In this special episode of Lab Partners, Nic Strack interviews Eréndira Jiménez about her new eight-week circle, “Tending the Revolt.” The conversation explores how caregiving, creativity, and liberation can coexist—especially for parents and caregivers who are seeking to integrate revolutionary ideas into their daily lives. They discuss:

• How the 8-week circle serves as a communal space for reflection and creativity
• Shifting experiences & expressions of liberation and activism from something more “combustible” to something more intimate, poetic, and lived in the everyday
• Exploring stories, myth weaving, and community wounds
• The power of gathering honestly, without agenda, to discover transformation through mutual presence
• Launching as a practice of liberation itself

You can find details and registration for Tending the Revolt: Caregiving, Poetics, and Liberation in the Everyday at eje.myflodesk.com/tendingtherevolt

🧪This episode’s Lab Partners:

• Eréndira Jiménez is a 5/2 Emotional Manifestor with 1 kiddo, aged 1.5
• Nic Strack is a 4/6 Sacral Generator with two kiddos, aged 2 and (almost) 9

You can find more about them and their other lab partners at kelseyrosetort.com/labpartners, including bodygraphs, natal charts, and ways to connect with their work.

💖 Stay tuned: New episodes of LAB PARTNERS are released weekly-ish, usually on the Moon’s day

Intro & Music by Noah Souder-Russo

The laboratory is a space of intimacy and mirroring.

I'm just gonna rip with it and see what wants to come out.

Something's happening.

I was just thinking that.

A lab partner is someone who I can share my incomplete, uncooked, unfinished work with.

Laboratory feels like a laboratory in general is a womb space for all of.

We are mothering and creation.

I'm having an embodied experience, stretchy like vibrant in this container so far.

Relating in ways that feel energetically congruent for me, relating to other people and relating to myself and in collaborative community.

As a human who helped me find.

The lightness and like the humor.

The creative process is fucking dope and.

Also it's fucking like humbling.

To fall.

Apart and be witnessed by all of us.

Laboratory.

A laboratory.

A laboratory is an incubator, a place to generate, to initiate, to guide, to mirror collaboratory, stretching my capacity.

Lab Partners is a behind the scenes conversation series amongst eight folks who are in a season of experimentation with creativity, authenticity, relationship, collaboration and visibility.

We're letting you in on our processes as we unpack them together.

Each of us speak the language of human design and some of us astrology as well.

These frameworks for awareness have supported our embodied differentiation and relational understanding.

We invite listeners to observe us through these lenses too.

Today's conversation is between me, Erindira Jimenez, five two, emotional manifestor with one kiddo who's a year and a half, and.

Me, Nick Strack, a four six sacral generator with two kiddos who are ages almost nine and two and a half.

You can learn about our astrology and designs in the show notes and find even more about us and our other collaborators@kelseyrosetort.com LabPartners Today's episode has a little.

Bit of a different feel.

Nick is interviewing me, Erin Dera, about my new offering, Tending the Revolt, which starts on October 23rd.

This conversation is a bit of an experiment in trying to launch in innocent, motivated ways.

For more information about my offering, you can look at the show notes or check it out on eje.myflodist.com/tending the revolt.

Okay.

Hi Nick.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, Erin.

Deira.

Oh man, I always feel so silly starting a podcast.

It's like, where do you start?

I have somewhere to start.

Yeah, yeah, I have somewhere.

I am very excited to learn more about your new program that you're offering.

Wait, how are.

What are you referring to it as?

Okay, so we're starting.

Sorry, right off the top.

Yep.

So, yeah, so I'm calling it more of a circle Than, like, an offering.

Because I. I do want it to feel more collaborative and, like, flat, like.

Yeah, yeah.

It's called Tending the Revolt.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, Tending.

Tending the Revolt.

And then can you give.

Because of how my brain works, can you give me some of the, like, logistical pieces of, like, how are you do.

Are you meeting how often?

Like, that kind of stuff?

This is, like, how I make sense of things.

No worries.

No worries.

Okay.

Actually, I'm gonna back up for anyone listening.

Okay.

Yes.

I love it.

Thank you.

No, I love it.

Well, I. Yeah, I. I wanted to talk with you because.

Yeah, I have this offering that I will tell you the logistics about in a second.

But, yeah, I just.

I experience you as someone that is, like, just, like, really able to, like, pull out, like, what I can't see.

You have this little gift of, like, I don't know, just, like, synthesizing and, like, weaving together information, which I think that's all of your Gemini placements.

I don't know if you experience that experience.

Is that in you?

No idea.

But.

So, yeah, and then, like, as.

As a parent and also, I think as a parent trying to do parenting in, like, radically different ways compared to, like, what's considered normative, I think.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I was just like, Nick is gonna be a fun person to talk about this with, but the circle is called Tending the Revolt, and it's.

It's eight weeks, really, of gathering.

And.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

I don't even know what to say about it.

It's like, it's for parents.

It's for caregivers.

The subtitle is Caregiving, Poetics and Liberation.

So it's really about.

It's about people who are in roles of, like, nurturing, intending, and who maybe don't feel like they have the time, the energy, the space for kind of, like, what we might imagine revolutionary work is, you know, the people who are thinking about the next generations.

And, like, what does liberation mean?

And, like, does.

I've been using this, like, term liberation formation.

Like, what does it mean to form little humans that are, like, liberation minded?

And.

And what does, like, liberation even mean?

You know, it's like, exploring these themes and.

And, like, how do we do it in a way that is poetic, creative, that is imaginative, and is also just, like, lived in the everyday?

And I think, like, before I had kids.

Kids.

One child.

Before I had one child, a year and a half ago, I don't know, activism felt really big.

It felt very, like, combustible, maybe, is a good word.

Like, it just felt very, like, you know, like, I was really angry for a while and.

And since, like, having my baby girl, like, a lot of that's, like, slowed down and, like, softened and so, you know, like, what is it?

What does it look like to.

Yeah, to tend to the revolt.

Tend to the revolution from this, like, place of, like, what seems mundane and every day.

I don't know.

And I think I. I have at times in the last year and a half, experienced almost like, my sense of.

I don't want to say justice.

That's not really it.

It's a good Libra season word that's coming up.

Yeah, just this sense of, like, what is my place?

Like, move and shift the world when so much of me is like, is.

Is attuned to this, like, little human, you know?

Like, I don't.

I.

And I like, I honestly really admire the people that have, like, the energy to do all of the things.

But I am not a manifesting generator, you know, I'm a manifester, so I'm like, I can go hard, and then it's like, crash.

I got nothing.

And so in those, like, moments of, like, seeming nothing, in those moments where, like.

And I also experienced that nothing is like, like, the void where, like, creative energy just, like, starts to, like, come together.

Right?

So it seems very, like, inactive from the outside, but it's actually like, there's a lot of generative movement happening on the inside, but, like, that is this, like, place of poetry.

And it's, like, tied to my child, but it's also tied to the world.

It's tied to, like, liberation for myself.

It's tied to, like, liberation for my communities.

It's tied to, like, liberation from the world, but it's not always, like, big and, like, bold and, like, explosive and, like.

Yeah, so it's a little bit of that.

It's like, it's for the people who are, like, in this place of, like.

Yeah, like, there was a moment in my life where, like, I could do those things.

And like, now those moments maybe don't feel as accessible, but I still feel like I want to explore those themes and concepts and, like, I want to be in relationship with people who are, like, thinking about caregiving in, like, radical ways.

Like, how do we.

Anyway, this is.

Yeah, that's kind of like the.

The intro, dude.

Okay, thank you for that.

I. I had some, like, visuals coming up when I was listening to you, and one that kept getting added to as you were talking was kind of like the.

If I'm.

If all the space above my head that I'm waving my arms around in is like, philosophy.

Like, ideas about things, maybe, like, yeah, some of those bigger things, like activism, justice, that.

And then if I, like, bring my hands together, like, in front of me, and I'm like, what am I bringing into my body?

Like, the way that the philosophy of activism might have come into my body and been expressed through some sort of physical practice may have looked very different in the past than the way that it's.

That I'm going to breathe life into that, in me now.

And it sounds like you're creating a circle to be a space of discovery, exploration, and, like, communication around that, where each person has an opportunity to reflect on their own, like, overarching, like, life philosophies, but then also, like, bringing it into their current present body and being like, okay, how do I want to breathe life into that now, given that my circumstances are what they are?

Am I getting you?

Does this feel like.

Oh, my gosh.

I'm like, thank you for, like, synthesizing it all.

Amazing.

Amazing, dude.

Like, yeah.

Wow.

Incredible.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't know if it's like.

I don't know if it's an age thing or if it's just like, I don't know, a shift in identity thing, but yeah, it's like.

I think the younger me, like, really likes to live in those ideas and, like, likes to live in, like, almost like the etheric and not even abstract, but just like.

Yeah, like the intellectualization of all of it.

You know, let's think about the ideas.

Like, let's.

And yeah, I think I'm in a season right now where it's like, I'm.

I'm like, this has to be practically enacted.

Right?

And I think for maybe like, non parents or non caregivers, like, whether that's like, you know, tending to elders or like, whatever.

Like, the ways that that's enacted looks really different.

But I didn't really expect.

Well, I mean, what.

How can you expect what'll happen when you become a parent?

I get.

I mean, we can't.

But wow.

Do we try to.

Right, Right.

Yeah, Like, I guess I just.

And I don't even want to say that parenting is all consuming because that's not really it.

But it's just like my focus, like, just went.

It just like, went small, you know, it like, it went into, like, the most important thing right now is, like, making space for my daughter to play and, like, making space for her to, like, experience the range of emotions and, like, Learn how to, like, hold them in her body.

You know, like, it's like, okay, what does it look like to.

Yeah, like, one of the things I really think about a lie is like, what are the stories that I want to give my daughter?

You know, like, we live in a world of stories, and some of those stories have been helpful, and many have been harmful.

So, like, you know, I will say this.

I grew up.

I grew up Christian.

I grew up in that story.

And there's many beautiful things about that story that I still, you know, love.

But there was also a lot about the story that got distorted.

And it's like, how do I. Yeah.

Like, how do I honor that?

Like, there's aspects of that story that my daughter, like, might want and need to hear.

But then there's like, other stories, there's other narratives, there's other cosmologies and, like.

And there's no, like, place to go for that.

You know, like, it's actually like we're all just kind of weaving it up as we go.

You know, we don't necessarily do that in communities unless it's like a very formal, like, this is your mosque or your synagogue or your church.

Because if you're not in those spaces anymore, then you're like, well, my story's a bit of a hodgepodge.

My babies are getting hodgepodge stories too.

And so I think also the circle is.

I want it to be a space where we just come with our stories and we're trying to figure out what are the new myths that we're weaving.

Because we need stories.

We're story people.

We cannot exist without story.

But our stories are shifting, and if we're doing that by ourselves, you know, we can get lost in the sauce a little bit.

Yeah.

I mean, I even hear in that this piece of, like, we co write the news stories together when we're leaving hyper individualism, you know, and like, moving toward, like, community, but not even.

Not in that old homogenized way, but from this place.

Like.

Like what we're doing in collaboratory.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Yeah.

That sounds so cool.

I mean, I think it'll be really cool.

I hope it's really cool.

Yeah.

And there's like, there's like, readings and stuff too.

So it's like there's two types of circles.

There's like, there's like four weeks.

Not four, it's like every other week, but four of the weeks are a little more structured.

So there'll be like some readings, you know, like womanist writers, indigenous Writers, poets, some essays, but just, you know, to.

To be reminded that we, you know, coexist in this, like, community of, like, ancestors and witnesses and that we're not, like, we're not just, like, creating these, like, new stories by ourselves.

Right.

Like, we're.

Right.

We're stepping into, like, lineages.

So.

Yeah.

Like, how do we interact with, like, the thoughts that other people have had before us?

So there is, like, this, like, heady element to it.

Sure.

Because I'm.

I'm an academic, too, so I'm like, I just.

I want to think about these things.

I miss the.

You know, it's like wheels on the bus.

Every single day is, like, a little deadening inside.

Heard that.

Yeah.

But then there's also, like, four weeks of integration.

So how do the themes of the previous week.

What kind of small shifts does that make in your everyday life?

And then coming together and being able to say, yeah, I saw this theme pop up in my life in this moment, and it's, like, making me think about, like, this aspect of, like, caregiving or my creativity or, like, liberation in new ways.

Yeah.

I don't really like to hold circles that are, like, directed necessarily.

And I think maybe that's also why, like, sometimes I offer things and people are like, what?

Like, what's the end goal?

You know, And I'm like, well, there really is no end goal.

Like, I don't have an end goal for you in mind.

Like, your end goal is your own end goal.

Like, it's.

It's.

However you choose to show up in your journey is like, then that's where you're going to end up on your journey.

Um, so what I really like.

Yeah, I mean, I.

It's funny as a fifth line, right.

Because it's like, solutions, and.

But I think the solution is, like, gathering among others with your full self and in that process, like, discovering the next parts of yourself that are, like, wanting to have, like, space to be seen or heard.

And I. I think I. I've been experiencing that a lot in collaboratory.

Whoa.

Okay.

I just.

Oh, go ahead.

Sorry.

I just.

I just wrote down.

It sounds like you're creating the conditions for autonomous self reflection, but, like.

But that there's this community aspect of it.

So it's not like everyone has to go and do it alone, like, the conditions that you're creating.

It's like, within that, the folks, each individual person is going to have their own thing.

But I do hear in that that you do.

You come with.

You come holding the larger structure within which there's no agenda, you know, like, there's.

But I really do hear, like, the.

The opportunity that you're creating space for by organizing it in this way.

That's what I'm hearing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, I think that's right.

I.

Maybe it's like a manifester thing, you know?

Like, I don't really like to be told what to do.

I mean, I don't think anybody really likes to be told what to do.

But I. I'm like.

All I really need is, like, space.

Like, space to be in my own exploration.

And I've got some, like.

I mean, I shared about this when we all first joined collaboratory.

Like, I have some real community wounds, and it's been, like, hard for me to gather with other people for a number of years.

And the thing that's been, like, so healing for me and, like, collaboratory is that, like, I get to be, like, totally myself among others who are also being totally themselves.

And it's, like, in that honesty and, like, transparency and vulnerability, like, yeah, like, my own transformation is happening.

But, like, I couldn't have, like, predicted it.

I couldn't have said, I'm gonna step into collaboratory, and this is gonna be how I'm gonna come out changed on the other side.

It's like, I'm gonna step in a collaboratory.

I have no idea what it is, to be honest.

You know, like, what is this thing that I'm going into?

It's just like a portal, and then I'm gonna get inside and, like, let myself, like, get all.

You know, we're shaking our shoulders.

Cause, like, that's what it feels like.

It's like, oh, loosening up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it's a little bit of that, too, where I'm like, just, like.

Like, just come.

Like, there's, like.

You don't even have to come with a particular.

Like.

Yeah.

Like.

Yeah, like, if you feel the pole, come.

I hear that.

Yeah.

And it just feels so, like.

Like.

Relaxing in my body to think about.

Just as I'm, like, slowly titrating to being, like.

To using Instagram again and, like, having that be a way that I spend my energy.

I'm just being reminded about how often I.

Whether or not someone is, like, sharing a truth on their end.

I am anyways, just heartily suspicious of almost, like, everything going on there.

And so just, like, imagining, like, meeting in real time with people or, like, via the recording, whatever.

Wait, are you doing recordings?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes.

Okay.

Got it.

Yeah.

Like, however that energetically feels aligned for people, like just spaces for fucking realness, like realness feel so fucking necessary.

And I think it just sounds like a really, a cool place for folks to get to do self awareness alongside each other and also like the weaving of parenthood right now, like literally in this time right now, it just seems like a cool space to open for folks who are wanting to be self aware and tending to the revolt and like being creative people while being parents.

Like, yeah, I'm excited.

I'm excited about this.

Yeah.

I don't know how any of it works, but I know that it does.

You know, I know that all those things go together.

Yeah.

They're like living inside of me.

So I'm like, right, Surely.

Surely.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So how did you, like, how did.

I'm curious to know more of the like history of how this came about.

Like, how did you, how did this come through you?

Yeah.

I think trying to like take it back because it's been like on.

It's been like moving in me for a number of months, I think in the spring I was so.

I was like in this community type space that was really, it was like starting.

I was like, it was like starting to be out of alignment for me.

Like when I joined it was like, it was like the right thing and I like really needed to be there.

I had some stories that I needed to kind of like sort through around like some of the themes in there.

And I also was like, I need to, I need to be in groups of people.

I need to see what that feels like.

I haven't been around groups of people in a long time, like years.

I, you know, left my job.

I was like working in the Episcopal Church where I had been like very community minded for a decade, doing lots of different work there.

And it just like burned me out like really, really bad.

And then I was like, I'm just going to do my own thing.

Started my business, trying to figure that out and move back home to San Diego.

And just like San Diego is also just a hard place for me.

So I couldn't quite find my people.

Couldn't quite figure out how to like get out to find my people.

That's.

It's not even that like people weren't here.

It was like I don't even know myself well enough to like go into a space and be like, hi, I'd like to meet you.

Because it's like I don't even know who I'm introducing anymore.

Wow.

Yeah.

So there was a lot of that that needed to happen.

Then, you know, I got pregnant.

And that was like, its whole journey of, like, into the void and back and, like, everything in my business dissolving.

And, like, I had no access to my own creativity during that time.

So it was like I was just.

It was darkness.

Very.

Yeah, very, like, overwhelming.

And then coming out of that and then into postpartum, and it's just like.

Then you're a new parent, new mother.

Just like, its own whole thing.

Feeling, like, lonely, but also, like, not, like.

I don't know if this is true or not, but I felt true at the time that, like, the ways that most communities are organized just doesn't feel good for me because I have often experienced community equaling sameness.

And so the way to belong is to be the same as everybody else.

And check your difference at the door.

Like, any difference is, like, threatening.

And, you know, I think they're.

Yeah.

I just.

I feel very different than most people.

And so.

And some of that is, you know, my own stuff, but I do think I've often walked into spaces as this, like, differentiated person, and it's just like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You're too intimidating.

Like, you need to tone that down.

Like, you're too much.

It's like.

And so it's like, I don't.

I don't really want to go through that, like, experience.

And I. I did end up experiencing some of that in this, like, community that I'd been a part of.

And I was like, okay, I need to.

Like, clearly I have.

I, like, have.

You know, I have, like, chiron in my 11th house.

So that's.

What does that mean?

Oh, the Chiron is like, like, the wounded healer.

Like.

Like, we need Kelsey or, like, Amalia right now to tell us.

I'm like, my.

My basic.

But then the 11th house is like the house of community collaboration, like, co.

Vision.

And so, like, for me, there's a lot of tenderness around.

Yeah.

Like, participating in community.

Yeah.

So.

But it's like, I also know that, like, what Chiron asks of us is to, like, transmute those wounds.

And, like, when we, like, transmute those wounds, we can actually, like, offer.

Extend healing to others.

And so I'm like, oh, I gotta.

I face my own community wounds so that I can, like, yeah.

Extend new ways of being community to other people.

And so simultaneously, I'm like, in my feelings about this old community, feeling, like, okay, I want to be a new community.

And underneath all of it is like, I don't have time or space for myself, for my Creative practice.

Because I'm like, you know, I.

If you're listening to lab partners, you listen to our last.

The last one that I was on with Maru and Kelsey, we were talking about resourcing.

There's also, like, in this whole journey around, like, resourcing, and it's like, I need my child to be in daycare, so I have, like, the time and space for my creativity, but I don't have the resource to pay for daycare.

So it's like this, you know.

Yes, you know, this, like catch 22.

And so, yeah, I was feeling a lot of feelings of like, I want to, like, move on my creativity, like, I want to move on my work.

Capital W work.

But, like, I feel really limited in my capacity because of, like, the systems that we like, live under.

You know, they intentionally limit our creativity, they intentionally limit our time for play, they intentionally limit our.

Our time for like, gather and not to just like, work.

You know, they limit our time to just be with one another.

And so, yeah, it's like trying to.

I was like, you just like, what is.

Like, what am I doing here?

I don't even know what I'm doing.

And I was also just feeling a little starved for, like, mental stimulation because, like, I was with her 24 7, you know, and like, love it, love being a parent.

But also it's like, there's only so much like, baby stuff that you can like, of course, listen to day in and day out.

And yeah, I. I just started, like, playing.

I was like, honestly playing with AI and I was like, like, what could I read?

Like, these are some things I'm interested in, you know, Decolonization, parenting, motherhood, meaning making liberation, transformation.

Gimme some authors, you know, like, put together, like, some.

Some folks I had never read.

And then I was like, what if I didn't do this by myself?

You know, like, what if I didn't read by myself?

What if I, like, invited other people to, like, read with me?

Because I don't think I'm the only person that feels this kind of, like, loneliness and like, stuckness and they're like creativity and in their, like, sense of purpose and in their sense of identity.

And, you know, I have, like, deep desire to live in a liberated world.

But what does that look like when I'm like, grinding through, like, the mundane every day?

Yeah, right.

Yeah.

So I've mostly just been holding it for a while, waiting for the right time.

Quote, unquote.

Right time.

Yeah.

So that's like the other thing, right, is that's like, part of this journey is it's just jumping and saying, okay, I'm just gonna, like, offer it, like, like always waiting for, like, the right time, the perfect time, and like, it just doesn't exist.

So.

Right.

Yeah.

So anyway, that's just me throwing out a bunch of words.

I'll just.

I'll just talk.

I love it.

I am getting a lot out of this.

Like, I really appreciate hearing the backstory of it because it.

I was thinking back to some of those times in my own.

Like, both times I've been postpartum and for sure, having a group, I think part of what was difficult for me was like, I only want to connect with people where it feels easy for me to connect with them.

So, like, because I had such little energy at that time, especially just right postpartum, it's like the type of mental stimulation that you're talking about.

Like, I'm only going to get that from a select certain of my friends, let's say.

And literally at the time, one of my closest friends, we gave birth on the same day.

We live in different states and our pregnancies were like two.

And we started like two and a half weeks apart.

But, like, we had been connecting many times daily all throughout our pregnancies.

Then we both gave birth on the same day.

And I still was wanting that type of connection and she wasn't available for it in the same way, totally understandably.

And it was very difficult for me to, yeah, like, find to have that embodied sense of support with people where it felt like I could just do that without having to, like, know them.

And then there were these few, like, other parents that I met whose kids are within a week of my baby because we all happen to use the same doula company.

And then I ended up connecting with some folks and our kids are like, almost two and a half now.

And we've been friends since our babies were like a couple months old.

And that has been incredible for me.

And that was like the first time that I was really consistently, like, seeing people in person.

And it was really fucking hard.

Like, yeah, it's really difficult.

So, like, the idea of being able to.

Because, like, at that time, trying to leave the house with a baby or whatever, I'm just thinking of that.

Like, there's so many steps of that.

But yeah, yeah, the ease of voxer was so nice.

And I'm just.

I love that you're offering this for folks.

Like, it feels so easeful to be able to just like, roll up to a zoom call, you know, and just be fucking real and be held in the realness for eight weeks.

Like, wow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think even, like, you know, to that point, like, I do intend on having some kind of, like, digital, like, space, like, to kind of continue conversations, like, throughout.

Throughout the week, because I also.

Oh, cool.

You know, as a parent, it's like, well, I maybe planned on being able to have that block of time, and then, you know, life happens, and, like, now I can't.

And, like, did I miss it?

And, yeah, I love that.

You know, like, I only have, like, the 10 minutes while I'm, like, trying to go to the bathroom and, like, poop.

And, like, even then my kid is, like, banging on the door crying for me.

But, like, can I catch, like, five minutes of audio?

You know, listen to a voice note.

And so it's like, we don't have an endless amount of time, but we do have, like, pockets of time.

You know, we do have, like, a little bit here, a little bit there.

And I have been finding that, like, even just those, like, little bits when it's like, when it's the right people in the right community in the right space, it's like, that's enough.

Yeah.

And I've had this idea in the past.

It's, like, challenging my own narratives that I'm like, I need, like, everything needs to be cleared for this, like, one thing.

Right.

And it's like, sometimes, like, the.

It's just like stepping into the circle and trusting that, like, whatever it is that you can give is going to be enough.

You don't have to give it a hundred.

Like, even just giving 10%, you're still going to get something because of, like, the way you're, like, entering into the space.

I've had, like, so much juiciness in, like, the conversations I've observed other people having in collaboratory, you know, when we, like, record our breakouts or you're, like, not in a breakout, and then you, like, listen to other people talking and you're like, not in the space.

And it's like, still, like, whoa, yes.

You know, like, you don't actually have to be the one having the conversation to necessarily be, like, experiencing the transformation.

True.

That's so true.

And I think that now I'm thinking about just how in the past I have mentally told myself that, like, the way to get the most out of being in a blah, blah, blah is by participating in X, Y and Z correct way, you know, like, all of that.

And then it'd be like, oh, well, now I missed A call.

Oh.

Now I can't listen to the next call until I'm caught up, so I can't even, like, go get the next call.

It's just that fucking.

It builds up so fast.

Yeah.

And, like, I just love the idea of creating a space where you're just, like, offering trust to yourself and everyone in it to participate in the ways that are going to work for them.

And just like.

And maybe they won't work for them, and then they'll come back and you'll talk about it, and then they'll be like, here's the shift that I'm going to try or whatever.

Like, just all of that and be able to bring it.

It.

Like, that feels.

Yeah.

I love it.

Yeah.

Neat.

I know.

I hope.

I mean, I think it's neat.

I hope other people think it's neat.

Yeah.

You have, like, a. Oh.

Oh, go ahead.

I was going logistical.

Were you going somewhere else?

I don't even know where I was going.

Okay.

All right.

I'm wondering, like, if you have a sense of how is there, like, a number of people or a cap or a desired participants in it.

I mean, honestly, at this point, like, I'm open to any number.

I mean, I think.

So we're kind of coming.

Coming into, like, the launch conversation.

Right.

Of, like, how do we.

Tell me.

It's hard.

It's, like, really hard to.

I've always really struggled with, like, inviting people into my offers, not because I don't believe in them, but because they don't even necessarily make sense to me sometimes.

So I'm like.

I don't really know what I'm offering you.

Like, I don't know what I'm inviting you into.

So that lack of clarity has often felt like, like, a block.

And I think that's why I'm like.

I want to experiment with, like, different ways of talking about this offering.

Yeah.

So, yeah, like, full transparency.

Like, I haven't had any.

Anyone sign up yet, which is an interesting thing to just kind of, like, observe with the mind, you know?

Like, the mind is definitely, like, wants to make that, like, right or wrong or, like, good or bad.

Like, wants to live in a primary of that.

And my body's just, like, feels very okay with that.

Like, I mean, if I only have, like, two people join the circle, Like, I think three people gathering together is, like, you know, beautiful and enough.

And yes.

Like, you know, whatever needs to happen with three people will be absolutely perfect.

If, you know, 10 people sign up, that'll be a totally different experience.

Like, there will be more, a different kind of movement and energy.

And so I don't.

I'm not really the kind of person, like, this would be ideal or this would be perfect.

I'm more just, like, I want the right people to.

To be in, and I want people who are, like, willing to kind of be in, like, messy exploration of, like, even what the circle is.

Right.

Like, yeah.

So I get that, like, that really won't be for a lot of people.

Yeah.

Did you say that wouldn't be for a lot of people?

I don't know.

Maybe, like, maybe that's a projection, but I.

Sometimes I'm like, I don't think that that's for a lot of people, but maybe I'm well enough credit, you know, Maybe more people do want that, but Because I haven't been, like, clear about, like, that being what it is.

So there's also, like, a little bit of.

Even as I say that, I'm like, oh, wow, maybe you're, like, blocking your own self, you know, Like.

Like, you project onto people.

Like, we all live in the projection field.

Like, maybe you're projecting on the people something that's, like, not even true for them, because you're not even giving them the information that they might want or need.

Oh, interesting.

Damn responsibility.

Responsibility.

Mm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

How has the launch been feeling so far for you?

What do you even define a launch as?

Cause you said we were coming to the launch talk, and then I was like, okay, tell me.

Tell me about this.

What is launch?

Well, I think it's like, when you.

When you, like, put an offer out there, you know, or when you put in an invitation out there.

In the past, I have had a lot of fear around, like, rejection.

And.

Again, like, I think this is a story that I have of, like, oh, like, you're too.

Like, your ideas are too weird.

Like, they don't make sense.

And I. I really believe it's, like, hard to sell something if, like, you're afraid of that thing.

Really hard to sell something.

And I use that word intentionally because it is, like, it is a sale, right?

Like, there is an exchange here that's happening, and it will be, like, of energy and money, which is its own energy.

I used to have a lot of, like, ick around selling.

Like, it felt, you know, like, manipulative.

It felt just like.

Yeah, things that I have had to kind of shed, but, like, that what I'm doing here is just, like, saying I have something that I think would really benefit you and I have a very particular way of, like, space.

And if it's for you, like, I would love to hold the space for you, and I would love for you to, like, exchange some resource, financial resource, for that Space holding.

Yeah.

So that's, like.

That's one part of it, but the other part is then, like, being willing to, like, be excited about the thing that you're selling.

And I struggled with that in the past.

I've been like, oh, like, this is too weird.

No one's gonna get it.

Or, like, how do I talk about this from, like.

Because it's coming from such a deep place in me.

Like, the vulnerability of it all, you know, just, like, would get really in my head about all of it.

And so I'm trying to do things different this time around.

And the other thing is, like, there's just a lot of strategies for, like, how to market sell, like, you know, And I think this is probably, like, my innocence motivation, but I'm like, I'm not, like, here to convince you of anything.

Like, I.

You know, like, I don't.

But I just.

I want to play.

I just want to.

I just want to play with you.

And it's funny.

I have a projector daughter, and it's fun watching her just, like, be in her body, you know?

And we go to the playground, and she's.

She just, like, stares at the kids, and, like, I can sense that she, like, wants to get in there with them sometimes.

It's just so.

She's so sweet.

And every once in a while, she'll, like, walk up to kids, and she's, like, so, like, earnest, and.

And they'll, like, push her away, you know, and she'll keep trying.

She'll, like, keep trying.

And it's like, it's a no.

Like, these kids are saying no to her, and I have to tell her, you know, like, listen, baby girl, like, we don't, like, we don't have to play with the kids that don't want to play with us.

Like, that doesn't mean anything about ourselves.

I mean, we just, like.

We just go somewhere else, right?

Like, they don't want to play with you.

Like, that's okay.

We just go.

We just go do something different.

And so I think I'm like.

I try to bring some of that, like, innocence into, like, this process as well.

Like, right now of, like, yeah, I'm gonna, like, say, hey, you want to come play with me?

And.

And if you don't want to play with me, then, like, that's okay.

Like, I'M gonna go and, like, try to play with someone else over here.

I'm going to try to play differently in a different part of a sandbox or different part of the playground or just, like, make up new ways to play that, like, no one's ever played before, you know?

So I think that's, like, what I'm trying to do, too, is, like, there's no, like, real strategy here.

It's like, I'm just gonna maybe get on a podcast with my friend Nick and talk about it and see, like, what comes out.

And, like, maybe, you know, that resonates with some people doing it like this versus, like, oh, I.

To post every single day.

Right.

It's, like, very strategic way of, like, I gotta tell you, like, why this is, like, so amazing for you and, like, how it's gonna benefit you.

And it's like, I don't know, like, will it benefit you?

Like, maybe not.

Like, that's a risk that maybe you have to take.

Right.

Like, maybe you step into the circle and then you walk out of it and you're like, well, that was not it for me, you know?

Right.

But then they benefited from the knowledge of what was not it for them.

Exactly.

So I don't know.

It's.

It is a funny.

It's a funny thing to try to, like.

Yeah.

Share yourself with others.

Well, what I hear in.

In this, like, do you want to come play with me?

And, like, I hear you holding it so lightly and, like, really, like, I have the perception that you seem relaxed about it.

Does that feel true to you and your body and how you're like, you just seem.

When you're talking about, like, yeah, I'm playing and I'm trying this and I'm trying that.

It just feels very relaxed in terms of, like, my body was like, huh, okay.

Does that feel true to you in your body?

Yeah, I mean, it's.

Yeah.

Okay.

I think, you know, my mind is like, you should be less relaxed.

Like, you know, like, the should is like, you need to be, like, figuring this out.

Like, you need to be.

There needs to be more, like, anxiety and urgency around this.

Like, you need, like.

Yeah, but, like, my body's like, all you can do is, like, find ways to talk about it that feel fun for you and I don't know.

Yeah.

And then.

Yeah, dude.

I appreciate it.

Like, I just.

Like, even just sitting here with you digitally, I like feeling that relaxation.

Knowing that you are in what I would also refer to as a launch is like, oh, okay.

Because I might have imagined Myself being like.

Like, oh, this thing, that thing.

Okay, wait, no, because this.

Because, like, I haven't done a lunch quote unquote, in a while.

So, like, I. I know that down the line, I'm gonna have the opportunity to re.

Encounter all of my old shit that I have around launches when I do that.

And it's fun for me to witness, like, to live, watch you embody a state that feels like, motivating to me.

I'm like, okay, yes.

Relax during launch.

Yes, please.

Yeah.

I also am, like, holding this reality, which is a reality that, like, a launch that's yourself.

Like, launching as yourself does not necessarily translate to sales.

So, like, that is, you know, that's like this thing of, like.

Okay, like, I do feel relaxed, and there's a possibility that, like, no one signs up for this.

And, like, you know, like, I think my mind, there's, like, my mind wants to make meaning around that, but I'm also experiencing this as, like.

Like, it's just like an experiment, like, learning how to talk about something that you, like, love and care about as yourself.

Yeah.

And I don't have a lot of experience with that, so if anything, it's just like an experiment in that.

In the same way that I'm like, okay, come on, like, join my experiment.

And, like, maybe, you know, you'll.

You won't walk out with it.

Like, you won't walk out of the other side with what you expected to have.

It's like the same process.

It's like, I'm doing this thing.

Yeah.

And, like, I actually might walk out on the other side, like, not with the goal that I would, like, love to have.

But that doesn't mean that I haven't, like, learned something about myself or about, like, how I want to, like, move, like, what is, like, integrity look like to me.

What does, like, living as myself look like to me?

And, like, that's more important and more valuable than, like, yeah, 10 people signing up for my, like, circle.

Okay.

I love that.

That just felt like.

You literally are beautifully describing to us how you are in the practice of tending the revolt, like, in offering, like, literally.

I see this as a manifestation of your practice of tending the revolt.

It's like you are offering other folks the space to collaboratively also do that.

And I'm just like, that's.

I.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks for seeing that.

To watch and witness you in that.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Well, now I'm feeling nervous.

You just saw me.

I'd like to be seen.

I see you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I think I feel kind of done.

I don't know.

Is there anything else that you feel like is.

I know you said you had some questions as you were.

No, I also feel done.

I was going to say that was the perfect place to end, but then I got scared to say that out loud, so then I didn't say that part, but I actually did feel that.

Okay.

So thank you so much.

Where can we find all this information?

Oh, that is great.

You can go to my Instagram, which is at underscore Aarondira.

Underscore.

It's in the show notes, and there will be a pinned post there.

You can also go to.

Oh, my gosh.

I should have this stuff memorized.

I'm gonna pull it up for you right now.

Thank you.

Let's find it.

You don't have it memorized, and it's actually totally fine.

So here we are all surviving that you didn't.

E j e.my flodesk.com tendingtherevolt and maybe I'll ask Kelsey to put it in the show notes too, so it'll be down there.

Hooray.

Yay.

All right, thank you so much.

Thank you.

Okay, bye.

Bye.

Sam.