In this episode of Healing Is My Hobby, Jessica Colarco, LCSW, breaks down the difference between stress and anxiety—and why understanding both is essential for your mental health. You’ll learn how to spot the signs, discover tools for stress management, and explore why boundaries and sleep are non-negotiables for your emotional well-being.

Jessica also shares practical strategies—like journaling for clarity, building a bedtime routine, and practicing breathwork—that help you move from overwhelm to balance. Whether you’re dealing with everyday stressors or persistent anxiety, this episode will leave you with tools to support your healing and deepen your self-care practice.

Key Takeaways

• Stress is a short-term response; anxiety lingers even when stressors are gone.
• Clear boundaries protect your energy and improve mental health.
• Quality sleep is the foundation for recovery and resilience.
• Exercise and deep breathing are powerful ways to reduce stress naturally.
• Journaling organizes thoughts, reduces anxiety, and promotes emotional clarity.
• Chronic stress impacts physical health—making proactive care essential.
• A consistent bedtime routine improves sleep and emotional balance.

📖 Chapters

00:00 — Welcome & Introduction

00:06 — Why Healing is Both Story & Science

00:20 — Understanding Stress: What’s Really Happening

02:59 — Acute vs. Chronic Stress

05:48 — Tools for Stress Reduction

10:47 — Setting Boundaries for Emotional Health

14:03 — Sleep as a Mental Health Superpower

18:26 — Stress vs. Anxiety: Spotting the Difference

19:26 — Taking Control of Your Well-Being

19:59 — Embracing the Healing Journey

20:19 — Closing & Reflection

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Keywords: stress, anxiety, mental health, boundaries, sleep, stress management, journaling, self-care, emotional well-being, healing

Welcome to Healing is my hobby, the podcast where healing is allowed to be curious, cozy, and even fun. Together we'll explore stories, science, and soulful practices. Let's discover what heals you.

Hi guys, welcome to part one of our stress series. We are really gonna dive in. I'm gonna totally geek out on my expert opinion and research about stress, what we can do to help reduce stress, and we'll continue the rest of this month looking at stress from different perspectives. So people under stress experience mental and physical symptoms such as irritability, anger,

fatigue, muscle pain, digestive troubles, and difficulty sleeping. Anxiety, on the other hand, is defined by persistent excessive worries that don't go away even in the absence of a stressor. So we wanna kind of look just a little bit about what the difference is between stress and anxiety and remembering that we're just only gonna kind of focus on stress this episode. Stress is a normal response our bodies have to change.

⁓ Such changes can be outside of our control, like a layoff, an illness. Those are examples of situations that are out of our control. And the less control we have over the situation, the more intense our stress reaction is likely to be. Our bodies are designed to react to stress effectively. You may have heard of the fight or flight response, which is our body's natural response. This stress response creates physiological changes in order for the body to successfully react.

to stressful situations. So looking at it just from the definition perspective, stress is the body's natural response to a perceived challenge, threat, or demand. And we have a biological response because when we're stressed, our brain signals the release of hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. And these trigger fight, flight, or freeze response, preparing our body to react.

And we'll get later into it this month because I love hearing Fight, flight, freeze, or please. Because there is a fawning response that more research has gotten into that sometimes when we are triggered, we kind of look at kind of taking care of other people and we ignore our own needs. So we'll get into that little bit later, but I just want to like add that little tidbit. So.

The stress response has a purpose because in small doses, stress can be helpful. It sharpens our focus, it boosts energy and motivates action. But stress becomes a problem when it is constant or overwhelming because it can take a toll on our mental health, our physical health, our relationships and our overall wellbeing. I wanna kind of look into two different

kinds of stress. So I'm just focusing on main types of stress. There may be a million more, but this is what we're going to focus on today. Acute stress and chronic stress. acute stress is a short term immediate reaction to a specific situation like giving a presentation, running late, narrowly avoiding an accident. Whereas chronic stress is ongoing prolonged stress caused by situations like

financial strain, workplace pressure, caregiving, or unhealthy relationships. In short, stress is our body's alarm system. It's helpful when it's temporary, harmful when it never turns off, right? So we're really looking at chronic stress today. And problems arise when this natural, healthy stress response is activated over a prolonged period of time, which can cause physical and emotional wear and tear on our bodies due to stress hormones,

like adrenaline and cortisol coursing through our body. Anxiety may be one of the results of prolonged stress, but stress is not necessarily anxiety, nor does it automatically result in anxiety in all people. So stress and anxiety certainly share some common characteristics, which may account for why they are confused at times, but experiencing occasional anxiety is no cause for concern. Just as stress is a normal part of everyday living, so is some measure of anxiety.

We all tend to operate at peak performance under a certain amount of anxiety,

if you experience anxiety that seems unremitting, uncontrollable, and it interferes with your normal functioning, you may have anxiety disorder. Okay, so we've defined stress. You're listening to this and you're like, okay, Jessica, I'm experiencing chronic stress, what do I do?

So I have identified five tips to reduce stress. I'm gonna just tell you the five tips quickly. They're gonna kinda go through more specific examples and why I've chose these tips and how they're beneficial to you. Number one, exercise. Two, deep breathing. Three, journaling. Four, set boundaries. And five, sleep. If you know me and my clinical practice, if you listen to the Chasing Bride podcast.

you know that I'm obsessed with sleep, which really could be a cure-all for so many different mental health and physical health symptoms. But anyways, let's start

exercise.

Exercise lowers cortisol, which is the stress hormone. It boosts energy levels, improves sleep. Any form of exercise can relieve stress. When you're exercising, oxygen-rich blood surges through your body to your heart, muscles, and brain, which helps bump up the production of your brain's feel-good neurotransmitters called endorphins. Exercise boosts mood. It can counter the negative effects of stress.

including when we have digestive issues. So this is exercise in any form. Okay, so it can be walking, running, crossfit, lifting weights, Pilates, yoga, whatever the heck movement you enjoy, get out there and move your body because that is going to lower your cortisol levels and boost your serotonin levels. Deep breathing. I love deep breathing.

It boosts immune system. The up and down movement of the diaphragm during deep abdominal breathing is a critical component for returning lymphatic fluid back to the bloodstream. Our lymphatic system is a vital part of our body's immune system. And deep breathing simulates the vagus nerve, which sends a message to our bodies that it's time to relax, de-stress, which can lead to long-term improvements in mood, pain management,

well-being and resilience.

I just want to review two types of breathing. There's so many different kinds of breathing, but what I think is really simple for a lot of us is box breathing. So you think of a box, so you pick a number for some people holding their breath for the count of four is too much. So whatever that looks like for you, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth is critical. That's the breathing that I really encourage. So you're breathing in. So let's say we choose the count of three.

You're breathing in, two, three, hold, two, three, out, two, three, hold, two, three. And that's all. Pick a number, breathing in a number, holding that number, out a number, holding that number. Usually for me, doing about three rounds, or I count to four is really helpful and just kind of bringing me down a little bit, calming me little bit. And another.

type of breathing is breathing in your diaphragm, into your diaphragm. So I like to think about it like when you're breathing in, you just want your belly full of air and you're pushing your belly out and then breathing in, thinking of your belly button going all the way to your spine. And I like tip I used to give when I worked with kids was just spelling your first name. So you you breathe in, J, out.

E in S out S and just really focusing on like breathing all the way in filling your chest and belly up with air and breathing out belly button to spine so those are some simple things maybe like a quick calm down with with breathing and engaging in deep breathing now let's move on to journaling journaling helps keeps your thoughts organized allows for self-reflection boosts memory

helps us keep our focus on the present and it paves the way toward mindfulness. It improves both mental and physical health, helps us cope, helps relieve stress, boost immune cell activity, helps with goal setting as well as goal achievement. In cognitive behavioral therapy, we like the term brain dumping.

where you're just not even thinking, let's say you're having a stressful time and you're just dumping out and just free flow journaling everything that you can think of, everything that comes to mind, just dumping it out. That's a simple type of journaling. And I always say if you wanna add a new habit to an old core habit, a great thing that you can do is just put your journal on the coffee pot. If you have coffee in the morning, putting your journal by your toothbrush, putting your journal somewhere that you're gonna do a habit every day and just kind of seeing where that takes you.

You know I love the Legend Planner. I talk about it in this month's newsletter. I love the Legend Planner. It's very simple, guided journaling to think about your goals, to think about all of these different quadrants of your life. And every week I have the weekly, monthly, yearly one on the week. Just choose a couple little journaling. It can be as simple as what brings me joy this week? What's my goal for this week? It can be a two minute exercise. I give a lot of journal prompts in this podcast.

My co-host Kelly and I give a lot of journal prompts in the Chasing Brighter podcast, just as simple as asking one question, right? And writing it down, bam, you journaled. Setting boundaries.

Setting boundaries protects our energy, prevents burnout by limiting how much we give others, creates clarity because it reduces confusion and resentment by defining what is and isn't okay, improves focus, allows you to prioritize what truly matters without constant distractions, supports emotional health, reduces feelings of overwhelm, guilt, or being taken advantage of.

strengthens relationships because it fosters mutual respect and healthier dynamics, encourages self-care, makes space for rest, hobbies, personal needs. So I want to get into some examples of different types of boundaries and then a little tip to go with that boundary.

Alright guys, you might need a time to take a little break. We're gonna be diving into boundaries and you know I got a lot to say about sleep.

So for boundaries, we're gonna talk about.

Time boundaries, emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, digital boundaries, and work boundaries. So first, time boundaries. Simple tips, okay? I don't take work calls after 6 p.m. Simple as that. You can even put it in your voicemail. There was a time where

I was only working like Tuesdays and Thursdays and so my voicemail said I returned phone calls on Tuesdays and Thursdays and that's it, right? Also, you can block out one night a week for personal downtime. what I do too is I put my workouts in my calendar. So when a client is requesting a time, I have it in there. That is my workout time.

And so that's a way I can set a time boundary. Emotional boundaries. Very simple, you can limit how much personal information you share with someone who drains you. You can also say, I'm not in a place to talk about this right now. To set a boundary, people are asking you how much you're questions or what information about you. You can limit personal information just by like, okay, if we're thinking about work and work stress and someone

Can you work Friday night? I'm not available. And if they ask why, you can just say, I'm not available at that time. To give people all this information, can say, that's not something I wanna talk about right now.

Physical boundaries. Let people know you don't want hugs or physical closeness in certain settings.

Letting people know you can create a dedicated workspace at home to separate work from personal life. I had a home office that I really carved out and made beautiful, especially during COVID, but I

have my own office now. I have my own executive suite with three offices and I've created it to be such a warm, cozy place that I have taken away work from home and try really just to work physically at my office. Digital boundaries, turn off notifications after a certain time. Choose not to respond to texts or emails immediately. I think people think we're available 24-7. We are not.

People in my life know I start shutting things off at 8 p.m. I'm old grandma and go to bed early, so I just shut off my phone at a certain time, right? When I very first started my own practice, would, you know, tell people I'm not available after a certain time. I'm not a concierge therapist, so everything shuts down. I think digital boundary is a great boundary is to charge your phone in the kitchen, turn off all devices an hour before bed.

getting close to my favorite topic of sleep. Finally, for our boundary, work boundaries. Delegate tasks instead of doing everything yourself. You know, take your full lunch break without guilt. I often ask my clients, do you have a lunch break and what do you do? And if you are sitting at lunch at your desk during your lunch break, please don't do that anymore. Even if you have to go sit in your car. I used to take a walk. There was a job I had in Philadelphia where I would just walk, I'd bring my sneakers, ask my coworkers and just like take a walk during my lunch break.

So just kind of thinking about boundaries at work. Here we go. Getting close to the end of this episode, we are talking about my final strategy to help with stress and that is sleep. Because lack of sleep is detrimental to both your physical and your mental health. Sleep allows our body to repair itself and gives our brain an opportunity to process the day's information. Poor sleep quality or sleep deprivation.

is linked to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Poor sleep can also cause physical health problems. So it is so key. Dr. Matthew Walker, who heads the Berkeley Sleep Center, wrote the wonderful book, Why We Sleep. And he says that we are sleep deprived if we are consistently getting less than seven hours of sleep. So let's look at... ⁓

things that we can do to improve your sleep quality and your sleep quantity. Here we go. Begin your bedtime routine an hour before a lights out. So I think we don't just like all of a sudden turn off the TV and go to bed. I think it's critically important that we carve out what we kind of call in mental health, like your sleep hygiene, like a sleep routine that starts an hour before you wanna be totally asleep, lights out, eyes closed.

So we start cueing our body. So is it like, okay, I walk around the house, I shut off the lights, I have low lighting, then I go shower, set my clothes out for work, whatever that is, begin that routine an hour before, which does not include screens. Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and smoking. Caffeine and nicotine are stimulants and should be avoided four to six hours before bed. In the book, Why We Sleep, I know that he talks about your body processes half the caffeine immediately.

when you have it, when you ingest it, and then the other half, it depends on the person, right? So I am a person that can take a shot of espresso and fall asleep immediately, but for most people, I would say you wouldn't really wanna be having caffeine after between three and five p.m. Avoid afternoon naps. Sometimes sleeping in the middle of the day impacts your ability to fall asleep at night.

create a calm sleep environment. I have blackout curtains. We play brown noise. Interesting, we played white noise forever, but my husband read an article about how brown noise has a different frequency that's calming and helps you sleep, so now we're obsessed with brown noise. No lights in the room. Cool, cool room. Cozy sheets and good pillows. ⁓

Consistently go to bed and wake up at the same time each day. I know that can be very difficult in Vegas. We have a lot of people with shift work. We're working different days, different times. But if possible, try to go to bed at the same time each day and wake up each day. And if you do that very consistently, you will find that you will automatically just wake up way before I had children. I had no alarm clock for years and years and years. I just woke up at 7 a.m. every day. I used to work like a...

a shift, used to work 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. for years and so getting up at seven gave me ample opportunity to get ready for the day. Avoid big meals. Eating close to bed can rev up your metabolism, make it difficult to fall asleep, Exercising daily can help with sleep. Not too late, we don't want be exercising too late because exercising too closely to bedtime can stimulate your body and impact sleep, but exercising can make us physically tired.

relax late in the evening. I recommend that to my clients that they begin calming down, like I said before, an hour before bed, dim lights, avoid simulating TV shows, reading materials that are stimulating, and engage in more calming activities. I give an example all the time to my clients, I used to read kind of like detective series, and then I would be reading books, if anybody has read, Frieda McFadden's book.

The Housemaid, which is going to be a movie, if anybody's read The Housemaid, I read that in one night, because I was psycho and had to figure out what the heck was going on. So it is not good for you to read those kind of books before bed. ⁓ Shower or take a bath before bed, and that can really help calm our bodies. Just remember to give it time. It takes time to impact your sleep cycle and develop a healthier routine. And I highly recommend, for the 15th time in this episode,

⁓ begin to put your devices away at least an one hour before bedtime.

So let's wrap all this up. Stress and anxiety may feel similar, but they're not the same. Stress is our body's natural response to change, often triggered by situations outside of our control. Anxiety, however, lingers, fueled by ongoing worry, even when the immediate stressor is gone. The important thing to remember is that our stress response is built into us for survival. It's not a flaw.

It's a function. But when that response gets stuck on, it can start to impact our mind, body, and overall wellbeing. As you move through your week, I encourage you to notice, is what I'm feeling tied to a specific situation? Or does it stay with me no matter what? That simple reflection can help you recognize whether you're dealing with stress or anxiety. And that awareness is a first step in choosing the right tools to manage it.

Remember, stress and anxiety don't have to run the show. You can take small, powerful steps to reclaim your balance.

Before we close, I want you to this. You are worthy of healing, of peace, and of joy.

another step on your healing journey just by showing up and listening today. Keep exploring what supports you. Keep experimenting and keep moving forward. If something from today resonated with you, share this episode with a friend who might need it too.

Healing is your hobby.

and with practice it becomes your way of life. And if you'd like to keep the conversation going, connect with me on Instagram at Healing Is My Hobby, or go to healingismyhobby.com To sign up for our newsletter, The Healing Journey, Until next time, keep healing, keep growing, and keep showing up for you.