Hey, beautiful Bravehearts. I am so glad that you are here, midlife women, bravehearted and wise women who know a thing or two about life. Yes, that's you. You've earned it, and you are absolutely done with stressful holidays, am I right? Well, I know that I am. I want the holiday to be beautiful and memorable. I want it to. I want all of my grandchildren to be overjoyed.

But let's be honest, there was a time when Christmas felt so magical. That's when we weren't in charge of making it magical. Right, and we could just show up. But now half the time, it feels like a project plan with a side of glitter. You know, we always have to have our glitter here at the BraveHearted Woman, but we're carrying the family expectations. We're carrying a stressful load. We want it to be perfect for everybody. And so our menu consists of 47 different kinds of food so that we meet everybody's preference, and we wanna look beautiful and festive while doing it. You know it, the house has to be perfect. The meal has to be perfect, all the things, but not this year.

Today, we're gonna talk about 7 ways to destress your Christmas holiday. So I'm getting this episode in right before you are entertaining.

Now, maybe you're at the season already where it's already shifted, you know, where your children are hosting. That's not so for me yet. I'm still carrying it, and my kids are still bringing, you know, side dishes. I'm fine with that because they are in the busiest season of their life right now. But I want you to enjoy your Christmas again without losing your mind, your joy, your peace, or uh, losing your cool. That's a good thing, right? So let's jump in. I'm gonna give you seven things.

In fact, you can even repeat this after me. I give myself permission to let go of this tradition. Alright, there you go. Did you feel free? Now, ask your family before you knock yourself out and exhaust yourself. Does this mean something to you? Or maybe you ask them, out of all the traditions that we do, what's your favorite? 'cause this year we're gonna do one. And then allow yourself to release the rest. Choose your favorite tradition, ladies. You're not an intern for Santa. You don't work at the North Pole. Okay? Let yourself off the hook.

Alright, number two, let go of the perfect Christmas myth. How many of us just absolutely worked ourselves into exhaustion by trying to create the perfect Christmas? And I know that perfection is a thief. Have you figured that out, too? It steals your joy. It steals your time, it steals your sleep. It steals your sense of sanity, perfection. That is just a myth in and of itself, and I like to say, Done is better than perfect. So your house, your home, your kitchen doesn't have to look like the set on a Hallmark movie. No, it does not. Your cookies don't have to be Pinterest worthy, and I have to say thank the Lord for that because I've never made a cookie. That would even be a runner-up for Pinterest. It's just not my jam. It's not where I shine.

Let's put it that way. You don't have to wear the matching pajamas. Yeah, I've done that. I've done that for several years, where I bought not only for Paul and me, my husband and I, matching, but I did it for all my kids and my grandkids. That'd be about 20 people that I'm trying to get matching pajamas for. That's your tradition. Actually, what I've passed down, my children are now responsible for that. If y'all want matching pajamas, have fun, go ahead and get them. But you know, you can post Facebook-worthy photos without the matching pajamas. Trust me. So, choose peace over perfect. Okay. Give yourself that out. I'm choosing peace or choose. Presence over pressure. Sometimes we have ourselves so involved in trying to create the perfect Christmas that we're not present with our family when they show up. So, do yourself a favor and say, I'm choosing presents over pressure.

Okay, number three, protect your peace. Ruthlessly, this is kind of what we're already talking about, but midlife is a season of selective energy. We don't run like we used to. And midlife, you're still probably running pretty hard, but let's say just beyond midlife. Let's say we're, maybe we're in our fifties, maybe you're even in your sixties, listening to this podcast, and we've learned that we cannot say yes to everything, we're there, right? I know I'm there. I still enjoy making a wonderful event, but I'm starting to say yes to the priority, saying yes to what matters, saying yes to what is most valuable to my family, because one of my core values, I love hosting. I do love entertaining. I get juiced doing this, and if I didn't, I would have pawned off by now. So I do love it, and my bucket is full to overflowing when I get to entertain my children and see the joy that they're having. But I also have chosen the right to say, yes, I'm gonna do that. And no, I'm not gonna do that.

Now maybe you are saying No, I can't host this year. This has been a really stressful year, or I've had some health challenges this year, and I don't have the same energy, but I'll be back at it next year. But this year, why don't we do it at someone else's home? So, we can say no to Christmas parties with people that we barely know. We don't have to go to every single holiday gathering. And no, I cannot make 14 dozen cookies for the cookie exchange at church with the choir. Now, listen, I've said no to that for a long time. It's very freeing. But as a result, I've said yes to some other things, and this year I am giving myself permission to draw boundaries without apology. I love to entertain. The more the merrier. Truly, it's not hard work for me, but there are some things that do push me over the edge, and I'm starting to say no to those. So peace starts on earth. Yes, peace on our earth, goodwill to men, and that starts in your calendar and in your heart. If you're not feeling it, let it go.

If you love serving, by all means, do it. Do it for everyone and have an amazing time. But if you're gonna do it. No martyrs. Oh, I'm doing everything myself, and no one's helping. No, no martyr syndrome, and no complaining on the day you signed up for this. So, do it with joy and make sure that what you're doing is still a joy for everyone else, too. Don't hold them hostage. Make sure everyone is enjoying the holiday season.

Number four, simplify. Did we use to say kiss? Keep it simple, sister, simplify the season. Let me give you three steps for practicality here. Prioritize, delegate, and eliminate. That's what we're talking about today anyway, isn't it? What matters most? Do that first, know what your priorities are. If you're serving dinner, then your menu is your priority, okay? But listen, what can you hand off? What doesn't have to be you, what should be done? Maybe the desserts. They don't have to be you unless it's your specialty.

For me, I can hand that off, not a problem. Or what doesn't matter at all. We don't need to make the rice crispy Santa lookalike desserts. I can let that go this year. Yeah, there might be a few disappointed people, but at the end of the day, they're not gonna remember. So, listen, prioritize, delegate, and eliminate. And if it doesn't matter in January, then it doesn't matter in December. Don't let it boss you around. Don't let expectations be your bully. Release yourself and let others ask others to release you. So simplify meals. Simplify gift giving. I'm a big gift giver, and I wrap every single present. This year we're gonna scale back. I'm gonna try with all my heart to simplify, and I think my soul will thank me, and your soul will. Thank you.

Number five. Ready for this one. Manage family dynamics. Like a grown woman. We have grown. We are mature. We do not get into drama. Do not let anyone suck you into drama. Don't let one child pit you against another or one in-law. Who doesn't like this in-law? This is where Christmas gets really messy, and it can get messy fast. It's people, adult kids, blended families, and in-laws’ expectations. So you are not the emotional cruise director on a family cruise ship. You're not responsible for everybody's happiness. That's post-worthy. That's a tweet. You're not responsible for everyone's Christmas happiness. You don't have to fix everyone, but you do need to guard your own heart and maybe say it once or say it often. I'm not responsible for your joy. Make a choice. We used to say that a lot in my family, and we still do with our children when they were growing up, and they wanted to get sucked into somebody's drama, or they wanted to be in a bad mood and have an attitude. We would simply say to them, Make a choice. You can sit in the corner and be miserable, or you can choose to enter and have fun and enjoy. It's all up to you right up here, so any fantasy version of your family gathering that you have in your heart or your mind, it's not gonna help you.

When it's not happening, just like you saw it, accept the real version of what you have and guard your heart and remind yourself, I'm gonna make a choice all week long, or weekend long, or Christmas Eve, or whatever Christmas morning. I release the pressure to make everybody happy, not my job. Not my responsibility, even though I try to take it at times. I remember to let go. So Christmas, show up. Bring Christmas joy. Yes. And your boundaries with you. Let people do what they're gonna do and be responsible for their own actions.

All right, number six, and we just talked about it actually, but I'm gonna emphasize it again, choose joy. You don't have to chase it. So joy doesn't show up. When you magically light up the Christmas tree. Joy is a commodity. That's like a muscle. The more you practice it, the stronger you get at it. And it is this shift. It is the mental mindset shift. I will choose joy. The joy of the Lord is our strength, not the joy of perfect plans. That's not my strength. The joy of other people behaving well, not my strength. The joy of my Turkey coming out perfect, not my strength. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I get to choose joy. I get to choose it in the moment. I get to choose it in the next moment, and I'm gonna cultivate it by being grateful. And thankful, and maybe by prayer, maybe I slip into the pantry and stand there with the pies and the corn starch and everything else. Getting ready for dinner and just saying, I choose joy.

I choose joy. I am responsible for me and my attitude. I can slow down, I can breathe, and I can notice the small miracles all around me this holiday season. I choose joy, how about you?

Number seven, we're gonna come full circle back to our traditions. Some of your traditions you're letting go of, but it's okay to create new ones that fit who you are now. Traditions are powerful. I'll give you that. They do help, I think, up the ante a little bit in making your Christmas holiday really meaningful and memorable. But I'm not the mom of little kids anymore. You're probably not the mom of little kids anymore. I'm not the woman I was 10 years ago, and no, are you, neither are you. I've evolved, and my Christmas has to evolve with me. So ask yourself, what would delight your heart this year? What would delight the heart of your company? What feels peaceful or meaningful? What feels life-giving?

There's a lot going on in our world today. What could be really important to help us focus for a few minutes on what is really most important? I was talking to someone the other day, and they were squabbling over something. The person I was talking to wasn't squabbling, but some of their family was, and bickering over some things. And I said, you know, as a pastor I've stood by the bedside of many dying people taking their last breath on this side of eternity.

And one thing that I've noticed is that, Wow, they're there. Never once has anybody said to me, Can you please bring me. My baseball bat, can you bring me the basketball? Can you bring me the volleyball? All these little league sports that these kids are going to. I said, You know what they say? Is my family here? They didn't say, Bring me my wallet. Bring me my checkbook. I said, Is my son here? Did my daughter make it? Are my grandkids here? Family is the most important thing. So while you're chasing and bringing this kid to that game and that practice and you're all over the place and you're breaking up Sundays and Saturdays and holidays and meaningful moments, driving kids here and there, it's okay to say this Christmas holiday we're saying no to all the extra things and we're saying yes to the family. We're gonna do some new traditions that are meaningful to us right now, where we are.

I'm a grandma. I'm a great grandma. Yeah, I have three great-grandchildren now, and so I'm making a new Christmas tradition every other year. Paul and I we're by ourselves, so we don't sit and forlorn the fact that bemoan the fact that we're by ourselves. We've made a couple of new traditions that, quite frankly. We love and we look forward to it, and we look forward to it next year, doing the big family gathering. So maybe you say, you know what? I'm gonna do a girl's brunch, or I have a new ritual, a new experience, a new rhythm, a new menu. Be selective. Be creative. Christmas should grow with you, not guilt you.

So that is. The seven ways to de-stress your Christmas friends, Bravehearts, you deserve a beautiful holiday. A holiday that blesses you, not burns you out. So give yourself the gift of peace this year. The gift of presents, the gift of simplicity, the gift of joy, and the freedom to create an experience that feels like grace and not grit, and not hard. I hope these ideas empower you and make you feel like, yeah, I can breathe through the holidays. I can have fun. I can experience Christmas, not just manage it.

So thanks for tuning in today. And you know what? It's not too early. I wanna tell you that my free gift opportunity for you right now is that. You need to start thinking, I don't. You don't need to, but I really encourage you. I need to, for my balance and my wellbeing, every year I feel like the Lord gives me a special word just for the year. It's like an anchor. It's like a north star. And every year, I am so encouraged and blessed by the word of the year. You might say, How do you do that, Dawn? How do you find your word for the year? How do you know it's your word? I have a whole little ebook and a workbook on how to find your word for the year more accurately. Your word finds you. How does that happen? Well, go ahead and log in to the braveheartedwoman.com and click the link in the notes, and you're gonna find the free ebook just for you. Find your one word for the year. Until next time, Dawn Damon, your Braveheart mentor, says, stay grounded, stay full of joy, and stay brave. It's time for you to find that brave and live your vision!