Envy. It’s one of the most overlooked yet spiritually dangerous emotions we can entertain. In today’s deeply personal episode, I’m sharing a story that’s stayed with me for decades—a warning from my mother, Carmen, just months before she passed, about the destructive power of envy.

We’ll explore:

✝️ What Scripture says about envy and how it leads to spiritual decay

✝️ How envy is rooted in ingratitude and comparison

✝️ Why envy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a foothold for the enemy

✝️ The antidote to envy (and the spiritual shift that brings freedom)

✝️ How to turn jealousy into joy and comparison into confidence

We’re going to dive deep—into what it means to honor your own calling, to encourage others without fear, and to stop chasing crowns that were never meant for you.

This episode is for the woman who’s been on both sides of envy—the one who’s felt it... and the one who’s been wounded by it.

🦋 Featuring:

• Personal testimony

• Scripture-based teaching (Romans 1:21, James 3:14–16, Galatians 5:19–21)

• A powerful reflection prayer

• Questions to help you confront envy with grace and truth

✝️ Let’s expose this emotion for what it truly is—a tool of the enemy—and replace it with gratitude, confidence, and Christ-centered purpose.

If today’s message spoke to you, please share it with a friend and follow Born to be a Butterfly so you never miss an episode. 

📖 Ready to dive deeper into healing and transformation? Get my book, From Broken to Butterfly, on Amazon today! 

📩 If you have any questions or want to connect, send me a DM on Instagram at Born To Be A Butterfly or email me at ninapajonas@gmail.com. I love hearing from you! 

Remember, the Lord can turn your wounds into wings—you were Born to be a Butterfly! 🦋

Born to be a Butterfly © 2025 Nina Pajonas All rights reserved. The content of this podcast is for informational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice. For the full disclaimer, visit ⁠ninapajonas.com.

Nina Pajonas: My mother, Carmen,

always warned me about the dangers of envy.

However, I'll never forget when she brought it up for the last time because we had the conversation only a few months before she passed.

I was sitting at the kitchen counter in her mobile home while she prepared dinner and I was talking about a girl that I worked with.

I told my mother that the girl was skinny and that I wished that I was skinny.

Immediately,

my mother, Carmen, stopped what she was doing and said,

envy is the worst emotion you can have.

Always remember that.

Please don't ever envy other people.

I sat there confused and a little bit annoyed,

like any teenager would be. I suppose.

I didn't understand why my mother was discussing this with me yet again.

So I said,

mommy, why do you keep bringing this up?

You've told me this before.

I'll never forget the look on my mother's face because it was so serious.

She replied,

I keep saying it because envy is sinful and it leads to a lot of other sinful behaviors.

As life would have it,

our conversation got interrupted shortly afterwards,

so unfortunately she never got to elaborate further.

However,

over the years I have reflected on that conversation and I have come to understand why my mother was so emphatic about the subject.

Like my mother,

I'm extremely passionate about addressing this particular emotion because it's a brand of evil that is so prevalent and pervasive in today's society.

But before I dive in,

I want to clarify that I don't claim to be a mental health professional or a scholar of any kind.

What I am is a Christian woman who has felt this emotion and who has also been on the receiving end of it.

Neither experience has been positive because spiritual poison is never pleasant.

Welcome to Born to be a Butterfly where we embrace healing and growth to experience true transformation.

My name is Nina Pajones and I pray that your heart is ready to receive this very important message and that it ministers to you.

Envy usually begins with something we want but do not have.

However,

it could then easily transform into disliking someone because they possess something that we don't have.

The definition of envy, according to Oxford Languages, is the desire to have equality,

possession or other desirable attribute belonging to someone else.

Make no mistake,

it will lead to misery for you and those around you.

It's imperative that we understand that it could ruin even the most well intentioned Christian.

It is a slippery, sinful slope that could lead us down a trail of treachery and deceit.

We cannot afford to fool ourselves.

Envy is of the enemy.

We must understand that envy doesn't just emerge out of nowhere.

It begins with a lack of gratitude.

However, if we cultivate an attitude of gratitude,

there's a good chance that we can keep this hateful and harmful emotion out of our hearts.

I'll refer to Romans 1:21 NIV.

For although they knew God,

they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to Him.

But their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.

When we fail to appreciate all that God has done for us and has given to us,

it's as if we're saying that it isn't good enough and that he,

the Lord our God,

hasn't been good enough to us,

which is obviously very foolish.

But Paul also says that it darkens the heart.

And when he says that, I believe he is speaking of hate entering the heart,

which is what causes spiritual death.

Here's a question I think everyone should ask themselves.

Why would or should God give us anything more than what we already have if we don't express thanks for what we currently have in our hands?

And here's the thing.

When we look at our hands as if they are empty or like we should have more in them,

that puts us in a mindset to where we start looking around to see where we can get it for ourselves.

We lack joy when we lack gratitude.

We don't have peace or contentment.

And inevitably that leads to bitterness,

resentment, and eventually envy.

The second stage of envy is. Is comparison,

which in and of itself seems harmless enough,

right?

Why would that be such a bad thing?

But hear me when I say this.

We can justify almost anything if we set our minds to it.

But we must also understand that justification can cost us our salvation.

Sometimes we look at something that somebody has and we think,

oh,

that looks nice.

I'd like that in my life.

It could be a talent someone has,

or it could be something tangible that they have.

Either way,

you have no idea what came with that.

You have no idea what that person went through to get it,

and neither do I.

Sometimes we look at these things and they look like pretty little prizes that somebody just opened up from a package,

as if they bought it from a store.

But what if they bought it with their souls or their hearts?

Or with a great deal of pain?

We act as if they just got handed these gifts,

as if they're not fruits of the spirit,

which are only born after you've been pruned immensely by God.

That's what needs to happen if you're going to bear good fruit, that is, of Him.

But even if they were extremely lucky and happened to step into a great deal of fortune or fame.

Why would or should our first response be why not me?

Hear me when I say this, Sister.

If you find yourself feeling envious,

you must bring that to the Lord.

You need to ask him to remove that negative emotion from your heart and your soul.

If you don't,

it will fester in your soul and erode your faith.

To further highlight just how emotionally and spiritually dangerous this is,

do not boast about it or deny the truth.

Such wisdom does not come down from heaven,

but is earthly,

unspiritual,

demonic.

For where you have envy and selfish ambition,

there you find disorder and every evil practice.

There is so much to discuss here, so I'm going to break it down.

James begins by stating that envy is born from from bitterness,

or that bitterness is born from envy.

You can take your pick.

It really doesn't matter.

We don't want either emotion emanating from our hearts and souls.

He also mentions selfish ambition,

which means that it serves ourselves and no one else.

That's ambition whose sole purpose is to advance our own agenda instead of the kingdoms.

James goes on to say that such quote unquote wisdom is not only unspiritual,

it's demonic.

He says that the heart that holds both envy and selfish ambition will be in disorder and will perform every evil practice.

He didn't say one evil evil practice.

He said such a person would be capable of every single evil practice.

It's extremely unfortunate that some people believe that getting into heaven is a guarantee.

They think as long as they call Jesus their Savior,

that they are home free.

But that is not the case for any of us.

Outward works or religious language don't guarantee salvation.

Intimacy with Jesus and obedience to God's will are essential for eternal life.

Fortunately for us,

the Apostle Paul provided a list of the atrocious attributes that prevent us from inheriting the kingdom of God.

Knowledge is power, ladies,

so we must all listen up.

The Acts of the flesh are obvious.

Sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery,

idolatry and witchcraft,

hatred,

discord,

jealousy, fits of rage,

selfish ambition,

dissensions,

factions and envy,

drunkenness, orgies and the like.

I warn you,

as I did before,

that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of of God.

Paul is saying that persistent,

unrepentant sin,

especially Sin of the heart, like envy and rage,

separates us from God.

Grace empowers us to overcome sin.

Grace is not an excuse to stay in it.

So you might be thinking,

what's the antidote to envy?

Well,

I'll tell you.

Gratitude for what God has done in your life and for who he has created you to be.

If you are unsure of your gifts or your calling,

go to the Lord and ask him to reveal that to you.

Each of us has a unique spiritual path set before us,

and each of us receive different gifts to utilize in fulfilling the plan and the purpose that God has for our lives.

Our journeys with Jesus were envisioned before the foundation of the world.

So if you want to truly understand what your place and your purpose is,

you must follow him faithfully to find out whether you realize it or not.

If you're jealous of one of your sisters,

more than likely that's what you're jealous of.

If she exudes confidence, it's from Christ.

If she displays serenity and maturity,

it's because she has received it from our Savior.

And any spiritual gift that she has or will ever have comes from God.

If you admire the peace,

confidence,

or grace in your sister,

don't covet it.

Simply seek out the Lord more so you can learn similar lessons.

The same spirit that is at work in her can is at work within you, too.

Focus on your faith and watch how you flourish.

Do you know which emotion is the opposite of envy?

Encouragement.

We need to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ as they seek our Savior's will for their lives.

We must lift one another up and encourage each other in our respective gifts and journeys.

Yet the truth is that we can only encourage others if we don't fear their gifts or successes,

and when we don't consider them a danger to our spiritual attributes and achievements.

Let us not fool ourselves.

Fear is the underlying emotion that brings forth jealousy and hostility.

If we fear losing something or losing to someone,

it will create a toxic spiritual environment within ourselves.

However,

if we are secure within ourselves,

we can encourage others.

We cannot give what we do not have.

So if we don't possess confidence or hope in our journeys with the Lord and the plans and the purpose that he has for our lives,

we can't offer it to someone else or inspire others with it.

So what does that tell us?

It tells us that we can't or won't foster good feelings in others if we don't feel it within ourselves first,

without a doubt we will not do so sincerely or consistently.

However,

if we are secure in ourselves we can share that with others.

We can compliment them on their strengths instead of highlighting their weaknesses.

We can speak life into their dreams and goals,

supporting them on their journey.

We can be their cheerleader instead of their contender.

God calls us into community,

not competition.

Our light doesn't shine brighter if someone else is standing in our shadow.

In fact, the light of Jesus shines so much brighter when all of his children are illuminated simultaneously and collectively.

That is the light of Jesus at its fullest and most effective because that's when we radiate the light that illuminates the path that leads others to our Lord and Savior.

And now I'd like to ask you a few questions.

In what ways have you viewed someone else's calling or blessing as a threat to your own?

Number two what would it look like to genuinely celebrate other people's wins,

knowing that God has a unique purpose and timeline for you?

How can you redirect feelings of jealousy into prayers for contentment,

healing and clarity in your walk with Christ?

Let's pray.

Heavenly Father,

we come to you with open hearts.

We confess the moments when envy crept in when we looked at someone else's life and forgot about the beauty in our own.

Forgive us for the times we doubted your plan,

questioned your timing, or believed the lie that you had forgotten about us.

We trust that what you have for us is for us.

Please teach us how to sincerely celebrate others,

heal any wounds that feed comparison,

and fill us with your perfect love that casts out all fear,

including the fear of being unseen,

unchosen or left behind.

In the mighty name of Jesus,

we pray.

Amen.

If today's message spoke to you,

please share it with a friend and follow Born to Be a Butterfly so you never miss an episode.

If you're ready to dive deeper into my story of healing and transformation,

get my book From Broken to Butterfly on Amazon today.

If you have any questions or want to connect,

Please send me a DM on Instagram at @Born to be a Butterfly, or you can email me at ninapajonas@gmail.com. Until next time,

Remember,

the Lord can turn your wounds in two wings.

You were born to be a butterfly.