Let's face it: You're still clinging to the old story. The old version of yourself. The expectations of who you should be. The fear that if you let go, you'll lose everything. But here's the thing—freedom lives on the other side of release, and you're the only one holding yourself back.

Michelle just got back from the Powerhouse Women event, and she's breaking down what happens when you stop performing, stop apologizing, and start choosing yourself. This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about releasing the grip on everything that no longer serves you—the people, the stories, the versions of yourself you've outgrown.

This episode exposes why clinging keeps you caged, how to spot energy that's draining you (and actually step away), and what it means to turn fear into excitement for your next chapter. Michelle gives you permission to be messy, bold, and fully yourself—because sometimes the most badass thing you can do is let yourself be soft.

You're not broken. You're just holding on too tight. This is your reckoning. Yet.

IS THIS EPISODE FOR YOU?

Listen if you're: ✓ Stuck in old stories about who you should be and what your life should look like ✓ Clinging to relationships, identities, or versions of yourself you've clearly outgrown ✓ Afraid that letting go means losing everything (control, stability, identity) ✓ Able to spot when energy doesn't serve you but not sure how to actually step away ✓ Ready for your next chapter but terrified of what that actually means ✓ Tired of performing and apologizing for taking up space ✓ In midlife wondering if there's more—and knowing deep down there is ✓ Needing permission to be messy, soft, and unapologetically yourself

This is for you if you're done clinging and ready to see what freedom feels like.

WHAT GETS EXPOSED

The clinging vs. release paradigm that keeps you stuck: You think holding on tight keeps you safe—but it's actually keeping you caged in a life that no longer fits

Why old stories and expectations are blocking your growth: You're living someone else's blueprint for your life (parents, society, younger-you's dreams) and wondering why it feels suffocating

How to observe energy instead of absorbing it: The difference between noticing "this doesn't serve me" and actually having the courage to step away from people, situations, and versions of yourself

The fear-to-excitement transformation: What if the fear about your next chapter is actually excitement in disguise—and your body is trying to show you you're ready

Permission to be audacious, messy, and soft all at once: You don't have to choose between strong and soft, bold and vulnerable, put-together and messy—you get to be the full complexity

BURKE BOMBS

💣 "Freedom lives on the other side of release. Stop clinging to the old story, the old version of yourself, the expectations. You're the only one holding yourself back."

💣 "You can spot energy that doesn't serve you. The real question is: do you have the courage to step away from it?"

💣 "Sometimes the most badass thing you can do is let yourself be soft."

QUESTIONS ANSWERED IN THIS EPISODE

How do I let go of old stories and expectations that are keeping me stuck? First, recognize that you're living someone else's blueprint—parents, society, the version of you from 10 years ago who had different dreams. Old stories feel like safety because they're familiar, but they're caging you. Michelle's lesson from Powerhouse Women: clinging keeps you stuck, release sets you free. Start by naming what you're clinging to. Then ask: is this actually mine? Does this serve who I'm becoming? Give yourself permission to release it—not violently, but intentionally. Let it go with softness. Jump to: [01:30] for lessons on clinging vs. release

What does it mean to "observe energy" instead of absorbing it? You already know when something doesn't serve you. You feel it in your gut, in your body's tension, in the way you brace yourself before certain conversations or situations. Observing energy means noticing without taking it on. The hard part isn't awareness—it's having the courage to step away once you see it. Michelle calls this out: you can spot the draining relationships, the environments that shrink you, the versions of yourself that don't fit anymore. The question is whether you'll choose yourself by actually leaving. Jump to: [05:00] for observing energy and knowing when to step away

How do I turn fear into excitement about my next chapter? What if the fear you feel about your next chapter is actually excitement? Your body doesn't always know the difference—both create activation, nervousness, that "something big is coming" feeling. Michelle learned at Powerhouse Women that midlife transformation isn't about having it figured out. It's about recognizing when you've outgrown the current chapter and trusting your gut enough to turn the page. The fear means you're on the edge of something. Excitement is just fear with permission. Jump to: [06:30] for freedom on the other side of release

What does "choosing yourself" actually look like in practice? Choosing yourself means: saying no without explanation, pivoting when something doesn't feel right, taking up space unapologetically, being messy and not performing perfection, trusting your gut over everyone else's opinions, releasing people and situations that drain you, being soft when the world expects you to be hard. It's audacious. It's uncomfortable. And it's the only way to step into your next chapter as your full, complex self—not the edited version everyone else is comfortable with. Jump to: [08:00] for the permission slip to claim your next chapter

CONVERSATION BREAKDOWN WITH TIMESTAMPS

[00:00] - Riverside studio disaster: Michelle's metaphor for letting go when everything falls apart

[01:30] - Powerhouse Women lessons: Clinging vs. release—what Michelle learned about holding on vs. letting go

[03:15] - Old stories blocking growth: How expectations and outdated blueprints keep you caged

[05:00] - Observing energy: Spotting what doesn't serve you and having the courage to step away

[06:30] - Freedom through release: Why freedom lives on the other side of what you're clinging to

[08:00] - Permission slip activated: Audacious ways to claim your next chapter—messy, soft, unapologetic

[09:45] - Choosing yourself: Pivoting, trusting your gut, embracing your full complexity

[10:45] - Final reminder: Let something go this week—just one thing

ABOUT MICHELLE BURKE

Michelle Burke is the bestselling author of Hot Mess Magic, keynote speaker, and host of Hot Mess Magic podcast.

She doesn't do curated advice or toxic positivity. She tells the truth that gut-punches you awake.

Hot Mess Magic was born from the fire—the breakdowns, the unraveling, the full-blown identity crises. The kind that crack you open and refuse to let you go back to who you were.

This isn't self-help. It's self-trust.

Connect with Michelle:

📧 Newsletter: https://michelleaburke.substack.com/

📱 Instagram: @michelleaburke

🌐 Instagram: @hotmessmagicmedia

📖 Book: Hot Mess Magic

Work with Michelle:

💬 Expansion Sessions (one-on-one guidance for trusting yourself again. Only 20 spots available till Jan. 31, 2026)

🎤 Speaking

📝 The Permission Slip: Sign up for weekly real talk

KEY REALIZATIONS FROM THIS EPISODE

On clinging vs. release: "Freedom lives on the other side of release. Stop clinging to the old story, the old version of yourself, the expectations. You're the only one holding yourself back." - Michelle

On observing energy: "You can spot energy that doesn't serve you. You know when something's draining you. The real question is: do you have the courage to step away from it?" - Michelle

On midlife transformation: "Your next chapter isn't about having it figured out. It's about recognizing when you've outgrown the current one and trusting your gut enough to turn the page." - Michelle

On being soft and strong: "Sometimes the most badass thing you can do is let yourself be soft. You don't have to choose between strong and vulnerable. You get to be the full complexity." - Michelle

On choosing yourself: "Choosing yourself means saying no without explanation, pivoting when something doesn't feel right, and taking up space unapologetically—even when it's messy." - Michelle

THE UNCOMFORTABLE TRUTH NOBODY'S SAYING

You're the one holding yourself back. Not them. You.

The old story. The old version of yourself. The expectations of who you should be. You're clinging to all of it because letting go feels like losing control. But here's what you're actually losing: your life. Your next chapter. Your freedom. Release isn't about violence—it's about softness. Intentionally opening your hands and letting go.

You already know what doesn't serve you. You just won't step away.

You can spot the draining energy. The relationships that shrink you. The situations where you perform instead of exist. The versions of yourself that don't fit anymore. You observe it all—and then you stay anyway. Not because you're weak. Because stepping away requires choosing yourself, and you've been taught that's selfish. It's not. It's survival.

Fear and excitement feel the same in your body. You get to decide which one it is.

That activation in your chest about your next chapter? That nervous "something big is coming" feeling? Your body doesn't know if it's fear or excitement—they create the same response. You get to name it. You get to decide: is this fear keeping me small, or excitement trying to expand me? Midlife transformation isn't about certainty. It's about trust.

Being soft is the most badass thing you can do.

You've been performing strength for decades. Holding it together. Being the rock. Never showing weakness. And it's exhausting. What if the next chapter requires you to be soft? Messy? Unapologetically human? You don't have to choose between strong and vulnerable, bold and tender. You get to be the full complexity—and that's where your power actually lives.

You don't need permission. But here it is anyway.

Stop apologizing. Stop shrinking. Stop editing yourself into a version everyone else is comfortable with. Choose yourself. Pivot when something doesn't feel right. Say no without explanation. Be audacious. Be messy. Take up space. Trust your gut over everyone's opinions. This is your life. Your next chapter. Your freedom.

You're not broken. You're just holding on too tight. This is your reckoning. Yet.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Powerhouse Women Event - Where Michelle learned the lessons on clinging vs. release that inspired this episode

The Permission Slip Newsletter - Michelle's weekly real talk for women stepping into their next chapter (sign up link in show notes)

Observing Energy Practice - Noticing what drains you vs. what expands you, then having the courage to step away

Clinging vs. Release Framework - Understanding what you're holding onto and why letting go creates freedom

LISTEN & SUBSCRIBE

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If this episode cracked something open—if you're finally ready to stop clinging and see what freedom feels like—subscribe so you never miss an episode.

And if you're choosing yourself this week, letting go of just one thing? Leave a review. Tell us what this conversation exposed for you.

Your mess is your medicine. Your breakdown is your breakthrough.

Welcome to Hot Mess Magic.

TAGS

#MidlifeTransformation #PersonalGrowth #LettingGo #FreedomAfterFear #MessyLiberation #StepIntoNextChapter #NervousSystem #ChooseYourself #HotMessMagic #MichelleBurke #ClingingVsRelease #GenXWomen #XennialWomen #HumanLiberation #TrustYourGut #UnapologeticWomen #DoItMessy #SacredMess #PowerhouseWomen #SelfTrust

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Note: This solo episode is shorter format (approximately 11 minutes) and designed as Michelle's permission slip moment for listeners—real talk, unfiltered, direct transmission of what she learned at Powerhouse Women about release and freedom.