldn't imagine it. So and I know a lot of people who have How did you not get angry and pissed off? And like, I mean, at some point during all of this, like you it has been brought to you. All right, what you've gone through, like, what are some of the like, the prayer was a god the whole time? I mean, at some point, weren't you angry? Like,

I still? I'm human. Yeah, so I have

talked to that. Because you don't have that, like, where you just like, get angry.

But what is it gonna do? You could look in the mirror and see your face balled up and it's been three years you'd like I'm tired of looking ugly. So what you're gonna learn, you're gonna learn how can I endure this thing? How do I know I have a son, depending on me a door. I still have life here. And God had to show me that Tommy, I didn't put a bunk bed in the casket. You didn't go? She did. You have still you still have to finish the work. We're all here running in lives race. We're all here. And our job is to endure to the end. That's what God calls us endure, run the race. Everybody has their own race. And I've learned that my kids are depending on me to continue to keep moving. I have people that are where I've changed so many marriages. Because I was like that guy like God, why didn't you let that happen to my friend and I would have got it right and do so I I have a lot of friends that come to me and say Tommy, man, since the day that has happened, you changed my life, I hold my wife different. I go home and talk to my kids different. I go so don't think you just took a loss. He said Man, you've allowed a lot of people to win if they've been focusing. And I remember I've learned that through the process that one man's obedience is connected to so many other people's destiny. So I know that if I if I if I make this selfish and all about me, no one gets help. But if I can go and get help and make this about everyone knows because I have to get help because I have kids. I have a mom, I have sisters waiting. Everyone begins to learn from my vulnerability to get help to realize I don't have all the answer is I don't know. But I'm not going to stay in this sorry condition of feeling bad for myself. Not getting up from this place. I must find out how to win. Endure.

So talk about the book I love so use football metaphors throughout. So it's a it's an easy read the separate the emotional part

with the first four chapters. Yeah, but then it takes off and it takes

off. But it's fine. So talk about just your journey of writing the book like from finding the huddle to just the process of you putting words to paper it's not as easy as everybody thinks.

It's not easy it's like pulling open and scattered. That's what I was talking about in that video. We cut it short because that's one of my friends that got rushed to the hospital yesterday for a heartbeat my video guy and on my way here he sent me he said Man The doctor said I was about to die and all this I just want to show you what I got on the documentary so far. Just in case something happens so he asked me Do you have any answer? Well, I'll shoot I'll give you a little short that they're finishing on me but my

so the journey for the book we did you want to write it? Did Nick asked you to write it had the book come about? No

duh. I was saying all that because my video tog refer guy, Jay, he pushed me to take a leap of faith. And he say bro, you know you're going around telling all this stuff. I don't like being on camera, right? I'm not a salesman. And she knows that I promise I'm better at a barbecue or in your living room or at church either but trying to merge it together when it becomes a

lot but all these people I said you're gonna go up there by yourself

by myself, but I'm not afraid to come up here by myself. I just don't I don't like flabbergasted like just wasted. Yeah, I feel compensated Yeah. Right. So this book came about a friend challenged me to go ahead and do what I've been doing I do in business school. I was right I just been writing I'm already on my second book called Only time will tell. But this book here was just a was like the finishing point of that. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself anymore. I I've sat in this long enough, it's been seven years, especially when you lose a loved one. You're trying to respect their family like you can't, I didn't want to hurry up and get married because I didn't want to feel like I was over what it was just a lot in the process of acclamation. So this book just challenged me to go and be brave enough to take a leap of faith and, and once you're done with this book, you're not going to fit this. When I finished writing that book, it became a scar it the pain didn't hurt anymore. It's like I laid everything out on the table. And it's step by steps of things that helped me get through dealing with my pain and my different situations.