The journey to get from "Point A" to "Point B" can repeatedly be difficult, particularly with the variety of people, places, and things that may stand in our way. Regardless of the causes, the willingness to tell your story has multiple applications to help ascertain what is important in growing in your personal and professional development, but to achieve lessons along the way that will make you well-rounded from a broad perspective. Today's guest, Heather Keeney, shares her past addictions and how starting her business, Forward Momentum Life Coaching, LLC, helps to unlock potential while navigating a variety of obstacles that stand in your way. The story shared today has a surprising twist at the end that exemplifies the power of human conviction, and being able to be bold in any situation that helps to bring enlightenment.

Guest Bio

Heather is the founder and owner of Forward Momentum Life Coaching, LLC. She used to be an addictions counselor and an unlicensed psychotherapist until she had to retire due to illness. She's had many "bumps" in the road from addiction to multiple sclerosis and bad relationships. Heather took all of these things and turned them into learning experiences. She realized that she didn't know who she was at the time, but now helps people learn who they are and what they want through an introspective journey.

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Intro/Outro By: Michael Dugan, Podcast Host: Voice4Chefs

Welcome to the podcast where relationships, confidence, and

2

determination all converge into

an amazing, heartfelt experience.

3

This is Speaking From The Heart.

4

Joshua: Welcome back to episode

number 142 of Speaking from the Heart.

5

Today's guest is Heather Keeney.

6

Heather is the founder and owner of

Forward Momentum Life Coaching LLC.

7

She used to be an addictions counselor

and an unlicensed psychotherapist

8

until she had to retire due to illness.

9

She's had many quote unquote bumps in

the road from addiction, to multiple

10

sclerosis, and bad relationships.

11

Heather took all of these things and

turned them into learning experiences.

12

She realized that she didn't know who

she was at the time, but now helps

13

people learn who they are, and what they

want through an introspective journey.

14

Today's episode is a little bit different

than some of the other episodes that

15

I've had, and I'm going to keep why

this is a little bit different a secret

16

until the very end, but I will say that

Heather's unique story shares why it's

17

so important to understand why we turn

to drugs, especially as a last recourse,

18

when we have gone through so many

different types of situations in our life.

19

Being able to lead by example, to

gain trust, to destroy that negative

20

self talk in our life, doesn't

always equate to being able to

21

overcome the variety of situations

that oftentimes face us, especially

22

when it comes to the use of drugs.

23

I think that when we look at the bigger

picture, especially of what this story

24

is all about, not only will you have

a better understanding of why Heather

25

walked away, but why it was so important

for her, even after we hung up the

26

headphones and the microphone, of why

it was so important for us to have a

27

special bonding moment, that I'll get

to tell you a little bit later on.

28

But with that, let's go to the episode.

29

All right.

30

We're here with Heather Keeney.

31

Heather, thanks for sharing

your heart with us today.

32

Heather: Thank you for having me.

33

I'm really excited to be here.

34

Joshua: I'm excited that you're here, too.

35

You have a very, very, very unique story,

in which I let the audience know a little

36

bit about that before we started here,

but Heather, I have to ask you, because

37

I've had numerous people on this show

that have gone through a lot of different

38

things, but I noticed that in your

bio that you used to be an addictions

39

counselor, but yet you also have had a

road of addiction that you've overcome?

40

I'm really curious about this backstory,

if you're willing to share it with us.

41

Heather: Okay, I can do that.

42

I got wrapped up in some

pretty heavy duty drugs.

43

Cocaine, meth, heroin,

basically, you name it.

44

I did it.

45

I came home one day and found

my husband dead on the couch.

46

Joshua: Wow.

47

Heather: So that was kind of a

smack in the face, like, "You

48

better get it together, Heather."

49

I moved from Colorado Springs to Grand

Junction to get away from all the people

50

I knew, and basically started my life

over in Grand Junction, and regained

51

the trust of my children, and became an

addictions counselor, and went to college.

52

I had planned to become a doctor.

53

Dr.

54

Keeney would've been nice, but I

got sick, so, anyway, it was really

55

interesting to find out that I

wasn't the only one with this story.

56

Joshua: Wow.

57

I've had people talk about where these

sort of things happen in their lives

58

that kind of led them down this path,

but before I even venture into that

59

adventure in itself, I noticed that

you are going through illness , and

60

I'm wondering if that's what you meant

earlier about having your illness.

61

Is that connected in some way,

or is that part of the overall

62

situation that you've been in?

63

Heather: That is very much part

of why I had to stop going to

64

school and I had to stop working.

65

I got so sick that I couldn't walk.

66

I couldn't maneuver the

building any longer.

67

My mind, as far as cognitive abilities,

were slipping and I had some pretty major

68

attacks, so I ended up wheelchair bound

and could no longer do it, and I didn't

69

feel comfortable being responsible for

people's mental health when I didn't

70

feel like my mental health was up to par.

71

Joshua: Was using the drugs that

you listed have anything to do with

72

what you're going through today, do

you think, or is that not true, and

73

it's something completely different?

74

Heather: Well, I think that- Okay.

75

I used the drugs to

escape what was going on.

76

I used the drugs to escape a bad marriage.

77

I used the drugs to

escape multiple sclerosis.

78

I was in complete denial that

I had multiple sclerosis.

79

I was in complete denial about everything.

80

I completely lost myself.

81

I didn't know who I was.

82

I had absolutely no idea who I

was, what I wanted, how I wanted to

83

get it, or even if I was capable.

84

I felt like I had been

stripped of my identity.

85

Joshua: I find that sometimes when

we make bad choices, which I'll

86

tell you some of my bad choices.

87

I mean, I've messed

around with married women.

88

I messed around with the fact that I was

using porn as an addiction tool myself,

89

actually dealing with other women in not

only activity that I'm not proud of, but

90

I also was not happy with who I was, and

as a result, I was feeding this dark hole

91

that was never going to be fed, and I

think that both you and I, although we're

92

coming from it at different angles, I've

overcome that in many different ways, so

93

with that said, Heather, what led you into

now wanting to do coaching to help others?

94

What's that passion that you have?

95

Is it driven by the fact that you

don't want people to go through

96

what you have been through, or

is it for some other reason?

97

Heather: Well, it's partially that

I don't want people to have to go

98

through the things that I've gone

through, but what really struck me

99

was I had a really major attack.

100

I went completely paralyzed from my

chest to my toes, and I ended up in

101

the hospital for like 17 days, learning

how to function, so obviously I was

102

very angry for a very long time, and I

rehabilitated, and I even taught myself

103

to take a few steps; literal steps.

104

I'm able to take care of myself.

105

I am all but fully functional as far

as being able to take care of myself.

106

I don't want people to have to go

through that, and what else I didn't

107

want them to have to go through was

to feel like they were all but dead.

108

I didn't want them to feel like

they wanted to give up, like

109

they had nothing left to give.

110

After I got finished being angry and

realized a lot of my friends were

111

telling me, "Heather, you know what?

112

You'd be a really good life coach.

113

You've got a heck of a story.

114

Why don't you share it with people?",

so I figured, "Okay, I'll look it up.

115

What's a life coach?"

116

Well, it kind of put me on the path

to wanting to share my story, and to

117

help people have the same types of

experiences, you know, as far as getting

118

to know themselves, rediscovering what

they wanted, who they are, and realize

119

that they still have something to

give no matter what their situation.

120

Joshua: That's exactly how I fell

into doing coaching as a whole.

121

I focus a lot more on my public speaking

coaching, but yet at the same time, I do

122

mix in life coaching, and I've been able

to take certification classes, and be able

123

to say that I have learned a lot about

working with those types of people too,

124

but you said something that intrigues me.

125

You said that you were angry, and I know

I was angry for a very long time after I

126

tried to end my life, which I shared with

you before the show, and how that sort of

127

process was because of not feeling good

or comfortable about who I felt inside

128

that I became, and also what people

thought of me as, so I really am curious.

129

What was that anger coming

from that you were feeling?

130

In other words, when you were experiencing

that, what did that really say about

131

yourself at that time, and what do

you feel is different now that you're

132

on the other side of it, because I

imagine that you're not angry anymore.

133

Heather: No.

134

I'm not.

135

Okay, I felt like I had come a long way.

136

I have 20 years of sobriety.

137

Joshua: Congratulations, by the way.

138

That's really incredible.

139

Heather: I've worked really hard on

all this, and I had gone to school

140

and gotten my certifications to

become an addictions counselor, and

141

I felt like I was doing a great job.

142

I was helping people, and I was

angry because I felt like that was

143

ripped away from me, like all that

hard work that I had done was just

144

ripped away from me, and so now, I

might as well still be doing drugs.

145

Ha ha ha.

146

Joshua: Yeah.

147

Yeah.

148

Heather: That's how I felt.

149

I wasn't going to go there.

150

I was married and I have four kids and

I've gained their trust and their respect,

151

and I'm in complete love with my husband.

152

I'm very deeply in love with my husband.

153

He is a wonderful man.

154

He is not abusive at all.

155

I don't think he's got an abusive bone

in his body, and that is fantastic.

156

You know, so it's nice to not be angry.

157

It's nice to find something that I

can do, so that's one thing I would

158

be grateful for the pandemic, because

that kind of opened my eyes and it's

159

like, "Oh, I can do that remotely.",

160

so it really kind of opened the

world up for people like me.

161

Joshua: So, let me get this straight,

because not only have you been through

162

multiple sclerosis, and you are continuing

to fight that battle; I see that, and I

163

want to say, regardless of whether I see

it or not, I see a beautiful person that

164

is willing to work on not only themselves,

but others, so I just wanted you to know

165

that personally from me, as one coach

to another, but you also talked about

166

the fact that you've been through drugs.

167

You make it sound like you also have

been through the ringer when it comes to

168

relationships too, and I'm wondering if

you could share a little bit about that.

169

Heather: Yes, I have definitely been

through the ringer with relationships.

170

My late husband was very abusive:

verbally, physically, financially,

171

emotionally, any way you can

think of, he was very abusive.

172

Of course, I was still upset when I came

home and found him dead on the couch,

173

but, then again, I wasn't quite so upset

because he could no longer hurt me, but

174

it was damaging, because I had to break

my little girl's heart, and so that

175

was rough, but I no longer allow myself

to end up in those types of situations

176

anymore, and that was part of why I used

the drugs, because I was in that kind

177

of abusive relationship I had to escape.

178

Joshua: Now that you're on the other

side of it, because you are, and I'm

179

so proud, because hearing 20 years of

sobriety, I know people that have gone

180

through alcohol and all kinds of other

sort of substance abuse, and they are

181

different kind of person, and in a way in

which I feel that they have gone through

182

a lot of different things, and now they

are seeing things about themselves that

183

maybe they haven't had a chance to do.

184

What would you say is possibly the

most remarkable good thing that you've

185

done, since all these things have

happened, that define who you are today?

186

In other words, if I were to come

up to you and be like, "What's the

187

one thing that you're proud of?"

188

What are you proud of the most?

189

Heather: Wow.

190

I'm proud of finding who I

am; just rediscovering myself.

191

I am proud of being able to answer

all those minuscule questions, like,

192

"Where do you want to go to dinner?",

or, "What do you want to watch on

193

TV?", or whatever; those tiny little

questions that I used to hide from.

194

Ask me what I want to do with my life.

195

I want to be a life coach.

196

Whatever you ask me, I've

got an answer for it.

197

It might not be the perfect

answer, but it's my answer.

198

I have found my voice.

199

Joshua: That's so important is

that you have your own voice.

200

That's essentially what I do for my

coaching as well, but even with that,

201

I want people to feel like they could

express themselves, and I've had guests

202

on recently that have talked about the

importance of being able to share that

203

authenticity, the ability to do that, and

yeah, I do this through the podcast, and

204

there are a lot of things that I have not

shared, and as a matter of fact, Heather,

205

one thing I shared earlier that some

people probably didn't even know that I'd

206

gone through, I shared now for the first

time, and I'm really interested in what

207

people will respond to me as a result of

that, but you saying that you're proud

208

of all those things, it makes me curious.

209

Was there something that helped you to

get to that step that wasn't because

210

of drugs, that it wasn't because

of something that you relied on?

211

Was there people that

helped you along the way?

212

You talked about your

husband that you're with now.

213

I'm sure he's been a great influence,

but I'm wondering if you want to

214

mention anybody else that might have

been a big help, or maybe there was

215

something that you did, because I think

sometimes it's hard to pick ourselves

216

up by the bootstraps to say that we

need to keep trudging along, and for

217

somebody that's been through the number

of things that you have, I have to tell

218

you, you're probably one of the few

guests I've had on this show that have

219

gone through so many different types

of things, and they're willing to tell

220

all about everything that they've been

through, so I'm curious, have there

221

been people, have there been processes?

222

What exactly did you do to get to

where you are, where you are helping

223

people with their own situations?

224

Heather: Well, the number one person that

has helped me through this, actually,

225

is my husband, and the only reason I

can say that is because he gave me room.

226

He gave me enough room

to allow me to be myself.

227

He gave me room to discover

who I was, and what I wanted.

228

He's very supportive.

229

When I said I wanted to go to

school, he was like, "Okay.

230

Let's get you to school."

231

When I said, "I want to be a

life coach.", he said, "Okay.

232

Let's see what we can do about doing that.

233

He's a very supportive, kind person.

234

He's not perfect, of course.

235

I mean, he is a spouse.

236

Anybody that's ever been married knows

that we all drive each other crazy.

237

That's just part of life.

238

Joshua: Thankfully, I don't have to

worry about that because I'm still

239

single, so don't worry, Heather.

240

I don't relate whatsoever,

but for all my listeners out

241

there, I've heard your stories.

242

You don't have to tell me again.

243

Heather: And my kids.

244

My children really helped me out too.

245

My daughter used to follow me wherever

I went, because she was afraid mommy

246

was going to be doing something stupid,

because mommy was usually doing something

247

stupid, you know, but she gained trust.

248

My son gained trust.

249

My other sons gained trust, so that,

all by itself, is probably the most

250

rewarding thing that I experienced

was regaining my children's trust.

251

Joshua: I find that so interesting,

because I know for some people that are

252

going through a lot of difficulty in

their lives, the kids are impacted the

253

most, and I remember a lot of different

things growing up, even with my own

254

parents, that sometimes, even now at

37 years of age, I question, because I

255

don't know if it was really the right

decision, but I also think, "Well, they

256

were doing the best that they could."

257

Do you think your kids are saying the

same thing, that you're just trying

258

to do the best you could, and maybe

that's why they're trusting you again?

259

I mean, let's put it this way.

260

Your kids obviously saw through

all of that, because you're

261

now in a much better place.

262

Do you think that for those that are going

through something like this, do you think

263

there's hope on the other side for them?

264

To be able to have the kids trust again,

if they have something like this happen

265

in their lives, whether it's through

drugs, whether it's going through illness,

266

whether it's having a new relationship?

267

Do you think that there's

always hope for that?

268

Heather: For your kids to trust you?

269

Joshua: Yes.

270

Heather: Definitely.

271

You've just got to put forth the

right words and the right attitude.

272

You've got to show them

that they can trust you.

273

You lead by example.

274

Joshua: Hmm.

275

I like that: lead by example,

and I have a friend of mine.

276

I call him a friend.

277

He was actually a guest on the show many,

many, many episodes ago, and he started

278

a business since that episode that is

actually his tagline, lead by example.

279

It's a great, great concept in

itself, because I think that if we're

280

going to ever make systemic change,

we need to be able to live that

281

ourselves and be able to share that.

282

I mean, that's essentially why

I do all the things that I do.

283

I want it to be that it's authentic,

and I can tell from your story

284

and what you're sharing, it's very

authentic in itself, which leads me

285

into your life coaching business,

which we'll want to talk about here.

286

It's called Forward

Momentum Life Coaching.

287

I'm kind of curious.

288

A lot of people gone through life,

maybe have something that they want to

289

share, they want to call themselves a

coach, or, they fall into this industry

290

because I've seen it this way too.

291

"Oh!

292

You can make six, seven, eight

figure businesses out of this.

293

Oh my gosh!

294

There's so much money to be able to not

only have, but also take people, and help

295

them with whatever problem, situation,

or thing that they have going on.", and

296

man, have I seen some negative people

out there as a result, and I just don't

297

think you are one of those people, so

with that said, what makes you different

298

as a life coach compared to all these

other life coaches that are out there,

299

including even myself for that matter?

300

Heather: Hmm.

301

Not putting the spotlight on me, are you?

302

Joshua: No way am I doing that.

303

Heather: I think what makes me

different is that I've been there.

304

I have been there, I've done

this, and I've worked through it.

305

I think I'm a fantastic person now

and, I like me, so, I want other

306

people to be able to like themselves.

307

I have friends now.

308

People actually come to me for advice.

309

Come to me for just a hug,

or, "Hey, how you doing?"

310

I have a lot of people that

just kind of flock to me.

311

I'm actually one of those people.

312

I'll be at the physical therapy

and complete strangers will come up

313

to me and say, "Can I have a hug?"

314

Joshua: Aww.

315

Heather: And I'm like, "Of course.",

so I had one day in physical

316

therapy, I had three different

people come up to me and ask me,

317

"Can I have a hug?", so apparently,

I have kind of a warm personality.

318

Joshua: That makes such a big difference

to feel like you're approachable, because

319

I even say this to my own clients that

if you can't trust me, how can I trust

320

you to be able to help you with what you

need, so it is bearing a little bit of

321

our souls, let alone bearing a little

bit about the way in which we can share

322

our talents or aspirations or goals to

achieve what we need to achieve, and

323

so, there's something about what you

say on your website that I just want

324

to really discuss with you, which is

about overcoming those limiting beliefs.

325

I've heard the term limiting beliefs for

a very long time, and for me personally,

326

I always thought of that phrase as being

something limiting in itself, that,

327

yeah, I do have these things that really

push me down and I don't want to get

328

myself out of it, so, in your opinion,

how would someone be able to overcome

329

a thought, or a process, or something

that they do routinely as a self defense

330

mechanism, that is a limiting belief?

331

How would you help them

overcome that, in other words?

332

Heather: Well, I would identify their

negative self talk for one, and go

333

through some activities where they

would learn to replace their negative

334

self talk, and then recognize it

each time that thought comes up.

335

Joshua: I should let the listeners know

that you actually recently started this

336

business, and I think that it's really

important to know too, that when we're new

337

coaches, which I'm a newer coach myself.

338

I oftentimes experiment with ways things

work, so sometimes what might work for

339

one person might not work for somebody

else, because we all have different ways

340

in which we think about it, so if someone

did come up to you and wanted to get that

341

sort of advice with you, and maybe they've

had past experiences similar to yours,

342

how would you respond to that sort of

stimulus, meaning, what would you say to

343

somebody that has been through addiction?

344

Maybe has been through medical illnesses?

345

Maybe they have been through

trauma with relationships?

346

How would you help them overcome

that limiting belief, just

347

to put an example out there?

348

Heather: I would ask them, "Well, what do

you want your life to be like?", and then,

349

"What's holding you back?", so that way,

they can identify those different things.

350

Joshua: I think finding and identifying

sometimes can be so tough, especially when

351

we have not only those things that kind of

surround us and make us feel inadequate,

352

but we also have to figure out what are

the ways in which we can navigate through

353

it, while being self accepting, which is

another thing that I noticed about what

354

you have is self acceptance, so when you

use the term "self acceptance", first off,

355

I wonder if you can define that for our

listeners what that means to you, and how

356

you would interplay that with a coaching

relationship, but more importantly,

357

what would be an important first step

for somebody that is going through self

358

acceptance that they need to take in

consideration, because I don't know.

359

Again, this is a little bit about myself,

Heather, just to give you an idea.

360

I was not accepting of not only the

things that I was able to accomplish.

361

I would achieve a lot of things.

362

I have two master's degrees.

363

I have a bachelor's degree, but yet I

was never accepting of what I obviously

364

achieved, let alone have the potential

to achieve, so I'm wondering if you

365

could share a little bit about how you

might overcome that with somebody else.

366

Heather: Well, I'd probably ask them

why they're comparing themselves to

367

others, or what's keeping them from

seeing themselves the way that they are.

368

What's stopping you from seeing

yourself as somebody with

369

that kind of an education?

370

That's a lot of work, so what keeps

you from being able to see that

371

as that kind of accomplishment?

372

Joshua: Oh boy, well, there are a lot of

things that have held me back from being

373

able to see that accomplishment, and even

some of the people that are some of my

374

friends are probably literally screaming

at me right now and being like, "Josh!

375

We've told you how many times.

376

You didn't listen!", but I find that

we often have to figure out what time

377

we're ready to listen to it to be able

to make that progress because, yeah, you

378

can keep spewing it, spewing it, spewing

it, but it doesn't mean that I listened

379

to it because it's the way that you said

it, and it's also the way in which it

380

hurts to really overcome that feeling

of not feeling good about yourself,

381

or not willing to feel like I am good

enough to be able to be accepted, so

382

Heather, we're almost at the end of

our time, and I had this one final

383

question that relates to your story,

and just what you have achieved,

384

because too often, I think that we

get wrapped up in the fact that, "Oh!

385

Here's another story of somebody

that's gone through it and

386

gotten to the other side.

387

Whoop dee doo!", and let's be real.

388

A lot of people just glance right

over it, and that's so sad, because

389

you did put a lot of work into

this to get to where you're at.

390

It is undeniable what you've been through.

391

Most people probably would have never

survived, so I know I have some people

392

out there that are listening to this, and

they're trying to find hope and they're

393

really trying to find that authentic

version of themselves, whether that's

394

personal, whether that's professional,

regardless of what that situation is.

395

Do you have any advice for them,

especially somebody that has gone

396

through a lot of these different

situations in your own life, that

397

you could share with them today?

398

Just one piece of advice.

399

What would you give them?

400

Heather: For me, I really had to focus on

my negative self talk, because if I wasn't

401

able to overcome that, I would probably

still be sitting in the corner hiding.

402

It was difficult to pick out all of

the negative self talk; all those bad,

403

evil, nasty things I would tell myself,

but once I figured him out, when I

404

would catch myself doing it and I was

able to say, "Well, wait a minute!

405

That's not true.", and replace

it with a positive thought.

406

That is where my confidence started to

grow, so for me, that was my first step.

407

Joshua: Yeah.

408

It's such an important first step.

409

I think that if we aren't able to

even take that first step without some

410

assistance or support, you have to

know, and even for those people that

411

are listening to Heather's advice,

just know that there are others out

412

there that are willing to help you.

413

All you got to do is extend a hand

when you're ready to do so, and

414

it's not about pushing you into it.

415

It's when you're ready.

416

Not the other way around.

417

Heather, I want to give

you the last few minutes.

418

I'm sure people are very interested in

learning more about you, and maybe even

419

working with you as being a life coach,

so how would they reach out to contact

420

you at Forward Momentum Life Coaching?

421

If there's any sort of information that

you can provide in terms of any social

422

media that they can visit also, that'll

be also great information for them to

423

partake in, but I want to give you the

last few minutes to share all that.

424

Heather: Okay.

425

My website is

forwardmomentumlifecoaching.com.

426

My social media, I have a group on

Facebook that is called Find Your

427

Life Partner, Trouble to Thriving.

428

I do weekly lives on Facebook and

there are about 30 minutes, and they're

429

pretty informative, interesting topics.

430

I get a lot of good feedback on that.

431

If you want to speak with me

directly, just email me at

432

heather@forwardmomentumlifecoaching.com.

433

Joshua: Heather, I have to tell

you, I have never had a guest

434

quite like you that have gone

through so many different things.

435

You combined a lot of several

different guests that I've had,

436

but it's not about combining.

437

It's not about comparing.

438

This is about you, and your individuality,

and that you've been through so much,

439

and yet you're still willing to push it

forward, and share your story with so many

440

people to give hope, and I think that's

the most beautiful thing about all of

441

what you've shared is that for many people

being able to share that, they would

442

never, ever, ever do that because they are

be afraid of the shame, the persecution,

443

maybe even the judgment, but yet, you are

willing to put that all out there for an

444

important moral life lesson, and I learned

a lot from you today as a result of that,

445

and for all those reasons, Heather, thanks

for being on Speaking From The Heart.

446

You not only spoke from the heart,

but you definitely have a special

447

place in my heart when it comes to

not only what you've been through,

448

but yet what you're going to achieve,

and as being a newer coach, I have

449

to tell you, you're going to rock it.

450

You're going to do real good, and

I'm encouraging you, and cheering

451

you on from the sidelines, so I

wish you luck in that, and thank

452

you so much for being on the show.

453

Heather: Thank you.

454

Appreciate it very much.

455

Joshua: Again, I want to thank

Heather for being part of the show and

456

sharing a little bit about herself.

457

I have to say, there might have been a

lot of gaps of knowledge and information,

458

especially as you listen to this episode,

unlike other guests I've had, that might

459

be asking you even more questions about

what Heather's story is really all about.

460

What got her into some of the

situations that she's been through?

461

What has caused some of these

aspects happening in her life?

462

Now, part of the process that I usually

have with my guests is I always ask

463

them before we even hit the record

button, "Who we should not talk about?

464

What are some off limits subject

matters?", etc, etc, because as part

465

of even this show, I don't believe in

coercing people to talk about things

466

in which they don't feel comfortable

talking about, and as you can imagine,

467

this whole entire show is unscripted.

468

The only notes that I take are

really of my guests as I continuously

469

work on my craft of speaking

extemporaneously, and even talking

470

to people so that I can have that

genuine relationship, that connection.

471

I don't want to have a script, or have

notes, in front of me to always reference.

472

The bio that I read to you every single

episode, the resources that are available

473

to you in the episode notes, along with

other tools that I use as part of the

474

engagement of talking to these guests,

are strictly what I use, but Heather and

475

I had a very interesting conversation

after the show, and after we hung up our

476

headphones, to really explain a couple

things as to why there were some gaps.

477

First off, I don't want to go into a

big tangent as to why Heather has gone

478

through some of the things that she has.

479

I think it's quite clear that there are

some undertones of some people that she

480

simply did not feel comfortable about, but

that's what made this episode even more

481

interesting for me, is what happened after

we hit the stop button on the recording.

482

Heather and I really shared a heart

to heart, and I challenged her, in

483

the future, to always open up about

her story, to gain that perspective

484

for other people that might need that

perspective, so that she can help

485

influence inspire others, and it got

her thinking, "Maybe there are some more

486

things that I really should have shared.

487

Maybe there are some more opportunities

to share the people, and the places,

488

that I was at, so that they understood.",

So Heather, as you listen to this, even

489

after we hung up the headphones and

you think about what our conversation

490

was, please, reach out to me.

491

I would love to have you back on the

show, and maybe we can fill in some of the

492

gaps, especially if my listeners have any

questions, but I have to say, Heather is

493

taking the first step, and that's what I

admire about; her bravery, because it's

494

not easy to get over an addiction, let

alone, even go through helping others

495

before that, to then end up in the same

exact situation that some of her clients

496

have been through, because let's face it.

497

It's not easy to overcome addiction.

498

It's not easy to deal with all these

different areas that we often are

499

challenged in, because sometimes we

have the people in our lives that push

500

back, make us feel afraid to share, and

overall, make us feel crappy inside,

501

thinking that we've done something

wrong, but what we try to do, what we

502

should be doing to escape from those

different areas in our life so that

503

we can live a more fulfilling life.

504

That's really what I want to talk about

as the wrap up of this episode today.

505

What struck me about what we have been

through, maybe the common person, and

506

what Heather has been through, which

many others have been through, is that

507

we don't want people to go through this.

508

This is why we tell our stories.

509

We want them to avoid the junk that is

happening in our own lives, and teaching

510

important, valuable lessons as to why

they shouldn't be going down that path.

511

Your podcast host would have never been

able to do this show if I would have

512

been able to realize even early on that

maybe that would have been the path that

513

I shouldn't have taken: trying to hurt

myself, getting involved with people that

514

I should have never gotten myself involved

in, but more importantly, realizing that

515

I had to overcome stereotypes, things in

which I have to still work on to this day,

516

that those people that always want to say

shit about me, or even have all kinds of

517

other attitudes about myself, I just need

to push away, because they are not worth

518

my time, or the effort that I put into it.

519

Why share these things?

520

Why go through this process?

521

Why always create that connection?

522

Why even bother, like in my life, to

even share these aspects with you?

523

As I've always said,

we're in this together.

524

These are the connections that we need

to be making, and I can go on, and on,

525

and on, about why that's so important,

but I will point you back to the

526

previous 141 episodes that I've done,

plus the bonus episodes that I have

527

completed up to this point, to tell that

story for me, because all these things

528

that we might be doing in our lives

might not be for the right purpose.

529

They might be ripped away from us,

and we were not happy that we have

530

to start all over again, but for

many people, they do decide that

531

they want to keep pushing forward.

532

They do want to grow from

those mindsets that were toxic.

533

They do want to overcome

addiction and recover.

534

That's why there are so many support

groups, and opportunities, to be engaged

535

with these fine folks that are willing

to challenge their mindsets, to get

536

rid of the abusive relationships, and

the things that have forced them into

537

them in the first place, so how do you

find people that will help you heal,

538

and discover, to provide that kind

of encouragement that's supportive?

539

Well, sometimes, like some of my

former guests, they ultimately fall

540

into those types of people, and I can

think of a handful of those individuals

541

that I would love to have back on the

show, because some of my guests have

542

overcome even more issues in their

life to get to where they are today.

543

Sure, that might make us human to know

that we have to overcome over, and

544

over, and over again, with a variety

of different things that we have in our

545

life, sometimes even coming back up yet

again, to create that support, to create

546

that kindness, to garner that trust that

we need to have in order to facilitate

547

the growth process, but as Matthew Roda,

going all the way back to my early 20s

548

episodes, even said, "You have to lead

by example.", and he didn't necessarily

549

say that, but he's been doing that.

550

An update on many different types of

people on this show, I would love to

551

have at some point, especially Matthew's

story, that has taken such a turn

552

for the better, even after our show,

but we have to be there for people.

553

You have to like yourself first, to be

able to do that, to keep moving forward.

554

Heather even admitted that at one point

in her life she wasn't happy with herself,

555

but at the same token, she realized that

she had to change that mindset, which

556

is why I'm so proud of her for doing

podcasts, for even doing this episode

557

today, so I'm telling you, no matter

what you might be at, letting go of that

558

negative self talk, and recognizing what

you need to do and what is required,

559

in order to catch yourself from falling

any further, means that you have to

560

understand that you got to pick out

those people, those places, and those

561

things, that are doing you no good.

562

Now I know.

563

Part of this whole story, this whole

process on the show of Speaking

564

From The Heart, has always been

about having this great accolade.

565

Giving you encouragement.

566

Giving other people encouragement as

to what they're able to overcome, but

567

there's still so much about Heather's

story that even I, myself, am struggling

568

to figure out what is it that I really

want to leave and impart as wisdom to

569

you today, my listeners that have been

following along, but it's quite simple.

570

I think that we have to realize that if

we're ever going to garner this trust,

571

this strength that we have inside of

ourselves, we have to have a frank and

572

blunt conversation, from time to time,

that challenges that status quo, that

573

challenges the people, the places, and

the things that we've been through,

574

but more importantly, not letting them

get the best of ourselves, even if

575

it's on a recorded podcast episode.

576

Friends, there is always an opportunity in

this world to change the script, to always

577

tell your story in a way in which you

seem heroic, to seem like you're proud.

578

Maybe the people that I've had

previously on this show are not as proud.

579

Maybe they're not as loud as others

about what their successes are.

580

Maybe they're making it all up.

581

Part of my process of this show is to

understand the authenticity and the

582

connection to others, but even I have the

wool pulled over myself from time to time,

583

and even me, Joshua Smith, owner of Your

Speaking Voice LLC, works with clients

584

that sometimes pull the wool over my own

eyes, and that's the time in which I have

585

to have a frank conversation with them

as to what they really are trying to do.

586

I think that it's really not

about confronting, or even making

587

people feel bad about themselves.

588

It's just about understanding a little

bit better about who we are, why we react

589

the way we do, and making ourselves just a

little bit better than we were yesterday.

590

Even if we're trying to

escape from something that we

591

have held onto for so long.

592

We could be in the midst of it for a very

long time, but the moment in which we're

593

able to let go of it, the moment in which

we're able to overcome, maybe it's the

594

friends, and the family members, or even

other people that we have that have been

595

holding us back, once we start to let go

of that, that's when real change begins,

596

but we can also screw up that change.

597

We can be very bad when it comes to

even managing that expectation of

598

change, which is why I have repeatedly

have said, working with a coach,

599

working with somebody that will hold

you accountable, can make a huge,

600

huge difference in creating that value

that you're seeking, but by all means.

601

You don't ever have to feel like you're

forced, or coerced, to do what you

602

don't want to do, because that's the

last thing, even myself personally,

603

would ever want to do, and any well

mannered coach that has training, that

604

has an understanding of a listening

ear, and is willing to help you, would

605

also respect those boundaries as well.

606

Now don't get me wrong, Heather was

a fantastic guest, and I love that

607

she had the courage to even start her

story today, so if you do reach out to

608

her, do me a favor and don't bash her.

609

Don't make her feel like she should

have not shared her story, because what

610

it means to go through this process is

to gain the confidence, and a little

611

bit more knowledge, of what it means

to keep moving forward, so Heather, I

612

want you to know personally, from the

bottom of my heart, I can't wait for

613

you to be willing and open to share even

more of what your story is all about.

614

Friends, I don't know where you are

at in your storytelling adventure,

615

or even what you want to share

next, but sharing is caring.

616

Don't let other people abuse, and rip

away, those awesome things that you have

617

to say, especially if it allows others

to heal in the journey that they're

618

trying to heal from, and being able to

discover and provide encouragement in

619

ways in which they might otherwise never

been able to find in any other source.

620

This is about gaining trust.

621

It's the courage to grow and lead by

example, but more importantly, It's

622

time to stop the negative self talk.

623

I'm so proud of Heather, and others,

that have walked through addiction with

624

a sober look, at the sober reality, of

the things that sometimes are not easy

625

to stare right in the face of, but at

the same token, it is about overcoming.

626

It's about authenticity.

627

It's about creating that connection with

others, to be able to feel inspired, to be

628

able to tell your story in more ways than

one, but even then, even if there's no

629

moral to the story, I think it's just good

to know that you're adding to the numbers

630

of the amazing people that are willing

to step forward and say, "I am saved.

631

I feel better, and I'm glad that you're

part of that overall statistic.", because

632

you're not just a number, you are part

of an overall story that will challenge

633

the status quo and eliminate any kind

of addiction, any kind of pain, any

634

kind of sorrow, that you might face,

and that is pretty worthy to tell.

635

Thanks for listening to episode

number 142 of Speaking From the

636

Heart, and I look forward to

hearing from your heart very soon.

637

Outro: Thanks for listening.

638

For more information about our podcast

and future shows, search for Speaking From

639

The Heart to subscribe and be notified

wherever you listen to your podcasts.

640

Visit us at www.yourspeakingvoice.biz

for more information about potential

641

services that can help you create

the best version of yourself.

642

See you next time.