Let's chat about discernment and vocation! How to recognize God's voice vs. your own, how do we discern vocation, how do we know if he's the one, and so much more. If you’ve been feeling unsure or overwhelmed in discernment, this episode is for you.

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00:00 Welcome to Ever Be

00:48 Franciscan Panel Recap

02:02 Ever Be Moment

03:00 Discernment Basics

04:04 Prayer Plus Action

06:26 Peace and Big Feelings

10:47 God Voice vs Enemy

15:16 Aligning Your Will

17:38 Dating Without Pressure

21:19 Trey and I Discerned

24:59 Run Toward Jesus

28:22 Knowing He Was The One

31:33 Fear of Wrong Vocation

34:37 Ever Be Answers

35:31 Confirmation Saint Story

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Crunchi - crunchi.com/mariwagner

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Hey, I am your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to The Ever Be

2

Podcast where Faith Meets Lifestyle.

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I'm so excited you're here.

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Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

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Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful, real life conversations and

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actionable steps on how to claim the.

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Full life God created you for.

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If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

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modern world, then this is for you.

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Welcome to ever be.

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mw_2_04-22-2026_073716: Welcome

back to The Ever Be podcast.

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Happy Wednesday everybody.

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It's your host, me Mari Wagner.

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And today I am gonna chat about.

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Discernment vocation.

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I just came back from a speaking

engagement at Franciscan University

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where I spoke on a panel amongst

other incredible speakers, and we

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dove into that whole conversation.

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What is discernment?

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How do we hear God's voice?

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How do we differentiate it between

our voice, God's voice, the evil ones?

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How do we know his God's

motives versus what's.

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Just our motives and not God's will.

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And then vocation, like

how do we discern vocation?

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How did we know that

our spouse was the one?

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How did we know we were called to

marriage versus religious life?

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Um, fearing picking the wrong vocation.

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All the things and a lot of questions

that I know I had, especially in

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college, um, and before I got married,

and that I know just so many people

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have as they're trying to discern

what God's will is in their life.

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And if you're discerning

your vocation, that's like.

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The biggest thing to discern.

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So I know that it's kind of just a

lot of looming questions around that.

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Um, so I'm just kind of gonna give a

recap of what we talked about, what

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we dove into, and hopefully it serves

as some encouragement for you guys.

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But first let's dive

into our ever be moments.

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So for me, going to Franciscan was really

beautiful to be able to see their campus

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and hear about how they build up their

students to really engage with their faith

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and be a part of different ministries.

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And it seems like.

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Praise and worship is a

really big thing for them.

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And we went to Mass yesterday,

daily Mass, and the choir at Daily

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Mass was just absolutely stunning.

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And they had such beautiful song,

um, a mix of traditional and

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more contemporary worship and.

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It just like guided my prayer so well

throughout the mass and helped me

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to stay really present and reverent

throughout the mass and really just

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lifted my heart to the heavens.

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So if you are a student at

Franciscan, thank you for

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everything you guys do there.

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That was such a beautiful experience

and such a beautiful mass.

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Um, yeah, that's my ever be moment.

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All right.

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Well, let's just jump right into it.

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What is discernment and

why does that even matter?

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I think that's a really great

place to start, just to set the

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foundation for the conversation today.

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Discernment is simply trying to.

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What the will of God is in your life.

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And it matters because the

decisions we make every single day

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throughout our life shape our life.

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Our decisions literally shape our life.

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So where you go to college, what degree

you get, who you surround yourself

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with, who you choose as a spouse.

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Um.

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Where you choose to live, who's your

community, what job you have, all of these

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things, and even smaller decisions along

the way, they all shape us, who we are,

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how our life begins to unfold over time.

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So to live out the will of

God, we need to know what the

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will of God is and discernment.

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Helps us come to recognize what

the voice of God is like in our

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own lives, how to listen to it and

taking those steps to follow it.

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And how do you discern something?

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It's a mix of prayer

and action in the end.

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To hear the voice of God, we need

to know what God's voice sounds

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like, and think of it as a friend.

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How do you come to know what

your friend sounds like, what

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their mannerisms are like?

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What are the kind of things

that they say or don't say?

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You spend time with them, right?

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And so through prayer we build that

relationship with God and we we

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become more aware and more familiar.

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Of what God sounds like and it becomes

a little bit easier to identify like,

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hmm, that's not something God would say.

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Or like, oh yeah.

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Like I can feel that I've

recognized that before.

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That's definitely God speaking

and moving in my heart.

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So through prayer we become more confident

in what God sounds like in our lives.

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And that might be different

for every single person.

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God speaks to us uniquely.

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Um, and then you mix that with action.

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I think that's kind of a

misconception sometime that you

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can't do anything until you finally.

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Get the revelation in prayer or the right

answer in prayer, and the Lord might

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sometimes give you that clear cut path

that he wants you to take in prayer, but

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sometimes it takes some action as well,

like taking the steps in one direction

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as you're being prayerful about it to

see how things begin to unfold or how it.

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Feels, or if the Lord keeps opening doors

or if maybe it just doesn't feel right,

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if the Lord is not opening any doors,

if you keep running into roadblocks, um,

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maybe that's a clear sign that that's

not the way God wants you to go in.

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So some examples of this, if you were

discerning what college to go to, some

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action steps to take are researching

the college, going to visit the campus,

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speaking with past students or current

students about their experience, right?

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Those are all active things you can

do to kind of understand what that

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experience is gonna be like more.

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And then take all those to prayer

and those will begin to inform

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your prayer even more than before.

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Um, if you're.

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Wanting to get married and

discerning marriage dating is an

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active way to discern that, right?

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Saying yes to dates, getting to know

different people, um, in freedom

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without having to discern whether or

not you wanna be boyfriend, girlfriend

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from the very beginning, right?

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It's okay to go on multiple

dates with different people.

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That's a discernment process to know

who should I choose to be my boyfriend,

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who should I choose to be my girlfriend?

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And then from there, that relationship

is discernment in itself for

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engagement and for marriage.

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Now some misconceptions I think that

surround, um, the idea of discernment.

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I think the biggest one is that

comes to mind for me is that.

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The feeling of peace is the only thing

you'll feel when you quote unquote,

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like find the right decision or like

know what God's calling you to do.

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Because yes, peace is a great indication

that you are on the right path for

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sure, and it will be present when you

come to know the Lord's will, but.

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At the same time, feelings like a

holy fear or a fear of something.

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Just being like really

big can coexist too.

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And I think there's a difference

between like genuine fear and anxiety

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versus like an overwhelmed feeling.

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Like it's just a big thing that the

Lord is asking you to do because it's

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normal to feel a little bit of fear

when stepping into something big.

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That's why a lot of people say like, oh.

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You never feel like you're

fully ready to get married.

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You never feel like you're

fully ready to have kids.

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And although some people may totally

feel that, like I was someone

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who was super confident when I

was getting married young, I knew

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it was was God calling me to do.

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And yet the morning of my wedding, I

had like a little bit of an anxiousness

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or just a nervousness about the

day, not about my husband, not cold

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feet, but it was just like, this

is really big and this is forever.

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And.

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Oh my gosh, right?

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Like those feelings are going, going

to coexist and that's totally normal.

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Another example for me was first time

I ever did a talk at Seek, um, this was

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kind of like a dream I had for a while,

and yet I was like super fear, fearful

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of it and I had felt the Lord make a

pretty clear call a couple years back

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that I was going to do that one day.

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And I was like, I don't know.

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That seems kind of terrifying.

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Sikh is a lot of pressure.

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It's like the biggest Catholic conference

out there It took a lot of discernment

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for me to say yes, but in the depths of

my heart, I knew God was calling me to

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do it, and a way that I needed to discern

is speaking something I'm called to.

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In some degree.

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I had to take the step to do it

right, like I was never fully

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going to know unless I did it and

I loved it or I hated it, whatever.

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So.

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I decided to do it, and did I

feel complete peace the months,

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weeks, and days and even minutes

leading up to getting on the stage?

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Absolutely not.

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I was truly a nervous wreck, and

if you watch the video, you would

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literally never know because I had

the best time on stage, but it's true.

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Bless my husband's heart 'cause

he dealt with all my nervousness.

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The months leading up trying to figure out

what my talk was gonna be, practicing it.

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Just like totally convincing myself that

I was absolutely not like meant to do

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this and was not equipped to do this.

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Him just building me up as much as he

could and telling me how I was believing

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so many lies, and then getting on the

stage and absolutely loving it and.

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I was confident the whole time that it

was something God was calling me to do.

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And yet I had, you could say,

negative feelings around it.

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Like it didn't feel good

to feel those things.

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But the second I stepped up on

that stage, everything melted away.

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I absolutely loved it.

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Um, I loved getting to share my

story and encourage the women

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that were in the audience.

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Um, I think there was men out there too.

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I know there's men that follow along.

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Um, and I loved.

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One of my favorite things is like

connecting with people afterwards

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and getting to hear your stories

and speak straight into your life.

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Um, so, so yeah.

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So I was like, huh, why was I

freaking out all those months?

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Like, that was awesome.

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I loved doing that.

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And to be completely honest, that's a

cycle that happens every single time.

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I pretty much get on stage.

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So it's like a couple months of me

like dreading it and being like, no,

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I probably should never do this again.

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Then I get on stage and I'm like,

wait, that was super awesome.

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I love it.

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Maybe I'll do it again.

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So, yeah, we'll see where that all leads.

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But.

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Like I said, I don't feel like

peace is the only thing that you're

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going to feel, and it's okay to

have other feelings around it.

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Um, the Lord sometimes calls us to do

big things, and so I think that big

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feelings in both directions can coexist

throughout the discernment process.

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Now discernment involves

hearing God's voice.

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And so how do you distinguish your

voice, God's voice and the enemy's voice?

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This is really important and

what I wanna say here is God

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gave us our intellect, our will.

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He gave us our heart, our mind, our soul,

and he uses those to communicate with

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us when we are in right relationship

with God and living in a state of

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grace, genuinely pursuing him in our

lives, you can trust those intuitions

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and gut feelings that you have.

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Because when something moves you in your

prayer or when you're reading scripture

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and there's a word or a phrase that stands

out to you, that's not a coincidence.

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And I know sometimes we're in

prayer and these things happen

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and we think like, was that me?

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Or was that God like, was that really,

was that just me thinking those things?

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But the Holy Spirit works in us,

and like I said, if you're genuinely

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wanting to do the will of God and

living a Christ-centered life,

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living in a state of grace, being

in relationship with him, he's gonna

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use those methods to speak to us.

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Like he's really rarely.

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Pretty much never going to

appear to us physically or have a

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booming voice that says, this is

what you're called to do, Mari.

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Although I ask for it all the time, but

in reality, I think if that happened,

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I would literally be so terrified.

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So.

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The Lord knows also we can't handle that.

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So he uses subtle ways, right,

that are familiar to us.

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Our voice is familiar to

us, our mind, our heart.

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We know how that works.

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And so he uses those methods

to speak to us as well.

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It's not a coincidence when

something really strikes you in

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prayer or in scripture, that's the

Holy Spirit moving in you there?

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Um, or when you're in adoration in a

really clear thought or phrase just.

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Pops into your head

and you can't shake it.

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That's not you making it up, you guys.

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That's the Lord working through

you and wanting to communicate,

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wanting to communicate with you.

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And like I said before, like sometimes

it'll be these really specific ways

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that you become familiar with and it'll

change person to person, but you'll kind

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of get to know like what does it feel

like when God's working in my life and

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answering my prayers of discernment.

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I've discerned many big things in my

life and I feel like I've begun to see a

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pattern of what it feels like in prayer.

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When the Lord is confirming something,

when he's leading me to something.

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So then the next time that starts

to happen, I kind of start to

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get butterflies in my stomach.

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'cause I'm like, oh no,

I know what this means.

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Like something big is coming.

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Like this is totally

God leading me this way.

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Um, but it's good you begin to kind

of familiarize yourself with that.

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Now, distinguishing the evil's voice.

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Is actually pretty easy because

it's just literally the opposite

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of what God would ever say to you

of what God would ever lead you to.

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The evil's voice causes true

anxiety, true fear, true shame.

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It puts you down and it makes you doubt.

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It makes you doubt truth.

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It makes you doubt

God's goodness the most.

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That's what I have learned.

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I have learned that.

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There are times where I'm doubting what

God wants for me in my life because I'm

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doubting that it's gonna be good for me.

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And that's a pretty good indication

for me that that's the evil one working

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in my heart because God is good.

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And those are basic

truths we can go back to.

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God is a good father who wants good

things for us, and who genuinely

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wants to lead us to Him and to heaven.

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And so when we start to doubt that God's

ways are good, or will bring us joy

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or freedom or goodness into our life.

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That's a pretty clear indication

that the evil one is working.

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Um, and we can then reject those and

remind ourselves of the truths that God

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is good and wants good things for us.

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And if you're struggling, you can write

down the statements or the things that

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you are being moved in, or that you're

hearing or feeling in your heart, and

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read them out loud and ask yourself

like, would Jesus say that to me?

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Would he look at me and speak that to me?

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Or maybe look in the scriptures

and see how he tends to people?

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Like would he say that outright to them?

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And sometimes Jesus does say

things that are tough love, right?

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Like sometimes we do need that, but

there's a difference between like tough

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love and really shaming you or, um,

kind of breaking down your identity

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as a beloved son or daughter, right?

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So then how do you discern between your

motives, your desires, and god's right?

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And does this really matter?

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And my answer to that is really

when you're living in a state of

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grace and you're genuinely pursuing

a relationship with God, like I

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was just saying, right, your will.

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Is naturally going to align with his.

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It just is because the more you live

a Christ-centered life, the more you

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just naturally are inclined to the

things of God and the will of God, and

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the more you begin to have a distaste

for and reject things of the world or

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things that lead you down a path of

sin, temptations that are not of God.

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And so it's kind of just this like

natural inclination as you grow towards

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the Lord, so will your will and your

will will begin to align to his.

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Now, that's not always a hundred percent

the case because sometimes it is really

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hard for us to let go of what we want,

and I've been there before many times.

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And so if that's you, if

you're not quite there yet.

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I get it and sometimes you just

need to pray this specific prayer.

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There's been so many times where I

pray this specific prayer and I still

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pray it sometimes when I feel that I

just like am having a hard time wanting

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what God wants for my life, and I pray.

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Lord, help me to want what you want.

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Help me to want to do your will,

and sometimes I even have to pray.

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Lord, help me to want

to want to do your will.

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I don't really want to

do your will right now.

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But I wish I wanted to, but so help

me to want to, want to do your will.

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Um, please change my heart and

pray that like literally day after

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day, you guys like pray it every

day for a period of time and.

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Even if it's not a complete genuine

prayer at the beginning, it will become

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more genuine the more you pray it.

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And he will hear you,

he will hear your heart.

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Um, and he will change your heart

and will align your will to his will.

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Like I've seen it so many times in my life

where I was like, I will never do this.

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And then I was like, Lord, just

like help me to want what you want.

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Help me to align our wills, and all

of a sudden, here I am doing this.

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And I was like, I genuinely desire it.

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How did that happen?

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Grace and the Lord.

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And that's, that's just, that's just

gonna happen when you really open your

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heart to him and allow him to work.

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Okay.

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Let's talk a little bit more about.

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Discernment in dating and vocation.

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First thing, I think there's a lot of over

spiritualizing that happens in dating.

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There's discernment that needs to happen,

but there's a lot of over spiritualizing.

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I feel like I see and hear

more and more now, and so.

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Honestly, I just feel like you don't

need a bunch of discernment, um, until

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later in the relationship because at the

beginning when people are just kind of

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going on initial dates, it's more human.

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I feel like, do you

like this person or not?

325

Are.

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Their quality is something that

you're attracted to, something that

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you're looking for in a future spouse.

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Um, are you attracted to them?

329

Is like this relationship

feeling like in line or, or not?

330

Right.

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And a, a couple dates I think will

be pretty clear if you feel like you

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wanna keep seeing each other or not.

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And then kind of more

discernment will, will come in.

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So I think that we're kind of

over overcomplicating it in a way

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at the beginning by saying you

have to, like, pray about whether

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or not to accept a first date.

337

Um, you don't need to pray about it.

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You just need to go on it

and see what happens, right?

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Like don't put a ton of pressure

on those first couple dates.

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Just go in with an open mind

and an open heart to really just

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get to know the person and get

to know them on a deeper level.

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Like maybe you know them as a friend,

but like maybe you don't know a lot

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more about like what else really

matters in their life or about

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their family or their upbringing.

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Like just get to know them more as a

person, and that's discernment in itself.

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I also wanna say, I think in the

Catholic world there's more and more

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of a push for women to just say yes

to any first date that comes along.

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And I wanna be someone that just like

gives you a freedom to say no as well.

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I do think it's okay to say no to a date.

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I think it's really.

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Um, flattering and honoring if a man asks

you on a date and thank him for that as

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well, and be like, I'm so honored that

you would want to take me on a date.

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Thank you so much.

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But if you genuinely, like, if

you really know this person or

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like there's just like literally.

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Zero chance you actually

wanna go on a date with them.

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I think that's super valid and I think

you could just say something like, thank

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you so much for asking me on a date.

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I'm so flat and I'm so honored

that you would wanna take me out.

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I just want to honor you and

your time and your heart as well.

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And I really just see

ourselves being friends.

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Um, and I would just like love

to keep the relationship at that.

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That's totally fine as well.

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And then if you do wanna accept

the date and after you maybe go on

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a few dates, then you can discern,

okay, God, like should I enter into

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a relationship with this person?

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Is this someone that I see

qualities of a future spouse in?

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Um, am I really enjoying myself?

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Are they leading me to you?

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But you don't have to answer the

question of, is this the one yet?

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Because that's what boyfriend

girlfriend is for, right?

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So you're discerning like, should

I enter into a relationship with

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them, an exclusive relationship?

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And then that relationship is

to discern, is this person.

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The one, and God's gonna prepare

you for each stage of the

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relationship, and that's something

that I really want to make clear.

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Like when you're dating, you don't

need to figure out if you're ready

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for marriage yet because you're not.

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Like you're, you need to go

into a relationship when you're

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boyfriend, girlfriend, and you're

actually in a relationship.

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You're not ready to get

married either, right?

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Like the next step is to

discern, getting engaged.

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And then even when you're

engaged, like God's not asking

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you to be married in that moment.

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He's asking you to prepare

your heart to become married.

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And so each stage of the relationship,

as long as you're seeking Christ

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and asking for the grace, he's

going to prepare you for each stage.

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So.

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I'll share a couple things that,

um, Trey and I did when we were

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da dating and well, and discerning

getting into a relationship.

391

And then while we were dating,

um, some of the things that we

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dis did to discern the next step.

393

So before we became official, like we

were going on on dates, like coffee

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dates, really casual, like coffee

dates or like brunch, like walking

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around campus, stuff like that.

396

Um, and we were actively praying about.

397

Entering into a relationship

with each other.

398

We were only dating each other.

399

We weren't dating other people.

400

Um, but we both really knew

that we liked each other.

401

The reason why we had so much discernment

around whether or not we should become

402

boyfriend girlfriend was because

we both had kind of just come off.

403

Well, I was just coming off of a

season of singleness where I had like

404

specifically chosen to not date anybody.

405

I had dated like multiple people in the

past, back to back, and I just wanted

406

a season where I could grow myself,

grow in my, uh, female friendships

407

and grow in my relationship with God.

408

Trey had kind of just left a relationship

where he thought he was about to go

409

into that period of singleness and so he

wasn't like intending on dating anybody.

410

And then we met and he was like,

oh crap, I really like her.

411

And I was like, shoot, I really like him.

412

Um, and so we went on dates and we

would just, in our own prayer, like

413

ask the Lord to make clear and to show

us like if this was something that we.

414

Should continue pursuing.

415

Um, we started rating men, women

in the Mystery of love, which

416

is a kind of a shortened version

of JP Two's theology, the Body.

417

And I don't feel like anybody who's like

just in the dating period needs to read

418

this, but I definitely feel like if you

are actually exclusively dating boyfriend

419

girlfriend, you should really read this.

420

Um, and that really for us, helped

us to get on the same page of what we

421

desired and expected in our relationship.

422

Because neither of us had really

come from relationships that were

423

Christ-centered or really pursuing,

um, their faith in any way.

424

And that was something we both

wanted in our next relationship.

425

And so we both were like, I know you say

you want that, but like, let's just really

426

talk about like what that looks like.

427

Because in the past, our other

significant others like had kind

428

of been like, yeah, I want that.

429

But then like actions did

not really show, right?

430

So we read that book beforehand.

431

We were like, yeah, like this is.

432

This is what we wanna base

our relationship off of.

433

This is how we wanna pursue each other

and protect each other in chastity.

434

Um, so we read that, got

on the same page and.

435

If you want the full story of

how it be, we really discern

436

to become boyfriend girlfriend.

437

There's a whole podcast episode about it.

438

I'm pretty sure it's probably like episode

two or three of the entire podcast.

439

It's one of our most listened to episodes

and I would be here for another hour.

440

So if I went into all the details,

but then once we were actually

441

dating, we prayed a decade of

the rosary every single day.

442

We just called it the daily

dating decade, and we just

443

prayed it for our relationship.

444

Um, for the strength to be chased

in our relationship because it's not

445

easy for just clarity and discernment

of like if this is the one or not.

446

Um, and we just entrusted our

relationship to Mary and asked her

447

for , her intercession every single day.

448

We also just went to mass together a lot.

449

Um, we went to weekday masses,

um, prayed rosaries and just

450

encouraged each other in our faith.

451

And as we were.

452

Getting more and more serious in our

relationship, and we just saw how that

453

support for each other's faith and

pursuing our relationships with Christ

454

was really encouraged in our relationship.

455

It just became more and more clear,

like, yeah, like this is someone

456

that I like should really be with.

457

That's really building me up and

bringing me closer to Christ,

458

And truly, if this is a kind

of marriage that you wanna

459

have a God-centered marriage.

460

A marriage where you guys are

running towards Christ together and

461

evangelizing, um, this is, this is

the best advice that I could give you.

462

And this is something I heard

463

in college and I think it was

probably Sarah Swofford that set.

464

She had said, if you wanna figure

out, like if you're trying to

465

find someone to date, right,

just start running towards Jesus.

466

Like book it towards Jesus, grow

in your relationship with him, and

467

then just start looking to the sides

and see who's running with you.

468

And I wish I would've heard that way

before then because I was totally

469

the girl who was like pulling my

boyfriends along and was like, I.

470

Trying to convince them of why a

faith centered relationship was good,

471

or trying to convince them to have

faith be important in their lives.

472

Um, and.

473

Honestly, it's just like, that's just

not the kind of man that you want, quote

474

unquote, like leading your family, right?

475

Because they're clearly not leading.

476

So after several relationships of feeling

like, gosh, am I ever going to find a

477

guy that just like loves his faith as

much as I do and encourages me in mine,

478

um, I just started running to Jesus and

I stopped running towards men and I just

479

started running to Jesus full force.

480

And there was a moment in confession,

I've probably talked about this before,

481

when a priest told me that if I wanted to

marry the good Catholic guy, I needed to

482

be the good Catholic girl that that good

Catholic guy would actually want to marry.

483

And he basically was like, you're not that

person right now, which is a little tough.

484

Love to hear, um, her a little

bit to hear at the time, but.

485

I also respond very well to a challenge.

486

So the Lord really knew what he was

doing in that moment, and, and it worked.

487

It just like it really touched my heart

and it spoke to me and, and I took it

488

to heart and I began to do just that.

489

Like I began to change my habits.

490

I began to change who I was, little

by little, and I began to ultimately

491

just run towards Jesus and.

492

One day I'm just happened to be sitting

across the table of some random guy

493

grabbing coffee because someone told

me that he wanted to start bible

494

studies on campus, and they knew that

that's what I wanted to do on campus

495

and that we should just get connected

because we had the same vision.

496

And we started leading

Bible studies together.

497

We were in religion classes together.

498

We were literally just friends

for like a couple months, and we

499

encouraged each other in our faith.

500

We encouraged each other to go

to adoration, to go to daily

501

mass, and I'm really not kidding

you when at first I was like.

502

Not thinking about dating this guy.

503

I was just like, oh my gosh,

his faith is so amazing.

504

He is like clearly encouraging me in my

faith and just pursuing his on his own.

505

Like I wanna be best friends.

506

Like I know we're about to be like

literally best friends and we are

507

still best friends to this day.

508

We are actually married, so.

509

So that advice really works, right?

510

Like run to Jesus and then turn it

side and see who's running with you

511

and then just marry that person.

512

So that's my advice.

513

To sum it up, when you are running

towards Jesus mission is inevitable.

514

Like when you know and love the Lord.

515

That desire for mission, sharing

him with others, evangelizing,

516

just kind of overflows.

517

And so if there's someone right next

to you running at the same pace, their

518

heart is gonna be in that same place.

519

And naturally you are going to do

that together in your relationship.

520

How did I know Trey was the one?

521

That's a question I get a lot.

522

And I think that there either I say

it in that one episode I mentioned

523

earlier about our relationship, or

I think I literally probably have

524

a whole nother episode about it.

525

Just search it.

526

Um, for me, like it was very specific.

527

Um, I.

528

Had read How to Find Your Soulmate Without

Losing Your Soul by Jason and Everett.

529

Great book to help you kind of

discern like what does a God-centered

530

relationship look like, and.

531

I think it was probably from

that book, it encouraged me

532

to pray for my future spouse.

533

So I wrote a, I wrote up a notes

in my phone, like I typed out

534

exactly the characteristics I was

looking for in a man's character

535

and who he like was as a person.

536

And then I even wrote down some like

phy physical characteristics that I

537

wanted because I'm like, Lord, you

know, you hear all of our prayers, um.

538

It was not a very extensive list.

539

I had four things of characteristics and

just like a few things of like physical

540

traits that I was looking for, and I

prayed with that list every single night.

541

I prayed for a man with those things

and then I actually prayed for the

542

man in who he was himself, right?

543

So I would pray like, Lord.

544

I pray that you would help

me find a man that is.

545

You know, X, Y, Z, whatever.

546

And then I would pray for him.

547

I'd be like, I pray that he knows you.

548

I pray that his faith is strong.

549

I pray that he has a good family, that

he surrounds himself with good friends,

550

that he's being pure and chaste.

551

Um, I would just pray for him as well.

552

And what was crazy, like I, I

prayed that for like a couple

553

months and then one day I met Trey.

554

We became friends, we were in a religion

class together and we were studying

555

for this test in the library together.

556

And we took a break from studying and

he was in a leadership class that asked

557

him to create something that represented

who he was and what his strengths were.

558

And I had literally just

met him three weeks prior.

559

And so I was like, I don't

really know who you are.

560

'cause he was asking me to help him like.

561

He knew I was creative and he's

like, how do I do this project?

562

And I was like, I don't

really know you super well.

563

Like the people that know you that

you've talked to already, like

564

what have they said about you?

565

Like what are some of these qualities or

these traits that describe who you are?

566

And then I'll help you kind of figure

out how to like present those and.

567

The four things that I had written in

the exact order in my notes were the

568

four things he said that people had

described him as literally word for word.

569

Exactly.

570

And in the exact order that

I had written them down.

571

And I had prayed with that

list every single night.

572

And so like as soon as he said

them in that order, I knew exactly.

573

What that list was, and I probably

like went cold, totally white.

574

I was like freaking out inside because

I was looking at this man who I

575

had literally just met three weeks

prior and I was like, oh my gosh.

576

Like this is my husband.

577

So.

578

That's a unique situation.

579

Like maybe you'll have

something like that too.

580

Maybe not.

581

But I think that having clarity in

who you're looking for and actively

582

praying for those things, those

things will become pretty clear

583

when you see them in a person.

584

And when you become so familiar with

what you're praying for, when you

585

start seeing that in person, you'll

know and you'll recognize that.

586

And I think the last

thing I wanna end on is.

587

When someone fears choosing

the wrong vocation, right?

588

Not even not the wrong person, but

like, okay, am I called to marriage

589

or am I called to religious life?

590

Am I gonna choose the wrong vocation?

591

What I wanna say to you

here is that the Lord.

592

Wanted our love to be free

and full and fruitful.

593

And so he gave us free will.

594

And like I said before, if we're

truly seeking God's will, if we're

595

living in relationship with him,

if we are in a state of grace,

596

we can't really mess up his plan.

597

Like God intentionally gave us freedom.

598

He didn't give us like one set path

that we were supposed to follow.

599

And if we get off that path,

then we're cut off from him.

600

No.

601

So he works with everything that

we give him and when we genuinely

602

are trying to make steps towards

him, he's going to bless those.

603

And I think the same

comes with our vocation.

604

Like I have a priest friend who like

was in a relationship and thought

605

that he was going to be a husband

and a father and genuinely desired

606

being a husband and a father.

607

And there was just a moment

in this relationship where the

608

Lord presented an invitation,

like, what about the priesthood?

609

Like, have you considered that?

610

And he just like felt this

inclination to, to open that door.

611

And I'm sure it was not easy right away,

but it was something that was just not.

612

Easily shaken.

613

And it was an invitation

that was just there.

614

And in the end, he kind of

felt the Lord say like, I will

615

bless whatever path you take.

616

You can pursue me in

whatever path you take.

617

You'll be a great husband and

father and I'll bless that, but I

618

wanna invite you to be a priest.

619

And if you, if you accept this

invitation and follow me in this

620

vocation, like I'm really gonna

bless that abundantly as well.

621

And you are going to see the love

and the freedom and the fruitfulness

622

that I have for you in that vocation.

623

Now I think that gives us a

lot of perspective that like he

624

could have chosen either one and

the Lord would've blessed it.

625

Um, but he had obedience to follow

what he felt the Lord calling him to.

626

So sometimes I think like you'll feel

that call and if you just dream about

627

marriage and motherhood and have

zero inclination towards religious

628

life and literally never desire it.

629

It's probably a pretty good indication

that you're not called to it.

630

The Lord is not gonna call

you to something that's

631

going to make you miserable.

632

Um, so.

633

Let's just remember the Lord is good.

634

He wants good things for us.

635

So when he's calling us to

something, it's gonna be good for us.

636

It's gonna be good for our lives.

637

So well you guys, I hope

that was good and helpful.

638

I feel like we just did like a big crash

course on discernment and vocation.

639

If you have any more questions, feel

free to drop 'em in the at ever.

640

Be Instagram channel.

641

Just DM me there if you are.

642

In our Kingdom Club, um, on Patreon, you

know, you can always submit questions

643

for our, ever be answers and our after

party q and a after this episode.

644

So let's just dive into the

ever be answers for the day

645

and then we'll wrap it up.

646

mcw_2_04-22-2026_122357: right,

so the questions we have today

647

are: congratulations on adopting.

648

Even though plans changed and you're no

longer planning to adopt internationally,

649

are twins still a possibility

or two kids still a possibility?

650

We also have, in a world that's become

obsessed with self and not aging,

651

what are your thoughts from a biblical

standpoint on Botox, fillers, et cetera?

652

And you may have already answered this

already, but thinking back to when you

653

received the sacrament of confirmation,

I'm curious as to who did you choose

654

to be your confirmation saint, and

why did you choose them to be your

655

saint, and who did you choose to be

your confirmation sponsor, and why?

656

Okay.

657

So I'll answer that last one here on

Everbe Answers, and then the other

658

two we'll answer at the after-party,

um, for our Kingdom Club community.

659

So for when I received the

sacrament of confirmation, I

660

was sixteen, and I chose St.

661

Gianna to be my confirmation saint.

662

Why did I choose her?

663

Um, at the time, I didn't know a lot

of different saints, and I almost did

664

Mary because I love Mary so much, and

she was just like the saint that I

665

had a relationship with my whole life.

666

But I was encouraged to just kind

of do some research and see if

667

any other saints stood out to me.

668

And I was just looking up

saints who-- Why did I...

669

I'm trying to remember back to

like, what was I looking up?

670

I looked something up on Google that

was like, I think it was literally like

671

patron saint of unborn babies or patron

saint of crisis pregnancy moms or patron

672

saint of aborted babies, something like

that, because it was close to my story.

673

I don't know if I've ever done a podcast

episode on this, which I probably should.

674

Um, my mom had me when she was in college.

675

She was 19 when she found out she

was pregnant with me and decided to

676

keep me, although at the time she

wasn't super strong in her faith,

677

and she actually considered abortion.

678

So I had just kind of recently

learned that part of my

679

story a couple years before.

680

I think my parents took me out to

coffee when I was, like, 13 to,

681

like, tell me the story of how

I was conceived and everything.

682

And, um, so it was just, like, really

fresh on my heart, and as a teenager I

683

was, like, really processing through,

like, that conception story and, like,

684

how I came into the world and my parents

making the brave decision to move forward

685

with an unplanned pregnancy in college.

686

Um, and so I just, like, randomly one

day was like, "I wonder if there's

687

a saint for something like that."

688

And St.

689

Gianna was the first one that popped up.

690

Um, and I just loved her story, and

I loved how she was so pro-life,

691

um, and chose to keep her kids in

the midst of some really difficult

692

health complications she was facing.

693

Um, so that's how I picked my

saint, and they say that your

694

confirmation saint picks you.

695

Um, and looking back

now, I just-- I know St.

696

Gianna has always been interceding for

me, um, from the very beginning, from

697

the moment I was conceived, and she's

been a great saint friend of mine.

698

Um, even through all of our fertility

struggles, I know that her intercession

699

has been really powerful for us as well.

700

So love that I picked her.

701

And then as for my confirmation sponsor,

one of my really close family friends,

702

um, she was the mom of one of my really

close friends, and she was one of my

703

mom's very best friends, um, who was

very strong in her faith, very Catholic.

704

She was like an aunt to me, and I

picked her to be my confirmation

705

sponsor because she was just a great

example for me of a grown woman who was

706

passionate about her faith and living

it out, um, way in the next, next, next,

707

next stage of life than I was, right?

708

I was in high school, but she had,

like, three kids and, you know, totally

709

an adult, and yet, like, I could see

how much she loved Jesus, how she

710

taught her family, how she lived her

life, and she always encouraged me

711

in my faith, just as, like, a family

friend and, like, a mentor in my life.

712

So, um, I picked her 'cause

we had a close relationship.

713

I really trusted her, and I

really appreciated and admired

714

her faith as a grown woman.

715

So as you're choosing A confirmation

saint, I would look up things that maybe

716

you're really passionate about or special

intentions that, like, you want prayers

717

for, that maybe there's a patron saint of

that's really closely tied to your life or

718

your story or what you're going through.

719

And then in terms of a confirmation

sponsor, someone whose faith life you

720

really admire, and bonus points if

it's somebody who's, like, specifically

721

walked with you in some way or encouraged

you in some way to grow in your faith.

722

Um, so that's my story on those.

723

I will jump into the other

questions at the after-party.

724

So glad that I got to spend the

day with you guys today, although

725

I don't know why I said day.

726

It was just, like, probably an hour of

recording, but always love being here

727

with you, and I'll catch you next week.